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U published every Thursday morning, in the
room immediately over tbe Post Office, Main
Street, Eaton, Ohio, at the following rotes:
tl 60 per annum, in advance.
. 2 00, if not paid within the year, and
.ti 60 after tbe year ha expired.
tTbesertteiwill be rigidly enforced. .1 1
' No paper discontinued until all arrearage
are paid.unlessat the option of the publisher
. IjTAIl communication addressed lotheEd
tor must be ent free of pcstage (o insure at
ention. Ofo communication inserted, unless ao
companied by responsible name.
, .Araerlutu Artist': Union.
THE -American Artists' Union, would resoect-
A fully announce to the citiseni of the TJuitcd
States and the Canadas, that for the purpose of
cultivating a taste for the find arts throughout
the country, and with a view of enabling every
janiuviu oeeome possesses, m a gallery oi in
tra vines,, i
By the First Artist ef the Age,
TKcv huve determined, in order to Croats an h.
tensive sale for their engravings, and thus not
only give employment to a large uuoiber of artists
ana oiuers, dui inspire among our countrymen a
taste for work of art, to present to tbe purchas
ers of their engravings when 230,000 of which
are sold, ...
.850,000 GIFTS, of the Aetna! Cost f
j:; , ! ;:'! , C150.000.
"Each purchaser of a One Dollar Engraving,
mereioro, receives not oniy an engraving rich-
ly wortn tlie money, but also a ticket which enti
tleshim toonaof the Gilts when they are dis
tributed.'. .' For Five Dollars a highly finished Engraving,
beautifully painted in Oil, and rive Gift Tickets,
will be sent; or lire Dollars worth of splendid En.
gravings cau no selected irom tue Catalogue, sua
tvni by return man or expross.
A coprof the Catalogue, together with a speci
men of one of tho Engravings, can be seen at the
olHce of this paper.
. For each Dollar sent an Engraving actually
worth tn.1t sum, ana uut lictet, will immedi
ately be forwarded:
' The Committee believing that the success of
this Ureat National Undertaking will be maten.
ally promoted by the energy auuenterpris of in
telligent anu persevering Agents, nave resolved
to treat with such on the most liberal terms.
Any person wishing to become au Ageut, by
sending (post pW,) tl, will receive by return of
Mail, a one Dollar engraving, a "Uitt Ticket,"
.a Prospectus, a Catalogue and all other necessa
: On the final completion of the sale, tho Gifts
will be placed in the hands or a Committee of the
-purchasers to be distributed, due u tice of which
will bo giveu throughout the United States and
LIST OP GIFTS.
100 Marble bustsuf Washington at $100
100 " ' Clay 100
100 '. " Webster 100
100 " Calhoun loo
60 elegant Oil Paintings, in splcn
diagilt frames, size 8x4 ft.each 100
100 elegant Oil raintiugs, !ix4 it.
600 steel plate Engravings, bril
liantly colored n oil, rich gilt
frames, 21x30 in. each.
10,000 elegant steel plate Engra
vings, colored iu oil, of the
,: Washington Monument, 20x20
S.T,000 steel plafcengravings.from
100 diucrcnt plates now in po.
sessiou of and pwned by the
Artists' Union, of the market
value of from 50 cts to (1 each,
1 first-class Dwelling, in 81st St.,
N. Y. city, '
i'i Building Lots in lOOandlol sts.,
N.Y.citv.eacb 25x100 ft. deep 1,000
109 Villa 8ites, containing each
v lu,000 sq. ft. in the suburbs of
N. Y. city, and enmmauding a
magnificent view of the llud-
sun Kiver ana Long lsiaoa
. Found. at
' 800 (4,000
. fiO perpetual loans of cash, without
interest or sccuriivoiejoucai;"
60 do. do; do. 100
i)0 ' do. ' do. do. 80
SSO do. do. ' do. 20
s.nnn do. do. do. 5
Reference in regard to the Real Estate, F. J
Vischii i Co.. Kent Estate Brokers, New York.
Orders, (post paid.) with money enclosed, to be
addressed, J.W. HOLBROOKE, Sec.
605 Broadway. N. Y
' t3f"The Engravinga in the Catalogue are now
ready lor aeuver. nui.s, ju
', " ,'" DEALER IN
CHINA, GLASS-WARE, ETC.,
181 Main Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Trench China -
Gold Band, China and Tea Ware;
' .White Bank, diuing and tea ware:
Whit Ireniton Ware
,1 , Dining, Tea and 'toilet Ware:
; Painted Ware;
j! Common White and Edge Ware;
Uirondoles; Solar Lamps;
'"' Plated .Spoons, Forks and Butter Knives;
'' Plated and Britannia Castors:
- Oerman Silver Table and Tea Spoons;
' '' Guarded and plain Lanterns;
Glassware, every variety;
Waiters and Tea Trays;
,j Foreign and Domestic Cutlery;
- Britannia Ware. Sept- 88
v Lebanon 'CitUcn" copy. ; . .
.h i : . Saddlery.
'A complete stock of every thing in this line, for
i l ' A i i ' . 1 ,o U.mw alroflft
VBIC C UOWO U, aw. AO .......
- CT Kendall of the New Orlean Picsyune,
relates the following, which occured in his
presence at Baden in Germany:
Al tbi Junction we were joined.by on Eng
lish parly, when the subject matter brought
underdiscussion was bathing.
,,,! take cold sponge bath every morning
when at home, suul John Bull.
'So do 1 retried the Yankee,
.'.."Winter and sumer,' continued the English
My aystem exactly,' responded the Tan.
'Is vour weather and water cold? queried
,,'RiKht chilly,' continued Brother ' Jona
than. . ,
'How cold?' inquired John
fSo cold that the water all freezes asl pour
it down my back, and tattlea upon the floor
m the shape of. hail.", responded the xanKee,
. . . .
wumue same cunning iw.naie oi iue c,c.-
. . 'ii r a t
- CIB TUU ill II1C lit! IOUIII lO Ilia III miieum,
?n. ; JA . h ihZi. i .. ..,. ir C..
iritf vaii U7 ai I si ihinv I tira nmir ria ilrtl hAnns
j. ' .. Z.-i. i . . 6
lown my back j
The Englishman shrugged bif shoulders
Witfc eoiil, aud marvellea ,. , t
Scene in a School-room,
,. A. new pupil entered, of whom the pet
igogiie inuireu , . . ,
-t,'Cn.yoti wad and spell?' - . , -.i-.
Yes,' laid the urchin, 'I can read in the
ctimer.ieud spell 'ifltet and gravy.' ., i
Here the iad read and (pelt iu tbe mott ra
oid manaer. ii :..-.'! t. i -' .
iIn Adan'i fall, weiiiwed all John Rog.
ra burst dis steak for nine small, children,
and om t the 'breat t-a-t-e-r-tater, and
grave r-ytaterana.gravy.' .,
. ii 'You m$f take your teat, and if I beif any
noise from you, I hull call you up and give
' fw a tofpag.' ai -., sw .
'Umph,' said our hero, shrugging hia shouldr
ers as he wrt to his eat, I wonldu't come
though if you'd give ma two,'
BY W. 0. GOULD.
New Series .
EATON, PREBLE COUNTY,
0. DEC 21. 1354.
$l,50p or Annum inAdvance.
Vol. 11, No. 27.
THE BROKEN HEART.
Thou ancient Sexton planting here
The fragrant flowers of May,
Tell me who lies beneath the sod
Thou mak'st so greeu and gay?
"And what rails forth the kindly tear
Upon thy furrowed face.
Whilst musing iu this lone churchyard
This sad, yet ploasaut place V
" Stranger, beneath there lieth one
Unfortunate and fair;
Oh ! harsh and cruel was her lot
'Twas love, air, laid her there.
"Ask in the village her sad tale"
He paused to plant heart's-ease,
Then thoughtful gazed upon the boughs
Whose music filled the breeze .
And on the clouds that decked the sky
With gorgrous pomp and sheen,
Aye the heart's-ease will suit her now,"
lie said with peusive mien.
"It was an old man's fancy, sir,
Jo think that she must lore
To see those flowers among the grass
Growing her grave above.
" She loved them once the gentle soul !"
He brushed a tear aside,
" And love of things so pure and sweet,
Thin sod cau never hide.
'"But if I idly dream or no,
One thing 1 know is clear,
That pitying tears will long be shed
For her who lieth here."
Mysterious Disappearance of Miss Moore.
The community at Rochester, N..Y., ere still
excited upon this subject. The Mayor of the
city seems to incline to the opinion that she
, y.v h.rnwn ant. tta he has not offered
anv reward for obtaining any clue to the mat
ter, although he has been authorized to do so
by the common council. For so doing, he and
the P . lice Justice, who has also been indiffer
ent; are freely censured by the public. Lat
terly, some new clue to the matter is said to
have been obtained. Heretofore no intelli
gence of her could be obtained after she left
her boarding house, the residence of a Mr.
Whitney, on the evening of the 14th of No
vember, but now it has been discovered by-investigations
at the Mayor's office, that she was
at the store of Wilden & Groton, and purchas
ed a pair of gloves, after she left Whitney's.
She was then in company with another woman.
The clerk remembers it from the fact that she
offered an uncurrent Michigan bill in Payment
which, upou his refusal, she said she got it of
Mr. Henderson, in whose store she was em
ployed as a tailoress. The inquiry now is,
who was her female companion ? If she was
an honest woman and resident of the city, she
would have come forward end acknowledged
herself before this. It is not to be supposed
that they both have been murdered or abduct
ed, but it is more reasonable to infer they have
gone off together. These facts are given out
by the Mayor, who has been singularly inef-
fic ient, but are doubted by many of the citi'
tens. - A correspondent of theRochester Union
makes the following comments upon the oc
currence, predicated on the supposition that
she was not seen after she left Whitney's,
"Emma Moore went from her boarding house
down to the centre of the city on the alter
noon of thedayon which she disappeared, and
made some trifling purchases. On her return
she took a customer's vest from Mr. (lender
son's shop, and promised to complete and e-
turn the same by the loiiowmg evening. Al
ter returning home and taking tea, she worked
upon that vest between one and two hours, or
till half past seven o'clock. She then sud
denly leu her work and her visitors, and has
not since been seen, so far as the pub ic un
derstand. Now was it not strange that she
should leave at that late hour, alone, without
giving some good excuse for so doing ? If she
went down to the city to trade, as alleged,
wiAm tliA mh an 7 fihe hurt tiff n nlipp that pv.
emg, and must go again the next day to re
turn the vest. ' It does not appear that she re'
quired any thing to take her so far at so late
an hour of the night. It does not appear that
she went down into the city at that time at
all, as the investigation has shown. It is not
pretended that she was seized before 8 o'clock,
nearlMr. Whitney's, and dragged away : in
deed, that is improbable, when so many stores
were open along North street, and so many
people moving. - Or if she was, it is hardly to
be supposed that the ruffians would detain her
till after ten, and I hen retake her near home,
when the screams were heard. Then where
was she during the three hours intervening
between the time she left Whitney's and the
time the cries were heard ? No one domes
forward to say she was visiting' at his or her
house; hence she was as much lost the mu-
WKi.n-.. .h,.hi,i i
uui, on ojio uuu iter ii a h diii an uol lutni uiii(i'i
t ,.,..:.,;, ' a.m, viv
I "iw torn iu i a i a luuuui Buvni vit jun
rf,mBrI . . .. meelinj ,he o!hel ni(rht
m.i h- Umm Monro &.. fnr, thro.
immediately after leaving Whitney's
hou' nd we w' ten y" vb0 murdered her,
if she has been murdered."
"To what other conclusion can we arrive
than this? that Emma Moore left her residence
with the intention oi absenting'berself, or else
was at once or soon after forcibly restrained or
went away with strangers or acquaintance
"Finally if Emma Moore uttered the screams
heard in North-street, the had been three
hours with strangers or aquaintances before
the first crv was heard. ; Few will believe slit-
was with strangers: benoe, if foully dealt wth
shews first allurea away , ojr some person
who possessed her oonfldenoe, Who wasui
ItrAn old farmer out west was in the habit
every night of pounting hi live slock, to see if
any bad gone astray. He called to h s son
. "John, have you counted the hogs
"Yes, sir.":, .. , ,,, ., ...f.!i.'
, "And tlie turkey cows n4 iheep V'. .
."Well then, John, go and wake up the,, old
nen, count ner, ana tueq go to Deu,"
[Form the Detroit Daily Advertiser:]
Doesticks Invents a Patent Medicine.
NEW YORK, Nov, 6 1854.
Seventy Hundred and One Narrow sreet.
Congratulate me my fortune is made I
am immortalized, and I've done it myself. I
nave gone into the pntent medecine business.
My name will be handed down to posterityas
that of a universsl benefactor. The hsnd
which hereafter writes upon the record of fame
the names of Ayer, Sands, Townsend, Moffat,
Morrison, and Brandi.'th, must also inscribe,
side by aide with these appellations, the no
less distinguished cognomen of the undying
Doesticks. Emulous of deathly notoriety
which has been acquired by the medical
worthies just mentioned, I also resolved to
achieve a name and fortune in the same re
putable and honest manner. Br.ueht a pal-
ion of tar, a cake of beeswax, and a firkin of
lard, and in twenty one hours I presented to
the world the first hatch of "Doettick's Pa
tent Self -Acting Four llurtt Power Ual$am,"
designed to cure all diseases of the mind,
bod) or estate, to give strength to the weak,
money to the poor, bread and (utter to the
hungry, boots to the bare-foot, decency to
DiacKguarus, and common sense to the know
nothings. It acts physically, morally, men
tally, psychologicaly, physiologically anj geo
logically, and it is intended to make our sub
lunary sphere a blissful paradise, to which
Heaven itself shall be but a side show,
1 have not yet brought it to absolute per fee
uon, dui even now it acts with immense
force, as you will perceive by the accompa
nying testimonials, and lecords of my own in
dividual experience, lou will observe that I
have notresorted to a usual manner of prepnr
ing certificates : which is to be certain that
all those intended for Eastern circulation, shnll
come from some formerly unheard of place in
the West, while those sent to the West.shall
be dated at some place fotty miles East of
Sun-rise, but 1 semi to you, ns representing
tne western country, a certificate from an
f., c. .... ... .
VICUU IU1IIJC1 i ,
"Dear Sir : The land comprising my farm
has hitherto been so poor that a Scotchman
could not get his living olT of it; and so stony
that we had to slice our potatoes and plant
them edgeways; but hearing of your balsam; I
put some on the corner of a ten acre lot, sur
rounded by a rail fence and in the morning I
found the rocks had entirely disn peared a
neat stone wall encircled the fields, and the
rails were split into oven uood and piled up
symmetrically iu my bnck yard. Put about
half an ounce into the middle of a huckleber
ry swamp in two days it was cleared off,
planted with corn and pumkins and had a row
of peach trees in full bloom through the mid
dle. As an evidence of its tremendous
strength, 1 would state that it drew a striking
likeness of my eldest daughter drew my
youngest boy out of the mill pond drew a
blister all over his rtomach drew a load of
potatoes four miles to market, and eventually
drew a prize of ninety seven dollars in the
Slate lottery. And the effect upon the in
habitants hereabout has been so wonderful
that they have opened their eyes to the good
of the counlry.and Ihey are determined to vote
for a Governor who is apposed to frosts in the
middle of June, and who will make a posi
tive law against freshets, bail storms, and the
seventeen year locusts."
There isn't th t some? But I give one more
from a member of the senior class in a west
em College, who, although misguided, neg
lected and ignorant, is undoubtedly as honest
aud sincere as his Prussianized system will
admitof. I have corrected tlie orthography and
revised some ot the gramatical inaccuracies;
but, besides attending to these trifles.inserling
marks of punctuation, and putting the copi
tals in tbe right places. I assure you I have
made no alteration.
SALL HARBOR, June 21, 1854.
My Dear Doctor: (You know that I at
tended medical lectures half a winter, aid
once assisted to get a c ooked needle out of
baby's leg; so 1 understand perfectly well the
theoiy, and practice of medicine, and the
Doctor is perfectly intimate underihe Prussian
system.) by the incessant study require'!
this establishment, I had become worn down
so thin that I was obliged to put on an over
coat to casta shadow but accidently hearing
of your balsam, I obtained a quantity, and,
obedience to the Homeopathic principles
this institution, took an mjimletmal dose
only; in four days I measured one hundred and
eighty-two inches round the waiste could
chop eleven cords of hickory wood in two
hours and a halt; on a bet carried a yoke
oxen two miles and a quarter in my left banc
my right being tied behind me, and if any one
doubts the (act, the oxen are still to be seen
"About two weeks after this, I had the
pleasure of participating in a gun-powder ex
plosion, on which ocasion my arms and legs
were scattered over tbe vilhage, and my man
gled remains pretty equally distributed through
out the entire country. Under these circum
stances my life was dispart d of.and my class
mates had bought a pine coffin, and borrowed
whole shirts to attend the funeral in: when
the invincible power of your four horse power
baisun (wnicn i happened to have in my vest
pocket) suddenly brought together the scat
term pieces of my body collected my limbs
Irom the rural districts put new life into
shattered frame, and I was restored uninjured
to my lriemis, with a new setot double teeth.
I have preserved the lable which enveloped
the bottle, and had it sewed to the seat of
pantaloons, and I now bid grim death' defi
ance, lor l leei thai i am unkiiiaoie, and
fact I am even now designated the 'Great
Wettern' Achilles. ' Ski Hv."
I feel after this Mr. Editor, I need give you
no more reports of third persons, but will nev
ertheless detail some of my own personal ex
perience ot the article. I caused some to
ap lied. to the Washtenaw bank, after
failure, and while the balsam lasted, the
redeemed its notes with specie.' The cork
one of the bottles dropped upon the head of
childless widow, and in six weeks she had
blooming husband. Administered some to
hack driver in a glass of gin and sugar, and
that day he swindled but seven persons, and
only gave two of them bad money in change.
Uave a few drops gratis to a poor woman who
was earning a precarious subsistence by ma
king calico shirtv with a one-eyed needle.and
the next day she waa discovered to be heir
a large fortune. The Know-Kothing candi
date for Mayor of tho city has sent for a bottle
and it has entirely cured him of a violent
verbal diarrhoea. Gave some to an up-
actor, anJ that night ha said "damned" only
twenty-one times. One, of the Daily papers
got the next dose, and the next edition but
one there were four editoral falshoods, seven
indecent adveitisemen's.and two columns and
a hall of home made "Foreign Correspond
ence." Caused fifteen .drops to be. given
the low commedian oft Broadway theatre,
and that night he was positively dressed more
like a man than a monkey aotunlly spoke
some lines of tbe author mode ouly three io-
sane attempts at puerile witicisms only twice
went out of his way to introduce some grossly
indelicate line into bispsrt, and for wonder, i
lost so much of his self-conceit that for full
half an hour he did not be live himself the
greatest commedian in the world. Gave some
to a news boy and he manufactured but three
fires, a couple of murdtrs, and one horrible
railroad accident, in the next thirty minutes.
Put some on the outside of the Crystal Palace
and the same day the stock went from 22 to
44. Our whole Empire City is entirely chon-
ed by the miraculous power of "Doesiick's
Patent Self-Acting four Horse Power Bal
sam." The gas is lighted on dark nights, in
stead of moon-light evenings there are no
more highway robberies in the streets, if there
are, the offenders, when arrested, are instant
ly discharged by the police magistrate. No
more building materials on the sidewalks; no
more midnight murders, no more Sunday
rows; no more dirty streets; no more duels in
Hoboken, and no more lies in the newspapers.
Broadway is swept and garnished; the M. P.'s
are civil; and the boys don't steal anymore
dogs. In fact, so well content are we with
our city, that we feel, as the Hibernian poet
so beautifully says
O, if there bean Elysiao on earth -It
is this it is this.
Orders for my Balsam, accompanied by the
money, will be immediately attended to; oth
erwise, not, for my partner and I have re
solved to sell for cash only, feel, ng as did Dr.
Young, who approptiately and feelingly re
marks "We take no notes on time,"
Dr. Q. K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P. B., M. D.
P. S. Bull Dogge says I piled it up too
strong, and that no one will believe what he
calls "that humbug about the newspapers,
and the preposterous nonsense concerning the
Broadway Actor." I am aware that in these
instances my medicines has performed a mod
ern miracle, but the facta remain, "no less
true, than strange."
Dr. Q. K. D., P, B,, M, D,
Popping the Question.
Jedediah Hodge was dead in love with the
beauteous Sally Hammond, but owing to an
unconquerable feeling of diffidence, he had
never beeu able to screw up his courage to
the sticking point requsite to enable him to
inform her ot his predilection. Three several
times he had dressed up in his'"Sunday go-to
meeting-fixins," and made his way to her
father's house, determined this time to uo or
die. But, unluckily, his courage oozed away
a nd became small m drgiees and beuutifu
less, as the politicians say, till, when he was
fairly in her presence, he wasbartly able to
remark that it was a warm evening. Sally
got tired at length of this oft r iterated ob
servation, and resolved to help him out of his
predicament, for, like a true woman, she had
not failed to perceive what Jedediah was try'
ing tofcome at, but couldn't. Fur the f urth
time Jedediah came, but did not succeed any
better. Sally commenced her attack by in
forming him that Mary Somers, an intimate
friend, was going to be married.
"You don't say so," said Jedediah, that be
ing the only idea that occurred to him, except
one, ami that he diden't dare to give utter
a nee to.
'Yes," said Sally, "she's going to be mar
ried next week. It seems rather queer that
she Should be married before me, considering
she's a year younger."
Jedediah's heart leaped up in his throat. but
he diden't venlute to say any thing.
There was a pause.
"Jedediah," resumed Sally, after a little
hesitation, " I'll tell you something, if you'll
promise certain true that you won't tell any
body." ' "No, I won't," said Jedediah, stoutly
proud in the confidence reposed in him.
"It isn't much after all," said Sally.castina
down her eyes, "only a dream, and I don't
know whether I ought to tell you ofler all,
though to be sure there was someiing aboutyou
"Dotell me," pleaded Jedediah, his curi
osity overcoming his bashlulnees in a degree.
"But I am afraid you'll tell after all."
"No, I won't, certain true. I hope I may
be horsewhipped if I do."
"Then don't look at me Jedediah, or I can't
tell it I dreamed that that thaiyou and 1
I never shall be able to tell you that you and I
were going to be married the day before Mary
Jedediah started, as ifrtruck by n galvanic
battery, and shouted enthusiastically, "Ao ice
will, goah, if you'll only say the word.
Of course Sallv was astonished at this sud
den application of tier dream, and could not
believe he was in earnest, ai length sue
yielded her consent and her dreamed was ver
ified at the altar in less than a ween.
Ladies that have bashful lovers, take heed !
tJj""My lad," said a traveler to a little fel
low, whom he met, clothed in pants arid small
jacket, but without a very necessary article of
apparel, "my lad, wnere is your snin r
' Mammy's washing it,"
, "Have you no other?"
"No other I" exclaimed the urching in sur
prise, "would you want a boy to have a
fjA few days since, a son of the Emerald
Isle made his appearance at a livery stable,
and called for a horse and buggy, wherewith
to attend a funeral. The command was obey-
i ed and the horse and buggy stood ready.
Whereupon Pit inquired as lo.theamount nec
essary for the hire.
"Three dollars," was the reply. .
"Thiee dollars ! Uch, it's not the baste I
want to buy it's the rint of him I'm after."
A doctor had a very intimate friend, whom
he was accustomed to meet every day; but at
length the latter avoided him, and the Doctor
could never get near enough to speak t word
to him. But one day happening to come sud
denly upon his friend, tbe doctor saluted him
Hnw. rnmes it. mv friend, that I never get
to see you of late that you try to keep out of
my way ?"
"Why, the fact is," he replied, '.'I -haven't
been sick for so long, that 1 am ashamed to
meet a doctor I"
The use of Money,
A vain man' motto "Win gold, and wear
it.". r'.i , i
A generous man's 'Win gold and share it.'
' A miser's 'Win gold and spare it.'
A piofligate'-'Win gold and spend it
A broker' 'Win gold and lend it ,
; A fool's Win gold and end iU", , ,;
, ' A gambler' 'Win, gold and lose it.' ,
Aailor' 'Win gold and aruise it., 1
A wise man's-r-'Wio gold and use it.'- ::
There is a Brighter Heaven.
The faithless world promiscuous flows,
Enrnnt in fancy's vision ;
Allured by sound, beguiled by shows.
And empty dreams, nor scarcely kuowa
There is a brighter hcavcu.,
Fine gold will change, and diamonds fade,
Swift wings to wealth be given;
AH-varyiug time our forms invade.
The seasons roll, light sink in shade
There's nothing lasts but heareu.
Creation's mighty fabric all
Will be to atoms riven ;
Tho sky consumed, the planets fall,
Convulsions rock tins earthly ball,
There's nothing tirm but heaven.
This world with all its wealth is poor,
And like a baseless vision,
Its lofty domes aud brilliant ore,
Its genu and crowus are vain and poor,
There's nothing rich but heaveu.
A stranger lonely here I roam,
From place to place I'm driven ;
My friends are gone, and I'm iu gloom,
Tiiis earth is lonely as a tomb,
I have uo home but beaveu.
The clouds disjierse, the light appears,
II v sins are all forgiven:
Triumphant grace has quelled my fears;
Boll on, ye suns, fly swift, ye ycurs,
I'm ou the wiug for heaveu.
And now I bid the world adieu,
Let life's dull chains bo riven;
The charms of Christ have caught my view,
The world of light I will pursue,
To live with him iu heaveu.
OPPOSED TO MATRIMONY.
"Isyr-ur family opposed to matrimony?"
"Wal, no, I rather guess not, seein' as how
my mother has had four hucbonds, an' stans a
pretty smart chance for bavin' another,"
"Pour husband;,! It is impossible."
"O yes. You see my mother's christened
name was Mehitable Sheets, an' dad's name
was Jacob Preis, and when they got murri d
the printers said it was puttin the sheets to
press. When I was bom Ihey said it was the
first edition. An' you see, mother used tube
the tarnalist critter to go to evenin' ineelin'.
She used to go out pretty late every night, an'
dad was afeered I'd get in the same habit, so
he used to put me to bed at eijly candle-light
cover me up with a pillar, an' put me to sleep
with a boot jack. Wal, dad had got up every
night an' let mother in; if he didn't git down
and open the door pretty darned quick when
she cum, he'd catch particular thunder; so
dad used to sleep with his head out of the win
der, so's to wake up quick, an1 one night he
got his head a leetle too fur out, an' slipped
out altogether; an' down dad cum, caflumux
right down on the pavement, au' smashed him
in ten thousand pieces I"
' "What was he killed by the fall ?"
"Wal, no, not exactly killed by the fall. I
rayther, kindersorler guess it was the sudden
feichin' up on tho pavement that killed him.
But mam she cum hum, an' found him lyin'
thar, an she had him swept up together, an'
put in a toflin, an' had a hole dug in the but
ryin' groun', an' had dnd put in an' buried up,
an' had a while-oak plank put up to his lied,
an' Lad it whitewashed all over for a tomb
" So your mother was left a poor lone
"Wal, yes, but she didn't mind that much;
wasn't lone belore she married Sam Hide, you
see she mnrrieu Hide because he was just
dad's size, and she wanted hun to wear out
dad's clothes. Wal, the way old Hide used
to hide me was a caution to my hide. Hide
had little the toughest hide of any hide except a
bull's hide, and the way Hide used to hide
away liquor in his hide, was a caution even t"
a bull's hide. Wol, one cold day old Hide
got his hide so full of whisky that he pitched
hed first into a (.now bunk, an' there he stuck
ant', friz to death. So mam had him p .lied
out, an' had him laid out, an' then she had
ai other hole dug in the burryiu' groun' an'
had him buried, an' then she had another
white-oak plank put up nt his head an' white
washed all over, an'"
"So your mother was again a widow I"
"O, yes, but I guess she didn't lay awake
long to think about it, for in about three
weeks she married Sam Strong, and he was
the strongest headed cuss you ever did sec
He went a fishin' the other day an' got
drowned an' he was so tnrual strong-headed,
I'll be darned to darnntion if he didn't floal
right agin the current, an' they found him
above three mile3 above the stream, an' it took
three yoke of cattle to haul him out. Wal,
mam had qim buried along side o' 'tolhertwo,
and had a White-oak plank put up at his head,
an' white-Wished all over nice, so there's
three on 'em all in a row."
"And your mother, was a widow for a third
"Yes, but mam didn't seem to mind it a tai
nal sight. The next feller she married was
Jacob Hays, and the way mam did moke him
haze is a caution, now I tell ye. ii ne does
anything a little out of the way, mam makes
hirn take a bucket an' a white wash brush,
an' go right up to the burryiu' groun' an'
white-wash the three oak planks, just to let
hirn know what he may come to when he's
planted in the same row, and she's got mar
ried to the filth husband. So you see my fam
ily nrn't a tarnal sight opposed to a dose of
The Belle and the Student.
At a certain splendid evening party, a
hnughtv young beauty turned to student who
slood near her, and said:
"Cousin John, I uuderstand your eccentric
friend L is here ; I have a great curiosity
to see him. Do bring him here, and introduce
him to me."
The student went in search of his friend,
nnd at length found him lounging on a sofa.
"Come, L ," said he, "my beautiful
cousin Catharine wishes to be introduced to
"Well trot her out, John," drawled L ,
with an affected yawn.
John returned to his cousin, and advised
her to defer the introduction to a more favor
able time, repeating the answer he had receiv
ed. The beauty bit her lip, but the next mo
ment said: "Well, never fear! 1 insist on
After some delay, L was led up, and
the ceremony Of introduction performed.
Agreeably surprised by 'he beauty and com
manding appearance of Catharine, L made
a profound bow; but instead of returning it,
she stepped backward, and raising her eye-glass
surveyed him deliberately from head to foot;
then waving the baci-oi ner hand towatd him,
drawled out: . , :i v j i ; .;
. ."Trot him .off, John,, trot him off, that .is
enough n -) L .
; 0Tris line moke up tbe column.. ; ;
All over square charged as two squares.
ItrAdverlisemen's inserted till fordid at the
expense of tbe advertiser, '
One square, (or les) 3 insertions,
" " Each additional inrtrtion,
Three month, - - -"
" Six mouths, - - -
,i Twelvemonths, -' - -
One fourth of a column per year,
half " " " " -"
column " " "
Executed at this Office with nestnes and
despatch, at the lowect possible rates. .
Art of a Yankee Painter.
A person who kep! n Inn by the road side
went to a painter, who for a tme had set his
easel not a hundred miles from Luke Onta
rio, and inquired for what sum the painter
would paint him a bear for a signboard.' It
was l be "a real good one," that would at
"Fifteen dollars," replied the painter .
"That's too much!" said the Innkeeper;
"Tom Larkens will do it for ten."
The painter cogitated for a moment. He
did not like that his rival should get a com
mission in prefrence to himself, rllhougli it
was only for a sign-board.
"Is it to be a wild or tame bear ?" he in
MlVitli o rlint,, nr urilliAiif tn ?'
asked the painter.
"Without a chain." ,
"Well, 111 paint you f wild bear, with (Ut
a chain for ten dollors."
The bargain was struck, the painter set to
work, and in due time sent home -the sign
board, on which he had puinled a huge brown
bear of a most ferocious aspect, the sign
board was the admi ration of all the neighbor
hood, and drew nlenty'of customer to ihe Inn:
and the Innkeeper knew not whether to con
gratulate himself more upon the possession of
so attractive a sign, or on having secured it
fur the small si. m of ten dollars. Time slip
ped on, his barrels were empty, and his pock
ets filled. Everything went on thriving for
three weeks, when one uiuht there arose one
of those violent storms of rain and wind,
thunder and lightning, which ure so common
in North America, and which passes over
almost ns rapidly as they rise. When the Inn
keeper awoke next morning, the sun was shi
ning, the birds singing, and ell traces of the
storm had passed uway. He looked up anx
iously to ascertain that his sign was tale.
There it was sure enough, swinging toand- fro
as usual, but the bear had disappeared. The
Innkeeper could hardly belit-ve his eyes ; full
of surprise and anger, , he ran to the 'painter,
and related what had happened. The painter
looked up cooly from his work.
"Was it a wild bear or a tame one ?"
"A wild bear."
"Was it chained or not!?"
"I guss not."
" I hen," cried the painter triumpnnthly,
"how could you expect a wild bear to remain
in such a storm as that of last night without a
The Innkeeper had nothing to say against
so conclusive an argument, an I finally agreed
to give the painter fifteen dollars to paint him
a wild bear with a chain, that would not lake
to the woods in the ncxtsiorm.
For the benefit of our profession renders, it
may be necessary to state that the roguish
painter had painted, the first bear. in water col:
ors, which had been washed away by the rain;
the second bear was painted in oil colors, and
was therefore able to stand the weather.
Our Becky and the Blue Jacket.
A young damsel, who is engaged, nnd will
shortly be united to a gallant son of Neptune,
lately visited the Mariner's Church. During
the sermon the parson discoursed eloquently
and with much earnestness, of the dangers and
temptations of the sailor. He concluded by
asking the following question; "Is there any
one who thinks anything of him who wears a
tarpaulin hat and blue jacket; or a pair of
trousers nmde of duck ? In short, is there one
who cares ought for the poor sailor I" A little
girl, a shier of the damsel, jumped up, and.
loosing nrcniy ai ner sisier, saiu iu a loneiouu
enough for every one to hear, "Yes, sir; our
Beckey does !"
Shop-keeper. "Thai's n bad fifty cent
piece, sir; I can't take it ; U s only lead, sil
Customer. "Well, now, admitting such to
be the fact, I should say that the ingenuity
displayed in the deception might induce you
to accept it. A lmire, sir, tie devotion or the
artist to the divine idea of Liberty. Liberty,
the idol of us all ! He having wrought her ef
figy in humble lead, in order to render it wor
thier of that glorious impression, resorts to the)
harmless expediency of silvering it over !
And shall we harshly repudiate his work ?
Oh, no, sir ! You'll loke it, I know you will."
Ofrs. Partington is still alive and kicking.
The breuking of l:anks don't appear to impair
the old lady's good humor in the lease. Hear
"As to the free love, doctorings," said Mrs.
Partington, with a face as benevolent as a
thanksgiving dinner, "I don't know much
about 'em, but it seems to me they needent
cause much fear where any love exists at all
Where hearts bear responsible to each other,
and where they are mouldered together by
early love and plenty of children, depend on it
no iree love uoctonngs cau do 'em any harm."
U-Thiirlow Weed, the editor of the Albany
evening Journal, in the midst of all the dirty
turmoil of politics, has found leisure to enter
into the cultivation of babies. He is now the
lather of eighteen children his prolific help
mate having presented with one every eleven
months since their marriage. We should soy
uiui mm veeu was rainer a luxuriant kuiu oi
vegetation, anyhow. .
A gentleman playing whist with an intimate
friend, who seemed, as far as hands were con-.
cemed, to hold the Mohainedan doctrine of.
ablution in supreme contempt, said' to him,
in a countenauce "more in sorrow than man-'
ger : ". . . . ''."!
"My good fellow, if dirt were trumps what
a hand you would have."
BTOld age is coming on me rapidly," as the.
urchin said when he wassiealing apples from
sn old man's garden, and saw the owner com-'
ing, cowhide in hand. ;f ,;
0 " The victory is not aiwavs to the
strong," as the boy said when he killed a skunk:
with a bnck-baU ' ;
A Patriarch Located.
i A clergyman, n reach in? a sermon nn xnm
particular patriarch, was extremely high iit
his panegyric, and spoke of him as far excelU
im PVPrV ftflinf In IKa neUnav II. U
view of the celestial hierarchy, but in vain-;1
qe couiu not assign io his saint a place worthy,
so many virtues as he possessed; every sen-,
tnce ended thus:
"Where, then, can we nlace this erear ra'
triarch ?" . :. -. . .v
One of the -congregation, tired at )as.of the-,
repetition exclaimed .
, "As I sm going away, you may. fiut him in,
ttTREAD TBS ADYKRT SEMENTS