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Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, September 27, 1855, Image 1

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h published every Thursday morning in the old
Maionio Hi 1. second story of the brick build
ing west of C. Vaoausdal 4 Co's tlore. Main
Street, Eaton, Ohio, at the following rate :
$1:80 per annum, in advance.
2:00 if not paid within the year, and
12:60 after the year baa expired.
UThese rlte be rigidly enforced.
. Wo paper discontinued until all arrearagei are
paid unlet at tbt option of the publisher.
CTNo communication inserted, unless ac
companied bj a responiible name.
MTII
THitlf IlilfifFIIF Ss
BY L. 0. GOULD. Fearless and Tree." $l,50per Annum in Advance.
New Series. EATON, PREBLE COUNTY, 0. SEP. 27, 1855. Vbi.l2,No. 1.
Poetical.
THE DAYS OF CHILDHOOD.
A SONG—BY C. D. STUART.
The pleasant daye of childhood.
How swiftly baVe they flown.
Like young Boweri in the wildwood.
When autumn winds hare blown ;
They're goat they're gone forever
They will no more return,
Tbo' memory holds them in the heart,
Like ashes in the urn.
The hippy days of childhood,
When innocence and glee
With gentle fingers tuned the heart
To music wild and free;
They're gone they're gone forever-
Like rivers to the main$
Their dancing waves of Joy and mirth
Will ne'er return again.
The holy days of childhood,
fere evil thoughts came near.
When in the hesrt no sin was found,
And on the cheek no tear.
They're gone there gone forever
Like foot prints on the shore.
Washed out by Time's relentless waves,
Tbcy will return no more.
The pleasant, holy, happy days,
Life's only blossom time.
Where are your buds which promise gave
Of flowers in Summer's prime)
Tho' gone tho gone forever
Ye haunt the heart and brain;
And memory keeps you to anoiut
'Life'e after years of pain.
Miscellaneous
QUAKER PUNISHMENT.
A r.nne Island Quaker who haJ a very un
bov living with him, and whose
disposition he hsd tried for a lone time to bring
under the peaceful influence of Quakerism in
ain. tried anewsoecieiof punishment, which
-il related thus: .
Tiri.il of moral suasion, the old Quaker wi
about giving up in despair, when a thought
imrk him. "I will Human the lad," sa
Aminidab to himself; "1 will not atrike him,
for be is one of God'screatures, on whom men
ahould not lay their unwonny nanus, -jo
ih." laid lie. addressing the boy. "come
Josh., whose keen eye discerned in the look
and manner of the old Quaker signs of some
mysterious movement, came dog.edlvupto
his master and hung his head in token of hum
ble submission. "Josiah," continued the old
man, "Ibee has been a bad boy, and thy mas
Her has lost all patience with thee. Dost thou
know, Josiah, where the wicked and unruly
lads like thee go to ?"
No," whined the negro.
'No T Boy, has tbee never heard of the bad
placet"
V . was the renly. "I have heard that
bad boys so to down, down, down to dat
dark dungeon whar deyget de brimstone from."
"That is the place, boy," continued the
Quaker in a solemu tone, and there 1 must lake
Ihee.Josish."
"Me, massa.oh Lore, oh Lors; I I I
t.nra. miMI."
"Get thy hat, Josiah, gel thy hat, and come
with me; I can hear no words from thee."
The boy got his hat and followed the
Quaker to the railroad depot, where.they took
h run f r Biooklvn. The negro sat in
lence, half fearing half doubling theold man's
intentions. On flew the cars at a rsie me uo
never had rode before, the engine snorting and
nuffine not unlike what his imagination
pictured the chief of the infernal regions.
Trees, houses, and fences seem to fly as if
wings, and before they reached Brooklyn
noor lad's head was fairly bewildered, and
acarcely knew whether he was going up,
down, down, down." Furious as the wind
came the train down Atlantic street ; horses
norted and dsshed awsy from the track
fright ; the boys hooted and screamed,
.poor Josiab, looked as if be thought he wss
his way to the land of spirits. Presently
ngineer gave one of those terrible whistles
that echoed throughout the whole city;
the engine plunged into the tunnel.
"Good bye, Josiah," said Aminidab, and
suddenly stepped from bis seat to the platform
outside the cars. A screecr, groan,
then a stifled moan wss heard where the ne
gro sat, and then all wnrdaik and still, save
pulling and whistling of the engine snd rattling
of the cars, as they whirled on through
Harrow passsge. Once or twice a noise
the struggle of catching for breath was faintly
heard coming from the negro's seat, but noih
ing waa known of the horrors of the "middle
passage" until the train emerged from the tun
Tel on the wett side. The passengers were
then horrified at the sight which they supposed
wss a caseof cholera in their midst. A "deed
nigger" was right among them. Theold Qua
ker hsd poor Josh, by the collar, shskingand
scolding and trying to make him stand on
feet. But Josh was gone nigger to all
and i was an hour before the pas
senger! could make him understand that
.ad passed the inlernal regions. Josh,
came "out right," and it is hoped that he
be a better boy, and long remember hit
'to the "bad place." '
Think.
Did yoa ever thinkt There are men
nend their lives without thinking or reflect
4ng. When they speak, they utter the merest
"common place ideas, which are in everybody's
mouth. Nothing new or startling comes
them. People may present new truths,
they msy produce old ones in a new garb.
Reflection will enable them to do this.
Tew men of all that live and breath are really
capable of imparling information and instruc
tion. The reason w obvious. It is not
cause tbey bsve small mindsor are du II of com
tneheniion. It is because they do not think.
They never set themselves down to reflect
ieditate. Are you of that number? Can
impsrt no instructions by your voice or pen?
no wonaer you icei eenamea or yobr igno
ranee. Let this be the moment of reflection
of deep, serioua thought so that the future,
like tbe past msy not be a blank iu your
tory.
tTPs, are sister Naney and Sal rttturettT"
"No, my son, why do ask me that queationt"
'Because I hear I uncle John say, if
' would only husband your resources, otrcou
Sjet Bionga soou ue.i urici man 7uu uo.
-And I thought you wouldn't have so
young men th n to supper every buuday even
ng ; that's all Pa."
' 1 fr'Punch', aays that '"you can generally
tell tow popular you are with lady by
length sf lira aba keeps you waiting while
4ressin to reejere you"
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
er.
oh
on
the
he
or
in
on
the
and
he
and
the
like
bis
ap
pearances, he
Marriage having, at length, taken place be
tween two parties who feel a reasonable hope
of being happy together for life, each hss en
tered on a condition requiring the exercise ol
particular duties. These we shall endeavor to
narrate, commencing with advice.
To Husband I. Always regard your wife
ss your equal: treat her with kinJness, re
spect and attention; and never address her
with the appearance ol an air ot authority, as
if she were, ss some misguided husbamU ap
pear to regard their wives, a mere housekeep
II. Never interfere in her domestic concerns,
such as hiring servants, 4c.
III. Always keep her properly supplied
with money for furnishing your table in s
style proportioned to your means, and for the
parchsse Of dress and whatever other articles
tire msy require, suitable to her station in life.
IV. Cheerfully and promptly comply with
all her reasonable requests.
v. never be so unjust as to lose your tem
per toward her, in consequence or indihxrent
cookery, or irregularity in the house of meals,
or any other mismanagement caused by her
servants; knowing the difficulty of making ma
ny of them do their duty.
VI. If she have prudence and good sense,
consult her in all great operations involving
tne risk ot very serious injury in case ot rail
ure. Many a man has been rescued from TU'
in by the wise counsels of his wife; and ma
ny a foolish husband has most seiiously iniur
ed himself and family by the rej'ection of the
advice ol Ins wire, stupidly Tearing, if he fol
lowed it, he would be regarded as henpeck
ed I A husband can never consult a coun
sellor more deeply interested in his welfare
than Ms wife.
VII. If distressed or embarassed in your
circumstances, communicate your situation to
ner wun canaor, iriui she may bear your difli
cutties in mind, in her expenditures. Women,
sometimes, believing their husband's circum
stances better then they really are, disburse
money which cannot be well afforded, and
wincn, u mey Knew me re l situation or their
affairs, they would shrink from emending.
VIII. Never on any aeccovnl chide or re
buke your wife in company, should she make
any mistake in history, geography, grammer,
or indeed, on any other subject. 'I here are,
I am persuadtd, many wiveiofsuch keen feel
ings and high spirits, (such wives deserves to
be treated with the utmost drlicacy,) that they
would rather receive a severe and bitterscold
ing in private, than a rebuke in company, cal
culated to display ignorance or folly, or to im
pair them in their own opinion, or in that of
others.
To Wivrs. Always receive your husband
with smiles leaving nothing undone to render
home agreeable and gratefully reciproate his
kindness ana attention
II. Siudy to gratify his inclinations, in re
gsrd to food and cookery ; in the management
or tbe lamiiy ; in your dress, manners, and
deportment.
III. Never attempt to rule, or appear to
rule your husband. Such conduct degrades
husbands and wives always partake largely
in the degradation ol ineir husbands.
IV. In every thing reasonable comply with
his wishes with cheertulness and even,
far as possible, anticipate them.
V. Avoid all altercations or arguments lead
ing to ill humor and more especially before
company. Few things are more disgusting
than the altercations ol the married, when
the company of friend or strangers.
VI. Never attempt to interfere in his busi
ness unless he ask your advice or counsel
and never attempt to control him in thj man
agement or it.
VII. Never confide to gossips any of the
Tailings or imperfections of your husband,
any of those little difficulties that occssionslly
arise in the married stale. If you do, you may
rest assured, that however strong the injunc
tion of secrecy on the one hand, or the pledge
on the other, they win in a day or .wo become
the common talk of the neighborhood.
v ill. Try to cultivate your mind, to as.
should your husband be intelligent and well-
imotmed, you may join in rational conversa
tion with him and hia friends.
IX. Think nothing a trifle that msy pro
duce even a momentary breach of harmony,
the alightest uneasy sensation.
X. If your husband be in business, always,
in your expenditures, bear in mind the trying
viccissitudes to which trade an i commerce ore
subject ; and do not expose yourself to the
reproach, should he experience one of them,
of having unnecessarily expended money
which you and your offspring may afterwards
be in want.
XI. While you carefully shun, in provid-
ng for your family, the Scyllo of meanness
and parsimony, avoid equally tbe Charybdis
extiavagance.
XII. tryoube disposed to economize,
you not to extend your economy to the
wages you pay to seamstresses or washer woman
who, particularly the latter, are too frequently
ground lo Ihe earth by the inadequacy
the wages they receive. Economize, if you
will, in shawls, bonnets, and handkercheifs
but never, by exacting labor from without ade
quate compensation, incur the dire anathemas
pronounced in the Scripiurea against the op
pressors of the poor.
Important to Persons on Foot.
visit
who
from
but
How
be
and
you
By a recent decision ot Justice Coleridge,
New Jerwy, it ill te seen that persons
crossing Ihe street from one side walk to anoth
er have the same right that vehicles have
that you are not c impelled to stop or run
get out of their way. A decision of this kind
was also made by the Supreme Court of Cin
cinnati, some year or two since. Justice
Coleridge says :
"When passing along a street, the side
pavements were for foot passengers, and the
centre of thestreet was for carriages, and those
persons who wished to cross were bound
watch their opportunity to use due care and
caution J but, at the end or corners of a street,
if a foot passenger wished to cross it sbould
be known that the centre of the street belonged
ss much to the foot passenger as the carnage,
and he has as much right to tell the driverof
carraige to wait for him as for adriver
make him wait."
his
you
Id
tbe
Good Wish. A singular sort of a man, not
twenty miles from , sent for a magistrate
to come and write out his will. After men
turning a number of bequests, he went on :
"I give and bequeath to my beloved brolber
Zack one thousand dollars."
"Why you are no', worth half that sum
rhe world," interrupted ihe magistrate.
"Well, no mailer if I ain't," replied Ihe
other, "It's rry will that brother Zack ahould
have that sum, and be may work and get it
he baa a mind to.
irrA facetious fellow at NewpoTt asserted
that tbey never took snuff in bit Stale i 'for;'
said be, 'half a doxen sneezes would be equal
to so tartbf uaks in incb small eompas,'
A Knotty Case.
The Judge called out the name of John
Doe.
John didn't respond. Officer Striker step
ped foiward and said that the name was en
tered against a prisoner whom he had brought
in, and who was loo drunk to give his name.
Mr. Striker brought forward the individual,
who was remarkable fur nothing in particular.
The testimony of Officer Striker went to show
that the prisoner bad been found by himself
giossly drunit, lying in a doorway.
Judge w hoi's your name I
Prisoner My name is Nott Smith.
"What, sir ?"
"My name, sir, is Nott Smith."
"1 did nut ssk you what your name ai not.
but what it was."
"I lell yon my name is Nott Smith."
"Sir, no trifling with the Court. Now tell
me what your name u."
"Ag.iu I ssy, sir, my name is Nott Smith.'
"I shall lock you up for contempt of Court
f you continue to trifle in this manner. Tell
me your name, sir."
"Nolt Smith."
"Do you think to make me believe vou are
insane? Thai dodge wo'ntgo down. You're
not crazy."
"You're certainly m staken, Judge, in the
name. 1 am Noti smith."
"Officer, lock this man up for contempt of
uourt lor iweniy lour hours.
Hold in a little, Judge. You're altogeth
er too fast. I havn't comrajttedauyconlemnt;
1 said my name was Notl Smith, and so it is.
N o double t Nott S-m-i-t-b Smith na.ned
oner ui. inuu, wnose pitiy ana goodness ore
proved a hundred times to one more than they
are imitated. Judge you're sold come it's
your treat."
Perhaps not quite so badly as you think
am. We've got another account to settle
first. ou are charged with being drunk
the streets, and the penalty is a fine of ten
dollars, or the alternative is imprisonment fur
ten doys. Where Uo you live I"
"A l Mrs. Boarding's."
"Mrs. Boarding's ! Where's that ?"
"In H'jdson street."
"Isn't that a rather singular name ?"
"Yes, I thought so, and 1 shouldn't have
believed there was such a name if I hadn't
seen the word "Boarding" on a little plate
on the door."
"I think you're sold this time, or else the
Boarding" family, in point of numerical
strength, casts shade over your family, the
Smiths. Where did you get your liquor ?"
"I'm a stranger in this eily, Judfce ; jus'
came in three days ago from Madison County,
and I don't know the names of places."
"Did y u buy it yourself?"
"No a real gen'.eel young feller, whom
got acquainted with on the boat, treated me
it was the slickericst eggnogg you ever did
see ; we went into more places than I can rec
ollect, until at last I don't remember nothin'
at all ; I know I waked up thia morning, as
we used to say at the Cazenovi.i Academy,
plus a d d bad headache, and minus a ri-
pin' good wolch as long as I hired a hoy to
swing the balonce-wheel, and fifteen dollar."
"la thot all the money you had ?"
"No ; I've fifty more in my trunk at my
room."
"Well, if I'll let you off this time will you
keep clear of ihese scoundrels in the future?'
"I guess I will ; a burnt flea don't like hot
weather much."
"You moy go."
"Thank'ee, sir. Oh, Judge, whose treat
it f"
"You had belter keep clear ofoftreoling or
being treoted, if you don't wont to hove your
liberty materially lessoned. Vou moy leave
New
York Tribune.
or
of
of
I gone into ihe preserves, end reels with goth
beseech .ered sweets, and that blush about thy mouth
JT"They are exhibiting a bear-woman up
in town said ji ra. niep, as sne dropped like
ledge anchor into Mrs. Partington's big arm
choir. Mrs. Partington looked painfully at
Ike, who was pegging a top by the door, to the
danger of sundry jars of preserved pluma. "A
bare woman, indeed !" said she. "I wonder
what they will exhibit next? Though the
harreness isu'l the shame 'tis Ihe knowing
of it. There was Eve, now wasn't thought
any worse of, and moved in the first society,
till she lound she wss naked." "My dear
Mrs. P.," said Mrs. Slep, interrupting her,
"this is a woman that is thought to be, in some
rerpects, like the animal called a bear." "Oh,
ah," said the old lady, "well I don't know
which would be Ihe iniproperest to make a
public thing ol, for corruntured lasle is as bad
as visecraUd morals." This
was a profound
ri-mark, end Ihe old lody stood holding her box
i long after she had uttered it, looking abstract
, edly at a picture of Susannah and the elder
over the montlepiece. Ah ! that top, Ike, has
is of a deeper dye than shame could awaken
Boston Post.
of
;
of
in
;
to
to
fry One day, I saw a little fellow with his
arms about a little witch ofa girl, endeavoring,
if I interjireled Ihe manifestations right, to kiss
her.
' Tommy," said I, "what are you doing
there? "Nothing', thir,," spoke the bright
eyed little witch, "he wath tryin' to kith me,
that he wath, thur," and she eyed him keenly-
"Why, Lucy, what prompted him to act
ungentlrmoiily right here in school?" I asked,
anticipating some fun
"Oh I he hitched up here and thed he want
ed me to kith him, and I told him I wouldn't
kith such a amuthy boy as he ith, then he thed
he would do it, snd I told him I would tell
mat her if he did, but be thed be didn't care
thnap for the malher, and then he tried tokiih
me tho hard," an I the little thing sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me, as you said you
would?" I asked in a pleasant manner.
"Oh I" she replied with a navietle I did not
often see, "I didn't care much if he did kith
me, and thot let'im." Cin. Timet.
a
to
in
if
Goon Sound Advice. Never throw a alone
at any one until you have looked to see wheth
er there is a window behind, or you may have
to pay raiher dtar for your revenge.
Nevrr fix your own price, but leave it en
tirely to the liberality of the gentleman,
ihe chancea are you will gel a great deal more
by it.
Never sit next lo a young lady at dinner,
she only talks and doea not eara about eating.
Never quarrel with your wife, (if you have
got any) as you will only have to make up and
pay for the reconciliation in the shape of
season ticket at the opera, a trip to the springs,
a silk dress or a cashimere shawl.
Never mention you have received a legacy,
or some impertinent fellow will be asking you
to stand a dinner.
BTAn editor 'out West' of course as
waa going s courting one night, said be was
going to press.'?
Doesticks, Instigated by Damphool and the
Devil, Joins the Know-Nothings.
;
Knowing more about felling groceries than
about politics or religion, but as scared to
death by Damphnol and others of his kin and
name; told me iT 1 didn't Join the Know Noth
ings I'd burst up, be broiled on gridirons by
the Catholics; also, that the Irish burned na
tives, then fncaseed them as a choice foreign
lunch; didn't like to be burnt or fricaseed;
told them I'd join.
biarted at 11 o'clock at night, went down
town, then up town; met watchman; Dam
phool and he turned round three times, thtn
stood on one leg; Damphool then said "Ho-
rum scorum;" wulchman said, 'tlighcatalarum.
go ahead; 'Damphool said watchman was one
or em. Went through seven back Si reels,
then along cross street to near where we start
ed; divided down celler steps door; Damphool
whoo wbooed like an owl three times, knock
ed door nine times; homebody inside squalled
like a tomcat twice, knocked door three times.
door opened; dark as Egypt; tied handker-
chier over my eyes; another door opened, rat
tling ol Chains and strong smell of sulpher;
thought my lime hou come, and tried to pray,
coul. I'nt think of anything but "now I lay me
down to sleep." 1 hey led me in, threw me
down on oil fours, hit me nine cracks with a
puddle on unmentionable place, stuck two pins
in the same, Dialed like a billjguot, then gen
e-al caterwauling by the whole company.
liaised me up and look oil handkerchief, saw
large crowd with fool's caps on, big ears slick
ing up. Big picture hanging on the wall,
Christ crucified; underneath in large tellers
the words, "the work of Catholics;" thought
before 'twas the Jews, wasn't certain now;
Damphool 'ed me up to the man with bif.'ge;l
ears of any, behind a table; made me kneel
down; man with the biggest ears said, "You
solemnly swear" told him I'd swear to any
thing; don't know what I did swear, was so
scared. Man with big ears told me I wss a
member of the transient and honorable order ol
Know Nothings made him a bow, told him 1
a as much obleeged, and took a seat. Song by
the whole house:
"Possum up a gum stump.
Raccoon iu a liullcr," &c.
After the song, the man with the big ears of
fered up a short prayer, that "the land might
be delivered from the Pope, the devil, and from
furrinen in general," to which some sou!
amen, some bravo, and a few encore. Man
with big ears then stated that the business for
that night was to decide upon a candidate foi
Congress; said "they had nine hundred mem
bers, and they were nine hundred and twenty
seven candidates. JJuIn t know how it Mas,
didn't under!-tand it; but one thing he knowed.
i.e weru't going to give up his claim, wished
l.eniight be letotally exfluncucated if he did."
Several wi h smaller ears then said, "then.
was exactly their sentiments," but thought a
little delay wouldn't hurt; better count noset
first.
Meeting then broke up; went home and sent
lo an apothecary lor Jew David s Hebrew plos
ter; couldn't set down for three days; effects
ot paddle
Damphnol called to see me; talked politics;
told him 1 should vote Tor Stevens. He said
shouldn't; had sworn not to; told him I'd
quit; said if I did I'd lose my custom; K N's
wouldn't trade uuh me; called me "troi'or,
perjurer," and all that. Don't know what to
do; reckon I'll have lo stick to 'em.
The Editorial Profession in California.
Editorial profession in California is described
in a vein of extravagant humor by one of the
fraternity, lielemng to the dnily duties whicl
devolve upon the members of the Press. In
gives this order of proceed ids to be followed
by the editor :
First gets up in the morning at ten o'clock
a
so
dresses himself, puts on his hat, in which are
six or seven bullet holes, and goes to a restaurant
for breakfast. After breukfust a'.arts to
Ihe office to look over the papers, and discov
ers that he is called coward in one of them
a liar in another, and a puppy in another; he
smiles at the plea.sont prospects of having
something to do; fills nut and dispatches three
blank challenges, a ream or two which lit al
ways keeps on hand, ready printed to ssvt
lime; commences writing a leoiier, when m
the clock strikes 11, a l.itge man, with a cow
hide in one hand, a pistol in the other, and
bowie-kuife in his belt, walks in and asks
his name is; he answers by knock in
the intruder down two pair of stairs with ;
chair.
At twelve o'clock, finds that his challenges
have been accep.ed, and suddenly remembers
that he has a little otlair of that nature to set
lie at the beach that day at 3 o'clock; got-
out, kills his man, and then comes in and
dines on grizzly, starts for the office, and
while going there, gels mixed up in a street
row, and had the heel of his boot shot off b
-cideiit; laughs to tliiuk how beouiifullt
was done; arrives at his sanctum and finds
"infernal machine" upon Ihe table; knows
what il is, and merely pitches il out of the
window; writes an article on "moral reform,"
and then starts for the theater; is attacked
the corner of a dark alley by three men; kills
two of them, and takes the other !o the station
house. Reluming to the office at U o'clock
at night, knocks a man down who attempts
rob him; kills a dog with a paving stone; gets
run over with a cab, snd has the tail of
coot slitted with a t rust from a knife, and tw
bullet holes put through his beaver as he steps
within his own door; smiles at his escape
writes until two o'clock, and then turns
with Ihe hippy consciencjousness of having
two duels to ngri' me nexi nay.
Perfect Love.
a
as
for
Perfect love has this advantage in it, that
leaves the possessor of it nothing further
desire. There is no object, at least, in which
the soul finds absolute content ; for which
seeks to live, or dares to die. The heart has,
as it were, fil'ed up the moulds of the imagin
ation, the iruth of passion keeps peace with
and outvies Ihe extravagance of mere Ian
guage, There are no words so fine, no flat
tery so soft, that there is not a sentiment be
vond that il is impossible to express at
bottom of the heart where true love is. What
idle sounds the comrron phrases, 'adorable
creature,' 'divinity,' 'angel,' are I What
proud reflection ;t is to have a feeling answer
ing to an inese, rooie i in me nrrati, unauer
i . i. t., . i 1 1 .i
able, unutterable, to which all other feelings
are light ond voin. Perfect live reposes
the object of its nhoice like the halycon
the wave, and the air of heaven is around
a
he
A "America I oka. Some one has called
h trleeranh "the highway of thought."
This is a errror it is "the thread of converse
tion." .
' '
O-The Editor of the Rochester Democrat
g ves this receipe to kill flees on dogs : Soak
dog for five minutes in camphene, snd then
t fire to bun. The effect is instautaneous.
A Preacher turned Horse Thief.
On Saturday night, officer Fox. in company
with an olhcer Irom tvulamzoo, Michigan, ar
rested at Levi J. North a Circus, a man ol
clerical and dignified appearance, white era
vat, black coat, etc., on a charge of horse
stealing. It appears that this individual, who
calls himself the Rev. S. J. Taylor, and who
claims to be a preacher in good standing in
the Methodist church, hired a horse and bug
gy a few days since at Kalamazoo, to take a
short ride into the country to preach. After
proceeding about ten miles, he drove the bug
gy into a ditch, and broke off one or its wheels,
and then took off the harness from the horse,
filled a bag with prairie hoy to answer for a
saddle, and mounting his steed, proceeded on
his way toward Chicago. While gofirg hrd'
a tamarack swamp some distance below the
city, he nccosted a company of men who were
amusing themselves in various ways, and ri
ding up to them, exclaimed in a loud and na
sal twang:
"My fellow travelers to Eternity ! you no
doubt are surprised to see a Minister of the
gospel in this unhappy plight, bestriding a steed
wiihout a saddle, ah, and with nothing better
than a blind bridle wherewitb to guide his
steps, ah; but oh my hearers, behold in me a
representative of the true Church, whioli de
spises pride, pomp and circumstances, and
sends forth its servants, like John the Bablist,
to cry aloud and spare not, ah, and to preach
n the wilderness to eat locusts and wild ho
ney, ond to be despised r.nd tormented of men,
ah I Yes, my brethren, in me bihold o man
who cores not for the lusts of the flesh snd the
devil, ah, and who is now on his way to Chi
cago. ah, to preach, and worn and to affright
thai second uomorrah, and lo fortell lo its in
habitants the fearful doom which owails it,
ah. Therefore I beseech you. as inanv as are
here presens, to tell me the rond to thot citv
of the ploin, ah, that I may rapiJly reach it,
and shake off the dust of my feet against il."
1 lie men directed the preacher how lo to,
and he left them, and arrived here on Saiur
day, in the meantime, however, selling his
horse and pocketing the proceeds. On .Satur
day night, he visited the circus, ond os we
hove said while enjoying the sports of the ring,
was arrested and taken to the watch-house.
On exomining his person o quantity of sermon
texts, skeletons ol discourses, etc., were found
upon him, and he offered to preach lo the of
ncers, upon any theme they might select
which offer was declined. He was sent back
to Kalamazoo, yesterday morning, in custodv
Chicago Tribune, Sept. 4.
An American in Sebastopol.
I
An American captain m the Crimea. Juh
22, writes to the Newark AJt niter that the
allies number 300,000 men. He adds:
"The l wo armies have advanced their trench
es to within fifty yards of each other, and
make dreadful havoc. 1 could see the Hus-!
sians throw shellD from the Hedan and Mala
koff Towers directly into the English
French trenches, and it is a melancholy sight
to see the puor ftllows taken out of them
knocked to pieces.
"I was talking with an officer who has been
in the Crimea throughout the campaign, ond
he was of the opinion that it would'nut
taken this year. He said that the Russian
lortifications were the best engineering
ever knew. From on elevated position where
you can see the whole camp it is a most mag
nificent sight. I had a good view of Sebasto
pol and oil the warships in the harbor.
"There is a greot deal of sickness here.
have lost two of my crew, and the most
thtm are now sick. The sail through the
.Mediterranean, the Greek Islands, the Dar
danelles and the Bosphorus is very pleasant.
The scenery is grand."
The Back Out at Ashland.
a
if
Both parties held meetings at Ashland,
last Saturday. Gov. Medill and Hon. Dave
Todd wtrt there on the part of the Democracy,
and .Messrs. Chase and Campbell oil the part
the Know-Nothings. Previous to Ihe arrival
f the speakers, the Know Nothings were ver
anxious for a debate, but after tl.eir arrival,
:hey were as mum ss mice. But the Deino
cruts were not willing lo give the matler up
that way, and sent a formal challenge fur a de
bate to Chase and Campbell, which was de
clined! and the parties occupied different
stands. Af'er all the boasting and bragging
lha Know Nothing papers about the triumphs
achieved by Mr. Chase at Cawllton, we .sup
pose they will use oil their inventive :enious
to find some proper excuse for this refusal
go into another discussion before a much larger
crowd ! The Democracy of Ashland arc in ex
cellent spirits, and have nominated a strong
ticket for legislative and county officers,
cannot fuil to carry that county by a handsome
majority, sir. Lhase loses ground by
Sandusky Mirror.
Sir John Franklin.
on
to
his
in,
Lady Franklin has addressed a letter to
chairman of the Arctic Committee, urging
claims of her late husband to some portion
the reward offered for the discover) ofa uorlh
west passage. She says:
"When it is remembered that these brave
and unfortunate men, afler years of intense
sufft-iing and privation, were found dead
starva.ion upon a spot which they could
not reached without having first solved
geogrnpical problem which was the object
aim of oil these painful efforts; and whei it
also remembered that they are beyond
reach of their country's rewards, yuu will
1 think, refuse them the acknowledgment
is clue to their memory."
it
to
it
the
a
on
on
it.
fj-The man who consults domestic
and the morals of his jrown up boys, ahould
be careful and not hits young and good
ing servant girls. Human nature isn't harmed
IT?jirls, brware of transient young
mver suffer the address ofa stranger, recol
lect one good steady farmer's boy or indusni
oui mechanic is worth more than ail the float
ing trash of tin world; the allurements
human dandy jack with a gold chain obout
neck, a walking stick in his paw, some honest
tailor's coal on his back, and a brainless
though fancy skull can never u.ake up the
of a kind father's home a good mother's
counsel, and the society of brothers and sisters,
llmr affection lasts, while that of such
young man is lost in the, wane of the honey-m-ion.
'Tis true.
- 1 jfAn old-fashioned naval captain stood
to K0 through a country dance with a very
' y . .... . .....
la-ly, ho was shocked to observe that
huge and worn hands were not covered accor
ding to etiquette. "Captain," said his
partner, "you are perhaps not aware sir,
you have not got your gloves on." "Oh,
mind, ma'am," answered the commander,
"never mind; 1 can wash my hands
- we've done."
by being looked aiter.
Rates of Advertising.
One squire for less) 3 insertions, 11:00
" Esch additional insertion, 26
" " Three rnohtbt; .... 3:00
" Six months 4:00
" " Twelve months. ... 8:00
One fourth of a column per year, . - 16:00
hair : . 18:00
" column "... 30:00
All over a square chsrged as two squarei.
ITAdveriisementa inserted till forbid at
the expense of the advertiser.XJ
JOB WORK
Executed at this office with neatness end d
"patch, at the lowest possible rates.
Gen. Cass on Know Nothingism.
The veteran chitr slid distinguished stafeS--man,
Gen. Cars, hos been compelled to pub.
lish in his own defence, a fetter on the sub"
ject of Know Nothingism. Gen. Houston, m
his recent avowal of membership in the order
of intolerants, uses these words: "Gen.Cas
has approved the plotform of the American
order, as proclaimed to tbe world by the Con
vention at Philadelphia."
Gen. Cuss calls attention to the views pre
viously expressed by him on the subject and
minus ii strange trial be should have been sup
posed by any one to endorse the plotform of
the new faction. He approves of that part of
it which says Congress ought not to legislate
upon slavery in the territories, to that ex
tent, no further, do the principles of the party
meet his approbation. M'e regret th .t we
have not room for the entire letter, but its
concluding observations upon the position of
the Deinocrslic party, ot the present crisis, are
so sound, so wise and so practical, that tbey
mustcairy conviction to the minds of every
reauer. e inereiore call especial attention
to the following remarks of Gen ass:
1 have never know n the time when the de
mocratic party wos colled upon by higher con
siderations lo adhere faithfully ond zealously
10 men organization and their principles, than
wiey are ui in is uny. uur con Iteration is
passing through the most severe tiial il has yet
undergone. Unceasing t fforis are taaVViil to
excite hostile and sectional feelings against
wnir-n we were prophetically warned by the
the Father of his country; and if these are
successful the days of the Constitution are
numbered. The continued assaults upon the
south, upon its character, i's constitutional
righis, and its institutions, and ihe systematic
perseverence, nnd the bilti r spirit with which
these are pursued, while they warn the demo
cratic party of the danger, should also incite
il to united ond vigorous action. They wart
it too, that the time has c me when all other
d ff.-reuces which may hove divi ed it should
give way to the duty of defending the consti
tution, ond when that great parly, coeval with
the government, should be united as one man
fur the accomplishment of ihe work to which
it is now called, and before it is too late. It
is the Americon party, lor it has neither sec
tional prejudices nor sectional preferences,
and its care and itseffctt-' extend wherever the
constitution of i s country extends, snd with
equal regard to the rights and interests of all.
I believe the fate of ihis great republic is now
in its bonds, End, so believing, earnestly
hope that its action will Le fiim, phrtnpt and
united, yielding not ono hair's breadth of its
time-honored principl-s, ami resisting to the
lust the dangerous efforts with which we are
menaced; ond if so, the vict ry of the consti
tution, l doubt not, will Le achieved.
1 am, sir, respectfully,
Your obt. scrvt.,
LEWIS CASS.
be
he
I
of
on
ol
in
ITA very intelligent Irishman tells the fol
lowing incident of his first experience in
America. I came to Ihiscountry several years
ago, arid as "som as I arrived hired out to a
gentleman who formed n few acres. Ho
si owed me over the premises, the stable, and
where Ihe corn, hoy, oats &c, were kept
and then sent nie in to get my supper. After
supper he said lo me: "James you feed the
cow, and give her corn in the ear." I went
on' and walked about thinking, "whst Could
hemeon? Had I understood l.iui?" I scratch
ed my head, then resolved I would Inquire
again; so I went into the library where my
rmsf'r was writing vtry busily, and be oil'
swered wiihout looking up, "I thought I told
you lo give Ihe cow some com in the ear." I
went out more puzzled than ever. What sort
ol on animol must this Yankee cow be? I ex
amined her mouth and ears. The leeth were
good, nml the ears like those kiue in the old
country. Dripping with sweat, I entered my
master's presence once more. "Pleare, sir,
yiu bid me give Ihe row come corn in the ear,
didn't you mean in the mtiuthl" He looked'
.il me a moml-nl, and ihen burst into such a
Convul.-ion of laughter, I made for the stable a
fast as toy feet could carry me, thinking thai
I was in the service of a crazy mail.
peace
ol
lo
the
the
of
of
have
thai
and
is
the
not,
that
men
ofa
his
loss
a
up
fine
his
fair
that
nev
er when
0"A modest young gentleman at a dinner
party put the following conundrum :
"Why are most people ho eat ttrkies like
bol.ies ?"
No reply. The mode.' t man blushed, rrnd
would have locked out, Irut finally gave the
rea-on :
"Because they are fond of the breast."
Twomidd'le-sged lodies fiinted, the remains
of the young man were carried out by the c'Or
oner, and three married ladies clapped their
hsndketctretfe to their mouths in cdnVuIsidns
toothache, of course.
("A peddler calling on an old lady to dis
pose of some goods, inquired of her if tire
could tell him of any road that no peddler bod
ever trovele T
!Yes," said she, "I know of one, and onlt
one, which no peddler has ever traveled, (the
peddler's countenance brightened,) and that's
ihe road to heaven."
D"".Ah," said old Mrs. Doosenbury, "lam
ing is a great thing, I've often felt the want of
it. Why, would you believe it, I'm now sixty
years old, and only know the names of three
months in the year, and them's spring, fall
and autumn; I larnt the names of them when
was a leelle bit ofa gal."
What IIk Saw Mr' Brooks lately made a
balloon ascension from Ruck ford, in this State.
Upon his descent a fiiend inquired what he
saw beneath during bis elevation above the
earth.
"Nothing," replied the aeronaut, "nothing
but -corn.
ITln glancing over a paper, we met Mrifh
the follow ingqunlolior; in two places; "Nero
riddled when Rome was burning."
Now, suppose he did. Nero knew very
well that he couldn't pot it out, and he just
thought he would let ber rip.
IT"Charles," said a young lady to her lov
er, "there is nothing interesting in the Taper
to-day, is there?"
"No, love, but I hope tliere will one day,
when we shal both be interested." The lady
blushed assent.
frrMr. Jones, don't you think that mar
riage is a means of grace?" "Certainly, any
thing is a means of grace that breaks up pride
and leads to repentance." Scene closes with
a broom handle.
"Did yon know,' said a cunning Yankee to
a Jew, "that they bang Jews and Jackasses
together in Portland ?' 'Indeed t then it is
well that you end I ere not there,' returned
the Jew.

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