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A LOVE SONG.
BY T. P. HEALEY
Jlli ! Mary will thou love rue well,
Thus well, ninl well forever,
.Nor let tho alien worlds false spell,
A lure so sweet-linked sever i
M)li. answer yes, with sweetest vow,
ThuH nestling: ne.ir pud nearer;
51'or e'en Hits bliss to pain would grow,
Could Tiuiu not nukci it Ue.ircr.
JVnd. Mary, wilt thou love mc e'er?
And though the rest betray ine,
SShnll "ne fond voico still gnotli my care,
Aud still this fond arm stay mu ?
"Oh, toll me yes, with kindest vow,
Thus nestling; near mid nearer;
'.For e'en thisbliss to pain would grow,
Could time not imko it dearer.
'And, nh ! as in thine eyes I peer.
Far down their bluu depths sounding,
How cloud mine own with darkest fear,
As still this quest propounding !
Thi-n answer yus with surest tow,
Thus neitliii'..' near and nearer;
For even this bliss to pain would grow,
bid Time not make it dearer.
A RICH STORY.
A correspondent of ihe N. Y. Spirit it of the
Times tells the following stoij of mi individu
1 1 whom he calls Jack Damphule.
Jack, one worm day, full in love; he had
just graduated nt col'cge, nud began to think
lie in it si seek the ladles society; l.e was net
ting to be o man and ii was manly to have a
penchant. So Jack fell in love with the
sweetest, liveliest and nios. hoydciiish girl in
the square; but how to tell his love there was
the nib I He had heard a great deal of the
"language of the eyes,'' and he accordingly
tiied Hint, but when l.e looked particularly
hard nt the windov where Miss Kuiily was in
the habit of silling, some person on lh olhet
side of the street w.,uld invariably bow to him,
thinking that he was endeavoring to catch
their eyes. He has despised expressive eyes
At length Jack ob'pined an iiitrnducliou
through his sister, and with her he called sev
tral times, but was obliged to leave the cily
for season, nud ns each interview only in
creased liia ardor, he deltrmiiied on going il
alone. Long before the In. lit fixed upuii by
custom fur au evening isil, he found hiinsell
arrayed in his best. Blue, coat, meta I buttons
black cussimere pants, (said pants being a lit
tle tighter than the skin) and a spotless veil.
The journals of the duy state, as an item of in
telligence, that Hie thermometer "ranged Irom
75'to 80 degrees. Jack swears it wasa hundred.
As the hour gradually drew near, Jack found
Courage and perspiration oozing out together;
oud he almost determined to pull off ami Slav
at home, lie concluded, however, he would
take a walk past the house and see how he
felt. By the lime he reached the mansion he
lirmly determined- -not to go in, but on cast
ing his eyes towards the windows and per
ceiving no signs of lifr, he thought it was pro
bable that no one was at home, and tiuce he
had proceeded so far, he would p.oceed furth
er and leave his card.
Nu sooner determined than concluded. In
reckless moment he pulled the bell, the
darned tiling needn't make such a cussed noise.
The door was opened as if by magic, and the
servant g'ul.polilely asked him in; Miss Emily
was alone in the parlor, and would be delight
ed to sec linn. Lord! here was a fix ! Go in
a dark parlor with a pretty girl a I! alone, Ii
was loo late to retreat; the girl had closed the
front door and was pointing into the parlor
where Miss Kmily won. Being perfectly con
vi need thai no choice was left him, into the
dark room he walked, or slided. All was per
fect chaos to his eyes for a moTient, but only
a moment; from .the deepest gloom came on
angelic voice bidding him 'welcome and draw
i.enr.' To obey the order was but the work
of a moment us he supposed, but he little
dreamed of the obstacle late had thrown in
his way. He knew that the stream of love
imil many ripples, but full grown snags enter
ed not into his head.
Judge then of his astonishment on being
tripped up almost nt the fair one's feet, by
footstool with plethoric legs which C mice or
a careless servant had placed exactly on his
mad to happiness. Over it he went, and as
. the tsilor had not allowed for au extra ten
sion f the muscles or sinews, he not only
had I fall hut also a coin on ml fracture 01
the black pants aforesaid ; said iractuie ex
tended all across that point which comes in
Closest contact with 'ho chair.
Ilavwig pickcu himself up as carefully as
circumstances would allow, tlx suppressed
laugh of Miss Emily not se'.'ing him forward
any, he at last succeeded in reaching a chair,
and druwing his coal tail forward to prevent
n disagreeable exposure, sot himself down
with as much grace os a bear would if required
lo dance on needles.
The young lady was almost sufTocoted with
laughter at the sad misfortune of the bashful
love, felt truly suorry for him, nud UEed all
tier powers of fascination lo drive il from his
mind, and eventually succeeded so' far as lo
induce him to muke a remark. On this rock
Just at this moment alio discovered she hn
lost her handkerchief. What had become of
it f She wos sure she had it when she came
in. Il must certainly be somewhere about.
tlsven't you gol it under you, Mr. painphul
Jack was sure he had not, but poor Jack,
in venturing au answer, could not possibly
get along without taisiug up his hands, and of
course he must drop his iat tail. In li.s aux
in! y to recover the missing wiper, he even
ventured to incline his body so ns to get
gl nee upon the floor. As he did so the True
tuie opened, aud behold there lay, as the lady
supposed her property.
It was the work of n moment to catch hold
of the corner and exclaim :
Here it is sir, you needn't trouble yourself
about it. Just rise a little ; it is under you.
At the same time she gave it n long hard pull.
Alas I the but was told ; no escape nolh-
sliort'of a special interposition of Piovideuce
could save Ins shirt, uui ' n a ' snouiu ne uor
Another and another slrorger pull, show
ing on the part of the girl a praiseworthy de
termination to obtain the lost dry gcods, ac
companied the rrOJiest. "Get up sir, you ore
sitting on it,' determined him and in the
agony of tho moment, grabbing with both
hands t fast disappearing piece of linen which
encircled, his neck, be exclaimed j - "For
God'nake Miss Emily, leaoemy tlirt collar!'
B7 L. 0. GOULD.
"Fearless and Free"
$l,5Cper Annum in Advance.
EATON, PREBLE COUNTY, O.J)EC. 27, 1355.
Vol. 12, No. 28.
IIP H ffiW
A MOTHER DEAD.
Dkatii comes an unsought guest In every
board, and at his Spectral bidding s mie beloved
one g'tes forth lo his mysterious home. Time
aud 1'hyloiophy may teach resignation unto
hearts made desolate by his coining; but they
can never fill the vacancy therein, when she
that was our Mulher, no lunger casts a halo
about our darkened hearth.
A Mother's place so loved, so worsbipped--
once empty, must be forever so; a breast once
panged by a Mother s death, liu medicine can
reach with healing.
The bitterest truth in lib; is that we learn
in agony, arid bathe with tears when our first,
our last, perchance our only friend, huth paled
away in the anxious arms of Mercy's purest
angel'. The heavy head then falls upon the
crushed bosom, and hone and Heaven stem to
hove abandoned us indeed. The daik, wild
storm gnthersabout our f'j;uie; and the baleful
lightning depicts our desolation. Up iu:o the
troubled sky wegnze for a sign of approaching
calm, and only the angry thunder ausweis unto
our unspoken prayers.
Years pass wres'ling with our passions and
expectations, and bending many lifeless to the
ground; and yet the love of her, our sainted
.Mother, dwelleth in our heart, firm and faith
ful as of yore; aud our thoughts, in silence and
solitude, still cluster about her image, enshrin
ed in the holiest sanctuary of our soul.
No mind however sacred, no heart however
hardened, can forget the gentle being whose
suffering begot its life. Amid all the vice and
vexation and disappointment and despondence
of the World, a mother's memory must lu ns
Bethlehem's star, guiding to the source oran
unending love, and reminding ol a belter state.
A Mother is truly our guardian spirit upon
Earth. Her goodness shields and protects; she
walks with our infancy, our youth and maimer
age, - ever sheltering us with her absorbing
earnest love, and expiating our manv sins with
her blessed prayers. In pain and sickness and
sorrow she always brings the balm of her ol-
fection; ond hei labors and her cares defend
us when heedless of ourselves.
Through her we learn the duties that we
owe; through her they become grateful todii
charge. Through the radiance of her teach
ing the sombre features of this life lose hull
their darkness, and the weakness of our kind
bespeaks aid sud charity. Her lessons all
fraught with love, still teem with wisdom, and
instruct us in the simple wavs of virtue. She
docs all for us : self sacrificing ami self-de
ninl for our sake are her purest joy, though
her reward cannot be l.cie.
And w hen our Mother with all her burthen
of love, her angelic influence, her saintly care,
ceases her beauteous life, how much we lose
of home, of happiness, of Heaven, no one can
reckon : for our Mother was none but ours.
ami we only can known how holy she was.
how sacred her memory must ever be.
Ill is the lot of him bereft of her, his first
and dearest parent, ond mush denied that
might have made him belter geul.ei, truer to
himself. His days are, and must be, lonely
and often sad; and "is heart, thougbsurround-
ed by other and many loves, be ever yearning
for her whose soul was counterpart of his
whose life was but an elder, a purer portion
ol Ins own.
Alas, ye orphan ones, wc can pity ve, can
image your joyous dream reunions with her,
yoursilent longings for her love, your unseen
lears for her comlorl, these and many more
car, we imsee, only too iruly, by our own !
Sorrowful must we ever be for our Mother
gone, and our human heart forever oche; but
may we not borrow consolation from the
thought that our loss is Heuvei's gain ; that
surely one angel watches over us, erasing with
graltful lears t e records of our sin, and mak
i rig easy our path to tier, wi'h blessed and with
blessing prayers I Cm. I unci.
The Mirror of Fashion is after 1I13 wearers
ofshswls w-ith o sharp stick.
Let tho poor wittling argue all they can,
Khan Is may beet rue a lady, not a man.
The customer who calls at a tailor's slore lo
replenish his woidrobe is too apt lo think that
all he lays cut, beyond sufficient to keep his
body comfortable, is so much wasted or thrown
away. He will lake his wife to Slcwnrl's or
litck'x, and buy her a shawl worth seven hun
dred dollars, and other dresses to coriespond,
and very probably will buy a plain Suit of
clothes for hinttelf, and be monkey himself, by
throwing a shawl over them, and in this con
lemptous plight show himself beside Ins ele
gant wife in most ludicrous contrast. For the
gamins de Paris, with gloztd caps, lo odopt
the shepard's maud, rnd thus partly imitate
the peasantry of Scotland, there may be lound
some excuse, but for a full grown republican
to so far invade the ri; o s of women, as to
emasculate himsel. in appearance by wearing
a shawl, we can find no just reason or cause
for extenuation. They should be u recognized
by men, and pointed nt by boys as noodles;
for in this age of progress in commerce oud
arts, whatever checks their onward tendency,
should be rebuked and put down U a palpa
ble manifestation of popular displeasure. If
we are not to r.turn lo the days of Diogenes,
nor adopt the custom of the Scottish peasantry,
of tunic, cap, bare legs and shawl, then for the
sake of sacred taste, and personal manliness,
doff the Miawl from your shoulders, aud use it
merely in traveling, only lu keep Cumfoiluble
the nether extremities.
A man who has no enemies is seldom worth
anything. Ho is made of that kind of mate
rial, which is so easily worked that every one
tries o hand upon it. A sterling character
ami w ho speaks for himself and speaks what
he thinks is always sine to have enemies.
They are aa necessary to him as fresh air.
They keep him alive and active. A celebra
ted person, who was sjrrounded by enemies
used lo say : "Tiny ore Ihe sparks, which, if
oti do not blow Ihein, go out of themselves."
Let this be your feeling while endeavoring lo
live down the scandal of those who are bitter
against you. If you stop to dispute, you do
but what they desiie, and open the way for
more ebtise. J.et t lie poor fellows talk.
There will be a re-action, if you do but per
form your duly, and hundreds who were once
alienated from you will flock lo you and ac
knowledge thoir error.
QT"I am I by father's spirit," os the bottle
of whiskey said to the boy, when he found it
hid in the woodpile, and didn't know what it
ITT An editor n little farthei West, has be
come so hollow from depending upon thelprint
ing business alone for bread," that he proposes
lo sell himself for a stove pipe.
JTBy a recent vole of Ihe priprietors, re
main pedestrians are allowed to pass the Au
gusto toll bridge free of charge. The down
eautcrs don't believe in tolling the belles.
IT'S AN EASY THING.
"It's nn easy thing," says the sailor to the
carpenter, "to have nothing lo do but just
fib that plane of yours along a board all day."
Let the sailor try it and aa easy as it looks,
"he'll soon find out 'hat he bos not got the
knack to make it so very easy.
"It's an tasy thing," soys the farmer io the
sailor, "to sit still on board that vessel and
let the wind blow you along " Let the far
mer try it, and l.e'll find night-watches, trick
at the helm, taking in and making roil, not
so very easy, to say nothing of gales of wind,
lee shores, stowing cargo, breaking out, and
worst of all shovelling wheat in a hold, or
staggering over a peek load of frozen hoes in
a squall at night, with all their legs sticking
up just where they were not expecled, anil
cutting shins ond breeches just where you
don't like it pretty much, and that is about
It is so with almost everything. No man
feels the difficulties of another's occupation
until he tries it. Lawyer and doctor, judge
and jury, former and sailor, all seem .to have
easy work to their neighbors, until the said
neighbors try on the j.ib, and then give it up.
but there is one kind ol work that people
don't give up not as easy on the first trial,
It's an easy thine," saysMr.Most everybody,
to edit a paper, just lo sit down and write
little now and then when you feci inclined
and when you don't why just cut out from the
new paper o little here and a little there to
ill up, and then it's so pleasant, too, to have
no:hiug to do but just to tumble over so many
papers that you get for nothing, rand that eve
ry one else has to pay lor.'
To say nothing of the assumption in the lat
ter part of the sentence, that everybody has to
pay lor their papers, which is unfortunately
rather wide of the mark, the easy part ol 11. e
business is yet to be discovered by those who
have fairly tride the operation.
h, but,' says Mr. Everybody else, "I have
tried it fairly. 1 used to wide a great deal
for the 'railroad of republicanism, and Cotu
nict of Freedom,' published at Lie Hows Falls,
Wiudup county. I used lo write a column or
so almost every week, and point out lots of
good things to extract more, indeed, than the
editot ever g t in. I know all about it."
Indeed I But did you evertr it alone !
Did you ever edit a paper foi three or foui
months, select and reject, write and refuse,
measure what you could put in, think what
you could not reject, do things (hot you knew
would.be unpleasant lo i,iu..y of your subscri
bers but that you believe ought to be done,
oud refuse lo do what they wanted and you
thought ought not to be done. No indeed.
There is many a man who thinks he knows
just Iowa paper ought to be edited, could
give jut the ouvice wonle', but who would
in one little week, ay ere his pen's nib wos
old, find out that there were troubles in the
editorial life that he should never havedteampt
No men have lo be more careful' than ed
itors. All their woids ore weighed, and it
is rit lit they should be and a slip on their
part is never to be forgiven. Men who are de
nouncing their political enemies in the gross
est Inngiiage, will not forgive an editor for
even hinting that their friends ore not perfect.
They can repeat jokes ogainst their enemies,
but n juke at their friends makes them indig
nant at the grass abuse of the press. The
men most violent in their abuse of others, most
cureless of what severe or unfounded things
they assert, aie always the most ready to be
bitterly indignant when a word is said ogainst
them, their principles or their motives. Even
generalities cannot pass with them. They
insist that they knew what Ihe editor meant,
and will not bear such abuse.
It is not an easy thing to edit a paper, lu
it is an easy thing, oud one of the easiest in
the world to abuse a paper-tell how outra
geously wrong it is, decry it in every way,
and still easier lo say where it is wrong when
you are determined it must always be wrong.
except when it agrees w ith you.
Coxsolino. Somebody has the politeness'. lo
inform his follow men us follows :
You'll bo foi gotten, as old debts
liy persons who aru used to borrow;
Forgotten, us tho sun that sets,
When shines a new one on the morrow;
Forgot l en. like the luscious peach
That blessed tho school-boi List September,
Forjotten liko a maiden speech.
Which all men praise, but none remember.
A Remarkable Man.
A correspondent of the Kentucky Slates
man gives the follow ing account of on old
citizen of Pulaski county, named Elijah Deny
who is perhaps the oldest man in Kentucky.
He was one hundred ond eighteen years of ore
en the 10th of .September, ond is os active as
any man of forty. He woiks daily upon a
farm, and throughout his whole life he has
been an early riser, lie informed the wri'er
that he had never drank but one cup of coffee
nnd that was in Ihe year 1818. He served
seven years in the war of the Itevolulion, ond
was also wounded at the seige of Charleston;
he was also at the seige of Savannah and the
battle of Eutaw Springs; he was also present
at the battle of Camden, King's Mountain,
and Monk's Corner. He served under Col.
Horry and Col. Marion, ond was an eye-wit
ness of the sufleiings and deoth of Col. Isaac
llayne, an early victim of the Revolution.
He is sprightly and active, and would be taken
at any timo to le a man of middle age. He
is a strict member of the Baptist church, and
rides six miles lo every meeting of his church.
He has four suns snd five daughters, ofl liv
ing, the oldest being now in his seveniy
eighl.and Ihe yo.ipgesl in his fifty-first.
Such is a brief sketch of this oged soldiei
ond republican, who is perhaps the only sur
viving soldier of Fiaticis Marion, Sumner and
A Gi.kasi op Staruoiit. Surlii'lit is a
dreadful boy for Connundrums, and walks in
on us every now nnd then, with s me such
query as the following, which he generally
soya, has just been asked him at the door, by
a middle aged gentleman with blue specs.
"What is Ihe difference between a colored
sexton nnd a knitting needle ?"
We never attempt lo answer his interroga
tories, and he burst out in some astounding
solution in this wire:
"Because one is a bipger needle, and the
other a iv gger Ueatlu !"
rjTChrislion pilgiim, ail thou beoring with
in thy breosl a heart well nigh bursting with
rief at the loss of son. e cherished one? Dolh
the hand of Ihe Lord seem htavyupen thee,
thick uurkness lound about him, so that thou
canst noi see the way wherein he is leading
thee I Yet a little longer, a lew more trials,
and thou wilt not only tee, but rejoice with
UTThere is man down tost who is such
an odfjeale ol Veaet, that he will not have a
clock iu his house because il ttrikei.
An Arkansas Legislature.
A member elect of the lower chamber of
the Legislature of Arkansas, was persuaded
by some wags in hH neighborhood, that it lie
did not reach the Slate House at ten o'clock
on the day ol nssemunng he conld r.ot o
sworn, and would lose his sejt. He immedi
ately mounted w ith hunting frock rifle and
bow ie knife, and spurred till he got lo the
door of the capital, where he hitched his nag.
A crowd were in the chamber of the lower
house, on the grornd floor, walking about
with their hats on, and smoking cigars.
Those he passed, ran up stairs into the Senate
Chamber, set his rifle against the wall, and
'Strangers, wbors Ihe man that swars me
in?' at the same time taking out his credential.
' tt oik this way,' said the Clerk, who was
at the moment igniting a real I'liuCipe, aud
he was swore without inquiry.
When the teller came to count noses he
found that there was one Senator too many
present. The mistake was soon discovered,
and the huntrman was infoirred that he did
not belong there.
'Feol icho! with your corn bread!' ho roared,
'you can't flunk this child, no how you can fix
it-I'm elected io this here Legislature, and
I'l! go ogin oil banks oud eternal improve
ments, and if there's any of you oratory gentle
men wants to get skinned, jest say the word,
and I'll liuhtupon you like a nigger on a wood-
chuck. My constituents sent me here and if
you want to floor this two legged animal, hop
on, jest as soon os you like, for though I'm
ftom the back country, I'm a little smarter
than any other quadruped you con luru out of
'After this admirable harangue, he put his
bowie knife between his teelh, and took up
his rifle, with 'Lome here, old buke, stand by
me!' at the same lime pointing it at the chair
man, who, however, had seen such people be
fore. After some expostulation, the man was
pi-rsuaded that lit belonged lo ihe low r cham
ber, upon which he sheathed his knife, fl u iter
his gun on his shoulder, and with o protouud
congee, remarked, 'Ountlemen, l beg your
pardon. Liu I if 1 didn't think that loiccr room
was a groggcry, may 1 be shut.'
Dan Murble chanced to be present at a re
ception of n Inrge nnd misc?liimroua party of
for.orn-loomng returned .Mexican volunteers
in UiilTalo, aud took a lively interest in the
"You served in the campaign, eh?" says
Dan addressing two 'sorry' looking iudivdiuols
in a cottier ol I lie room.
"Yes, sit, we did."
"Ah!" says Dan, "in whit engagements
were you ?" addressing another parly of very
care-worn looking boys.
"Moleener del Hays," was the response.
"Had a tough time of it?"
"Cal'lete we had rather," was the rc
"What company, or regiment, did you serve
in V continued Dan, drifting oround the room
and addressing another person.
"JJew otk Kege-nieul, Company u,
"And you V
"I served in the Pennsilwany Regetnint,
Company K. '
Just then uan espied a poor leitow sia.King
down the room, dragging a 'Uod-lorsnkcri
looking mus'itet, and the possessor looked, to
perfection, the remnants of a misspent life
lean, lonenid and cadaverous altogether aw
ful I Willi a grin mntilltug his face, soys
"Look a'here, old fellow, what regiment
did you belong to, for the Lord s sake I"
"Whtt regiment? The Dei-tn-ttrry
We always look upon our houses as mere
tempoary lodgings. We are always hoping
cet larger and finer ones, or are forced some
wav to live where wc do not choose, and in
continual expectation of chonging our place
of abode. In the present slate ol society,
this is in a great measure unavoidable, it be
comes our dulv to check Ihe impulse. '
It is rarely a subject for serious thought,
whether it might not be belter for ninny of us,
if, attaining a certain position in in?, we lie
lermined, with God's permission, lo choose
house in which to die a home not to be in
creased by adding stone lo stone and field
field, but which being enough for all our
wishes at that period, we should be resolved
to be satisfied with forever. Consider this
and olio, whether we ouhl not to be more
the habit of seeking honor for our descend
ants than our ancestors: thinking it belter
be nobly lemembered than nobly born: and
striving to live that our son's sons, for ages
come, nncht still lead their children revcren
t inlly to the doors of which we have been car
ried to the grave, saying, "Look, tins was his
house; this was his chamber." Raskin.
The ladies ore responsible for having wou nd
ed a young gentleman's feelings very much
Mr. Thackeray's lecture on evening or two
ago. A young gentleman the most modest
man of his sex ond no less polite than mod
est, wos silting in a pew rather remote from
the light. A lady sat next lo him. Looking
down on the floor during a short pause in the
lecture, he espied what he thought was a lady's
handkerchief, the edge just visible, and the
rest covered by her dress. Thinking his pew
mate had dropped it, be gallantly whispered,
"I'm afraid you have drypped your handker
chief madam," and before she could reply,
proceeded to pick it up. Horror 1 lie had
seized the petti unutte ableS, and did not
discover his mistake until the top of a gniter
boot stared him in the face, and the faint
sound of a laugh just nipped iu the bud by the
application of a handkerchief, warned him
his mistake, l'hanzy his pheehngs.
Moral. Don't attempt to pick up anything
with lace lo it before you are sure of its nature.
53-A11 Irish gentleman being visited by
friend of his, was found n good deal milled;
and, being asked the reason of i1, said he had
lost a new pair of black silk slockings out
his room, w hich cost him eighteen shillings,
but that he hoped he should get them again,
for he ordered them to be cried, and offered
half crown reward. His friend observed that
the reward was too little for such volunble
stockings. "I'ho," said the Irishman, "1 or
dered the crier lo say they were worsted."
flXAn Irishman was indulging in the very
intellectual occupation of lucking eggs and
leaning n uewppnper. oy auiuu iiiiseiiauue
to holt n live chicken. The poor
bird chirruped as it went down his thro I, and
he very coolly observed : "Be.the powers
young friend, you spoke too late."
JTSally .'ones says when she was in love
she felt as if she was in a tunnel, with a traiu
of cars coming both woys.
A Smart Horse Thief.
At the encampment of a body of flrilish
troops in Ihe province of IJaiebore, in the East
Indies, one of the officers had a horse stolen,
but the thief missing Ihe rond before be gol out
of sight of the tents, was detected and brought
The gentleman, highly plen'ed at recovering
his horse, and much surprised at the dexterity
of the fellow who carried him from the midst
of six or seven files of crooins, w as more inclin
ed to admire his address and expertness than
to punish him.
Next moroningbis resenlnicnt having entire
ly subsided, he yielded to his curiosity, lie
ordered the fellow, therefore, to be brought
bufore him, and enquired by what contrivance
tle had effected hia purpose.
The fellow replied he could not well tell
h is honor, but il he pleased he would show
"Well, then," says the officer "since you
are so bad at desciiplion, we will see how you
Now, sir, pray lake notice. This is Ihe
way I crawled over the grooms, the next
thing won to loosen the ropes behind, whi"h I
did thus. I then clapped a halter observe,
sir, if you please, over his neck, thus."
"Admirably clever, byJove!" cries theoffi
ccr, laughing and rubbing his hands.
"In this manner," continued the fellow,
I jumped upon his back, and when once I
am mounted, I give any man leave to catch
me who can."
In saying this, he gave the horse a kick,
pushed him through the gaping crowd, put
him lo full speed, and carried bun clear off.
Why should a Man Swear?
I can conceive no reason w hy he should.
but many why he should not.
1. It is mean. A man of high moral stand
ing would almost as leave steai sheep us
2. It is vulgar; altcelher too low for a de
3. It is cowardlv: implying a fear of either
not being believed or obeyed.
i. It is uncc-ntlcmonly: A gentleman, ac
cording to Webster is well bred, refined.
Such a one will no more swear than go into
the streets and throw mud w ith a clod hopper.
5. 1. is indecent, oflensive to delicacy, and
extremely unfit for liumuii cars.
6 It is foolish; a want of decency is c want
7. It is abusive; lo the mind which con
ceives Ihe oath, to the tongue which utters it,
and to the person to whom il is aimed.
8. It isvenomous; showing a man's heart lo
be a nest of vipers; ond every time he swears
one of them sticks out his head.
9. It is contemptible: forfeiting the respect
of all the wise nnd good.
11). It is wickeu violating itie divine tow
and provoking the displeasures of Him who
will not hold' him guillle&s which takes His
name in vain.
There are many truisms in the world.
Take the tallowing as a sample in every day
One new bonnet will make 0 young lady
feel happy very.
One 'tunny man' will bother a whole neigh
borhood. One goose u ss will dis'.uib a whole as: em
One bad novel will waste whole reams of
One drop of oil will stop a hideous noise.
One 'jolly row' will turn ail the inhabitants
of a street out of doors.
One pretty flirt will make a dozen plain
girls unhappy for on entire evening.
One song will set thirty people talking.
JJ-A Yankee, conveying an F.nglislngcntleman
round Boston, took him lo Hunker Hiil.
They s'.oud looking at the splendid shall, when
the Yankee said :
"This is the spot where Warren fell !'
"Ah 1" replied the Englishman, evidently
not posted up in local historical matters, "did
it 11 rt "tin much?"
The native looked at him with the expres
sion of fourteen 4th of July's in his counten
ance. "Hurt him!" he exclaimed; "he was killed,
"Ah' 'e was, was 'e ?" said the s'rarger,
still eyeing the monument, and computing its
height in his own mind, layer by layer.
"Well, I should think 'e would 'ave been
'uit, to fall so far."
ITAt a Sabbalh school, not many miles dis
taut, only a few weeks ago, a reverend gen
tleman, after exhorting Ihe school most picus-
ly and affectionately for a half hour, and then,
by way of giving the pupils a chance to con
tribute their mite to the general glory cf the
occasion, he requested them to sinj Jon'un
for him, expecting, of course to hear On Jor
dan's stormy bunks 1 slan-J, flic, when, to his
surprise, the scholars, with one accord, siruck
up, Jurdnn urn a hard road to trtirel, c,
ICflt hos been observed with much signifi
cance, that every morning we enter upon
new day, carrying still on unknown future
its bosom. How pregnant and stirring the re
flection I Thoughts may be born to-day which
may never be extinguished ! Hope may
excited todoy which may never expire ! Acts
may he performed to doy the consequences
winch may not be realized until eternity !
These are sublime ondsolemn thoughts worthy
of being deeply impressed on every mind.
pKiiSF.vnrtANC;-. '"You can do anything
yon will only hove patience," said an old un
cle who had made a fortune, to a nephew who
had nearly spent one. "Water may be ear
ned in a seive, :f youenn only wait." "How
long ?" asked the peluleut spendthrift, who
was impatient for the old man's obituary.
His uncle cooly replied, "Till it freezes.'
rfirTlicre ii a young lady in Nashau, N. H.,
who thinks nothing of walking sixteen miles
before breakfast. Of course, she is ruddy,
nliinclive and hearty. Venn.
There are many young ladies in Nashau,
and elsewhere, who "think nothing" (aboutj
ffT'See there !' exclaimed a returned Irish
sohleirtoa gaping crowd, ns he exhibited
with some pride his tall hat with a bullet hole
iu it. 'Look nt thnt hole, will you ? You
see that i I it had a been low crowned hat,
; should have leen killed outright
iV.'T A man who goes lo church to chew to
bacco and spit on tho floor, ought to be taken
by the head and heels and scrubbed upon the
soiled spot until it is made clean.
O'Whot js stronger in death than i,i life
An old yellow li:i,l hen. Ifymi don't bo
lieve it, try to dusec'. one aflcr boiling.
publishedevery Thursday morning in '.l.e oU
Masonic Ha I, fecond story of the Lrirk build
ing west of C. Vaouusdal & Co's store. Main
Street, Eaton, Ohio, at the follow irg tales :
Sl:")9 per annum, in advance.
S'-'OQ: if not pai.l within the yeor, and
52:50 after Ihe year has expired.
JTThese rates will be rigidiy enforced.
Nu paper discontinued until oil arTeorages ere
paid unless atlheoption of the publisher.
UTNo communication inserted, unless ac
companied by a responsible name.
Some time ago we alluded to two cases of
sndcen death, which had recently oceureil,
and which could not properly ba classed un
derany oid'iiory title of distnse. ft have
just come across nn anecdote related by Dr.
J. K. Mitchell, while lecturing to his pupils,
in Jefferson college, upon disposes of the
heart, ond which furnishes un additional proof
that the exprestion "broken-hearted" is not
merely figurative. On one occasion, In the
early period of his life, ho accompanied, os n
surgeon, a packet thct sailed from Liverpool
to one of the American ports The captain
I frequently conversed with him respecting n
lady who had promised lo become I. is bride on
his return frr-m that voyage. I'pon this sub
ject lie evinced great warmth ol feeling, and
showed Dr. Mitchell some cost I v jewels, or-
nutrients, &.C., which l.e intended to present
as bridal presents. On reaching his destiua-
tion, he was abruptly informed that Ihe lady
had married some one else. Instantly the
captain was observed to clap his hand lo hifl
breast, and fall heavily to the ground. He
was token pp and conveyed to his cabin on
board Ihe vessel. Dr. Milcheil was immedi
ately summoned, but bslore he reached Ihe
poor raplaiti he was deod. A post-morlen
examination revealed the cause of his unfor
tunate disease. His heart was found literally
lorn iu twain ! The tremendous prrpulsioii
of blood conseqiienco upon such 11 violent ner
vous shock, lorced the powerful nursculor
;i.;sues nssuuder, and life was at au end.
Cass v3. Guy.
A -correspondent furnishes us liie foflowing
on the great Michigonder:
General Ciss has fixed himself at the "Na
tional," in Washington, the new'proprielor of
which, Guy, ol lialtimore, curiously enough,
is a living fac simile ..f the cr. at Michig.mdcr.
A gnest nt the ho'el lately astonished Ihe
Senator, by a demand for a better room.
About nn hour nlterwards, as Gen. Cass was
leaving the house for the Penale, up came the
man again, and this lime he commenced his
remarks by n familiar slap on the shoulder.
"Now, l've.got you, old Guy," said he "and
I want you to have me moved down a story or
two. Confound it, I thought I asked you this
morning, bul il lurned out to be old Cass I
was speaking lo, ond he looked os cross ns n
bear with 0 sore head." "Sir," replied tho
Senator, in a stern tone nud with n pulveri
sing glance, "you are e idently liable to mis-
1 nkes, fcr y 11 are now talking to General
Cass a second time. Good morning, sir."
The astonished victim rushed lo the bar paid,
his bill to Nioclson, aud moved to Willurd's
The Devil Elected.
The following good joke istiom the Indiana
State Sentinel :
"A good thing ocenred n the down train
from Lafayette yesterday. We have it as we
heard it :
There was one of those long faced, while
neck-handkerchief, politico-religions fanatics
on board, who was evidently uneasy lest tho
passengers should not notice him, and he,
therefore, kept up a loud nnd continuous strain
of abuse oud denunciation of "Dough-fases,"
ond at length, w hen the cars wcreat one of the
stations, turning to nn ex-cmciicolc for Con
gress', he said iu an excited nnd angry tone, 'I
do believe if the Devil wjs brought out against
Douglass for President, that he would beat
him." An Old Liner sitting by, replied that
that he was firmly of the same opinion, "'for
he ('.he Devil; would gel the vote of Ihe whole
It is needless la say the cars shook with the
roars of laughter that fntlowed this happy sally
of wit. The devou. preacher left the cars in
search of the Tribune.
A bnekwood.-iman who had never s?en a pn it
of sugM-tongs, being invittd ton ten party,
requested a person who unhappily stood neat
him, to give some information lespcctiug its
use, "It is a cry ingenious instrument,"
said the cruel wag, " which lias been lately
invented for the purpose of blowing the nose.
11 is new 111 use n genteel society, nnd It is
expected that the disgusting custom of using
the flutters will Le aKogelhrrabolishcd." The
sugar di:di was handed around : the unfortu
nate "lion" seitred ti e the longs, and the po
lite part of the assembly vert- scandalized nt
ihe ullre application of the instrument, ami
the tremendous explosion which followed.
(t5A young woman, on alighting from a
stage dropped a ribbon from her bonnet iu tin!
bottom of the stage. "You have left your
how behind," said a lady passenger, "js'o I
havn't : he's gone a fishing," innocently re
joined the dainse'.
irT'What?' said an ex-volunteer lo a com
rade whom be found engaged iu the difficult
task of driving 0 lot of swine. '1 thought I
left you in the army,' 'True f but you see I
have abandoned Ihe sword and taken up tho
No Ii'c'soa.vo. During the sessions at
Wakefield, a witness was asked if he was not
a husbandman, when he hesita-icd for u mo
ment, then cooly replied, omid Hit laughter of
the court, "No, Sir, I'se not married."
IT"NTo man," sojs Mrs. Partington, "was
beller calculated to judge of pork than my poor
husband was ; hen he was a living man, he
know what good hogs were, for he had been
brought up among 'em from his childhood."
ftfr'John, what is a geutlehiaa ?' Stub-sloe
boots, lung-tailed coat, and a high shirt
UT'Molher, this book tells about Ihe angry
waves of the ocean; now whaimakcs theoceon
get angry ?' 'Because it hat been crossed so
often, my son.'
ft5"bobbs, on being asked if he had ever
seen Ihe "Bridge of Sighs," replied "Yes; I
have been travelling 011 il ever ince 1 -was
tj""Industry must prosper," as ihe man
said when holding the bobv, while his wife
ItrA Persian adage soys "If knowledge
were virtue, who couid be more vir.uous lhau
tho devil ?'
OT'Mr. Brown, why do you wear that bail
hat ?' 'Because Mrs. Brown vows she will
not go out of the house with me until I get a
IT A InblB nf contents a dinner table. A
table of discontents a gambling table.
ITTTo be cast down undeserved ccn-'tir, nr
elated by nnm.-ritel compliment, is
proof, of weakness.