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PiblnbedevetyTbutsdsymotnlng lnhe old
, "Masonic Hail, econd story of the brick build-
a . . C t V . 1 i ",
' "l Street, Eaton, Ohio, it ibe following rateat
.-.' ' tt:S0 perannum, in advance ... .
' WOQ' if not paid within tbe year, and
. i! .. ... I2t40 after the rear has exnired.
" .,' IXTnese rate! will be rigidly enforced.
Nopaperdiscontinued until allerrearager-are
paid unless ttibe option of tbe publisher)
. ., STNo cooiraunioation Inserted, tiniest ac
,. ooipanied by a responsible name. u" t
From Chamber's Edinburg Journal.
THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.
I can see that I grow older,- '
And I note it day by day!
I can feel my heart (frow colder
As its plennrres pass away.
.. .' At the tell-tale Rlati I linger, :
Aa with faded aye I trace
" Solemn tokens which Tima'a finger
1 ''"'V Has engraven on my face. , , . ,
. But ane moment ean restore me ,' . : -
)...-, To my boyhood and my prime, . . '.'
. And aweet memtriei eoine o'er me "
' - Of that brief but bier-ted time:
Then I bear a fatber'a blt-taiug, -. '
Vt;,,i Aud I feel a roother'a kits,
And again 1 am caressing - ..
One that haa abared with me my bllaa.
' . Who aball ear the Plat mint perish '
' " 'Neath the Future's coming w veal
W hen the Soul delights to cherish.
vt..j From Oblivion's depths it arctf
Luolcing backward, on I'm gliging;, ' ,
!... Till Ireaah that final shore - ' '
Where the Present is abiding.
And where Change a halt oome no mere'
THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. Miscellaneous
BY ALICE CAREY.
Mr. and Mrs. Texter began to lire witb a
' foiiune; ll.ty had one of lite finest, house m
(own, and of course, it was l he mol isshion
: ' iable uuarter, and furnished witb H the ele-
'' gance and luxury which aiinixter to luste and
torn foil. In fhort, they liuii s great house, a
great deal of furniture, a jrreal insiiy servants,
' kud great msuy clothes. They hail fine hor
ses and carriages, a fine conferva lory a nU find
' pictures, and wriv, in all respects, Due pto
" pie. They gavesHlendidineriilinienls; bad
"' traveled at home and abroad; nave anil receiv
"7 d pnsrnts; vifiled all ihe fuolii.. neble resorts
' ' in the summer, and lit tle wittier made life
' ' One routid Of whnt is Urmed pleasure. - Mrs.
'' Dexter was a beautiful and accomplished wo
man, flnd lived as she had been educated to
live, as the supposed w at proper fur woman
of her' position and fortune to live. ' Her bsby
1 was In the nursery welj eared for, she knew,
and yet ii caused lier no little aniiely that she
' Was unable to iee it oftner than once or twice
day her engagement were so numerous
Ihry would not ailow it. : - . " '
" Busy and weary, and worn were they, nei-
' ther hnppy thenxelvts of causing happiness to
til hers. They were, of course, good deal
- -envied and disliked, aud suffered not little
from unfriendly surpiclons. It is One of the
penalties ol prosperities that it enables even
our best friends to see nil the defects of our
ehnrkcier, and sometimes to imagine faults
' , and failings of which, in reality, we are guilt
, less. -
'Why is it that we so borpd to dealh V
aaid Mr. and Airs. Dexter. Nothing seems
, fresh and pleasant and surely wa ought to be
happy if auybody is we pjssess largely the
" ..means of barpiness." '
. , So they turned aud overturned their affairs;
' ": , counted the rooms of their houses, the nutii
, bet of t heir wardrohts, and scrutinised their
(, . farnilure; but they were only the- more and
: more puzrled. In all the lists of their faah
' . ionsble acquaintancea they think of but one
family who bad ample meuns or lived more
. stylish than themselves. " Tbey had, once or
twice seen a finer coach than thtitown, Ihtf
: seldom more splendid horses, a- few coiliser
enlertsiitmenis they lud attended than tbey
i( were elite to give, but not many; and no lady
. wore finer jewels or brocades than Mrs. Dex
ter. ' v ; , " - " , '.
, , They were not adniired much, It is true, aBd
. he at meliires thought her taste in selecting
v . niusl lie st fault; bui not so, that Mm. Dex
ter should wear silks and diamonds wer a
- matter of course and so of course, they gave
nobody either pleasure or surprise, ftud least
.of all himself.
' - Ftru blazing before Idem, and mirrors flash
' ' ing behind, they sat in their fine houses ai
wondt led why they ere not Itappy, and con
cluded that they could not be possessed of
that amount of wealth that insured happiness
" for in no other wsy could they account lot the
, Inimbrum of life they lived.
.' Tbeydid not sleep well at night why, they
' could not guess, unless it wos the lauUof
their beds; they must . have more luxurious
ones, if in any part of the worlu they were to
be obtained. .They bad little appetite; the
' cook must be to blame; they employ another;
, entertainments do not eniertaiu them, and vis-
ilingand-tsitors were alike tiresome. Iflhry
bad weulih enough to do just as they woukl
.'- 'like to do, they would surely boffle the demon
61 ennui that so (Ormented them now. .
Tbe chances of specula I ion were turned
. -over, and Alt. Dexter waa aol long in select
ing one which he thought promised well So
. auro were they of favorable results, that tbey
' concluded it would be foaliihneu to wait for
. the actual realization of tbeii weallb that was
; -i.Imost within tjieir re iCh, and ao at once drew
jipon a aisionar capitaUTo then surprise,
' jiappioess refuted to come, despite their got
den bidding. From their, splendid entertain
ments tbey retired mure weary than before.
, Jrom their sorter beds arose nore languid and
f listless, and in, their dazzling coach rode with
-j, no more ease and comlurt than fcnnerly; the
, French cooks failed to suit their appetites,
,, nu mercbonia and milliners were alike un
successful in their attempts to meet their wish-
,es, .'At tho end of a year of most extravagant
i .iisipoirpn, there come a ctosh .in the affairs
- . of Mr, Dexter. From heedlessness or mismi u
. agetnen:, or bolh, the Isle venture proved un
vuei isnu.c, anq. oraggeu aiitr it to rum,
. jpookiacbe.'and al. ;. 1. ,
v!.iWhat'cn: be done t" said Mr. and Mrs.
Defer. And of course, the mnclusiuii was
1 anything' but coming dowo. Truth must be
. ainothered. aud credit keptgood, fiuthouunda
- were borrowed, and aeui aeaiching after the
4 , lost 'thousands and for awhile , the Dextera
,010V pd in splendor and gaisty, and .were to
,. outward appearances greatly to. e envied; but
in their hearta they filt very much as if aland
i.ipg on dry boards, that. for a moment auppress-'
cd the fires of an earthquake. : ,;
"What shall e do" said bolb Mr. and
, . lilrg. Dexter, when no money 090 Id bo borrow.
ed, They did not know; they only felt any
;' - thing, ariything bill corniiig rlowm,
" What would all .their fashionable friends
ay, and bow they would be avoided--that
- waa what they dreaded more than any piiva
ttion they would have to endtttc.'1! -'1 '" ' .',
' TheyeoulddeVitenQplannfection; butin
their efforts to keep op a little longer there
- ; earn a sensation of dodging: od bidinfof
BY L. 0. GOULD.
"Fearless and Free." .
$l,50per Annum In Advance.
E.VTOX, PREBLE' COUNTY, D.MAECIl 13, 1856
promising ami postponing of evasion and el-'
most secret starvation. Tbey srew thin and
haggard; their fine clothes lo ked like finei
rags, or nearly so, and the pinch of penury
showed ao plainly on their fuoet that any fur-!
Iber attempt at concealment waa hope less.
roer ans. jLtexier loosen una a nine wane;
paper woman, with a Kind oi smiio pa in lea on
her lips, for you miiibt see plainly enough it
did not spring from her - heart, and it seemed
that s breath ol wind would drift bet away as
easily as ibe froth from the mil paiL
Haifa dozen scanty fed fires were burainc
in tbe bouse, when Mrs. Dexter sealed herself
by one of tbem in mute and boneless despair.
Night fell, and the heavy curtains mado it
douulynight within the room. The door open
ed stealthily, and her husband, like snow
drift, still and cold came to her aide.
"My dear wife:" be said pleasantly, MI
would, not mind that terrible caUmnity but
for you." His voice faltered, and he pnt bis
arm about ber neck with a tenderness of man
ner that she waa not at all used to, though be
hsd always been kind and indulgent. Her
heart had never stirred as it then did, when
she heard him say, "Here is s thousand dol
lars, my dear." There actually came a fain'
color to ber cheek, and real smile to the lip
where the raise one bsd teen so long. The
bsppiness of that moment was all the lost for
tune.. ".My good, noble husband," she said,
"you must not suffer on my account. - .1 am
equal to any fortune as long asynu love me;"
and tbe hands she laid ou hie foreheed were
like a pleasant healing dew, and her kiss on
his cheek made him richer than be bad ever
The shell of fortune in which they had been
living wss broken, and tbey saw. for the first
time, that, there was a great world outside of
it. . Ice anticipated misery of coming down
lessened wonderfully when they stood up and
faced it. . ..
. All the fine furniture waa sold, tbe French
cooks dismissed, dressing maids were sent
away. Mrs, Dexier herself took chsrge of the
baby, and hall the houses let. One servant
and s small carriage were all the luxuries they
reserved for themselves. ....
All dsy after the coming down, Mr. DexW
kept put of the house; he could not bear to
see his wife deprived of the elegancies to
bicb she. bad been lo-e'; be con I J njt bear
to see bet tears -to bear, perhaps, bet re
prnnehea.,; : t , ..
. With a slow snd heavy step be approached
pis nome, line mm who . ' . , ; .
."Lingering raised his latoh nt ere,
Though tired in bear! and limb;
Who loved no other place, and yet -.
Home waa no home to bini,"
Two or Ihree times be passed and repassed
bia own door, without courage lo enter; but
seeing one of his former friends approaching,
he chose the least of the two evils and weut
in. Along Ihe dark ball and up the stairs be
groped bia way; opened the door of bis wife's
chamber, approached tbe bed, and parting the
curia. ns, passed his hand softly along it, for
he expected to find his wife ill and weeping,
ha-had found her so many lime, in conse
quence of the failing of a new dress or not to
come home at a certain hour. . She was noi
there, however, and half afraid she had go
home to her mother, be descended to Ihe lit
tle back room which wai now parlor, silting
room and all. Feeling for Ibe latch of the
door, he groaned audibly, and aa by magic,
the door lew. open, and bis wife stood beside
In in, smiling and brirjht clieeked,. and with
suc-i sweet words of welcome aa he bad never
heard her speak till then. The baby ssl crown
ing bis glmlnuss in tbe cradle, and 4AV fire
threw its bright gleam over the china of tbe
table all was neat end orderly, even taste
fully arrsnged; and os Mr. Dexter looked
around, he felt all the pride of a young hus
band on coining into bis own house for the
To the plain but good snd sufficient supper
both did ample justice; the husband had not
eaten the accustomed luncheon that day, and
earned what be Seldom hud lolore on ap
petite. "- '
, The next day cirrna trial some trifling ar
tides must be bought, and Mr Oexlei must
drive the small open citniage himself.
"1 will wear my morniui; dress and veil
ssid Mrs. Dexter, for she saw that her husband
wss mortified for her sake; so thtv set forth
together. The sun shone brightly, and the
flesh air and various shows or Ihe slreets and
windows were to exhileroting in their effects,
that Mrs. JJexler threw back her veil, regard
lees of the avlomshet looks of the Indies she
might meet. It was a- new sensation of de
light to her husband to manage the horses,snd
bold tell wb.it superfluities cooch and coach
nun had been. Aff.iiis went on very well.for
a times tbey felt as rid of a great burthen, and
in earnest and hopeful labor, experienced no
depression and no nam. Uulso deeply involV'
ed were tbey, thai another coming down most
be made. Horses and carriages must be sold,
snd themselves led nothing in ibe world bu
tbeir hearts and hands. . ..
"My dear, sweet wife, what can I say
comfort you 1" said Mr. Dexter, when he had
made a confession of their extreme poverty.
And be added sighing andaunk ng down help
lessly, "things could not be worse than they
"I am glad to hear," said Mrs. Dexter lough
ine oulricht "for as nothing in the world re
mains ststionary, our affairs must grow belter
from necessity," .
But my dear, what can we do f " sorrow
fully eiaculated the husband.
"Why," sho replied, "begin lo live inde
pendent of burdens and restiicions. For my
part, I just begin to see someling to 1 ve. for."
And drawing the easy chair to '.he fire, and
placing the baby on bis knee, she propused.lo
make for her husband a cup of tea, and
piece of taast, iu the hopes of reviving bis
There was neither breod nor lea in Ibe bouse
and worse than all rlo money,
"Surely then." said Mrs. Dexter, looking
earnestly in the face of bet husband, "there's
110 time lo be lost," sou putting on her snawi
and bonnet, she was presently gone from, the
house. When she returned it was with a glow
on ber cheek lint beigbuned her beauty
more than paint snd powder bad ever done.
She bad been selling iier dismunda, and bad
brought home money enough to. buy a cottage
and ten acres of land within s few miles
the city where ihey bad always lived,
A year went by, and as Mr. Drxtet looked
about his neat, well ordered house, as be sat
before the blazing hickory logs, i pitcher
milk, and a basin of shining apples on the ta
ble beside him, and saw. his wjfe in- a -pretty
ctiinlx, nuking the tea, and' bis boy, bright
eyed and healthy, rocking himself in the eradle
with a look of pi iJe that be wss already able
to do something for himself, be waa surprised
at his own happiness, and exclaimed: 'Really,
my dei,;I should never have learned half your
excellent .qualities end. consequently never
have loved you ball ao well, 'ul for pur com
ing down." '
'potting down the smoking teapot, she wiped
the bsppy lean from her eyes: "f never waa
I so happy in all my life. It is as if we hid re-
' "Coming down, indeed I" she replied, and
moved a great heap of rubbish, and had struck
a vein of gold; for what were all our useless
rorms, an our servants ann equipage uui so
many obit jc its in the wsy or knowing each
other! Then there was nothing that I could
do for you now I ean do everything;" and al
most sobbing she continued, "if you eall this
eomine down, 1 thsnk God for it, for it has, in
truth, been coming down tnnsefulnes,and hap
piness. With what our friends called misfor
tunes, we were the gainers every time, was
it not pleasantcr to rxle in the open carriage,
to see wnat was snout os, ana teei tne air ana
sunshine, than to be shut up in an eld lum
bering coach f And then to walk and have
the advantage of air and exercise, ami be use
ful at the same time is best of all. One room
darkened another when we bad a great house;
now the light and sunshine comes Tn all a-
round. Ourexpensive furniture required care
ful keeping, sol hsd the care of both furni
ture and servants: how I eau keep the little we
require myself, what was btfore wearisome, is
now pleasure. . 1 have no eeremoinons calls
to use the time which I can pass in friendly
interchange ofth ughtsud feeling.wilh neigh
bors who come to see me. snd not my bouse or
dress. Believe me husband s house lo shel
ter us, snd one thnt is withal tasteful ami
pretty, and giound that gives us brexd and fruit
anrt wsier and tlowers-aii lor a nine worn,
and that is the blessedest of our provisions,
for through no otbei means can we obtain
rest." - .
"You are the best and noblest woman in
the world," exclaimed the husband, inter
rooting her, '-and but fir you 1 should have
come down in verity. Now I am convinced
that while we ma 111 is in honesty and sell-res
pect, coming down is impossible.'.
It is sad to think of the great fine rooms
piled one over another too costly for ure.ami
too elegsnt for the free trade and inartificial
joy growing damp and mouldly, and sending
to the hearts f their inmates heaviness or
stupidity, when we know 'hey might be sel
np sepsriaely and in creen fpots here and
there,ond make such little worlds of comforts.
Ptiy it is that false notions a! all, are so en
feebling and di-generatiHg our men and wo
men I How shall I spend the time ? and by
hat process sholl I beat my little cold so that
it shall display the moal glittering surface! are
the first questions of the doy
Being in Debt.
It is a trite saying that Ihe pen of genius can
redeem the truest subject from its triteness.-
A Unking illustration or this ts continued in
the followinr observation of Henry Ward
Beecl.er on the dry ami hackneyed subject of
interest. How miserably he painls the miser
ies of debt what biting sharuneas in trie
word what pith and pregnancy in the sen
tencesl He sys"No blister draws sharper
than interest does. Of all inductions none is
comparable lo that of interest. It works day
and ni?ht, in fair weather and foul. It has
no sound 111 its foot steps, but travels fast it
gnaws st a mon's substance with invisible
teeth. It binds industry with its film, as a fly
is bound with a spider's wen. Debt rolls
msn over and over.binding him band snd foot
and letting him hang upon tbe fatal mesh un
til the long-letfaed interest devours him.
There is no crop lhat can afford to pay inter
est money on a (arm. There is but one thing
raised on a farm like it, and that is the Can
ada thistle, which swarms new plants every
time you break Us root, whose blossoms are
very proline, and every flower is father ol a
million seeds. Every leaf is an awl, every
branch asoear, snd eveiy single plant is like
a platoon of bayonets, and a fiold full of them
is like an armed host. The whole plant is a
torment and vegetable curse., And yet s lar
mer had better moke his bed of C.-iuoda this
ties than attempt to lie al ease on interest .'
The smallest are nearest God - as the smal
lest plants are neorest the sun.
Keioice now in your ploy, blooming clnl
dren, tbroiicli age you will bend beneath in
firmlties and grey hairs; an I in-that melancho
ly Oav, the days of infancy will be remember
ed. The western sky may indeed shut down
the aurora, and the eastern glow may be re
fleeted in the west; but the clouds become
darker, and no second sun arista in i'. Oh
rejoice, then children, in the rose color of the
morning of lift- that glides by you like pointed
flowers fluttering to meet the sun.
Were 1 onlv for a time almighty and power
ful, I would create a little world especially
for myself, and suspend it under Ihe mildest
sun. A world where I would have iialhing
but lovely little children and I would neve
sufftr these little thmgs to grow up but enly
to play eternally. If a seraph were weary Of
heave 1, or his golden pinions drooped, I would
send bim to dwell for a while in my hnppy in
fant world, and no angel, so long as he saw
their innocence, could loose bis own.
After all, children are Ibe truest Jacob's
ladder to a niothei's tear.
A California Story.
"Gentlemen of tbe Jury," said Ihe defend,
ant's attorney, in a fuil fur debt which recent
ly 'cameotr somewhere among the mires of
California, "gentlemen of the jury, I want to
tell you howlhisdebt wnscoiiirncied. Here
Mr. Brown,my client, who used to go ir.tu Ihe
store of Mr. Smith, In the evening nl.ier he had
dooe his day's woik, and Mr. Smith, knowing
that lie could beat him, would ask him
play cards; and when they were through, jind
he did beat hiln, he would charge Mr. Brown
with the toltie of Ihe article he played for,
whether it wss for Ihe drinks, or a biled shirt,
or what not. That's how Hi is debt was con
tracted. , Now, gentlemen of the jury, ought
mv client to poy il r There he is, poor, 'one
eyed' Brown, hard working man; t man who
gets big bread by the. sweat of his brow; and
there is 'picayune' Smith, got one-eyed Brown
to pfay cards with him, tliri'tdup en tht blind
itue of aim ana eveherti Arm."
Things Two Hundred Years Hence.
. (Seme Parlor in Ihe house pf an elderly
gent iq New York. Old gent telegraphs io the
kitcben, aud wailef oscenda in S ballon) ' '
.Old gent -John, fly over to Soutlr America,
and tell Mr. Johnson that 1 wil, be lianpy
have him sup , w.jt me, Never mind-, your
CUB I, IIOW JV. , , ( .
John1 Mr-. Johnson sa'rs he will come r
bas to go to tie North pole,' for a moment and
then he will b hen),--,,. -. ,
Old gent Yery well, John. Now start the
mjchiue for setting the table, snd telesranh
to my. wife's room, and tell her that Me. John
son is coming, then brush up my balloon for
have an engagement in Loudon at H o'clock.
John flies off to execute hit orders, and tbe
eld gentleman runs over to the West Indies
moment to gt fresh oripje.
Tom is a queer genius, and gels off some
tall ones occasionally. He visited us the oili
er day in our ssnctum, with a
'ow do yen do, old fellow T
' 'Hallow Tom,' said we, 'where have you
been so long !'
Why, sir, I have been down on Seven Rir
ers, in Anne Arundel county, taking Shan
phai nolea on the chills and fever.'
'Ah, indeed,' said we, 'are they very bid
down there !'
'Rather bad.' said Tom, drily. 1 here is one
place where they have been attempting to
build a brick house for eight weeks well, the
other day, as the band were putting up the
bricks preparatory to finishing it, tbey were
taken with a chill, and shook the whole build-
m completely down, and kept on shaking till
the bricks were dust of the finest quality I
Just at that junclu-e, the chills came on with
renewed force and they commenced shading
up Ihe dust with such gusto that they were
entirely obscured for two hours, and the peo
ple of the neighborhood thought the sun wss
in an eclipse.
Can't believe anything uae tnai iom.
'It's a foot.' and Tom resumed:
There's a farmer down there, who, in ape-nick
inr season, hauls his niggers out to
the orchard and sets one up against each tree.
In a shot time the chills come on, and every
apple in the orchard is shaken off the trees on
lo the ground
Incredible!' said we, noiuingoursiuei wuo
'Foot.' said Tom, 'they keep a man along
side of each negro to take him away as soon
as the fruit is off, lor tear be win snake ibe
Tom continued: 'Mr, 8 , friend of mine
and a bouse carpenter, was engaged a few days
ago in covering the roof of a bouse with shin
gles. Just ts he was finishing, the chill came
on and he shook every ahingleoff of tho roof.
Some of them are supposed to be flying about
'Another gentleman near tne same pirce
was taken with a chill the other dsy at dinner
and shook his knife and fork down bis throat
besides breaking all the Crocke.y-wore on the
table. His little so who was setting at the
same lime, wss taken with a chill and shook
all (he buttons off his inexpressibles, and then
shook himself clear of them!'
We then prevailed upon Tom to desist, who
did so, with the understanding that he was to
give us the balance some other time.
Persons who think 01 emigrating 10 Anne
Arundel County, Md., will please take notice.
"Say, yeou, got any Nails?"
A tall, gawky looking countryman, during
tbe hight of the business season last fall,
walked into one of the largest wholesale dry
goods houses on Broadway, and entirely flu
regarding the invitations ol the numerous
salesman to inspect the latest patterns, he
strode into the counting room, where the heads
of the establishment were sitting in solemn
conversation. Alierlaking a cursory glance
of the room, and surveying attentively the fa
ces of its occupants, be asked with an unc-
tious Yankee nasal twang:
"&v. yeoa eot snj nails!"
"Nails, sir, nails t" repeated Ihe most dig
nified Dombey of the firm. "No, sir, what
should. we do with nails?"
"Waal, I dunno thought maybe yeou
moUstht. Haint got noils, eh !"
No $ir," replied Dombey again, with an
errmhnsis motioning to Ihe door.:
The individual in search of nails, took bis
lime about it. and then left the counting-
room. In turn he asked every clerk the same
Question, and received the information from
nil, that "nails" formed 110 part of tbe stock
of the establishment.
"Waal," said he, going toword the door,
"don't keep nails here, no how?"
The principal salesman, whose dignity was
hurt by the idea that anyone should suppose
that in establishment where he had a promi
nent place, should seep nails, headed the
countryman off s he was proceeding toward
theentraiice,asKeunimaLrupiiy wiiame want
"Want." said the countryman, as cool as
cucumber, "I want to know ef you've golany
"Nails: an sir ! You hare been told aeain
jnd again that we have got no nails-so y.'.u'd
"Aint got no nails, eh ? Waal, then, jest
lookey here, Mister, ef yeou aintgot no nails,
what an awful fix yeou'd be in el yeou'd hap
pen lo gel the tlch."
Put That Impudent Rascal Out.
While the congregation were collected
church, on a ceiuin occasion, an old, dark
bard featured, skin and bona individual was
soen wending his way up the side and taking
his seat near the pulpit. The officiating
priMt waa one of that class who glorified
hiehfalutin platonsm. we oegnn oysoying:
"Father of all, in every age, by saint and
savage adored." "Pope," said some one,
a low but audible voice near old hard fea
tures. Tbe priest after casting an indignant
look in the direclion of the voice, continued
Whose throne rilleth npon Ihe adamantine
hills of Poradse." "Milton," again inter
rupted the voice. The priest's lip quivered
for a moment, but recovering nimseu, ne be
gan: "vt e thank inee mosi gracious rattier,
that we are permuted once more 10 assemoie
in Ihv holy name, while Others equally merit
orious, Jml less favored, have been carried be-
jonil that bourne Iron) whence no traveler re
turns" "Shaksptare," repeoted the voice.
This wss too much. "Put lhat impudent ros
ea! out!" shouted tbe priest. "Original,"
ejaculated Hie voice, in the same calm, but
"Wrvt's itcARTi's. 'My dear Polly, I
surprised al your taste in wearing an other wo
man's hair on your head,' said Wr. Smith
his wife. . ,
Mv deor Joe, lorn equally astonished that
you persist in wearing enafAer iheep'$ wool
your bock.' ' '
Poor Smith crawled under the bed and was
not keen again till the bell reng for supper..
JT An old clergyman, one Sunday, at
close of the sermon, gave 1 otico to the -con
gregation, that he expected to go on a Mmsioii
to the heathen, One of the deacons, iu gieit
agitation exclaimed: ' "Why, my dear sir.you
hove never told us one word of this btlnre;
what shall we do!" "0, brother,'? said
porson, "I don't expect to go.ont of town."
, , . w.-... .. .. ..hi) .
Swallowed a Towel. A girl in Indiana.
the other day, was inspected of having stolen
a napkin, it was round in her post salon,
but the crammd il into her mouth and swal
lowed ill Hurrah for Hooshi I
it When U il dtngsroua tr walk in
Held ! When the ireet are all shooting,
the iiiiu rtyaetom.
The Drunkard's Daughter.
That night I was out very late. I returned
by Lee's cabin about It o'clock. As I ap
prooched I saw a strange looking object eow
ering under the low eaves. A cold rain wa?
fulling. It was late in autumn. I drew near
and there was Millie wet to tbe fkin. Her
father hsd driven her out some hours before;
she hsd laid down to listen for Ihe heavy sno
ring of his drunken slumbers, so that the
might creep back to her bed. But before she
heard it. nature seemed exhausted, and she
fell into s troubled sleep witb the rain drops
palteriug upon her. 1 tried to take her home
with me: but no, true ts t martyr to bis faith,
she struggled from my srms and relumed to
her own dark and ailent cabin. Things went
on so for weeks snd months, but st length Lee
grew less violent, even in bis drunken fits to
his self-denying child; ana one day wnen ne
awoke from a heavyslumber after a debauch,
and found her preparing breakfast for him and
singing a childish song, he turned to her, and
with a tone almost lender, said:
"Millie, what makes you stay with me!"
"Because you are my father and I love you."
"You love mel repeated the wretched man;
love me!" He looked at his bloated limbs
his soiled snd rapged clothes; "love me" he
still murmured Millie what makes you love
me? I am a poor drunkard; every body else
despises me. V hy don't your"
"Dear father" said the girl with swimming
eyes, "mother taight me to-love you, and
every night she comes from heaven and stands
by my little bed and says, Millie1 don't leave
your father: Millie love your father. He will
get sway from that rum fiend one of these
days, and then how hnppy you will be.
A Lawyer Posed.
"William, look up. and ttll us who made
you. Do you know t"
w illiam.who was considered a fool, screwed
his face, snd looked thoughtful and somewhat
bewildered, and slow answered, "Moses,. I
"That will do. Now," said counsellor G.,
addressing the Court, "the witness says, he
supposes Moses made him. This certainly is
an intelligent answer. More so than Isuppos
ed him capable of giving, for it shows that be
has some faint ides of the Scriptures. But I
submit, may it please the Couit, ;hat this is
not sufficient to justify his being sworn as a
witness. No, sir. it is not such an answer
as a witness qualified to test fy should live
"Mr. Judge," ssid the tool, "may 1 ask the
lawver a question I" -
"Certainly," replied the Judge, "aak bim
any question you please."
"Wat, then, Air. Lawyer, who do you spose
made you I
"Aaron I 'spose," laid tbe counsellor, im
listing tbe witness.
Aftaa the mirth had somewhat subsided, the
"Wal, now, we do read in tbe Good Book
that Aaron once made a calf, but who.d
thought . that tbe tarnal criUer had got in
The poor counsellor was laughed down
Going Pretty Fast. An old man and his
son, neitherof 'hem very well informed as to
the railroads ond their uses, chanced one day
to be at work in a held very near a rail
road'.ra' k. Railroads were a novel "institu
tion to them: and when a train of cars shot by
a thought waa suggested lo the lad, who said
to his parent : "Dad why don't you take a
ride in the cars some day ?' "Take a ride
in the carat Why, I hoint got lirne, my son.'
"liol time I thunder! Ye con go any where
in the ears quicker than ye can slay at borne.'
Dad's reply is not on record.
ffclr A traveler domiciling at a l.otel, ex
claimed one morning to a black waiter: ' V'hat
are you about, you block resca ! You have
roused me from my sleep by telling me my
breakfast wos ready, and now yoif are at
tempting to strip off the bedclothes What
doyoumeon?' 'Why,' replied Pompey, 'if
you isn't goin1 to get up, 1 must hob the sheet
anyhow, cos dey're waitin' for de table duff'!
HJfJulinmnrio ann Cauliflower says, 'when
she fell in love, she felt ss if the was sliding
down an ice mountain on a little hand sled,
with a chunk of rainbow in her bosom as big
as a pound of swan down, expecting to be
lo'idc-d in a lake of honey filled with island,
ollcovertd with posy-bids." Tbe thermom
eter being 28 degrees below zero, lheg.il did
jrrA physiolon, passing by a stone ma
sr.n's shop, bawled out, "Good morning, Mr.
D. Hard at work I see. You finish your
gravestones si far as 'In memory, of,' and
then wait I suppose, to see who wants a mon
ument next !" "Why, yes," replied the old
man, "unless somebody's sick, and you are
doc'.ering him then I keep right on."
,11 ,-' - ' . - - - - - - ,
fry'Why did Joseph's brethren cast him into
the pit?" asked a Subbnth school teacher of
his class. 'Because,' replied one, sltly, 'they
thought it a good opening Jot the young man.'
Common-tslors are requested not to avail
themselves of this explanation, asa copyright
bas been secured.
IT "Mrs. Quig, is your husband a know-
n'lthing?". ."I guess so, for he told me this
moronic that somebody bad been making
BTA colored clergyman in Albany, recent
ly cave notire as follows from the pulpit:
"There will be four days meeting every ev
ening this week, except Wednesday afternoon.
IDA Hindoo council in 'Indiana refused
admit a gentleman to membership because
had 0 Human Aoss
JTA model return upon a writ was recent
ly made by a deputy sheriff in Darke county,
'Ohio. It wis 'Sarved the within but w s
with brickbats by the women so lharl c ulun't
IT Men are like bugle, the more brass they
contain the farther you can hear them. Wo
men are like lii ips, the more modest and re
tiring they appear the better you love them.
ITA.poor Irishman who Applied for s license
to sell ardent spirits, beineqoestioned as
his' moral fitness for the trust tenlied : "Ah.
!,ure ,1 j(ut much eharavther a man needs
sell rum.". .
I n? Why U the life of an editor like the book
- of Revelaions I . Because it it full of ''types
and shadows, and s mighty voice, like
1 sound of moojf waters, is tvet aayint tu him
rnWe seree wilh a eotcmpoary that ,?onf
ladies should" liever object to being kitted
editor; they should marke every tllowenee
in jrt tum i the I'rt u
Rates of Advertising.
One square (orless)l insertions, 11:00
" Each sdiiittonsi insemon, so
" Three mouths, - - 1:00
' Six months. 6:00
Twelve mouths, 8:00
Onefourtb ofe column peryear - 16:00
" ball , . . i8.ou
colunm ' 10:00
Al lover a aqusre charged as two squire t.
tTAdvertisements inserted tfll fuilid al
theeipenseof theadvertiser.Xt .
Executed at this office with' nestfirrt and i
patch, at tbe lowest possible rates.
REV. CHAS. WADSWORTH'S SERMON.
Slavsrt. We recently govt several ex
tracts from tbe eloqnent Thanksiiving Sermon
delivered by this philantbropia Christian Di
vine, and now five his views upon Southern
Slavery, which we recommend to the atten
tion of those fanatical Abolitionists who seek
to destroy the temple of liberty, in order to
gratify tbeir own morbid sympathy. The
three thousand New England Clergymen may
here receive a profitable lesson, wuiie they
endure s wholesome rebuke. On the subject
of Negro Slavery, be says:
Nor, on the whole,-have we any more seri
ous apprehensions of disaster from that ever
lastingly vexed question or southern mucery.
The cry of danger to our Federal Union, from
this cause, is, at most, the false alarm of over
slept wttchmen, who in the somnambulism of .
half ores in, mists ne tue stgna 01 winux
through the bsnner, for the stealthy tread of
armed men, or ihe far peal of trumpets. We
do not say that this great confederacy can
never, fo any cause, be rent into iragmsms,
and Instead of one glorious commonwealth,
there arise on its ruin, witt all '.heir anarct.'oi
and revolutionary accessories, two snial let con
federacies, like the miserable military repub
lics of South America. Cause may, indeed.
arise in tbe providence of an avenging God,
which shall rock our proud nationality into
dust, and bury in tne grave of our free insti
tutions, at once the liberties of an people, and
the hones of a world. This all may happen,
as we shall insist upon, from the operation of
the principles of the text lhat Ood will surely ,
displace, and. destroy every instrument that
works not out the purpose ol lis establishment.
We might say, indeed, that this Union can
never be dittolved: because il is tbe result of a
great organic law, which makes it, as ihe dif
ferent memb.rnof a common body, by the
great principle of a common life, one aod in-
dissoluable fortver not a conglomerate or
States, but a great and composite Nation.
Nevertheless, os violence may destroy a com
mon life by a ditservance of its members, so
this Union, while il con not be peacefully eft's
nlved, like an ice-hill in the sun, may yet be
rent into fragments, as a mountain' is rent by
an earthquake. We do not say that this shall
never happen, but this we do say,,wilh the
clearest, the calmest, and the most assured
confidence, that this quertion of Siulhern
Slavery is not the earthquake that bas power
to sever us.
There has been, indeed, since Solomon's
time a regular descent of men, "from whom,
though brayed in a monar, among wheat, with
a pestle, yet foolishness will not depart."
Impracticable and malignant fools, who, like
Heroslralus, would gain for themselves immor
tal infamy, by the destruction of glorious
structures like the Ephesiou Temple Diana.
And such are the men, wr.o, for the aake of
black men scattered thinly over the continent, -would
destroy this confederacy; and for the
abstract and .imaginary right of a poor frag
ment of a race to whom its exercise, if proc
ticable, were destructive and disosterous
would madly destroy the lost hope oft world's
solvation, aud bring down, upon all races, the
burden of aucs-tral bondage, adamantine and
forever. Nevertheless, with such men, the
great Anglo-American mird bas no sympathy
whatever. The qti'stion of slavery is, con-
fesiedly, a perplexing and dis'urbing thing in
our body politic, and about it men differ hon
estly and widely, but tbeir is one greater aud
grander question, about which the over
whelming ond increasing majority of this peo
ple never hove differed, nover will differ, and
that is a tleadfutt and ivjlrxihle jntrpoie, to
preierte uithall their enerpiet and their heart' 1
bet blood, their gloriuui Union indiisoluble and
Slavery is confessedly on evil, which no man
more deeply feels, and more ingeniously ack
nowledges, than the intelligent slave-holder to
wti i.-iii ihe evil was a birth right and to gel
rid of Ibe thing wi'hout dismlvantoite lo the
(wo races is a problem perplexing all Christian
philosophy. If true to ouiselves, the God ho
halh. releivcd us train sorer evils will workout
this problem, and 111 I he end moke manifest t
the world, His hidden purpose of wisdom and
love in loot myst;rious dispensation whereby
these children ol Africa have been permitted o
oonduge. Meanwhile oboutexpedienls for re
moving tins evil, so that the black man and
the white man shall be mutually advantaged, .
there may be ond till God reveal his own hid
den wisdom there must be honest and hearty
differences; aud yet none but a la.-.ntic or a
fiend, ever thought seriously, for one moment,
of solving Die problem by dissolving the Union;
for, in the first place, such dissolution, so lor
from freeing the slave, would leave biai more
liopt less y a bondman in a great " oulhern mil
itary confederacy. And secondly even if il re
sulted in Ibe abolition of slavery it would be
Heating an evil on '.he old heroic plan of fel
ting fire lo a house to get rid of a broken sash,
or cutting off s man's bead to cure his aim of
Oh, No! No! indeed Not Our national bark
maybe driven, by God's stoiisr into ship
wreck, but it will not be on this poor pebble
of negro slavery, we break up piece-mesl.
We have already escaped a thousand mightier
dangers, hen tbe old thirteen colonies aroe
atotust British oppression there wer-e three
millions if people, scattered along a wild sea
board, and even then, they braved the pres
sure of dissevered counsels of party jealousies
ofSintequorrels of sectional eneroachmeNis
on a central government of destroyed cities
of stagnant con merce of burned and bligh t
harvests of pralysed industry of a crashing
burden of delti, and of a disaffected and disso
lute soldiery. All this great burden they bora
triumphantly, through the long conflict with
the mightiest war power of Ihe world. And if
thus and ihen, a nation only in form and name,
wilb little of the vitality of her subsequent no
tional life America only grew stronger une'rf
this pressure in all those elemenls that now
constitute her glory; tell me, if now, standing
erect and mature in the full grandeur ef her
ttrengib, the cannot, against the empty breath
of a thousand fools, bear onward unbroken
nay unbent, this poor fardel of slavery. Oh!
away with the doubt, let it come from what
quarter it may; let il assume whtt form il will,
of philanthropy of religion, it should Le tram
pled sternly under Toot as t hissing reptile;
and the man who even in whit per deres to
speak of disunion as a possible and practical
thing, should be spurned from ibe roceorall
honest men into infamy ami exile, traitor
to hi Country end 0 infidel t kit Gtd. ,
' IT A Correspondent of the N. Y. Miirow
thinks it a pity that Horace Greely has not a
middle name beginning with O.that his ini
tials might represent bis manners.
(trf too would get along in the world, ymt
ninkt hold up your k-ewd.cven if you know iha t
there is not much ia il. '.
rrThe attorney who "mmed Ihe Court,"
attained hi beck in- lbs effort, and has kept
bis bed tver mice. -