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New Series. EATON, TREBLE COUNTY, 0 JUNE 5, 1356. Vol. 12. No. 50.
From Peterson's Magazine.
THE SONG OF YOUTH.
BY ANNIE ELIZABETH.
Oh.tdt me not again to sing
Ha song ol other years, .
1 cannot wak th silont string, .. , . , ,
Or check the falling tears';
fe'nr childhood's scenea tre, hurrying-on, .
I hear its voices low. ; " ,
And almost deem that life's young mora
Is waking on my brow.
The bright dream Hies, I cannot sing .
. . The aong of youth's glad hours.
For by-gone mem'riea round me fling .
Their deepand aaddeuiag powers;
Sack through life's' pathway rough and bore,
" To childhood's hours I've spoa.
Bat mot are the mile-atones there,
' -The flowers all dark and dead.
Fain would I bind one sonny wreath
from youth's forsaken bowers: ' '
Fain weald I feel once more the breath
Of those long-vanished hours,
' Sut they hare gone like tradians dreams,
Oone to return no more
' If or will again their starry gleams
Light my dim pathway o or.
.As tracings on the desert sand
At the sirocco'sbrevth
11a re vanished, so that cherliihed band
Hare passed away in death;
My spirit sad no more will stray1
Youth's fairy scenes among,
Then ask me not of those bright days
To sing tbe fav'rite soug.
From Peterson's Magazine.
BY MRS. MARY J. CROSMAN.
Ella, dear, whatsbsll you wesrtothe.levee
to-night ?" asked Marion Worthington of her
ister.assbe entered the cheerful boudoil where
Ella was silling. ' '
'My while satin, I think," was the quiet
leply.. ' ' ' '-'
"And who shall wear the diamonds I', con
You. of course, I don't wish tbem." -
' "I wonder why my dress dosn't come ; the
dressmaker waa to send it at lour o clock, snd
its now fiv minutes pasti come, Ells, don't
citover that book any longer; one would think
yon were going to Senator Townsend's thifc
evening;" snd in a singing tone, she added,
"Juppy am I to night, Ella, happy am 1 to-
'Action sad reac ion t equal," replied
" Wss that a quotation from the old philo
sophy, or an echo from the student's conver
sation!" asked Marion, archly; and happy
flush overaprend the fair face of Ella, which
the student referred to would have proudly
Evening came: gilded mirrors reflected the
light of massive chr.udeiieis, and mirtu ana
Hiutie echoed from hall lo hail.
Amid that choice assembly of guests, Marion
svood fenha queen. She was beautiful and
an heiress; familiar with poetry, philosophy.
and science, she was brilliant in conveisa
lion and held her listeners aa by some magic
The next day, in a neat room, in "No. 9
Wail atreet." w-ie aealed two friends, after
the labors of the day; the one a atudent of
the luiversily, the other an assistant in one
of the wholesale warehouses of the city.
"Come, Alf," said the lutter, "it's lime to put
away books; come, draw up the arm-chair;
give the Are a little more coal, and let's chat
. Allred yielded; his mind still suffered from
the excitement of the previous evening ; for
his student habits were not in keeping with
"The ladies looked elegantly, last night,1
said Edward to bis friend, "didn't you ibiuk
"Oh, yes; but dress alone is a tiifle, a soun
. "Then turn to Marion Worthington, the
lieht of every gatherum: but did you not ou
serve the Senator, how interested he was in
hei remarks and crilicii-ms upon the upper and
lower house, theispsecbes, debates, die. It is
all owint- to her extensive reading; she seem'
ed aa familiar wilh the Capital as himself,
who had spent the winter there; and you need
not wonder that I'm a bappy fellow, Alf, when
this paragon of woman has laid all at my
"Then never trample upon the precious
gift, Edward. You think Marion superior to
her sister, I suppose," ssid Alfred alter
Oh. Ells is a fine little girl, gentle, loving.
and rich besides; but lha never would aspire
to that social position which Mir ion could so
easily win and austsin.
"No; but in tbe home-circle, her virtues
would so brightly shine, th t all wilhin ber
iuflutnee, would grow moie pure, from being
purely shone upon. Have you never observed
that one who baa led tbe courts of fashion, hat
been, caressed, admired, and flattered, can
never, never minister lo the wants of others!"
"Why, Alf, you sre really lecturing me ; I
i believe von have fallen in love with Ella."
"Tnai'a true, and what's better the love is
"VVoII.sas looked, beautiful and fairy-like
laat night, 4oo; though her cbsrmti are of a
different order from ber sister's." -
"But she is Uuei womau," replied Alfred,
a little spirited. ., , ' .
Edward was fine-looking, so lha ladies said,
possessing Urge store of native wit, with
polished manners and .captivating address, and
bad tbe nobler traits of chaiacter been devel
oped and the whole man consecrated to a wor
thy object, bo might have reached those
heights whose altitude bis beclouded, vision
now could not scan; but In childhood, a vain
thoui b handsome mother hsd so surely defin
ed the limila of hia aims snd acts, that all tbe
efforts of hia friend Alfred, could not lengthen
cord not ternova a stakei hence, bis highest
hope and aspirations were a true an index
of tbe heart's esrly culture aa ia the fruit of
tbe buried seedCor 'men do not gather rapes
(rom.thoms nor figs from ttistiea." ...
Ia th brilliantly lie hied cathedral were as
lembleil tovnua friends. ' The organ sent . forth
melodious anlbeos, which awoke responding
cboea ia every heart: they who bad entered
tbf golden gate, with its flower nwreatbed
arches, in fanov istutned and stood again in
tha liBht at DtosDective. hsnnlness ; and tbe
flowers bad faded, percharres lbey grew bright
and fragrant; .if the light lad ueparieo, n re
turned ana in to banish darkness or gild the
clouds. Youth looked forward, and catching
tha inspiration of the bour, quicker .beat the
heart-nulse unlit Ibe tell tale blush revealed
the inner thought. . . .
Edward and Marion stood within tbe altar ;
the marriage vows were taken vows that
were limited only by 'the beautiful word, far
mer.' . .....
Time passed away in travel and pleasure,
n exlravsesnce and luxury. The ne wli wed
ded couple were the idols of the gayest circle,
and fashion, among all her votaries, hsd not
one snore faithful or devoted, than the proud
and haughty Marion.
Alfred was reioicing a mm toil and discipline
for tbe day-stsr of life now dawned upon his
pathway. Ella had ktng admired bia talents,
but felt Ihst bis intellectual attainments made
him fsi ber superior.. He, the poor student.
thought, loo, that tbe bsrrieia between them
were impassable; and so it often is.while love
itii folded wing mourns in silence, now,
that all doubts were removed, he pressed for
woid with a firm and steady step; and though
tbe mountain path was sometimes sleep and
urged, its course was upward.
Wben four years tad passed, when honors
had been wan and life's earlier laurels gath
ered, there wss snother union of bearta and
claspings ofhsiids, and another home for hap
piness upon earth. Aiierd fiaymona ana mi
bride went forth to act the parts assigned tbem
and lo bear each otheu burdens.
There are, within, the circles of fashion,
those who despise their thraldom; who feel
that tbe soul's noblest powers grow wsn and
weak, from the breathings of so vapid an at
mosphere. But can the fetteied eicapa un
aided r so it had been with blla, till a prol
fered hand had guided ber to the sphere she
now sdorned: then h wss that the spirit un
folded its upper pinions, snd in the life thst
now is, was laying up treasures for that which
is to come.
The great wheel of fortune in its ceaseless
revolution, casts upon the earth that which
was elevsted to the hesvens. Edwstd and
Marion had fallen: poverty and wrelcbednesa
succeeded dissipation. Tbe fire of love which
had burned so brightly upon Its altar, waned
and went out; scattered were its ashes, detso-
late and dark the temple.
In that bour of recklessness and sell aban
donment, the band of Alfred rested upon his
brother with an enchanters power, in girl
hood, Marlon had often said that she would
sooner yield to Hia than any other person;
now it wss fully tested. In so fearful an
emergency, Marion had loo much intellect and
loo high a love for the praise of others, not to
enter into the work of self-reform; so she
sided the efforts pot forth to reunite the bro
ken hesrt-siungs, and wea?e, into tbe warp
of life, a holit-r brightness.
In ihe v illsge ol R , wss a lovely dwei-
linti tbe passer by marked its rural besuty, its
simplicity and elegance so happily combined.
it was the residence or frolessor Raymond.
There Edwsid and Marion found a home, when
the world frown d on tbem: and still remain
ed to labor with their truest friends. Want
ond sorrow never left that doot uncared for,
misery never turned away unmitigated.
Ella is now a calm, self-possed and dignifi
ed woman, while her youthful charma still
beautify middle age.- Happy children call ber
mother, learning both by precept anj example,
the law of love. In tbe home-aphere her
proudest hopes arecen'ered, and her highest
victories were achieved.
Mariner, upon the ocean of life, beware of
the paths you choose I Crystal sheen msy
wash over Ihe sunken rock glittering waves
msy besr you onward to tbe fearful' mael
trom. ' '
The true charity of Christians ia a free and
voluntary thing not what men are forced to
do-by the laws; it is a largeness of mind that
diaposetb men to do good toothers, and em
braceth every opportunity for that purpose. It
is the flowing of a fountain that runs freely,
essily and constantly, and not like tbe pouring
water out of a narrow-mou hed vessel, where
but little coinet.anj with a great deal of noise.
Charity spreada itself like the beams of the
sun,. and warms and enlivens the colder pans of
the earth; it piercelb into the bowels of it.snd
makes itself a passage of those secret and
hidden objects which are outof the viewof the
world. True charily hath arms so Isrye as to
comprehend the whole world within them; but
it is the life and spirit ol thst body of which
Christ is the bead; it posselb from one mem
ber to another, emptying itself from Ihe large
vessel to (he smaller, and so by a conslsnt mo
tion and course through the body, it keeps
best and union in all ita parts. To do good
because one cannot help it, is to obey the
law of neceyty. nd not of charity. Ha that
refuses lo go further than the law requires
him, declsres he would not hsve gone so far
unless the law had forced him; which is in
effect to tell the w.irld be bath not so much as
sn inclination to do charity.
Hafniums. To watch the corn grow and
the bloosoms set, to drsw hard breath over
ploughahsre or spade, to resd, to think, lo
love, lo hope, to pray these are things to
make man bappy; they never in' hsve power
to do more. The world's prosperity or ad
versity depends upon our knowing and teach
ing these few things, but upon iron or glass,
or electricity or stesm, in nowise. And I am
utrpian and enthusiastio enough to believe
that the time will come when the world will
discover this. It hss now made its expert
ments in every possible direction but the right
one;.and it seems that it must at last try the
right one in a mathematical orcesaity. It has
tried fighting snd presching and fasting, buy
ing and selling, pomp and parsimony, pride
and humiliation -every possible manner oiex
isle nee in which it could conjecture there
was any happiness or uigniiy; and al: tbe
while, as it was bought, sold and fought, and
wearied itself with politics, snd ambition, and
self-denials, Ood hss plsced its real happiness
in the keeping or tbe little m oases ol lha way
side and of tbe clouds of the firmanent. ;
JT'How do you do, Mrs. Tsttle; have you
besn! the story about Mrs. Ludy V
Why, no, really, Mrs. Gab, what ia it-do
tell f ' -v
Oh, I promised not to tell for the world I
No. 1 must never tollon'L I'm afraid it will
Why. m never tell on' it at long as I live
just as true aa the world; what ia it do tell.'
now yon won't say! anything about it r
well, if you'll believe me, Mrs. Ludy said
last night, that Mrs. Trot told her, that her
sister's husband wsa told bv a nerson who saw
k, mat mis, roubles oldest daughter told Mrs
Nickena, that she heard ber mother say, that
a milliner told ber, that bustles were going
oat or issnion r, , .;..-,, . :. - r
IT What's tbe difference between Noah's
Ark and Joan of Arc? ' One was made of wood
and tbe other wai Mud of Orleans. -
Mrs. Pimperton's Whitewashing.
Mrs. Pimperton had "laid it to heart" for
years, that ber door yard fence should be
whitewashed, and she fairly tormented the
flesh from Mr. Pimperton, clattering about
that "door yard fence." The old man ssid
"it had got so that he coutd dream of nothing
else but door-yard fences and whitewash!"
Mr. Pimperton at last found a receipt for
whitewash, which she cut from the "bideral
Rocket, nd Political Turps'lo," made np of
lime, sail and sugar "more permanent and
lustrous," sccoroing to the paper than while
lead itself. This "added fuel to her lire,"
aud she followed Mr. Pimperton with that re
ceipt until he was obliged, in self-defense, to
prepsre a dose of it, and baptise about twenty
roda of hia fence. Well, it did look beantiful
in the setting sun, on the evening of in com
pletion; snd the old man really began to think
tbal old Mrs. Pimperton twa something of a
woman after II Mr. and Mrs. Pimperton re
tired that night bappy.
"Ls, me 1" exclaimed Mrs. Pimperton, as
she wss putting the finishing touches to the
bow-knots of her night cap-strings "Ls, me!
Mr. Pimperton, it didn't cost much, n'olher;
snd the old fence looks just as good as new,
snd shines a good deal brighter than Squire
Holmes' wilh ull his paint snd ile. Don't say
a woman don't know nolhin' again, Mr. Pim
perton. Women do know something. Not a
dollar out and our fence will last us for ten
Mr. Pimperton rolled over, grunted, and fell
asleep. During the nightMrs. Pimperton wss
awakened bi strange noises. She shook Mr.
Pimperton from his slumbers It did seem as
if tbe very heavenr had "broke loose," as Mrs
Pimperton sa'd. The herds of a thousand hills
were evidently upon them.
Mr. Pimperton arose and threw open the
window. And there, gathered in the moon
light, marching and coi'iitermaiching, andbel
lowing forth unearthly rounds, and goring each
other, really were o Mr. Pimperton thought)
the "herds of a thousand bills," storming
around his newly-whiiewanlieU fence.
"Great Josiah 1 he exclaimed, as he stood
in bis umlress, staring Ihrougb the window,
why, Mrs. Pimperton, as true as you are a
live woman, the very cattle baa come down to
dance arjund my fence I"
Then out of the bed bounded Nrt. Pimper
ton; and there they were sure enough, "a ra-
gin around, their tails flying, their horns "a-
flann," as she declared, and they bad the first
really jolly laugh together Ihey had had lor
years. But the morning told the story. The
herd hsd mostly disappeared. Two or three
persevering animals still lingered, however,
and were still standing, "reared upon their
bind lees, lickina off the tall, auear end lime.
upon the top of ihe posts the last touches of
their last mehl's work I" "The lence," said
Mts. Pimperton, in relating the circumstance
"wss licked as clean as my wasn ooa:u i"
An Irish Sermon.
Mr. Mulvany ye must die although ye're so
hale and hearty, ye must, die that ye must.
And ye Mr. Rofferly, must die too, although
ye are so lane snd so lank that yescarce make
a shadow when the sun shiiles; ye must die,
that ye must. And ye Mr. Inniskillen, yc
must die too, that ye must. .And ye, too, Mr.
Tesuge McGinnis, for all you are so rosy
cheeked, and are forever making love to the
girls at Donnybrouk Fair, ye mnst die, yes,
that ye must all die. I must die, too although
I am the Pastor of Ihe Parish, and have the
care of all yer so wit, I miistdie too.ond when
I shall be coming up before Gondners, and
Goodness is after saying to me: 'Father Mul
rico Lsfferty, bow is your parish off for drunk
enness?' I shall say, 'Ouch, mighty clsne,
yer honor.' And then Goodness will say:
'Father Mulrico LnlTeily, how is your parish
off for such like deadly, si s f Uch mighty
clane yer honor.' So ye see its a good char
acter I shall be giving Goodness of yez all;
but when Goodness shall say to me, 'Father
Mulnco.Lnfferly how have they paid you their
Easier dues V what shall 1 say to that ye
A Vai.entini! as is a Valbnt ne. The lady
who could read the following, and not "pity
the sorrows of a poor young man," deserves to
live and die an old maid:
I wish I wasa turkedove:
a aetteu ou your nee
I'd kiss your smiling
lips to all eterney tee.
Did You Small'im
The other evenine, about dusk, a gent'e-
man who bad his 'bib and tucker on' woa hur
tying s long Main street will, that peculiar ner
vous stpp and would be placid countenance,
which ever indicates a journeying toward the
shrine of anme fair one, when he passed s
cluster of Juveniles, four in number, who
were amusing themselvea at some game. He
hsd scarcely got beyond the lime iriiows
when one of them jumped up snd cried out,
'did vou smell 'ira V Three of ihcm seemed
to hsve hsd their ola lactones regaled, but the
other who hail missed the treat by some chance
exclaimed 'No I sprung up and in his eager
ii ess to be even with his playmates, ran into
Ihe sweet scented individual. The other
boys now Wined in the pursuit, and the man
had '.he infinite pleasure of having a rquad of
youthful Americans following along at his
heels, snuffing like so many curs on a trail
until be arrivod at the Mecca of his pilgrim
age. Were it not well for gents to leave the
use of mutk to the sex who, by custom
have a pre-emption right to it ?
rrA boy wascsught in the act of stealing
dried berries in front of a atore the other day
and was locked up in a dark closet by tie
grocer. Tbe boy commenced begging most
pathetically to be released, aim alter using
all the persuasion that bis young imagination
could invent, pioposed, "Now, if you'll let me
out, and send for my daddy, he'll pay you for
Ihe berries, and lick me Unde$ ."' This ap
peal was too much for tbe grocery man to
stand out against.
rr "Willie," send a doling parent at the
breakfast table to an abridged edition of him
self, who had just entered the grammar class
of the high school. "Willie, my dear, will
you pass the bnlterf Thirtamiy.thir takthes
me to pathe anything. Butter ilh a common
subtbantiva neuter gender, agreetb with hot
buckwheat caketb, and is governed by tbugar
houlh molatheths unnderlhood."
! PaiiNDsnir. When I see leavea drop from
their trees in the beginning of autumn, just
such, think it ia the friendship of the world.
Wbibt tbe sup of maintenan"e lasts, my mends
swarm in abundance; but in the winter of my
need they leave me naked. - -
j . .,r-1. ..i-- i
' rr'Jolius was you ever in business V 'On
course 1 wss.' 'What business V 'A sugar
planter.' 'When was dat, myculid friend f
'De day 1 berried dat old tweelkestrob mine.'
WHICH TO CHOOSE.
Mrs. Champion," a rich widow of only thirty
summers, and in full bloom of her beauty,
was in the matrimonial msrketclosely besieged
by three suitors all of them good looking, all
gentlemen, and all professing unbounded and1
disinterested love for the fair lady. Captain
Trevanien bad been n cavalry officer, but had
retired fr m Ihe service. He was a Ull, dash
ing figure, with very aristocratic manners, and
like Ned Pepper, Paul Clifford's friend pos
sessed an 'unkimmon fine bead of hair.' In
deed, it was rumored thst his ambroisal curls
were not nature's gift to him, but she spolia
opimaofiome n melees and more favored indi
vidual, procured of Bogle by the inlermedia
tisn of a certain amount of filthy lucre. The
captoin had inherited a large lortune.
Suitor No. 2, was a-young man about town,
very fashionable, polished, and pleasant. He
contrived to keep out of debt, but his financial
resources were said lo be very limited. Air.
Careless evidently bad a good prospect of suc
cess. The third suitor, Mr. Slanelyinorton, was an
art student, and also cultivated poeiry.
Though very modest and unaffected, be was
slightly eccentrio in tbe matter of costume
wore a Reubens bat, and b ack velvet coot,
and during the Kossuth excitement, had a se
rious thought of completing his equipment by
a feather but his better genious saved him
from Ibis selection. As he was quite sensitive
and timid, bad an awkard babit of blushing
and was silent in company, the captain and
Careleas made light of the rivalship, and con
sidered the contest as confined only lo them
selves. Tbe raptain proposed afler the most ap
proved labia of fashion, dropping gracefully on
one knee, and pressing the lips thst murmured
his own vows to tbe Juir band be solicited as
Wben he bad retired, Claude paid his de
voirs, and made bis proposals w th great ear
nestness. His professions and interestedness
were no less emphatic than the captain's.
The painter came next. When alone with
the lady of bis love, be found a voice which
failed him in Ihe presence of others.
l o each ol the suitors she gave the same re
ply, namely; thst she would return a definite
answer to his suit exactly three weeks from the
date of his proposal; requiring him in the in
terval to refrain from calling or inquiring about
ber, and to absent himself from the city. Each
wooer promised a knightly obedience, and
kept bis pledge. Tbe captain ran down lo
Newport; Claude went lo Saratoga, and Stan
ley carried his aketcb-bcok up lo the W lute
The widow abut herselfup for three weeks.
Al tbe expiration of that time punctual to the
appointed day, hour, and minute, the elegant
captain entered Blrs.Uhsnipion's draw ing roum.
and surveyed himself from head to foot in the
Versailles mirror, with a smile of satisfaction.
He waa engaged in self sdmiration, wben a
light step recalled him to a sense of propriety.
He turned and beheld the. widow, hut a thick
veil covered her face. He drew a chair to ber
side snd addressed her.
"Dearest Isabella," said he, in h-a most
persuasive tones, 'allow me to remove the en
vious screen winch shrouds r harms Ibal were
never meant lo be Concealed.'
"Alas, Captain," said the widow, with a
tremulous voice, and drawing her veil yet
closer, "those charms exist no longer.
"Is it possible!" cried the captain in a tone
of alarm. "What do you mean ("
"Since I aaw you I have been very sick.
Wben vaccinated, and the ravages of tbe small
"The small pox!" cried the captain, push
ing his cbaii back to tbe other side of the
"Don't be afraid, Captain," said the widow.
'It's all over, and I am a dreadful object to
behold, but of course that makes no difference
in your affections."
"Hem I" cried the contain, "it would
make do difference if 1 wanted to retire with
you lo the country, to live like Darby and
Joan. But to go into society to introduces:
ballsand sulress a person disfigured by a dread
ful disorder, J, Lord ma'am the idea uevir en
tered my head!"
1 release you from your engagement yon are
free, ' eaid the widow.
"1 have no doubt ma'am," so id '.he coplain
greatly relieved, "that ou will find individu
als not exactly in my situation, who will be
will be very happy to in short ma am, 1 wish
yoo a veiy. good day.
"Uoli -hearted, vain egotist," said tne w:u
ow, when he had left her. "l rightly ganged
your characler. Yju only wished for a hand
some wife loenhance your consequences aud
parade in society, as you show off your hand
some horse in the strtel. Letusste whether
mv thoughts hsve wronced Mr. Careless."
To Careless she told the same story. The
young gentleman heard of the lossof ber beau
ty with great nonha lence.
"Bui that is not all," said Mrs. Champion,
"My business man has just been witb mall
the morning. My investments were most un
fortunate. 1 am completely beggared."
"How unfortunate,' cried Cureless, "for I
am in tht same predicament. Idou'isee my
wav throuchthi) Quarter, no u is very ev
ident that it would be tbe height of folly for
two persons without any income or prospect,
to n arry only lo multiply misery; 1 must beg
you to leceivo my proposals of last month ss
only eonditionsl. Doubtless tbeie are rash
unprincipled men who would in my case think
ouly of sentiment; but I am too good a moral
ist and too good a citizen lo think of peraever
inenow. Farewell, madame I Farewell for
ever) I leave you witb despair in my heart
and madness in my brain.
Probablt no declaration of despair was ever
utteied in a cooler tone and so thought the
"He loved me for my money, as I thought,'
she sa id. "I begin to believe that a II men are
alike. If Stanley proves equally heartless 1
shall renounce the profidious."
The young atlisl beard Ibe loss of bis lady's
"It is a misfortune," said ha. Beauty is a
glorious gift, but perishable; the true htait
aud mind alone remaiu uncnangeu tin ueaui.
"But I am noor." ssid lb widow.
"You give me a new life Isabella!" cried
the painter. "The world cannot say now that
any mercenary motives tainted the pure feeling
wilh which 1 renard you. Trust me you shall
never want while I have braiu and hand to
wotk for you. '
"Then iska me for such as I am and war,'
cried the widow, ihiowing off ber veil, "both
in person aud in purse, and f rgie Ihe fabri
cated tale which proved two of my suitors
worthless. ' -
Freed from the veil, her dszzling besuty
beamed on Ihe Pm inter in nndiinmed radiance,
and her band thrilled fo his touch. Need we
say thai they were happy f ;
fXT"It growa dark," as tbe negro said wf bi
A Business Rendezvous.
The French have a slrance way of transac
ting buainess snd then again 'he verv gaieties
themselves may conceal matters of deep mo
ment. Witness the following anecdote:
A beautiful lady received a note from her
lawyer, soliciting an hour's interview on mat
ters of the utmost importance.
"An bour !" exclaimed she, "why the man
speaks as if one's hours were at one's wn dis
posal. I cannot give up my siesta, or I shall
look pale and faded this evening, neither can
I give up ibe ball, of course not. I have
In a short time, the solicitor received an
invitation to the Countess de 'a ball.
Never having seen the lady, the gentleman
wss perplexed, but a note from hia fair client
set'all right by saying that she had caused it
to be sent to him thai he might Ihere consult
with her on her affairs. The lawyer went.
and contrived lo transact the business by frag
ments between Ibe waltzes, frequently inter
rupted by the lady's admirers. While he no
ted legal frets in bis memorandum book, she
doited down the names of ber psrtners for the
next dance, ana thus between business am:
pleasure she passed a delightful evening.
'But l must see you again," said be con
'How soon T" asked the lady. "Say next
Thursday, Mad. de 's soiree. Very well
you shall have a card.
"Another bull J" exclaimed be.
"What! murmuring that in addition to giv
ing you an interview, I give you the opportu
nity of enjoying deiightlul muuc, and an ex
cellent supper. Oh, you unreasonable man,'
laughed the merry beauty. 'If you hare busi
ness wi'.h me, ycu will have to submit, and
never fear, I have balls to last till the middle
of April!" and she ulided off but kept her
word, and those grave affairs were settled in
the midst of the merry whirl of Pa.-isian society.
One of the most humorous members of the
Judicial of this county is Judge Coprou. Last
week a Dutchman complained to ihe judge
that a rowdy had assaulted bis wife aud he
would have bim arrested.
The following colloquy subsequently en
"What da you complain of Mr. Von
"I doss n't complain, I never vassick."
"I mean, what do you want?"
"I vants a Warrant for a pair of rowdies
what calls mine wife go to h II."
'Did they do any tbing else!"
'Yaw, dey kills mine sthove and breaks-
mine dog Han's head mit a lager beer mug."
"Do you know their nameaf"
"Yaw, one's name is gimlet eyed Frilz and
the other ish not. I want warrants for both."
"Where do they residef"
"In some dbam shireet np town."
"Come air, no swearing can bn allowed in
the Court if you repeat the offence 1 shall com
'I vas not shwear dey lives uumber 9t
1-8 Vandham sthreet.'
"Ah the court understood you differently
we allow no profanity."
Subsequently tbe court sentenced tbe cul
prits to fifteen dollars fine each ten dollars
for killing (he stove and five dollars for call
ing Mrs. Von Schmidt "go lo h II." Rowdies
who expect such a contingency as an arraign
ment before Judge Cspron should be careful
bow lbey vitiate the vernacular.
There was once an old man whose wit was
heightened by drollery. Me was a tailor by
profesHon, but a Smith by name He was
accosttd by a well dressed young gent r-s fol
"I say, Mr. Smith, don't I owe yoi some
thing f Yes, you are the one I bought a pair
of pants of you last year, and promised to pay
at a tuture dry I'll settle now."
So saying, be produceu a twenty dollar bill.
and banded it to Smith. He (Smith) being un
willing to express his forget fulness, and being
short of Ihe "rihno," readily assented.
"Just give Itn dollars in change and all
will be right," said the dandy complacently;
but to his great surprise, the ragged tailor re
turned the note, saying with a smile:
"Uood money if you please sir."
He took it and handed good money but his
countenance spoke wonders. The tailor was
satisfied atthis manner of selling pants Phil.
An Amusing Mistake.
The Neva York Mirror says: "A gentleman
of Douul was going out in a carriage to make
some calls with his wife, when, discovering
that he had left his visiting cards, he ordered
his footman, recently come into his service to
goto ihe mantlepiece in his silting room, and
bring the cards he should see there. The ser
vant did as he was ordered, retained the arti
cles to be used as he wasoruered, and off star
led the gentleman, sending hi the footman
with cards wherever the "not at home" oc
curred. As those were very numerous, he
turned lo the servant with thequestion "How
many cards hsve you left?" "Well, fir,"
says the footman, very innocently, "there is
the king of spades, the six of hearts, and the
ace of clubs, "The deuce," exclaimed his
master. Thai's gone, "said John."
The Drunkard's Will.
I leave to society a ruined characler,
wretched example and memory that will toon
I leave to my parents during the rest of their
lives, as much sorio as humanity, in a feeble
and decrepid state can sustain.
lltavetomy brothers and sisters as much
of mortification and injury as I can well bring
I leave to my wife a broken heart, a life of
wretchedness, a shame to weep over my pre
I give and bequeath lo each of my children
poverty, ignorance, a low character, and the
remembrance that their lather was a monster.
ETA "fast"' youlh hsving crept to a chamber
window, and looked in upon a youg girl and
her "luvyer," who were talking soft nonsense
to esch other, (or more plainly "courting,"
the foci came subsequently to lha knoweledge
of the gallant, who asked
"How could you sloop, air, to do such busi
. "Stoop!" wss the icy reply, "I didn't sloop
I went up a ladder."" ' '
fty 'Pat you have dated your letter ahead
ii is not so late in the month by a reek.'
'Och, boy, and indrde it's me thst is want
swaie Kathleen to get it in advance of the
mail, snre; I'll: not rare if tbe gets it three
days beore It is written.' ,
' TJ "Among other Mesaiigs,". said Dr.
Franklin, "a man should, ibaok God for hit
vanity, because it makea him feel bappy."
Rates of Advertising.
One square (orlets) 3 insertions. - 1:(0
" ." . fcueh adililiooaiinerlicn, 2
" Three molilhs, .... I:ti0
" Sil months, 6.-C0
" Twelve months, .., 8:C0
One fourth at a oolumu per year, - 16:C0
half . -. - lb:C0
" column ' - " " 80:00
Al overs equareehargedatlwosquana.
IXAdverlitements inserted till forbid at
theexpense of the advertiser.XO
Executed atthis office with neatness and de
patch, at the lowest possible ralea.
A Rich Sermon.
Where is (he man with his hsrp of a thou
sand string: f
The following rich extraet from a sermon
will be recognized at a glance by some of ouc .
readers here at borne. It loses much of ita
humor, because we cannot put in print Ihe
peculiar sing song style and appropriate ges
tures that accompany it.
'My friends, am makea the purtiest young
manor woman in the world look ugly-ah.
And I'll tell you how I know-ah. As I waa
coming up lo church loday, 1 saw some youni;
men in Ihe road ah. And 1 thou tht one rf
them was the purtiesl young man I ever saw in
my life-ah. Ant, as 1 drew nii'h onto them.
I discovered they wire playiug of marvels, and
they all drew nigh unto the place lbey called
law, and they marveled ah. And this purty
young man was the last lo marvle-sh. And
when he marveled he jumped up and flapped
his hands, like a rooster docs his wings, and
says he, 'I wish I may be d d if I haul fat -ah.'
And Oh, my friends, then 1 thought that
wa the ugliest young man I ever saw in my
life-ah. And 1 opened my mouth and tpoke
unto him thus, says I, 'Young man, this is not
Ihe way to talvalion.' Aud snys be, 'Old
horse, if you had been salivated as bad as I
have, you would'nt want to hear talk of sali
vation.' And now, my friends, when that at' yonng
man said be was fat he told a lie-nh, for he
was as lean as that hungry-looking sister over
thar, that's always praying so piously when
the bat is being passed around-sh.
And, my friends, if that young man had not
been blinded by sin be never could a mistook
me lor an old horse.' Nea Madrid Timet.
Webster in Death.
Webster's forehead, renowned for ifs mas
sive bread'h and fullness, presented a much
smaller appes-ance as he ly in his coffin in
the library at Marshfield. An oidinary sized
hind could easily have covered tbe whole of il.
Perhaps this was owing lo the removal of the
brain. Before the open coffin was carried out
upon the Iswn, numbers placed their hands
up in that familiar brow, os they look their last
look. The lips were sligLtly parted, the teeth,
so long of extreme whiteness, were just per
ceptible. A strong resemblance remained be
tween the face of '.he dead and Ihe portrait of
ibe living Webster which hung upon the wall.
vwbere also looked down upon the corps the
pictures oi nis ueioveu son cuuaru, who men
in Mexico, and of Lord Ashburton, his friend,
distinguished for his part in the teltlemenl of
Ihe north-eastern boundary question. The
body, it will be remepibered, was clad in the
citizen'a dress he- best liked- blue coal and
bright buttons, white neckcloth, black ponta
loons and white silk gloves. There w no
expression of pain or melancholy upon the
swarthy face, but rntber a look of satisfaction.
When the coffin was carried down the steps
leading into the tomb, on of the silver han
dles was accidentally pressed auainst the gran
ile portal and lifted up. In the next moment
It was disengaged and fell wilh a knock against
the side of ihe coffin, which instantly disap
peared in the vault. To the writer, who alone
noticed the circumstance, trivial in itself. It
seemed like tbe knock of Death, announcing
thai ihe great man was shut fo river from the
world. The day was bright in Uie morning,
but clouded up just as the funarnl commenced,
and closed in rain. Button Pout.
The Flight from Kansas.
Robinson, indicted for treason and fleeing
from Lawrence and the Terriloiy of Kmisaa,
then captured at Lexington, and whr has since
been returned upon the requisition f the pro
per authorities of the Territory, to take his
trial upon the endiclmenls upon him; Keeder,
appointed to the office of Governor of the Ter
ritory, from which, after o few months of pro
bation, he was dismissed, because of his inca
pacity honestly to carry out Ihe orgaric law
then, without having received ony votes what
ever, contt sling ihe election of General Whit
field as a Delegate to Congress, and fiinally,
assuming to be Senator in Congress, in virtue
nfan election by Iwo or three dozen rebels at
Tope ka now hiding himself and fleeing from.
Ihe vengeance of the law, which he had set
at defiance; Dowrey, Ihe Governor's private
secretary running off in disguise, thinking the
Territory loo hot 'o bold him; Brown, the edi
tor of the Herald of Freedom, a paper estab
lished expressly lo create discord between the
Pro slavery and Ihe Abolition parties in Kan
sas, and contributing to that object by the
iuuli...vtion of foul calumnies against the peo
ple of Missouri and of the slave Males this
man, captured by a negro and now in custody;
others of the Abolition party already arrtsled,
and writs in Ihe hands of authorized offictrsfor
the persons of oilier law-breakers with these
facts ascertained, the probability seems to be
that peace will be preserved in the Territory
of Kansas. According to Ihe latest comin ni
cation.iof Redpath, the abolition correspond
ent of Ihe Missouri Dimocral, the citizens of
Lowrence, seeing the base desertion of Robin
son and Reeder, profess to be willing to submit
to "the law," and to abide by H.St,
Old Fashion Mother.
Ah! bow much meaning is comprised in Hat
simple expression, the old fashioned mother.
It carries our thoughts back to those women,
whose home influence was pure and elevating;
who taught their daughter lo render themselves
blessings to society by t eir goodness, their
diligence, their useful knowledge. We think
ol the lofty heroism the brave endurance, the
thousand virtues they inculcated,' and sigb at
the contrast between the past and the present.
How few modern mothers understand or per
form their duly in training their children. A
smattering of this, that, and Ihe other is con
sidered quite sufficient education, and to show
off to advantage is considered the great busi
ness of life. No wonder there are so many
desolate fire-sides, so many unhappy wives,
so many drinking and gambling husbands.
"Nakkd TauTii" It Osiom. '-Truth and
Falsehood, one day, met at river, and both
went to bath at Ihe same place. Kalaehoid
coming first out of the water, took bis com
panion's clothes, and left his own vile raiment
and then went on hit way. Truth coming out
of the water, sought in vain for bit own prop,
er diess, disdaining to wear the garb of False
hood. Truth started all naked in pursuit of
uie ioici, uui not uemg to awnioi loot, not
never overtaken the fngi'ive. . Ever aince ke
has be.n known as Naked Truth.
. YT Snlnmnn aiil thai when haltnntdin
- - - 1 1
tbe mud in Chesnul street, and lay ou but
(ck, a young Scotch lady of hia acquaint
ance, who came along, exclaimed "St low
monT" , .-..; i
tT"Why il ill bridegroom uiorr expensive
than tbe bride f B -cause th? bride la alwys
finm eirwy, while the biidegrooui is usually