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True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, February 22, 1855, Image 1

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P. B. CONN, PUBLISHER,
CORNER MARKET AND 4TH STS.
Z. RAGAN, Editor and Proprietor.
SPEECH OF .
Hon. W; B. Smith, of Alabama.
Tha jTatwaHiatUra Lawi The Boman Catho
Uo Charon.
(concluded.)
Early Humility of tub Roman Cath
olic BisHors.
In tho earlier history of tho Roman
Catholic Church, the bishops were meek
and lowly men, after the fashion 6f Pctor
nd Paul, the fisherman and tent maker.
They professed to be the sorvants of ser
vants. For six or seven centuries they
preserved their character for Christian hu
mility. I here quote from Bowers, the
author of an elaborate work the Lives of
the Popes. Ho was a Catholic himself
when ho began the work, but became a
Protestant in the course of his investiga
tions. Ho was not only a Catholic, but
a councillor of the inquisition at Nacorata.
Ho says :
"I do not believe that the Popes de
signed at first to run those lengths, or
carry the Papal prerogative to that extrav
agant height thoy afterwards did. The
success that attended them in the pursuit
of one claim encouraged them to set up
and pursue another. Of this no one can
doubt who peruses, with the least attention,
tho records of thoso ages, and compares
the Popes in the beginning of tho seventh
.century with the Popes in the latter end
of tho eleventh. We shall find them in
the first mentioned period of time, sub
mitting, with all humility, to princes,
claiming no authority or jurisdiction what
soever, but in virtue of the canons of coun
cils, or the rescripts of Emperors ; glory
ing, or pretending to glory, in the humble
title of servants of servants j acknowledg
ing themselves subjects and vassals of the
Emperors, and patiently waiting the will
and pleasure of their liege lords, to take
upon them the Episcopal dignity, or exer
cise tho functions of that office. Such
were the Bishops of Rome in the begin
ning of the seventh century. How differ
ent frrm those in the latter end of the
eleventh! They were then vested with
the plentitude of all power, both spiritual
and temporal ; above councils, and uncon
trolled by their canons ; the fountain of
all pastoral jurisdiction and authority ; and
by Divino sanction, impowered to enact,
establish, abrogate, suspend, all ecclesias
tical laws and constitutions; they were
then become lords and masters the most
haughty and imperious lords, the most se
vere masters mankind had ever groaned
under. They no more begged, but dis
pensed titles, "boasting a power of setting
up Kings, and pulling them down at pleas
ure ; of calling them to an account, absol
ving their subjects from allegiance, dives
ting them of their dominions, and treating,
in every respect, as their slaves and vas
sals, those whom one of their best and
greatest predecessors had acknowledged
superior to all men, and thought himself
in duty bound to obey. This plenitude of
power, as they style it, was not acquired at
once, but by degrees, some of tho Popes
being more jnd some less aotive, crafty
and aspiring. But what is very remarka
ble of the one hundred and fourteen Popes
between Boniface III., who laid the foun
dation of Papal grandeur, and Gregory
VII,, who raised it to the highest pitch,
not one ever lost an inch of ground his
predecessor had gained. And thus, by
constantly acquiring, and never parting
with what they acquired, and by tying the
hands of their successors by the irreversa-
bio entail of Divine right, they became
the Bole spiritual lords, and had almost
made themselves tho greatest temporal
lords of the whole of the Christian world."
Gradual Rise or mi Roman Cath
olic Church..
For seven hundred years, as I have sta
ted, the Bishops were meek and lowly men.
It was in the dark ages, when ignorance
and superstition overshadowed the world
when the Popes advanced to power. And
it was not until the days of Gregory VII,
in the eleventh century, that a Pope had
the audacity to say to a monarch : " You
have forfeited your kingdom, and your
subjects are absolved from their oath of
fealty." In tho case of Henry IV., the
Pope declared, that the "Emperor was
anienablo to the Papal court of judicature.
Ufore h was summoned. He was next
ffleeMg $wtnral, gtboteltr to American fntmsts, fitatere, Science anb
deprived of his throne, and his subjects
were absolved from their oath of allegi
ance! The Pope claimed tho right to dis
pose of Henry's enipiro, with absolute au
thority as a fief of St. Peter ! This case
was referred to and detailed and justified
by tho honorable gentleman from Pennsyl
vania, Mr. Chandler. The same gentle
man admits :
"Undoubtedly, tie Popo has proceeded
to dethrone Kings,and thus to release sub
jects. History declares that more than
one monarch has been made to descend
from his throne by1 the edict of tho Popes,
and that the allcgiinco of his subjects has
been transferred, by that edict, to a suc
ceeding monarch.'
This is an aduission tho argument
would be quite sufecient for our purpose.
Tut beforo I proctcd to reply to the gen
tleman from Pennsylvania, I propose to es
tablish tho historical fact, that for six or
seven hundred year, the Bishops of Rome
(tho Popes,) have .claimed and exercised
tho right as a divine right to depose
monarchs, and to absolve their subjects.
In 663, the Emperor Constans, went to
Rome, tho Pope went out six miles, with
all his clergy, to meet him, and attended
him, during his stijy in Rome, as his lord
and master. But in 1161, Henry II., and
Louis of France, "met the Popo, and they
gave him such mars of respect that they
both dismounted toreccive him, and hold
ing each of them, ne of the reins of his
bridle, walked on iwt by his side, and
conducted him in. fliat manner into the
castle a spectacle to God, angels, and
men, and such as had never beforo beon
exhibited to the worW."
About this period, began the serious
disturbances between the Kings ef Eng
land and the Pope. Hume says :
"The usurpation 6f the clergy, whioh
had at first been gradual, were now be
come so rapid, and had mounted to such
a height that the contest between the re
gal and pontifical was really arrived at a
crisis in England, and it becomes necessa
ry to determine whether the King or the
Priests, particularly the Arohbishop of
Canterbury, should be sovereign of the
kingdom."
The War between Thomas A. Beck
et and Henry II.
Tho memorable history of this struggle
cannot fail to be interesting, as well as
profitable, in this investigation. Henry
had appointed Bocket Archbishop of Can
terbury. Becket had made himself a fa
vorite with the Kings as well as with the
people
"Tho pomp of his retinue, the suniptu
ousness of his furniture, the luxury of his
table, tho munificence of his1 presents, ex
ceeded anything that England had ever
before seen in any subject.
"But no sooner was Becket installed in
this high dignity, which rendered him,
for life, the Becond person in the kingdom
with BOine pretensions of aspiring to be the
first, than he totally altered his demeanor
and conduct, and endeavored to acquire
tho character of sanctity. He wore sack
cloth next his skin, which, by his affected
oare to conceal it, was necessarily the more
remarked by all the world. He changed
it so seldom, that it was filled with dirt and
vermin. His usual diot was bread, his
drink water. He tore his back with the
frequent discipline whioh he inflicted on
it ; he daily, on his knees, washed, in im
itation of Christ, the feet of thirteen beg
gars, whom he afterwards dismissed with
presents; he gained the affections of the
monks by his frequent charities to the con
vents and hospitals ; and all mon of pene
tration plainly Baw that he was meditating
some great design, and that the ambition
and ostontation of his character had turned
itsolf towards a new and more dangerous
object.
"Becket waited not till Henry should
commence those projects against the eccle
siastical power. He was himself the ag
gressor, and endeavored to overawo the
King by tne intrepidity and boldness of
his enterprises.
"The eoolesiastics in that ago had re
nounced all immediate subordination to the
magistrate ; they openly pretended to an
exemption in criminal accusations from a
trial before courta of justice J and were
gradually introducing a like exemption in
civil causes j npiritual penalties alone'could
STEUBENVILLE,
be inflicted on their offences ; and, as the
clergy had extremely multiplied in Eng
land, and many of them were, consequent
ly, of very, low characters crimes of the
deepest dye, murders, robberies, adulter
ies and rapes were daily committed with
impunity, by ecclesiastics. It had been
found, for instance, that no less than a
hundred murders had, sinco the accession
of the King, been perpetrated by men of
that profession, who had never been called
to account for these offences; and holy
orders 'were become a full protection for
all these enormities." Hume.
Henry, however, persevered, until he
procured the enactment of tho constitu
tions of Clarendon, in which he gained a
signal victory over all the English eccle
siastics, except the invincible Becket, who
refused obedienee to the constitutions of
Clarendon, until, abandoned by all the
world, he was obliged to submit, and to
promise "legally, with good faith, and
without fraud or reserve." But Henry
was still baffled. . He sent his constitu
tions of Clarendon to Pope Alexander,
"and required that Pontiff's ratification of
them ; but Alexander condemned them in
the strongest terms abrogated, annulled,
and rejected them."
Becket then repented of his consent;
"and endeavored to engage all the other
Bishops in a confederacy to adhere to
their ecclesiastical privileges. Henry, in
formed of Becket's present dispositions,
applied to tho Pope that ho should grant
the commission of legate in his dominions,
but Alexander, as politio as he, though he
granted tho commission, annexed a clause
that it should not empower tho legate to
execute any act in prejudice to the Arch
bishop of Canterbury." The King, how
ever, persevered until he triumphed over
Becket, for the primate was "condemned
of a contempt of the King's court, and as
wanting in the fealty which he had sworn
to his sovereign ; all his goods and chat
ties were confiscated."
But this war still raged between the
King and Becket. The Primate defied
the King. "He put himself and his See
under the protection of tho supreme Pon
tiff." About this time Becket fled from
the kingdom, and was received by the
Pope with tho greatest marks of distinc
tion. He was not idle in his banishment.
But it is fruitless, and a waste of time,
to give all the details of this quarrel ; yet
it created more intense interest and ex
citement in Europo than had ever, or has
ever, been felt in any of those great wars,
n whioh armies annihilated each other !
Finally, plenipotentiaries on both sides
were appointed to negotiate a treaty of
peace 1 And the King had to surrender
his pretensions, in order to relieve his
Ministers from the sentence of excommu
nication, which Bcekct, even in his exile,
had thundered against them 1 Here is a
history of the terms of the treaty.
"Becket was not required to give up
any rights of the church, or resign any of
thoso pretensions, which had been the
original ground of tho controversy. Beck
et and his adherents were to be restored to
all their livings, and even the possessors of
such benefices, as had been filled during
the Primate's absence, should be expelled,
and Becket have liberty to supply the va
cancies. In return for concessions which
entrenched so deeply on the honor and
dignity of tho Crown, Henry reaped only
the advantage of seeing his Ministers ab
solved from the sentence of excommunica
tion, and of preventing the interdict which,
if those hard conditions had not been com
plied with, was ready to be laid on all his
dominions. . So anxious was Henry to ac
commodate all differences, and, to reconcile
himself fully with Becket, that he took
the most extraordinary steps to flatter his
vanity, and even, on one occasion, humili
ated himself, so far as to hold the Btirrup
of that haughty prclato when he mounted."
Here you soe, sir, in the twelfth cen
tury, a shining instance of the complete
triumph of tho power of the Pope over tho
haughtiest and most powerful monarch in
Europe. And the supremo autocracy of
the Archbishops is strikingly illustrated
in the fact, that no soonor had Becket re
turned to his diocese, than he began thun
dcring his excommunications against his
enemies, bo lately "the King's friends and
coadjutors."
OHIO, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 1855.
What is an excommunication? The
excominunica'tion of a King, the interdict
of a kingdom, is illustrated in the history
of King John, the son of Henry the II.
The power and authority which the Arch
bishop of Canterbury .had acquired, by
Becket's triumph over Henry, shows itsolf
in the next reign; and the King and
kingdom of England are placed, under in
terdict, the effect of which may be seen,
by the following historical account of it.
"The nation was, of a sudden, deprived
of all exterior exercise of its religion ; the
alters were despoiled of their ornaments;
tho crosses, the reliques, the images, the
statues of the saints, were laid on tho
ground, and, as if the air itself were profa
ned, and might pollute them by its con
tact, the Priests carefully covered them
up, even from their own approach and ven
eration. The use of bells entirely ceased
in all the churches ; the bells themselves
were removed from the steeples and laid
on the ground, with the other sacred uten
sils; mass was celebrated with shut doors,
and none but the priests wero admitted to
that holy institution. The laity partook
of no religious rito, except baptism to
newly born infants, and the communion to
the dying. The dead were not interred in
consecrated ground; they wero thrown
into ditches, or baried in common fields ;
and their obsequies were not attended
with prayers, or any hallowed ceremony.
Marriages were celebrated in the church
yard ; and that every action of life might
bear tho marks of this dreadful situation,
the people were prohibited the use of
meat, as in lent, or times of the highest
penance ; were debarred from all pleasures
and entertainmonts, and even to salute
each other, or bo much as to shave their
beards and give any decent attention to
their person and apparel. Every circum
stance carried symptoms of the deepest
distress, and of the most immediate appre
hension of divino vengeance and indigna
tion." Such is the force and power of an in
terdict; it can be better imagined than
described.
In the excommunication of a King, all
his adherents are included. John was
excommunicated; and the sentence pro
ceeded to absolve all John's subjeots from
their oaths of fidelity and allegiance, and
to declare every one excommunicated who
had any commerce with him, cither in
publio or in private ! In vain did King
John attempt to hold out against the Pope,
and he was finally driven to subscribe to
all the conditions which the Pope was
pleased to impose upon him.
Not only did the popal power presume
to hurl its thunders of excommunication
against individuals and Kings, but against
assemblages of people, for whatsoever pur
pose met. together. It is interesting to
note, in the same reign of John, that after
the disgrace of the King, the Barons met
and adopted "Magna Charta." But the
Popo, (Innocent) "considering himself as
feudal lord of the kingdom," issued a bull,
in which, from the plenitude of his Apos.
tolio power, and -'from the authority which
God had committed to him, to build and
destroy kingdoms, to plant and overthrow,"
he annulled and abrogated the wholo char
ter, and pronounced a general excommuni
cation against every one who should perse
vere in maintaining suoh treasonable and
iniquitous pretensions !
These historical facts 8how not only the
grasping and aspiring inclinations of the
Pope, but prove tho absolute supremacy of
his temporal power as it existed in the thir
teenth century. Similar scenes and simi
lar struggles to these already described in
England, were of continual occurrence in
all the countries in which, at that day, the
Romish Church had foothold 1 It needed
but little a Blight offonce was sufficient to
cause this arrogant Pontiff to turn loose his
anathoinatio bull 1 and the furious animal,
blinded with a thousand curses, rushed
madly amid tho indiscriminate masses of
mankind!
It seems strange to us of this age nay,
sir, we are astounded when wo look thro'
the telescope of centuries, and behold afar
off, in a dim chambor, a foeblo old man,
alone as it were, holding his court amid the
deserted ruins of an ancient city, without
an army, without a fleet, without a sword,
weighing in the hollow of his hand the
mighty empires of the world. Conquering
mankind with no weapon but arrogance,
with no power but the all-invincible super
stitions which surround his throne 1
And, to uphold this arrogance, he had
his faces of brass, and his arms of iron, in
overy nation ; and to spread this supersti
tion, he had his cowled emissaries prowl
ing all over the face of the earth.
And these cowled emissaries, who were
they? History, with its burning scroll,
declares them to have been the most de
graded and degrading of mankind, given
to all the sins and iniquities that human
flesh, in its weakness, is given to.
But, it is said, there is no more danger
of the encroachment of Popery. The Ref
ormation redeemed men and kingdoms.
The nations of the earth are freed from the
chains of superstition ; and the Pope is now
but a sort of innocent father confessor to
tho priests. Sir, be not deceived. When
the lion sleeps, who is so foolish'as to'ap
proach him in his slumbers ? A mouse
has too much sagacity to approach a snor
ing cat, as if in its small cranium could be
crowded tho grand idea "eternal vigilance
is tho price of liberty." The Reformers
prevailed The Pope surrendered nothing.
He retired in sullen silence to the gloomy
recesses of the Vatican, to brood over his
fallen fortunes ; to frame new forms of cur
ie; to learn how to damn with intense
gusto, and to mingle the wine of the Sa
craments in the ink with which he wrote
his anathemas, in imitation of one of his
infallible predecessors. No, sir, the Pope
was not dead ; "the snake was scotched,
not killed."
True it is, sir, that the "thunders of the
Vatican" no longer shook the corners of
the earth. The Pope sat in his quiet court.
seemingly feeble in every respect, as if
waiting for a gentle and immortalizing
martyrdom. Ho who had yesterday been
the builder of kingdoms, tho maker of mon
archs, and the destroyer of constitutions,
was now tho weakest of mankind. But we
find him shaking his puny arm over Henry
the Eighth, and grinding his teeth at
Queen Elizabeth.
Impotent old man I He could find but
one man in England who had the temerity
to circulate his excommunication of Eliza
beth.
But the honorable gen tloman from Penn
sylvania disclaims for himself, and for cer
tain colleges and councils, that the Pope
claims any power to depose or interfere
with monarchs, or to absolve their subjects.
His personal disclaimer can amount to
nothing except so far as the gentleman
himself is concerned. The disclaiming of
the colleges and councils amount to nothing
except so far as tho individuals are con
cerned who compose tho colleges and coun
cils. Besides being in tho face of the his
torical acts of the Romish Church for six
or eight centuries, they are positively con
tradicted by the legal Catholic book of Do
Maistre.
The English editor of Do Maistro's pro
found work claims "Tho temporal throne
as the patrimony of the Galilean fisher
man," (St. Peter.)
The bull which excommunicated Henry
IV., claims the power expressly "ex parte
omnipotentis dei."
Tho bull of excommunication against
King John, the interdict laid upon Eng
land and the Magna Charta, expressly claim,
by words, the power as given by God to St.
Peter, "to build and pull down kingdoms."
Hume, 299.
If the power was given by God, what
right has the pope to surrender it ? He
would be faithless to surrender it. "He is
infallible,", says the Church. Therefore
he cannot err. Therefore ho cannot sur
render a divine right. Therefore he has
not surrendered it. Therefore the propo
sition of the honrable gentleman from Mas
sachusetts, Mr. Banks, "that the Roman
Pontiff has never, in authoritative form,
disclaimed the right," remains still to be
answered, notwithstanding tho complacen
cy of the gcntloman from Pennsylvania.
Tho collegos may be allowed to publish
what they please, so long as they stick to
the interest of the Church, for the time be
ing, and so long as they promote tho in
tcrcst of the Church in tho particular place
where questions tony be discussed. The
Tope will not call them to account, until
the interest of the Church should make it
Central itldlipce.
necessary todenounce their heresies. When
that bcooiues necessary, the Pope uill act
and denounce their colleges, and excom
municate and damn all who presume to ut
ter such doctrines. This would be in' ac
cordance with tho history of the Romish
Churoh. The councils of the Romish
Church are in the habit of condemning the
doctrines and decrees of the preceding
councils. What can be considered stable
in that Church, sir, which docs not scruple
to condemn its own Pope as a heretic long
after he is dead ! A general council, which
Bishop England, in a letter read by the
gentleman from Pennsylvania, declared to
"be infallible in doctrinal decrees," con
demned Pope Honorious as a Heretic !
and some of his doctrines as heretical ! If
they can condemn a dead Pope as a here
tic, what may they not do with persons,
colleges and bishops ! Honorius as a Pope,
being infallible, must have gone to heaven
upon his death. The Romish Church in
culcates the idea that the Pope is bound
to go to heaven. But, sir, in the case of
Honorious, the council pronounced him a
heretic (while he was in heaven,) and as a
hcrotio cannot go to heaven, the council,
of course, put him in purgatory, by their
decree of condemnation 1 1 and this Church,
by their decree, virtually denies the pow
ers of Jesus Christ to keep this heretical
Pope in heaven. Sir, how long will it be
before St. Peter shall be condemnod for
his old sin of denying his Master ? . How
long is St. Peter safe in tho bosom of his
Lord ? He wul never be safe, sir, so long
as the Romish Church shall pretumt. I
have no doubt he is alive to serious appre
hensions. I have no doubt that since the
condemnation of ITonorioua, his immortal
soul has been jarred every time the cock
crovst.
I propose no law to invade tho sanctity
of the Roman Catholic altar or to touch,
with rude hands, the sacerdotal robe. I
invoke public opinion. I would exposo its
absurdities, rebuke its idolatries, ridicule
its mockeries. Sir, to see tho unlettered
Peruvian bowing and kneeling to the
sun, and worshiping it as the Great God
of light an admitted omnipotence-Ms
not surprising ; nay, sir, there is something
awfully solemn, grand and ennobling in
the superstition. It exhibits the open and
humblo admission of an over-ruling Divin
ity. But to see the best educated men of
the country bowing down to images and
baptizing bells, to scare away, with their
sounds, the evil spirits of the air, is, in.
deed, humiliating.
Sir, we do not wish our children taught
that a bell can tcare away the devil. We
wish to tench American wives that their
wives are their only confessors; American
children that their fathers and mothers aro
their only confessors. To correct thess
evils we invoke publio opinion, and pro
claim that wo intend to practice party pro
scription. We ask no law ; but give us a
pure ballot box,
And let no native suppose that he has
before him on easy task. The Roman
Catholic Church has already acquired im
mense power in America. Their system
is, never to relinquish an inch of soil.
They do not build log cabins to preach in ;
they mako no perishable plank houses to
preach in. They aro not humble enough
for that. They lcavo that to the licrctkal
Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, and
others. In their swaggering pride, they
forget that tho fathers of the Churoh wero
"fishermen" and "tcnt-makcrs." When
they build an edifice, its foundation is laid
deep in American soil, and its spires rise
high into the American heavens. They
are already millions 1 This enemy is for
midable. Then let every man go to work
let every Protestant be a pcntincl on the
watch towers of liberty.
8T"Boys," said a village pedagogue
tho other day, "what is tho meaning of
all that noise in the school ?" "Why, sir,
it is Bill Sikes, who is all tho timo iniita
ting a locomotive." "Come up hore, Bil
Sikes ; if you have turned into a looomo-
tive, it is high time you were switched
off." '
The Control Ohio Railroad, according
to tho report of the President, lows $95,
628,01, by the failure of Gch. Lnrimer, of
Pittsburgh. So says the Wellsburg Her-
aid.
J2.PER ANNUM;-
HrVAEIAELY 15 ADVANCE. v
VOLUME I. NUMBER 8.
A SPEC. ,
A podlcr of tin ware, who had been
travelling from plantation to plantation,
with his cargo of "notions," found but a
limited sale for his lanterns, an article of
which he had a large stock. In despair of
getting rid of them, he offered them at
what he called "a very reduced price,"
yet he found purchasers as scarce as clover
in sand hills. At length a tavern keeper
directed him to a fanner, who he said,
was very muoh in want of the articlo. To
the house of this ready customer went
Jonathan, determined to get his trouble's
worth out of him. Tho first person ho
met was tho overseer, who was lounging
by the side of the road, "You don't want
to buy a lantern, do ye?" asked Jonathan.
"Yes, though I reckon I do," returned
tho overseer ; "how much mought you aslc
for one?"
"Only thirty-seven and a half cents."
"Well, 'sposo you gin me one."
"The pedler accordingly gave him a lan
tern, and receiving his money proceeded
onwards.
"You don't want to buy a first rate lan
tern, do you ?" Baid ho to the overseer's
wife, who was washing clothes at tha
spring.
"Yes," was the reply, "Mr. B. has been
wanting one this long while."
Jonathan accordingly served her but ona
at the same price ho had bargained with,
her husband for. At the barn, before ha
reached the farm-house, he mot the son
of the planter "You don't want to buy
no lanterns, do you?"
"I don't want one myself," replied the
young man, "but I'll take one for father,
who has been after one this long while.'
Jonathan now pocketed another thirty-
seven and a half cents, and became ona
lantern lighter. He now advanced boldly
up to the house, and meeting the old lady
at the door, immediately put the question
to her "You don't want to buy no first
rate- lanterns, do you ?"
"Indeed, but I do," said the old lady,
"my husband has been wanting one these
six months past and I'm' glad you've
como."
Jonathan accordingly deposited a Ian
tern with her, and received in return
another thirty-seven and a half cents. He
now departed, almost satisfied with tha
spec he had made. At some distance
from tho houso, in a field by tho sido of
the road, ho espied the old gentleman
himself, and hailed him with the old ques
tion "You don't Want to buy no first-rate
lanters, do you ?"
"How much do you ask apieco ?" inqui
red tho planter.
"Fifty cents," replied tho tin pedler,
"and I guoss that's cheap enough, consid
ering they've come all the way from Con
necticut" "Well, I'll take ono," said tho old gen
tleman, putting his hand in his pocket.
"Had'nt you better tako half a dozen ?"
askod Jonathan, "there's no knowing when
a tin merchant may pass this way again?.'
If you'll tako a half dozen, I'll lot you
have them for thirty-seven and a half
cents apiece." Tho planter took him at
bis word and tho pcdlcr took to his route
after having disposed of ten lanterns.
JO-Harry Erskinc, of a. facetious mem
ory, was retained for a femalo named
Tickle, against whom an action had been
brought. On the trial, he commenced hit
address to tho court thus: "Tickle, my
client, tho defendant my lord." Tho au
dience, amused with the oddity of tha
speech, were almost driven into hysterica
by the judge replying : Tickle her your
self, Harry 1 you aro as well ab'o to do it
as il." ' - -i
t"What did you hang that cat for,
Isaac ?" asked the school teacher. Tha
boy lookod tip and gravely answered, "For
mew-tiny, marm." He had fifty marks
immediately put down to his name.
QAn English writer says, you can tell
when you are surroundod by; a doion
Amoricans by the following test t Three
will be smoking cigars, and the other nine
reading newspapers. . . .? t--,r.
A
V' ' !
1
V
--
a

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