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Common PUa Judge, - Willi lie Reed
Probate Judge, - - TnoxAS Aemok.
Prosecuting Attorney, - CF. Voonnrs.
County CUrt, - - - JonsS.OHE.
SIxrij, .... Jams .. McCOMB.
Auditor, - - - Joseph II. Newto.v.
Treasurer, - - JACOB CBIEBTHOLilES.
Recorder, ... Geoboe L. Cook.
(Jesse A. Habeis,
COMmiOTWr, - 5.TAC0B Fisnr-R,
Surveyor. - - - Joshca Epoxacle.
Conner, - - - Heset Shaffer.
Infirmary Director, WonsSniBF,
ST. JOHNS CONGREGATION.
GEI1MAX SERVICE BY KEV. J. SPOERRL
every Sabbath morning, at 10 o'clock, fcab-
EVANG. LUTHERAN CHURCH.
SEEVICES KVEET OTHEE SABBATH AF-
eraoon, 07 imv. John culler.
EVANG. LUTHERAN CHURCH. U. P. CHURCH.
KEV. W. JL GIBSON, I'ASTOE. nOUES FOB
Service at 11; o'clock, A. jf. Sabbath school
at 10X: o'clock, a; u. I'raycrmeetlngThurs
day evenings aXly, o'clock.
rev. a. 9. inxnoLLAXD, pastor, MO fix
ing service at 11 o'clock, baooatn school
13x o'clock. Evening service 1)6 o'clock.
i-rayer meeting every neanesaay evening at
t;i o clock.
ELDER WJt SIIAKP, PASTOR. HOURS
for service 11 O'clock, a. k. babbath school
9 o'clock. Evening service 7f o'clock.
Prayer meeting Wednesday evening atTJf
Railway Time Tables.
Railway Time Tables. Cleveland. Mt. Vernon & Delaware R. R.
Ex. St, Mail. Accom'dn.
Leave Millersbnrg, S37A.1l. 1:19P.M.
Fredericksburg, 5:51 " Sic "
" Apple Creek, 31 " 237 '
" Orrville, 7.-03 " 33J "
" llarsballville, 7:17 " 43 "
" Akron, 8:10 " 857 "
Arr.atClcvclcnd, 10:10 " 9.-SU "
L eavo Cleveland, 3:45 P.M.
" Akron, 730 A.M. 037
" Marthallvill, 633 " 639 "
" Orrville, 933 " 0:14 "
" Applo Crock, 10.-08 " 7:1S "
" Fredcrlcksb'rg.lOCT " 733 "
Arr.atAlUlcrsburg, 1134 " 8:01 "
R. C. HURD President.
R. C. HURD President. C. A. JONES, Superintendent.
Pittsburg. Ft. Wayne & Chicago R. R.
J6y0n and after June 12th, 1670, trains trill
cave iwitiuui uaim uuuuaj . uuvjiku, ni
lows: Train leaving Chicago at 635 P. M.
leave, ally.) (Trains leaving Pittsburg at
iu a. aif leaves u&uy.
TRAINS GOING WEST.
. 2J5F.X. 6.43A.K.
3J " BSD "
bjo iaa "
LS0 " 10.53 "
6.40 11.15 "
8.18 " 1.23 "
a43 2.01 "
10.20 " 4.02 "
10J0 " 4.40 "
11XO " (j.tt)A.K.
119 " 6.28 "
d 7X0 "
1)A.M. S.03 "
33 " 11J3 "
3.40 " 11 JO "
6.10 " SJOp.lf.
S JO " 030 "
TRAINS GOING EAST.
Exn'ss. Em'RR. M.i!L Etii'sr.
Chicago, ll.MA.lt. 0.20P.X. 6.10A.U. 5J5P.X.
Plymontn, ixop.u. ijjja.h. djo " .s "
Lima, 4.40 " a03 3.15 " ISO "
Uncyrns, 6.15 " 10.45 " 6X0 " 3X2 "
C.Hin.I art.40" 11.15" 6.20" 420 "
crcstnnej d65 12.05p.1t. 6.0OA.11. 40"
Mansfield, 7.1G " 12J4 " 6.42 " 6.00 "
Wooster, RS " 2.01 " &23 " CL23 "
Orrville, 8.43 " 437 " 8X7 " 63 "
MassiUon, flX6 1X8 " 9.T, " 7.17 '
Canton, 0.19 " 3.13 " 8.57 73 "
Alliance, ar9M " 3J0" 10-a" aa0"
Alliance,! jgjj,, u ,,.00" R40 "
Salem, 10J8 " 4.23 " 11.40 " 9.08
iiocncetcr, C172 "
2.05P.1T. 10X2 "
Pittsburgh, 12J0A.lt 7.03 "
3.15 " 11X5 "
F R. MYERS. Gen. Ticket Agent.
J. POMERENE, II. D.,
Ohio. Office On Mala St, 4 doors East of
mejjanr. uuco Donrs n eanesdays, rrom
1 to 5 o'clock P. M.t and on Saturdays from 9
E. H. VORHES, M. D.,
rnYBlCIAN & SURGEOX, MILLERSBUKG,
Ohio. Qffloo with Dr. Pomerenc. lm.
P. T. POMERENE,
PHYSiaAN AND 6UEGEON, BEELIK,
W. SI. ROSS, M. D.,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, MILT.ERS
bnrr, Ohio. Olfico First door West of Cor
ner formerly occupied by Mulvanc. Resi
dence, second door south of T. II. Raiff's
corner. Office days, Wednesday and Satur
day afternoons. ltf
J. G. BIGHAM, II. D.,
PHYSICIAN SURGEON, MILLERSBURG.
Ohio. Ofilco and Residence, at outu iart of
Washington Street. ltf
DR. S. WILSON,
PHYSICIAN AND SUEGEON, OFriCE AND
Residence, Wose IJberty Street, Wooster, O.
All accounts considered duo as soon as servi
ces arc rendered. 3 to
W. R. POMEROY,
MECnANICAX. OPERATIVE DENTI3T,
Millersburg. Ohio. Office Two doors West
of Commercial Block. ltf
T. L. PIERCE,
PRACTICAI. 4 OPERATIVE DENTIST, CT
Staire in Ilcrzer's Building, opposite the
Book Store. All work executed in tho best
possible manner, and warranted to give the
best satistaction. ltf
G. W". EVERETT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, MILLERSBURG,
L. E. nOAOLAKS. n. P. S'DOWELL
nOAGLAXD & JIcDOVTELL,
ATTORNEYS AT XAW, MILLERSBURG, O.
Office Second floor in McDowell's building,
west of the Court House. ltf
JOHN" vr. VORLTES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, MILLEESBURG, O.
Office over tho Book Store. ltf
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE. COLLECTIONS
promptly made. Office above tho Book
A. .T. HAMPSON, Proprietor. Pasecngcrs
conveyed to ami fromtheCars, frecof charpc.
J-Gcncral btago Office. ltf
WEST END MAIN STREET, MILLERS
bnrg, Ohio, JOSEPH BrTLEB, Proprietor.
This Houso is in good order, and its guests
will be well caredfor. ltf
J. 11. Kocn. J.1LKOCU.
J. B. KOCH & SON,
Proprietors of tho Auebioas Hotel, East
Liberty Street, Wooster, O. ltf
P. TV. BAHL,
LAND AGENT AND NOTARY PUBLIC,
Fredanla, Wilson County, Kansas. 4tf
A. JT. SHEPLER,
STUDIO OF PHOTOGRAPHY,
Corner of JUaln end Clay Streets,
MILLBRBBTJRGr, - - OHIO.
My Facilities for Doing
BB-I make INDIA INK PICTURES a
ZJyM take the beautiful Berlin and Rcm-
oranuc i nolo.
CiII anil Sco Specimens. PIioUisTinteil
LADIES' HOOP SKIRTS,
Latest style?, and prices to suit,
lmS At thelUOOK faTOJIE.
Holmes County Republican.
A Political and Family Journal, Devoted to the Interests of Holmes County, ami Local and General Intelligence.
Vol. I. Millersburg, Holmes County, 0., Thursday, Oct. 6, 1870. No. 7.
Macedonian Oil !
For Internal and External Use.
It cares 90 cases ont of 100. on an atprapf"
oxer the conntry, anl will pmitively lienJt
CTCrroncusinz it. no matter hotr urpr thf
Headache and Earache,
Pore Throat, Sprains aud Bruises,
Cholera 3Iorbus In 30 minutes,
Neuralgia In 30 minutes,
Tains in bido or Hack,
Deilncas, Positive Cure,
Cranio Colic in 3 minnles.
DlDtlierii. Bronchial AtTertlnns. ?roriila.
Catarrh in the Head. Tiles, Tetter, Contracted
Cords, Derangement of the Llrer, Kidnev,
Painful Sweninps raralysii?, btlff and En-
f QWi V1UU A. 11.9, J. ,
DR. IN GRAHAM'S
H ACED01TIA1T OIL!
principles of a comiwund oil ever sol5 in the
uniiea states or in tne wona. xiicre arc many
preparations occred called Ous, which arc not
oils, bat only cheap ttberal comounds. The
Macedonian comnound Is an OiL and has dem
onstrated itself to le the greatest wonder of
wo linn century. ro one hundred remedies
combined bare one-half the rnmtivr nmiwr-
ties possefsed by the Macedonian, even though
READ WHAT T.HE PEOPLE SAY.
For Information write toanvonnnf ihe unr-
uvj, auu iuc I nuii.iiuciiuii JHiner iWll. lie
kivc juu auuii; auu rusiuunce, logetncrwitn
aiseaso cured. Go and sec them and
be convinced that a Medicine can be offered
wiuioui ueing proved to ue a numbug.
1 Lady of 73 Years Cured or Rheuma
tism. 85 Be AVER AVENXK, )
Jfessrt. InarahaiA Jb Co. Gait.: I suffered 23
years with Khenmatlsm in ray bin Joints. I
was tortured with pain until my hip was de
formed. I used every thing that I beard of
without obtaining any relief, until alwut two
weeks ago I commenced using your Macedo
nian Oil. I am now cured, and can walk to
market, a thing I have not been able to do for
twenty years, i am gratciu.iv yours.
Cured of Deafness of Eighteen Years
Reading: Pa., Oct. 2d, 18C9L
Dr. Inarakam C. G&nl.r I reside n"l!
Mifflin street, Heading, Ta.; was totally Deaf
lauau x.ar. ana ininianv ife.ii mine omer. lor
viutuea years, lour Jiaccuonian uu nas en
tirely cured me, and 1 now hear as well as I
ever heard from both cars, and know of others
of my neighbors who have used the Oil with
tho same brncflclal results. Hoping that I
mav be the means of doinir rou troou. as, well
as tho sufferers of Deafness, (by recommending
The Pittsburgh Stating XaiL of Sept. 4th
says; MOnc of the attaches of this paper, while
suffering almost a martyrdom from Toothache
and Neuralgia was cured within live minutes
vj wo useoi ur.ingranam s jaaccuonianuiu
Head what Dr. Raymond says about Dr.
Ingrahaiivs Macedonian Od.
Allegheny Cut, Pa., July 29, 1ST0.
Dr.S. IT. Ingraham, "U'oostcr, Ohio:
Dmr Sir: It does seem to me that you do not
advertise your Macedonian Oil for all its mer
its deserve. I have traveled over one thousand
miles and treated with your oil more than five
thousand natients. succc&sfullv. Manv cases
of Paralvsis I have cured In two weeks many
of them had baffled skillful physicians of their
localities. Nor can you speak too highly of its
curative properties incases of Deafness orCa
tarrb. I never believed in any infallible rem
edy, but I do believe the Oil to be Infallible for
Catarrh, and I defy anybody to contradict it
after using it. I may further add, that for Kid
ncy Diseases, of any kind, that its approved
medical qualities render it the most efficient.
Don't be afraid to advertise it in strong lau
guage. The Oil will prove it.
lours, very respcciimiv,
C.T. 1EAYMOXD, JL D.
Cares Catarrh and Rheumatism.
Cantos, O., Dec. 3, ?CS.
Inaralam & Co. Gent.: T take Treasure in
stating that aftersnfl'eringfrom Catarrh in the
head for about five years, at some periods
much more than at others. I have leen en
tirely cured by the use of Ingraham's Macedo
nian Oil. My friends know that of late years
caso has been an extreme one. I had great
sufferings by times, but am at present entirely
free from pain in the head feel quite like a
new man. I cheerfully recommend itto oth
ers for Catarrh. I have only used three One
Dollar Bottles, which I believe has effected a
permanent cure. I have also used it for
lieu mat ism. and have been greatly benefitted
Will Yon Please Read This 1
Reaping, Pa., Jan, 12, 1BC9.
Mr. VTm. C Krousc, Kn. 203 South Fifth St,
says the Macedonian Oil is the only thing
which has given strength to his broken arm!
used it in his family for Earache, Neural
gia, and frosted feet, performing in each case a
wonderfully quick and radical cure.
E. Fox. Dronrietor of Kevstone Houc. certi
fies that three bottles of the Oil cured a strain
ia a horse, valuing the cure at 100.
John Kemp, Tolicemau. says the Oil cured
him of a severe fracture of the collar bone.
Mrs. Kocher, 72 years of age, .226 Chestnut
St- Rheumatism in shoulders twenty years
cured in two days.
August Rhin chart; Partial Deafness, sev
eral years cured in one week.
Peter Smith, Contracted Cords, 2 years
cured in three days.
READ IP YOU PLEASE.
Josenh Dodd Deafnc. eighteen vcars:
cured with three applications.
Mrs. Henry Shan charger Frequently af
flicted with Sick Headache extreme case
cured In one day.
John Walter's daughter severe attack acute
Rheumatism cured in one-half day.
Mrs. John Ruth, (ice-dealer,) torturing pains
In side and back rurril bv takinsr remcdr
three times internally and making four ex
Charles Wallace, Rheumatism in arm and
shoulder, four years cured in four days.
CSieman. contracted cords, caused bv run-
shot wound at battle of Stone River, almost en
tirely rellevcu in fifteen minutes.
ut. wrigm, itncumatism, curcu.
A. A. Hess ears he knows the oil cured a
friend of his who had been suffering cxcrutla
Mr. Lawcll, firm of Lawell & 3Iartin, Drng
glits, Allentown, says, "Use my name freely
tn recommending the Oil. I have used it, and
has done me more good, than any other rem
edy I ever tried,"
& Knauss says, "there, is no remedy liko It
Have used it for broken limb."
SPRAINS AND BRUISES.
Wooster, 0 Jan. 1st, 18G8,
Jfjwr. Inoraham Co.GtntUmm.: While
hauling stone for the public buildings, I got
my back strained so that 1 wa3 laid up for two
weeks. I finally got some of your Macedonian
Oil, and in one week, was able to go to work
again. There is no medicine that will boat
yours, and any of my neighbors can tell how
bad It was.
i am, gratcnuiy yours,
Tho Macedonian Oil Comnauv will forfeit
$1,000.00 for every one hundred remedies com
bined that will give tho people such assurances
of success, in curing any of the aboc diseases
as the Macedonian Of, and that will furnish
snch reliablo certificates in the town where
manufacture 1 aud bold.
A CERTAIN CURE!
SCROFULA, PILES, TETTER, AND PALSY.
rcrsons forvranlins $5 Dollars for Six llot
tles, toourhjilrcss, will get it liy Express Of
fice, Address order to
DR. INGRAHAM 8c CO.,
Zocl JinxVl, WooHtar. Ohio.
THIS MEDICINE IS AN OIL.
Other men pretend (o sell oil for similar nur-
poses, but they are not oils, only cheap, ethere
Is the great ncutralizcr of poison in thesvs-
tern. Koonewbo is afflicted ti any of the
alwvo diseases, can use It without being bene
fitted ten times the amount that it cobts him,
and if be persists in its use It will cure him.
orer one raillioi sufferers ba c been cured by
" "-v n inn uiruu j vur.
Jfoa?-Price 00 cent-, atidfl per Mile.
THE GOING OF MY BRIDE.
By the brink of the river our partingtvas fond.
Bnt I wliinercd the words soft and low:
For a band of bright angels were waiting lc
And ray bride of adaywasto go:
Was to go from onr shore, with its hcidlan,
On a water whose depths were untold ;
And the boat was to float on this River of
Till it blent with an ocean of gold.
Our farewell was brief as the fall of a tear:
The minutes like wirig'd spirits flew;
IVhen my bride whispered low that a shallop
And the beck of the boatman she knew.
Then I spoke in one kiss all the passion of years,
For I knew that our parting was nljh;
Vet I saw not the end I was blinded by tears,
And a lighthad gone out from the sl:y.
Bnt I caught the faint gleam of an outdrMing
And the dip of a silver-tipped oar;
And knew, by the low, rustling sigh of the
That a spirit had gone from the shore.
Alone in my grief I now sit on the sand.
where so often she sat by my side;
And Hong for the shallop to come to thestrand
That again I may sit by my bride.
John Ploughman's Talk.
ON SEIZING OPPORTUNITIES.
Some men arc never awake Tvhcn
the train starts, but crawl into the
station just m time to see that every
body is oir, and then sleepily say,
-uear me, is iue train goner jiy
watch must have stopped in the
night!" They always come into
town a day alter the lair, and oncn
their wares an hour after the market
is over. They make their hay when
the sun has left off shining, and cut
their corn as soon as tho fine weather
is ended; they cry, "Hold hard! af
ter the shot has left the gun, and
lock the stable door when the steed
stolen. They arc like a cow's
tail, always behind; they take time
by the heels, and not by the fore-
iock, it indeed they ever take him
at all. They arc no more worth
than an old almanack; their time
lias gone lor bemsr of use: but. un
fortunately, v-ou cannot throw them
away as you would the almanack,
lor tucy are like the cross old ladv
who had an annuity left her, and
meant to take out the full value of
it; they won't die. though they are
of no use alive. Takc-it-easy and
Live-long are first cousins, they say.
and the more's the pity. If thcy
arc immortal tin tucirwork is done,
tucy will not die in a hurry, for they
have not even begun to work yet.
silliness people generally excuse
their laziness by saying, "they arc
only a little behind;" bntalittle too
late, anil a miss is as good as a mile
My neighbor Sykes covered up his
well after his child was drowned in
it; and was very busy down at the
Old Farm bringing up buckets of
water alter every stick of the house
had been burnt; one of these daj-s
he'll bo for making his will when he
can't hold a pen, and he'll be trjing
to repent 01 nis sins when Jus senses
These slow coaches think that to
morrow is better than to-day, and
taicc lor tlieir rule an old proverb
turned topsy-turvy "Never do to
day what you can put off till to-mor
row, lhej- aro for cvor waiting
until their ship comes home, and al
ways dreaming about things looking
up b3--and-by; while srrass "rows in
their lurrows, and the cows act
through the gaps m their hedges.
If the birds would but wait to have
salt put on their tails, what a break
fast they would take home to their
lamilics! but while things move as
fast as they do, tho youngsters at
home will have to fill their mouths
with empty spoons. "Never mind,"
say they, "there arc better times
coming, wait a little longer." Their
birds arc all in the bush, and rare fat
ones they arc, according to their ac
count; and so they need to be, for
.theyhaychadnoncin. the JiamLvct,
and wife and children arc half
starved. Something will turn up,
they saj-; why don't the stupids go
and turn it up themselves? Time
and tide wait for no man, and yet
these fellows loiter about as if they
had a freehold of time, a lease of
their lives, and a rabbit warren of
opportunities. They will find out
their mistake when wants finds f7ici
out, and that will not be long with
some in our village, for they arc al
ready a long way on the road to
Needham. They who would not
plough must not expect to cat; thcy
wno waste tne spring will have a
lean autumn. They would not strike
vhen the iron was hot, and they will
soon find the cold iron very hard. .
"He that will not when lie may,
When he will he shall have nay."
Time is not tied to a post, like a
horse to a manger; it passes like the
wind, and he who would grind his
corn by it must sctthoinillsails. He
that gapes till he be fed, will cane
till he be dead. Nothing is to bo
got without pains except poverty
and dirt. In the old days they said.
'Jack gets on by bis stupidity;"
Jack would find it very different
nowadays I think; but never in old
times, or any other times, would
Jack get on by foolishly lcttinc
present chances slip by him; for
hares never run into the mouths of
sleeping dogs. He that hath time,
and looks for better time, time
comes that he repents himself of
time. There's no good in lying
down and crying, "God help us!"
uod neips mosc who help them
selves. "When I see a man who de
clares that tho times arc bad, and
that he is always unlucky, I gener
ally say to myself, that old goose
did not sit on the eggs till they were
an addled, and now providence is to
be blamed because they won't hatch.
1 never nail any laith in luck at all,
except that I believe good luck will
carry a man over a ditch if he jumps
wen, and will put a hit or bacon in
to his pot if ho looks after his gar
den and keeps a pig. Luck gener
ally comes to those who look after
it, aud my notion is that it taps at
at least once in a lifetime at every
body's door, but if industry -does
not open it, away it goes. Those
who have lost the last coach, mid
let every opportunity slip by them,
turn to abusing providence for Bel
ting everything against them : "If I
were a hatter," saj-s one, "men would
Dc Dorn without heads." "If I
went to the sea for water," quoth
iinoincr, -j snould imd it dried un."
Every wind is foul for a crazy ship.
Neither tho wise nor the wealthy
can help him who has long refused
to help himself.
John Ploughman in the most gen-
tcel manner sends his compliment;
to his friends, and now that harvest
is over, and the hops all picked, ac
cording to promise, he intends giv
ing them a bit of poetry, just to
show that he is Uying the polishing
brushes. John asked the minister
to lend him one of the poets, aud
he gave him the works of George
Herbert,' very good, no doubt, but
rather tangled, like Harlcaway wood
still there's a good deal in the queer
old verses, and every now and then
one comes upon clusters ot tne
sweetest nuts, but some of them are
rather hard to crack. The follow
ing verse is somewhat near the sub
juct now in hand, and is plain en
ough in reason, though, begging the
poet s pardon, John can t see a
rhyme in it; however as it is by the
great Herbert, it must be good, and
will do well enough to omament
John's talk, like a flower stuck in a
button-hole of his Sunday coat.
"Let thy mind still be bent, still plotting where.
And when, and how thy business may be done,
slackness hiwds worm: imtlhp snrp trnrplf r.
iiiuuKu nc aiinis sometimes sun goctn on.
villus Mim surriuK s-iiini in v aiune;
t rue on iue otuci, uere Ut euca an one. '
The Flaw Hunters.
There arc people who have a pre
ternatural laculty for detecting evil
or the appearance of evil in every
man's character. They have a fatal
scent for carrion. Their memory is
like a museum I once saw at a med
ical college, and illustrates all the
hideous distortions, and monstrous
growths and revolting diseases by
winch humanity can lie troubled or
afllictcd. They think they have a
wonderful knowledge of human na
ture. But it is a blunder to mistake
the IScwgatc Calendar for a bio
A less ollonsive type of the same
tendency leads some people to find
apparent satisfaction in the discov
ery and proclamation of the slight
est defects in the habits of good
men and the conduct of public in
stitutions. They cannot talk about
the benefits conferred by a great
hospital without lamcntinsrsome in
significant blot in its laws, and some
trilling want of prudence in its man
agement. Speak to them about a
man whose good works everybody
is admiring, and they cool your ar
dor by regretting that he is so rough
111 his manner, or, so smooth that
his temper is so hasty or that he is
so fond of applause. They seem to
hold a brief, requiring them to prove
tne impossibility ol human perfec
tion. They detect the slightest al
loy in the pure gold of human good
ness, that there arc spots in the
sun is, with them, something more
than an observed fact it lakes rank
with a priori and necessary truths.
JLiiero are people who, if they
near an organ, nud out at once
which are the poorest stops. If
thev listen to a crcat sneaker, tliov
remember notliing but some slip in
the construction of a sentence, the
consistency of a metaphor, or the
evolutions of an argument. While
their friends arc admiring the wealth
and beauty of a tree whose branches
are weighed down with fruit, thev
have discovered a solitary bough,
lost in the golden alllucncc, on
which nothing is hanrinr.
Poor Hazlitt was sorely troubled
with them in his tune. "Littleness,"
he said, "is their element, and they
give a character of meanness to
whatever they touch, Good Worth
x'arcnts, strive to malec your
homes pleasant and attractive! If
j'ou would havo your children grow
up pure, healthy, and beautiful, at
tempt not to destroy their love for
bcautilul things and healthy recrea
tion. Do not labor with such cold,
rigid, self-denying ccononry to hoard
up money to bestow upon them at
your death; rather devote a portion
of -our surplus income to embel
lishments ana beautifying your
dwellings, and to furnish your boys
and girls with the means of homo
enjoyment. Introduce into your
famil3' circle innocent amusements;
and, above all, 3-oursclves join and
assist the 3'oung in their recreations
and plans for social diversion.
Teach them that most beautiful and
sic; and allow them to mingle in the
graceful and health-giving dance.
JIanv parents will crush with a
frown even- attempt at hilai-Uy on
the part of their children; thc3' will
banish all amusement and gaict3
from the family circle, and cause a
shade of gloom to settle over their
homes. What is the course of the
children of such parents? To es
cape from tho oppressive atmosphere
of home becomes the governing mo
tive 01 all their actions, hen
awa3 from the immediate care of
their parents, the3- will secretly go
to places which tho3- have been for
bidden to visit, and mingle with
children with whom tliC3 have been
told not to associate; then they will
immediate!- become more bold and
hardened, and plunge deeper and
deeper into the sea of forbidden
pleasures, aud resort to falsehood to
shield themselves from detection.
Arc not such parents, in a meas
ure, responsible for the sins of their
children? The 3-oung will have en-
jo3-mcnt; and if they cannot find it
at home they will seek it elsewhere,
in doubtful places and in doubtful
company. TI1C3- arc full of vital ity
and gaiety; tlicj- have a natural and
ungovernable desire for amusement
and social intercourse, and that de
sire must bo gratified legitimate!-,
it may be, or illegitimately. Attempt
to suppress it, and 3"ou will ruin
our children; directum the proper
channel, and 3-011 will cause them to
grow ilp happ3' and contented into
the best and noblest of men and wo
You who have children to train
up, think of this! Devote a portion
of your time and mone3' to gratify
ing their Jove lor social amusement.
If you do not get rich very fast, what
matters it? You will be compensa
ted a hundredfold for the pecuniary
loss b3' the jo3' and pleasure you will
experience by seeing your children
grow up noble and virtuous, hon
ored and respected by those around
A militia olllocr being told bv a
phrenologist that he hail tho organ
of localit3' vcr.Y large, innocently re
plied, "Very likely; I was fifteen
years a colonel in the local militia."
A mau with a scolding wlfo says
he has less fears ofthu jaws of death
than the jaws of life.
My Experience as a Cook.
By the Author of "Marrying a Farmer."
"ioniound tue trash: 1 ex
claimed, as I threw down the news
paper I had been reading, and took
up a medical work instead.
"Say, what's the matter now?
sang ray sauc3 sister, Jenn-, as she
picked up the offending paper and
laid it carefully in its appropriate
"Why, here is a long story to
prove that men cannot cook."
"And can they?"
'miat a question! (Jt course
the- can, if they will bring their
minds down to such trifling emplo--
ments. (Jan your hands accomplish
anything that mine cannotf and
held up my ten digits, shaped and
colored like her own.
"But this writer I have read the
story" she replied, "makes out her
case irom the ignorance of her hero
not his incapacity-! '
"Exactly! But how long would
it take a man of common sense and
the least observation, to learn to pre
pare a meal? I am sure I could do
so now, and 3-ou know I am seldom
in the kitchen, and when I am, my
thoughts arc always on more impor
Jenin- smiled demurely as she re
"Perhaps you could; but I must
go there now, for Anna has been
called away to-day, and it is her
week to help mamma, and mine 111
tho chambers; so I havo double
duty, 3-ou sec;" and she went out,
leaving me to wonder why authors
would write and editors publish such
3ly mother was a pattern' house
keeper, and since nn- fathers death
two 3-ears had managed, with the
help of 1113- two sisters, to do with
out a servant, for our family of four
persons. Our home was situated 111
small village, where I was born
where I was now practicing medi
cine with tolerable success.
This is delicious corn bread,
mother," I said, at tho tea-table,
helping im-self to a' second square;
"did 3'ou make it, or did Jenny r
"Jenny made it," she replied, with
a glance of approbation at ny- sis
ter. "She is learning very fast; I
shall give her the pastry when her
next week comes around.
O, ma! there is 110 use talking
about learning to cook to Edward;
he thinks a knowledge of that em
ployment comes naturally to all
b03-s as well as girls and that he
could prepare a meal now, if he
would only bring his mind down to
such a trilling occupation.
"very likely," was the reply; and
then tm-ning to me, she asked, "how
would 3-011 make this corn-bread you
relish so wcllr
"The easiest thing in the world,
mother! First, 1 would take that
square board" " "moulding board"
suggested Jenny;) "no matter for
the name, so long as 1 know its
use," I replied; "on that I should
set a pan of meal, and to the meal
should add some liquid to make it
moist, and then roll it out on the
board and put it in a dripper, and
into the oven to bake. There, JJliss
Jenny, what do you think now f
"Patty-cake, patty-eakc, baker's man,
I will, master, as fast as I can;
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with T,
And toss it in the oven for Tommy and me.'
recited the monkey. But my moth
cr, in her gentle manner, gave me a
verbal recipe, tiieu ana there; ana
being a little nettled at my self-important
sister, I treasured it tena
ciously, determined to show her, at
some luture time, that conceit was
the most prominent fault in her
character. A few day's later, the
lainii- received an invitation to a
double wedding, of some cousins, in
an adjoining State. A week was
the shortest time in which the trip
could be accomplished, and I could
not think of leaving my patients so
long; but nr- mother and sisters
could go, certain'!
"But who will cook, for youi" my
'Edward Cooper, of course," I re
plied. "If lie cannot cook enough
for one to eat, for one week, I have
greatly overrated his powers."
.Mother and Anna strongly ob
jected, and each insisted on rcmain-
g; but Jenny some punishment
will overtake that girl 3-ct declared
that it would be preposterous for
an3 oncto remain, just to keep the
house lor mo!
"He thinks ho can cook as well as
any of us, and, of course, he knows
what he can do, she said, with a
droll look at Anna. Their scruples
were overcome at last, and the next
day 1 had tho satisfaction of assist
ing them into the stage coach, on
their way to the railroad, ten miles
tor a da-or two I enjoyed my
soi distant bachelor s hall lmmcnse-
I3-. There was no necessity for
cooking an3-thing but meat, pota
toes, tea and coffee, and I succeeded
admirabty, The steak was rather
dry and tough, from an old or poor
animal, undoubtedly. And my first
cup of tea was decidedly bad. I
could not imagine why; for I put in
just the specified quantit- I was
particular to ascertain the measures
of tea and coffee and boiled it all
tho time my potatoes wero baking.
Still it was bitter, dark and astrin
gent, instead of the fragrant, amber-
colored beverage my mother usually
piaccci beiore mo. But halt the
quantity was an improvement, and I
prided myself on my economy.
iue coitec was better until the
third morning, when I put in a stale
gg by mistake; but that was no
loss, as I told myself, for it would
learn mo to bo more careful in future,
and, accordingly, I examined each
(Jnc morning, I resolved to have
some fried for breakfast, and ihe
nrst one 1 took up, having a suspi
cious look, to test it, I shook itnear
my ear, when 'pop went the abom
inable thing, and oar, beard and
mouth wero sprinkled with the un-
fragrant liquid. Faugh ! I can smell
t yet! But that was not all; for
stepping back to reach the hand
basin, I trod on Jenny's cat I won
der if cats aro possessed by an evil
spirit? and to save tho squalling
brute hurriedly raised my foot, and
planted it square m tne egg basket,
tangled the other in the handle, and
measured five feet and ton inches on
the kitchen floor, to the horror of
the wretched cat, that fled, spitting
and squalling, to the gaiTct,satisfied,
no doubt, with what she had done.
I kicked the basket from mv feet.
uid should not be willing to swear
that I did not use my feet more than
was necessary lor that purpose.
Good and Jad eggs were unmista
kably mixed now,- and 1 threw the
slimy mass out of doors, with a de
cided antipathy to eggs for break
The next day some evil genius
must have whispered me to cook
some beans. Ihey will be so con
venicnt, I thought. This cookin
every meal is a bore.
After a long search, I found the
sack that contained them, and turn
ing out two quarts, perhaps, washed
and drained them, and then select
ing a nice piece of salt pork, placed
it over tnem in a pan, and put them
in the oven to bake. But, as I have
since learned, dry beans and salt
pork have no affinity, and the more
1 cooked them the harder thej- be
came, if such a thing were possible.
The pork sputtered and snapped.
but the beans remained small and
shiny as at first. Two, three hours
were given them, and then I took
them from the oven to make a diag
nosis of the case.
Bnt one thickness of cloth is not
enough between the hand and smo
king hot metal; at least, such is my
judgment; and coming to that con
clusion before I reached tho table,
let go, and they came rattling to the
floor like hailstones, giving a map
of Greece (grease) not down in any
geograpuy, ancient or modern
Blowing my blistered fingers, at in
tervals, I shoveled the bewitched
things into the back yard, fervently
hoping they would not take root and
produce a second crop, obstinate as
But I must have something be
sides meat and potatoes; the bread
was all consumed, and I was be
coming desperate. Some corn-
bread! -es, I could recall the recipe
found the meal, turned on the
scalding water, added the other in
gredicnts, and soon had a brown
loaf, tempting to the eye, at least,
But I soon found that beauty was
its principal charm. If it did not
turn to ashes on the lips, it did
something mnch coarser: and there
was an uncooked tasfe about it de
cidedly unpleasant. The few mouth-
tuls 1 managed to swallow scratched
my throat so unmercilully that
was fearful of some mortal disease
having its seat in that part; but a
careful examination relieved nry
fcars. And I may as well state here
that my unfortunate cake was made
ot some coarse, unsifted meal my
careful mother had reserved for the
I did not like corn bread, that
was certain; but I could try some
biscuit! Accordingly, substituting
flour for meal, I added tho rest, hot
water and all. But, shade of Tan
talus! it was neither butter nor
dough, and adhered to everything it
touched. I broke the mixing spoon
in tn-ing to stir it plastered un
hands in the endeavor to remove
the broken spaon and dropped the
rolling-pin on my most thrifty corn.
Just then the door-bell rang, and
forgetting all but my profession, I
brushed the hair on my lorehcad
with my sticky fingers, and an
swered the call, to the no small sur
prise of the bumpkin who was sent
lor me, and who reported that "Dr.
Cooper gin bread pills, 'cause he
seen him makin' em."
The summons was urgent, and,
catching my hat and gloves, I was
soon with my patient, who was not
too sick to wonder, as his attendants
did, if I was trying to take a cast of j
myself, clothes and all, in plaster?
Kelcascd at last, 1 returned, de
termined to finish those biscuits,
The mass worked a little better,
now it was cool, but still would take
no form resembling biscuit, dabblo
in it as 1 would.
Completely disgusted with the
glutinous pile, that clung viciously
to everything it came in contact
with, and crawled to each side of
tho board, as if anxious to get away
from itself, I stood, and eyed it sav
agely, and wondered what I should
"I will tumble it into the pan," I
said to myself, "and perhaps it wrill
bo bread! 1 like new bread."
But this was a feat easier con
templated than accomplished. The
board was covered with the abom
inable stuff, and every particle stuck
like melted wax; but, by dint of
poking, pushing and dragging, the
greater part was finally transferred
to the pan; and then, with thoughts
of a warmer place, I sent it into the
oven, and turned to clearing up the
With a cloth and some water I
commenced with the board, or rather
with tho plaster that covered it; but
tho water soon looked like milk,
and the cloth refused to remain in
my fingers, so encased was it with
Another ring! Confusion! JIust
everybody get sick on this unlucky
da3", of all others?
I wiped my hands as well as I
could, although shreds of that de
testable dough clung to them, and
went to the door.
No call from patients this time,
bnt from Mrs. Dosscl and her beau
tiful daughter, who resided in an ad
orning county, and, having occa
sion to pass through our village b3'
stage, had called to sec my mother
and sisters, with whom they wero
1 could not shut tho door in their
faces, and invited them to tho parlor,
and then stood, staring helplessly at
them, and wondering why they did
not do something? The 3-ounger
one looked at me, as if she half bus
pected I was an escaped lunatic, and
as dangerous as I was dirty; but the
elder lady, with a practical woman's
penetration, came to the rescue at
"Yon arc trying to cook, Doctor?"
she assorted, rather than asked, as
she glanced at my bedaubed fingers,
plastered garments and flour pow
"A little," I replied, while I felt
my face burn like a fovcr patient's.
"And nro somewhat doubtful of
success?" and sho smiled in her own
T tlinnnrllt of tltnt mALl!n linifjl
and wished my visitors in Jericho.
hhc seemed to read ray thoughts
by intuition, and said, with a decis
ion not to bo questioned: "I shall
claim -our hospitality for m-sclf
auu daughter until to-morrow, as tho
stage will not pass before; and as I
am so conceited ss to think I can
cook better thanyou, will 3-011 pleaso
allow mo'to prepare the meals while
I thought of that mummy-looking
loaf in the oven, and a chill followed
my fever. But what a bright thought
While thev -were unrobing and
washing in the guest chamber
would make way with it beyond the
ghost of a chance of a post mortem
examination; that was, if it had the
same appearance as when I last saw
I accordingly expressed my pleas
ure ma3- the recording angel be
merciful? and escorted them to
their room; and then, with a few
words of welcome, left them to hurry
to the kitchen, tumble the board
rolling-pin, and every other be
daubed thing but myself, into the
woodshed; and finished by taking
the shrunken leather colored loaf,
and bun-mg it 111 the garden.
lhis accomplished, I returned to
the kitchen, where Mrs. Dossel soon
joined me, with her dress caught up,
and her sleeves pinned up with an
eye to business.
bhe asked a few questions as to
the whereabouts of certain articles.
and then hinted prett.3- strongly that
sue had no lnrther use for me. I
understood, and went to my room,
where the miserable, dirty, forlorn
wretch who glared at me in the glass
did more to cure mo of self-conceit
than a three hours' lecture from an
other could have done.
A bath, change of garments, and
the use ol a nail-brush changed my
outward appearance somewhat, and
I joined Miss Dosscl in the parlor,
with a faint perception of my own
An hour later wc were summoned
to tea. Wonderful! That meal
will always be a mystery to me!
lute cloth, spotless queenswarc.
shining silver, snowy biscuit, thin,
wine colored dried beef, crisp rad
ishes, and handsomely moulded but
ter, all seemed to have slipped into
their appropriate places, as it my
mother's hand had guided them,
i,ven a cake, small, but of feathery
lightness, was quivering, warm from
the oven. I did not cease to won
der, while the meal progressed, and
did the honors like an overgrown
school bo Nor was ny- wonder
lessened when, a little while alter, 1
made an excuse to go to the pantry,
and lound that nightmare 01a mould
ing-hoard and rolling-pin clean and
dry 111 their places.
Toward cveniug Mrs. Dossel pro
posed a walk to the bank or the
river, that flowed a little distance
from the houso. Wc went through
the garden, that being the nearest
way; and now, pitying reader, what
do 3-011 suppose appeared to me, in
nn- ill rated transit iothing less
than that abominable loat of some
thing it certainly was not bread
that some ill conditioned cur had
unearthed, and left to mar the beauty
of the landscape, a shadow in the
What could I do? The ladies
were evidently amazed, and waiting
for me to explain. "I will make a
clean breast of it," I said, in des
peration; and accordingly told them
ot all my miserable failures. Thcy
laughed some, and evidently wanted
to laugh more.
"And -what induced you to bury
your unlucky loat f asked Mrs. Dos
"To get it out of nry sight," I re
plied, kicking the deformed thing
back into its hole as wc passed on
"No one but a physician would
have thought of thus disposing of
an unfortunate job, remarked the
young lady mischievously.
The next day they left me, after
preparing bread and cake enough
for three men, instead of one, until
my mother and sisters' return.
Mrs. Dossers daughter is now my
wife. I was sure that a woman who
could get up a meal, in the way she
did, could get up a wife, of whom
any man might be proud and I was
She is a little saucy at times, and
Jenny aids and abets her, especially
f 1 dare to hnd the slightest fault
with a dish on the table. "Perhaps
he would prefer cooking it himself,"
she will say, "O, Edward is a capital
cook! learned by intuition; beats up
eggs in a basket, buries his bread to
make it rise, and lnes dr- beans in
pork gravy!" and before I can box
her ears, is out of the room, leaving
me to think of that wretched week,
with a horror that even rav enemies
should respect, and be silent as to
What Hope Did.
It stole on its pinions of snow to
the bed of disease; and the suffer
er's frown became a smile tho em
blem of peace and endurance. It
went to the house of mourning and
from the lips of sorrow there came
sweet and cheerful songs. It laid
its head on the arm of the poor,
which was stretched forth at the
command of unholy impulses, and
saved him from disgrace and ruin.
No hope, my good brother? Have it.
licckon it on your side. W rcstle
with it, that it may not depart; it
may repay your pains. Life is hard
enough at best; but hope shall lead
ou over its mountains and sustain
thee amid its billows. Part with all
beside, but keep th- hope.
Nothing Like Grammar.
Nothing like grammar! better
go without a cow than go without
that. There arc numberless "pro
fessors" who go "tramp, tramp,
tramp, my boys!" around the coun
try, peddling a weak article, by
Inch, "m twenty days, the- guar
antee to set a man thoroughly up in
the English language.
An instance iu point comes from
Greenville, Alabama, where a "pro
fessor" had labored with the 3-outh
of that people, and taught them to
dote on grammar according to
Morris's" 8-stein. During one of
the lectures, the sentence, "Maiy
milks the cow," was given out to
be parsed. ,
Lach word .had been parsed, save
one, which fell to Bob L , a six
teen -ear old, near the foot of the
class, who commonccd thus:
"Cow is a noun, feminine gender,
singular number, third person, and
stands for Mary,
"How do you make that out?"
"Because, answered the noble pu
pil, "If the cow did not stand for
Mary, how conld Maty- Milk her?"
A Saratoga landlord rents a ham
mock ou his back piazza for three
dollars a night.
A Snake Entrapped by a Spider.
, A gentleman from Mossy Creek,
Jetierson county, yesterday presen
ted us with a photograph of a snake
at lull length, of which he gives sub
stantiauy the lollowing history
A few da3s since the snake was
found suspended in a spider's web
unoer a shelf in the store of Messrs.
Johnson &Branner, at Mossy Creek
On inspection it was clearly ascer
tained that the snake, about a foot
in length, and still alive, had been
literally captured by a spider about
the size of a common house fly. The
spider had spun his web tightly
around the neck and entire head of
the snake, and drawn him clear from
tho floor, making him a close pris
oner. The snake was taken, whilst
yet in the coils of the spider, to Mr.
Knflher, a photographer, and the
picture is before us as we write. The
facts are curious, and suggestive of
various theories. After the photo
graph was taken the web was re
moved from tho snake, whereupon
he exhibited his wicked instincts by
striKing at those present, evidentlv
showing a desire to avenge himself
ior tne terrible indignity put upon
him by so insignificant a creature as
a spider not much larger than
gram of wheat. We regret that the
snake was finally killed, instead of
being saved that his peculiar species
might be identiued. it was evident
ly a venomous reptile, which had
crawled into the store unobserved.
to be thus ignominiously captured
and brought to grief. Knoxville
If there is a terrible name in Paris
to-day it is that of the Uhlans, those
adventnrous Tartars of the Prussian
army who .are galloping so wildl-
and recklessly almost up to the
gates of the doomed city. Contrary
to the general impression, the Uhl
ans of King William are of strictly
(jcrman organization, being simply
tne lighter class ot cavalry in that
service. The word Uhlan is of Tar
tar origin, and signifies brave, and
was" first used to designate the light
cavalry of the Asiatic countries, e's-
peciany ot xartary. The service
requires dashing and accomplished
horsemen, and this the Uhlans of
Bavaria and Prussia seem to be.
Each soldier carries a sabre, pistol,
and a lance seven feet in length.
shing with a strap admitting of its
being couched under the right arm.
Near the point of the lance flutters
a steamer of brightly colored cloth
which, together with the -ells of the
lancers, is competent to frighten and
stampede all but the most thorough
ly drilled horses of an enemy. The
Austrians and. Prussians were the
first to borrow this class of cavalry
from the Turks, and to make it one
of the most effective and valuable
arms in their mounted service. As
now organized, the Uhlans are the
feelers of an invading arm-, always
at the front, capturing exposed
points oeiore tneir presence is sus
pected cutting the roads and destroy
ing the stores of an enemy and ma
king themselves in general the ter
ror of the country through which
they march. They wear curious,
guadil- colored uniforms, arc very
daring and eccentric in their be
havior, and hold about the same re
lation to the hussars, dragoons and
cuirassiers of the Prussian army
that the Turcos of Algeria do to the
miantry or the Jjrench.
Josh Billings on Love.
The only natural feeling the
young heart possesses iz love. It iz
the first good thing the heart duz,
and m alter rue it is often the only
Ihere iz no posatif virtew in love
and3-et it may be the result ov the
holyest ov virtues. But thare iz in
this life a vast deal ov Pontoon love,
that haz no more virtue in it than
There iz "Love undieing," that
gencrair- lives about as long az un
corked gingerpop duz.
There iz "Love Untold," which iz
alwus told tew ennyboddy who will
listen to it, and iz az full ov pathos
az a pork and beans nightmare.
And thare iz "Love at Sight," to
which I will add, Love for 90 days
There are sum ov the different
kinds ov Love that are denominated
pashun, and from mutch of the tra
ding capital that lovers do bizziness
Thar iz not much sin in these dif
ferent styles ov love; they don't
seem tew- git up to the dignity of sin;
thare is deception in them without
doubt; but the deception iz like the
celebrated Rat Exterminator, it wont
hurt cnn-bodv else but the rats.
1 am prepared to say that I would
like to see these things dun awa3'
with, for sumthing wuss might
spring up in the place ov them:
U1C3- seem tew be necessary in car-
on a trade in which jedgment
has to 3-icid to f anc3, and fancy is
too often forced to yield to non
If wc could (enm-of us) have our
old courtship written out and given
tew us for perusal, we should prob-
abry look upon it az wc would upon
Chincz comick almanack, unable
tew understand the picture, and sat-
lsheil that the astronomical calcula
tions were never designed for our
Facts of Life.
33,333,333 persons diC3-carlv, 91,-
000 per day, 3,000 per hour, G2 per
34 years is the average of human
One-fourth die before the age of
Persons of 100 years, 1 111 10,000,
90, 1 in 500, of GO, 1 in 100.
The married live longer than the
9o persons 111 loO marry.
June and December are tho fa
vored wedding months.
In 1,000 persons who reach 40
years of age, 43 arc clergymen, 70
larmers, 33 workmen, 32 soldiers,
lawyers, 27 teachers, 24 doctors.
What is that which is often found
where it is not? Fault.
How docs the Irish cupid inflict
wounds? With his "Arrah, bo ja
bcrsl" A Kansas man wlro took arsenic
a rattlesnake bite is cured.
"Come oyer to our houso and sec
the bilious fever," is the Indiana
- Holmes Co. Republican,
A FAMILY NEWSPAPER.
Dedicated to the'interests of the Bepnblican
Party, to UoUnes County, and to local and gen
Lanbach, AYhite & Cunningham,
, ED1TOBS AND PBOrSIETORS.
OFFICE Commercial Block, over Mulvane's
Dry Goods Store.
Terms of Subscription :
Ooc year (In advance) - - - $2 OO
Sixmonths . Vnn
The EzrtmLiCAN Job Printing Office bone
of the best furnished country oQccs in tho
A woman has carried off the $500
prize for the best managed farm in
There are said to be six million
dogs in the United States.
Difficult punctuation putting a
full stop to the tongue of a gossip.
William Cullen Bryant is the rich
est poet in tho United States, his
last j-ear's income being $50,000.
There is a general outcry made by
railway passengers against the ex
tortionate prices demanded for
sleeping-car berths on most lines.
The only liberty cap, says a clever
and witty author, is the night .cap.
In it men visit one-third of their
lives tho only land where they are
free and equal.
The Boston Post says it was once
said of a Boston money-lender that
he kept the trunk containing his se
curities near the head of his bed,
and lay awake to hear them draw
WI13- should young ladies never
wear stays? Because it is so horrid
to see a girl "tight."
A Scotch paper tells the story of a,
farmer who, after the burial of his
wife, drove a hard bargain with tho
grave-digger, who, bringing his hand
down on the shovel, exclaimed,
"Down wi' anithershillin, ornpshe
Some one asked a boy how it was
he was so short of his age, when he
replied, "Father keeps me so
busy, I ha'n't time to grow."
An Irishman, having arrived in
this country, struck across the fields
in search of cmploy-ment. While as
cending a hill he suddenly came to a
stand-still at the sight of a land
turtle slowly wending its way. Pat,
never having seen the animal before,
exclaimed: "Houly mither the
divil of a county is this, where the
snuff-boxes walk up hill!"
It is said that the man who won't
take a pajwr because he can borrow
one has invented a machine with
which he can cook his dinner by the
smoke ot hu neighbors chimney.
A gentleiaan paid a compliment to
beautiful German lady at Newport,
by telling her she resembled the
Prussian army. "How so?' she
"You are winning," was the
An Irishman who was troubled
with the toothache determined to
have an old offender extracted, but
there being no dentist near, he re
solved to do the job himself; where
upon he filled tho excavation with
powder, but, being afraid to touch it
off, he put a slow match to it, lit it,
and then ran round the corner to get
out of the way.
A Rochester man has issued a
book of the names of men who don't
pa3 their debts in that city. It con
tains so many names that it is fre
quently mistaken for, and used in
the place of, a city directory.
"How," said Mr. Munsell to Mr.
Yates, "do you accomplish so much
so short a time? Have you any
particular plan?' "I have; I go and
A Vermont husband frustrated his
wife's elopement by locking up her
silk dress. She said she wouldn't
seen eloping in a shilling calico.
Young ladies who wear blonde.
powder in their hair in the daytime,
and think it will not be noticed,
make a great mistake, as it ought to
worn b3' gas-light
The largest transfer ever made at
the Treasury Department of bonds
belonging to a single individual was
George Howland and others,
trustees to Sylvia Howland, of New
Bedford. The amount was $700,000.
The next largest sum is $550,000, in
registered bonds, belonging to a
When a horse refuses to eat he
should cot be made to do any more
service that day, for it may He
known that he is tired out or sick.
is barbarous to compel a horse to
perform labor when in such a condi
tion that he refuses grain, yet it is
often done, and by men, too, who
think they arc merciful.
As man-of our readers may not
know the best manner for cleaning
black lace, the following arc the di
rections for doing so: Sponge the
lace carefully with gin and wind it
around a bottle to dry, for if touched
with an iron it would look glossy
and flattened. Some people fill the
bottle with warm water, which
causes the lace to dry more quickly.
must not be placed near the lire.
it would give it a rusty appear
ance. A simple fellow once said of a fa
mous beauty, "I could have courted
and married her easy enough, if I'd
wanted to." "And, pra3-, why didn't
you?' asked his friend. "Oh, when
began to court her, vou sec, sno
took me one side and politely asked
be excused, and so I excused her."
A. Now London Sabbath School
teacher said to a little boy recently,
Suppose some bad, wicked ooy
should stop vou on your way to
church and ask you to go to some
bad place with him; what would
say?" "What would I say?"
replied the little wag; "I would say
Snoo fly, don't boddcr me,' 1 am
for Sunday School."
"Bob, is your sister at home?'
Yes, but she won't see you to
night" "Why?" "Because she said
was going to have one more
mess of onions if she never got an
A voice comes from Washington
Territory, saying, "Send us wives!"
And a thousand unhappy iscneuicis
respond, "Take ours!"
Ton nro. not tn lu lnilcfMl bv their
j o j
looks, habits and appearances: but
their lives, and conversations,
by their works, it is oeiicr
thnt n vnnn'ft own works, than that
another man's words should praise
Josh Billings says: "I don't be
lieve in bad luck being set for a man
a trap, but I have known lots ot
folks, who, if there was any firet
nfr in,l lnofc livinf aronnd loose.
would bo sure to get one foot in it,
An cxtensivo fire is destroying
roods. About twenty thousand
ncres arc burned over.