Newspaper Page Text
Terms of Advertising.
ll in. II ii
1 Mool ! Kcol . X coli fccol . Keel ,lool
J j r. I
i.oo tijots.au ,tsoo won 16.00 itKoo
1JW xwii .uu
s.00 too: 10.00
8.UU 1S.00 15.011
21.MI liOU :4.00 50.00
10 00 liUOjlSJO
Deaths and alarriage. gratis.
Loral Notices, first insertion, 10 cents per
nut:, kuoaequciii iiiswmwih v who, per line.
Special Notices and Foreign Advertisement
s per cent, auuiiiuiuu.
Business Cards, not exceeding 3 lines, $4.
Administrator and Bxacators Xotice t
Comma PUmJadut, , WlUltM IltM.
robot Jmdfr. , . , . Tbobas A anon.
rrowitiivj Attoneu.' - llLllosLAxn.
t oomXf VUrt, I - . JOHN . OBB.
Mm, .... Jakes s. ild o.b.
Auditor. . JOSErtl H. 'XWT4!I.
S erorder. i W. C MCDOWELL.
areUAItrYr, - . GOTTLIEB IsKBBEB.
COTMalWioBCI-S, . J . , -JOS-GCMIXGEB.
t ' Wn.'WAi.sxr.
Surveyor, - . . . JositlA 8roKAOUC
twwwr, ... HXNBT &HAFFEE.
In Mrmory IKrrrfor,
?loa M. Smith,
M. E. CHURCH,
G. A. HDGHES, PASTOR, SERVICE EVERT
Sabbath at HD o'clock, A. at, and 1 o'clock,
- m. jaeeiiHa; inunosj evening.
EVANG. LUTHERAN CHURCH.
SERVICES EVERT OTHER SABBATH, AT
10 X o'clock A. aLr Prayer Meeting every
uusj etenmg. nev. as. A, rogeisong,
U. P. CHURCH,
REV. W. Jf. GIBSOV.-PASTOR. HO"T9 FOR
service at 11 K o'cloea, a. K. Sabbat school
at iujc : o'clock, A. M. rrmver ateeungTbars
u) evenings at ?s o'cioca.
REV. A. 8. If IIOL,LAI D .PASTOR. MORS
lug service as 11 oll. SnblMUh school
12 o'clock. veninsr serrftca lu o'clor.k-
Prayer meeting every Wednesday evening at
GERMAN LUTHERAN CHURCH
SERVICES EVERT SABBATH AT 10 O'
clock, a. a. Sunday School at S. J. D.Xun-
KILLBFCK LODGE I. 0. O. F-
t evening, ID laelrnall
A. G. SHRANK I. E.V.G.
Eked. Ncssbai n. .Sec".
E. VT. FAIR, X. G.
Railway Time Tables.
Cleveland, Mt. Vernon & Colombus R. R.
Leave Mount Veraoa,
" Danville, . . , ..
" Uann, "
" .Black Creek,
nlillersburg, S:4 A. M.
" Holmeavilie, - 6:.1o " ,
. " Apple Creek, 3918 "
" Orrvilie, 1M "
" ManhallTiile, 7:14
Cliutoa, 1:M 44
Akron, emu "
" Hudson, 8:45 "
rr. at Cleveland, 10 U0 . -
IJI5 A. At.
li:06 P. M.
' Hudson, S:50 A. M.
Akron, .: . lltt) "
Clinton, 13.-00 M.
" Juarsballville, 19:45 P.M.
" Orrvilie, 1:15 "
Apple creek, S:10
Krolerirkb'rg, S:40 "
" llolniesnlle, 3.115 "
" Millersburg, 35 "
niiiniick, Ml "
" Blark Creek, 4 38 "
" Can n, 6.-SS "
" Danville, 5.53 "
" Howard, 611 "
" Gambler. S.-47 "
Arr.at Mount Vernon, 7U7. ,-. ,
Carries U.S. Mail. . ' .? ' . ' !
4MS 1'. M.
R. C. HURD, President.
G. A. JONES, Superintendent.
G. A. JONES, Superintendent. Pittsburg, Ft. Waynes & Chicago R. R.
TRAINS GOING WEST.
No. 1 Ka. 1 ' No. a Wn a
Fast Ex. Pac Ex. Mail. Night Ex.
1.45A.M. U. 10 A.M. 6.00A.H. l.WIF.AI.
tL5S 10.S5 - 7.a - K.40
5.15 " l.ll-.ll.10.e " 5.SS "
..'.! " a.OTp.H.lS.ISr.H. 7.06 "
3.54 "-1K45 7.4 "
6.ll 3.15 " 0.11
5-40 tm " : 1.4 "
.oo 5-vsa.h. .50 "
7.55 " 7.40 - 11.15 "
1S.0S r.H. 9.16 " .uo "--11.17 A.H.
Z.4llr.M. 1S.05 11J0 " X.4.-.A.
4.45 " S.55A.X. .i1r.ll. 5.05
7.50 u (Uu " 3.30 - 8.S0 "
TRAINS GOING EAST.
No. 8 No. t No. 3 So. 4
Mail. Fast Ex. Pac Ex. Ex.
6.15a.m. fi.sOk.M. 5.:ir.a. K.aor.M.
.15 " l!.lr.M. 8.55 X.15A.M
Ft. Wayue, lS.sor.M. x-iorM 11.S0 tun
UBS, !. 4.1H - 1.1HAJV. 8.05
f orest, 4.00 68 "
Crestline, 6O0A.M. tUOr.K.
Wooster, R45 8.51
Orrvilie, 9.20 " a.90 "
Alliance, 11.45r.If J1JXI
Rochester, S.50 1.UA.K.
Pittsburgh, 4.00 " 90a h
No. 1, Daily except Mondar; Xos. 5, 7, 8, X,
and 4 Uaiiy except Sunday: Nos. 3 and 3,
F. R. MYERS, Gen. Ticket Agent.
DkS. POMEREXE & WISE,
PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS, MILLKRS-
burg.Ohio. Office Hours nednesdavs,
from 1 to 3 o'clock T. and on Saturdays
from 9 o'clock a. u. to 3 o'clock r. m. 84U1
W. C. STOUT, Ji.D.- ' ?
SUCCESSOR OF E. BARNES, M. D ECLEC
tic fbysician anu burgeon, uxloru, llolmes
County, Ohio. Special attention given to
Chronic and Female Diseases, consultatioa
free. Oflice hours from 9 A. M. to 3 P. M., on
fsesdays and Saturdays. SOtus
P. P. POMEREXE,
PHYSICIAN AND SURUEON, BERLIN,
OHIO. ' ltf
JW. M. ROSS, IT. D-,
fUYSICIAN AND SURGEON, MILLERS--f
burg, Ohio. Oflice First door West of Cor
ls ner formerly occupied by Mnlrane. Resi
deuce, second door south of T. B. Raifi's
corner, onice days, Wednesday and Sator-
PHTSICIAN AND SURGEON, OFFICE AND
Residence, West Liberty titreet, Wooster. ii.
All accounts considered due as soon as servi
ces are rendered, t 3t
J. G. BIG HAM, M. Dn
PHTSICIAN ft SURGEON, MILLERSBURG,
Ohio. Onice and Residence, at South part of
Washington Street. ltf
DR. JOnX LEHMAX,
German Physician. Treats Chronle Diseases,
especially Female Complaints, with great
success. Oflice on East Liberty Street, V oos
. . . tf
n. d. Mcdowell,
ATTORNET AT LAW, MILLERSBURG, O
OMce Second floor in McDowell's building
west of the Court House. , ltf
Jonx W. VORHES,
ATTORNET AT LAW, MILLERSBURG, O.
Oflice over the Book Store. ltf
A. J. BELL,
JUSTICE OF THE PE ACE. COLLECTIONS
unice above Long, Brown
At co.'s Hank.
L. R. H0AGLAXD,
ATTOBNEV AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW
AULLtltSIlURG, O. sJtf
. J. & J. 1IUSTOX, ' : t
ATTORNEYS AT LAW, MILLERSBinO, O.
Collections promptly attended to.
JUMIC , .MUHIIl JilUia.
COURTNEY A APPLETON,
Corner Main A Depot Streets,
Mlllersburg, - - Ohio.
W. R. POME ROY,
PRACTICAL AND OPERATIVE DENTIST,
Oflice in Negelspach's Building, over Max
well's Clothing store. 35-3
T. L. PIERCE, -. -;
DENTIST. Commercial Block, over Shoap's
Tin Shop. 1U
J Simeon Spahr's Estate.
lkTOTICE is hereby given, that the s nbseriber
has been appuinted anil qualiliedas Ex-
1 sartor of the estate of Simeon Spahr, late of
f tolmes countv, deceased.
: Dated at Mlllersburg, thiszlst day of April,
' II. 1873.
96 wS WILLI Am H. SPAHR.
A Political and Family Journal, Ttcvotexl to the Interests of Holmes County, and Local and General Intelligencer
MlLLERSBUKG, HOLMES COUNTY, 0., THURSDAY, MAT 22, 1873.
Vol. Ill, No. 40.
i . - - -
OKRVII.LR, O, NORTH OF a R. DEPOT,
jsivib tusreroii, prop'r. Traias gHag north
in the morniaf to thirtv minutMi tar
breakfast. The Hard linage is ntteil up
in Hrs-cias sijiv, tnu is one 01 roe net!
koues an the P. F. W. A C. K. R. Contry
people win nun il 10 ineir mieress to Slop at
? " EXPIRE HOUSE,:
-I mtlPelV lsuiswiansi
ronrrTxHl to and from the Lars, free of ebMrre.
fcFaerl btaf Ofic. - lit
WEST FVD MATS STREET, MILMfRft-
otiTg, Ohio, JOSKPB BETLM.Mm Proprietor.
This Houm is iu rood order, and its xueats
wni W well-cared for. . ltf
C I. BEE6LE,
Plain at Ornamental '
Work warranted. All order i
ecutmi. Orders to be left at J. ill L
sJ GEORGE BCHNORR,
Carpets and Curtains!
STEELING & CO.
Ilaring the largest and handsomest stock of
f uttr , BrustWU , Ttprtry, Three-ply, Ingrain
Cloths, MattinfH &c,
Erer shown in Northern Ohio,
A SPEC'I ALT.
A full Line of Upholstery.
Becl-trith, Sterling fr Co.,
189SUPEKIOR ST ,
I Cleveland, Ohio. ' ' SlmS.
RO VISION STORE!
J. P. LARIMER,
HAVING removed my store to one door west
of N. P. Mccormick's store, I intend to
a, nrm-etass k lour, t eed and Provision
have purchased a stock of
as Coffee, Tea, Sugar, Syrup, Carbon Oil,
Kentucky Hominy, Peas, Currants, Or
anges, Lemons, Raisins, Figs,
t extract. Spices. Starch
Marvin's celebrated SUGAR, LEMOS
SODA and FRENCH
Cigars, of the best manufacture.
TobaCCO, Undi, at wholesale
goods sold at small profits and delivered
aaj part of the town.
HIGHEST PRICE PAID FOB
Potatoes, Sea ns avd ountry
Produce, Furs db Sheep Pelts.-
Feb..l87L-tx J. P. LARIMER.
AND, , , ,
BERLIN, OHIO, : ;
WOULD respectfully announce to the citi
zens or Holmes and adjoiaingcountieK.
he is prepared to do all work in his line
Harness Made to Order.
has the right lor this countv- for the
PATENT TUG BUCKLE, which iaau-
to all others.
JONone but the best workmen employed.
E. H. STRUBBE."
Berlin, O., Aug. SO, 187. . ' ltf
Spring and Summer
COTTONS & C0TT01TADES
' For Farmers' Wear.
B. H. STAIR 6c CO., ;,
Late J. STAIR it SON.
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
Seeds, Pknts,Bull.s, Fruits,
115 Ontario St., Cleveland, O. 82ml
Best and Most IMPROVED
Tire and Biirglar-PoocT ;
A F S!
made by tlie PITTSBURG
167 Penn Street, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Ner Grocery -
PROVISION STORE !
FLOUR. FEED. 0,11
' I ties
constantly on hand. Highest market
pnee paid tor .n
lynilfiTrfflro. -Lima : TTiln f !
...vkxsj metiitv mm i 1 1 1 1 leu
stantlv on hand, at their kiln, a aurierior onal
HAVING PURCHASED THE GROCEftT
and Prannsa Hton of Cw . Leetr. Main
atrvet, and harine refitted tlie roows'ia jrood
style, and added larjrly to the ttock, and is
now proparetl to furnich all who mar iavor
him with tneir patronage with ereryunns in
19 MS TtMK, alien avt
Co tTee,: ' Tea,
All of which wiU be sold at thai
Lowest Market " r Price !
He also keeps the very best brands of
tfinss and Liquors,
Suitable for medicinal pnrposea, which he will
e iltjy the driuk.
Give him a call when yon want anything- in
CHADLES MOM. '
At the old "Merzer Corner."
II mentor. O., Aug. 1, 16T1. 6otf
a pnrchaed the Mlllertbnrir Mills nnd f
in readiness to rnxownioditte al. who may
iavor mm vita
The Mill Is one of the verr best, and noef.
wm ue sparea to please customers.
All Kinds of Grain.
MILE EAST OF TOWN,
OK THE MAXWELL FARM.
dgned would respectfully ... baJ
the public that they have eon- anu
And are prepared to flit all orders promptly.
nS HECKER Jt BURNET.
ROIBET C ItaZWELL
M Fnmsliini GooJs!
MAIN STREET ,
UiUeraburc, - Ohio.
would resDectfullr announce that I keen
gushasuj on nanu a goou supply 01
Fresh Groceries and Pro
low figures. FRESH UK ATS of all kinds
uc umi uniiv. iooih. .riLcuneiu'
llng, opposite the Court House.
WM. II. GARB
A.S. LOWTIIEll, .
Jackson St, Millersbnrg, O.
Above Mazuttirs Clothing Store.
I.L work entrusted tn bis hand", will be
naue up in uie laiet Riyie, mot durante
manner, and guaranteed to give entire satis
faction in erery case, (iire him a trial.
e are also airent for the Howe Sewinr Ma
and keep on hand Needles, Fixtures and
inning.,; uu by Uie bottle or gross.
A. S. LOWTHEK.
wonld wjioctftilly inTite the attention of
public to our
Osffi Orange Heap!
hare a full supply of plants on hand.
hing to putvliate plants will do wtl
wishing to pui
give us a call. We alo
luruisb plants and
thetrmoi three years warranting them
grow, and warranting a good stand for the
DOLLAR FEE ROD!
three annual payment. We thank the peo
ple or Holmes ami TuscarawRr. counties lor
large patronage, and those wishing to
GOOD HEDGE FENCE !
do well to give us the Job, as we am ex
perieaced in the business of Hedge Drawing,
can make a fence in fonr Years sufficient
turn any stock, and on any soli, l'arties get
ting 1000 Hods or Over 20 per
have removed from Walnvtcreek to
Shanesville. Tuscarawas Co., where we will be
to atteau to all oruera.
E. M. TROVER,
STRIKE THROUGH THE KNOT.
well retnealMT. rean aro. Krw I. a lfttle lni.
To split a knotty stick esaeil: with ail tlie
In Tain I haoked about the knot the ch ips flew
round tlie dooi 1 "
AaT wariet I laid down the axe, and thought
Jurt them,an o.l man passing by, who chanced
to see my plight,
Cried out aJo4, "Held; Mi mT hoy! yn
hug twtmmi aaiatill
This backing splinter will not gala tbn e!)ec t
yon naTe boh gn ,
Cot split it through the knot, my boy, directly
tried once more, and on the knot struck hard
Once, twice, thrice, and thm mUek. was stpUt;
r I dronned mv axe aauin:
AAiktTnow,"qtiothhe, by this yon see Inst
bow it is in lil'e.
All the way through yon'H And hard knots.
nu wrrow, care ana snie. -
And sbooJc. yon nly hark at them, youti
make but serry speed; , .
Bnt If you strike then maul ally, yon snreiy
Thm Uves at great men always lead through
many a troubled way.
And would yon walk thecein, my boy, lemcm-
Thus bespoke, and erer since I're found hi
wonl so troe. ...
that I will giro as I received ton sasae advice
Ami if you heed it yon will fad, others hare, I
The wiet plan, and saresi way. Is striking
airValUM Inf swSf US - ,, - m-y
A HURRIED COURTSHIP.
I was a young man, possess of suffi
cient means to enable me to live at my
ease, and refrain from labor of any
kind, when suddenly tliere came a blow
which scattered my prosperity to tlie
winds, and forced me to employ my la
and wits in the general struggle of
gaining a living. The blow came in
shape of the failure of a large firm
which all my capital was invested.
After securing a clerkship in the house
a creditor of our late firm, my first
was to look up a less expensive
boarding bouse than the one in which I
living. :I inserted an advertisement
several widely circulated city papers,
asking for reasonable board in a strict
private family ,and of course received
multitude of answers br next nnst
of this motley installment of enls-
there wis but one which pleased me
I decided to answer that one in per-
vixai.-K Avuigsiey was me name ot the
favored landlady writing to me, and the
letter stated that her house was entirely
private, she having no boarders what
I was much pleased with the fair
delicate handwriting, and an idea took
posession of me that Grace was a young
fascinating widow, i I was not dis
appointed when I reached the housejind
myriuging at the door-bell was an-
"",,ay. uereu- bno um
me into me parlor in a manner so
courteous, and yet so modest, that I had
desperately in love with her al
before I could cross, the threshold
enjoyed a very pleasant chat with
Kingsley. Daring the conversa
she informed me that her late hits-
en ,u tair of business
at his death,which occurred about a
previous, and left her in pretty
comfortable circumstances. They had
one child,and this item of morality
was most graciously permitted to
upon, as It lay peacefully slumber
ing in its cradle. I also learned that
lady was living in the house quite
and desired a male boarder more
means of protection than a source
revenue. In conclusion, the land
looked so pretty (she was'quite
young, not more than twenty-two or
three,and the price of board so moder
her companionship go Inviting, and
seemed to trust la me, looking up an
so favorably, that I would have been
heathen dead to all charms and .In
ducements of the ez4f load not engag
board on tlie spot. 7 1 ..
The next day I had my trunk "remov
to my new boarding house anil per
manently established myself, there.
leaving my former boarding
a letter was handed to me by the
postman, but I did not find time to ex
amine it nntil I was comfortably en
sconced in the parlor of Mrs.' Klngsley's
house. . ,
Opening Uie letter I discovered it to
from a wealthy uncle of mine, resid
ing in Vermont, who regularly sent me
letter every year,but whom I had nev
er seen. His epistles were alwaysshort
generally consisting of an account of
weather in his locality, and some
advice to me to take care of my
money, as I might be burdened with
of it before I was much older. I
always very glad to get this advice
him, as I regarded it as an inti
mation that I was to inherit his wealth
One day, however, about a year pre
received a letter from him which
contained another topic besides those I
mentioned. Jfy nncle made some pres
sing inquiries respecting my matrimo
prospect', and stated that if I was
already married, I should immedia
tely enter into the wedded state, and let
know of lt,or he would never more
an uncle of mine.
Now, as my nncle lived in Vermont,
I in Philadelphia, I never anticipa
ted the old gentleman would pay me a
and discover the falsehood,! wrote
him and informed him that I was not
married,bnt the father of a bounc
baby. This Intelligence so pleased
nncle that he sent a gold goblet and
silver pap-spoon, to be presented to
child. I first sat down and wrote a
romantic letter to my uncle thank
ing him for the presents and then visit
the nearest jewelry store and turned
goblet and spoon Into cash, which I
received no further letters from my
till the one that I read in Mrs.
TJngslcy's parlor. The postscript to
one not only astonished, but abso
lutely frightened me. It read nsfollows.
"P. S. I have never visited Philadel
so I have decided to do so at once,
get a look at you and your child.
may expect me about the 10th of
'Goad gracious ! my uncle is coming
visit." I exclaimed, "and it is past
10th now I I don't know at what
moment be may pop In. What am I to
lor a wife and child ?''
that moment tliere en me a terrible
at the door-bell as if the man who
it imagined that he owned the
and could make as much noise ns
pieaseu. a sick sensation took pos
of me, for I had a misgiving
it was my uncle.
Now as good fortune would have It
Klngsley bad gone out to a neigh
store for a few minutes, and had
requested me to have an eye out to her
while she 'was gone10 it wouldn't
out of tlie cradle, and hurt itself
I glanced at the cradle, and thought
my uncle at the door, a bright idea
entered my mind. I determined incase
the visitor was my uncle, to claim the
youthful occupant as my own.
The visitor proved to be my uncle.
I knew him by the picture of bun.
had seen, and he likewise knew me by
mv photograph. After a natural rec
ognition and hand-shading, I ushered
my bonered relative into the parlor and
presented to him my newly claimed off
spring. - ''
" There, nncle," said I, "is foe first
pledge of oar married life. lassureyou
I take pleasure pi presenting to yon my
It Is a! fat little youngster,? said
my uncle, gazing at it admiringly.
'Jiv The way, what Is it, a boy or a
That was a knotty question for me to
answer, for he was just a much ac
quainted with its gender as I was. But
it would not do to show Ignorance on
the subject,: so I answered at hap haz
ard that it was a boy.
I'm sorry it's a boy," said say un
cle; "there are too many boys in the
family. Now, if yon had only produced
little blue-eyed girl, It would have
been more sensible."
I assured him I was sorry the gender
did not suit, but hoped in the future bis
wishes would be gratified.
So far I had succeeded in deceiving
myTincle, but the worst I feared, was,
that when Mrs. Klngsley returned, she
might object to my claiming ownership
her child. Besides, to carry out my
deception I must find a wife as well as
infant, and Mrs. Eingsley was the
one I could conveniently claim. The
only difficulty was to get her consent
the deception, and this might be
done if I could only secuie a private
conversation with her before I Introduc
ed her to my uncle, then it would be all
I watched my opportunity, and gain
an Interview with her before she en
tered the room. I told her In a few
brief and hurried words, the extent, of
difficulty and how I had taken the
liberty of acting as papa for her little
one,. I then told her I must find a wife
somewhere, and begged her to allow me
introduce her to uncle in the capaci
She laughed very heartily at the
suggestion, said she could comprehend
difficulty, and consented to my pro
posal, and very roguishly warned me
to presume upon the occurrence.
We then entered the parlor and I en'
traduced her as my better half. My
uncle was very much pleased with her
complimented me upon my good
choice iu the selection of a wife. Mrs,
Klngsley, of course, colored most char
mingly at this compliment, and I could
plainly see that she could scarcely re
frain from laughing.
"You have a fine boy here," said
uncle to Mrs. K., pointing to the
Excuse me, sir," she said, coloring
again, "it's a girl."
I was dumbfounded. I was exposed
my iniquity. Would uncle believe
after this ? He looked from me to
pretty landlady with a puzzled
Tour husband told me it was a boy,"
said, and rather suspiciously, too, I
Well I always took it for a boy," was
reply, putting on a bold face, "but I
suppose my wife knows best,"
Here Mrs. Kingsley fairly screamed
laughter, and uncle's face assum
an Ironical smile.
You're a nice father, ain't you?" he
touching me with the point of his
ambrella, "not to know the sex of your
child. Why, I knew it was a girl
moment I looked at it,"
"But, Charley," be said again ad
dressing me, "what did you do with the
goblet and pap spoon I sent to the little
oue?" t .
"Ob, they are perfectly safe, I assure
I replied. "I have taken good
of them." '
Yes, but where in the duece are
? I would like very much to take
another look at them."
Well, I have deposited them In a
for sale keeping, but I can readily
produce them that Is, in the course of
He told me to do so as be wanted to
them, but then I got out of the room
fear he might ask me some more
perplexing questions. ...
short slme afterward, Mrs. Eings
came to me, when I was alone, in an
adjoining room, and I saw immediately
something very humorous must
happeneuV for tlie corners of her
were breaking into smiles.
Do you know, sir, into what an
awkward- predicament you have got
she inquired, as she took a seat en
lounge by my side.
Explain yourself," I said.
Why, your uncle came to me a short
ago, and asked me to see my mar
riage certificate, and he said be had
money to settle npon ns immedi
ately, but he wanted to be sure that
everything was right first."
"Did you expose?" I inquired anxi
No, sir, I did not, for I never enter
a deception, or anything else by
was so elated that I could not with
the temptation of embracing her.
did not make her angry, for she
nestled her bead cosily on my shoulder
"What answer did you make him ?"
She hesitated for a moment, and then
: ! ,
I promised to produce the marriage
But we haven't got any," I then re
She indulged in a quiet little laugh to
herself, but said nothing. - ; ...
Mrs. Kingsley nay, my dear mad
no, I will call you darling we are
in a scrape, and there is but one
for us to get out of it. Will you
my wife!" ,
I shall be delighted," she answered,
frankly, and seizing both of my hands,
that she was ready for frolic of
We lostrno time, I assure you. I
don't think Mrs. Kingsley ever got
her Sunday clothes in such a hur
In her life .before, while I spoiled
pairs of suspenders in my frantic
endeavors to be "on time." We quite
astonished the parson by - our haste
at the conclusion of the ceremony,
would have forgotten to give him the
usual "fee," If he had not reminded me
it. . . !
We had secured the coveted marriage
certificate, signed and sealed, and were
safely out of. our difficulties,
thought. We had omitted one precau-
uon, as we presented the certificate tol
ancle. It was all right with the excep-1
tion of the date.
" Why, how is this?" said my uncle,
gazing at the document through his
specs, "I thought yeu were married
oyer a year ago." . .
So we were, uncle," I answered very
"How comes it, then, that the eertlfi-l
cate is dated to-day," he asked in a
voice of thuoder.
We were speechless, both my wife
Come," said my nncle, "I see there
hag been some trickery here. Own up
it, or 1 never will forgive you.
I did own np to it, and told him the I
whole story. I expected It would make
him angry ; but It didn't, for he lauh-
heartily, and said I was a clever ras-
and. he was proud of me.
" But bow about the gold goblet and
pap-spoon t Yon' haven't been draw-
ing the wool over my eyes about them, I
too, nave you eh?" ... I
I toM the truth about the goblet and I
pap-spoon. . 1
Why,' yon are a regular trickster " I
said mv uncle. "I Mievs nw. smuM
deceive Satan himself. But I won't get
angry at you, for I used to play the
same eames when I was vonnir. . I
In a word he became thoroubly
reconciled, and my uncle setUed noon
a sufficient Income to enable me tol
quit my irksome duties as a clerk.'
A Notable Anniversary.
Two hundred years ago, the coming I
17th of Junehe Mississippi was discov-1
red, according to the historian nd it is
proposed to revive the half forgotten I
memories of Marqoetto and Joliet by
celebrating the event at St. Louis and
other places on the line of the historic
river. Ou the 20th of June 1C73, Mar-1
quette and Joliet, priests and merchants J
attended by other Frenchmen and two
Indians, left Green Bay for the south-
west. - They ascended the Fox river in I
canoes to the dividing ridge between it in
, the Wisconsin. , Carrying their
light canoes on their shoulders across a
"divide,"they launched them npon the
Wisconsin. , ; All but Marquette and Jo-
returned to Green Bay. The hero-1 de
priest and merchant descended to the
newly discovery river, and on the ICth it
June, 1073, they glided out of the
Wisconsin npon the bosom of the upper go
Mississippi "with a joy." Thence they
pursued the explorations to the mouth I
the Arkansas river, arriving at their
settlement at Green Bay the 1st of Sep- the
teniber.' And now, says the St. Louis
Republican, after a lapse ol two hundred ing
after the wilderness they found I
been converted into fields and gar
and field ; after the wigwam 'villa
have been swept and tlie shadows of
mighty' cities fall upon the. water of
stream found flowing through track
wilds, it is proposed to erect some
suitable memorial which shall preserve
fame until the latest times.
An Experiment that Failed.
am not sure whether I did rizht or I
wrong. I am sure that I meant right,
It was in this wise: Believing im- is
pllcity that the bending of human twigs
should be accomplished during the ear-
stage of their growth, I concluded to
commence on Vieve. My intention.was He
give her a lesson in firmness. Ac-1
cordingly I filled a box with chestnuts,
placed it within her reach, saying
"Now, Vieve, dear you must not touch I
without my permission." I
"Well, den, I dess I'll not," was the
while the brown-eyed three-year- that
gazed wistfully toward the sweet I
I gave her six or eight.,
"In my dear 'little potit,fank '00!" I ed
went to my work, and labored with
the cheerfulness of an inventor who the
sure bis machine will be a sue-1 an
During the afternoon it occurred to I
mind that those nuts were lasting a I or
remarkable time. Assuming my blan-l may
tone for the occasion, I asked. Had
Vive, have you eaten all your chest-
nuts?' . an
mo, a nnic not.
'Come here, darling. Where did you I
so many?' I
Oh, I dets 'em out o' my potit.
Well, but here are more than I gave a3e
at first,' I said, as I examined the
receptacle. . 'Oh,Vieve!you have the
disobeying me, and getting more I
of the box?' I
'spects p'r'aps I have.' I
But are you sure ?'
'Yes, I's pretty sure.'
Oh, dear Vieve,' I cried, with the and
feeling of one who discovers his inven
to be a failure, this makes poor
mamma feel so sad. I do not wish to
punish you 4 but what must I do? I
have my little girl obey me. Oh!
shall I do?'
The small sinner looked reflective.
Well, mamma. I deas '00 had better
Believing her suggestion a wise one,
embodying all the wisdom of the affair, eyes
acted npon it. Eeturning to my oc- or
enpation after our session had adjourn- I
the first thin that caught my at- kwm
tention was a scrap of .old newspaper, good
containing this sentence.
He who , through intention or neglect
throws before another a temptation, is,
be overcome, equally guilty.
put away the box of chestnuts, and
waiting futher light.
The Statistics Man on Pie.
The statistics man has been at work
and this time he has occupied
himself with New England's favorite of
pic. It seems we are gradually
surely deteriorating our raee by an
indulgence in pie ; that we are becom-
helpless victims to the luring squash ul
the insinuating pumpkin ; the aro-1
ana mysterious mince ana me it
cranberry, upenworked tarts
lattlcea currant are creeping insl- tne
dlonsly Into our constitutions and un-1
dermlning tliem. Il pniiantnropy uoes 01
soon begin its charitable work, we
all fall before the deadly wiles of
This is terrible, inueeu, anu pie- We
makers take upon themselves a fearful I dew-drop!
responsibility in tempting us with their
delicacies. It seems we tat
a race of pastataphaglsts. It is and
dreadful to reflect upon. Auother fag-
ting but deadly stimulant is now
to alcohol and tobacco. Pie is a
contriband. Who would have thought
Farewell, dyspepsia; farewell, bill-
ousuess; farewell, headaches; and wel-
health and prosperity. Tlie de-1
that is degenerating us has been I like
discovered at last, and his name is Pie. will
"MIT A TIGHT SQUEEZE."
A Story for Congressmen Who
Give Away Stolen Money.
[From the St. Louis Christain Advocate]
Most or all of our readers are aware I
that just before the adjournment of the I
last Congress, a bill was passed increas-1
ing the pay of the members, and also I
wit.h &on of "t"spece character
which gave to each member a handsome
sum by way of "backpay.1
The papers generally have criticised
this proceeding very severely. Some of
the members refused at first to receive I
it, and others that did receive it have
since distributed it to benevolent pur-
poses. Very little of such distribution I
however.was made until after much had
been mM bS the PM" against the ac-
tion of Congress in making tlie appro
cal, Ipriation. These benefations, Hndcr the
circumstances, remind us of a certain
action on tne part of one bnyder, who
live1 little ea3t of a place called Mount
Airy, then in Wythe county, Virginia.
Snyder was a quiet, good sort of a man
out subject to nts or derangement or m-
sanity .during which he usually iuiagin- of
ed uimseit to netne nueroi tne universe
and- would often proceed to hold the
th day of judgmenUtnd pass sentence
upon his neighbors according to his
own likes and dislikes. lie was the ow
ner 01 llw,e country mm ror .inm
co, two of his neigliliors, J. !n and I
IJake rulwuder, had 111 partnership a
also. Between these and Snyder there ate
never was too much !rnod feel in", thus
verifying the old adiige,"Two of a trade
can never agree." One day, when Sny-
der was a little more crazy than nsnal
and particularly mad at the Fulwllders, in
be perched himself upon some elevation
and proceeded, as he said, to hold the
day of judgement. . He first tried the
Fulwilders, and convicted them of tak-
ing too much toll by their own confes-
slons, and consigned them to the left!
hand "mit de goats." "Now said he "I I we
tries myself. Jake Snyder, stand up!
Jake Snyder, what yon haa been about
this lower world?" "Ah, I does not
know." Veil, Jake, did you not have
mill?" "Yes I had a mill." "Veil,
Jake Snyder, did you not take too much
toll ?" "Yes, ven He Water vas low and do
mill-stones 'dull, I did tike a leetle
too much toll.but den I always did give
to de poor." Then after considering ble
awhile, he added, Jake Snyder,you may
de right mit de sheep, but it is mit a tea
The reader may make his own appli-I
cation. If these men can get clear of
odium attached to the manner in I
which the money was received, by gtv- you
that money to the poor, it will be you,
"mit a tight squeeze."
Almost every circle is blessed with
egotist who exercises a kind of dic
tatorship over it. ' Are you in mistake
to a matter of fact ? He cannot suf
you to proceed till you are correc
Have you a word on the end of
tongue? He at once comes to your
relief. Do nou talk bad grammar? He deed.
quotes rules and gives examples like a
peaagogue. iwes ne uiscover mat mere
a link wanting in the chain of your
argument. He bids you stay till he has
supplied. Do you drop a word in
which he has dcyoted much research? ery
asks you whetheryou know its prim-1 leu,
itive signification, and straightway in- him
Aicts upon the circle a long philological "
disqulstion. When you relate an iuci- know
dent which you suppose new and affec-1 take
tive, your friend listens without emo-1 the
tion. When you have done he observes I
he heard that long ago, and adds a I
material circumstance which you
omitted. He is never taken or surpris-
and it is impossible to give him any
information. ; And yet he never takes
lead in conversation, nor advances that
original thought. It is his business who
come after, and pick up the words I They
which others let slip in a running talk, I not
to check their impetuosity, that he I
point out to them their misstep. I jury
he lived in the days of Solomen, he
would have flattered the royal sage with to
intimation that some of bis proverbs This,
but Dlaziarisms: or. had he been a cent
contemporary of Solomon's father fifty
would have lelt himself bound to eive to
slayer of Goliah some lessons on the pass
ot tae gline, and hinted to the sweet I the
singer of Israel his private opinion that much
shepherd bard did not perfectly un-
derstand the use of the harp. I be
1 ' I miles
An English female witness promptly where
defined courtship to be "looking at each
other, taking hold of each other's hands
all those kind of things. Exactly
When a Baltimore woman shoots at
drunken husband and misses him
newspaper says : "Another bullet
To clothe the naked and feed the hun
is good;to each met; bow to provide
themselves is much better.
Where the mouth Is sweet and the
Intelligent, there is always the look
beauty, with a right heart,
He who treats men ingeniously, and
verses kindly with them, gains a
esteem with expense.
Too much , asservations elves -a
of 8Ugpicion. Truth and
have no need of a loud protestations.
Genius is the gift of the Deity; it dis- turij
covers itself without effort, and is un- to
known to the possessor. that
Can a son be said to take after his
father, when the father leaves nothing
Baron Licbig.Napoleon III,Paez John
aluarl BlsnoP atciivaine, ueary,
"y. w anu v,naso are among tne
illustrious dead of the first five months
The Ohio Senate was a satirical body.
passeu some mrce or iour resolutions i wag
given vent tons pent up imiigitatloti on mi
salary steal, anil spent Its closing -11
hours in voting back pay to every officer I wlilola
mac oouy iroin clerks down to pages. hcrc
A late newspaper poem commenced. U
"What is glory !" Ask the dew-tlrop. togre
are willing to try. Icw-dropoli, that
what is glory? The ilocr
goned little chap won't answer. Aun
dangerous Chief. Then dew-drop the subject
don't dew it any more,
Adam's nativity has at last been dis
ci covered. He was, according to Darwin,
uyf.nt wfi., y01i cannot say I ever
contracted bad habits." "No, sir, you
generally expand them."
Mrs. Gubhin says her husband is
a tallow candle, because he alwavs
smoke when he is golug out
THINGS THAT NEVER DIE.
The pore, the bright, the beautiful.
That stirred our hearts in vonth;
The impulse of aworldlesa prayer, -
The dream of lore and truth ;
The longings after something lost;
The spirit's vearningery;
The striving after better Be pee
Toes things shall never die.
The timid hand stretched forth to aid
A brother in his need; .
The kindly wonl in grief's dark hour;
That proves tne friend indeed;
The peal for mercy softly breathed.
When justice threatens nigh.
The sorrows of a contrite heart .
These things snail never die. -
The memory of a clasping hand.
The pressare of a kiss.
The kindly word in griefs dark hoar.
That make up love's first bliss;
If a arm unchanging faith
A holy trust on nigh.
These hands have clasped these lips have a
These things shall never.
Let nothing pass, for every hand
Must lind its work to do;
Lose not a chance to waken love
Be firm and just aad true:
So shall a liitht that cannot fade .
Beam on thee from on high;
For angels voices say to thee.
These things shall never die.
A Railroad Narrative.
' as he
" It is not, sir."
" With your permission, then
seated himself beside me.
The train had already started, and
the conductor presently made his ap-
"Is this seat engaged, sir?"
I glanced np from the paper I was
reading,, and met the smiling regard
a genial looking man in the prime of
pearance collecting the tickets.
lieaching us ne detached the appropn-
coupons from our tickets, handing
back the remainder with the usual
"Pardon me," said my companion
"but I perceive you place yonr tickets
" It is unwise, unsafe.
"Why do you consider it so?" I in-
quired with curiosity, returning my
wallet to my pocket.
"Suppose, through carelessness, or
may say accident, your wallet is
losfr-your pocket may be picked for
"Your money and your ticket are
both gone. Possibly you do not appre-
ciatc the beauties of such a position.
not think it possible except by ex-
" It would certainly be an undesira-
situation. I can see that clearly,
Pardon the question naturally snggest-
were you ever so placed ?"
"Once only once."
How was that?
"You wish to profit by my experience.
Well, I don't know that I mind telling
tne story. It may serve to amuse
if nothing more.
conductor came formv ticket.
" It occurred a number of years ago,
is of no consequence. I had taken
early express train, and being
somewhat tired and altogether sleepy,
stretched myself on a seat for as
comfortable a nap as circumstances
would permit. I slept soundly, for I
could in those days sleep soundly any
where, and did not awaken until the
positive I had purchased a ticket, in-
A remembered distinctly bavins-
shown it to the baggage-clerk at the
of checking my trunk.
The conductor grew Impatient,
passed to the other end of the car and
returned to me. I had made the discov-
that my pocket-book had been sto-
and in proof of my story showed
The check is all right, but how do I
that it belongs to you? I will
the money for your fare, or stop
train and put you off, just as you
"What could I do! protestations
amounted to nothing, and fellow-pas-temptation."
sengers, with the usual tendancy to
trample upon a fallen man, showed
clearly by their looks and expressions
they thought me a sneaking rogue,
would steal a passage if he could.
paid their money, why should I
pay mine ? Few men would ever see
heaven if judgment was rendered by a
"My seareh for tlie lost ticket brought
light just a dollar and eighty cents.
I told the conductor, was every
I had about me. He said it was
cents shorter than the usual fare
Lauderdale City, but that he would
me through for it rather than stop
train. From Lauderdale, a city of
importance, I could write to my
partner for money. It would certainly
as well as to tramp ten or twelve
back to the city I had left, and
I should be no better off, being
equally a stranger there.
in due time I found myself in Lau-
dcrdale, went to the best hotel, tele-
graphed for money, and wrote an ex-
planitory note to my partner. This
business attended to, 1 sallied out to see
sort of a place Lauderdale City
be. There was nothing to do but
myself the best I could until the
should come. As I strolled
leisurely up the main street, a news
started out of a printing oflice,
"'tally JSanner extra' edition all
the murder great excitement on
E road,' etc., etc. Have an ex
took the sheet and thrust my hand
my pocket for the money without a
moment's thought. You might imag
ine my feelings when compelled to re-
that two-penny bit ol paper back
the boy, with the muttered excuse
I had no change, and the utterly
contemptuous expression on the boy's
as he received it. I Immediately
into tlie oflice of the Bauuer and
a paragraph of my recent mishap
care to make it as amusing as
possible. When completed, I banded it
tlie clerk. He read it, laughed and
It into the private office. Coming
a few minutes after, he told tlie
keonar to ive me fllw it
no, mu,.n but more than I exuect-
Well I continued mv walk until I
v reached the end of the street.
terminates at tlie S river
.panned by a long, covered bridge.
crossed the bridge and was surprised
upon reaching the opposite side
I would be required to pay toll. A
girl came to the door of the little
as I stepped up and Inquired how
I should pay drawing forth my
'Oh!' " said she, with a smile and a
blush, "we do not charge minis
It was a bad joke, but I suppressed
laugh that arose to my Hps, and
thanking her for the consideration
shown to the clergy. I turned about and
retraced my steps to the hotel, not with-
Holmes Co. Republican,
Dedicated to the Interests or tba Republican
Party, to liolmet County, and to local aad gen
WHITE k CUNNINGHAM.
Biroaa avd raoranro.
OFFICE Commercial Block, over afulvaaea'
Ary uoous atore. . -
KTLLERSBUBQ, OHIO. .
Terms of Subscription i
One year fin advancm
The RarTBLICAM Jnh T-inti n... I. .
the best furnished country oflcea laths).
some twinges of conscience for al
lowing the mistake to pass and taking
advantage of it.
My first duty next morning was to
seek some knight of the razor. I bad
noticed a pleasantlittle shop at no great
distance from the hotel, in my walk the '
previous day. Thinking that I should
no better looking farther, I repaired
that. There was in attendance a boy
about twelve years of age, who stated
that his father, the proprietor, had gone
a neighboring city, and would not
return before noon. Without any hes
itation I asked for the loan of a razor,
proceeded to operate on myself.
While thus occupied, the customers be
to present themselves, expressing
great dissatisfaction on learning how
matters stood. Now, although I am a
proud man, I am not, thank God, curs
with that species of vanity which
prevents a man from doing certain
of honest labor simply because
they are not genteel. Here an opportu
nity offered to at least earn the price
my breakfast. I took advantage of
told the first man that came in, after
had completed shaving myself. I
would shave him, I did so. In fact, I
quite a brisk business for a couple
hours, and if any ot the unfortunate
individuals who came under my hand
any doubt of my fitness for the
business, they certainly expressed
none. At the expiration of that time I
thought I bad done sufficient, and feel
ing rather hungry, having had no
breakfast, I divided the proceeds with
boy, and prepared to return to my
hotel. But I was not done yet. As I
brushing my hat, a young dandified
specimen of humanity came in. Be
solved that he should be the last, I went
work on him. When he catoe to pay
I was , to say the least, somewhat
surprised to see him deliberately pro
my Own pocket-book the one I
lost. Standing on no ceremony, I
snatched It from his hfnd, and demand
ed in no gentle tone bow it came into
"Without stopping to reply other
by a volley of Imprecations, as he
reached the door, he tumbled rather
ran down the stairs into the
Waiting for neither bat nor
I followed, tne pocket-book in my
We measured considerable
ground in a short space ot time. On,
It was a very exciting phase.,
boys and dogs joined in the pur
the cries of 'stop thief grew loud-
and Increasing. What an uproar
was ! Suddenly there came a flash
light, sharp and vivid for an instant,
policeman, mistaking me for a
had gently tapped me on the
as in their usual custom, and with
usual result, and the thief escaped,
I, the victim, was apprehended. My "
appearance told heavily against me;
my story being rally eorroberated
the boy at the barber shop, I was
Upon examining the wallet I found
money intact, and about $130 be
sides. Tills is all the story.
"Not a bad speculation after all,"
I, as he concluded.
"Well, perhaps not. No, it was
bnt still my advice holds good.
place a railway ticket in your
The Little Joker.
understand that the man who bad
cloud upon his brow has since been
Hare you not often heard of a pretty
mending her conditions by re
pairing. views on the Rhine visit some of
pork-packing establishments out
suppose our compositors are lia
ble at almost any time to get the type-us-fever
That man who was ship-shape must
cirtalnly have seemed a little out of
Wanted, a pig for the pen that was
than the sword.
Twelve years ago Grace Greenwood
delivered a temperance lecture at CoM-
is a fact that rheumatism and glut
tons are both inclined to attack the
has been ascertained that the man
"held on to the last" was a shoe
Pray what is the nse for a fellow to
himself to death just to get a liv
When is B. Smith like a rooster?
his head is combed, of course. '
Rogues who are hung out West are
to have died during a tight rops
young lady who fell dead In love a
revived when asked to name
They voted down in Maine, lately,
the next March meeting be held in
Speaking of the fashions, there's not
change in gentlemen's pant this
There are plenty of pine orchards In
but no pine apples grow there.
True, time flies fast, but every musi
cian of any note can beat tints.
Irishman said coffin was the
in which a man lived after he
Cheap carriage for a photagrapher a
first nautical persons alluded to
Scriptures is said to be Xve, be
cause she was the first mate.
Circus proprietors wish it distinctly
understood that the term "sawdu
swlndle,"which occurs so often in New
papers does not refer to their ex
managers : How to have the 'cool
theatre in the city' daring the sum
mer season engage a (n)iea eootpany.
Quaker traveling,arriving at an inn
for some porter, and, observing
pint deficient In quantity, thus ad
the laadlord : Pray,frlend,how
butts of beer dost thon draw In a
Ten, sir," replied Boniface
thou wouldst like to draw eleven if
couldst? rejoined Ebeneaer. Cer
tainly, exclaimed the smiling landlord.
I will tell thee how, friend, ad
the Quaker; "fill thy measures."
'Ours at home The baby.
Comfortable quarters Two-shilling
Great roles are the favorite food of
Why are clergyman like railway por
ters ? Because they do a great deal ot