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THE SMOKY HILL AND REPUBLICAN UNION.
"WE JOIN OURSELVES TO NO PARTY THAT DOES NOT CARRY THE FLAG, AND KEEP STEP. TO THE MUSIC OF THE UNION,"
Vol-ome II.
juisrcTioisr city,
"SAS, SATURDAY, J-ANTJAJETF 17, 1863.
IN umber 12.
jSmohj gill anb gcput'n Warn,
rCBLISHEI) EVEEr 6ATUBDAV MOOMXG BT
"V7M. S. BLAKELY, - - - GEO. W. MARTIN,
At Junction City, Kanpas.
OFFICE IN BRICK BUILDING. CORNER OF
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A SKETCH JULIUS CiESAR.
Julius Ctesnr, in personal appearance, was
slender, tall and delicate, and was reputed
to be the handsomest man in Rome. De
fending from one of the first families, snd
!cing endowed with powers of mind of the
highest order, his successes in all his un
dei takings seemed certain.
Aspiring to be the first man in the Re
public, and having two rivals for the same
distinction, Pompey and Ciassus, Cresar
sought to accomplish his purpose by uniting
these rivals. The union was consumated,
and he enjoyed the favor of both ; by which
means a partition of power was agreed to
by Pompey and Crassus with their mutual
friend, thus forming the first triumvirate
5C B. C
Caesar had the government of Transal
pine Gaul and Illyria, and nobly sustained
the military glory of his country. In Gaul,
Germany and Britain he spread the terror
of his arms. He invaded and subjugated
a considerable portion of Britain, B. C. 55
years; but the urgency of affairs at home
delayed the fui ther progress of his arms.
Ho soon, however, loturned, and in the
course of niue years this ambitious geueral
not only conquered Britain, but all the
country that extends from the Mediterra
nean to the German sea. It is said he
took 800 cities; subdued 300 different
States; overcame 3,000,000 of men,
1,000,000 of whom fell on the field of
battle, and the remainder were made pris
oners of war.
By the death of Crassus, which occurred
ui& years B. C, an end was put to the Tri
umvirate. After this event both Caesar and Pompey
began to entertain the idea of supreme, un
divided dominion. Both were oxtrcnicly
poworful ; but Caesar possessed superior
talents, and had an invinciblo army devoted
to his interest. The main body of the peo
ple were also devoted to Caesar, who had
won them by his liberality.
The contest for a superiority soon re
sulted in a civil tvar, disastrous in the
extreme to Pompey and the Republic. At
Pharsalia, Ceasar aud Pompey met in bat
tle, und Pompey was defeated, losing 15,000
men killed and 24,000 taken prisoners.
Pompey fled to Egypt, and was there mur
dered. Pompey's army consisted of 45,000
footmen and 7000 horse, while Caesar's
numbered only 25,000 and 1000 horse, but
they were better disciplined.
"War was Caesar's element. In a contest
betweon Ptolemy and his sister Cleopatra,
Ceasar iuterposcd in favor of the latter, and
at length brought Egypt under the Roman
yoke. In two years after, he subdued
Pharnaoles, King of Pontus.
Leaving the conquest of the East, Caesar
hastened to Rome to quell disturbances cre
ated by Anthony, his deputy. His pres
ence soon restored tranquility.
At this time, two sons of Pompey, with
Cato and Scipio, were in arms in Africa,
assisted by Juba, King of Muritama ; thith
er Caesar hastened, and at Thcpsus over
throw them in battle, with little loss to
himself. This event finished the war in
Africa, and he returned in triumph to
Rome.
The state of affairs in Spain called Caesar
into that country ; where, after severe
fighting he Budceeded in conquering the
remnant of his enemies in that quarter, and
returned to Rome to receive the almost
slavish homage of its citizens.
Finding himself at peace, he turned his
attention to improviug the empire. He
adorned the city with magnificent buildings,
undertook to level several mountains in
Italy, to drain the Pontin marshes, and
improve the navigation of the Tiber, re
formed the Calendar, and meditated distant
conquests.
His brilliant course was soon destined to
end. He was suspeeted of aimiug at roy
alty, which the people detested and sixty
Senators leagued together with the view of
depriying him of life. This they accom
plished by stabbing him in the Senate
House on the 16th of March, 44 years
B. C. - At the time of his tragical death he
was in the 56 th year of his age.
Caesar enslaved his country, and waded
to dominion through rivers of blood. His
levation cost the lives of 1,200,000 human
1 beings.
m m
03 The bride elect of the Prince of Wales is
named Alexandra Caroline Maria Charlotte
Louisa Julia, and she is in London.
SI) Viuion .
JUNCTION, SATURDAY, JAN. 17, 1S63.
LETTER FROM PHILOS.
Philadelphia, December 28, 18G2.
Feiend Uxiox A Happy New Year to your
self and readers ! I bad almost said, a Merry
Christmas ! but even as I wjite the sounds and
sights of that usually lively time have died away
and are almost foreotten, such is the transient
nature of things below. With us in the East it
has indeed been a merry Christmas. A stranger
among us would indeed have been astonished on
beholding the gayety and profligacy visible on
every side, when recollecting that within two
hundred and fifty miles, fathers, brothers, sons,
and friends, are perilling their lives suffering
from exposure to cold, liability to disease, and
danger from the bullets of a bitter foe. As far a3
I can learn, never, for years, has there been so
much activity in business at this particular
season. The ornamental channels have been
kept constantly flowing, and presents to relatives
and fi iends have been more numerous than years
before. This peculiar feature is noticeable not so
much among the higher classes of society, as
among the poor. Such has been the activity
arising from the wants of the Government in
carrying on the war, that real want has become
comparatively mythical. It is true, that now
then there comes under our observation a case
of bitter suffering, in which the wife and children
of one of our brave volunteers are the victims.
This is not to be wondered at, when the fact is
known that some of the troops, now shivering on
the banks of the Itappahannock, perilling their
lives, and shedding their heart's blood for the
preservation of our common Union, have not
received a cent of pay for over nine months.
Amid 'all this activity of rejoicing, the poor
toldiers languishing in the many hospitals in
our ciiy have not been forgotten. The active
benevolence which has earned for the city of
Philadelphia the high distinction of being lit
erally the "Soldier's Rest," received on Christmas
a fresh impetus, and many were the hearts glad
dened on this festive day. Poultry, and all the
other delicacies of the season graced the tables of
the hospitals, and beaming eyes and happy faces
amply repaid the generosity so liberally dis
pensed.
Since the severe repulse which Burnsidc ex
perienced at Fredericksburg, and which has
probably delayed any very extensive offensive
operations in the East until spring, and the
sudden excitement which was created thereby in
the popular mind, finding a convenient vent in
assaults upon the President, Secretory of War,
Commander-in-chief, and other officers, we have
again settled down iuto comparative quiet. For
a while there was a prospect of a thorough
change in the Cabinet ; but the storm has appa
rently blown over, though we have occasional
rumors, one of which places General Butler, who
is expected to arrived North shortly, at the head
of the War Department, and General Fremont at
the head of the Army. General Butler is by
many icgarded as the man for the place; and
certainly hi courso at New Orleans shows ad
ministrative abilities of the highest order. Of
the latter, though he is the pet of the West, I
cannot say that such an appointment as the one
hinted at would give very general satisfaction
here, rremout is not looked upon as a man of
extraordinary military ability, and his apparent
want of patriotism in withdrawing from active
service because an iuferior officer was promoted
over him, has weakened him in the eyes of many
who were ouce his warmest advocates.
The examination into the causes which led to
the repulse at Fredericksburg, the delay in fur
nishing stores and pontoons until the heights
above the city were crowned with batteries
which mowed down our troops like grass before
the scythe, has resulted in finding that nobody
is to blame. General Meigs shields himself with
the allegation that the order was given by him
in time, and there his responsibility ended.
And so the same thing may happen again:
thousands of precious lives may be sacrificed,
once happy homes made desolate, and no one be
punished for the gross carelessness. The only
thing clearly established by the investigation
was that General McClellan, when he started
after Lee, left his pontoons behind him, as though
there could be no rivers to cross, and no bridges
destroyed. It really seems as though military
inefficiency were to be our ruin.
Yours, A-c, Philos.
O Among intercepted letters from Knoxvillej
the following list of prices at that point is given :
Common tea, $1G per pound; sugar 75c per
pound ; bacon 35c to 40c per pound ; salt 15c
per pound ; coffee, $3.50 per pound ; flour, $30
per barrel ; wood,$iiu to 3U per cord ; the latter
seems incredible, but so it is written ; apples,
$5 per bushel: pins $1 per paper ; boots, $50 per
pair ; hats $15 to $15, each ; calico, $1.50 per
yard.
t
O Mr. Adams, our Minister, has just trans
mitted to the President of the Royal National
Lifeboat Institution, by the direction of Presi
dent Lincoln, the sum of 100 as a donation to
its general fuuds, and also about 150 more, to
be distributed among the crew of oneof the boats
which went to the relief of the Annie E. Hooper,
which was wrecked on the British coast some
months ago.
O" Henry M. Warfield, Charles Howard, and
S. Tcaken Wallis, who have recently been re
leased from confinement in Fort Lafayette, have
instituted proceedings in the Superior Court of
Baltimore, each to recover $20,000 damages, for
alleged false imprisonment and detention in
Fortress Monroe, from Major-General Wool, who
was tire commander of that post at the time of
the arreet.
GENERAL BUT L E R'S FAREWELL
ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE OF NEW ORLEANS.
The following farewell nddrcss of Gen.
Butler to the people of New Orleans was,
on the evening of the 23d ult., placed in
the hands of Captain John Clark, with the
request that it be issued in The Delta :
Citizens of.Xcic Orleans: It may not
be inappropriate, as it not inopportune in
occasion, that there should be addressed to
you a few. words nt parting, by one whose
name is to be hereafter indissolubly con
nected with your city.
I shall speitk in no bitterness, beoause I
am not conscious of a single personal ani
mosity. Commanding the Army of the
Gulf, I found you captured, but not sur
rendered ; conouered. but not orderly:
relieved from the presence of an army, but
incapable of taking care of yourselves. So
far from it, you had called upon a foreign
legion to protect you from yourselves, I
restored order, punished crime, opened com
merce, brought provisions to your starving
people, reformed your currency, and gave
you quiet protection, such ns you had not
enjoyed for many years.
While doing this, my soldiers were sub
ject to obloqu', reproach and insult.
And now, speaking to you, who know
the truth, I here declare, that whoever has
quietly remained about his business, afford
ing neither aid nor comfort to the enemies
ot the United States, has never been inter
fered with by the soldiers of the United
States,
The men who had assumed to govern
you and to defend your city in arme having
tied, some or your women flouted at those
who camo to protect them. By a simple
order (No 28), I called upon every soldier
of this army to treat tho women of New
Orleans as gentlemen should deal with the
sex, with such effect that I now call upon
the just-minded ladies of New Orleans to
say whether they have ever enjoyed so
complete protection and calm quiet for
themselves and their families, as since the
advent of the United States troops.
The enemies of my country, unrepentant
and implacable, I have treated with merited
severity. I hold that rebellion is treason,
and that treason persisted in is death, and
any punishment short of that due a traitor
giyes so much clear gain to him from the
clemency of the Government. Upon this
thesis have I administered the authority of
the United States, because of which 1 am
not unconscious of complaint. I do not
feel that I have erred in too much harsh
uess, for that harshness has ever been
oxhibited to disloyal enemies to my country
and not to loyal friends. To bo sure, I
might have regaled you with the amenities
of British civilization, and yet been within
the supposed rules of civilized warfare.
You might have been smoked to death in
caverns, as were the Covenanters of Scot
land by tho comniaud of a General of the
Royal House of England ; or roasted like
the inhabitants of Algiers during the French
campaign your wives and daughters might
have been given over to the ravishcr, as
were the unfortunate dames of Spain in the
Peninsular war ; or you might have been
scalped and tomahawked as our mothers
wero at Wyoming by the savage allies of
Great Britain in our own revolution; your
property could have boon turned over to
indiscriminate " loot " like the palace of the
Emperor of China ; works of art which
adorned your buildings might have been
sent away like the paintings of the Vatican ;
your sons might have been blown away
from the mouths of cannon like the Sepoys
a Delhi; and yet all this would have
been within the rules of civilized warfare
as practised by the most polished and most
hypocritical nations of Europe. For such
acts the records of the doings of some of
the inhabitants of your city towards the
friends of the Union, were a sufficient pro
vocative and justification.
But I have not so conducted. On the
contrary, tho worst punishment inflicted,
except for criminal acts punishable by every
law, has been banishment with labor to a
barien island, where I encamped my own
soldiers before marching here.
It is true I have levied upon tho wealthy
rebels and paid out nearly half a million of
dollars to feed 40,000 of the starving poor
of all nations assembled here, made so by
this war.
I saw that this rebellion was a war of the
aristocrats against the middling men, of the
rich against the poor; a war of the land,
owner against the laborer; that it was a
struggle for tho retention of power in tho
hands of the few against the many; and I
found no conclusion to it save in the subju
gation of the few and the disenthrallraent
of the many. I therefore felt no hesitation
in taking the substance of the wealthy, who
had caused the war, to feed the innocent
poor, who had suffered by the war. And I
shall now leave you with the proud con
sciousness that I carry with me the blessings
of the humble and loyal under the roof of
the cottage and in the cabin of tho slave,
and so am quite content to bear the sneers
of the salon or the curses of the rich.
I found you trembling at the. terrors of
servile insurrection. Ail danger of this I
have prevented by so treating the slave that
he had no cause to rebel.
I found the dungeon, the chain and the
lash, your only means of enforcing obedi
ence in your servants. I leave them peace
ful, laborious, controlled by the laws, of
kindness and justice. . .
I have demonstrated that the pestilence
can be kept from your borders.
I have added a million of dollars to your
wealth in the form of new land from the
batture of the Mississippi.
I have cleansed and improved your streets
canals and public squares, and opened new
avenues to unoccupied laud.
I have given you freedom of elections,"
greater than you ever enjoyed.
I have caused justice to be administered
so impartially that your own advocates have
unanimously complimented the Judges of
my appointment.
You have seen, therefore, the benefit of
the laws and justice of the Government
against which you rebelled.
Why, then, will you not all return to .your
allegiance to that Government not with
lip-service, but with the heart ?
I conjure you, if you ever desire to see
renewed prosperity, giving business to your
streets and wharves if you hope to see
your city become again the mort of the
mart of the Western World, fed by its
rivers for more than three thousand miles,
draining the commerce of a country greater
than the mind of man hath ever conceived
return to your allogiance.
If you desire to leave to your children
the inheritance you received of your fathers
a stable constitutional Government if
you desire that they should in the future
be a portion of the greatest empire the sun
ever shono upon return to your allegiance.
There is but one thing that stands in the
way.
There is hut one thing that at t7iis hour
stands between you and the Government,
and that is Slavery.
This institution, cursed of God, which
has taken its last refuge here, in His provi
dence will be rooted out as the tare3 from
the wheat, although the wheat be torn up
with it.
I have given much thought to this sub
ject.
I came among you, by teachings, by
habit of mind, by political position, by social
affinity, inclined to sustain your domestic
laws, if by possibility they might be with
safety to the Union.
Months of experience and of observation
have forced the conviction that the existence
of Slavery is incompatible with the safety
cither of yourselves or of the Union. As
the system has gradually grown to its pres
ent huge dimensions, it were best if it could
be gradually removed ; but it is better, far
better, that it should be taken out at once
than that it should longer vitiate the social,
political and family relations of your coun
try. I am speaking with no philanthropic
views ns regards tho slave, but simply of
the effect of Slavery on the master. See
for yourselves.
Look around you and say whether this
saddening, deadening influence, has not all
but destroyed the very framework of your
society.
I am speaking tho farewell words of one
wha has shown his devotion to his country,
at tho peril of his life and fortune, who in
these words can have neither hope nor
interest, save the good of those whom he
addresses ; and let me here repeat, with all
tho solemnity of an appeal to Heaven to
bear me witness, that such aro the views
forced upon me by experience.
Come, then, to the unconditional support
of the Government. Take into your own
hands your own institutions; remodel them
according to the laws of nations and of
God, and thus attain that great prosperity
assured to you by geographical position,
only a portion of which was heretofore
yours. Benjamin F. Butler.
WHO SENT THEM.
. Old mother Benner was pious, but poor,
In tho midst of her extreme want, her trust
and confidence was put in God.
It was late one chilly night in the autumn
of the year, when two rather wild young
men were passing her cottage on their way
home. One of them had under his arm
some loaves of bread which he had pur
chased at the village store. A faint light
from mother Benner's casement. Said the
one who had the loaves to his companion :
"Let us have some fun with the old
woman !"
" Agreed," said the other.
They approached the house, and peeping
into the window, saw the old woman upon
her knees by the hearth, where a few em
bers were mouldering in the ashes. She
was engaged in prayer. They listened and
heard her offer an honest petition for
bread. She wa3 utterly destitute of bread.
In furtherance of their fun, one of them
with the loaves climbed softly up the roof
of the eottage and dropped one loaf after
tho other down the chimney. As the bread
rolled down on the hearth, they caught the
lady's eye, and in the fullness of her heart
she exclaimed :
" Thank the Lord j bless the Lord for
his bounty."
But the Lord didn't send them,"
shouted a voice from the chimney.
" Yes, he did," said she, undauntedly,
' the Lord sent them and tho Devil brought
them."
m i
"The dove, recollect, did not return
in Mnah with the olive-branch till the
second time 'of-her going forth, why, then,
should you dcspona.ai me iauure ui a war.
attempt r
DR. FRANKLIN'S ONLY SON.
While the name of Dr.-Franklin occu
pies so prominent a place in the history of
our country, it may not be uninteresting to
give some accountof his only son, William
about whom we think little is known by
tho oommunity at large. Unlike his father,
whoso chief claim to veneration is for the
iuvaluable services he rendered his countrv
in her greatest need, the son was, from first
to last, a devoted loyalist. Before the rev
olutionary war he held the office of Gov
ernor of New Jersey, which appointment he
received in 17G3. When the difficulties
between the mother country and the col
onists were coming to a crisis, he threw his
whole influence in favor of royalty, and
endeavored to prevent the legislative assem
bly from sanctioning the proceedings of the
General Congress at Philadelphia. These
effort?, however, did little to stay the tide
of popular sentiment in favor of resistance
to tyranny, and soon involved him in diffi
culty, H was deposed by tho Whirrs to
give place to William Livingston, and sent
a prisoner to Connecticut, where he remain
ed for two years in East Windsor, iu the
house of Captain Ebcnezer Grant, near
where the Theological Seminary now stands.
Tn 1778 he waf exchanged, and soon after
went to England. There he spent the
remainder of his life, receiving a pension
from the British Government for the losses
he had sustained by his fidelity. He died
in 1S18, at tho age of 82.
As might be expected, his opposition to
the cause of liberty, 50 dear to tho heart of
his fathar, produced an estrangement be
tween them. For years they had no inter
course. When, in 1784, the son wrote to
his father, in his reply Dr. Franklin says :
" Nothing has ever hurt me so much, and
affected me with such keen sensations, as to
find myself deserted in ray old age, by my
only son ; not only deserted, but to fiud
him taking up arms against me in a cause
wherein my good fame, fortune and life
were all at stake." In his will, also, he
alludes to the part his son had acted. After
making him some bequests, he adds : " The
part ho acted against me in the late war,
which if of public notoriety, will account
for my leaving him no more of an estate
which he endeavored to deprive mo of."
The patriotism of the father stands forth all
the brighter when contrasted with the de
sertion of the son,
A LESSON FROM HISTORY.
The nearest historical parallel in modern
times to the present position of the United
States, is that of France during tho great
revolution in 1 700, after the execution of
Louis XVI. The government of the Re
public was harrassed with all manner of
domestic difficulties, from factions, con
spiracies, rebellions, and finances disordered
to the last degreo of confusion and discredit.
Iu the midst of these internal troubles, war
was declared against France, not by Eng
land alone, but by Austria, Prussia, Ifol
land, Portugal, Sardioia, and Naples, the
Pope and several German Principalities
iu all thirty States, great and small. The
greatest being the chief powers of Europe
and the world.
They took the field with great armies,
and approached France from every point;
this to at a time when in Franco whole
provinces and large cities like Lyons, Tou
lon and Orleans, were in arms against the
Republic, and tho revolt in many places
formidable and for a time successful. To
met these various enemies, the French
Convention called out 500,000 men. This
force did not prove sufficient, and a few
months later a decree was issued putting
in permanent requisition every citizen.
All the young unmarried men, or widowers
without children, from the ages of 18 to 25
were to compose the first lovy. They wero
to assemble immediately in the chief towns
in the districts to put themselves under
drill, and to be ready to start for the
scene of war at a moment's notice. x
The men between 25 and 30 were notified
to get ready, and meanwhile, were repaired
to suppress the revolt of tho Vondeans and
other insurgents, and to keep the peaco of
the interior. The men between 30 and GO
were held in reserve for the more gradual
arming of the populatioa. In certain parts
such as the Departments adjoining La Ven
dee, Lyons, Toulon, and the Rhine, the
whole population able to bear arms wero
at once called out. The means to arm,
equip, and subsist these levies were adapted
to the circumstances.
The first produced in a month G0O.000
men, but these were not soldiers, and for
four or five months the armies of the Re
public suffered a continuous series of disas
ters from panics and want of skill in both
troops and commanders. -But the tide at
length turned, and the Republic net only
expelled the iovaders, but carried its no
torious standard into the adjacent countries.
What France did then the United States
can do now, if the exigencies of the case
demand it.
S3T k. private of the 11th Regiment,
writing to his wife, says: "My breeches
have executed the military movement, 'To
the rear, open order and I must go a tail
oring." STGen. Anderson, of Fort Sumpter
fame, has been assigned to the command of
the troops and fortifications surrounding
Covington and Newport,"Ky.
A SMOOTH DRINK,
Dan says that a year or two ago he hap
pened to have in his compauy a couple of
" broths of boys," who, like all the jolly
" ould Ireland," liked a " bit of a trate" of
something consumedly well, and often in
dulged in it, to his grievous annoyance, for
of course they usually chose the most inop
portune moment to get "cordialled."
On one occasion, in her husband's ab
secc, Mrs. Dan noticed that Miko and Pat
had procured a supply of the "eraytbur,"
and stored the jug that contained it upon a
deserted shelf in the chimney-corner.
Women you know God ble?s 'em, nev
ertheless ! hardly like us of the sterner
sex to " liquidate," and with her sister's
proverbial aversion to the " red eye," my
friend's wife took advantage of the merry
dog's attendance to their chores, and ab
stracted their jug, and substituted in its
stead, one exactly similar in appearance
outwardly so, but not in its innards."
At niht the boys bunked in upon the
kitchen floor, and Mr. D. and his wife re
tired to their room, tho door of which open
edjnto the kitchen, where they could have
ra view from their bed of what might trans
pire between tho bog trotters.
When Mike had given what ho supposed
was ample time for the " boss" to go to
sleep, he " huuehed his neighbor, saying :
Arrah, Pat, let's have a drap?"
"Begorry, so say I, Mike; it's as dry
as a chip, I am entirely, this blessed night."
Up both sprang, aud Pat reaching tho
jug, took it down from its perch, and in
full view of Mr. D. and his wife, who were
watching tho " motions," took a swig. But
tho expression of his face was anything but
a favorable compliment upon .the content".
Mike noticed the contortion and exclaimed :
" Pat what the divil are you making such
a bad look over tho whiskey for ?"
" Faith, Mike," replied his companion,
recovering himself, "it was no bad look at
all, I was after making. I was only think
ing what a smooth drink 'twas, shure."
" Hand over bore," cried Mike, impa
tiently, and applying to his lips, he took a
generous draught.
" Blurenagers I" ho roared, rushing for
the door, where Pat followed him, and tho
noise of their efforts at " heaving Jonah "
made the night hideous.
31 y fiiond and his partner thought they
would crack their sidc3, laughing over tho
affair, aud next morning be went to tho jug
and shook it, but it was badly depleted.
" Miko," he cried, addressing one of tho
two sickly looking Irishmen as ever com
plained, " what on earth has become of all
the linseed oil."
" Linseed ile, is it, sir ?" exclaimed Pat,
with air as though something had cleared
up a great mystery to him.
44 Yes ; I want some to oil the harness,
and I see it is almost gone."
The poor fellow only muttered, " Linseed
ile it was, shure, bad luck to it then ; it
went down mighty smooth."
This was too mucu for my frieud, as ho
had to give vent to his pent up laughter, at
which Pat vamoosed, but in such dudgeon
that tho mention of a u smooth drink"
wakes up the shillalaigh in him whenever
one hazards to hint at it.
ADVICE TO JOKERS.
A new work published in London, en
titled, " Tho hand-book of Joking," gives
the following advice, which is worthy of
remembrance :
" Always let your jokes be well-limed.
Any time will do for a good joke, but no
time will do for a bad one. Any place will
fit, provides the joke itself be fitting, but it
never fits if a joke be out of iU place. No
man can order a joke as he would his coat,
at Stultz's or his boots at Hoby's. Jokes
are not only out of order, but we have
known jokers ordered out; in short, any
man who attempts to joke out of order,
should either be provided with a straight
wasitcoat, or be kicked out of society. In
concocting pkes, as in making puddings,
each person employs similar materials, but
tho quality of the dish is entirely dependent
on the skill of the artisto. As gold be
comes refined by passing through the ordeal
of fire, so truth is the purer for being tested
by the furnace of fun ; for jokes are, to
facts, what melting pots are to metal. The
utterer of a good joke is a useful member
of society, but the maker of a bad one is
a more despicable character than the veriest
coiner by profession.
A joke from a gentleman is an act of
charity ; an uncharitable joke is an ungen
tlemanly act. The retort courteous is the
touchstone of good feeling ; the reply churl
ish the proof of cold-hearted stupidity,"
i-Theia is nothing like the gallantry
of manners there used to be some fifty years
ago. Now a gentleman lifts his hat to a
lady ; then the bat was entirely removed
from the head, and the gentleman stood
before her uncovered. Now the gent takes
a smack from her ruby lips, and hardly
looks red in the face; then, he struggled
for the smack, and never drew a long
breath for half an hour after. Then ho
kneeled gracefully to tie up her shoe string;
now, she puts her foot into his lap and he
ties tho string with a gap and releases the
foot, without an ecstacy, or even a tight
squeeze. Wo are growing somewhat bar
barous. ItrMurfreesuoro is entirely deserted. Our
armv has advancedten miles beyond.
