Newspaper Page Text
THEANACONDA STANDARD: WEDNESDAY MORNING. DECEMBER IX. 1889.
Ita*d little Ids*, wbn I boarded a Third^^mw oar that bowled quietly elon^ pest^Eighteentl^ street las* ^rMint. says a Mew^York Hvrald reporter, that it contained en^invisible wwiiirii in transit.
Therewere only two otbei^In the oar^an elderly woman, who^to be run nine; a pony express^were loaded with bundle*, and a man in a^heavy ujeter. with bis bead down aa if^a.ls.p and apparently nurainc an uncom^^fortable ^Ja^.^ I had not been kmc aeated^when the noiee of fl eh tine cats waa beard^directly under the aeat where the lady eat.^In an Instant the pony express waa in the^air and the bundles new to ail parte of the
Killthem!^ she shrieked. '^Conductor,^let me oft* the ear^quick!
Theconductor stepped forward to calm^the terrified woman, but she refused to he^pacified until her bundles bad been fath^^ered up, the car stopped, and she bad^reached the sidewalk in safety, where she^emaed after the car with the look of a per^^son who had been snatched from the Jaws^of deatk.
TIk conductor then began an investiya-^t'on. Suddenly the rats broke out again,^out this time in the coal-box. Tliere was^a look of having met and captured the^enemy on the conductors face as be^arasped the car-hook and quietly raised^the lid. But only the silent, dusky lumps^of coal met his astonished ease. He closed^the box with a banc while tlie horror that^comes from the first suspicion of ^Jams^^crept over him.
Suddenlyhe jumped hack and looked^down, and well be might, for tlie vora^^cious growl of a hull (log was heard at his^feet. But he saw nothing there ^-xcept ti e^company's barred trap for catching the^change that falls from the bauds of pas-
ishead, and th^^med into a canary cuge.^instant and it was a small African
1the chirping of birds^above his liead, and the^transformed into a canar
washeard^whole car was^Another^forest
ofhowls and cries of wild beasts. Tlie^conductor looked at me, but only the al^^ternating stare of perplexity met his gase.
Aconviction of having ^got ^m^ waa^settling on his face when he noticed the^edges of a quixsical smile creeping up^above the coat-collar of the man in the^ulster. Then he ^tumbled.^ He asked^the man if be were making that noise and^was answered with a hurst of laughter^that could not be controlled any longer.
Tliegentleman would not give his^name, but said he was a well-known ven^^triloquist and had traveled all over Eng^^land and Europe giving exhibitions of his^art. He apologized to the conductor, but^aaid there was a certain kind of women ha^met in his travels that always excited au^uncontrollable desire in him to spriiij^menagerie under them. He got^Grand street.
FACTSWORTH KNOWING.^There are 2,750 languages.^Watches were first made in 147B.^A barrel of rice weighs 8C3 pounds.^The average human life is HI years.^A barrel of flour weighs 196 pounds.^A barrel of pork weighs 3U0 pounds.^The first steel pen was made in IK*).^A hurricane moves 80 miles per hour.^The value of a ton of silver is ^47,704.84,^The first lticifer match was made in 1H2^.^Tlie first iron steamship was built in^183U.
Modernneedles first came into use in
theswere first built in England in^first horse railroad was built in
Telegraphwires have to be renewed^every five or seven years.
Cinemillion dollars of gold coin weighs^pounds avoirdupopois.
Onemillion dollars of silver coin weighs^.%*^.!rjo.H pounds avoirdupois.
Until17711 cotton spinning was per^^formed by tlie hand spinning wheel.
Albert1 hirer gave the world a prophecy^of future wood engraving in 1527.
Glasswindows were first introduced^into England in tlie eighth century.
Thefirst complete sewing machine was^patented hy Elias Howe in lH4^i.
Measure2W feet on each side, and you^will have a square acre within au inch.^^H^^/7^iiij;/^^^'^ Annual.
HeWanted to Mlooks.^^I saw a fine exhibition of honest, un^adulterated nerve the other night,^ re^^marked a yonng man about town to an^Albany Aryu* man. ^I was going down^State street,^ lie continued, ^when a well^dressed young fellow, a stranger, stopped^me.
'I beg your pardon,' he remarked, 'but^I want to ask you a question.*
'Well, what do you wish to ask V*
'I want to know whether you have^real good cigar altoot you '.*'
'Yes, I have several., 1 remarked.
'Then, if you will. I wish you would^give me one,* said the fellow, coolly.
'Why should you ask me for a cigar^I never even saw you before.'
'I am well aware of that, hut I really^want a good smoke. I haven't a cent,and^nothing else, except a ticket to take me^down to New York, where I live**
1looked at him. I admired the frank^coolness of the fellow, and I took out my^cigar-case and gave him his choice. H^^took one out, asked me for a light, got it^remarking 'I am really obliged to you,^bade me good night, and walked on^ look^ing very contentedly.
Altnoun DRAMA.^Hero^I love you.^Heroine^Ah! I am so happy.^Stern father, rejected suitor, or^woman^They shall never marry!^They marry.
HeroI love you.^Heroine^I adore you.^Heroine's husband Ito Hero's wife) -I^worship you.
Hero'swife ito Heroine's husband^^I^idolise you.
Alltake poison in act fifth.
Reviseor deodorise, as the case may^require, one of the foregoing.
BaalMtteaPrayer.^From the M. Lewis Heaablls.
ChaplainTrone, of the Missouri legisla^^ture, not long since attended a reunion in^northern Arkansas and made such a good^talk that an old fanner, who was present,^hearing that the orator waa a preacher,^aaid that he would like to hear him pray.
Whatdo you want me to pray for^'*^aaked the chaplain.
Oh,anything will do,^ was the reply.^I Just want to bear what kind of a prayer^you can make.
.^Well.^ replied the chaplain, ^when I^make any exhibition prayer up at Jeffer^^son City the state of Missouri pays me for^it. It wouldn't be fair to do it for you for^nothing.
^^-ftulll^n.^Froai the Texas Minings.
TeacherWhat is meant by the ex^^pression, ^mother tongue '.^*
BoyIt means that tlie old man doesn't^nave much to say about the house.
Wat.L. HOGB, President.
MARCUSDALY, Vic* Pres't.
W.M. Thornton. Cashier
CAPITAL, - - $100,000^Commenced business April 19. lH*a.
Buysad sell Domestic and Foreign
transacta general hanking business.
Collections promptly attended to.^change drawn on London, Kdlnburg.^Ulasgow, Dublin, Belfast, Paris.^Hamburg. Berlin and all the^leading cities of Europe.
AmericanExchange National Bank^S Bank
Wells,Fargo as Co
Huge,Brownlee 4b Co
Merchants'National Bank.^Clark ^ 1 .arable
... Deer Ixxtge
.^^. I'll KI.I'SVice-Pres. and Act. Cashier
.E. ATKINSONAssistant Cashier.
A.Q. Clarke.1 let man ^ Jans
H.F. Oalcn,l'etcr I .arson,
C.W.Cannon,K.C.Wallace,^H^C. Ashhy,D. A. Defy.
PioneerNational Hank of Montana
DesignatedDepository of U.
PaidDp Capital, ^^Surplus and Profits,
Istumbled over an old-fashioned hair^trunk as I jumped on the front platform^of a crowded horse-ear in Morrisatiiu tlie^other afternoon, Kays the New York Star^reporter. A spruce looking young dude^was using it as a foot-rest, and when the^conduetor rame out to collect fares he^told the young man that he wanted an ex^^tra fare for carrying tlie trunk. ^I've^paid my fare, mid that's all you get from^me.^ said the dude.
Allright,^ snarled tho conduetor;^^'then off it goes,^ and a moment later he^had bundled it oft* into the roadway. A^eon pie of blocks farther on the conductor,^who had been glowing at the dude all the^way. said: ^I told you I'd throw it off.^and I did. see^
What'sthat to me^^ said the young^fellow quietly. ^It isn't my trunk.
Whilethe conductor was running back^after the trunk the dude stepiied off the^ear, and. with the remark, ^serves him^right for thinking I'd own such a looking^thing,^ disappeared in the gathering
TheDrawback.^From the Boston Courier.
CustomerThere's one drawback to a^business like yours.
Barber- Whet is K'.'
C.It is impossible for men of your^calling to get rid of unpleasant a, quaint^nnees.
B. I would like to know why
t*.You can't afford to cut any body.
TheWorst Torture Yet.^From the New York Sun.
Mrs.(ianain: ^Oh, the barbarity of^the Russian government!^ (.aixeni:^^What has it done now V^ ^Imprisoned^a woman nihilist in a cell swarming with^mice.
...AssistantCashier^Second Assistant Cashier
Lookingand planning for Holiday Gifts^is the work of the present.
Wecordially invite the preliminary vis^^it of inspection and wish to impress you^with the robust fact that we have no old^styles, no shop-worn goods to force on you^at high prices. Our stock is all new, and^large additions will be made to it in the^next ten days.
J.MERRILL ^ CO.
FirstStreet, f-Jear ^^1air\,
JELL,HILL ^ THERRIEN.
EstimatesFurnished on all Classes of Work.
Someof the Finest Buildings in Helena and Anaconda^Have Been Built by this Firm.
OrI is left for Jobbing at I. F. Kirby's Hardware Store will receive prompt attention.
JELL,HILL 61 THERREIN.
Announcesthe arrival of Two Car Loads of
Heatirvgar\d Gook Stores
FORWOOD AND COAL.
Comeand see the Handsomest Line of Stoves ever shown in this^market. Don't forget to come.
STKIGEKA PAUL, Proprietors.
Breweryat West End Fourth Street.
HSKFOR HNHCONDH O!
111^ ^ ^ 1
HOAKOOF DIKKt'TOKS:^S. T. Ilmiser,John 4'. t'urtlii,
A.M. Hotter.H. S. llHiniltou,
tlrauvtlh-Stuart.^^. 1*. IliuKins,
T.II. Kl.-iiis.liiiii.lt. H.-nry M l*arclien.
T.c. rwsjer,^lienerul liankliiK business transacted. Interest^paid on time iio|sisiis.
(w.a. i'l.akk, .1. h. ^ I.auk,
s. K. I.AKAni K^.
Doa Oeni'rat Hanklnic llusin^-ss anil Draw Kx-^rlianici'on all the rriwiital Cities of tlie Worl.l.^Hny Ooltl I lust. Hold liars. Silver Hull lo 11 ami^t'ounty Warrants, t'ollcetion* sraatpUjr att.-ml-^en to. Correspondents: First National Hank,^New York; Hank of Kritish North America,^Montreal: Continental National Hank. Cliieaico:^Omaha National Hank, Omaha; MeCnrinlrk ^^Co., Salt Lake; First National Hank. San Fran^^cisco.
Says,charges low, sspreislly lo 111^woasen. Th.- iloetor has nevuses' in^thousands who have bees) .-u-.-.l, u^i-ury. The iloetor i-ures where otiie^effects a euro.
t'.-rsoiisat a .listanee .-111.si at lion^treat m.lit.
SI'H'IM.TIKS llawaavsaf Hie kiilm-ys. liv^tie nature, turners, eam-ers ami erti|*4i\e ft-^I) as si-arlet, trillion1 ami -i...II. .1^K. Villi
DRUGS,FANCY GOODS, ETC.
ParticularAttention Given to Pre^^scriptions.
Willbe at the Montana,Anaconda,Dec.l3 to 15/89
A.M., M. D.,
PracticalPhysician and Surgeon
COKNKKMAIN ANI^ HKOADWAY,
III^ITK ( ITV,^(Kit j. H. Hoycf *^ Mtur**, I(^n^ims 7 ami *,^Where In- m*-l*- an t-nviahl-* n*iMitalinn in IiIm^r|m-* Ultv I'm ;tt^\ t hrtmi^ . ami m-rimiM ^li^^r.uhk *^f in. n and WolTifli, whether tan****1! liy iih^|^i ii^leiiee, Mfi mm or eofita^ioii, Meiniual weak^lit***, iiulil IosHfXlial ihhlht^. MMM of mMuI^miwer, tierviHIM ^h'hlht\, I^I^mn| illsMHTtlrrm, ele.^I'nrahle OmwM wan anteif |q etire in a very short
tlnieormoney refutnh'iI. ti^nt remem iu a few
tr-attiieiit on l-'ii^l i\s jiM tiisi-.isi-s nC i^ i^ *^ ^ m^i^ie ^%|M*eialt ^ , an^l hts in idl.ittit \ is nl t. *^.| h^ the^PMatfllUj InJpti^l hy nt^ n^-*v iiK'thtMl. withoiit the ii*ie of iner^fail. Try him. Mr. si-hull/ w ill make no rhar^tt*i i'iil^ s^ lie
AlleominniiU'-Uion* utrietl) ^ minth-nti.tl. h. ii.I for trietl
ei.IntitfM, rh^ iimat i*^iii an^l ail eru|^t i v ^^ ^lis**a*e*^ of i^\eis tMftiliai to ImhIi ma!*-** ainl f.-malesi. al^*^ erti|^-^id|^htherui. *^at isf.i. t em k'uai Hit e. ^|^f tie* Miitu tota^l of hniiian sutlrrnia: In ^i*hm*mI hy
pri\atenat^Iix ^* fe\er*
ItKAI^ THIS TWH K. Kullv oiie-^\eiiereal e\e*'sses, diseases ami tlieir reHiilt
Thewomierfnl Itnssian New UeineOy is the Lest ami surest of alt nn^am hit ion ami \ iuor in those wliu suffer from all |^rivatt^, rhrtHiic anil n^ami skin iliseanes, Hyphihs, serofuhiM, favons, ery**^u^*'l^*M, sail i heuiu, \^all ini|Mirities *if the'hhMMl eauKiiitf eru|Mions, |nni|.(^^^*, hloteie *^. fallum^I*ri\ati* ^h-*.-a-*es iciuioirho*a, ^rleet, Mrietnie. r. .Inn ami hhtihler
MaileffeetM of youtllflll follies ami e\.-ess^'v wlllell so lldAl flieli for hllHllietiM or pleasure.
ThewiHiilerful Miti*r#-mm of iIiIm new reimity ^ I * i^^ t nl s u|^^n tin- f.ui that it supplies an element^Wlllell 1m fiMiml want un.! Ill the IiIimmI of Weak men.
lr. Ss'hult/ will forfeit *-.m for any east taken inder his new reinetU which he fails to cure |te^nieliilNT that this is m^t a pat- nt imilieme. A written pen *iant.-^^ to refuml tin* money if it ilmn m4^effei't a rnre. Sew reinei|^ for inU*m without th^- llMf off |m^Ini^ii or im reury
oftleehours from u A. M. to I I*. M., '. T M. loll Mf M.
ilieiuibMfor restorinis! striuiirtli,
iviils thseas. s, ^U^ h M hlotNl
inphins. psoriasis, eti*., ami^nil ^^f I he hair. ete.^trouhle . i ^stisis, ami all the
ATUH| RATES OF INTEREST.
FRHNCISL. IDE. Agent,^Northwestern
KeepYour Eyeon Missoula
Profitby the histories of Seattle, la coma,^Spokane ami Helena.
BuyMissoula REAL ESTATE new
amidouble your investment in six mo^I* or information address^MeCONNELL, COOK
RealEstate Brokers, Aiissoula, Mont.
SUBSCRIBEFOR IT NOW I
ITIS THE LARGEST AND BEST EQUIPPED^NEWSPAPER IN MONTANA.
@J ^IIH. Daily Standard has the most
completenews serznee in the North^^west.
Inaddition to the regular Associated^Press dispatches it has a special wire ex^^pressly to cover the general news from^every quarter of the State.
TheStandard will give to its readers^every day all the news relating to politics^or to the business and social life of the day.
Trythe Standard for the campaign.
Voncan get it for one dollar a month.
WGALESTATE FOR SAL6
NICHOLS,HELEHAN ^ CO.,
62East Broadway, Butte. Montana.
AM ^ room housr ami lot hear V. I*. ^t^-|^nt
Two-tiolre iiStatcf ltom^*B In South Hittte, *-^^^au^l *t.JS^.
AlW'istorymsist* of IS rooms. Iianl DiiKli. il^aixl ^' ll fDriilslicl. with laric** l^as^-iii^ut. sikI hit^ti in list f. ^ ). in ivnU-i ol i-ity, at ^-.n vmiii
Twoiih-.-hiMisa-s smlWiliM ffit, i-wl) on
Ad/.oiis^itm-t, at a li.iru.un.
AItaricsiii in ^ Imii1^Iii1)C lot S^nt.^A harlwr sls^p lu tc^^^l hs-stloa wtta oss)^)v^r'^ U ;um- m t-u |m-r mouth, aaaa)^Two iiu-,- homes oa t'olorsUo strwt, ^l.uuo and
A.Vroom brh*k, ^-entrally Us-atv.1, f-.'.TSO.
Au^^ r two story brick, well QnlslMMl seal
MINING STOCKS BOUGHT AND SOLD.
6STHT8 MINI NC
AndColltH-tiiiir Akt^nt.^Hirst Street, Nt^ar Main, ....
W1io1.-k.iU-and rt tail dt-ult-r in
Stapleand Fancy Groceries and Provisions.
lioslif.^.mIh ittid low prit-vs.
DSPEC1HL RTTENTION TO r=7*C7wTI I_*V TI