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HABTFORD, OHIO COUNTY, KY SEPTEMBER 22, 1875. NO. 38.
quarterly free of charge For further parties
J .10. V, sinrrr A Co., iaiieT,
For the Hartford Herald.
N.lKI.Mi CP nOLOII.
BT LEX. n. CCSIXIN3.
'Twas a beautiful evening,
And sweet shone the moon,
Her soft rays were as bright
As mid-day in June,
As away to the well
I concluded to go,
Where a beautiful girl
Was making np dough.
The tea-kettle at home
Was simmering low.
For want of the fluid
To boil it, you know.
So I drew up the water,
Reluctant and slow,
And gated long at the girl
A miking up dough.
I tat down to the table
Quite thoughtful and sad.
The "Young Hyson" was weak,
The beefsteak was bad,
So I took np a biscuit.
Quite natural, you know,
And I thought of the girl
A making up dough.
I dreamed in my sleep,
While the stars shone above,
Like so many warm biscuits.
All wrap'd np in loTe;
Of the white tapering arms.
And cheeks all aglow.
Of the sweet witching creature
A making np dotgh.
I concluded each evening
To visit the well,
And draw op the water,
Entranced by the spell
That gleam'd from the window,
Until I should know
The Angelie creature
A making up dough.
I remember it well
Just as I was leaving,
I stumbled and fell:
My head ltrnck the window
It frightened ber so
The timid young creature
A making up dough.
All matters explained,
She laughM at her fiarf,
And blushed when I told her
The fault was all hers;
To me, nothing more beautiful.
E'en the roses that blow.
Than the witching young creature
A making np dough.
Tim, with his troubles,
Has rolled on each year,
Changing joy into sorrow
And doubt into fear,
And I sigh at the chaages
The roses to mow
On the cheeks of my darling
Who made np the dough.
THE BLACK TULIP.
BY ALESWDIin IU MAS,
Author of the "Count or Monte Crlsto,"
The Three Unnnl-imen,"- "Twenty
Y.-n- AtteiV-Mraireloiuie, the
Vnlllcrr. The Iron
.MiltU," Etc., Etc.
THE TCLir nXAXCEH AJD HIS NEICUDOR.
Whilst the burghers of the Hague
were tearing in pieces the bodies of John
and Cornelius Dc Witte, and whilst Wil
liam of Orange, after having made sure
that his two antagonists were dead, was
galloping on the Leyden road, followed by
Captain Van Deken, whom lie found a
little too compassionate to honor him any
longer with his confidence, Craeke, the
faithful servant, mounted on a good
horse, and little suspecting what terrible
events had taken place since his depart
ure, proceeded along the high road lined
with trees, until he was clear of the town
and the neighboring villages.
Being once safe, he, with a view of
avoiding suspicion, left his horse at a
livery etable, and, quietly continuing his
journey on the canal-boats to Dort, soon
descried that checrfuf city, at the foot of
a hill dotted with windmills. He saw the
line red brick houses, mortared in white
linens, standing on the edge of the water,
and their balconies, open towards the
river decked with silk tapestry embroid
cred with gold flowers, the wonderful
manufacture of India and China; and
near the brilliant stuff?, large lines set to
catch the voracious eels, which are at
tracted towards the houses by the gar
bage thrown every day from the kitchen
into the river.
Craeke, standing on the deck of the
boat, saw, across the moving sails of the
windmills, on the elope of the hill, the
red and pink houc which was the goal
of his errand. The outlines of its roof
were merging in the yelloiv foliage of a
curtain of poplar-trees, the whole habita
lion having for back-ground a dark grove
of gigantic elms. The mansion was 6it
uated in such a way, that the sun, fall
ing on it as into a funnel, dried up,
wanned, and fertilized the mist -Svhieh
the vcrdent screen could not prevent the
river-wind from carrying there ever morn'
ing and evening.
Having disembarked unobserved among
the usual hurtle of the city, Craeke at
once directed ht9 steps towards the house
which we have just described, at" which
white, trim, and tidy, even more clean
ly ecourd and more carefully waxed in
the hidden corners than in the places
which were exposed to view inclosed a
truly happy mortal.
ti.:. 1 1-1
xuie uapi-y luunai, rara uvtt, as
Doctor Van Baerle, the godson of Corne
lius De Witte. He had inhabited the
same house ever since his childhood; for
it was the house in which his father and
grandfather, old-established princely
merchants of the princely city of Dort,
Mynheer Van Baerle, the father, had
amassed in the Indian trade, three or
four hundred thousand guilders, which
Mynheer Van Baerle, the eon, at the
death of his dear and worthy parents,
found still quite new, although one eet of
them bore the date of coinage of 1 G 10.
and the other that of 1010, a fact which
proved that they were guilders of Van
Baerle the father, and of Van Baerle the"
grandfather; but we will inform the read
er at once, that these three or four hun-
drcd thousand guilders were only the
pocket-money, or a sort of purse, for
Cornelius Van Bearle, the hero of this
story, and his landed property in the
province yielded hinvan income of about
ten thousand guilders a year.
When the worthy citizen, the father ol
Cornelius, passed from time into eternity,
three months after having buried his
wife, who seemed to have departed first
to smooth for him the path of death as
she had smoothed for him the path o(
life, he said to his son as he embraced
him for the last time,
"Eat, drink, and spend your money, if
you wish to know what life really is; for
as to toiling from morn to evening on a
wooden stool, or a leathern chair, in a
counting-house or a laboratory, that cer
tainly is not living. Your time to die
will also come; and if you are not then
so fortunate as to have a son, you will let
my name grow extinct, and my guilders
which no one has ever fingered but my
father, myself, and the coiner, will have
the surprise of passing to an unknown
master. And least of all imitate the ex
ample of our godfather Cornelius De
Witte, who has plunged into politics,
the most ungrateful of all careers, and
who will certainly come to an untimely
Haying given utterance to this patcr-
ncl advice, the worthy Mynheer Van
Baerle died, to the intense grief of his
eon Cornelius, who cared very little for
the guilders, and very much for his fath
er. Cornelius, then, remained alone in his
large house. In vain, his godfather of
fered to lirm a place in the public eervicc;
in vain did he try to give him a taste for
glory. Cornelius Van Baerle, who was
present in De Ruyler's flag-ship, "The
Seven Provinces," at the battle of South-
wold Bay, only calculated after the fight
was over, how much time a man, who
likes to shut himself up within his own
thoughts, is obliged to waste in closing
his eyes and stopping his ears, whilst his
fellow-creatures indulge in the pleasure
of shooting at each other with cannon
balls. He, therefore, bade farewell to
De Ituyter, to his godfather, and to glory;
kissed the hands of the Grand Pensiona
ry, lor whom he felt a profound venera
tion, and retired to his house at Dort. he
possessed every element of what alone
was happiness to him.
He studied plants and insects, collected
and classified the Flora of all the Dutch
islands, arranged the whole entomology
of the province, on which he wrote a
treatise, with plates drawn by his own
hands, and at last, beins at a loss what
to do with his time, and especially with
his money, which went on accumulating
at a most alarming rate, he took it into
his head to select for himself, from all the
follies of his country and of his age, one
of the most elegant and expensive, he
became a tulip fancier.
It was the time when the Dutch and
the Portugese, rivalling each other in
this branch of horticulture, had begun to
idolise and almost worship that flower,
which ongtnallv had come from the
Some people from Dort to lions began
to talk of Mynheer Van Baerle's tulips;
and his beds, pits, drving-rooms, and
drawers of bulbs were visited, as the gal
leries and libraries of Alexandria were by
illustrious Roman travelers.
Van Baerle began by expending his
yearly revenue in laying the ground
work of his collection, after which he
broke in upon his new guilders to bring
it to perfection. His exertions, indeed
were crowned with a most mignificent
result: be procured three new tulips.
hich he called the "Jane." after hi
mother; tha "Van Baerle," after his
father; and the "Cornelius," after his
godfather; the other names have escaped
us, but the fanciers will be sure to find
them in the catalogues of the times.
In the beginning ot the year 1672. Cor
nelius De Witte came to Dort for three
months, to live nthis old family mansion;
for not only was he been in that city, but
his family had been resident there for
Cornelius, at that period, as William
of Orange said, began to enjoy the most
perfect unpopularity. To his fellow-
citizens, the good burghers of Dort,
however, he did not appear in the light
of a criminal who deserved to be hung
It is true, they did not particularly like
his somewhat austere republicanism, but
they were proud of his valor; and when
be made his entrance into their town, the
cup of honor was offered to him, readily
enough in the name of the city.
After having thanked his fellow-citizens,
Cornelius proceded to his old pater
nal house, and gave directions for some
repairs, which he wished to have execu
ted before the arrival of his wife And
children;' and thence he wended his way
to the house of his godson, who, per
haps, was the only person in Dort as yet
unacquainted with the presence of Cor
nelius in the town.
In the same degree as Cornelius De
.Witte had excited the liatred of the peo
ple, by sowing those evils seeds which
are called political passions. Van Baerle
Jiadgu:ned th i affections of his fellow-
citizens by completely shunning the pur
suit of politics, absorbed as he was in the
! nacoful pursuit of culUT-tiHg tulips-
Van Baerle was truly beloved by his
servants and laborers; nor had he any
conception that there was in this world
a man who wished ill to another.
And yet it must be said, to the dis
grace of mankind, that Cornelius Van
Baerle, without being aware of the fact,
had a much more ferocious, fierce, and
implacable enemy than the Grand Pen
sionary and his brother had among the
At the time when Cornelius Van
Baerle began to devote himself to tulip-
growing, expending on this hobby his
yearly revenue and the guilders of his
father, there was at Dort, living next
door to him, a citizen of the name of
Isaac Boxtel; who, from the age when he
was able to think for himself, had in
dulged the same fancy, and who was in
ecetacicsatthemerc mention of the word
Boxtel had not the good fortune of be-
ng rich like Van Baerle. He had, there
fore, with great care and patience, and
by dint of strenuous exertions, laid out
near his house at Dort, a garden fit for
the culture of his cheerished flower; he
had mixed the soil according th the most
approved prescriptions, and given to his
..tbeds just ns much heat and air as
the strictest rul.-s of horticulture exact.
Isaac knew the temperature of his
frames to the twentieth part of a degree.
He knew the strength of the current of
air, and tempered it so as to adapt it to
the wave of the stems of his flowers.
His productions also began to meet with
the favosof the public They were beau
tiful, nay, distinguished. .Several fanci
ers had come to o Itoxtcl'. tulip. lie
had even started a tulip which bore hig
name, and which, after having traveled
all through France, had found its way
into Spain, and penetrated as far as Por
tugal; and the King, Don Alphonse VI.,
who, being expelled from Disbon, re
tired to tlu Island of Terceira, where he
amused himself, not, like the Great Con-
de, with watering his carnations, but
with growing tulip? had,. 011 seeing the
Boxtel tulip, exclaimed, "Not so bad, by
All at once, Cornelius Van Baerle,
who, after'all his learned pursuits, had
been seized with the tulipomnnia, made
some changes in bis house at Dort,which,
as we have stated, was next door to that
of Boxtel. lie raised a certain builditi-
in his courtyard by a story, which, shut
ting out the sun, took half a degree of
warmth from Boxtel's garden, and, on the
other hand, added half a degree of cold
in the winter; not to mention that it cut
the wind, and disturbed all the horticul
tural circulations and arrangements of
After all, this mishap appeared to Box.
tel of no great consequence. Van Baerle
was but a painter, a sort of fool who tried
to reproduce, and disfigure on canvass
the wonders of nature. The painter, he
thought, had raised his studio by a story
to get better light, and thus he had only
been in the right Mynheer Van Baerle
was a painter, as Mynheer Boxtel was a
tulip grower; he watited somewhat more
sun for his painting, and he took half a
degree from his neigobor's tulips.
The law was for Van Baerle, and Box
tel had to abide by it.
Besides which, Isaac had made the dis
covery that too much sun was injurious
to tulips, and that this flower grew quick
er, and had a belter coloring, with the
temperate warmth of morning, than with
the powerful heat of the midday 6un. lie,
therefore, felt almost grateful to Cornel
ius Van Baerle for having given him a
May be this was not quite in accord
ance with the true state of things, in gen
eral, and of Isaac Boxtel's feelings in
particular. It is certainly astonishing
what rich comfort great mind-t, ' in the
midst of mountainous catastrophes, will
derive from the consolations of philoso
phy. But, alas I what was the agony of the
unfortunate jsoxtet on seeing the win
dows of the new story set out with bulbs
nnd seedlings of tulips for the border, and
tulips in pots; in short, with everything
pertaining to the pursuits of a tulip-fancier.
There were bundles of labels, cup
boards, and drawers with compartments,
and wire-guards for the capboards, to al
low free access to the air whilst keepinj
out the sings, mice, dormice, and rats,
all of them very curious fanciers of tulips
at two thousand francs a bulb.
Boxtel was quite amazed when he saw
all this apparatus, but he was uot as yet
aware of the full extent of his misfortune,
Van Baerle was known to be fond of ev
erything that pleases the eye. He studied
nature in all her aspects for the benefit of
his paintings, which were as minutely
finished as those of Gerard Dow, his mas
ter, and of Mieris, his friend. Was it
not possible, that, having to paint the in
terior of a tulip grower', he had collect
ed in his new studio all the accessories
Yet, although thus consoling himself
with illusory suppositions, Boxtel was not
able to resist the burning curiosity which
was devouring him. In the evening,
therefore, he placed a ladder against the
partition-.-y.all between their gardens, and,
looking into that of hiswighbor Van
Baerle, he convinced himsef, the'soil of
a large square bed, which had formerly
been occupied by different plants, was re
moved, and the ground disposed in beds
of loam mixed with river mud (a combi
nation which is particularly favorable to
the tulip), and the whole surrounded by
a border of turf to keep the soil in its
place. Besides this, sufficient shade to
temper the noon-day heat; aspectS.S.W.;
water in abundant supply, and at hand;
in short, every requirement to insure not
only success but also progress. There
could not be a doubt but that Van Baerle
bad become a tulip-grower.
Boxtel at once pictured to himself this
learned man, with a capital of four
hundred thousand, and a yearly income
often thousand guilders, devoting all his
intellectual and financial resources to the
cultivation of the tulip. He foresaw his
neighbor's success, and he felt such a
pang at the mere idea (if his success,
that his hands dropped powerless, his
knees trembled, and he fell in despair
from the ladder.
And thus it was not for the sake of paint
ed tulips, but for real ones, that Van
Baerle took from him half a degree of
warmth. And thus Van Baerle was to
have the most admirably fitted aspect,
and, besides, a large, aiiy and well-ventilated
chamber, where to preserve his
bulbs and seedling; whilst he, Boxtel, had
been obliged to give up for this purpose
his bed-rrom, and, lest his sleeping in the
same apartment might injure his bulbs
and seedlings, had taken up his abode in
a miserable garrctt.
Boxtel, then, was to have next door to
him a rival and successful competitor;
niul lti. ril, ittJ of-bcing- e jiiicun
known, obscure gardener; was the god
son of Mynheer Cornelius De Witte, that
is to say, a celebrity.
Boxtel, as the reader may see, was not
possessed of the spirit of Poms, who, on
being conquered by Alexander, consoled
himself with the celebrity of his con
And now if Van Baerle produced a
new tulip, and namad it the John De
Witte, after having named one the Cor
nelius? It was indeed enough to choke
honest Isaac with rage.
Thus Boxtel, with jealous foreboding,
became the prophet of his own misfor
tune. And, after having made this mel
ancholy discovery, he passed the most
wretched night imaginable.
Continued next week.
IXTXItVIEV I.J A FARMER.
The nUrotirac-eiiient of n Crop Re
Wishing to keep posted as to the con
dition of the crops, and to ascertain the
exact amount of damage done by the re
cent flood, a reporter of the Ledger start
ed out this morning on an interviewing
expedition. He was fortunate enough to
encounter a farmer at the edge of town,
bringing a load of hay into the city.
Burning with enthusiasm, the reporter
hailed him. He halted, and the follow
ing colloquy took place:
"How arc you, friend?''
"What's hay now?''
"Same as it always was."
"Dried grass." - -
"What did you think of the rain?"
"Thought it was damp."
"Didn't raise anything then, eh?"
"Nothing but an umbrella.''
"What did your neighbors get?"
"Chills and fever."
"What are you doing now?''
"Sitting out here in the sun, and maybe
mining a chance to sell this hay. Come
up here if you want to talk. '
The reporter scrambled up to the Fide of
his new made acquaintance, and as they
jolted on he again produced his note book
"What did the farmers do last spring?''
"Kan everything in the ground as
"Did your wheat do anything?'
"Can you raise any tobacco?-'
"Yes. Do you want a chew?"
"How are the potatoes?''
"Under the weather somewhat, but
able to be out."
Becoming just the least bit discouraged,
the reporter asked timidly:
"Will you bring many beets to the city
"Got a good load now,'' was the re
joinder, as he checked his horses and
said, "guess you'd better plant what I've
told you, and see what it'll yield. Here's
where you git off."
Remembering that it was just about
time to report at the office, the baffled
searcher after news climbed down the
side of the wagon, and thinking that a
soft answer turneth away wrath, he
"That's nice hay, my friend; where
did it come from?"
"Timothy seed," was the reply.
The interrogater grew faint, but he
summoned up courage enough to ask:
"What do you think you will get for
'Cash of course. Get up whitey, this
fellow will talk us blind in n minute. He
asks more questions than a catechism'
and before the discouraged representative
of the press could recover from his sur
prise, the hay wagon had turned an ad
Fnrmers anil Newspapers.-
We have been frequently surprised to
see how many farmers well to do in
worldly riches, neglect or refuse to take
some good paper for the- benefit of him
eelf and family. They seem to think
they have no interest in the affairs of the
world; that they have to deal with noth
ing except the land they plow or the stock
they feed, and their children rearing into
ignorance. They forget-they are a part
of the human family, placed upon this
orb to work out the plans of the good and
wise Creator, and as such have no right
to hamper the great streams of progress.
The laws of progression are as unalter
able as any others of nature and that
man who impedes those laws with an off
spring children uneducated and besotted
with ignorance commits a sin which
reacts not only upon himself but on his
decendents for long years in the future.
Newspapers are made to spread intelli
gence and improve the morals of man
kind. To the farmers above all men,
they should be a necessity, from the fact
that they afford him in his isolated con
dition the only means of mixing in the'
busy eccnelTof life. Man in his innate
state becomes a personification of selfish
ness, caring only for himself. Develop
ment comes alone fiom associating with
our fellow men, and appropriating to our
selves the advancement which they make.
no iflrmersiioulutlo without tins social I
schooling, both for his own cood and
that of his children; an J in no way can
it be obtained so fully and cheaply as
through the newspaper and periodicals
literature'eKthe day; and he who neglects
to receive These advantages deprives him
self of light.and lives out his days in
worse than heathen darkness.
The Southern Mocking Iltrtl.
But we must throw aside a handful of
botanical specimens, and a page of mem
oranda for letter writing, else we should
linger in these Mississippi woods nil sum
mer. Hark! "Lfaten to the mocking!"
Yonder on that water oak, how proudly
he balances himself on the swinging
bough. Will he sing? Yes. Only
hearken. His notes are clearer than the
notes of a flute, more shrill and ringing
than the falsettos of the most perfect flag
eolet, endless in variety as if his octaves
reached into the etherly skies, and modu
lated with a grace beyond the range of
words to express. He takes up the song
of the thrush, the time-beat of the robin,
the caroling of some distant swallows too
faintly remote for our coarse cars to hear,
the victor call of the lark mounting into
the face of the sun, the chattering of the
blue bird' and a score of remembered ca
dences from summers that are gone, and
hearken! He transposes them into a
new creation. His original variations
Eurpass Gottschalk's grandest liberties
with "Home sweet Home." He swells
his mellow melodies into an anthem; it
rises, falls, repeats, strikes on, a very
blessed Bablc of confusing bewitching.
captivating song, with notes too quick
for pulsing time or quivering heart to tell
miracle of melody. And this from the
throat of a stray mocking-bird, one of a
million in theMississippi woods? If God
has so endowed a wild warbler of the
forest, what rapturous surprise awaits us
in the eternal morning when the new
song blinll strike our ravished ears'
Plnln Tnlk on n IMnln Subject.
The Rev. Dr. Bartol, of Boston, gave
expression to these emphatic views on
Sunday last when referin-r to the case of
Jesse Potneroy: "If we would have no
monsters about us in the community, let
not idiots or insane pair, or scrofolous or
consumptives, those soaked in alcohol or
conceived in lust, entering the world dis
eased in body or mind, or ovcrweighed
with any propensity or passion, be al
lowed to marry, any more than wc would
have a nursery for wolves and bears, or
cultivate poisonous ivy, deadly night
shade, or apple-tern in the incloaure 0
our houses, our yards and fields. Society
by righteous custom, if not by statute
law, hasn right to prevent, to forbid the
multiplication of monstrous specimens of
humanity. That mewling, puking, droll
ing, wailing baby ought not to exist; it
is no blessing, but a curse of nature and
God on the mi-doing ot men and uo.nen "
Hhe Cnrcd Illm.
At last she completely cured him. For
month she had patiently endured the
pangs which so many thousand of young
wives arc compelled so suffer. Almost
every morning at breakfast the husband
expressed the hope that he might live to
see the day when he could get such coffee
as he used to have at home. Or such
corn bread as his mother was wont to
make and bake. At dinner the meat
was ovcrbaked in the range. To be sure
his mother used to roast the meat in an
old-fashioned tin oven, and the piece was
always dun to a turn the last turn of the
revolving spit. Those days were forever
gone. But he might and ought to get
such a green apple pie, with new cheese
as his mother used to give him. At
length the long suffering wife arose in
ber wrath, upset the takle, sending the
dishes and their contents crashing to the
carpet, strided over to her astonished hus
band, gave him a box on. the ear, which
knocked him off the chair, and remarked
'There's a clip over the head for yon.
uch as your mother used to give you
when you was a boy, goldern yer.'
Thereafter there was domestic peace and
quiet in that house, with never an alia
sion to the paternal cookery and comforts
of the by-gone days.
Dr. Austin Flint, of New York, an em
inent physician and gentleman, has
written an elaborate essay on the impor
tance of having trained and skilled nurses
for the sick.
We fully agree with the learned Doc
tor. It is important. But where, outside
of hospitals, are such nurses to be found?
They can only be obtained by teaching
wives and mothers not the aged but the
young women to be nurses. And
should be a part of the education in all
our fashionable seminaries. There is not
a professor in one of them whose instruc
tion is so important to the comfort and
longevity of the race as what one "old
There is many a young widow wearing
her weeds, who might dress in colors, to"
day, if she had only known how to take
care Of her husband when illness over
took him. This nursing is a matter, not
of policy and convenience, but of life and
death. And yet while young women
must thrutn we believe that is thejund.
or phrase pianos, if not till the crack of
doom, till wc should think it would
crack it is not deemed worth while to
teach them ho- to keep drinks cool for
parched nnd fevered lips, and how to
change and place a pillow so ns to make
tt seem to those weary with illness almost
like the rest of heaven.
And so husbands, who might have
lived, die; and young widows abound;
but, then, yon know, to some black is
more becoming than colors.
A marvelous piece of mechanism, in
the way of clocks, is described in the
French journals. It is an eight day in
strument, with dead-beat escapement
maintaining power. It chimes the quar
ters, plays sixteen tunes, plays three
tunes every twelve hours, or will play at
any time required. The hands go round
as follows: one, once a minute; one, once
an hour; one, once a week; one, once a
month; one, once a year. It shows th
moon's age; the rising and setting ofth
sun; the time of high and low water.
half ebb, and half flood, and, by a bean
tiful contrivance, there is a part which
represents the water which rises and falls.
lifting some ships at high water tide as i
they were in motion, and as it recedes,
leaves these little automaton ships dry on
the sands. The clock shows the hour of
the day, day of the week, day of th
moneh, month ofthe year.and in the day o
the month there is provisions made for
the long and short months. It shows
the sign ofthe zodiac;' it strikes or not, i
chimes or not, as may be desired; and it
has the equation table, showing the dif
ference of clock and sun every day of th
A Kn 111 Cnre.
At a festival at a reformatory institution
in New York recently, a gentleman said
for the cure of intoxicating drinks: "I
overcame the appetite by a receipt given
me by old Dr. Hatfield, one of those good
old physicians who do not have percent
age with a neighboring druggist. When
I called on him he said, "now that you
have the moral courage, I'll tell you th
tonic winch I have used with effect
among my friends for twenty years."
expected, of course, some nasty medicin
stuff, but no, he prescribed an orange
evry morning, a half hour before break
fast. "Take that, and you will neither
want liquor or medicine." I have done so
regularly and find that liquor has become
repulsive. The taste of the orange is in
the saliva of the tongue, and it would be
as well to mix water and oil as rum with
Now will the festive bed bug skirmish
around the "ragged edge" of the sheet
seeking a "soft spot" upon the "tall form'
ofthe "painfully modest" young lady wh
ari-cs sleeping and' screaming, strikes
a light, goes in search of the intruder,
murmuring, "I almost wish that I" was
The September number ot the time
and School Journal contains strrrral im
portant decisions of the State Superin
tendent of Pnblic Instruction, and the ac
tions of the State Board of Education,
relative to school matters. Below we?
give the decision of the State Board in
regard to the power ami daly e-fatrns-tee
in assessing tases for schocl ptrrpo
The trustee- has power to- assess a poll
or capitation fas of fifty em's per annum
on all the patrons of the district for pro
viding the school house with fuel. etc.
What is the meaning of "patron!" liv
ery one having the right to vote in an
election for trustee is a "patron." Com
mon schools are not instrtnlerl for private-
benefit, but for the pnblic good. The ob
ject is to prepare for ihe better eaereiae
of the functions of citizenship As the
general and district tax, when voted.
levied upon all proj errty-hoHers alike.
whether deriving any d.rect benefit from
the common-school or not, upon the the
ory that intelligence is one of the safe
guards of liberty; so this potl tax U lev
ied and mnsl be paid, because the bene
fit of a well-conducted common-school
accrues to the public
A Mntnal HUnnIeratanlln-r.
Detroit Free Prtis.
Two colored citizens Saturday had s
little trouble on the postoffice cotdct.
"Sit, I stigumtize you as a falsehooJ-
fierl" exclaimed the first.
"And yon, sir, arc a cantering hipel-
critef replied the second.
'Ah! talk awayf" growler! the first
"but my character is above disprosch."
"And yonr influence don't detach from
my reputation one Iowa!" growled th
And thus they parted.
iSome of the company at tea with t
Dinbnry family, spoke of the excellence
ofthe honey, whereupon the head of the
house, who stands in reputed dread of bin
wife, feelingly said: "Honey is the most
delicious of delicacies. It is the nectar
ofthe beautiful flowers, sipped from th
brilliant petals by the never-tiring bee.
and moulded into a glory that would
tempt te god of." "Bpbriam," enun
ciated his wife, with stern solemnity.
'have you been drinking again?"
At an auction of household goods on -
Harrison avenue yesterday, when a wo
man had made a bid on an old burean
worth about two dollars, a boy slipped
around to another woman and whispered:
"You see that woman over there with
a Hue bow on?"
"Well she says no woman with a red
nose can buy anything at this sale."
The woman with the red nose pushed
her way into the crowd and run the price
of the bureau np to $12, and as it was
knocked down to her she remarked:
"I may have a red nose, but no cross
eyed woman with n blue bow on can bluff
me. Detroit Free Tress.
Jones gave a lawyer a bill to be col-.
lected to the amount of $10. Calling for
it after awhile, he inquired if it had been
collected. "O yes, said the lawyer, "I
have it all for you." "What charge for
collecting?" "0"faid the lawyer, laugh
ing, "I'm not going to charge yon why.
I have known you ever since you were a
baby, and your father before jou; $CO
willTe about right," handing over $10.
Well," said Jones as he meditated over
the transaction, "It's darned lucky he
didn't know my grandfather, or I
shouldn't have got anything."
A wild-eyed man, carrying his s hat in
his hand, entered the lake Shore depot
yesterday and called out to a man who
was wheeling a baggage truck along:
"Where's the traiu?"
"Any train any trainl My wife isn't
ten rods behind, and she's got an ax
handle over her shoulder and sulphur
in her evcM" Dttroit Tree Preu.
A Jsjjenchnian learning the English
language complained of the irregularity
ofthe verb "to go,'" the present tense of
which some wag had written out for hint
as follows: "I go; Ihou startest; he de
parts; we make tracks; you cut sticks;
they absquatulate or skcddadle."
A Chicago man carries a knile, gimlet,
corkscrew screwdriver, paper of pine, book
of receipts, nails, string, postage stamp-,
and buttons in hi? pocket, and is always
willing to accommodate any ona inquir
ing for anything.
A Milwaukee boy has swallowed half
a doxen steel buttons, and his mother
doesn't have to scream for him when he
is out on the street playing with the
Jones boys. She just brings a magnet to
the door and he flies to it like a needle to
The printer who, in setting np a fash
ionable article, made one line read,
"scandals are fashionable this year," in
stead of randals, was not very far out of
the way after all.
When you hear a mm say the world
owes him a living, don't leave any hams
laving around loose, m