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HAHTEORD, OHIO COUNTY, KX SEPTEMBER 29, 1875. NO. 39.
I lore oil maldi and alien did,
And hate the folks ai marls about 'em,
And know thia strange old alrth o' ourn
Could never git along without 'em
I've loved 'em ever finee I knowed
That they was wimin same as others,
TVho marry only for a home,
And bear the name o wires -and mothers.
But, marsy knowil they're jist as good,
And tbey disarre as much o' honor
As she who breaks her neck ter get
The yoke o marriage put upon her.
Dot some folks could't live nor die,
If 'twasn't fur piekln and for quarTin',
And so old maids are made ter take
A sartain share of all their enarlin'.
And batchelors poor fellows, tool
They ketch 'it sharp as Greenland winters,
From folks whose souls and tempers are
Made mostly up o' thorns and splinters.
But I won'd jist bo pleated to know
If they ain't free ter do their choosin';
Ter many, or ter marry not
Jist as they think it gain or loosin'.
If they have loved and they have lost.
And there are graves beneath the daisies,
Titirgrlrf dfirvf our lympatly.
Their cwilanof dtierret cur prat tel.
THE BLACK TULIP.
BY ALEXANDRE DUM.VS,
Antbor or the "Count oi3Ionte Cristo,"
Tiie Throe Guardsmen," "Twenty
yean Anr,,llrrlonii, the
Hon or Atho,"I.onlr Ik
Yalllerr "The Iron
Huk," Etc Elr.
TltK HaTUED OF A TlTMP-FANn CU.
. From (lint moment Boxtel's interest in
tulips vrn no longer a stimulus to his ex
ertions, Lut a deadening anxiety. Hence
forth all lila thoughts ran only 11)1011 tlie
injury which It I n neighbor would cause
Iiim, anil thus his favorite occupation
was changed into a constant source of
misery to hi in.
Vnn Baerle, ap may lie cafily imagined,
Iind no soouer begun to apply his natural
ingenuity to his new fancy, than he suc
ceeded in growing thejinest tulips. In
deed he knew hrtter than any one else at
Jlanrlem or Leyden the two towns
which Jioaet the best coil and the most
congenial climate how to vary the col
ors, to modify (lie shape, and (o produce
Mynheer Van Baerls and his tulip,
therefore, were in the mouth of every
body; so much so, that Iloxtel' name
disappeared lor ever from the list of the
notable tulip-growers in Holland, and
thoe of Dbrt are no- represented by
Cornelius and Van Baerle, the modett
and inoffensive savant.
Engaging heart and soul, in his pur
suits of BOwtng, planting and fathering.
Van Baerle, caressed by the whole fra
ternity of tulip-growers of Europe, enter
tained not the least suspicion that there
was at his very door a pretender whose
throne he had usurped.
He went on his career, and consequent
ly in his triumphs; and, in the course of
ttro years, he covered his borders with
such marvellous productions, as no mor
tal man, following in the tracks of the
Creator, except, perhaps, Shakespeare
and Kubens, have equalled in point of
And also, if Dante had wished for a
new type to be added to his characters of
the Inferno, be might have chosen Box
lei during the period of Van Baerle's suc
cesses. Whilst Cornelius was weeding,
manuring, watering his beds; whilst,
kneeling on the turf-border, he analysed
every vein of the flowering tulips, and
meditated on the modifications which
might be effected by crosses of color or
otherwise, Boxtcl, concealed behind a
amall sycamore which he had trained at
the top of the partition-wall in the shape
of a fan, watched, with his eyes starting
from their sockets, and with foaming
mouth, every step and every gesture of
his neighbor; and, whenever he thought
lie saw him look happy, or described a
smile on his lip., or a Hash of content
ment glistening in bis eyes, he poured out
towards him such a volley of maledic
tion and furious threats, as to make it in
deed a matter of wonder, that this veno
mous breath of envy and hatred did not
carry a blight on the innocent flowers
which had excited it.
When the evil spirit has once taken
hold of the heart of a man, it urges him
on without letting him stop. Thus Box
tcl was soon no longer content with see
ing Van Baerle. He wanted to sec his
flowers too; he had the feelings of an ar
tist; the master-piece of a rival engrossed
his interest. "
He therefore bought a telescope, which
enabled him to watch, as accurately as
did the owner himself, every
progressive development of the flower,
from the moment when, in the first year,
its pale and seed leaf begins to peep from
the ground, to that glorious one when,
after five years, its petals at last reveal
the hiddden treasures of its chalice. How
oflen had the ttiserable jealous man to
observe, in Van Baerle's beds, tulips
which dazzled him by their beauty and
almost choked him by their perfection.
And then, after tho first blush of the
admiration which he could not help feel
ing, he began to be tortured by the pangs
ofenvy, by that ov fevrr which creeps
over the heart and changes it into a nest
of vipers, each devouring the other and
ever born anew. How often did Boxtel.
in the midst of tortures which no pen is
able fully to describe how often did he
leel an inclination to jump down into the
garden, during the night, to destroy the
plants, to tear the bulbs with his teeth,
and to sacrifice to his wrath the owner
himself, if he should venture to Bland up
for the defence of his tulips.
But to kill a tulip was a horrible crime
in t'eeyesofa genuine tulip-fancier; as
to killing a man, it would not have mat
tered so very much.
Yet Van Baerle made such progress in
the noble science of growing tulips, which
he seemed to master with the true in
stinct of genius, that Boxtcl was nt last
maddened to such a degree as to think of
throwing sticks and stones into the flower
stands ofhis neighbor. But remember
ing that he would be sure to be found
out, and that he would not only be pun
ished by law, but also dishonored for
ever in the face of all the tulip-growers ol
Europe, he had recourse to stratagem;
and, to gratify his hatred, tried to devise
a plan by means of which he might gain
his ends without being compromised
He considered a long time, and at last
his meditations were crowned with sue-
One evening he tied two cats togc'l""-
by their hind-legs with a string about
six feet in length, and threw them from
the wall into the midst of that noble, tiiat
princely, that royal bed, which contained
not only the 'Cornelius De Witte," but
liesidcs the "Beauty of Brabant,', milk-
white, edged with purple and pink; the
"Marble of ltolterdam," color of flax,
blossoms, feathered red and llesh-color;
and the "Wonder of Haarlem," dark
dove-color, tinged with a lighter shade of
The frightened cats, having alighted on
the ground, first tiied to fly each in a d il
frrcnt direction, until the string by which
they were tied together was tightly
stretched across the bed; then, however,
feeling that they were not able to get off.
they began to pull to and fro, and to
wheel about with heart-rending caterwnt.
ings, mowing down with their string the
flowers among which they were disport
ing themselves, until, after n, furious strife
of about a quarter of an hour, the string
broke and the combatants vaniehed.
Boxtcl. hidden behind his sycamore,
could not sec anything, as it was pitch
dark; but the piercing cries of the cats
told the whole tale, and his heart, over
flowing with gall, was now throbbing with
Boxtel was so eager to ascertain the ex-
lent of the injury, that he remained on
his post until morning to feast his eyes at
the sad state in which the two cats had
placed the flower-beds of his neighl or.
The mints of the morning chilled his
frame, but he did not feel the cold, the
hope of revenge keeping his blood at fe
ver heat. The chagrin of his rival was
to pay for all the inconvenience which he
At the earliest dawn tiie door of the
white house opened, and Van Baerle
made his appearance; approaching the
flower-beds with a smile of a man who
had passed the night comfortable in his
bed, and has had happy dreams.
All at once he perceived furrows and
little mounds of earth on the beds which
only the evening before had been as
smooth as a mirror; all at once he per
ceived the symmetrical rows of his tulips
lo be completely disordered, like the pikes
of a battalion in the midst of which a
shell has fallen.
He ran up to them with blanched
Boxtel trembled with joy. Fifteen or
twenty tulips, torn and crushed, were
lying about, some of them bent, others
completely broken and already withering;
the sap oozing from their bleeding bulbs:
how gladly would Van Baerle redeemed
that precious sap with his own blood !
But what was his surprise and his de
light! what was the disappointment of
his rival ! Not one of the four tulips
which the latter had meant to destroy
was injured at all. They raised proudly
their noble heads above the corpses of
their slain companions. This was enough
to console Van Baerle, and enough to fan
the rage of the horticultural murderer
who tore his hairat the sight of the effect
of the crime which had been committed
Van Baerle could not imagine the
cause of the mishap, which, fortunately,
was of far less consequence than it might
have been. . On making inquiries, he
learned that the whole night had been
disturbed by terrible caterwaulings. He,
besides, found traces of the cats, their
footmarks and hairs left behind on the
battle-field; to guard, therefore, in future
against a similar outrage, he gave orders
that henceforth one of the under-garden
era should sleep in (he garden in a sentry
box near the flower beds.
Boxlel heard him give the order, and
saw the sentry-box put up that very day;
but he deemed himself lucky in not hav
ing been suspected, and, being more than
ever incensed against the enccsssful hor
ticulturist, he resolved to abide his time.
Just then, the Tulip Society of Uaar
!lcm offered a prize for (he production of
the large black tulip without a spot of
color, a thing which had not yet been ac
complished, and was considered impos
sible, as at that time, there did not exist
a flower of that species approaching even
the dark-nut-brown. It was, therefore,
generally said that the founders of the
prize might just as well have offered two
millions as a hundred thousand guilders,
since no one would be able to gain it.
The tulip growing world, however, was
thrown by it into a state of most active
commotion. Some fanciers caught
at the idea without believing it practica
ble; but such is the power of imagination
among florists, that, although considering
tiie undertaking as certain to tail, all their
thoughts were engrossed by that grand
black tulip, which was looked upon ns
chimerical as the black swan or the
white raven were reputed to be in those
Van Baerle was one of the tulip grow
ers who were struck with the idea; Boxtcl
thought of it in a light of a speculation.
Van Baerle, ns soon ua the idea had once
taken root in his clear and ingenious
mind, began slowly the necessary sow
ings and operations to reduce the tulips,
which he had grown already, from red to
brown, and Iroui brown to dark brown.
By the next year he hud obtained
flowers of a perfect nut-brown, and Box
tel espied them in the border, whereas he
Jiad himself, as yet, only succeeded in
producing iiir,lighl brewn.
Boxtel once more worsted by the su
periority of his hated rival, was now
completely disgusted with tulip-growing,
and, being driven half mad, devoted
himeelf entirely to observations.
The house of his rival was quite open
to view: a garden exposed to the sun;
cabinets with glass walls, shelves, cup
board, boxes and ticketed pigeon-holes,
which could easily be surveyed by the
telescope. Boxtcl allowed his bulbs to
rotin the pits, his seedlings to dry up in
their cases, and his tulips to wither in
the borders, and henceforward occupied
himself with nothing else but the doings
at Van Baerle's.
But the most curious part of the ope
rations was not performed in the garden.
It might be one o'clock in the morning,
when Van Baerle went up to his labora
tory, into the glazed cabinet whiihcr
BoxiePs telescope had such an easy ac
cess; and here as soon as the lamp illu
minated the walls and windows, Boxtcl
saw the inventive genius ofhis rival at
He beheld him sifting his seed, and
soaking them in liquids which were des
tined to modify or deepen their colors.
He knew what Cornelius meant, when,
heating certain grains, then moistening
them, then combining them with others
by a sort of grafting a minute or marvellously-delicate
manipulation he shut
up in darkness those which were expect
ed lo furnish the black color; expose to
the sun or to the lamp those which were
to produce red; and placed between the
endless reflections of two water-mirrors
those intended for white, the pure repre
sentation of the limpid element.
This innocent magic, the fruit at the
same lime of childlike musings and of
manly genius this patient, untiring la
bor, of which Boxtcl knew himself to be
incapable made him, gnawed as he wax
with envey, centre all his life, all hi
thoughts, and all his hopes, in his tele
For, strange to say, the love anil in
terest for horticulture, had not deadened
in Isaac his fierce envy and thirst of re
venge. Sometimes, whilst covering Van
Baerle with his telescope, he deluded
himself into a belief that he was leveling
a never-toiling musket at him; and. then
he would seek with his finger for the trig
ger to fire the shot with which to have
killed his neighbor. But it is time that
we should connect with this epoch of the
operations of the one, and the espionage of
the other, the visit which Cornelius De
Witte came to pay lo his native town.
Cuntiuued next week.
The Man with the Exterminator.
The Detroit Free Press, has this good
one: He smiled blandly as he halted for
a moment in front of the City Hall. He
looked like a man who could palm off
almost anything on the public at 100 per
cent profit and yet leave each customer
in a grateful mood. He had n tin trunk
in his hand, and as he sailed down Lafay
ette avenue the boys wondered whether
the trunk contained tax receipts or horse
liniment. The stranger halted in front
of a residence, his smile deepened, and
he mounted the steps and pulled the bell.
"Is the lady at home?" he inquired of
the girl who answered the bell.
The girl thought he was the census
taker, and she seated him in the parlor
and called the lady of the house. When
the lady entered the stranger rose bowed
"Madam I have just arrived in this
town after a tour extending clear down
to Florida, and wherever I went I was
received with glad welcome."
"Did you wish to see my husband?"
she asked as he opened the tin trunk.
"No, madam; I deal directly with the
lady of the house in all cases. A woman
will appreciate the virtues of my exter
minator and purchase a bottle where a
man would order me oil the steps with
out glancing at it."
"Your your what!'' she asked.
"Madam," he replied' as he placed a
four-ounce phial of dark liquid on the
palm of his left hand, "madam, I desire
to call your attention to my Sunset Bed
bug Exterminator. It has been tried at
home and abroad, and in no case has it
failed to "
"What do you mean sir?" she demnn
ded, getting very red in the face.
Leave the house instintly."-,
"Madam, I do not wish yotjtp infer
from my "
"I want you' to leave this house!" she
"Madam allow liie to explain my "
"I will call the police!' she screamed
making for the door, and he hastily
locked his trunk and hurried out
Gowing down the street about two
blocks he saw the lady of the house at
the parlor window, and instead of climb
ing the steps he stood under the window
and politely said:
"Madam, I don't wish to even hint that
any of the bed-steads in your house are
inhabited by bed-biigg, but "
"Wha! What's that?" she exclaimed.
"I said that I hadn't the remotest idea
that any of the bed-steads in your house
were infested by bed-bugs," he replied.
"Take yourself out of this yard!"
she shouted, snatching a tidy off" the
back of a chair and brandishing it at
"Ieg pardon, madam, bnt I should
like to call your "
"Get out!' she screamed; "get out,
or I'll call the gardcnerl"'
"I will get out, madam, but I wish
you understood "
"J-a-w-nl J-a-w-n!'" she shouted
out of a side window, but the extermi
nator agent was out of the yard before
John could get around the house.
He seemed discouraged as he walked
down Ihc street, but he had travled
less than a block when he saw a stout
woman sitting on the front steps of a
fine residence, funning herself.
"Stout women are always good-natured,''
he soliloquized as he opened
"Haven't got anything for the grass
hopper sufferers!'' she called out as he
There was an angelic smile on his
face as he approached the steps set his
trunk down and said:
"My mission, madam, is even nobler
than acting agent for a distressed
community, the grasshopper stmerers
do not comprise a one-hundredth part
of the world's population, while mv
mission is to relieve the whole world.
"I don't want any peppermint es
sence," she continued as he started to
unlock the trunk.
"Great heavens, madam, do I resem
ble a peddler of cheap essences?" he ex
claimed. "I am not one. I am here
n Detroit to enhance the comforts of
the night to produce pleasant dreams.
Let me call your attention to my Sun
set Bed-bug Exterminator, a liquid war
ranted to '
"Bed what!'' she screamed, ceasing to
fan her fat cheeks.
"My Sunset Bed-bug Exterminator.
It is to-day in use in the humble negro
cabins on the banks of the Arkansaw,
as well as in the royal palace of her
Majesty Q "
'You rr-r.nc.il! villyun!" she wheezs'd;
"how dare you insult me in !"
"No insult, madam, it is a pure mat
ter or "
"L-eavc! Git o-w-t!" she screamed,
clutching at his hair, and he had to go
out in such a hurry that he couldn't
lock the trunk until he reached the
He traveled-several blocks and turned
several corners before he halted again,
and his smile laded away to a melan
choly grin. He saw two or three ragged
children at a gate noticed that the house
was old, and he braced up and entered.
"I vhants no zoap," said the woman
of the house as he stood in the door.
"Soap, madam, soap? I have no
soap. I noticed that you lived in an
old house, and as old houses are pretty
apt to be infested "
"I vhants no bins or needles to-day!"
"Madam, I am not a pedllcrof Yan
kee notion," he replied. "I am sell
ing a liquid, prepared only by myself
which is warranted to ''
"I vhnnts no baper gollers!"' she ex
claimed, motioning him to leave.
"Paper collars! I have often been
mistaken for Shakspeare, madam, but
never before for a paper collar peddler.
Let me unlock my trunk and show "
"I vhants no matches no dobacco
no zicarsl she interrupted; ana lier
husband came around the corner and.
after eyeing the accnt for a moment
"If you don't be guick ous of here
1 shall hafno shokings apout it!'.'
At dusk that night the agent was
sitting on a salt barrel in front of a
commission house, and the shadows of
eveninz were slowly deepening the
melnucholv look on hi face.
It takes only one letter to make Mary
llnvr n Fttrpovc In 1,1 re.
Young man, have you a purpose in life?
What do you intend to be or do? The
question strikes yon, perhaps, with some
thing of novelty. Yet it is the great one
on which your future place in the world
depends If no life purpose is yet formed
in your mind, it is full time that you sat
down and spend a season In grave reflec
tion. Without an earnest purpose, noth
ing worth accomplishing can be done in
this world. Thought, will, energy, work
thceeSfe the elements of success these
are thfematerials out of which men con
struct their fortunes; and if you are
dreaming of wealth, honor or position in
the future, and have not these to build on
and build with, advancing years will see
the beautiful structure that now rises
pleasantly in your fancy fading away like
the "baseless fabric of a vision."
A young man inquired of Daniel Web
ster il there were room in the legal pro
fession. "Yes," replied the statesman,
"plenty of room in the upper stories."
And so, in the eeveral calling", trades
and professions, there is plenty of room
in the upper stories. But only lew hare
the energy to climb up and occupy them.
All honor to the fewl
Wc hear daily the complaint, that all
professions and all branches of industry
are crowded. And so they are. with the
aimless and mediocre. But there is plen
ty of room in all of them in the upper
stories verge and scope enough for live
men, with talent, earnestness and will.
Unhappily the larger number of our
young men are wa-ling their leisure hours
in sensual indulgence or pleasure-seeking.
We find them nightly at the thea
ter, opera, or the ball, or in the compa
ny of idle men or frivolous women, con
tent if they can reach the dignity of an
operatic criticism, or talk learnedly of
the reading and acting of some favorite
wearer of the sock and buskin. A poor
and mean ambition this; no wonder the
intellect ii dwarfed that has in it no bet
A few years will pass, and then we may
look for the great company of these aim
less ones, but look in vain. Their mark
will be seen omewhere upon society,
their names be heard when the world's
benefactors are spoken of. Are you con
tent, young man, to be numbered with
them? If not, gird up your loins, and in
good earnest seek to acquire the utmost
ability in your art, calling or profession
Let each day see you advancing in skill
and knowledg; and as certain as the sun
shines or the water runs, you will ri?e
above the common mass. And just in
the degree that your motives are honor
able and unselfish, will you add happi
ness to success in life.
XTaitlnt; for a Care.
Three or four days ago, within two or
three miles of this city, a Washington
street merchant, who had business in the
country, came to a small creek beside
which a native was washing his shirt.
The man was sousing the garment up
and down and around, and as he "soused"
he whistled a merry tune.
"Do you have to wash your own
shirt?' inquired the merchant, as he hal
ted. "Not alius, but old Bet has got one o
her fits' on jest now," was the ready re
ply. "Then you don't agree very well?"
"Furty well on the general thing
Bet's kind o" mulish, and I'm kind o'
mulish, and when ive get our backs up
we crawl off to see who'll cave first."
"I should think you would want some
"Why don't you get it, then?"
"That would be caring to Bet, stran
ger. She's squatted on the only bit of
bar soap 'tween here and Vicksburg, and
she's jest aching for me to slide up and
ask her for it."
"And you won't?"
"Stranger," replied the native as he
straightened up, "don't I look like a fel
ler that would wear a shirt three months
afore I'd cave in and holler for soap?"
The merchant sided with him, and as
he drove on, the man soused the shirt up
and down and whistled:
"I'm gwine up the river
Hear me holler."
It waits for no man; it travels onward
with an even, uninterrupted, inexorable
step, without accommodating itself to the
delays of mortals, the restless hours
pursue their course; moments press after
moments; day treads upon day; year
rolls after year. Does man loiter, pro
crastinate? Ihe listless or insolent? Be
hold the days, and months, and years,
unmindful of lis delay, arc never slug
gish, but march forward in silent and
solemn procession. ' Our labors and toils,
our ideas and feelings, may be suspended
by sleep; darkness, and silence, and death
may reian around us, but Time is beyond
the power of any human being, besides
Omnipotence. The clock may cease to
strike; the sun to shine; but the busy
hours pass on. The months and years
must continue to move forward.
When freedom from her mountain
height iinfnrled her standard (o the air,
her skirts, pinned back so very tight,
made her appear exceedingly spare.
Some men accumulate by loaning mon
ey on bond and mortgsge. They care
not and will not invest a dollar in private
or public enterprise. Bond and mortgage
will give them a certain return for their
money, notwithstanding the vicissitude of
trade, the drotitht of summer, and the
pinchings of winter. The farmer, the
mechanic, and all who have substantial
property to pledge at about one half its
worth mast pay them tribute. They run
no risk, and do nothing towards giving
employment lo labor, or'aiding those who
depend upon labor for subsistence. There
are many towns, for their prosperity, who
have quite too many who would wring
tneir victims to penury for the use of
their money. In a town not many miles
from my own, are several business men
who, apparently, never learned the secret
of making money through the instrumen
tality of bonds and mortgages. Industry
and good management gave them capital.
That capital was invested in business,
and that business gave employment to
hundreds whose only support was labor.
Not many years ago, an Irishman started.
in the town of Kinderhook, a small iron
foundry. He made money. As he accu
mulated, he extended business, and now
he is engaged, not only in the foundry
business, but has large investments in
cotton manufacturing and mercantile pur
suits. He is emphatically a useful man,
for his means benefit all around him.
Though he makes money, commands and
has it on hand, he knoars nothing about
loaning it upon bond and mortgage. He
uses it in business pursuits builds facto
ries, houses, and opens stores One such
ran is worth a dozen of your money
lenuuic sharks in any community. The
farmer nnd the mechanic are not vassals
to him for the use of his moner, because
he uses it himself. He runs the risk of
high and low prices. The employment
of his capital feeds a large number of
men, women and children, and at the
same time adds much to the prosperity
and wealth of every place in which his
investments are made Exchange.
Cheating nn Innocent Old Jinn.
One day last month when trade was
dull, a Vicksburg grocery clerk, procured
a piece of sole-leather, from a shoema
ker, painted it black, and laid it back for
further use. Within a few days an old
chap from back in the country come in
and enquired for a plug of chewing to
bacco. The piece of sole leather was lied
up. paid for. and the purchaser started
for home. At the end of the sixth day he
returned, looking downcast and dejected,
and walking into the store he inquired of
"'Member that terbackcr I got here the
"Well, was that a new brand?"
"No same old brand."
"Regular plug terbacker, was it?"
"Well, then, it's me; it's right here in
my jaws," sadly replied the man,
knowed I wasgettin puny old, but I was
alius handy on biten plug. I never seen a
plugafore this that I couldn't tear to pieces
at one chaw. I sot my teeth on to this
one, and bit and pulled and twisteJ like
a dog at a root, and I've kept biten and
pullen for six days, and thar she am now.
the same as the day you sold her to me.'
"Seemed to be good plug," remarked the
clerk as he smelted the counterfeit.
"She's all right; it's me that's failing!'
exclaimed the old man. Put me out
some fine-cut, and I'll go home and deed
the farm to the boys, and git ready for
The Great Want of the Age 1 Jlcn.
Men who are not for sale, men who
are honest, sound from centre to circum
ference, true to the heart's core, meu
who will condemn wrong in friend or
foe, in themselves as well as others;
men whose consciences are as steady as
the needle to the pole; men who will
stand to the tight, if the Heavens totter
and the earth reels; men who can tell
the truth and look the world and the
devil right in the eye; men that never
brag nor run; men who never flag nor
flinch; men who can hare courage
without whistling for it, nnd joy with
out shouting to bring it;- men in whom
the current of everlasting life runs still,
and deep, and strong; men too large
for certain limits, and too strong for cer
tain bands; men who will not seek to
make their voices heard in the streets,
but who will not fail or be discouraged
till judgment be set in the earth; men
who know their message, and tell it;
men who know their duty and do it;
men who know their places, and fill
them; men who know their own busi
ness; men" who will not lie: men who
are not too lazy to work and too prond
to be poor; men who are willing lo eat
only what they have paid for.
IlMt Thine to Jlve.
J The best thing to give your enemy is
forgiveness, to your opponent tolerance:
to a friend, your heart, to your child, a
good example; to a father deference; to
vonr mother, conduct that will make
her proud of you; to yourself, respect
to all men, charity.
Nrmlble Tocinff IJldlen.
All girls who would 'be happy wire
and beloved and respected mothers, be
real, be earnest in everythtne; let vonr
principles be true, tolerate no sham, and
the superstructure yon shall build there
on shall be animate with yonr spirit,
when you have laltl.dowji this life anil
taken up . renewed existence in another
world. In marriage who would not
rather take to his heart ft reasoning,
thinking spirit, tolerating no selfinflu-
nce but that of uprightness, having re
liant faith, loving sympathy, and active
usefulness, as the only weapons for the
daily warfare of crosses, perplexities,
and endurances, rather than a flippant,
idle, ignorant girl, who, sooner than to
help her mother to lighten her burden
of care and anxiety, ia just the make
weight to pull her to the earth, and to
keep her there; for the mother silently
thinks, "who will marry her?"
With Nothing to bo.
What an anomaly in creation Is n hu
man being with nothing to do. The most
insignificant object in nature becomes to
him or her a source of envy, the birds
eing an ecetacy of joy; the tiny flower,
hidden from all eyes, sends forth its fra
grance of happiness; the mountain stream
dashes along with a sparkle of pnre de
light The object of their creation is ac
complished, and their life gushes forth in
harmonious work. Oh I plantl ob, stream
herein man and woman are powers we
never dreamed of- faculties divine, eter
nal; a head to think, but nothing to con
centrate the thoughts; a hand to do, but
no work done; talents unexercised, ca
pacities undeveloped; a human life thrown
away wasted as water poured on a des
ert. Ob, birds and flowers! ye are gods
in such mockery of life as this.
Woman's Proper Stndy.
Without doubt, the proper study of
womankind is woman. Her attributes.
her governing motives, and the whole
internal enginery of her being can sorely
be better understood and more thorough
ly sifted by those who'-aJJed to the earn
Instinctive bias, possess the practical abi!
Ity to give name and expression to the
emotions which, in those less gifted of
her sex, amount to little more than vague
dreamings. Female writers shonld, of
necessity, devote the best energies of their
minds to the enlightenment, and enter
tainment of their own sex. Theirs is the
right to use the scalpel fearlessly in
probing wounds of whose existence and
depth they alone can form a just con
ception; and theirs the privilege to strike
thetender chords of womanly sensibility
in womanly sympathy.
"Pa," said a little fellow Ibe other
day, "wasn't Job an editor?" "Why,
Sammy?" "Because the Bible informs
us that he had much trouble, and was a
man of sorrow all the days of his life."
A red-haired lady who was ambitious
of literary distinction, found but a poor
sale for her book. A gentleman, in
speaking of her literary disappointment,
said: "Her hair is red if he book is not."
An auditor, in attempting to relate the
joke elsewhere, said; "She has red hair
if her book hasn't
"No, I don't wont none of yonr light
ning rods," said a Kentucky farmer, last
week, to a man who had stopped at his
house to put up patent lightning conduc
tors. "I ain't afraid of lightning, it's
the thunder I belicve's going to knock us
all endwise, some day.' "You don't
seem to comprehend," said the peddler,
"these ere silver-tipped rods are lightning
rods, and the gold-tipped ones are thun
der rods just What you want," and he
persuaded the old man in ordering up the
A fashionably-dressed young woman,
putting fancy touches to the music, was
heard singing, "Backward, pin back
ward, oh, skirt, in your flight; make me
look small again, just for to-night."
An old bachelor, upon reading that
"two lovers will sit up half the night
with only one chair in the room,'' said it
could not be done, unless one of them
stands or sits upon the floor. And such
painful ignorance pretty plainly indi
cates that he has never been there.
The compositor who substituted an
"m" for "w" in speaking of a lady
troubled of "swelling of the feet," accom plished
the worst typographical feat on
"Job printing." exclaimed an old lady,
the other day, as she peeped over her
spectacles, at the advertising page of a
country paper. "Poor Job! they've kept
him printing, week after week, ever since
I larnt to read; and if he wasn't the
patirntest man that ever was, he never
could have stood It so long, no how!"
The longest nights in Xorway lasts
three monlhs.'and when a young man
goes to see his girl, her mother, before
retiring, tells her not to ruin her health
by sitting up more than two months.
"Latin and Greek are all right,," said
a Deleware farmer as he hanltcd his
team, "but gimme a man who can plow
around an apple tree 'th'out touching the