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TIIE OTTAWA FREE TRADER. SATURDAY, AUGUST 2, 1890.
Evolution of Old Dlamitarlans Into
guw Oar Ht.Uiin.n Stand tb. llest-The
rUau.l Hblrt Brlf ! luk.r, of
Boehesler, on Strlk.-Antl-Kumlt.i
Suooumb to tli. Umonat
Washington in July remind you of
Tonbet. both houses remain In ses
lot quarreling over tho silver hill,
tariiT bills, and Federal election bills,
and the minutlm of legislation. Noth
lug is settled and every thing appears to
be drifting out to soa. Members of
both houses are wearing such ting
shirts, white trousers, an- silk Hashes.
They give both houses a picturesque.
appearance. Others wear the tKl fash
loned flannel shirts, without discarding
suspenders. Silver-haired Brcckcn
ridge of Kentucky Is one of these gen
try. With his watch-chain swinging
from bis pocket, his silk scarf and his
debonnat'r air he Is the admired of all ad
Snmn of tho Con-rressmen stick to
the boiled shirt with its glossy front.
Maj. McKinley is one of these. He has
discarded his waistcoat, however, and
moves around the IIouso with thumbs
hanging upon his 'galluses." a verita
ble Napoleon in undress uniiorm.
Other members wear belts with nickel-
TOM KKF.n'8 "IUTiK's I1KI.I.V-I1AND.
plated buckles. Blue- and white Beem
to bo tho favorite colors, although Con
gressman Magner of Brooklyn lias a
belt that would havo done credit to
Blackbeard the pirato. Most wonder
ful of all, however, Is tho Illustrious
Speaker Reed, lie stewed In the juices
of June as long as he could stand it.
and then went to tho flannel shirt. Ills
ample waist is encircled with a black
silk sash. A Texas member on seeing
it said: "Well, Til bo hanged. Look at
Tom Uoed wearing a dudo belly-band."
When Speaker Ueod heard of tho re
mark he threw his head buck and
laughed long and heartily.
New England Representatives have
been guessing and Southern Repre
sentatives reckoning how many yards it
contains. Mr. Reed has not. yet acquired
the self-con lldonco which ought to ac
company tho wearing of a flannel shirt.
His coat is drawn over his breast and
fastened by the two upper buttons.
It looks as though ho was ashamed und
as if he desired to hide as much of
bis shirt as possible.
Henry Cabot Lodge evidently got the
Speaker into this snap. Lodge wears
one of a dark blue color, and at times
looks like a studont frosh from a tennis
court Tho Speaker looks llko an hon
est rutabaga wound in a black ribbon.
The most gorgeously arrayed of all
tho members of tho House is Hon.
Ashbel I'armaloe Fitch. No silk or
negligee shirts for him. Ills linen is
as immaculate as tho driven snow,
Tophetor no Tophet Ills collar and
shirt bosom shlno like waxed fruit, and
his solltairo sparkles like Allaire. Ills
low-cut shoes display elegant silk stock
ings. He roams over the iloor like a
thing of beauty and a joy forever, ar
rayed in white flannel, and sporting an
Some excitement was created the
other day when (ioneral Robert Smalls,
an ex-Congressman, of Beaufort, S. C,
appeared upon the iloor arrayed in a
ult identical with that of Mr. Fitch.
The General is full as portly as Mr.
Fitch and has the same dignified air.
GEN. SMALL'S Willi K H IT.
lie has the advantage of Ashhel in one
particular. Ills complexion sets o II his
snowy irarments to perfection.
In striking contrast to these members
are what might be termed trie old
"Digniiarlans," such as Mr. Candler, of
Massachusetts, Ezra Taylor, of Ohio,
JudgO Holman, of Indiana, and ex-Mayor
Vaux, of Philadelphia. They are the
Nlcene fathers of dress in the House.
Tho heat of this mundano sphere never
disturbs their equanimity. They ap
pear year after ye"? wearing the old
frock-coat, or an alapaca, and the old
fashioned collar. Mr. Vaux leaves the
top of bis waistcoat unbjt toned. It is
a black silk waistcoat, made picturesque
by a huge old-fashioned watth-seaL
which bangs over it, Judge Holmaa
wears a white waistcoat His example
ia followed by Ezra Taylor, Hon.
Elijah Adams Morse, Mr. .Mu teller, of
Pennsylvania, and Mr. Miles, of Con
necticut General Harry Bingham, o!
Pennsylvania, ia a model of oeatoaaa
lie wears a stiff shirt front and a four
in-hand white tie. They set him of!
charmingly, and make him appear cool
and insonclaiit Mr. Springer and Mr.
Coggeshall dres9 themselves the same
There are old time boys who wear
linen coats and resemble the Pendleton
escort of lHtis. Among them are General
Maish, of Pennsylvania. Mr. Funston
and Mr. Morrill, of Kansas, and Judge
Stewart, of Vermont
The hot weather will never drive
such men as Mr. Pool, of Arkansas, Mr.
Klliott, of South Carolina. General
Kotchum. of New York, Mr. Kerr, of
Pennsylvania, Mr. Adams, of Illinois,
Judge Cothran, of South Carolina, and
tho Hon. Roswell P. Flower, of New
York, into wearing negligee shirts.
They stick to the old time costume and
mop tin ir brows every minute with old
time linen handkerchiefs.
Well may tho House and the Senate
rush to their flannels. The heat hero
has been most Intense. Yet, with it
all, there Is no abatement in the num
ber of olllce-scekers. They swarm like
files in a llsh market Pennsylvania
avenue is undoubtedly as hot an avenue
as can be found in the Tinted States.
Tho sun heats upon it every hour in tho
day. Its broad, concrete pavement re
tains the heat, and springs beneath tho
pressure of hot feet A thermometer
placed upon it at eleven o'clock at night
recently registered 113 degrees.
The heal here, like the heat In New
York, Is a humid heat. It melts and
then roasts a man. Marcus Aurellus
Smith, the delegate from Arizona, and
ono of the flannel shirt brigade, says:
"It's a heat that parboils and then
roasts you. Out In Arizona It is hot,
but not steuming hot. lean stand 110
degrees of that dry heat out there much
easier than !0 degrees of this heat
Tho heat in Washington appears to
overcome all physical ami intellectual
life and animation. Men drag them
selves through the corridors of the Cap
itol as though impelled by no mental
motive. Very few use fans. The phys
ical exercise required to wave them is
too much. Some members draw long
breaths at regular Intervals and utter
the words: "Whew, but it's hot" Others
stand in the doors and windows, with
their coat-sleeves abovo their elbows,
and their wristbands thrown back. As
friends pas them they shako their
heads anil say nothing. They aro in a
state of lassitude and cm not summon
even enough energy to talk. Others
like Gen. Splnola. Charles O'Neill and
Asher G. Caruth remain at their desks,
answering letters, blotted by the beads
of perspiration which drop from their
A good story Is told of Hon. Charles
S Raker, of Rochester. Ho usually
DKMOf HAT I.KMONAHK.
walks up to the Capitol. One morning
it was hotter than usual. W hen hair
way up the hill he guvo out He threw
himself upon the sward beneath a mag
nificent tree and said: "There, blast
vou. breathe, if vou want to. I shan't"
Tho Democrats have, In their cloaK
i 1. 1 . i i . i. i
11 - .
room, a large cooler mien wiui lemon
ude. On extremely hot days tho crowd
surrounding this cooler reminds one of
scenes around popular soda fountains on
Street corners. All eagerly quail Uio
coollnir boveraim Some elevato their
heads and nour down lontr tumblers of
It without taking a breath. Others as
sume an attitude of dignity, and tako it
swallow by swallow. A few members sip
it as though It was colfee, maintaininga
lively conversation. All, however, seem
to bo refreshed by it 1 he cooler on hot
days is refilled every hour. On une torrid
day there was a greater crowd than usual
around it Kvervbody commented on
tho Improved quality of tho lemonade.
(Juito a number of artistic Republicans,
hcurimrof Its excellence, crossed over
and treated themselves. Fach smacked
his tins und took a second glass. It was
a long time before the secret of the ex
cellence of the fluid was discovered.
Somebody probably Asher G. Caruth
had surreptitiously emptied three
ouarts of old Kentucky wliisky Into
the cooler. The horror of the Iowa,
Kansas and Maine members was amus
ing. A few of them had partaken of
the lemonade and had praised it in the
highest terms. When they learned
that they had been drinking whisky,
their faces looked as though they had
just received news of the destruction
of their towns by tornadoes, or, worse
still, of another original package de
Joe O'Nell, of Roston, was one of the
unfortunates. Although an antl-pro-bibitionlst
ho had not touched a drop
of whisky liefore for many year. Ho
said that hi wholo inner man re
sponded gallantly to the attack, and it
was with the greatest difilculty that he
brought it down to business again.
Another unfortunate was Congressman
Qulnn, of New York. He was so un
fortunate a not to get any.
The most enraged of all. however,
were the anti-adulteration Representa
tives. They included both prohibition
ists and free-liquor men. All were
equally excited. The free-liquor nen
were angry liocause lemonade was
mixed with tho whisky, and the pro
hibitionist louw whisky was mixed
with the lemonade.
Speaker Reed appeared to be the most
il..d of .11. He .aid he did not
I . I. - 1 . I . . k a l.lna '
members, but he gasped tot breath
when told that members from Kansas
ai Iowa bad fallen victim by tue
RECKLESS COAL QAHOM3.
Tli jr ! Nut Tak Treulil.
M infra' lives.
It is at once it reproach to the corjiora
Hon ami an evidence of the desjierate
needs of the million who toil thut every
uiau engaged in minim; feels that he
take his life in hi hand when he era
barks in tho business for hi daily bread.
Indeed, when the condition of mining
und the Wstowal of the miner are exam
ined, it fuirly look as if improvidence
und recklessness were deliberately 'n.
culcuted upon the masse dedicated to
tho garnering of treasure of the earth.
The hamh t housing the miner and his
family are capriciously set in narrow
gorges, which serve us waterway in
seasons of I'.imhI, or if not in these death
trups iilHUi the thin crust or surface cov
ering actual or arciied mil excavation
Kntire cities, like Scruntoii. Pittston,
Wilkehburre, are built uhui thin crust
of rin k und soil. W hen. us often haj
jH-ns, single houses, whole streets cave
in there is little win made over it. Life
i lost, proH-rty destroyed: there are no
words of reproach in the local press,
no awakening of the gn at coriM.rations
to M't alsMit ii new order of things. A
mere ulimpse at the fabrication nnd con
struct ion of the mountain railways, the
hillside breakers, the subterranean gal
leries impresses this uikii the observer
Everything is put together for the single
object of producing the coal at as smull
n cost a juiHMble. Little or nothing
seems to Is done to make the mining of
it secure, the live of the toilers easier.
The ingenuities of science adapted to
Kjicody results are well paid for by tho
coal men; but, save in rare cases, there
ia no spur for those who seek to make
life secure for the toiler in the shafts.
Fire damps, flooded galleries, crumbling
Hiiimorts aro manifestly regarded us
major force of nature that tin-cunning
of man is incapable of contending with.
And vet for more than h thousand years
the salt mines of Havana have been
worked farther into the lmwels of the
eurtli than any shafts known in this
country, and the records show no acei
dent involving human life. This, how
ever, is not due so much to the more
active philanthropy of the owners a to
the precision of the laws and their zeal
There urn laws for the security of
miners' lives in Pennsylvania, but .-they
are little regarded. The men whose
aafet valid comfort deiieiid iiim.u their
enforcement are naturally the least able
to get them applied. It might naturally
ho supposed that under a condition of
things where the operators find it for
their interest to cease mining three or
four months every year the idle hands
might be humanely employed in secur
ing the shaft against such slaughter.
Helen Htarrett says of the eo-ojicrutive
housekeeping of the future: It will bo
adopted by all who need to live econom
ically und desire to live well. It will
not preclude the largo establishment of
the wealthy, who can afford to keep a
corps of trained hervunts, and who wish
to have their cooking done in their
houses. It will disburden the home of
the incubus of exjieiise und care insepa
rable from tho present system of tho in
dividual kitchen and the irresponsible
It will enable tho youthful lovers to
marry on moderate incomes and set up
at once u happy homo of their own, even
though the young wifo has not. had an
opportunity to learn and consequently
.Iocs not know how to do all kinds of
kitchen work. She will probably never
need to learn all the domestic arts her
mother knew, just us she does not now
need to know how to spin or weave or
knit. Freed from the formerly harass
ing cures of kitchen and servunt the
housekeeper of the future will bo able
to Is'como the ideal holllekecper, to
give proper cure to her children and her
self without abandoning ull tho intel
lect mil pursuits and social pleasures of
In li'Mlli (ireat lli-lliihi.
The movement for better hours and
wages, although mo ;t advanced in Lon
don, has swept all over Great Rritain. The
miners, having secured concessions, are
now determined to make the eight hour
day a burning question, IHHI.OOO men in
the Miners' federation demanding the
limitation by net of parliament. The
trades councils in every town are being
stirred into action by the socialistic
leaven, and are inducing the town und
county councils, school boards and other
local bodies to pay trade union wages to
their employes, and to refuse work to
contractors who overwork or underpay
Tho school board for London has done
good work in this direction, while the
London county council has given many
of its employes the eight hour day, and
keeps u sharp eye on contractors to pre
vent them subletting their work or do
ing it ut less than union rates. This
will 1 followed up by an attempt to su
l'rsede the contractor altogether, the
council to do its own work, directly em
ploying it own men. Frank Leslie's
Slii.T and Nonsense.
Bellamy is accused of taking his book.
"Looking Backward." from an old Ger
luun until r mimed Rebel, who wrote a
novel on the snine lines entitled Wom
en, Iresent and Future." Bellamy meets
the charge with the statement that he
cannot read German and never heard of
UeU-1. Daily Pa-a-r.
Bellamy uever said any such thing.
for he has certainly read the English
translation of Bclsd's lxtok. And any
one w ho has read "Belnd's Woman,' a
it is railed, knows there is uot the slight-
et-t suggestion in it of the doctrine laid
down in 'Looking Backward." Thus do
Uewspajiers generally "reflect the public
What a sad thing it is that our society
is so constituted that when people want
enough wages to maintain themselves
and their families decently they must
form combinations and strike? New
Not Nw loll (iuoil.
Th editor of The Audover Review
look at the eight hour question from a
jmiut of view differing from that usually
taken. Discarding the economic con
sideration he considers it in a Bociologi
cal light. The fewer hours may possi
bly mean less wage, but they bring
advantages of more than compensating
value. To the workman, this writer
maintain, the new time is opportunity.
It mean a chance for mental culture,
for sis-ial udvnnce, for greuter influence
in nil direction. The objection that the
time gained may lie spent in dissipation
is dismissed a unworthy serious dis-
ciwioii. ExiMrienc bus shown thut
where a Fiu.ill mti i itugo misuse their
opjiort unit ie the great majority know
how to turn them to good account.
The general adoption of the eight hour
day will result in el -vating the mass of
workmen from mere mechanical toiler
to thinking workers. The opportunities
for education, dincussiou and social in
tercourse will inevitably tend to inuke
them Is tter citizens and better work
men. They will guiu in every way and
the country will be the hotter for it.
That is a 'mint of view which should not
lo lost sight of by workmen or em
ployer in considering the eight hour
problem. . It i imt simply a question of
work and wages, but one also of mental
und social improvement. Tho workman
will elevate himself in the social scule
by reason of the increased opportunities
which he will know how to turn to ac
count, and he will not look down on his
work Is-causc of hi higher social grade.
The work will guin dignity with the
.workman. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tlie liuri li anil III. Laborer.
One thing is very certain. There is a
great deal of unrest, the present state of
things is extremely unsatisfactory, not
merely to the commonly called luboriug
men, lmt to men of thought, and to many
altove any fear of immediate want. And
at this juncture it ls-coines a question
what attitude the church ought to take
with reference to these matters. It can
not stand aloof, for they touch things in
which it is especially interested, the
lights ami happiness mid prosperity of
men ami women.
The questions ure largely social and
moral, and the oor man want the
church to define its jsisition. Even if ho
does not go to church he know.- enough
oi its preaching und pretensions, enough
of the spirit and teaching of its founder
to know that it is lsuind to be against
all oppression and injustice. In his mind
there is more than a suspicion thut it is
feebly conservative, and is secretjy and
really in ulliunco with the wealthy, ujion
whom it must dejM'iid for material sup
port, and so he scorns it ius false to its
principles and regards it us a thing for
which he has no use. Rev. John K.
Allen, of Tarrytown, N. Y.
The Way They Do It In Fraave.
It is only since 1HH4 tliut trades unions
have been recognized by the French law,
yet the chamber of deputies has now
passed a bill which gives them a strong
er legal Misition than they have ever
claimed in England or America. This
measure, which was carried by a majori
ty of JM7 to 130, prohibits, under penulty
of imprisonment for one to three months
and a flue of $ J0 to 100, any interference
with the liberty of association by way
of threats of dismissal or refusal to give
work, collective discharge of unionist
worlcm-'ii or offers or promises of em
ploy' Tl " f combination is made an
essential i v;ii
all citizens. The in
union laborers bv em-
plovers is :uudo as dangerous u-s the in
timidation of non-union laborers by the
unionists. It seems singular thut this
radical legislation should have been en
acted in a country where seven years
ago trades unions were illegal and even
the assembly of more than twenty per
sons without previous authorization was
prohibited. Christian Union.
ClKitr Miikem' liituriiutloiiat Union.
The completed report of the above
union is o it. Its financial features ure
of interest, iiii'sniuch as the C. M. I. U.
is on" of the most successful labor organ
izations of tho country. Jan. 1, this
year, there was $.8.,i:)u on hand This
money is in the possession of the several
anions, but is really the property of all.
During the year the expenditures were
Mtl.'J i. Of this ri!,51S) went for sick
bcnclits, sjilll.17") for death benefits, $1:1,
540 for traveling expenses, 5,20 for
strikes and $1,488 in defending the union
label. In eleven years the union paid
out l.l:.'8.li(W, of which 4:0,4!:$ was for
strikes. $W8.T83 for the sick, (10,7;tS for
funerals, und $100,044 for traveling mem
bers moving from place to place in seurch
Lou Ante? le )-i-rali.
The Laborers' C'o-operutive Construc
tion company has taken a contract from
the electric ruilwuy to remodel the en
tire system of tracks, ioles and wires,
and will no doubt do u well on this
job as it did on tho sewer contract which
it has just finished. It now cheer
fully dispenses with the middleman
known us the contractor, and divides its
profits among themselves. It goes with
out saying that they are all Nationalists
and members of the Eighth Ward club,
which is now holding oien air meetings
and doing immense good. Los Angeles
The Spanish government is a hard
master. It pays the workmen in tne Al
mandcii quicksilver mines, which yield
an enormous revenue, only SO cents per
dav. and owing to the deleterious nature
of the work the strongest men can only
labor two davs in the week. After five
or six years' work the miners become dis
abled altogether, when the government
magnanimously gives them a license to
a tiling (ilinti't'tv in ' ' w
the expression, "Go to the deuce." Peo
ple generally supixse that "deuce" means
"devil," whereas, us a matter or fact, it
is derived directly from the Latin
"Deus" "God." So when any one tells
you to groto the deuce he is unconscious
ly uttering the best of good wishe toi
GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSSND'S BOOK.
It It DtMil on the Llf. HUtorjr of Alex
Ntw York, June 30. Mr. George Alfred
I'ownsend. who i widely known by his
oom de plume of "Oath," has Just pub
lished a novel or romance which to causing
roniderable comment. It is based iiou
the political intrigue which was designed
to ruin Alexander Hamilton while secre
tary of the treasury, and included in the
plot the Intel esting and hitherto mysteri
ous relation of Mr. Reynold to him.
The story is one of the most exciting and
dramatic in American history, and in his
romance Mr. Tuwnsend relies largely upon
hi own investigations, which apiear to
have been most exhaustive. The book is
attrautinu the attention of scholars like
John Hay, Professor Peck and other in
teres' 1 in history, nnd is, in addition, of
extreme interest to the general lover of fic
tion. Where Mr. Towusend finds the time to
write this and the other romances which
he has heretofore published i known only
to himself, for he is one of the busiest
und in some respects the most successful
of American journalists. His daily "stent"
of newspaH-r writing will uverae not less
than 0,000 words, and he has kept this up
for many years, and sometime far exceed
ing t his amount. He has Id-en, too, one of
the few journalist who have, in addition
to providing doily support, amassed a com
petence, so that now, when he is in the
vigor of his prime, he can look forwurd
with assurance to u life of such independ
ence as lie chooses hereafter.
For many years Mr. Towusend has lived
in New York, but some time axo he bought
an estate ia the tieighliorhoot of Antictum
or the South Mountain of Murylund, which
be calls duplaud and which is a most ro
mantle und beautiful spot. Hi house is u
quaint structure, modeled after his owu
desiuus, large enough for a caravansary,
and is filled with choice books, rare pict
ures and many Interesting mementoes of
his exciting and widely experienced life as
a famous correspondent. Stretching back
for some two miles his estate extends over
the upholds and here, in thut quiet and re-
jsise which he finds necessary to the hest
literury effort, Mr. Towusend purposes to
devote his life more und more to literature
und in the line already so delightfully de
vc loped by hiiu in his historical romances.
The latest novel Mr. lownseud pub
lishes himself. His son-in-law is u well
known dealer iu rare aud curious books
und he has his assistance iu the puhlica
t ion. 1 his rather unusual step is taken
by Mr. Towusend mainly on account of
experiences not fully satisfactory in the
publication of his other novels. He has
found, however, that the exierieiices of u
publisher ure 'JUjLkA' ones and that it is
necessary to possess some militant spirit iu
urder to place one s own book upon the
market. That is u spirit which Mr. Town-
neuil ihisschscs, us was made evident some
days ago, w hen, putting fulse pride aside,
be took copies of his hook under his arm
ami distributed them himself at the differ
ent book stalls in Washington.
Mrs. Reynolds und Hamilton" is distill
uuished by that singular analytical process
ofthoughtwhichcharucteriy.es all of Mr.
rowusend's writings and is graced by his
superior powers of narration und descrip
tion. 1 he book is sure to excite criticism
because the intimation is plain that Jefl'er
son uiiled it lie did not conceive tlie con
spiracy to ruin Hamilton's good name aud
by the coutemptible means indicated iu
the story. Mr. Townseud's urdent sym
pathy with the old Federalist is man
ifested throughout the book, und bis greut
admiration lor Hamilton he glories iu
making evident. E. J. Eowarus.
THE WORLD'S MANAGING EDITOR.
Col. Cockerill and the Way lie Lives and
New Yqi:k, June 80. Col. John A.
Cockerill, who is virtually Joseph Pulit
zer when the chief proprietor and editor of
Tho New York World 1 abroad, probably
has no equal as a resuscitator of semi-defunct
newspapers. In St. Louis, iu Cincin
nati und in Xew York he waved his magic
editorial wand, und from seemingly hope
less ruins there sprung up live newspapers
and splendid fortunes.
Col. Cockerill can't help this. The humor
of the star under which he was born was
to provide him with some sort of talisman
against defeat, and he seems to have worn
it ever since. If you don't believe in the
foolery of astrologers you may conclude
thut t he fact that never in his life was Col.
Cockerill tired, or indolent, or careless, or
stupid, or discouraged accounts for his
brilliant victories in a field full of strong
competitors. If you should attempt to
catch up with him on Park row as he is
making for The World office at 1 o'clock in
the afternoon, you would find that the pace
stirred your blood. Your admiration for
the physical man almost makes you forget
his deeds of bruin. You think of the per
fectly trained and well groomed thorough
bred on his way t" the racing track.
The colonel takes care of hi stomach
and his nerves and keeps his muscle iu
first class working trim. There is an im
pressive suggestion of vitality iu the way
he fill hi lungs and swings his walking
stick. You get the same impression when
you see him cross over to the Astor house
at 4 o'clock for lunch; and if you should
see him striding toward the City Hull sta
tion of the Third avenue elevated road at
3 a. m., after looking over all the proofs
and writing half a do,en news editorials,
you would marvel ut the physical buoyancy
of a man just through the daily grind that
plows such early furrows in the cheeks of
other editor of metropolitan dailies.
The men who make The World havo
time to listen to the suggestion of the
humblest newspaper worker that ever
stumbled upon au Idea. Une instance of
this will enable you to dip deep into the
mystery of Col. Cockerill' grasp on the
uewsptqier situation. I know he doesn't
like being "written up," but that is the
penalty for greatness prescribed in the
statutes. One day a talented and iersist
ent, but then unknown, newspaper w riter
from the west forced a mutual friend to
introduce him, hi object being to obtain
The colonel was courteous, but bored,
and celebrated the occasion by referring to
the large number of idle er.-ioii9 looking
tor a chance to sit around iu uewspr.per
offices at large salaries while overworked
editor skirmished about in search of
something for them to do. The applicant
thereupon casually suggested a novel and
most attractive subject for a series of arti
cles, aud wax giving the details of a skill
fully prepared plan of action when CoL
Cockerill suddenly rose from hi desk, say
"No; you take my chair here and I'll go
out aud do this job."
The lucky applicant had sense enough
not to presume on the good nature of so
appreciative an editor, and from tkat ea
aad all the work he could attend to.
It Proved to lie III Duster ant
rromplly iav It the Nhake.
Yesterday forenoon a tall, slim :
wearing a f uled Oreeley hat and wel
vcloped in a linen duster of aucient
entered the Vt'oodbridge street stutidT
uid to the sergeant:
"I just cume in on the train. Lot
me and sie if I resemble Capt. Kli'
"I cun t ee that you do," replied th
Keant. "Hut people are all looking at me
trriiiniux. Austhiug wrong in my dr
"Well, that-that duster 1 a fifth
'rhups." "Oh! it's the duster. People don't v
Vm any more, eh?"
"Not thut style und color."
"I see. Fin a little uucielltf"
"Well, olf she comes. I bought it in i
town six years ago. The mini warra c
it lo me us a combination of duster,
mock, flying jib, liver pud, bed bla:
burglar ularni, life preserver aud cert it
of moral character, and it has pullet
through a steamboat explosion, two
road smash ups, u hotel (I re und half ad
free fights. Kinder hate to go back on
but style is style. If the sty lo has cn.iu
then I've got to chanue with it."
He (lulled it oil", rolled it into a bit.
uud laid it on a chair and suid:
"(iive it to some poor uud discons
inuii some one who hasn'tasensitivc.--It
bus kept out. the flies, warded ofl
moths and saved me from rattlesnakes
mud dogs, but the time bus come when
must part. When I strike Detroit and 1.
a boy call out 'I that thing alive?' 1 ki
he means me aud thut duster. When
up street uud a man calls out, 'Scho .
ahoy!' I know he means that duster and i.
When 1 get into a car and see the v .
look ine over und then bitch away 1 1 i
they ure wondering which of us is win
whether it will bite or not. Pin too p. :
tive by half, but I can't help it. I leave uer
lu your hands. (Jood-by." Detroit Free
A Cold Weather Story.
I have a story of cold weather which
may serve instead of ice. It wus the cold
est day of last winter, and a trip across the
Boston common wu a short Arctic jour
ney. Around a big tire iu a lieacon street
house were a jolly lot of young people,
when to them entered one of the Hale boys
Edward Everett Hale's sons. Lawrence
Steven's famous saying was under discus
sion: "The Lord temjier the wind to the
"Yes, I know the saying," suld young
Hale, gravely, "und I've often thought of
having n shorn lani'j tet hered out ou the
common near Park square, to try uud
make thing just a little warmer there."
A Timely Job.
Old Ocntleinan No, I cun give you no
money. I don't like to encourune idleness.
Why don't you o to work?
Trump It's easy to suy that, but it isn't
so easy to get u job. I've been trying to
get work ull the year.
Old Oent leman What kind of a job have
you looked for?
Tramp Winding nil eight day clock.
lie Knew by Kxnei-lence.
Teacher John, of whut are your boots
Hoy Of leather, sir.
Teacher Where does leather come from?
Hoy From the hide of the ox.
Teacher What animal, therefore, sup
plies you wit h 1 slots uud shoes and give
you meat to eat?
Hoy My fat her. Chatter.
At tli Annaiiilte Theatre.
Here the female parts are performed by
men in disguise. One evening the play
was slow in commencing and the audience
grew impatient. At length the manager
advanced to the footlights and said: "I
must ask the audience to excuse us a few
minutes; the queen is not yet shaved!"
A Contented Client.
"I tell you what, Heyuiann, the lawyer
is a cute fellow, aud no mistake! I ought
to know, for he lately defeuded my son."
"How's that? I thought your sou had
"Yes, but only for a twelvemoutht"
I'osted In Navy Matter.
Clara What do you thinkf That young
naval cadet Sibmore sent me a "true lover's
knot" in gold cord yesterday.
Maud (all sympathy) What did you do?
Clara (scornfully) .'Sent him buck a scarf
pin representing a pair of sister hooks.
He Was Quite Huugrr.
A lot of men were playing poker at Del
monico's the other night. The party got a
lit t le h u ngry and ordered some sandwiches.
They came, a small but appetizing plate;
also the bill, $14. Shortly afterward a quiet
gent leman asked the waiter to pass him
unot her sandwich. "All gone, sir," was
the reply. The quiet gentleman beckoued
to the waiter and said in i confidential
"(!o down stairs and order some more."
"How many, sir?"
"Well," said the gentleman, thought
fully (.dancing at the bill and the empty
plate, "us I'm quite hungry I should say
alKiut SJ.OOO worth." Hlakely Hall in
Prixlm-ts of the Imagination.
Stranger (ut resta jraut readiug from bill
of fare) - ( iive me some chicken croquettes.
Waiter Very sorry, sir, but there ain't
Stranger Then give me some oyster
Waiter Extremely sorry, sir, but we
have only roast beef, corned beef and stew
ed lieef today.
Stranger Hut where are all these tbinga
that I see ou the bill of fare?
Waiter They're oa the bill of fare, air.
Citizen How is it that you are charging
.uch tremendous pries for ictf I under
.Land thut there is plenty of it. after all.
Ice Dealer Yes; but see how we had to
worry about it all last winter, when we
thought there would bo none. You don't
supjio.se we cau worry like that and not
charge for it f Light.
Wife Wilbur, you haven't saidawd
about the biscuits. I made them all my
Husliand You are so forgetful, dear.
D-j you not remember that the doctor can
tioned me to talk of nothing at the table,
but thiwm l'.-hf and pleasing Yonkara
vaj-ald Ave CuuuiM.