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The Columbia Democrat. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, May 20, 1837, Image 1

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Volume B. BEOOMSBPRG, 003LTOIMA COUNTY PA. SAT AY. MAT So -tag. AlimTtrr ,
tub dyi.vg nor.
It must td (Meet in childhood to give back
The fspiiit ta its Maker, ere tho heart
llalh fpown familiar with tho paths of sin,
And booh to gather up its bitter fruit.
I kncwa,Loy, whoso infant feet had trod
1T.. !... 1.1 :
And wli-m the eighth ennic round, and culled him out
i o revci in in naiu, lie turned away,
And Fought his chamber, to lie down and die.
'Turns night; ho summoned hio accustomed friends,
And this wise bestowed h'u laM reoitMt: ' r
"Mother, I'm dying now,
Tlierc'H a deep suliooation on my breast,
As if some heavy hand my bosom pressed,
And on my brows I feel the cold sweat stand.
Say, Mother is this death!
Mother, your hnndl
Hero lay it on my wrist
And place tho other thus, beneath my . head; ,
And say, sweet Mother say, whcn'I am dead, .
Shall I bo niMseJ!
"Never liesidc ynurkneo '' '
Shall I kneel down nt night and pray,
Nor in tho morning wake, and sinj; the lay
You taught to me. 4
Ohi nt tho time of prayer,
'When yon look round and see a vacant seat
You will not wait then for my coming feet
You 11 nri mo there.
"Father, I'm going homo
To that creat homey on spoke of, that blesi'd laud
Where there is one bright summer, always bland,
And tortures do not come.
Fromfuintncss and from pain,
From troubles, fears, you say I shall bofrco
That sickness docs not enter thcrc,nnd wo' ! ,
Shall meet again.
"Brother, thlllllltn cnnl
I used to call my garden, where long hours
Wo've stay'd to watch tho coining buds anil (lowers,
Forget it not. - .
Plant there some box or pine,
Something that lives in winter, and will bo
A Ypnlant ottering to my memory,
And cull it mine.
"Sister, the young rose-tree,
That all tho spring lias beep pleasant care,
J ust putting forth its leaves so green and fair,
I give to thee;
And when it rnpcllnrtin
I shall be irone awuv mv clinr mumi m . '
And will you net bestow a hingle one
upon my tomb,
"Now, Mother, sing the tunc
You sang hst night. Fin weary, nnd must sleep
Who was it called my name? Nay, do not weep,
You'll all come soon!'
Morning spread ovci earth her rosy wings,
And that meek sufferer, cold end ivory pale,
Lay on bis couch asleep. Tho morning air
Came through the open window, freighted with
1 ho fragrant odors of the lovely spring,
He breathed it not. The laugh of passers by
Jarrcil like n discord in some mournful note,
Dut worried not his slumber lie was dead!
'JJiii3Ba.yjwiuiJijman, ";rrn
Scene, in Tlclrtcbroolt Church.
(rnoM rrusEu's .m.io.zjnj.)
Bottom, I have
Exrournux of sleep como
over me
Midsummer Night's Dream.
During a short tour in the month of July
1830, 1 bccamewcathcr hound on Saturday
afternoon in the pleasant littlo village of
J lcklebrook, and was compelled to throw
myself dn tho tender mnrrMns nf m!nn 1w-c
- w -. UUJV
oi mo iJig and Blunderbuss. It was dos-
porately liot the sky 'pall'd in the dun
ncst smoke of hell' the barometer and
thermometer at variance, and on tho most
'distant terms'the result of the whole be.
Ing a thunder sliower, which mifht have
passcu muster with Noah for a suckinir do
luge; on tho termination of which I was
glad to escape from that catacomb of snit
loons, saw oust, anil doiunct bach vims.
; yciopeu ty courtesy 'the best parlour .' to
the moro satisfactory atmosphere of the
neighbouring church yard. The onlv vis
liblo tenant of this place, beside myself, was
la nugc he goat, who appeared to be miz
zling among tho tombs, as if endeavourimr
Ito awako to companiouship the ghost of
ihome departed bacholor of tho 'anti-Mai-
g$nsiau club,' when percojviiig me, and
jancying, porhaps, that I may bo tho said
Malthus, or Miss Martinoau in unwhisnor-
ablcs, .he approached with such indubitablo
iJj(mptoms of hostility, that I was under thp
necessity of rebutting his attacks with tho
butt cud of my horsewhip. The oxturm.-
Rf the church wore a charaotor of antiquity,
rtvnicn ucspoivo my curiosity for a fttrtlior
mvestigaiion; but irom tho lieight of tho
windows on ono side, and tho dirtv onaoitv
Of tho glass on tho othor, I was obliged to
jj iur uiu iiucrnai survey until to-morrow.
n returning to (he parlour of 'mine inn,'
Lllvinrr ItlU men' in Minii. T I. 1 I
hm min i JU1U ' C
"I Have sworn upon (ho AHar
recently vacated, was a respectably dress
ed, unctuous little personage, whoso lati-
tudo and longitude presented tho same ro
tative proportions as those usually bestow
ed a collar of braWn tho resemblance there
unto beingj.atill further maintained in tho
mottled lustre of his visage. This Worthy
lay coiled up, like a hedgehog, in the ex
treme recesses of the capacious chair, and
proclaimed triumphantly through his nasal
trumpet the victory ho had acllicvcd over
the. cares of this world. .Being somewhat
tired myself. I left him to the society of
Morpheus and his empty rummer, and soon
tumbled into bed, to the mutual annoyance
of myself and a prolific colony of fleas,
whose claim to tho title of 'industrious'
was amply established on Various parts of
my body corporate during the night. Hav
ing taken summary vengeance on Koine
score or so of these c-botlomist's. I de
scended to breakfast to the tunc of the
matin chimes; and in due time repaired to
the church, where accommodation was nrof-
fcrcd me by a well-to-do looking family,
evidently of some note in the village; from
the spacious scat in baize and brass bed
right, and the stalwart build of their prayer-
books. Almost in a line with my locale,
on the opposite side of the aisle. Was a lame
aristocratic looking pew, unoccupied, save
by sundry scarlet cushions of estimable
plumpness, and corner pillows to match,
nglit portly in dimension. The service
had proceeded to tho end of the first lesson,
and I was speculating with myself to what
magnate of the land this luxurious chanel
ease might appertain, when a bustle in tho
iiislc immediately leading to it interrupted
my cogitations, and lo!
"Like some infernal demon sent
lied from his penal element.
To plaguo and to pollute tho air"
or, rather, like a twelve-inch globe, in
Mlamo coloured taffeta,' appeared the bur
nished Irontispicce of the very worthy whom
I left snoring on the precious evening in the
Pig and Blunderbuss. That ho was a
stranger,' was evident from the innuirim?
glances he shot off in quest of a seat; yet
nobody 'took linn in. Either the news in
the immediate vicinity were already occu
pied, or the proprietors of any chance va
cancics manifested no great alacrity in
seeking a nearer contact with this little is
nis fatuus. In this dilemma his eve at
leligth lighted on the gorgeus vacuum be
lore mentioned: and, cntcrinir with Dame
Nature, a charitable abhorrence for such a
slate, he made for the open door, and with
out moro ado trundled his poggy periphery
into the snuggest corner of the pew, and
appropriated a brace of the well-stuffed nil
lows for the especial solace of his dorsal
extremities. Here he nestled like a mouse
in a meal tub, and, if I mistake not. slcnt.
until aroused by tho pulmonary efforts of
tlio. choir and congregation in giving due
effect to the old hundredth Psalm. How
ever, at tho singing he slood up; and, mote-
over, paid decorous observanco to the es
lablished ritual during tho communion ser
Vice, and the succeeding psalm. But
scarcely had tho latter 'tumult dwindled lo
a calm,' ere his loins were again consigned
to me soothing embraces of cushion and
pillow his hands, linked together, reposed
m allectionate iniardianshw on i.:s r,m,,0
diaphragm; his lobster-like eye-balls 'paled
tlioir mcllectual fires' tho lids flickered
like an expiring rush-light and he gradu
ally merged into a state of total oblivion
with tho startling text, 'Awake, thou that
slcepcsl,' for his lullaby. In spite of the
zeal and olonuoncc of the preacher, which
were of no common order. I could not nro
vent my attention ever and anon sworvinir
irom tlio subject ol the discourse lo tho in
sensate lump of mortality in the opposite
......... "
paw; more especially as tho recollection nf
his last night's naaal powers bogat a nerv
ous approhcniion losta similar performance
should subject his present untimely eclipse
lo a public rebuko irom tho pulpit.
My anxiety, howovor, on this hoad was
speedily diverted to an objoct which threat-
i . .
ened an interruption of more formidable"
t - .
laractcr. In pmiRommn nf lhAavi.nQD . r,
cf Cod, eternal hostility To cvrfy Arm of
heat of thc-wcathcr, some of the doors of
the church were necessarily left open du
ring tlio service. Now, whether' it was
thai he only meditated a retreat from the
lorvour of the noon-day sun. or that lie was
compelled to seek the shelter qf the sacred
cdiiice irom the wanton annoyances nf'rm.
tain profane loiterers in tlio church yard, I
Know not; but certain it is that mv boardnl
enemy of the previous evening, the he goat
ueiorc noticed, made Ins appearance in the
porcli, immediately within mv ken: nnd
after executing a prefatory pas scul, not
strictly of the Tagliatii school, ho gradually
insinuated liimsclf through the aisle, until
ne came directly opposite to the onen now
occupied by the unconscious contemner of
llio next. Here he planted himself, and
deliberately surveyed our slenuigjiero with
a curious attention. NamraUsts. learned in
the domestic ccniinmv nf thro n:i
..j vi mvBu utmiiaia,
assert that they are, for the most part, of a
ncauiong disposition, and much given to
warAirc among themselves; and, moreover,
that their signal for battle is invariably con
veyed by three nods of the head. How Air
this is worthy of credit, I am unable to vcr
ify beyond the instance now nnrmtimr
Ilowbeit, Ihc immediate object of the goat's
contemplation had by this time taken a far
journey . into 'the Land of Nod.' and soon
acknowledged tho attention of the animal
bya bow of a lolloping profundity. Billy,
as if perceiving some indefinite "symptoms
of capricornity about him, answered it with
a short nod of defiance; a second declension
of the head met with a similar resnnnso;
and the third dip had scarcely reached zero
ere the challenge was accepted by tho front
who, lowering his horns, rushed full butt
tlirougli the doorway, ami pitched into his
supposed antagonist in a style which would
not nave disgraced the palmiest days of
orm or uamo Uhickcn. In a few moments
after 'the collision' the church was an uni
versal uproar. Tho seat-door was dosed
on the combatants; and our hero, thus un
ceremoniously recalled to his senses, nnd n
half consciousness of the scene of his de
linquency, verily believed himself delivered
over as a prey to the arch-fiend in nnrsnn.
In the extremity of his fear lie seized one
of the pillows, which he brandished as a
shield, and which at tho next onset became
fixed on the horns of the enemy. In this
stale, an energetic kick deposited the latter
in the opposite rornor of the pew, where
our little man pelted him With prayer books,
bibles, pillows, hymn books, linssnnks.
and every other extempore pieco of ammu
mlion within his reach. After which, in a
paroxysm of bewilderment, he scrambled
into and over some half score of seals and
pews with the ability of a chimpanzee, bnlt
cd like a blazing meteor tlirougli the near
est doorway, and finally cfleclcd n Indn-
ment in his bed-room at the Pig and Blun-
(icrouss, m a state little short of insanity.
On my rclurn to the inn some two linn
alter tins extraordinary exhibition, I de
manded of the waiter what had become of
tho gontleman who had played so conspic
uous a part in it, and learned that ho had
not yet left his apartment. Considering
.i . . . ,. . &
mo siaio oi oxcitejnent in which he must
1. l ...
"a,u uiuuiuu ii, ting seemed tome some
what odd; and I could not help onlerlainiinr
vagup conjectures that a sense of shamo,
consequent on his recent expose, had driven
him to commit some act of desperation on
his own person. Howovor as I had no
right-to meddle with tho affairs of a perfect
stranger, I suppressed my suspicions, and
paid my respects to a rump-steak and natr-
num of port, with tho orthodox zeal of a
truo JJluo briar. At lciurlh. as the ovonimr
closed in, and I, sat ruminating on tho past
occurrence of tho day, my former nnxietios
returned; and learnmsr from the waiter that
tho gentleman was still in his bed-room,
and had not yet ordered dinner, I vontured
to suggest (o that functionary llio propriety
of ascertaining tho roal stale of tho ease by
a personal application at tho door of tho said
dormitory. In this oxpedition I ofl'ered tn
bear him company, and be alonercsponsi-
,1,. . , . , 1
ble for thus violating .be privacy f the re-
Tyranny ocr the Mind of iah.
I clusc
inight have spared myself this
w.uiBuijcicrurraiion ior no soon-
, , , . .v oiuwuui, iiiu aparKiuiKCIiam
er had we reached the chamber and the paigrie, the foaming, beer, the exhilerating
car of my companion approached the kev- ! r.., , , nauii
- - . j
hole, than the listening contraction of his
face dilated to a most expansive self-lauda-
tory grin, as ho exclaimed) 'I'm blowed if
i didn t so he s. at it again, shoring away
like a bass-viol. I never see no sich a var
mint for sleeping as that 'ere chap in all
my born days. Blest if I don't think he'd
sleep in a belfry all through the king's
birth day! But here come's master he'll
tell ye all about the gentleman.'
From the landlord 1 gathered, that the
party in question had arrived by the Lon
don coach some days before; and after ta
king a hasty dinner, retired to bed, desi
ring to be called at.dght'clock the- next
morning: that, at the hour appointed, to
the repeated vociferations of the water, 'Tis
eight, zur,' accompanied by a furious can
nonading on the door-pannel, no sort of no
tice was vouch-safed by the inmate; that a
forcible entry was therefore deemed expe
dient, when, to the consternation of the as
sembled besiegers, our little hero was dis
covered Heated at the foot of the bed, bolt
upright, dead asleep, and in full snore, his
left arm embracing one of the pillars with
most amatory zeal. In this situation he
must evidently have remained throughout
tho night, his candle being quite burned
out, and the operation of undressino- Imv;
proceeded no further than the dofiinn- 0f
coat and waist-coat, one boot and stocking
the boot-jack being still attached to the
heel of the other boot. Tho single TTnl.
lands bottom' recorded against him in the
u. i i , , , . .
bar-book, quashed the rising suspicion of
intoxication as the cause of his -outra(s
nap; although this might reasonably have
-o "v
been entertained from the cool manner of
his informing the .waiter, who awoke him
alter no gentle fashion, that 'he thought he
would have his tea now, and so to bed. ns
he Jolt somewhat tired from big journey.
vJ '
,t , . , "j-u....
At length, however, conviction nf tlm wl
r . ' . -
state of aflairs stared him in the face, and
lie stammered out some incoherent anolo
gics for his apparent extraordinary conduct
that it had been an infirmity with him
since his birth and he was constantly be
ing betrayed by it into the most awkward
situations. This was all the landlord knew
of him; but connected as it was with his
luckless contretcmpts in tho church, it be
gat an interest about him, which determin
ed inc on taking the earliest opportunity
of making his acquaintance, and ascertain
ing a littlo moro of his history. On de
scending to my breakfast the next morning,
I di&covcrcd, to my mortification, that he
had contrived to get the start of me, and
was oil' again by the London coach a
ticket which had escaped from his carnct
bag being the only clue to the mysteries of
tne 'local habitation and tho name' of this
scion of the 'Seven Sound Sleepers:' and
M Juoli allordcd the satisfactory evidence of
uiesaid bag belonging to 'S. B. passenger.'
You are now in the sprinir season of life.
As you sow so will you reap. Tho world
surrounds you with its thousand temptations.
Snares are on every side, for vour swift
destruction. You laugh at the thought of
danger, l ou think it innocent to drink and
bo merry. So have hundreds beforo you.
who have gone early to a drunkard's irrave.
Neither health, nor character, nor friends,
wore of any avail lo save them. They vio
lated tho law of their nature, thev subiected
thomsclves to the law of stimulus, & made
their destruction sure. Wo would abridge
you in no innocont pleasures. We arc not
gloomy ascetics. Temperance and gloom
have no congeniality. The gloomy man is
tho man of vice : the young man with a
broken constitution ; a vitiated, crnawimr ap
petite ; a torturing conscience; who wears
perhaps a cheerful countenance in tho riot
ous circle, but who tossos to and fro upon
ins bed in severest agony
'I was called."
v.aim.iui, --uiu nanny raKO, yet
at the very moment I envied the peace and
I comfort of a dog!" Your greatest foes"are
t ia r,ma r nll.l,l nu .. ,
gin, the dark powerful brandy, will waste
your time, steal your property, ruiii your
health, cnfccble"your Understandings, des
troy your characters, fill the hearts of your
friends with shame and confusion, & bring
your never-dying souls to eternal ruin. O,
then, raise tho banner of abstinence forever;
Come and co-opcrele with patridts & states
men; with physicians arid divines, with the
respected of every name and class in deliver
ing your country from the most cruel bon
dage, and save yourselves from the snare of
the fowler. Do you say you will not unite
in the tee-total pledge, because you have
signdd the other? But what if the other fails
to save you? What if it fails in accomplishing
irs object in the world? "Will you be wise?
Will not thousands point at you the finger
of derision? 0, bo consistent. No intoxicating
drink is needful or useful, or even safe for
you. Abandon the whole, then, forever, and
by your independence and firmness raise a
barrier which shall forever prevent the flow
of the accursed stream of intemperance by
you to all future generations.
Columbus was the son of a weaver and a
weaver himself; Rabelais son of an apothe
cary ; Claude Lorranc was bred a pastry cookj
Moehersonof a tapestry maker; Corvaritcs
served as a common soldier; Homer waa a
beggar; Ilesiod was the son of a small farmer;
Demosthenes of a cutler; Terence was a
siavc; Ktchardson was
a nrintni-. ni."..-
Cromwell the snnr, 1,. ,t.
. """""""i nowarn an
apprentice to a grocer; Benjamin Franklin a
printer; Doct. Thomas Bishnn V,f Wn.n.
son of a lihendraper: Daniel Defoe was a
-.w.U41,l,1, uaiuvi ieioe was a
hosier, and the son of a butcher; Whitcficld
son of an inn-kcepcrat Gloucester; Cloudeslv
anovei, rear admiral of England, was an ar).
prentice to a shoemaker, and nlW,.,.,,.,?., -
cabin boy; Bishop Prideaux worked in thd
""""i' hjucuux worKed in thd
kitchen ntlvofm' pil. n ,
w ""u, arumai wolsey
son of a butcher; Ferguson a shepherd-
iiuunr was a peasant; Thomas Paino sort
of a staymakcrat Thetford; Dean Tucker
was the son ofa farmer in Cardiganshire and
performed his journeys to Oxford on foot;
Edmund llalley the son ofa soap boiler at
Shoreditch; Joseph Hall bishop of Norwich,
son ofa farmerat Ashby in Zouoh; Hogartli
was put apprentice to an cnpravernfnAwfnr
pots; Doctor Mountain, bishop of Durham,
was the son ofa beggar; Lucianofa statuary;
Virgil ofa potter; Horace ofa shop-keeper
Plantusabakcr; Shakspeareofa wnnisr.-mlnr.
Milton ofa money scrivener; Cowley, son
ui unauw; oamucusutlcr of a farmer; Ben
Johnson worked sometime as a bricklayer;
Robert Bums was aploughman in Ayrshire
Thomas Chattcrton, ofa Sexton of Radclifl'
Church, Bristol; Thomas Grayof a scriven
er; Matthew Prior, the son of a joiner in
London; Kirk White Theson of a butcher at
Nottingham; Bloomfield and Giflbrd were
shoemakers; Person son ofa parish clerk.
Jialhcr severe. An eastern editor in al
luding to a rival town says "thai it (akes
several of their pigs to pull up a blade of
grass; that they are so poor, tho foremost
seizes the spear in his mouth, tho hnlnnen
having taken each other by the tail, when
they all give a pull, a stronff null. nn,l
pull altogether; and if it breaks; the whole
tumble to tho ground, for want of strength
to support themselves!" It must takc thrce
or four such pigs to make a shadow.
Somo amusing scenes havo occurred du
ring the lato pressure at New York. One
has been related to us. An nflir- nf
bank called at tho store ofa merchant, and'
politely miormed him that he had nver,lm..
his account fivd thousand dollars, "Well,
I know that," Was tho ronlv: "and wlmt'n
the necessity of borinir me about it! WW
not drop tho subjoct, altogether, and servo
mo as I do you? I don't co to vnn when
I havo that amount in your institution, and
say 'Mr. President, I have got 85,000 in
your bank.' Such statements arc useless,
any way. Good morning!"

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