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THE COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT.
I have sworn tilm the Altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over the Mind of Man."
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY JOHN S. INGRAM.
from the Philadelphia SuiurdatJ Chronicle.
' ELEGY ON A MISER.
lir hack vo STnxTCiir.n.
Old Skinflint's dead! Holler don't laugh,
But gravely scan hU epitaph!
1 Id's left the, tilings of time and sen? o
His bonds, and mortgagcn, ond mils:
And (without discount too) haspnid
The debt of nature, long delay 'd.
Doubt as you will, I'm Iold to say
JIo always' ivalk'd in Wisdom's way,
(When chancing in that path nside,) : ,
Because he was too mean to ride.
His charity was used to roam,
Fur from his heart and private home; , ,
Ho liked the. President and Pope,
But seldom 'washed his hands with 'soap.
His constant faith is clearly shewn
By tills lie let good works alone.
Daily he rose, resolving frcth,
To wound and mortify the flesh;
And oft for breakfast would he take,
Arnbuldy crust.or heavy cake.
He chew'd not, '(but when quids were lent,)
,And smok'd .scgars four, for a cent;
And as for drinking, never lip
Bought liquor for las' thirsty lip!
Whether ho broke, from day to day,
Tho ten commands, I cannot say;
But as he kept all else, 'Us truo
-That he most likely kept them too.
If it should o'er lc Johnny's fate
To pass through heaven's golden gate
Saint Peter! eye him with great care,
Or John will fill his pockets there;
But if condemn'd to worlds of woo
tTis his less lucky lot-to go,
'Tig probable, with kindred souN,
JIp'll turn to speculate in coals!
"Lively and gosipping;
.Stored with the treasures of the tattling world,
And with a t.pice of mirth too."
THE VILLAGE PRIZE.
In one of, the lovelicst-villagcs of old Vir
ginia there lived in the year 1775, an odd
and old man, whose daughter was declared,
by universal consent, to be tho loveliest
maiden in all the country round. The
veteran, in his youth, had been athletic and
muscular above all his fellows: and his breast,
where ho always wore them, could show
the adornment of three medals, received for
his victories in gymnastic feats when ayoung
man. His daughter was noweightecn, and
had been sought in marriage by many sui
tors. Ono brought wealth another a fine
person another this, and another that. But
they wero all refused by the old man, who
became at last a by-word for his obstinacy
among tho young men of tho village and
At length, the nineteenth birth-day of An
nette, his charming daughter, who was as
amiable and modest as sho was beautiful, ar
rived. The morning of that day, her father
invited all tho youth of tho country to a hay
making frolic. Seventeen handsome and
industrious young men assembled. They
came not only to make hay, but also to make
love to tho fair Annette. In three hours
thoy had filled the father's barns with the
newly dried grass, &, their own hearts with
love. Annette, by her father's command,
had brought the malt liquor of her own
brewing, which she presented to each
enamored swain with her own fair hands.
"Now my boys," said the old keeper of
the jewel they all coveted, as leaning on
their pitchforks they assembled round his
door in the cool of tho evening. "Now my
boys, you have nearly all of you made pro
posals for my Annette. Now you sec I do
not care any thing about money or talents,
book laming nor soldier laming; can do as
well by my gal as any man in tho country.
But I want her to marry a man of my own
grit. Now you know, or ought to know,
when I was a youngster, I could beat any
thing in all Virginity in tho way o' leaping.
I got my old woman by beating the smartest
man on tho Eastern Shore; and I havo took
the oath, and sworn to it, that no man shall
marry my daughter without jumping for it.
You understand mo, boys.. There's tho
green and here's Annette," ho added, tak
ing his daughter, who stood timidly behind
him, by tho hand. "Now, tho ono that
jumps the furthest on a 'dead level,' shall
marry Annetto this very night."
This unique address was received by tho
young men with applause. And many n
BLOOMSBTJRG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA, SATURDAY, MAY 27, 1837.
youth, as he bounded gaily forward lo the
arena of trial, cast a glance of anticipated
victory back upon tho lovely object of vil
lage chivalry. The maidens left their looms
and quilting frames the children their noi
sy sports tho slaves their labors, and the
old men their armchairs and long pipes, to
witness and triumph in tiic success of the
victor. All prophesied and many wished,
that it would bd young Carroll He was
the handsomest and besthumored youth in
the country, and all knew that a strong and
mutual attachment existed between him and
the fair Annette. Carroll had won the re
putation of being the 'best lcaper;' and in a
country, where 6iich athletic achievements
were the 'sine qua non' of a man's clever
ness, this was no ordinary honor. In a con
test like the present, he had therefore every
advantage over his fellow athlcta?.
The area allotted for this hymcnial con
test, was a level space in front of the village
inn, and near the centre of a grass plat, re
served in tho midst of the village, denomin
ated the 'green.' The verdure was quite
worn off at this place by previous exercises
of a similar kind, and a hard surface of sand
more befittingly for the purpose to which it
was to bo used, supplied its place.
The father of tho lovely, blushing, and
withal happy prize, (for she well knew who
would win) with three other patriarchal vil
lagers, were the judges appointed to decide
upon the claims of the several competitors.
The last time Carroll tried his skill in tins
exercise, lie 'cleared' (to use the lcapcr's
phraseology) twenty-one fcoland one inch.
The signal was given, and by lot the
young men stepped into the arena.
"Edward Grayson, seventeen feet,"
cried one of the judges. The youth hud
done his utmost. He was a pale, intellec
tual student. But what had intellect to do
in such an arena? Without a look at the
maiden ho left the ground.
"Dick Bonlden, nineteen feet." Dick
with a laugh, turned away, and replaced his
"Harry Preston, nineteen feet and three
inches." 'Well done Harry Preston,'
shouted the spcctatqrs, 'you have tried
hard for tho acres and home-stead.'
ilarralso laughed, and swore he only
jumped for the 'fun of the thing. Henry
was a rattle-brained fellow but never thought
of matrimony. He loved to walk and talk,
and laugh and romp with Annette, but sober
marriage never came into his head. He
only jumped for the 'fun of the thing.' II
would not have said so if ho was sure of
"Charley Simms, fifteen feet and a half.
Hurrah for Charley! Charley'll win
cried the crowd, good-humoredly. Charley
Simms was tho cleverest fellow in the
world. His mother had advised him to stay
at home, and told him if he ever won
wife, sho would fall m love with his good
temper, rather than his logs. Charloy
nowever matic me trial oi the latter s ca
pabilities and lost. Others made tho trial,
and only one of tho leapers had yet cleared
"Now, ' cried the villagers, 'let's sec
Harry Carroll. He ought to beat this;"
and every one appeared, as thoy called to
mind tho mutual lovo of the last competitor
and tho sweet Annette, as if thoy heartily
wished his success.
Henry stepped to his post witli a firm
tread. His eyo glanced with confidence
around upon tho villagers, and rested, before
ho bounded forward, upon tho face of An
nette, as if to catch therefrom that spirit of
assurance which tho occasion called for.
Roturning the encouraging glance witli
which she met his own, with a proud smile
upon his lip, ho bounded forward.
'Twcnty-ono feet and a half!' shouted
the multitude, repeating tho announcement
of ono of tho judges, 'twenty-one feet and a
half. Harry Carroll forever. Anncttoand
Harry.' Hands, caps, and handkerchiefs
waved over tho heads of the spectators, and
tho eyes of tho delighted Annette sparkled
When Harry Carroll moved to his sta
tion to strive for the priec, a tall, gentle
manly young man, in a military undress
frock coat, who had rode up to the inn,
dismounted, and joined tbcspectators, un
pcrccivcd, while tho contest was going on;
stepped suddenly forward, and with a know
ing eye, measured deliberately the space
accomplished by the. last loaper! Ho was
a stranger in tho village. His handsome
face and easy address, attracted the eyes of
the. village maidens, and his manly and sin
ewy frame, in which symmetry and strength
Were happily united, called forth the admi
ration of the young men.
'Mayhap, sir, stranger, you think you can
beat that said one of the bystanders, re
marking the, manner iu wliich tho eye of
the stranger scanned tho arena. 'If you
can leap beyond Harry Carroll, you'll beat
the best man in the colonics." The trutl
of the observation was assejitqd to by a gc
neral murmur. , ,
"Is it for mero amusement you are pursu
ing this pass-time," inquired the youthful
stranger, "or is there a prize for the win
"Annette, the loveliest and wealthiest of
our village maidens, is to be the reward of
the victor," cried one of the judges.
"Are the lists open to all ?" "
"All! young sir," replied the father of
Annette, with interest, his youthful ardour
rising-, as he surveyed tho proportions of the
straight-limbed young stranger. "Sho
the bride, of him who out-leaps Harry Car
roll. If you will try you are free to do so
uui iui mo icu you, iiarry uarrou lias no
rival in all Virginia. Hero is my daughter,
sir, look at her, and make your trial."
The young officer glanced at the tremb
ling maiden, about.to be offered an, theultar
of her father's unconquerable monomania,
with an admiring eye. The poor girl loot
cd at Iiarry, who stood near, with a troub
led brow and angry eye, and then cast upon
tho new competitor an imploring glance.
Placing his coat in the hands of one of
the judges, he drew a sash he wore bcncatl
it tighter around his waist, and taking the
appointed stand, made, apparently without
effort, the bound that was to decide the hap
piness or misery of Henry and Annette.
"Twenty-two feet and one inch," shout
ed the judge. The announcement was re
pealed with surprise by the spectators, who
crowded around the victor, filling tho air
with congratulations, not unrr.ingled, how-
ever, with loud murmurs from those who
were more nearly interested in the happi
ness of the lovers.
The old man approached, and grasping
his hand cxultmgly, called him his son, and
said he felt prouder of him than if he wero
a prince. Physical activity and strength
were the old lcapor's true patents of nobil
Resuming his coat, tho victor sought
with his eye the fair prize he had, altho
nameless and unknown, so fairly won.
She leaned upon her fathers arm, pale and
Her lover stood aloof, gloomy and mor
tified, admiring the superiority of the stran
ger in an exercise in which ho prided liinv
self as unrivalled, whilo he hated him for
Annette, my pretty prize,' said tho vie
a . a . I 1 -r
ior, tailing ner passive nanu, u nave won
you fairly.' Annette's check became paler
than marble: she trembled liko an aspen
leaf, and clung closer to her father, while
tho drooping eye sought the form of her lov
er, ilis brow grew dark at tho stranger s
'I have won you, my pretty flower, to
make you a bride! tremble not so violent
ly I mean not myself, however proud I
might bo,' lie added with gallantry, 'to wear
so fair a gem noxt my heart. Perhaps,'
and ho cast his eyes round him enquiringly,
while tho current of life leaped joyfully to
her brow, and a murmur of surprise ran
through tho crowd, 'perhaps there is somo
favored youth among theso competitors,
who has a higher claim to this jewel.
Young Sir,' ho continued, turning to the
surprised Henry 'mcthinks you were victor
in tho lists before me I strove not for the
maiden, though one could not well strive
for a fairer but from love for tho manly
sport in wliich I saw you engaged. You
arc the victor, and as such, with the per
mission of this worthy assembly, receive
from my hand the prize you have so well
and honorably won.'
The youth sprung forward and grasped
his hand with gratitude; and the next mo
ment, Annette was weeping from pure joy
upon ins shoulders. The welkin rung
with the acclamations of the delighted vil
lagers, and amid the temporary excitement
produced by the act, tho stranger withdrew
from tho crowd, mounted his horse, and
spurred at a brisk trot through the village.
That night Henry and Annette were
married, and the health Of the mysterious
and noble hearted stranger, was drunk in
overflowing bumpers of rustic beverage,
In process of time, there were bom unto
the married pair, sons and daughters; and
Iiarry Carroll had become Colonel Henry
Carroll, of the Revolutionary army.
One evening, having just returned home
after a hard campaign, he was sitting with
his family on the gallery of his handsome
country house, when an advance courier
rode up and announced the approach of
General Washington and suite, informing
him he should crave his hospitality for the
night. The necessary directions were giv
en in reference to the household prepara
tions, and Colonel Carroll, ordering his
horse, rode forward to meet and escort to
his house, the distinguished guest, whom
he had never yet seen, although serving ill
the same widely extended army.
That evening, at the table, Annette (now
become the dignified, matronly and still
handsome, Mrs. Carroll) could not keep
her eyes from the face of her illustrious
visitor. Every moment or two she would
steal a glance at his commanding features,
and a half doubtingly, half assuredly, shake
her head and look again, to be still more
puzzled. Her absence of mind and em
barrassmcnt at Icugth became evident to
her husband, who inquired affectionately if
she were ill?
'I suspect, Colonel,' said the General,
who had some time, with a quiet, meaning
smile, been observing the lady's curious
and puzzled survey of his features, "that
Mrs. Carroll thinks sho recognizes in me
an old acquaintance.' And he smiled with
a mysterious air, as he gazed upon both al
ternately. The Colonel started, and a faint memory
of the past seemed to be revived, as he ga
zed, while the lady rose impulsively from
her chair, and bending eagerly forward over
tho tea-urn, with clasped hands, and an eye
of intense, eager inquiry fixed full upon him,
stood for a moment with her lips parted, as
if she would speak.
Pardon me, my dear madam pardon
me, Uoloncl l must put an cntl to this
scene. 1 nave become, by unit of camp-
faro and hard usage, too unwieldy to leap
again twenty-two feet and one inch, even
for so fair a bride as one I wot of.'
Tho recognition, with the surprise, de
light, and happiness that followed, are left
to the imagination of the reader.
General Washington was, indeed, tho
handsome young 'leaper' whose mysteri
ous appearance and disappearance in the
native village of the lovers, is still tradition
ary; and whoso claim to a substantial body
of 'bona fide' flesh and blood: was stout-
y contested by tho village story tellers, un
til tho happy denouncesient wliich took
place at the hospitable mansion of Col. Car
roll. TFoman. Huntingdon, preaching on
the resurrection, remarked, that "Jesus ap
peared to women rather than to men in order
that the circumstance might more quickly
spread." This reminds us of tho convey
ancer, who commencodadeed with, "Know
one woman by theso presents."
An old woman met a man with a cradle.
Ah, Sir," said she, "behold tho fruits of
matrimony." "Softly,"was the
this is only tho fruit basket,'
A poor man once excused his non-atten
dance at church to a rich neighbor by say
ing ne tiad no breeches fit for tho occasion
winch the latter offered to lend. The man
availed himself of the ofier, and when the
priest was about to commence prayer, ho
cast a glance to his friend when he called
out in an under tone, but loud enough to
be heard by those around, "Don't kneel
down iu my breeches.1 The man carried
homo the borrowed garment and was a long
time absent Irom church as usual, when arii
other neighbour inquired the reason which
the poor man gave as before, adding that he
had once borrowed a pair, which had given
the owner occasion to insult his poverty be
fore the whole audience. 'Come With me,
said his new friend, 'and I will supply you.
Accordingly he essayed once more to visit
the church in borrowed breeches, and when
notice was given for prayer he directed his
attention to his accommodating friend, who
no sooner saw him, than he called out loud
enough to attract tho observation of all pre
sent, 'tKncel down, kneel down any where
in my breeches."
Jin Irish Temptation to Capitalists.
An estate was recently advertised in a Cork
paper, with temptations to purchasers of nd
ordinary kind. It consists of two villages
the future prospects of which are set fortli
by stating, that one of them is let for nine
hundred years, and the other on a leaseor5
ever; on the expiration of which terms
both the said villages will be capable of great
Jl Busy Body. A down cast editor says'
"I have to edit my paper, keep my bookd
for the paper and other business, do all my
out-door business, put up all orders for
goods, do all my correspondence, generally
direct my papers, wait upon customers;
have the care of my printing office, saw
and split my wood, make my fires, feed
my hens, instruct my children, tend my
babies, besides other plans and other busi
ness. With all this, and rigid economy, I
hope to gain something when J get a good
At Greenwich fair on Monday, one of
tho showmen outside a Caravan called pub
lic attention to a most singular exhibition,
being nothing less than "a man running
about upon five feet." Large crowds en
tered the show to see this prodigy, when
the showman introduced himself as tho
curiosity. Upon his being remonstrated
with by his dupes, he replied, "It's no de
ception, I said you'd sec a man running
about npon five feet, and don't J run about
upon five feet and afeio oddinches?"
'My dear brethren, said a pastor lately
from his pulpit, 'never put yourselves iii tho
liability of loosing your reason. Reasofi is
a bridle which has been given to us to di
rect our passions.' On the same day tho
pastor got drunk. One of his parishioners
asked what ho had dono with his bridle?
"Good faith," says he, "I have taken it off
We learn from Mr. Lockhart's memoirs
of his father-in-law, Sir Walter Scott, that
the first fee of any consequence which ho
obtained at the bar, ho expended on a silver
taper stand for his mother, which the old
lady used to point to with great satisfaction
as it stood on her chimney-piece twenty-five
A case reported to a Temperance Society
by a wag, was that of a sailor, wild Was
continually loosing his wooden legs by thd
"wet rot" so long as ho indulged in spiritu
ous liquors; he abandoned the use of tho
alcohol, and his timbers lasted three times
Jl Damsel of Jlge. In France it is ne
cessary to obtain tho consent of both parents,
if living, before any marriagdcait be legally
contracted. At the civil tribunal of tho Seine,
a widow of fifty-two was opposed by her
father and mother; the court; however de
creed that sho had arrived at years of discretion.