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EXCLAH&TIOH. At elrarch I sat within her pew, OPew! But there I heard No pious word— 1 saw alone her eye of blue I 1 saw her bow her head so gracious, O Gracious! The choir sang, The organ rang— And seemed to fill the building spacious. I ceuld not hear the gospel law, -, OXaw! My future bride Was by my side— I found all else a mighty bore! And when pealed forth the organ thunder, O Thunder 1 I fixed my eyes In mute surprise On her, whose beauty was a wonder. To me, that maiden was most dear, ODear! And she was mine, Joy too divine For human words to picture here. Her love seemed like a prayer to bless me— O bless me I Before she came My lite was tame, My rarest joys could but oppress me. The service done, we sought the shore,— O Shore! And there we walked And sadly talked— More sadly talked than e'er before. I thought she was the type of goodness, O Goodness! But on that day I heard her say Plain words, whose very tone was rudeness We strayed beyond the tide-mill's dam— ODam! She jilted me, And now I see That woman's love is all a sham. He Had Influence. From the Eureka (Mo.) Sentinel, A candidate for a county office was lounging around Main street, smoking his cigar and canvassing in his mind the chances for and against his election, when he was approached by a seedy-looking stranger, who brought him to a halt and asked "Be you Mr. "That's my name," replied the can didate. "I s'pose you've nev heern tell of me, hev' yer asked the stranger. ••Can't say that I ever enjoyed the pleasare of your acquaintance that is, not to my knowledge, though I may have met you during my European trip. I met a number of distinguish ed individuals then perhaps you are one of them." "No, sir,you did not meet in Yewrop though I might a' bin there if I'd a wanted ter. I've seen better days, and was wealthy in my time. I'm a forty-niner, and hev lied more money than you could shake a stick at." "Oh, button up your lip," said the candidate, who was getting out of pa tience, "I'm cold and want to go in the house." "But one word, and my business with you is ended—not my business, but yours—it's for your own benefit that make the proposition." "Well, what's your proposition "Now, look a here, afore we begin, I want you to know as I'm a rustler from taw. I've got more politicle in floo'nce than you've get any idee on. 1 ain't no striker I'd cut my head off afore I'd strike a candidate for a piece but I must have money to spend with the boys, to keep thera in the traces, as it were. Your name brings up reck leckshuns of my childhood's days my folks to home had a hired girl of yer name, and for the sake of early reck leckshuns I want to stand in for yer. I want to see yer 'lected, and on 'lec tion day you will find my brain plan nin' and my good right hand executin' to win for yer a glorious triumph at the polls. Just hand me out a hun dred dollars and I'll send in votes so thick and last it'll make the inimy crawl inter a knot-hole." "Oh, blazes," said the candidate "I haven't got any hundred dollars to give up I'm struck for coin on every corner. You fellows must think I'm Flood & O'Brien." "Well, I don't know but I might git along with fifty," returned the man of influence. "Come to think on it, I guess I could manage to squeeze through with it but the boys is pow erfully absorbent." "Oh, let me alone," said the now thoroughly irritatadcandidate. "I've got other uses for fifty dollars than giving it to an old stiff like you." "Me an old stiff!" exclaimed the rustler. "I knowed you didn't know me I'd scorn to be an old stiff, and if it's any objek to you to have a man of infloo'nce working for you among the boys, for the insignificant sum of twenty-five dollars, say so now, or see me arrayed on the side of the inimy next Tuesday." "Oh, go off and die," said the candi date as he walked away and started to enter the door of a saloon. "Jest one minnit," said the stiff, as he laid his hand on the candidate's arm yer don't know how yer's throwin' off on yerself I'm as dry as a fish, and if a man of infloo'nce ain't wuth two bits' wuth of whisky, I'd like ter know what there is in this county that's wuth anything." He got the two bits. Tojetti's pathetic picture of Elains is on exhibition in a Boston art gal lery, and a visitor was discovered be fore it the other day using her hand kerchief frequently, and appareutly deeplyjaffected. A sympathoetic woman on the same bench at last remarked thst the subject was as painful as it was beautiful. "La! faint that," ,, replied the weeper "I'm just comin' down with the influenzy JAC E A S How many have laughed over the incident related by Capt. Marayatt in his story of Midshipman Easy. In presenting his hero to the public the author tells us how the nurse was in stalled in eccentric Nicodomus Easy's home as follows: Mrs. Easy did not find herself equal to nursing her own infant, and it was necessary to look out for a substitute. Now a common person would have been satisfied with a recommendation of the medical man, who looks but to the one thing needful, which is a suffcient and wholesome supply of nourishment for the child but Mr. Easy wa 3 a philosopher, and had lat terly taken to craniology, and he de santed very learnedly with the doc tor upon the effect of his only son ob taining his nutriment from an un known source. "Who knows." ob served Mr. Easy, but that my son may not imbibe with his milk the very worst passions of the human nature "I have examined her," replied the doctor, "and can safely recommend her." "That examination is only preinii nary to one more important," replied Mr. Easy. "I will examine her." "Examine who. Mr. Easy?" ex claimed his wife, who had laid down again on the bed. "The nurse, my dear." "Examinewhat, Mr. Easy?" con tinued the lady. "Her head, my dear," replied the husband. "I must ascertain what her propensities are." "I think you had better let her alone, Mr. Easy. She comes this evening,and I shall question her pretty severely. Doctor Middleton, what do you know of this young person?" "I know madam, that she is very healthy and strong,or I should not have selected her." "But is her character good "Really, madam. I know little about her character but you can make any inquiries you please. But at the same time I ought to observe that if you are too particular on that point, you will have some difficulty in providing your self. "Well, we shall see," replied Mrs. Easy. "And I shall feel," rejoined the hus band. This parlying was interrupted by the arrival of the very persou in question, who was announced by the housemaid, and was ushered in. She was a hand some, florid, healthy looking girl, awk ward and naive in her manner, and ap parently not over-wise there was more of the dove than the serpent in her composition. Sir. Easy who was very anxious to make his own discoveries, was the first who spoke. "Young woman come this way. I wish to examine your head." Oh, dear, It's quite clean 1 assure you," cried the girl, dropping a cour tesy. Doctor Middleton, who sat between the bed and Mr. Easy's chair, rubbed his hands and laughed. In the mean time, Mr. Easy had untied the string and taken off the cap of the young woman, and was very busy putting his fingers through her hair, during which the face of the young woman express ed fear and astonishment. I am glad to perceive that you have a large portion of benevolence." "Yes," replied the young woman dropping another courtesy. "And veneration also." "Thanky, sir." "And the organ of modesty is strong ly developed." "Yes, sir," replied the girl with a smile. "That's quite anew organ," thought Dr. Middleton. "Philo-progenitiveness very power ful." "If you please, sir, I don't know what that is," answered Sarah, with a courtesy. "Nevertheless, yow have given us a practical illustration. Mr. Easy, I am satisfied. Have you any questions to ask But it is quite unnecessary." "To be sure I have, Mr. Easy Pray, young woman, what is your name "Sarah, is vou please, ma'am," "How long have you been mairied "Married ma'am 1" "Yes, married." "If you please, ma'am, I had a mis fortune, ma'am," replied the young girl, casting down her eyes. "What, have you not been mar ried "No, ma'am, not yet.'" "Good heavens! Dr. Middleton, what can you mean by bringing this person here exclaimed Mrs. Easy. "Not a married woman, and she has a child!" "If you please, ma'am," interrupt ed the young woman, dropping a cour tesy, ,'it was a very little one." "A very little one," exclaimed Mrs. Easy. "Yes, ma'am, very small, indeed, and died soon after it was born." "Oh, Dr, Middleton! What could you mean "My dear madam," exclaimed the doctor, rising from his chair, "this is the only person I could find suited to to the wants of your child, and if you do not take her, I cannot answer for its life. It is true, that a married woman might be procured but mar ried women who have a proper feeling wil not desert their own children and as Mr. Easy asserts, and you ap pear to imagine, the temper and dis position of your child may be affected by the nourishment it receives, I think it more likely to be injured by the milk of a married woman who will desert her own child for the sake of gain. The misfortune which has hap pened to this young woman is not always a proof of a bad heart, but of strong attachment, and the overween ing confidence of simplicity." "You are correct, doctor," replied Mr. Easy, "and her head proves that she is a modest young woman, with strong religious feeling, kindness of disposition and every other requisite." "The head may prove it all, for what I know, Mr. Easy, but her conduct tells another tale." "She is well fitted for the situation, ma'am," continued the doctor. "And if you please, ma'am." rejoin ed Sarah, "it is such a little one." "Shall I try the baby, ma'am," said the monthly nurse, who had listened in silence. "It is fretting so, poor thing, and has its dear little fist right down its throat." Dr. Middleton gave the signal of as sent, and in a few seconds Master John Easy was fixed to Sarah as tight as a leech. "Lord love it, how hungry it is! There, there, stop it a moment, it's shocking, poor thing." Mrs. Easy, who was lying on the bed, rose up, and went to the child. Her first feeling was tfcat of envy, that an other should have such a pleasure which was denied to herself, the next that of delight at the satisfaction ex pressed by the infant. In a few min utes the child fell back in a deep sleep Mrs. Easy was satisfied maternal feel, ings conquered all others, and Sarah was duly installed. It was not long after Mrs. Easy's con finement that Mr. Easy, who was sit ting by hei bedside in an easy chair, commenced as follows: "I have been thinking, my dear Mrs. Easy, about the name I shall give this child." "Name, Mr. Easy! why, what name should you give it but your own?" "Not so, my dear," replied Mr. Easy, "they call all names proper names, but I think that mine is not. It is the very worst name in the calendar." "Why, what's the mather with it, Mr. Easy?" "The matter affects me as well as the boy. Nicodemus is a long name to write at full length, and Nick is vul gar. Besides, as there will be two Nicks, they will very naturally call my boy young Nick, which will be diabol ical." "Well, Mr. Easy, at all events then let me choose the name." "That you shall, my dear, and it was with this view that I mentioned the subject so early." "I think, Mr. Easy, I will call the boy after my poor father—his name shall be Robert." "Very well, my dear, if you wish it, it shall be Robert. You shall have your own way. But I think, my dear, upon a little consideration, you will ac knowledge that there is a decided ob jection." "An objection, Mr. Easy "Yes, my dear Robert may be very well, but yon must reflect upon the consequences he is certain to be called Bob." "Well, my dear, and suppose they do call him Bob?" "I cannot bear even the supposition, my dear. You forget the county in which you are residing, the downs covered with sheep." "Why, Mr. Easy, what can sheep have to do with a Christian name "There it is women never look to consequences. My dear, they have a good deal to do with the name of Bob. I will appeal to any farmer in the country, if ninety-nine shepherds' dogs outJof one hundred are not called Bob. Now observe, your child is out of doors somewhere in the fields or plantations. You want, and you call him. Instead of your child, what do you find Why, a dozen curs, at least who come running up to you, all an swering to the name of Bob, and wag ging their stumps of tails. You level your only son to the brute creation by giving him a Christian name which, from its peculiar bievity, has been monopolized by all the dogs in the county. Any other name you please, my dear, but in this one instance you must allow me to lay my positive veto." "Well, then, let me see—but I'll think of it, Mr. Easy my head aches very much just now." "I will think for you, my dear. What do you yqu say to John "Oh, no, Mr. Easy, such a common name?" "A proof of its popularity, my dear. It is scriptural—we have the apostle and the baptist—we have a dozen popes who were all Johns. It is royal—we have plenty of kings who were Johns —and, moreover, it is short, and sounds honest and manly." "Yes. very true, ray dear but they will call him Jack." "Well ,we have had several celebrat ed characters who were Jacks. There was—let me see—Jack the Giant Kill er, and Jack of the Bean Stalk—and Jack—Jaek"— "Jack Spratt," replied Mrs. Easy. "And Jack Cade, Mrs. Easy, the great rebel—and Three Fingered Jack, Mrs. Easy, the celebrated negro—and, above all, Jack Fallstaff, ma'am, honest Jack Fallstaff—honest Jack Fallstaff—witty Jack Fallstaff"— "I thought, Mr. Easy, that I was to be permitted to choose the name." "Well, so you shall be, my dear I give it up to you. Do just as you please but depend upon it that John is the right name. Is it not, my dear "It's the way you always treat me, Mr. Easy you say that you give it up, and I shall have my own way, but I never do have it. I am sure that the child will be christened John." "Nay, my dear, it shall be just what you please. Now I recollect it. there were several Greek emperors who were Johns but decide for yourself, my dear." "No, no," replied Mrs. Easy, who was ill, and unable to contend any longer. "I give it up, Mr. Easy. I know how it will be, as it always is: you give me my own way as people give pieces of gold to their children, it's their own mo ley but they must not spend it. Pray call him John." "There, my dear, did I not tell you you would be of the same opinion upon reflection I knew you would. I have given you your own way, and you tell me to call him John so now we are both of the same mind, and that point is settled." "I should like to go to sleep, Mr. Easy I feel far from well." "You shall always dojust as you like, my dear," replied the husband "and have your own way in everything. It is the greatest pleasure I have when I yield to your wishes. I will walk in the garden. Good bye my dear." Mrs. Easy made no reply and the philosopher quitted the room. As may be imagined, on the following day the boy was christened John. A Blockade-Banner's Story. The Boston Post relates the follow ing: "A small party of gentlemen were at the table recently with the jo vial captain of one of the steamers running between this port and Liver pool, when the Englishman alluding to the late civil war in this country, said he had paid the States a number of vis its when it had cost him some risk to do so. He explained by saying that he had been a blockade runner, and he became quite merry while showing how he had dodged the federal cruis ers off Wilmington, N. and slipped in and out to and from that harbor five times during the last months of the war. While on his sixth trip he was chased ashore, hi*} vessel destroyed and be escaped to terra firma by the aid of a ladder over the steamer's bow. 'Oh, it was fun!' exclaimed the captain 'sometimes they plunked it into me pretty hot, but they never did any hurt to me in that way. Three rows of cotton bales make a pretty safe ar mor you know.' He then mentioned incidentally that a certain sentinel cut ter used to cause him the most trouble, and that he finally determined to run her down to prevent a warning signal to the blockading fleet. 'It was a bloody dark night,' continued the cap tain, 'and I was slipping out close in shore, when that cutter showed itself in front of me.' After a pause he added, 'Well, we. went right over her she didn't signal any body that night.' 'Was your steamer Kate, cap tain?' asked a very quiet gentleman at the foot of the table. 'Yes,' was the somewhat surprised reply. 'Well, I was in command of that cutter, and you didn't run me down quite as much as you think you did.' A laugh at the captain's expense followed this. 'The Kate wasn't hurt much either.' 'And I was on the gun-boat that chased you we got her off, and she is now some where about New York.' No one was more amused with the turn things had taken than the captain himself, and a philosophical remark that somebody made about what the whirligig of time may bring about, was lost in the gener al merriment." The Vinous Preferences of Great lien. a Variety From the Pall Mall Gazette. Frederick the Great, like a'good many other persons, had a particular affec tion for Tokay. Napoleon preferred Chambertin, but liked black coffee better. Peter the Great thought Mnderiathe best of wines, but regarded brandy as superior to all other drinks. Marshal Richelieu held Medocin the highest honor, and Rubens had the strange taste to esteem Marsala the finest of wines. John Bart, whom the French persist in imagining to have been a great ad miral, drank confusion to the English in bumpers of Beaune. Rabelais thought that "the divine bottle" never looked more natural than when filled with Chablis. Marshal Saxe had a decided predi lection for champagne, while the se verity of Cromwell's countenance is said to have occasionally relaxed at the sight of a pipe of Malmsey. The Emperor Charles V. would plan his campaigns and devise more strin gent laws for the repression of heresy over a flagon of good Alicante wine. His rival, Francis I., consoled him self for the loss of everything but honor with a cup of Xeres, or, as we should say. a glass of sherry. Henry IV., whether as a Catholic or Protestant, was faithful to the vint age of Suvesnes. In more recent times the genius of a Goethe was often fired with a bottle of Johannisberg. Humboldt studied and wrote un pleasant things about his friends under tne gentle influence of Sauterne. Talleyrand often vowed an hour of good nature to Chateau-Margaux. Frail Beauties. A Wisconsin lady writes to the Wo man's Journal as follows: The fact is that the young American girls are almost all delicate many are confirmed invalids many are dying in their first bloom every year. For myself, I have known within the last five or six year3 in a little village of 2,000 inhabitants, in Wisconsin, a dozenyoung ladies who have died. They have nearly all died of anemia, co.isumption, spinal men ingitis, and similar diseases. Two were married and died wit'iin the year. But one or two of the number had re ceived anything more than a common school education. One or two were seamstresses, and one or two were farmers daughters. None of them had led a life of fashionable disapation. I know another dozen to-day who are hopeless invalids. School causes would seem to have more to do with the ill health of these, One lying now at the point of death is a graduate of a female seminary, and has never known a well day since her graduation. Perhaps you will not wonder at this when I tell you that for the last term that she was in sthoolshe was not able to study, and prepared all her lessoos in bed. Do you not think that missionaries should be abroad in Wisconsin, with a special message to the heads of femalefeemina ries? Four or five of these invalids came out of the same school, but none of the others graduates. Two have spinal diseases, two consumption, and several of the others uterine diseases in one form or another." The Baffled Book Agent. From the Atlanta Constitution, He came in briskly and sat down with a jerk. One end of his paper-col lar reared over his left ear a qualmy smell of last week's clothes hung about him. He turned his glass eyes upon us, and loosening his India-rubber tongue he began: 'The Universal History of the Uni verse'—in 2,000 installments—50 cents an installment—300 engravings "Stop, my friend. Restrain the in tellectual flow—dam up that torrent of eloquence. Listen to me—do you know what has come to me since I saw you last It was in Octo "But, sir," interrupted the book agent, "you never saw me before!" "Neversaw you? Imqossible! Could one who once gazed on those noble lineaments ever forget them? Could that coy wart on the nose be forgotten —or that eloquent mole on your jaw Never, never! It was in October that I met you last. Blessed October—that month of richness and of sobered pas sion Do you know of all the months in the year October is "Pardon me, sir," exclaimed the book agent, rolling his brass eyelids in desperation, "you are "Pardon me, sir I cannot allow any man to hold the reins of conversation over me—I will not be interrupted—to resume my grandmother was the most perfect woman of her age you ever saw. She was 132 years old, and yet was as chipper as the best of us. My brother, who was an inventive man, put her on a pair of wheels, and it would have done you good to have seen her scoot around. I suppose oui was the only family that could boast of a grandmother on wheels, and yet "But, sir, I am in a great hurry and "You must positively not interrupt me my friend. As I was saying be fore, whes a man has a family grown up around him, it is hard to say which one he loves best. And yet that boy of mine, with a strawberry mark on his left ear. There's a queer story connected with that strawberry niaik that would please you,—have you a child "I am the father of thirteen miser able children," he replied. "Ah, then you can sympathize with my story. You have been a mother yourself. Ah, who can sound the depth of a mother's love! It is as deep as an artesian well, as high as a liberty pole. It soars like a Chinese kite, it grovels like a ground hog. it is sweet to be a mother. It gives us a new life, and fills us with a broad deep sweet "Really, sir, I havn't the time," broke out the perplexed and desperate agent. "Now, there you go again. You throw me out every time. But to go back to our conversation. I do think he was the sweetest dog I ever saw. saw. Although he was quite young when he was born, he seemed to take to learning naturally. When I would send him to drive the pigs out of the yard he would take the little pigs pat ronizingly by the ear." "Ha! Ha!" laughed the book agent, dolefully, quite a bright dog—quite bright—but would you like this niv "Interrupting me again there!" but it don't matter. To resume: As I said before, the boat was very small and quite cranky. It rocked wildly, and the girl became excited and it was hard to control her. You have doubt less been on the water, and under stand Just here the Book agent rose, his steel joints snapping viciously. He cast one wild, scared look around him and made for the door. Having reach ed the door, he turned and looked back hungrily. He brightened up, as if he was going to open the conversation, but he gulped his sorrow down hastily, and fled. "Come back and see us again," we, called blandly over the stairs. "You are such a good listener it's a pleasure to talk to you. Yes, come again! Come during the next centennial!" Merchant's Gargling Oil has become one of the most popular liniments for human flesh that is now prepared, while for horses and cattle it has no equal in the world. We are assured by those who have used it for piles—one of whom is a distinguished physician —that among all the various pile reme dies, none afforded such speedy relief as the Gargling Oil,—Louisville (Ky.) Daily Democratic, June 4,1856, Rufus Chapman of Liberty, Maine, had a stiff leg bent at the knee, limbered and strengthened by the use ol Johnson's Anodyne Liniment. Discoveries Made by Accident. "nNot a few discoveries in the arts and sciences have been made or suggested by accident. The use of a pendulum, suggested by the vibrating of a chan delier in a cathedral the power of steam, intimated by the oscillating of a lid of a tea-kettle the utility of coal gas for light, experimented on by an ordinary tobacco-pipe of white-clay the magnificent property of the lens, stumbled upon by an optician's appren tice while holding spectacle glasses be tween his thumb and finger—are well known instances in proof of the fact. Galvanism was discovered by acci dent. Prof. Galvani of Bologna, in Italy, gave his name to the operation, but his wife is considered as actually entitled to the credit of the discovery. She being in bad health, some frogs were ordered for her. As they lay upon the table, skinned, she noticed that their limbs became strongly con vulsed when near an electrical con ductor. She called her hnsband's at tention to the fact he instituted a se ries of experiments, and 1792 the gal vanic battery was invented. Eleven years later, with that dis coverey for his basis, Prof. Alessandro Volta, also an Italian, announced his discovery of the "voltaic pile." The discovery of glass-making was effected by seeing the sand vitrified upon which a fire had been kindled. Blancourt says that the making of plate-glass was suggested by the fact of a workman happening to break a crucible filled with melted glass. The fluid ran under one of the large flag stones with which the floor was paved. On raising the stone to recover the glass, it was found in the form of a plate, such as could not be produced by the ordinary process of blowing. Glass pearls, though among the most beautiful, inexpensive and common or naments worn by the ladies, are pro duced by a very singular process. In 1656 a Venetian named Jaquin discov that the scales of a fish called bleak-fish possessed the property of communi cating a pearly hue to the water. He found by experimenting that beads dipped into this water assumed, when dried, the appearance of pearls. It proved, however, that the pearly coat, when placed outside, was easily rub bed off and the next improvement was to make the beads hollow. Mak ing these beads is carried on to this day in Venice. The beads are all blown separately. By means of a small tube, the insides are delicately coated with the pearly liquid, and a waxed coating is placed over that. It requires the scales of four thousand fish to produce half a pint of the liquid, to which a small quantity of sal-amoniac and isin glass are afterward added. Lundy Foot, the celebrated snuff manufacturer, originally kept a small tobacconist shop at Limerick. One night his house, which was uninsured, was burned to the ground. As he con templated the smoking ruins on the following morning in a state bordering on despair, some of the poorer neigh bors, groping among the embers for what they could find, stumbled upon several canisters of unconsumed but half-baked snuff, which they tried,and found so pleasant to their nose that they soon loaded their waistcoat pockets with it. Lundy Foot, aroused from his stupor, imitated their ex ample and took a pinch of his own property, when he was struck by the sunerior pungency and flavor it had acquired from the great heat to which it had been exposed. Acting upon the hint, he took another house in a place called Black Yard, erected ovens and set about the manufacture of high dried commodity which soon became widely known as Black-Yard snuff. Eventually he took a large house in Dublin, and making his customers pay literally through the nose, amassed a great fortune by having been ruined. Love in California. The evidence in the Edwards-Keating breach of promise suit, which has been stimulating the prurient curios ity of San Francisco, included a great many love-letters. On one occasion the defendant was so unreasonably amiable as to write:—"My Darling Emily: I would give all I have on earth and all of my future to be with yeu one-half hour." Although he seemed to be in a mood to mortgage time and eternity in consideration of a half-hour, she read the letter, seized a pen, and scolded him for being an "inconstant lunar"—whatever that may be. When the defendant received this missive he was watching the stock-market with anxious interest, and he had no time for romance. In other words, he was long of stock and short of sentiment. So he instructed his cashier to answer the letter. It was done in this wise:—"Mr. Keating directs me to say that they sin who tell us love can die love is indestruct ible, but with life all other passions fly. Love's holy flame forever burn etii from heaven it came, to heaven it returneth. K. hopes to see you af ter the Spring rise." The Spring rise in stocks was what the buoyant proxy meant. Cream Muffins.—An excellent and well-tried recipe. One quart sweet milk, half cream if you can get it, one heaping quart of Graham flour, six eggs, and salt to taste. Bake imme diately in hot muffin-rings. Your oven should be hot, and the muffins sent to the table as soon as they are taken up.