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TWETWOBTHIHSTOa AOVAH3E RonsKT MnCvKr, Editor and rub!l»he OltTH IK G1 ON, Nobles ».. MINK1 LITTLE MISS SOMEBODY. Uttle Miss Somebody wears btj hit, 'Neath it the cutest of noses, Chin sweetly dimpled, and obeslt*. O, so fat. Blooming like June1* rarest rodjs. Little Miss Somebody's tresses of gold Tied in blue ribbons and braided Down to ber plump, little waist wo behold Under the hat, softly shaded. Little Miss Somebody's biggest blue eyes Look at you straight when you're speaking Sometimes, wb.en big-little troubles arise, Dewdrops of tears they are leaking. Little Miss Somebody's brown, little hands Gather the sweotcst of flowers Oft all entranced, like a picture, she staodsi Hearing bird-friends in the bowers. Little Miss Somebody's spry, little feet Trip like a fairy's or nearly Faster they stamper for some one to meet- Some one she lovos very dearly. Little Miss Somebody's pert little pout Mukes her more lovely than ever Her silvery laugh, and her blithe, merry shout Are muslo to dream of forever. Little Miss Somebody shows in the light Beauty and blushes beguiling: Fair as an angel she is in the night When in her crib she is smilin3. Little Miss Somebody's busy all day Doing one thing or another Dolly asleep and there's no one to pls„. Then she is helping her mother. Little Miss Somebody's ooquettish airs Wfcsa she Is noticed are Qharming Bnmailms they'll be t« MMlnver HM anares »—Hy Md truly alarmlag. Little Miss Somebody now is so small That we're not a bit afraid of her— Waen she rows bigger she'll make one and all Tremble and helplessly love her. —H. c. Dodge, la Goodall's Sua. JOHN'S SUGGESTION. •9 a Suggrester Rosa Thinks Is Simply Perfect. He DON'T see why mind it at all, anet it isn't a bit like going to an alms house, you know. And really, it seems the only thing to be done under the cir cumstances. If you knew how to get your living in any way, and were able to do it, of course things would be differ ent but as it is, you haven't any choice. And your hundred and fifty dollars won't last very long." "No," and Janet Reeves sighed, a 'fry sad look on her gentle face "and but for your kindness in keeping me here the past six weeks, a great deal of it would have been gone already." "Well, we needn't talk of that," said Mrs. Wayne, briskly. "Let's go back to the subject of this Old Ladies' home. John says it is a lovely place, and—" "You—you surely haven't mentioned the subject to your brother?" inter rupted Janel, a red flush springing to her pale cheeks. "Goodness! No! I wouldn't think of such a thing for a moment. It isn't matter in which he would be at all Interested. But Beechwood is only a little way from the Old Ladies' home, and, of course, he knows all about it. I have heard him say it is a perfect paradise for old people—a big, old fashioned house, almost hidden by rines, and surrounded by old oaks and beech trees. Why! there's John now come to take Rosa out driving, 1 sup pose. If you really wish to speak to him about this project, Janet, or ask him any questions, I'll—" "Oh, no, no! Not for the world!" cried Janet, hurricily, a look, almost of terror, in her brown eyes. "As you say, it would not interest him in the least. Lida, promise me you won't speak to him about it I ask it as a special favor." "Certainly, I promise," answered Mrs. Wayne, with alacrity and before anet had time to speak again the door opened and John Humphreys came in. He was a tall, fl tie-looking man of about forty-five years of age, with keen blue eyes, a heavy, dark mustache and brown hair thickly strewn with gray. Life had been very pleasant to him, al ways but love had played no part in it, and he had repeatedly assured his sis ter that he was too busy to find time for love-making or matrimony. But Mrs. Wayne felt sure that at last he had fallen a victim to the tender pas sion, and inwardly rejoiced at the good I JOHN BVMPHBEYS CAME IK. fortune which had made Rosa Burth not her guest, for Rosa was young, beautiful, rich and charming, and would make a fitting mistress for John's handsome home, as well as an admir able sister-in-law. Mr. Humphreys shook hands with Miss Reeves and nodded affectionately at his sister. "Miss Rosa ready?" he asked. "I'll tell her you have come and Mrs. Wayne put down her work—a piece of bins satin she was embroider ing—and went out. Mr. Humphreys walked to the win dow and stood there, staring out into the garden. It was easy to find sub jects of converse with Rosa Burthnot, who was all life and spirit, but with this shy, elderly spinster he found him self tongue-tied. You're better to-day, 1 hope, Miss Beeves," he said at last. "Oh, I am quite well now," she re joined, without looking at him, and ap parently intent on the covering of a little primer belonging to Mrs. Wayne's only child. "I cannot call myself an invalid any longer, and 1 shall go very soon." "Go! Go where?" "I—I scarcely know," hesitatingly. "But I cannot trespass any longer on your sister's hospitality. I have al ready stayed too long." "That is absurd! 1 don't see why yon should go at all. Considering what yon did for—" from drowning) I don** agm' with yon.'* "I mean that I have been amply re* paid," said Janet, very much embar used. "Think of how devotedly your sister nursed me all the time I was laid up with that dreadful rheumatic fever, and how I have stayed on here, day after day, since I got welL" "The fever was the result of your plunge into the icy water after little Ruey. It would have been ungrateful, indeed, in Lida, not to have done all in her power in return. Where do you propose to go—" But the question was never finished, for, to Janets great relief, there was a sound of gay laughter in the hall, and Lida and Rosa came in, the latter draw ing on a pair of long undressed kid gloves of the latest shade of tan. She was a stylish looking girl, and John Humphreys' eyes rested on her admir ingly as she advanced to meet him and threw over his arm, with easy familiari ty, her light shawl. And Janet, who also admired her, wondered how any man could help falling in love with such a gay, fearless young creature and, taking an opportunity when they were all talking, slipped unnoticed from the room. The hall window oommanded a good view of. the broad carriage drive, and Janet, safely hidden from observation by the heavy curtains, watched John Humphreys as he helped Rosa into his light buggy and gathering the reins in his hand sprang in beside her with some merry remark which the pale watcher at the window could not hear. "She has everything, everything!" murmured the poor, lonely little woman "and I—I have nothing. Oh, why should things be portioned out so unequally in this world! And yet how foolish to repine. At my age I ought to have more sense and courage." But as she thought of her utter lone liness, and that in a day or two she must go forth among strangers, to be come an inmate of a charitable institu tion, she put her head down on the broad window-seat, and cried until she was exhausted. She did not dream for a moment that the handsome couple in the carriage were even then talking of her. "Janet Reeves is the best, most un selfish woman I ever knew," said Rosa Burthnot, as the buggy rolled out from the gravel drive into the shaded coun try road. "I have actually fallen in love with the poor, lonely, little thing, and I don't see how anyone could help it She is so thoroughly sweet and good!" John Humphreys pulled his mustache thoughtfully, his eyes on the sleek backs of his chestnut hordes, but said nothing. "She is evidently troubled about the future," continued Rosa, "and it is a shame that she is so utterly alone in the world. She ought to have married long ago but of course she never got a chance, penned up in this little coun try village, taking care of her old father. She was telling me yesterday about her home and what a pretty, old fashioned garden she had, and she cried so pitifully that I couldn't help crying, too. And when her father died his income stopped, and the sale of all the personal effects brought only two hundred dollars! She seemed to think she ought to be very grateful to Lida for having given her a home for so long, and made nothing of having risked her life to save Ruey from drowning. I wish I could do some thing for her, but she is so proud I would be sure to hurt her feelings if I offered her anything. Can't you sug gest something?" "I don't know. I'll think the mat ter over," answered John Humphreys and then he turned the conversation to something else, and Janet's name was not mentioned again. Two days after this, when Rosa came down to lunch at the ringing of the bell.at half past one, she found only Mrs. Wayne and Ruey at the table. "Where is Miss Janet?" she asked. "She has gone," answered Mrs. Wayne. "She left at ten o'clock. I suggested to her that she ought to say good-by to you, but she is such a timid creature she wouldn't disturb you at your letter writing. She said it would be a matter of no moment to you that she was leaving, and I could make her adienx for her. But I think she was afraid you would ask where she was going. Such absurd pride!" "Why, has she left the village?" "Yes, she has taken my advice and gone to the Old Ladies' home." "Lida! you don't mean it!" "Yes, 1 do. It was the best step she could take under all the circumstances. She has neither the ability nor the strength to earn her own living and it would be useless for her to attempt it At the home she will have a good room, and plenty to eat, at least It is a lovely place, and not at all like an almshouse, for it is well endowed and she must pay one hundred dollars to secure admittance." "But oh! Lida! how friendless the poor little thing must feel how en tirely alone in the world! My heart aches for her." "But what else could she do, Rosa? I think it very fortunate there is an Old Ladies' home for her to go to." "It is cutting her life short at forty, Lida. She isn't an old lady, and she won't feel that she is in her true place. She will fret herself to death there, and die of a broken heart But she shan't stay there very long if I can help it ust as soon as I am married I will take her away." "You speak as if your marriage were a probability." "So it is. I have been making up my mind for several days to speak to you about it" "Rosa! I am delighted!" and Mrs. Wayne rose hastily to press a kiss on the girl's blooming cheek. "But it seems to me John might have given me some inkling of it, knowing as he does that for years I have wanted him to marry." "I don't exactly understand you, Lida. Mr. Humphreys has nothing to do with my marriage, except that as guardian for Roland Raspton for ten years, his consent was asked—but as a mere matter of form." Mrs. Wayne stared at her friend a moment in bewilderment "Yon are engaged to Roland Rasp ton!" she exclaimed at last "Yes, and we are to be married just as soon as he returns from Europe." "I think you ought to have told me before, Rosa and I confess I am bitter ly disappointed. I was so anxious to have you for a sister-in-law." "My dear Lida, what utter non sense! Why! your brother is twenty five years older than I. We are not snited to each other at all." "Nevertheless, I am disappointed and I am sure he cares a great deal for you." "Only as a friend but if I am not mistaken he cares in an entirely differ ent way for some one else." "What do you mean?" and Mrs. Wayne looked startled. "Wait and see and with a merry laugh Rosa ran from the room in an swer to a call from Mrs. Wayne's little daughter in the garden. Meanwhile Janet, a little Russian leather bag in her hand, and a look of utter dejection on her face, was mak ing her way from the Ridgefield station to the Old Ladies' home, a distance of two miles by the country road. She "0, Mr. Humphreys, that was noth ing—nothing at all!" Nothing, to rescue an only child had left her trunk to be sent for later, and had declined the wt ot the tion hack, feeling that she could not afford* to spend an unnecessary penny. Tired, dusty and, warm, she was glad when she came in sight of the home but just as die reached the gate and was about to push it open, she heard the sound, of horses' feet and»the swift roll of a carriage, and looking- around saw, to her consternation, that he who held the reins over the backs of the stylishly moving chestnuts was John Humphreys, whose handsome estate was situated only a mile from the home. It was too late for escape. She had been recognised and in another mo ment the chestnuts were drawn up sharply, and their owner was on his feet by Miss Janet's side. "Miss Janet! Is it possible! Why, what are you doing here?" Janet was unable to answer, ami her MISS JANKT! IS IT POSSIBLE!" eyes fell before the earnest, penetrat ing gaze of her questioner. "Do you know anyone in here?" "No," she faltered, "I—I have had some correspondence with the matron, and—and," desperately, "I have applied for admission." "You!" For a moment John Hum phreys stared at her aghast "You can't be in earnest You are joking." Janet shook her head sadly, though she tried to smile. "It is true." "But you are not an old lady." "That does not make any difference. I am obliged to go here for a time, at least That rheumatic fever left me very weak, and I am not able just now to make any effort toward my own support" "But surely you have some friend he began. "No, there is no one at all," she said, the tears standing thickly in her eyes. The sight of them moved him strange ly "Don't speak so positively. Do you count me as no one? I am your friend, Janet, and I will never let you enter this gate if I can help it" His voice was low and determined, and there was a ring of passion in it that made Janet tremble from head to foot No one had ever before spoken to her like that "You don't say anything, Janet Don't tell me that you won't let me save you from this. I have known for a month past that you were all the world to me. Janet, darling, look up at me." She looked up, their eyes met, and the next instant she ^vas in his arms. Ah! she had never known until now how sweet it was to be loved and to love again, but she was none the less happy because of that It was well that the buildings of the Old Ladies' home were situated along way from the road, and that no one was about the grounds, otherwise the old ladies might have had food for gos sip for along time for it is not every day that a little dusty spinster is seen weeping on the shoulder of a big, handsome and very devoted lover. However, Janet's tears were soon dried, for thsv were tears of relief and joy and five minutes later she was sit ting in the carriage by her lover's side, on her way to Ridgefield, where, in the small parlor of the Methodist parson age, she was speedily made Mrs. John Humphreys. Mrs. Wayne refused at first to be reconciled to the match but when she saw how perfectly happy her brother was, and how graciously Janet filled her position as mistress of Beechwood, she concluded to make the best of it, and held out the olive branch forth with. But she never forgave Rosa for hav ing disappointed her, and there was a decided coolness between them on that account, which was not lessened when Rosa told how she had urged John to suggest something for Janet's relief. "And as a suggester, he is simply perfect!" she said. To which Mrs. Wayne made no re ply-—Florence B. Hallo well, in Demo rest's Magazine. A Queen's Gift to Her People. In the middle of the sixteenth century Queen Bona of Poland imported various kinds of medicinal plants from Italy and had them acclimatized in Podolia. From that part of Poland their cultiva tion spread throughout the region now known as southern Russia. But the farming of the medicinal plants was soon abandoned in Russia. At present there are forty-eight species growing wild in that region. They have lost their curative virtues, but their Italian origin is still preserved in the names by which they are known in the Russian tongue. A few years ago some farmers in the government of Kharkov again began to cultivate them. Their efforts proved so remunerative that many other farmers followed their example. Now the cultivation is carried on in four dis tricts of that government and yields good profits to the planters. Large quantities of anise seed are sold in foreign countries, yielding clear profits of some fifty to eighty rubles per desyatin.—Chicago News. She Meant It, Too. "This is the woman's age," remarked Mr. Bisbee to his wife, as he read an advanced paragraph in the evening paper. "Say woman's era, Mr. Bisbee," sug gested his wife. "And why, my dear?" "Because no woman likes to have her age commented on," was the con sistent answer.—Detroit Free Press. An Oversight. Customer—Look here! I brought in thirteen collars the other day and you returned only seven. This is an out rage. Laundryman (proudly drawing him self up)—You evidently forget, sir, that thirteen is an unlucky number.— Judge. Wanted Is In Writing. "Scaddsby is a suspicious fellow ,** said Brief the lawyer. "I did some work for him a little while ago, and when he asked for the bill I told him it was all right—I wouldn't charge him anything. He thanked me cordially, but said he'd like to have a receipt"— Puck. —The Date Had Been Fixed.—Coin Dealer—"Now, here's a rare old coin, struck in Jerusalem, when the Jews owned the city." Customer—"But look at the date: 1679." Coin Dealer—"Ah, but you see that means the year 1079 before Christ," (fact) Brooklyn Eagle. PUNQENT PARAGRAPHS. —She—"I don't believe in long en gagements, do you?" He-^tNo people sire apt to find out too many things about each other."—Boston News. —Heard at Brighton Beach. —Enthu siast—"Don't you think Wagner is an gelic?" Materialist—"Well, that's hard to tell he's dead, yon know."—Brook lyn Eagle. —"Did yon take much exercise during the winter?** "No." "I thought yon Were such a firm believer in physieal culture." "So 1 am I attended every lecture delivered upon the subject" Light —An Ideal Wife. Husband "No bluestocking-forme. An ignorant wo man makes afar better wife." Wife— "Am I a good wife, John?" Husband— "Yes, you are an ideal one." Yankee Blade. -yOne Less, Anyway.—"Henry," the whispered, "why don't you say some thing?" ''Because," he answered, be tween his teeth, "I have just swallowed a mosquito, and don't want him to es cape."—Columbus .Press. —Citizen—"I hear you are running for office?" Candidate—"Yes, a month ago I placed myself in the hands of my friends." "How are you now?" "I would like to borrow fifteen cents to get a dairy lunch."—Baltimore American. —In the Chicago Swim.—First brother (in Chicago)—"Are you going to that five o'clock tea?" Second brother— "No." First brother—"Thin let me wear your Prince Albert I've got a flan nel shirt"—St Louis Amenities. —"Well," said father-in-law, after mother-in-law had returned from a viuit to the young couple, "what sort of a fellow is John?" "I'm afraid he's not good for much," said mother-in-law. "He reminds me very much of you."— Harper's Bazar. —Mr. Townly—"I got a letter from your cousins to-day." Mrs. Townly— "Inviting us to spend the summer, of course." Mr. Townly—"No stating that they do not intend to run a charity hospital this season."—N. Y. Herald. —It Meant About the Same.—Jack— "What discount will you allow me on engagement rings?" Maiden Lane Jew eler—"Are you in the trade?" Jack— "No but I'm going to summer at New port"—Jeweler's Weekly. —Doubtful.—Ethel—"I don't see why you call Miss White homely. I'm sure, I wish I were half as good looking as she is." Fred—"You are, Ethel, you know you are." And Ethel is wonder ing whether he meant) to compliment her.—N. E. Magazine. —Pretty Girl (to salesman)—"I want to buy a hammock strong enough to hold up three," Salesman "Sorry, miss, but our hammocks will only hold up two." Pretty Girl (unhesitatingly) "Well, no matter, I'll take one.—Bos ton Herald. —A flying frog wa3 recently caught in Pennsylvania and now a flying rabbit has been captured in Missouri If it were not for the fact that once in awhile a flying banker is caught, there would be reason to fear that man had fallen behind the rest of the animals in the important particular of inventing a fly ing machine.—Detroit Free Press. —Two Pictures. Observant Son "Papa, what a splendid car! Look at the silver service and the plush and vel vet and curtains. Who are the men in it?" Papa—"That's the director's car, and the occupants are having a regular jamboree." O. S. "And who's that 6eedy old fellow eating hard-boiled eggs and crackers in that emigrant car?" Papa—"Oh! that's only one of the heavy stockholders on his way to see why he doesn't get any dividends."—Pittsburgh Bulletin. 8OME DEAF ARISTOCRATS. The Princes* of Wales* Ailment Has Par allels in High Life. "I hear from London that the deaf ness of the princess of Wales has of late increased to such an extent as to render conversation with her almost impos sible." writes a correspondent "It is an affliction which she has inherited from her mother. Queen Louise, of Den mark, and from which, indeed, but few royal families appear to be exempt "The late empress of Brazil was al most stone deaf. So, too, is the di minutive ex-King Francis, consort of Queen Isabella of Spain. The duchess of Genoa, mother of Queen Marguerite of Italy, could scarcely hear the report of a cannon if fired close beside her, while Prince Alexander of Prussia, the queen of Sweden, and in particular King Leo pold of Belgium's brother, the count of Flanders, are almost equally hard of hearing. The count of Flanders, who is exceedingly tall, almost a giant extremely fond of a witty story, especi ally when it possesses the flavor which you in this country most unkindly de scribe as "Gallic," and I have frequent ly experienced the greatest difficulty in not laughing outright when witnessing the frantic efforts of the fat and very short prince of Wales standing on tip-, toe to communicate confidentially some particular good thing to the count "Nor shall I ever be able to forget the practical joke played by Princess Pauline Metternich a few years ago at Vienna at a dinner which she gave. The two chief guests were a couple of surly old generals who were dining there for the first time, and who were unacquainted with one another. To each on entering she had whispered that the other was extremely hard of hearing, though very sensitive on the point of being deaf. At dinner they sat on either side of the princess, and being each convinced that the other was deaf commenced shouting at one an other in such a manner as to absolutely drown the conversation of the remain der of the guests. Of course each of the two old fellows got angry at being shouted at by the other, and commenced to mutter aside concerning the im becility of yelling so loudly, convinced, of course, that the party whom they concerned was unable to hear them. Fortunately neither of the two generals realized that our inextinguishable laughter was caused by themselves. Indeed, they were so angry with one another that they heeded but little' else. They remained but a short time after we rose from the table, and kissing tha princess' hand on their departure, each apologized for having been led by the stupid deafness of his comrade to man ifest signs of irritatiov" N. Y. Recorder. The Coal of Great Britain. It appears that about 17,000,000 tons of coal per year is the amount yielded by the chief coal districts of Great Britain—Newcastle, South Wales and Clyde country—and, assuming this to represent the average consumption fay. many years to come, it is estimated that the British mines will be exhausted in less than six hundred to eight hun dred years. It is further calculated that, drawing upon only one of her fields, the Westphalian, Germany will not exhaust that before the end of the twenty-seventh century, but that by the beginning of the year 3000 the big coal fields of Bavaria and the Aachen and the Silesian districts will also be entirely used up. What will Europe do for fuel then? Fall back on the timber supply, of course. But the timber will also be a thing of the past At the rate the woodman is now denuding the face of Europe, the twenty-fifth eentury will find a fuel tree a rarity. The. Black Forest the chief timbering region of Europe, has suffered more in the last ten years than it did in the two hun dred years preceding. What is it to be the fate of the last European? Will he frsessf^St Loais Republic. FIRESIDE FRAGMENTS. —For ooffee pudding, heat together onermpful of butter, one and a half eup fuls of sugar,, one cupful molasses, one egg, one cupful eold coffee, four cupfuls prepared flonr, one tableapoonful of cloves, oue tab}e«poonful of cinnamon, one grated' nutmeg add one-half pound each of raisins end ourrants, if desired. Bake, and eat with any sauce preferred. it with Chinese matting on which any pretty design may be painted. In paint ing on matting bold effect should rather be sought than extreme carefulness of detail. Screens made of matting tacked on suitable frames are likewise very pretty, and by one who handles a paint brush readily, very easily made.—Chris tian at Work. —Lttmon Ice: The favorite is made by taking the juice of six lemons and the grated peel of three, and the juice and rind of one large sweet orange. Steep all together one hour, c.nd then strain and add one pint of water and one pint of sugar stir well until the sugar is all dissolved, and then freeze. If you open your freezer three times during the operation, and stir up the contents well, it will improve the result —Good Housekeeping. —A good tooth powder can be made 1 by mixing six ounces of Peruvian bark with half an ounce of sal ammoniac. Shake it well before using. Take a spoonful and hold it near the teeth then with a finger dipped into it rub the gums and teeth, rinsing thoroughly with warm water afterward. This tinc ture cures toothache, preserves the teeth and gums and makes them adhere to each other. —Spoon Biscuit: Put to the yolks of four eggs a quarter of a pound of fine sugar iind the grated peel of one lemon, mix them together for ten minutes then whip the whites to a firm froth and put half of it to the yolks, mix it well, then add the remainder stir all very gently and lay it with a spoon on sheets of paper, let each biscuit be the thickness and length of a finger and quite a dis tance apart, strew them with fine white sugar, lay the papers on bailing tins and when the sugar dissolves put them into a moderate oven let the door re main open five minutes, then close for about quarter of an hour when cold, take the biscuit from the paper with a 'tnife blade.—Boston Herald. POOR JOE'S JIGGERS. One of the Sad Consequences of Becoming Mieep-Herder. "What's the matter with your friend?" asked a reporter of a young man with a broad white hat corduroy trousers, and a woolen shirt, who was trying to in duce his companion, similarly clad, to move on. "He's got the sheep jiggers." "The sheep jiggers! What's that?" demanded the questioner. "Why, ye see, in our business we have to count our sheep twice a day, mornin' and night Joe, here—Sheep Herder Joe he's called up in the Pine Creek country he's been tendin' a bunch of nigh onto six thousand sheep, and it has purty near druv him clean daft a-countin' of 'em so much. He scarcely gets time for anything else. Very oftev a sheep herder gits off his cabasar on this account and that's why we call it the shesp jiggers. "Jist ye watch him a minute. Ye see he's got ten little pebbles in his right hand. Now he'll count from one up to one hundred and then he'll pass one of them jiggers into his left hand. When he gets all the jiggers into his left hand that will make one thousand, and he'll cut a notsh in the rim of his hat or his boot heel. "Didn't ye never notice tbe notches cut in the rim of a sheep bukaroo's hat? That's what it means. "When Joe gits one thousand counted he counts another thousand and passes the jiggers back into his right hand, and keeps on that way back and forth if we let him." Here the unfortunate young man took off his hat cut a neat notch in the brim with his jack-knife, put it back on his head and resumed counting. "Poor Joe!" said his companion. "We broughten him down here thinkin' the ye see him all day long and 1 ounts peo ple for sheep, just the same as if he was on the Madalaine Plains. "What's that? Did I ever have the jiggers? Well, yes, onct I was out in the foothills of the Siskiyou range, workin' for Dan Wheeler, and I had so much trouble with coyotes and under brush that I used to connt my bunch of sheep three times a day, I didn't have no time for any thing else, and it mighty near took me off my base. "I could see sheep a-jum pin' over the bars night and day, and could hear their eternal blat ringiu' in my head like 'Boulanger's. March' on a hand organ. I couldn't do nothin' but cou nt, count count, and when I got through I couldn't tell how much it came to. Everything looked like sheep, and the hills looked like big sheep. "The tin cups and the frying pan looked like sheep. My Dutch oven looked like a fat sheep, and the knives and forks looked like lean sheep. ''The clouds and the stars looked like sheep, and the moon stood over me at night like a big bell-wether and made me count him one billion times until my head fairly cracked. "It was sheep, sheep, everywhere, and no relief. O, it was awful!" and the young man, with closed eyes, pressed his hands to his throbbing brow and groaned, as he recalled that dreadful experience. "How did I cure it? Went into town and got bilin' drunk." When the reporter left poor Joe was standing in the same place, counting the people as they passed, and changing the "jiggers" from one hand to another. —Farmers' Advance. Absence of Mind. Some .people find it hard, in using the telephone, to realise that they are not face to face with the person they are addressing. A prominent merchant in the capital city of a state sat at his desk one hot day in July. In order to secure some degree of comfort he had taken off his coat and his collar and necktie. A clerk came into the room. "His excellency, the governor, wishes to speak with you through the tele phone," said the clerk. "The governor! Dear me!" said the merchant He rose, hastily put on hiseollar, his neektto and his coat gave his hair a stroke, ahd went to the telephone to answer the governor's ealL-*-1»nth's (•ispsnioBt IN THE ELECTRICAL WORLD. —The total mileage of electrie rail ways in the United States, March 1, was *,859. —An expert electrician insists that an electric train, making 195 miles an hour, would require 7,000 feet in which to eome to a standstill. —In the new Anglo-American tele phone cable the four cores are wound around each other in a spiral jor strand to obviate the effects of induction. —As a pendant to the opening of tel ephonic communication between Paris and London preparations are being made for creating similar facilities of intercourse between Berlin and Vienna. —The national powder mill at St Medard-en-Jaile in France has recently been lighted by incandescent lamps and is believed to be the first mill of its class on the continent to use electric I lighting. I —It is quite likely that the executive I board of Rochester, N. Y., will decide 1 to operate all of the lift bridges over the Erie canal in that city by electric power. It is estimated that the neces sary machinery can be installed for 135,000. I —Great interest is being mani- —N, T. World, —Potato Rissoles: Mix with madied potatoes, salt, pepper and butter to taste, together with a well-beaten egg (if the eggs are small you had better use two). Make up the mixture into small foils, cover with egg and bread crumbs, and fry in boiling lard to a golden* brown. Drain well on clean brown paper before serving. Detroit Free Press. —Fried Tomatoes: Cut ripe ar green tomatoes in two or three pieces, mix a handful of Indian meal with some pep per and salt dip the tomatoes into it and fry in butter, with care not to scorch. Lay the slices upon a hot dish, make a gravy of a cup of milk, two tea spoonfuls corn starch, little butter and salt and pour over them. Boston Budget —Pretty and inexpensive paper racks ... ... ,, can be mlde by taking bamboTcanes «r *«8ted ^cxtizensofW^ingtonin any light wood for frames, and covering tbe successful o£ electric car, which is moved by a storage bat tery called the "accumulator." The car moves steadily over the track and at very rapid speed when desired. It will be a success.—Inventive Age. —At the last meeting of the Physical 8ociety in England an electric lamp was exhibited which lighted itself when darkness came on and extinguished itself when daylight or another strong light was brought into the field. The lamp is worked by a selenium cell on the principle that the strength of the current varies with the intensity of light falling on the selenium. —Two years and over must elapse be fore the world's fair will be thrown open to the public, says the Western Electrician, and yet hundreds of appli cations and inquiries for space have al ready been received by the electrical department This fact is significant as giving an idea of the magnitude of the coming display, which is sure to sur pass any exhibition of the kind ever given. WHICH IS THE FAVORITE? Th* C., M. A St. By. Takn the Terslm BOM.-A Prominent Railroad Official Hectares the Vestlbmed Limited is "Out of Sight." I was in the office of the Advisory Board of the Northwestern Traffic Committee in Chicago, the other day. A prominent offi cial. well known in the Twin Cities for his ability and geniality, was looking over the pool sneet for June which a clerk had just made out '•There's quite a traffic between Chicago and the Twin Cities," the official remarked as he produced a "Jay Gould Favorita," a high grade railroad cigar of the period, And it's a constant so iree of wonder to me how the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul road maintains its lead in passenger traffic, considering the immense competition. Just look at this pool sheet'' he continued. I read. "The kinneapolis-St. Paul-Chicago lines carried 13,400 through passengers in June. The advisory board after a thor ough examination of the reports fix the fol lowing percentages: NEW JEBSET has no nightingales, hut she has the mosquito, and, as a night soloist, it Is a hummer.—Philadelphia Times. The Best Teaeher, The surest lamp to guide our wayward feet, is experience. It points to Hostetter's ... ,, ... Stomach Bitters as the best medicine, the life and bustle of the city might help surest safeguard in cases of malarial dis him, but it's no use. He jist stands like ease, whether in the form of chills and fever, bilious remittent, dumb agueor ague cake. The same guides Indicate it as sov ereign in constipation, rheumatism, "la grippe," liver complaint, kidney trouble and dyspepsia. SWEET.—"I am a candy-date for your fa Idfc vor," as tbe bonbon sai lyn Eagle. •wsicsr igsi I to the boy.—Brook- HARSH purgative remedies are fast giving way to the gentle action and mild effects ot Carter's Little Liver Pills. If yor try them, they will certainly please you. A SHIP is often saved by its anchor, but men are often lost by their rancor.—Texas Sittings. A FAIR lady becomes still fairer by using Glenn's Sulphur Soap. Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents. IT takes an unusually good swimmer nowadays to float a loan.—Boston Herald. ARE as small as homoepathic pellets, and as easy to take as sugar. Everybody likes them. Carter's Little Liver Pills. Try them. ALWAYS making assignments—the hotel derlt—Mail and £xpress No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption. Cures where other remedies fail. 25c. A SHINE on your shoes Is worth two en your ooat Rheumatism Cured. 110M*TMEDICALMSCOVEIIYI Vor OOXPXJCTB and mXAnn OUBB «C RHEUMATISM AND XZUSALOXA. •urvnna„ram is jonuat.aat niT ILUIHEm HE C&iNUUIMU., BORE WELL8 a£g.»gyg8 MMiNHlaaBlaiaal UN&FFTLMIAMT nvra,en«. guarantee PEB CENT. Chicago Milwaukee & St. Paul 27 Chicago, St. Paul & Kansas City 18 Albert Lea 17 Northwestern 16 Wisconsin Central 15 C. B. & N 07 Total *100 I asked to what he attributed the fact that the "St. Paul" got more than one quarter of the through travel between Chi cago and the two big Minnesota towns. "Ibereisonly one reason after all." he replied "Th public prefer the C., M. & St. P. R'y because its management inspires confidence because its trains are the most luxurious because one may always rely on getting to a given destination on time. This is not the history of a day, or a week, or a month, but it is the regular thing. As you know, I got my training on a compet ing road, but I must acknowledge the corn The C., M. & St. P. is first in the estimation of the people Did you ever try their vesti bnled limited train between Chicago and 8t. Paul? If not. do so and you will under stand the reason for that 27 per cent. H. B. H. —Railway and Hotel News. —The Fair Athenian—She was a Bos ton blue-stocking, and he was a sailor rescuing her from the waves. "Hold on tight!" he cried, between his breath. "Say tightly!" she murmured, while the salt sea played hide-and-seck with her gullet just before they went down for the third time.—Smith, Gray A Co.'a Monthly. The Only One Ever Printed. Can Ton Find the Word? Each week, a different 3 inch display Is published in this paper. There are 110 two words alike in either ad., except One word. This word will be found In the ad. for Dr. Harter's Iron Tonic, Little Liver Pills and Wild Cherry Bitters. Look for Crescent" trade mark. Read the ad carefully and when you find the word, send it to them and they will return you a book, beautiful litho graphs and samplo free. ONE ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys tem effectually, dispels colds, head aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. 8vrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro duced, pleasing to the taste and ac ceptable to the stomach, prompt its action and truly beneficial in i1 effects, prepared onlv from the moi healthy ana agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale In 50c and $1 bottles by all leading drug gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. 8AM FLTA*CI8C0. CAL lemviui. KV. HEW VORK. N.T. "German Jealer V.S.A! —Agents Wiatad eTMywhere. A great Remedy. Bella witlioat effort. Oae milltoa bottle* fold la itn Think of that. Write at oaee for tma wunviMmmeiMiaaa PANORAMA. I Book Aaeati— pcoStefcy eddraw lac aus. MsmrrauHrecC, msiii»ii,ra. armnsiMirattaiini ••ifSa SHIP Ask ar ageats fer W. L. Deaglas Bkeea. est fer aale la yoar place ask year te semi fer eatalecae, aecare the ageacy, and set then fer yea. VTAKE MO SUBSTITUTE. WHY 18 THK W. L. DOUGLAS S3 8HOE oafffiiiN THE BEST SHOE IN THE MRU FOR THE MNEH It is a seamless shoe, with no tacks or wax thread to hurt the feet made ot tbe beet fine calf, stylish and easy, and beeatue tee make man shoe* of thU trad* (aaa any other manufacturer, tt equals hand sewed shoes costing from SLOO to $SA0. Sft ISeaalae Hand-eewe4, the finest caU OVf shoe ever offered for *100 equals French vucicu price same grade si vam* «av rvi/ mas vu§ ssssts utu avio* that Tkerfa danger in a oough—-more than ever wnen your blood is "bad." It makes things easy for Consumption. But there's a cure for it in Dr. Pierce*s Golden Medical Discovery. A poai tive cure—not only for Weak Lungs, Spitting of Blood, Bron chitis, Asthma and all lingering Coughs, but for Consumption itself in all its earlier stages. It's rea sonable. All these diseases depend on tainted blood. Consumption is simply Lung-scrofnla. And for every form of scrofula and blood taint, the Discoveryn is a certain remedy. It's so certain, that its makers it to benefit or care, in every case, or the money is refunded. With a medicine that they is certain, this can be done. There's a cure for Catarrh, too, no matter what you've been led to believe. If there isn't, in your case, you'll get $600 cash. It's a bona fide offer that's made by the pro prietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. There's risk in it, to be sure, bat are willing to take the risk—you ought to be glad to take the medicine. 99 Syrup G. Gloger, Druggist, Watertown, Wis. This is the opinion of a man who keeps a drug store, sells all medicines, comes in direct contact with the patients and their families, and knows better than anyone else how remedies sell, and -what true merit they have. He hears of all the failures and successes, and can therefore judge: "I know of no medicine for Coughs, Sore Throat, or Hoarseness that had done such ef fective work in my Coughs, family as Boschee's Sore Throat, Hoarseness, at my store, who was suffering from a very severe cold. She could hardly talk, and I told her about German Syrup and that a few doses would give re lief but she had no confidence in patent medicines. I told her to take a bottle, and if the results were not satisfactory I would make no charge for it. A few days after she called and paid for it, saying that she woulanever be without it in future as a few doses had given her relief." Cleans lei tom-made shoes costing from 9SJ00to(MOi 9 Police Sheet Fanasrs. Railroad OWi and Letter Carriers all wear them floe calf, •ssmlsw, smooth Inside, heavy three soles, exten aioa edge. One pair will wear a year. AA lie ealfi no better shoe ever offered at vai this price one trial wilt convince thoee who want a shoe for comfort and service. SO all ti.M WerfctaaMaa'a shoes JPSI are very strong and darable, nose who have gives uti |1V«B then trill win wear Boottermtki. Boys ea their nx n"»S' ss.ss merits, as the increasing sales show. Ift* THTIiflllb! CQIMIi. Lfldlftff lland-MwedshoB, best Imported sboee rromfMtoStJW. aatf SI .79 touola. w£adlee'.'J.M.flnePoagOla.Styllshaadd aad fl.73.eboe for Mimes are thiehsot Stylish aad datable. Caatlea.—See that W7 L. Deaglas* same aad fnes SIS Itssipsd oa the bottom ofeaeh shoe. vr. I» DOUOLAS, Brocktoa, JUm. Most is Lenox. DON'T Spoil your food with poor cooking. YOU CANT if you use OR STOVES. No other cooking apparatus can com pare with them. THE ONLY TRUE IRON TONIC Wtll purlfr BLOOD, renUte KIDNEYS, remove IJVXB disorder, build «trenf^tfa K»uua, in nji:absolutely eradicated. Mind brightened, brala power Increased, bones, nerves, KU. eles, receive new foree. suffering from complaints culiar to their aex, mini It, fad a safe, speedy care, JRetaras I collar to their aex, a safe, speedy cniv, rose bloom on cheeks, beautifies Complexion. Sold everywhere. All gennlne goods bear "Crescent." Send ns2 cent stamp for SS-psge pamphlet. 01. HARTER MEDICINE CO.. St Lscls. WmJ Homeless Children. Tbe American Educational Aid Association provided 1,700children with homes. In families. All children received under the eare of this Al elation are of SKOAL PROMISE Is IntellW (rence and health, and sre in age from one monUl to twelve years, and are sent FUB to those r^ ceiving them, on ninety days trial, elal cratract ia otherwise atsUle. Homes are wanted for the following chlldraa: A lovely boy, S months old, dark bine far skin. A 8 months oM boy, light blue eyes eyes aas and clear elrta. A 3 months old glrL A blonde. REV. M. V. B. VAN ARSDALI, Oraersi isyerlst«s4»»t KMM 41, tSS La Salle Street, Cklcaf*. Always Enclose ttasif. Tutt's Pills •tlmnlates the terpM liver, ens the digestive orgaaa, regalattsUM bewtls, Mitt are aae^aaled as AHTI-BILI0U8 MEDICINE. la malarial diatrlets their vlrtaea widely re«ogul«ed,ssthey saa ess nllar properties in freeing the system frem that poison. Elegantly ngat coated. Pan small. Price, Beets. USE TUTT'S HAIR DYE Perfectly natural. Price* 1.— peg box. Office, 39 4:41 Park Place, *. T. Tower'? Improved 3 5LICKER if Cutrtstttl L. Water, &Off Slickers hive Va bend* the Fall Bnni Qj» TtAeumonrverjrCasta 5oft Woolen Watch Out I Collar. MHSaMBMSMMSI |M| fe| 5 J. TOWER. MfR. BOSTON. MAft xro QGIIW or OMMATB A S A WI WILL SXND TOU TBSTZXOMT ROX VBOPXJI WHO UVB VBAJT TOU. CURED snr CURED. P. HAROLD HAYES, M. D.. BUITA&O, M. T. HAY-FEVER er wsxra TO OT VOB noon. ERSJJUAUTNKKBSTA/T "PISO'S RKMKDY FOB CATAKBH.—Best. A Obeai Odd la Belief is Immediate. It has no equal. A A nostrils.<p></p>YOUR It tasn Ojnfent, of which a smsll psrtiele Is Price, 60c. Sold by druggists or sent by Addnss. I DO NOT I DO USaUSJaBasSiisneuiitii'irfor pablie beaeve lence. I do tag, I ain successful, basfoeee at sM» profit oa perfectly sound and honorable metheda Send me small bottle of your urine with history el your ease and I will send you particulars of yoarele ease. DR. T. N. Tes CKOWMTV. vuumrtfttMetMiana A. N. K.—G. 1858b w»r» wamxeTo ASTUTISEBS mist yaa aaw the AhMbmal la this Easiest to nss. ears is certain. For to too