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I 'jk & 'i- ONthe i': 4The W if* tAr &fe\^ NOT A FRIEND TO SPARF. I havo friends in the north and friends In the east- And friends In the south and west And I call them all to no»jr thoughts' glad feast For I love each one the best. And this I know full well, that though In many a heart I share, To the very last I would h«ld them fast For I haven't a- friend to spare. Not one! No, never a friend to spare. When the stars shine out at night I love To drift In a dream-like spell. And to fancy their lamps hang just above The hearts I know so well. And never a sky but 'neath It I May think of a loved one there, JPor each glad star points where they are. But I haven't a friend to spare, Not ©net No, never a friend to spare. Oh, you on the broad, far western plain. And you by the eastern shore, 1 call you Into my life again And I hear your words once more. And though I stray in a stranger way, It counts not when nor where, You shall walk with me to the silent sea For I haven't a friend to spare. Not one! No, never a friend to spare. —Nixon Waterman, in L. A. W. Bulletin. A CROSBYYILLE FIRE. BY GEORGE ADE. THE evening of the alarm of fire at the florist's place, three doors from Alfalfa European hotel, "Doc" Home told of his singular expedience at a fire in the town of Crosbyville. "Let's see—I spent two or three years in Crosbyville, off and on-," he began, "and this must have happened in the fall of '51 or in the spring of '52. I re member that I left Crosbyville just about the time of the presidential campaign, and that was—well, it must have been about June, '52. No matter the date doesn't make any difference. "In order that you may understand this story better I'll have to go back a little. The first time I ever visited in Crosbyville I was invited out to a shoot ing match. We didn't shoot at glass balls or live pigeons in those days. We usually put a white square of paper up against a tree and blazed away at it with rifles, and, although our fire arms were of defective bore, lean assure you that some of the best shooting I ever saw was at those old-time matches out in the woods. However, that has nothing to do with the story. "One of my friends invited me to go to the shooting match, and after I got out there I was asked to enter the con test. Well, I went in and I happened to get a rifle that sighted just right for me, and I won. A man who had been introduced' to me as Capt. Jaynes made the next highest score. It seemed to me that the other contestants took their defeat good-naturedly, but on the 'way home my friend told me to look out for this Capt. Jaynes. He was a hot headed Kentuckian, and it seems that this was the first time he had been de feated in a year or so, and it worried him a good deal. My friend told me that he had taken a dislike to me and would probably try to pick a quarrel •with me at the first opportunity. "Well, that same afternoon I invited all the men who had been at the shoot ing match to come over to the tavern. It was customary for the winnef of the match to stand treat to the others, Capt. Jaynes came in rather late, while we were all sitting around and talking. I arose and asked him to join the party. He bowed very coldly, and said that he was not in the habit of drinking with strangers. Well, I was pretty hot blooded in my younger days. I said: 'Very well, dap tain I withdraw the in vitation. I made the mistake of sup posing that you would feel at home in a company of gentlemen.' I knew what to expect when I said that. He started to draw a knife, but before he could lift it I had hold of him. They pulled us apart and tried to quiet him, but he went away raving mad. They all said he would kill me the first time we met, but he must have cooled down when he had time to think it over. I saw him often after that—passed him on the street. He never made a move, but I knew that he hated me and would be glad of a chance to do me an injury. "The captain's house was right on the bank of the Green river, and stood near his mill. It was an old-fashioned two story house, very broad and well built, and thickly surrounded by trees. It was considered 'the best house in Cros byville. The captain was the wealthiest and one of the most prominent citizens of the town. He was a widower and had two children—a boy of 14 or so, and a young lady named Elizabeth. She was a very beautiful girl—very charming. I had met her several times, but, of course, I had, sever become well ac quainted wfth her on account of my standing feud with her father. "Well, to make a long story short, the whole town was aroused by an alarm of fire one night, and when we turned out the/Jaynes' mill was one mass of flames. It was an old-style structure, with a framework of heavy logs, and it.made a fearful blaze. The wind was blowing the flames toward the house. Everyone saw that it tvas of no use to try to save the mill, so we turned in to save the house—got up on the roof and passed buckets, and put out wet blankets to catch the sparks, but it was no use. The men were driven off the roof, and the water dried as fast as it was thrown on. All at once one whole side of the house seemed to spring into a flame. There was a genera] shout, and everybody retreated to a safe distance. The members of the family and the neighbors had been re moving the household goods. Just as the house caught fire and all the men were getting out of it as fast as they could I heard Elizabeth Jaynes cry out: canary!' Then she ran back into the house, with everyone calling to her to stop. I didn't hesitate a moment, but ran after her. She ran through the terrific heat and dense smoke right up the stairway, and I followed. I caught her by the arm at the top of the Btairs and told her to come back. She was hysterical and excited. She said she wouldn't leave until she got the bird. In spite of all I could do she pulled away from me and ran into the front room —her bedroom, I believe—and felt her way to where the bird cage was hang ing. Gentlemen, it was never any hot ter fo any bake oven than it was in that room. As soon as she got the bird cage I dragged her back through the hall, fkie smoke was not so thick now be MMNM tke fire had got a free draught -/V through the house and was making fearful roar and was spreading rapidly. When we reached the stairway the whole lower end of it was ablaze.- I dragged the -girl away to the front win dow, but by that time the whole veranda was on fire. The crowd outside saw us, and shouted' something—I couldn't tell what. I saw that there was no escape over that burning veranda. When the people outside began to shout the girl fainted. I threw her across iny shoul der and started for the rear of the house, because I knew that was my' only sal vation. The whole stairway was ablaze by that time, and flames were creeping up through the floor. I closed my lips tightly, and in about four leaps I reached the back window. Outside there was big tree almost brushing the window. I kicked out the window sash and simply jumped into the tree. It was the only thing to be done. Luckily I got my arm over a limb, which sagged with us and dropped us to the ground. I clambered to my feet and ran, with the girl still hanging absolutely limp and helpless over my shoulder. I went straight for the river with the intention of jumping in. The heat was something deadly. It had driven away the men who had been filling their buckets at the river. "Just as I staggered down the river bunk I saw a skiff. Some one had prob ably rowed across the river to the fire, for the boat was not fastened. I dropped the girl into the boat and gave it a strong push out into the current, and in a few seconds we were floating down stream and were safe." "She had the canary, I suppose," said the lightning dentist. "Oh, yes. She was in a dead faint, bul she hadn't let go of the cage. As soon as I recovered my breath and wet my clothes in two or three places where they were on fire I splashed water in the girl's face and she recovered con sciousness, but she was so flustered and excited that she didn't know where she was or remember what had happened. "We could look up the river and see the burning house. It made a huge blaze and threw a bright glare across the river. I remember the peculiar ef fect of this glare on the windows of the houses across the river. It caused them to glow as if the houses were filled with live flames. The girl was so frightened that she thought all the houses were afire. "When I got ready to row back I dis covered that I hadn't any oars. The current was swift and we were drift ing rapidly, so I pulled out a seat board and used it as a rudder, and in a few minutes I made a landing near a house occupied by a Mr. Wesley. Miss Jaynes was still so weak and nervous that she could hardly walk, but I assisted her to this house and aroused the inmates. They would haidly believe my story at first, but they could see the burning house up the river, and they recognized Miss Jaynes as soon as the lights were brought. "The woman of the house was very kind. She cared for the young lady tenderly for about two hours and had one of the boys drive us back to Crosby' ville. Now, in the general excitement we had forgotten that the people in Crosbyville had no reason to believe that we had escaped from the burning house. Miss Jaynes said several times: 'I suppose father is wondering where I am,' but she had no idea that he and all the others were convinced that we had perished in the flames. However, you couldn't blame them for thinking so. The window from which I had leaped was well hidden by trees, and there was no one at the river bank when we leaped into the boat. We learned afterward that the men had pulled down the burn ing veranda and had planted a ladder *at the front window where we had been seen. The blaze was so fierce that they had been driven back. "Every one supposed, of course, that we were lost so you can imagine what happened when we drove up in front of the ruins about seven o'clock in the morning. They were already searching for our bodies. Yes, sir they thought we were ghosts. As soon as I ex plained to them how we got away you never heard such cheering in your life. They lifted Miss Jaynes out of the wagon and took her over to a neigh boring house, to which the captain had been taken. He had been almost wild with grief. Those who went over to the house say it was one of the most affect ing meetings that could be imagined. First he wept like a baby and then he jumped up and laughed like a boy and said he didn't care for the loss of his buildings so long as his daughter was safe. I suppose his daughter must have given him a very favorable account of my efforts in h«*r behalf, for presently he came tyt of the house and walked up to where I was standing and said: 'Mr. Home, you have done me the greatest service that one man can do another. All that I have is- at your command now and forever. I once did you an injus tice. You have repaid me. Will you take the hand of a man who honestly admits himself beaten and humiliated?* I said to him: 'Captain, you area brave and gallant mau, but you were mis taken for once. Let us say no more about the misunderstandings of the past.' We shook hands, and from that day forward we were friends. He was a man of passions and prejudices, but if he came to know you and like you he was the truest friend a man ever had." "There's only one thing needed to make that a good story," suggested the dentist. "You ought to say that you married the captain's daughter." "I am not going to sacrifice truth in order to make a fancy romance," re plied "Doc."—Chicago Record. Faith lm Dreams. An English general and his wife resi dent in Ireland were constantly pes tered by-a beggar woman to whom they had been very charitable. One morn ing at the usual hour when the lady was getting into her carriage the old woman appeared and began: "Agh, my lady, success to yer lady ship, and success- to your honor's hon or this morning, of all the days of the year for, sure didn't I drame last night that yer ladyship gaive me a ported of tay and yer honor gave me a pound of tobacco!" "But, my good woman," said the gen eral, "do you not know that dreams always go by the rule of contrary?" "Do they so, plaee y"ter honor?" re joined the old woman. "Then it must be yer honor that will give ma the tay and her ladyship that will giiw ths tobacco."—Tit-Bits. THE FARMING WORLD. POULTRY IN ORCHARDS. Fowls Do Good Service In Two Very Dlutlnct Way*. Mr. Tegetmeier, the famous English authority on poultry, in commenting on a report of the Rhode Island experiment station regarding the value of fowle to orchards, says: For many years I have advocated the introduction of poultry into apple orchards, maintaining that thpy do good service, in two very dis tinct modes—first, by manuring the ground, and, secondly, by the destruc tion of insects and.grubs that hiber nate in the soil. The apple maggot appears to be ex tending in America, attacking the favor ite Baldwin, which is so well known as being imported largely into this country, and rendering it entirely un fit for use, but the spraying the trees with Bordeaux mixture and Paris green has appeared to prevent all serious at tacks of this insect. In the mature state this insect is a fly, which deposits its eggs in the pulp of the apple beneath the skin. The young maggots grow within the fruit, which they render worthless, and when mature emerge from the apple and go into the ground, lying in the pupa state beneath the surface soil among the grass roots. Samples of the earth, six inches square, were taken, and the num ber of maggots under the trees varied, according to the size, from 1,600 to more than 12,000 under each tree the pupae somewhat resembling kernels of wheat. Now comes the point which was partic ularly interesting to me. The experi ment was tried as to whether poultry, if confined to a small range and encour aged to scratch, would destroy these pupae. A large movable wire fence was placed about a tree, whose fruit had been destroyed by insects. One side of the fence was raised and f»0 hens were called into the inclosure. The fence was let down and they were confined to the space around the tree. As soon as they had eaten the corn they naturally be gan to scratch for pupae, and in the course of three or four days it was found that the latter had disappeared. As these insects remain in the pupae state from the fall of the apple to the following spring, when they appear, it may be expected that next year the number of flies breeding from the ap ple maggot will be greatly diminished in the localities where this plan is fol lowed. From personal experience, extending oiver many years, I can speak positively of the advantages of allowing fowls and chickens a free range in apple orchai'ds. They not only manure the soil and de stroy all insects harboring in it, but they find, for some weeks, a consider able proportion of their own food—the windfalls, which they devour greedily, with any grubs they may contain. FARM TOOL HOUSE. Every Vegetable and Fruit Farmer Should Have One. The plan of a farm tool house, as sub mitted herewith, is planned for 14 or 15 by 30 feet, but the proportions can be made to suit the. convenience of any farm or yard. Sometimes 14 or even 16 foot timber can be secured easier than 15 foot and such will do equally as well. In many places such a building can be built on aside hill, and a second fctory added, the rear opening level with the ground. It may also be built on posts, but should have sills at.the ends to keep from spreading. In this plan 4'7& PLAN FOR A TOOL HOUSE. the length is nearly twice the width, 14 by 30 feet. Stalls for mowers, rakes, hoes, etc., are shown at a and b, each being about 7 by 10 feet. In another corner is a harness and oiling room c, 4 by IVz feet. The work bench, d, has shelves above and at side of one end is a tool chest e. If the building is two story, stairs may be placed at f, or shelves and racks for tools and seeds. Room for a fanning mill is in the center, as at g. Partition between the stall, j, may be used as shelves as needed and ii are corner cupboards or drawers. Stor age for plows, cultivators and other tools is shown at h. A second story would be handy as a lumber room, seed room, granary, wpol room, etc. Four windows' are shown.—II. E. Partridge, in Farm and Home. Origin of Potato Bng*. The Colorado potato beetle receives its common name from the fact that its native home was at the eastern base of the Rocky mountains, where it fed up on a species of wild potatoes quite com mon to this region, known as the Sand bur (Solanum rostratum). It was col lected there and described by Thomas Say in 1824. It was first mentioned as an injurious insect in 1859 when seme of the early settlers of western Nebras ka reported it feeding in large num bers upon the Irish potato. We thus see that the species changed its food from a wild to a cultivated plant, as has been the case with many of our injur ious insects.—Farmers' Review. Honey- In Medicinal Plants. Many medicinal plants can be grown with profit, as the demand for some kinds is increasing. Absinthe (worm wood) can be raised as far north as New England, and this country Im ports it from Europe. Saffron, which sells for eight dollars per pound, may be grown in nearly all sections. Pep permint and spearmint find ready sale, and sage, which is well known to every farmer, is imported, frequently selling at $150 per ton. Then there are hoar hound, boneset, mandrake, blood root, pennyroyal, etc., which are regarded as weeds in some localities, all of which are largely used and have a value in market. Diamond Road In Africa. The costliest macadam on record once paved the streets of Kimberley, South Africa. This celebrated roadbed was studded with diamonds, and hundreds of valuable gems were taken from it. A peddler, 30 years ago while ECONOMY hawking his wares from farmhouse to farm house, found a shining stone by the wayside, and, thinking it might be of some value* sent it to a geologist, who at once recogtiized it as a fine riinTnond. That was the beginning of the great Kimbcrky diamond mines. i* HAULING. Loads and Roads In Europe' and la the United State*. An American fanner visiting France and Germany will certainly be inter ested, and perhaps^somewhat amazed, to see the average country highways as there existing—broad, smooth road ways, splendidly surfaced with stone, suitable for, heavy,traffic in all kinds of weather, and generally lined on both sides with tall, stately trees, shading the highway like a park driveway. He would wonder at the money which had been spent upon them. With a solid stone roadway, on which an ordinary wagon tire would rmake no impression, it is not to be wondered at that three and four tons of produce should be loaded upon an ordinary farm wagon, which is there built with tires four or six inches wide. A French load of hay, approaching our" American farmer from a distance, would bring to his mind a vision as of a moving hay stack —such a great difference is there be tween the ordinary load of hay as there ROAD NEAR NILES, MICH. (Travel Over Such a Road Is Anything But Pleasant.) hauled to market and the load he is accustomed to see among his American neighbors. Contrast such a system of roads with those of our country, with which all of us dwelling in a rural community are so familiar. The law lays out a high way 66 feet wide, but it is rare that more than 20 feet of this ground are appropriated for highway purposes proper. The "highway," such as it is, is rough and uneven, and the ordinary wagon passing over it travels through an inch or two inches of dust in dry weather and through three or four inches of bog, very frequently, after a rain .of no unusual severity. This is the road on the level. Where a hill ex ists conditions are even worse, for the action of rain and snow washes away the soil at the top of the hill, leaving the surface covered with the roughest of gravel, and transforming the "road1 at the foot of the hill into what, after a shower, is a veritable quagmire. What wonder, then, that the average wagon load as we see it in the United States is so entirely different a thing from that seen abroad! Travel over a road of this kind is necessarily slow with any kind of a load and as the dis tance from the farm to the market is greater by far than in France and Ger many, the farmer reduces the weight of his load, that his team may make some respectable progress without being worn out during the first few miles of the trip. Reducing his loads, the farm er's trips are multiplied in number, and the result of it is that it requires three or four times as long to market his crpp as would be consumed on European highways. The movement for good roads is con tinually and rapidly growing. Every thinking farmer who has become fa miliar with the publications of the de partment of agriculture becomes .-at once an advocate of better highways and an advocate of better methods in building them. The American people have brought their system of water transportation to a high state of perfec tion and we are the possessors of a sys tem of railroads which is unequaled by that of any other nation in the world It now looks as if the American people were seriously turning their attention to the common country road, and it is safe to assume that, once the movement for better highways is led along definite lines, we shall, before many years, have a system of country roads equal in every way to our water and railway trans portation facilities.—Cleveland Cycling Gazette. HINTS FOR DAIRYMEN. Taste decides the merit of butter. Color is subservient to taste in butter. Quality is of more importance than quantity. Bad water will make impure, un wholesome milk. It is uncleanly to wet the hands while milking, and should always be avoided. To improve the milking qualities of a dairy herd use bulls only from the best milkers. The chief advantage of the creamery system is cheapness of product from the saving of labor. Dairy heifers should always be handled familiarly from the first and there will be no trouble. No dairyman can make uniformly good butter unless his cows are fed lib erally with wholesome food. Dairying has one advantage in that its products are always in the line of food and hence always in demand. Proper management of the dairy gives the farmer a continuous income, some thing he does not have with most lines of farming. If the air is warmer than the cream, the purity of the cream and the fine flavor of the butter will be impaired by exposure to it. After cream becomes sour the more ripening given it the more it depre ciates, and the sooner it is skimmed and churned the better. Feeding and general care and man agement have as much to do with in creasing the product of the cows as breeding or blood. The milk cans, pails and other vessels should be kept clean by first washing in tepid water and then scalding thor oughly with boiling water.—Agricul tural Epitomist. Fried Potatoes with Eggi. Slice cold boiled potatoes, and fry in butter or drippings until a nice brown, beat up eggs and stir into them just before serving. Do not leave on the fire a moment after the eggs are stirred into them, as they are not nearly so nice if they harden,too much. One egg will sufficefortwoor three persons.—Ladies' ,W°rld- V, e&s*if A MOTHER'S EFFORT. A Mother Sees Her Daughter In a Piti ful Condition, Bat Manages to Rescue Her. From the New Era, Greensburg, Ind. The St. Paul correspondent for the New Era recently had an item regarding the case of Mabel Stevens, who had just recovered from a serious illness of rheumatism and nervous trouble, and was able to be out for the first time in three months. The letter stated that it was a very bad case and her recovery was such a surprise to the neigh bors that it created considerable gossip. Being anxious to learn the absolute facts in the case, a special reporter was sent to have a talk with the girl and her parents. They were not at home, however, being some distance away. A message was sent to Mr. Stevens, asking him to write up a full his tory of the case, and a few days ago the fol lowing letter was received from Mrs. Stevens: Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People contain, in a condensed form, all the ele ments necessary to give new life and rich ness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are an unfailing specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus' dance, sciatica, neural gia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after effect of la grippe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, all forms of weakness in either male or female. The pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent post paid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50—(they are never sold in bulk or by the 100) by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. HAD NO NEED TO WORRY. Chloride of Iron Had No Terror to Old Auntie Johnson. He is a young physician, who has been in practice but two years. He lives in a town in central Illinois, where practice is fairly good, and has his share of patients. One of these happens to be an elderly colored wom an whose name is Johnson. She is long past the time when she should work, for white wool has taken the place of the southdown covering nature originally endowed her with. Her husband and herself were slaves before the war. Now it happened that "Auntie" Johnson acquired an acute case of tonsilitis. So she sent old man Johnson out to get a doctor. Johnson performed his mission by bring ing the young doctor back with him. The doctor has had experience with colored peo ple and was prepared for almost anything that might happen. He made the proper examination and finding the glands badly swollen, decided to use the tincture of chloride of iron with potassium as a gargle. He made the'mixture on the spot and then handed the bottle to the old woman re marking: "Now, auntie, you must be careful with this." "Huh—speck yo' all done give me pizen," interjected the negress, as she eyed the liquid suspiciously. 'Never you mind about that," said the doctor. "You mind what I tell you and it will be all right. Now, I .want you to wash your throat with this and be careful after using it to rinse your mouth out well. If you don't it w-ill spoil your teeth." The old woman tossed her head back and broke out into the most uproarious laughter. Her huge frame shook and twisted with her mirth. She was convulsed with mirth. Her husband stood on one foot and the other, watching his spouse with increasing anxiety. Then he took a birdlike squint at the doctor and finally blurted out: "Foh Gawd, doctah, she ain't laffin' at yo' all. She only got one toof left." The instructions were not insisted upon. —Chicago Chronicle. A Partner In Crime. "Parson," said the dying man, "do you believe in a deathbed confession "Under certain circumstances," said the reverend gentleman. "Well, it is this way. Years ago I was a passenger on the Great Consolidated Street railway." "Yes, go on." "Oh, Inate to tell it." "Go on." "And one day in a moment of vicious in sanity, I beat them out of a nickel fare!" He sank back exhausted. "Listen," said the reverend man, "it may comfort you. Can you hear me?" "Yes, yes." "You needn't feel so worried about beat ing that gang of robbers out of a paltry nickel—I beat 'em every chance I get!" And the dying man passed away with a peaceful smile.—-Cleveland Plain Dealer. Real Rest and Comfort. There is a powder to be shaken into the shoes called Allen's Foot-Ease, invented b: Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y., virhicl druggists and shoe dealers say is the best thing they have ever sold to cure swollen, burning and tender or aching feet. Some dealers claim that it makes tight or new shoes feel easy. It certainly will cure corns •nd bunions and relieve instantly sweating, hot or smarting feet. It costs only a quar ter, and the inventor will send a sample free to any address. More Terrible. Hewitt—My wife was looking for a dry goods store yesterday and by mistake she walked into a saloon next door. Jewett—That was terrible. "Yes, she found me inside."—N. Y. Truth. A Natural Inference.—"Did you hear what Thimpleton's litle boy said when they showed him the twins?" "No what was it?" "He said: 'There! Mamma has been gettin' bargains again.' "-Tit-Bits. MINNEAPOLIS. -4T One ST. PAUL, IND., Jan. 20.1897. "Editors New Era. Greensburg, Ind. "DEAR SIRS: our kind letter received and I am glad to have the opportunity to tell you about the sickness and recovery of Mabel. We don't want any newspaber notoriety, but in a case like this where a ie,w words of what I have to say may mean re covery for some child, I feel it my duty to tell you of her case. 'Two years ago this winter Mabel began complaining of pains in her limbs, princi pally in her lower limbs. She was going to school, and had to walk about three quar ters of a mile each day, going through all kinds of weather. She was thirteen years old and doing so \tyell in her studies that I disliked to take hef from school, but we had to do it. 'For several months she was confined to the house, and she grew pale and dwindled down to almost nothing. Her legs and arms were drawn up and ner appearance was pitiful. Several doctors had attended her, but it seemed that none of them did her any good. They advised us to take her to the springs, but times were so hard we could not afford it, although we finally managed I to get her to-the Martinsville baths. Here she grew suddenly weaker, and it seemed that she could not stand it, but she became better, and it seemed that she was beine benefited, but she suddenly grew worse, and we had to bring her home. "She lingered along, and last winter be came worse again, and was afflicted with a nervous trouble almost like the St. Vitus' dance. For some time we thought she would die, and the physicians gave her up. When she was at ner worst a neighbor came in with a box of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People and wanted us to try them as they were advertised to be good for such cases, and her daughter had used them for nervousness with such good results that she thought they might help Mabel. "We triea them. The first box helped her some, and after she had taken three boxes she was able to sit up in bed. When she had finished a half dozen boxes she -wits able to be out and about. She has taken about nine boxes altogether now, and she is as well as ever, and going to school every day, having started in again three weeks ago. Her cure was undoubtedly due to these pills." (Signed) MRS. AMANDA STEVENS." ri jf^-w^r*, .• -rr* *.„-/ -srvrprapv ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN. Way t® Smell Tomatoes, Five to Pronounce It. One word in its time has many pronuncia tions. For instance: Mrs. Housekeep the other day was doing her morning's market ing. With her had come the Stranger who was spending a week or two within her gates. Standing by while she snapped the Beans between ner fingers to see that they were tender, parted the hnsks to lhake sure that the corn was ripe, pulled the pears out of their paper wrappings and conducted her self1 generally after the manner of a careful housewife, was the clerk,' order book in hand, and obsequiousness on his brow. The visitor began it with: "These tomaytoes look nice. Get some— there's a dear! To which Mrs. Housekeep replied: "Why, Certainly, if you like them!" Then to the clerk: "How much are tomahtoes this morning?" "I'm not sure I'll ask. Jim," calling to a fellow clerk, "how much is them termait ers?" "I'll ask the boss. Say," passing the word further back, "watcher gettin for tomat toes to-day?" "T'mats? O, two baskets for a quarter, I guess." Therefore, to please her guest who loved "tomaytoes," Mrs. Housekeep invested in some "tomahtoes" and Jim, who was inves tigating the price of "tomattoes" for the benefit of a fellow clerk who wanted to know how to sell "termaiters," was en lightened as to what he should charge for "t'mats." And the bystander was left mar veling at the infinite variety of "English as she is spoke."—Chicago Chronicle. Home-Seekers, Look! The Grand Prairie of Arkansas—lying on both sides of the Little Rock & Memphis R. R., and extending along its tracks for miles —offers special inducements to home-seek ers. The best pasturage, the richest cereal lands and finest farming country in the Neiy South. This Vast Tract of Land now thrown open to settlers. Come and buy while you have the chance to make your own selection. For any information, call on, or address, Rudolph Fink, General Man ager Little Rock, Ark., W. H." Morrison, Gen. Frt. & Tkt. Agt., Little Rock, Ark., Little Rock & Memphis Railroad. "Swift Water Bill's" Bride. Miss Gussie Lamore, formerly of Juneau, has made the most desirable marriage, from a pecuniary point of view. It is a fact that "Swift Water Bill" was so smitten with her charms that he called on Miss Lamore the day of her arrivalHe wooed her with $50, 000 of gold dust in a coal-oil can, and the next day she became "Mrs. Swift Water Bill." The man, whose real name is not known to any of the McKay party, came up the Klondike eajrly in the rusn. He did not have a dollar or enough grub for a square meal when he arrived. He located one of the richest claims, and is now a millionaire and a bridegroom. His claim is 13 Eldorado. —Alaska Cor. Chicago Chronicle. Gross Outrages Upon the stomach and bowels are perpe trated by multitudes of injudicious people who, upon experiencing the annoyance of constipation in a slight degree, infiltrate their bowels with drenching evacuants, which enfeeble the intestinal membrane to a serious extent, sometimes, even, super inducing dysentery or piles. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is the true succedaneum for these nostrums, since it is at once invigorat ing, gentle and effectual. It also banishes dyspepsia, malarial complaints, rheumatism ana kidney troubles. Boundless EsotUm. "You ought/to give up trying to sing. Don your neighbors smash your windows when you sing of an evening? said Gilhooly to a vocalist. don't do that because my singing is bad on the contrary, they smash my win dows so they can hear better."—Tammany Times. Fits stopped free and permanently cured. No fits after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle & treatise. Dr. Kline, 933 Arch st., Phila., Pa. "^hatis the age of chivalry, Aunt Penel ope?. Those good old times when men fell in love with women over forty."—Tit Bits. To Cure a Cold In One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c. Cure fey Teacher "And now, Edith, tell me the plural of baby." Edith (promptly)—"Twins."—Tit-Bits. Piso's Cure cured me of^a Throat and Lung trouble of three years' standing.—E. Cady, Huntington, Ind., Nov. 12,1894. When a woman has more than she can hold her hand she puts it in her iAouth. —Washington Democrat. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken internally. Price 75c. Men tire of everything else it is a wonder they do not tire of life. Trade-Mark. 4 MBS. KBINEB'S LETTER About Change of Life. "I suffered for eight years and could find no per&ainenli relief until one year ago. My trouble was Change of Life. I tried Lydia E. Pinkhawi's-Vegetable Compound, and relief camealmost im mediately. I havie taken two bottles of thfe Vegetable Cotn pound, three boxes of Pills and have also used the Sana tive Wash, and must say, I have never had 1 anything help so much, 1 have "better health than I ever had in my*life. I feel like anew person, per fectly strong. I give the Compound all the credit. I have recommended it to several-of my friends who are using it with like results. It has cured me of several female diseases. I would not do without Mrs. Pinkham's remedies for anything. There is no need of so much female suffering. Her remedies area sure cure."—Mps. Eixa Kbinkb Knightstown, Henry Co., Ind. GET THE GENUINE ARTICLE! Walter Baker & Co.'s Breakfast out. Then ytu must assist nature. Do it, and see how easily you will be TUf MefadecLNATURE'S own "THE MORE YOU SAY THE LE88 PEOPLE REMEMBER." ONE WORD WITH YOU, ESTABLISHED 1879. 'ORDERS FOR FUTURE DELIVERY EXECUTED IN ALL MARKKTI. JAID •(•oats in the world. WH1TE MFG. CO., Nicollet Island, Minneapolis, Kinn. nDADfiV l#l%Wr O *5 Aj It FOR NAMES. ON£tOLLAR FdR FOUR. Bend pUttoix jRlttta, brc*rd or letter be fore Oct.lO, jfour name* (npt more) of young folks moaintttelr io be Jntereated in the best wtskly family. p«piri.phtUahed and receive Y0Uffr*iOTMIEi«aw^Tw cash for each name &dded toonr subscrip tion list by Nov. 15. Pick beat naiMe* tolntur# returns. We do the rest. No canvassing. ?OVTHANB rwrtte your own use and town .plainly. HOME, 127 Fifth Ave.. N. t. AGENTS JEAUXEB SELL GENERAL HORACE PORTER'S NEW ROOK, CAMPAIGNING WITH GRANT, A STTPPIKKEHT to 0XK. ORAKTS XEX0IKS. 8plendidly illustrated. A first-clang book, EAST TO SELL. Exclusive territory. Liberal discounts. Address THE CENTURY CO.. 33 East 17th Btreet, Mew York. SOUTHERN Homesiekars'Guide Every homeseeker should address either J. F. MERRY, A. G. P. A., Manchester. Ia. W. A. KELLOND, A. G. P. A., Ixroisville, Ky., or 8. G. BATCH. D. P. A., Cincinnati. O., for a free copy of the IKX.INOIS CENTRAL RAILROAD'S SOUTHERN HOMEBEEKXRI* GDIBE. to $12 $35 Can be CANCEROUS AGENTS 4 v. made -working" for ns. Parties preferred who can trive their whole time to- PER WEBK. the businesg. Spare hours, though, may be profitably emp' for town and. city work as well J. E. OlFFORD. 11th and Main Weeks Scale Werks, BUFFALO, N.Y. GROWTHS and TUMORS. Their treatment a specialty. DU. F. II. COI.LEY. E*JlEDtheeverycountyfree-an&•elilifWIS.the.'United',InCutatparticularsIntownandMILWAUKEE.Catalogue new DISCOVERY girt* quick relief and cures worst cases. Bend for book of testimonials and AO Saws* (rcataeit Free. Br. H. U. SKinTO BOH*, Atlaata,«a. A *nd Whiskey Habit cured at home withoutpaln. Book of III Iwfl particulars sent FREE. B.M. W I W IT! WOOLLBY.M.D., Atlanta, Ga. GET mm flUICKLY. Bead for Beak, "IavcatleM Waatei.** ULl nillll ty KDQAR TATE A CO., 14i Broadway, KcwVark. EDUCATIONAL. 1 WlNONA SEMINARY FOR GIRLS mm A Boarding and Day School conducted by the Fran. ciscait Sisters. Thorough Literary and Cosa •aerclal courses. School of Mnslc. Expression and Art. For catalogue addreas THB DIRBOTRKSS. A. N. K.—G 1674 WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS please state that yon saw the Advertise^ •sent la this paper. COCOA Pure, Delicious* Nutritious* Costa Less than ONE CENT a cup. Be sure that the package bears our Trade-Mark. Walter Baker & Co* Limited, (Established 1780.) Dorchester, Mass* CONSTIPATION-^^ SiSi, No part of the human body receives more 111 treatment than the bowels. Load after load Is imposed until at last the Intestines become dogged, refuse LWWWWVVv CATHARTIC Not a violent mass of mercurial knd mineral poisons, but a PURE VEGETA BLE COMPOUND, that acts directly upon the diseased and worn out intestinal canal, makes it strong, and restores muscular'action, at the same stimulatingthe liver and kidneys. Not a patent liquid or pill-form dose* I CANDY TABLET—pleasant to eat, easy and delightful in action* & CO 4 I *1 to act, worn Remedy. AXX, DKUOOXSTS. 10c. fl5c.. SOo. SIS. & BULUTH. n. *4 3 $ •sH A* ^4