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u' I iisi AJ ON THE REBOUND, 'f* 7 Of .course. we'd met the winter through At balls and teas, but then, you know, 1 thought the world of Ned Carew, Who'd been devoted, and I knew Tom was In love with Kittle Snow. So Tuesday night, at Kittle's ball, When they announced she was engaged To Ned Carew, I thought I'd fall Or faint—I really can't recall When I've been so stunned or enraged! She's such a^fcheming girl—and then Oh, lots of times, I've heard Ned say He thought she looked ap silly when She tried to flirt. Oh, dear, some men Can't keep the same mind through the day! Well, Wednesday came, and as 'twas Lent, And I was blue about it all, I thought the day would be best spent In some good work, and so I went To take flowers to the hospital. And passing by, who should I see As at their door, with all my flowera I stood, but Tom! He said that he Thought time best spent in charity— I said those were my happiest liours. Well, that began it. Then we found Our tastes alike in everything. We think respect's the proper ground For love, and ours is strong and sound.' Mine's twice as big as Kitty's ring!— —Beatrice Hanscom, in Ladies' Home Journal. Big Stories of Big Fish The Tuna Man Put to Flight by tho Black Sea Banc Uau. ii Everything is upside down on this side," said a rotund member of the Tuna club, Santa Catalina, wfio wj'-s watching Mexican Joe, his boat muu, rig up a tuna bait. "On the Atlan tic we have the gulf stream flowing north. Here we're on the Kurosiwo', tbe Japanese current that flows south and gives vis this fishing but t^ie trou ble with the old thing is that it wabbles. Sometimes it's off shore, sometimes clean in sometimes it runs up into the Arctic, sometimes cutting across be low and that's what affects our fish ing and climate, according to my mind. When the Kurosiwo is off shore, as it was five years ago, the fishing is off, too. That year the yellow tail were as scarce as hens' teeth, and the rea son was the warm current was off shore and just touched the islands of south ern California. This year we're right in it. People have been bathing all win tor at Avalon, which shows that tie water is warm that's the reason the allow tail have struck in so soon. Joe s»w a school going north yesterday that covered 20 acres and was an hour passing. He reckoned that there were millions in the school." "How can he reckon?" asked a chronic kicker. "He can't read or write." "Well, he can savey, can't he?" re torted the Tuna clubman. This seemed unanswerable, but the kicker presently came to the front again. "You say Joe saw a million fish, eh? and they was an hour passing. D'ye know how that was? Why, he saw a school of 400 or 500 yellow tails, that's what he saw, and, like they al ways do at the first run, they was swim ming in a circle, and Mexican Joe was drifting on the circumference of "the circle, and the same fish went under him about a million times. He's got double multiplying sight, anyway, like a reel, like all them Ananids club boat men what they don't see when they're out of bait is a caution. Why, look what they talk up now trying to make out that black sea bass is equal to a tuna." "Well, so he is," responded the fleshy man. "What!" said the other. "Compare that great overgrown hunk of a fish to a tana?" "Well, I hold the record for the big gest fish on top of the earth with the smallest line for a game fish, and that fish was a 327-pound black sea bass," re plied the clubman. "Here comes the colonel," said some one "he holds the belt for the biggest fish story." "And claims everything in sight," re torted the black sea bass champion. "What do you consider the gamest fish in these waters, colonel?" asked the kicker, as the other man came up. "Why, everyone knows that the leap ing tuna is in a class by itself. Why," rolling his eyes around, "we would feed our tuna on full grown tarpon, if we could get them. It can't be," added the. colonel, turning to the black sea bass champion, "that you are still clinging to that silly delusion that your fish beat mine. I'll tell you what I'll do," talk-/ ing so fast that the black sea bass man could not get in a word. "I'll tell these gentlemen the stor^ of my catch, then you tell yours, and let them settle it. "Well," continued the colonel, clear ing away the hooks and wire on the Mexican's stand and sitting down. "I hooked my fish one morning about six o'clock—two of us were fishing. We had 12-ounce rods, seven feet long and 21-thread lines, and plenty of it—800 feet or more. The first we knew there was a rush and two big fish came boil ing along astern then you should have heard those reels! You may talk about high they simply hummed, and the line was jerked off so quick that before I could think 500 feet was gone, while the fish my friend had hooked had taken everything and was off. There was a sort of a shriek from the steel throat of that reel, and 900 feet of good line went. I kept my fish well in hand, I confess by a species* of luck, and stopped him in less than 800 feet, and when I felt that the brake was telling and that he was towing the boat and ndt taking line I thought I had a chance but just then began some of the strangest maneuvers I ever saw in a fish. Suddenly I thought he was gone. Ym who have caught tunas perhaps know this peculiarity of the fish in get ting off when there is no strain on the linie another tuna sometimes cuts it with its back. Well, I thought this had happened, but a second later I saw a gleam on the water, and it was my fish he'was coming for me like a shot and on the surface, his blue back and yellow fins blading in the sunlight. I reeled for my life, there was no doubt about that. I had a big multiplier that ate up line like a windmill, but no reeling on top of the earth could have met that rush, and I saw my line slack and made up my mind that the game was up. The fish stopped 20 feet from the boat, or as ebon as he saw me whirled about, fairly dazzled me as the sun struck film and was off ag'ain with 20O fcetbej fdrfe l^'codld &top hi in. Then hie began to pUnge to the bottom and drag the j' line tike a steam engine, hauling the boat round then. hie caoft td' the top again and rushed in oni ma^ts before.' Finally, after nearly threp ijoqrs of this the fish started 4owu the co^st and towed us five miles sometimes ..stop ping to rush away, occasionally turning and towing the boat against a heavy sea that had picked up, but invariably turning south-again, and in four hours from the start was gaffed, after a hard struggle. He broke the first gift ifr pieces and tore it from the hands of the boatman. The fish was fought hard from the start to the finisji and weighed 183 pounds." "It's a good fish story, no doubt," said the black sea bass champion as the col onel concluded "it's a game fish, but it's not in the same class with the black sea bass and I never landed my biggest fish. It was this way: I was fishing for whitefish and had on a sardine. I got a bite and pulled up, then got a heavier bite, then a still heavier one, and final ly after a hard struggle got the fish up and to my amazement I saw it was a black sea bass. A rockbass had tfiken the sardine, a whitefish had taken the Rockbass, a yellowtail had grabbed the whitefish and the sea bass had taken the yellowtail. The fish towed us, an chor down, four miles up ths coast and headed for San Nicolas, 70 miles away then I said to Jim: 'I reckon we's out classed.' The bass was as long as the boat, as near as we could judge, and I would have given a thousand dollars to see him weighed. He would have tipped the scales at 800 pounds, sure. But it was not our day he suddenly gave a lunge and got away,for a hundred feet. While I was reeling him in we saw a big flurry and a 15-foot man eater came right out of the water with that bass in his mouth and bit the fish square in two, leaving me the head, which I had mounted as a trophy. "My 327-pound fish, which has accord ed me the championship of the world, I landed fairly and squarely in 55 min utes. We were fishing on the bottom with 12-ounce rods and 21-strand lines All at once my line began to run out. I gave the fish about ten feet and struck. Well, gentlemen," and the narrator took off his hat and wiped his brow at the mere recollection. "I'll give yoti my word, I thought that fish would take the boatman under water. Jim threw off the anchor rope, and with a whistle from the reel and a rush of water we were off, Jim pulling for his life to get headway on the boat, an/fl I working the thumb brake with dll ndy strength to stop the rush but before I knew it had taken 700 feet of line and worn an inch leather pad down to nothing. And that's Ttfhat bothered me—the smoke of that burning thumb brake kept getting in my eyes, though Jim kept fanning it away. I heard afterward that people who saw us thought it was steam launch. But finally the braikfe burned up, and I used a thumbstall. When that wore out I doubled up my hat, and final ly, after a rush of 900 feet, I stopped the fish. He began, to" skulk, but I put the tarpon-pumping movement into play, and soon started him. Then he'began to rush around the boat, going so fast that both Jim and I got dizzy. We couldn't see the shore at all, arid finally had to shut our eyes, and there, of course, we lost time but we kept at the feel, and several times the fubber began to melt, but Jim kept pouring water on it as I reeled," and at last, by a herciilean effort, I got that fish within 20 feet of the boat. It was then 45 minutes by the clock. What clock? Why, the boat clock. I never go fishing without ft clock. A- V, "As I was saying,'we had. the jiisii-up within 20 feet, but to move him another foot we couldn't. Minutes and seconds were slipping away, and finally we had only ten minutes you see, I wanted to do it in an hour, and just then Jim had an inspiration. He said 'stop* reeling, sir, and we'll pull the boat up to the fish.' You see, all the time we had been trying to pull the fish to the boat. So Jim took his oars and jroTyed alongside while I reeled in the slack find just 55 minutes from the time I hooked the fish Jim hauled him into the boat, 327 pounds to a dot there isn't a man on earth that can do it in less," and the black sea bass advocate looked around at the awe-stricken assemblage. But the tuna man had disappeared.—N. Y. Sun. Drawn at Right. The architect and his friend the builder were driving back to the former's office. They had been out to the edge of the city to look at some work on which they were engaged. As they drove by a certain house the build er looked up at it proudly, saying: "There is a house that I built myself. I not only built it, but I drew all the plans. Every bit of work in it is mine." The architect looked at the house and smiled in a provoking way. The builder noticed the smile and looked at the house in a new light. "How 'hard. I worked on that!" he said. "In the day time I had to do something else, but every night I would sit up late drawing on those plans. I drew on 'em every night for a month." The architect looked at the house again and smiled once more, and the builder saw him. Again he turned his eyes toward the product of his brain, twisting his neck to squint at it after the carriage had passed it. Then he looked at the archi tect with humility, "ItlbdkSap iMhose plans were drawn at night, doesn't it?" he said, and there was pathos in his voice—Worcester Gazette.* Modem. Cave Dweller*. Cave dwellers, or, to be exact, 4arth or rock dwellers, are not yet extinct. A traveler who visited the prehistoric cave dwellings ne^r Halberstadt, jn the Harz mountains, foun'd in tbe nearby village of Langenstein ten caves hewn in the rock and occupied by 40 persons. This little, settlement Vis jbuUfc onj, the slope of at rocky hill %eMT^tifie The fronts of the dwellings were made by cutting a* vertical face in the rock. Each "house" has a door and oneWin dow. The first house was constructed only 40 years ago by a young married couple who. were toO poor to pay their rent in the village. ^The rock houses are warm in winter and cool in sum mer. They are quite healthful, acced ing to the testimony Of, their inhab itants, whose stout limbs and red cheeks vouch fpr the«tru||iM of -t-hrf* statements.—N. Y. Her&fd. Jf. Besnlis Were IiMoiiible. She^rm.' Sijre on tbe water many a tipieVand I don't sec any rMuits.-, He-r^o 1 -yq^r kink, dear.—Yonkers^ to Secure It $8* Waahmgton Deeply Int^ested t^ie Successor to Thomas B. Reed— gome of the More Prom- Inent Can^l^atei. [Special Washington fetter.] The determination of Speaker Heed to withdraw from- rpublic life has brought forth the names of a number of prominent members of the house of representatives, whp, may become can didates for the speakership a position, by the way, which is next in power to that of the chief magistracy of the re public. Sereno E. Payne, of New, York, is logically a candidate,"because he has been continuously a' member of The house for 1C years.. He is at the head of the committee on ways and, means, and is naturally regarded afis the leader of his party. James S. Sherman, also of New York, is. a much. younger man, and has been a membW of the hbuse for ten years. Either one of these gentlemen, if selected .by the eastern ,members of the dominant party, might prove to be successfuland ,filthier one of them would be a good presiding officer. The western men have a caucus ma jority, if they can unite upon a candi date. Ohio will probably not present a candidate, because tbe president hail$ from that state. Indiana has no candi date, because none of her representa tives has been in public-life long enough to become a national:character. The states of Michigan, Wisconsin, Minne sota and Nebraska have no man who has been a member of the house long enough to claim recognition in a speak ership contest, excepting Wisconsin, which might present the name of Con gressman Babcock, but for the fact that he declined to be a candidate. Illinois has two good men, either one of whom would make a good presiding SERENO E. PAYNE. (New York's Favorite Candidate for the Speakership.) officer Congressman Hopkins, of Au rora, is a leading member of the com mittee on ways and means. He has often presided over the house when in committee of the whole, and in that position has manifested great parlia mentary. skill. Congressman Cannon, of Danville, has long been a'national character. He has three times been chaifuo^n of the committee on appro priations. '.tf^was hief who introduced the Minous bifl appropriating $50,000, 000 tb be used at the discretion of the president "for national defense." He is personally popular and known to" be ruggedly honest. He is a very impetur ous man, and might better detain his chairmanship than to secure the speak ership. longest in service, and exceptionally popular with public men, is Col. David B. Henderson, of Dubuque, la. If the west should unite in supporting him, his selection would be acceptable to all the leading representatives of the west ern states. He has been a member of the committee on rules for a number of years, Elrid is perfectly familiar, with the practices and precendents of. the house of representatives. He has been chairman of the committee on judiciary for four years. He was acting chairman of the committee on appropriations for some time. He is an able debater and an eloquent orator. Either one of these gentlemen pds sesses.sufficient, ability and experience" to fill the important position. Either one of them would prove to be accepta ble to his party, and would reflect creHit upon his supporters. Neither one of them would make a record for assuming autocratic power for neither one of them has advocated the exercise of such power"by. Speaker Heed. Neither one of them possesses the autocratic disposi tion which has actuated? £he strong and ALBERT J. HOPKINS. -X (The Choice of Illinois for the .House Speakership.) masterful man -who now voluntarily re linquishes the power of exalted fetation. In all ffricness and candor it should be ItaJNl Jtmit no little injustice has been aoife Speaker Reed by the pews papers which have disseminate^ the, idea that he was the author of aJcoTTe of imperial rules. As a matter ol^factj Tom S6cd. administered the rulesjyvhich were made by. the house of representa tives and adminstered them autocrat ically. Hut he only introduced tw^rules which n«ty be termed distinctively Reetf rilliaL In the/fStfst place, he count ed a qu$ru^J^9^ei|^rs sati%their seats declining to vote, and claiiging to abpenjtj ,Eyembody now concedes that Bee^ was right in taking that stand. In the second place, lie^ntro duced the policy of declining to enter tain what he autocratically decided! to be dilatory motions. He took ^llii Btand in order that business might proceed :t d%T|ew in* doraed by a In speculating upon the contest for the speakership^ and assuming that it will take to some extent, &t least, a sec tional aspect, it is worth while to con sider some interesting facts and fig ures. The total republican vote will be •84, this assuming that the vacancies now' existing in Nebraska, Maine, Louisiana and 'such others* asr may oc cur' before thid meeting of congress, will-be' filled by representatives of the same parties as those elected at the regular election in 1898. TJ|b strength of the eastern combina tion^ leaving Ohio, of course, out, will be a is follows gojijeUeut 4 MaSTOchusetts"'.".'.".*..'.'...'...!lio New Hampshire DAVID B. HENDERSON. (The Choice of Iowa for the House Speak ership.) New Jersey 6 New York 16 Pennsylvania 20 Rhode Island 2 Vermont Total 71 These 71 votes come from the terri tory east of the Alleghanies and north of the Potomac. The western forces, again leaving Ohio out, will be: California 8 Illinois1 .......14 Indiana ....9 Iowa Kansas Michigan ..12 Minnesota 7 Missouri 3 Nebraska 2 North Dakota 1 Oregon 2 South Dakota 2 Washington 2 Wisconsin 10 Wyoming Total v.- 88 Here are 88 „jtes, or only five short of a nomination. These votes come from west of the Alleghany mountains, omitting Ohioj and north of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers. The southern and border contingent will be: Kentucky North Carolina 2 Tennessee 2 nppvQ 1 West Virginia 3 Total ...,1C These votes come from south of tn* Ohio river. Here* then, is, the situation. The east has 71 votes. If she could draw to her candidate the 15 votes of Ohio she would Still be seven votes short. If she could bring to her support the entire Ohio delegation and the entire southern del egation she would have the nomination with a majority of three. The west has 88 votes, independent of Ohio. If she can draw the southern contingent she has the nomination with a majority of five.' If she can draw Ohio she has the JOSEPH W. BABCOCK. (Wisconsin Statesman Who Does Nol Want to Be Speaker.) nomination with a majority of ten. If she can carry her own vote solid and se cure five votes from either the southern contingent or from Ohio she can be successful. •. It will be seen that if mere personfe,! considerations do not outweigh the gen eral geographical political considera tions the speaker of the Fifty-sixth congress is very likely to come from we^t of the Allegheny mountains. At the organization of the Fifty-fourth and Fifty-fifth congresses the east had a majority of the votes,- and they were able not only to nominate Mr. Reed, from the extreme northeastern coun try, but they were able to locate the two great offices of clerk of the house and doorkeeper of the house, involving three-fourths of the patronage, all east of the Alleghenies. The western men say that the star of republican political power is |noving their Way, and it is a good deal"to ask of them that they shall yield the speakership to a man who is outranked in years of service in the house by not fewier than seven or eight distinguished representatives from the v#s^e^ijtpryi wfst of the Alleghenies. B||, after all, ihe majority party will be witse4f'it selects the mAn Who is pos sessed of greatest ability, regardless of his geographical looiitidn. Tom Seed is a big mSn whether he is'in Maine, New YorkHWashingtonf London, Ber lin or anywhere else on the face of the earth. It is to be hoped that the house may have a good, strong presiding offi cer, no matter where he may reside. Cfc & SMITH D. FRY. !, lAneuasfe. Doctor I %ant to know exactly what's the matter with me." "My good sii your ailment is a ten dency of the lungs to expel air sudden ly ana* forfeibljf through the glottis^the effort being apcoinpianied by a raupous and more or less guttural sound." '^That's what-1 told the doctor I dis charged the other day. He said it wai nothing but a cough!"—Chicago Trib I 111 $Wnt*jfrfrkeinB Eieh Other. .M JFirst (to man .-who has just if a|rMiSt[ hiirt in the street)— Mithering icftbt! 5 -i ^SecondJM»W£hat's y.our »a™ is it? My name it Dobbs.—Tit-Bits. OUTLOOK IS OMINOUS. •i f-'i Pacific Coast Now Squarely Faces the Eastern Question, The Partttlon of China by the Euro r: pean Powers May Have Serloua Comeqnencei (or tJ» and Oar Institutions. [Special San Francisco Letter.] i. The Pacific, coast now squarely faces the "eastern question," both from a military point of view and a "peace ful invasion" that must come sooner or later. The recent rise bf the United States as a naval power and the in vitation for the first time in his tory to take a hand in oriental affairs has brought the Pacific coast forward as an important point for de fense and offense. The coast line and the islands in the bay are being heavily fortified with the largest mortars and disappearing guns in existence, a dry dock costing $2,000,000 will be con structed at the Mare Island navy yard for the repairing of warships, and a training school for sailors for the west ern navy will also soon be established. Wbile this western barrier is being thus prepared for war, the people are looking forward with no little concern to that "peaceful invasion" which must surely follow the dismemberment of the Chinese empire.- True, we have an exclusion law, but even now the Chi nese are smuggled into this country at the rate of nearly 1,000 a month. When their country shall be carved up by the "concert of Europe" they will flock to this coast in much larger numbers, and a standing army on our borders will The disintegration of this vast em pire, containing one-third of the hu man race, will set in motion a large enough number of Asiatics to not only overrun the Pacific coast, but may in time change the aspect of affairs in the United States. And, in the course of centuries, this irruption may make a marked difference throughout -the world. This great empire has stood for centuries, and has refrained from en tering upon a career of conquest, de spite the ambition of her statesmen and the weakness of her neighbor^. Considering the large possessions of the European powers in Asia, and the repeated demands for more, it is evident that the end of the Chinese empire is near. Then will begin the immigration of immense masses of her 400,000,000 CHINATOWN WOOD CARRIER. of people, and hsre on the Pacific coast is an extensive unoccupied country, where cheap labor is needed to afford competition with the eastern states. A half a century ago we "battered down tuc walls of China," according to Our national boast, and opened her ports to our commerce. Within the next quarter Of a century 200,000 Chinese la borers had entered the United States. Then we'began to understand what the awakening of these people would ulti mately lead to. We had opened the way for an exodus from that over cro ?vded land where laborers received but four or five dollars per month. We diaw that at this rate we should soon be "Chinese-ized," or overrun by them as was Europe by the Goths and Van dals. Then we began to close the door we had forcibly opened, and erect an anti-Chinese wall. The exclusion law has reduced immigration, but it has not stopped it, and will not. Cheap labor is needed in a country where labor is scarcej and .capital will find a way to get that labor. Without the Chinese, the Pacific railroad could not have been built so soon, for there were not enough laborers in the west, and it was much cheaper to get 10,000 men from China than from eastern cities. This was the. introduction of Chinese cheap labor in the United States, and soon other capi talists followed the ex&piple. It is estimated that in the construc tion of the railroads and in the recla mation of swamp lands (the latter be ing Work Which white men would riotf do) the Chinese have added $300,000,000 to the wealth of the state. It is also estimated by the capitalists that with-' in the last quarter of a century the Chinese bave created at least one-third of the material wealth of the state. Agitators have claimed that the Chi nese "send the money ottt of the coun try." Admitting that they do, they cannot send the labor away—it re- •M I ,4 mains, and the results of that labor continue to increase after they have been gathered to their ancestors. Other foreigners also send money enrt of the country. It should be remem bered that a laborer, especially a Chi nese who works so cheaply, has very lit tle to send away after paying Ms firing expenses, and, perhaps, taking a hand in his favorite game of fan-tan or loV tery. The Chinese originated the manxifae tnre of cigars in California, Up to the time of the Cuban uprising, about a quarter of a century ago, nearly ons half of the cigarmakers on the island were Chinese. We then imported our cigars from Cuba and Manila. Not rel ishing war, especially the Spanish mode, the Chinese came to California and introduced the manufacture of "Havana" cigars, and now furnish at least half the quantity consumed on the entire Pacific coast states. Chinese factory hands are paid about one dol lar 'a day, while the few white laborers who attempted competition received two dollars and $2.50 a day. The Chi nese have continued in this monopoly. In addition, there are about 3,000 Chi nese in this city engaged in the manu facture of boots, shoes and slippers. The same corresponding difference in wages exists. From these examples it is easy to foretell the result of a large migration of Chinese to the Pacific coast. They excel the white man in light labor, and, while they are imi tative, they are not inventive. They are more patient, persevering and faithful to their duties than the white man, as a rule. It is with this class of steady plodders that we are now to grapple when the great mass of Asiatics begin to move. Naturally they will cross over to this coast, where they already have ,a cplony, and where the struggle for A STREET SCENE IN SAN FRANCISCO'S CHINATOWN. be necessary to keep them out. They come up through Mexico and down from the Puget sound country in defiance of law, and in numerous instances are as sisted by corrupt officials who have reaped fortunes in this "underground" traffic. There will no doubt be trouble when they begin to. swarm to these shores in large numbers and more es pecially if they are assisted by the Jap anese. The Japanese are more com bative, and, as allies of the Chinese, the irruption may be a very formidable one. a livelihood is not so hard. And we will have different material to contend against. Heretofore we have ha^, main ly, the adventurous poor laborers whose poverty drove them to this strange country but in the ultimate disinte gration abetter element will con e. The exclusion law does not prohibil "mer chants, or men traveling for p" easure or educational purposes," and many la borers can, and do, come in under this clause. For a number of years China has been sending students to our colleges, and learned men of all trades and profes sions visit this country to study our in stitutions. Her statesmen have awak ened to what is going on in the "outside world," and perhaps they tra^e her destiny in the harsh notes of tha1."Eu ropean concert." It is not the old China that now con fronts us, but the newer China, avak ened by her contact with that "civil.'za tion" which we forced upon her. For centuries this oldest government in ex istence has remained impervious to out side influences, content to improve anil adorn what she had, as did the Atheni ans, rather than enter upon a career of "expansion." But the partition of her territory will arouse that lethargic mass of humanity and start it on a ca reer of "peaceful conquest." The Chi nese are intellectual, and capable of competing with the Caucasian, as is shown in the cigar and shoe industries. Economical and content with small wages, they are the most dangerous of any competitors. The migration is slow and under control, but events are hastening that inevitable irruption which, within the next few decades, may prove a very serious problem to the United States. Though under our jurisdiction, the Chinese in the United States are prac tically governed by their own laws. They maintain a government within a government, and disregard the one un der which they live. They also aid the smuggling in of their countrymen through their so-called aid societies. The outlook is ominous for the futnrs of the Pacific coast. "Think J. M. SCAXIANO. The Handy Man. Mrs. Gabb—Dear me! There comes 'my husband. There won't be a whole piece of furniture left in the house by midnight. Mrs. Gadd—Horrors! Does he drink, and is that a case of liquor he carry ing? Mrs. Gabb—No, he doesn't drink. That's a new box of tools. K. Y, Weekly. A Grand Sekene. "Aunt Emeline has a theory for forming the world." "What is itr "Mothers ought to exchange ehiV dren." "What good would that do?" "Mothers always have such strict ideas how other women's children should be raised."—Chicago lfecovd. Trnst and Trnsf. Now everything upon the fscs Of this world's upper crast Developeth in shortest space Into the noxious trust. Oh, cynic appellation, since. However bust I be, I fail to see the slightest chance Of any trtist for me., *.. fi-Towh Topics. Many Revlenlabnwtts. "They say the Smilers keep liquor is their honse all the time." "Well, if I haven't misjudged SmSfer terribly, they don't keep the same liquor all the time."—Chicago Record. Aivlee 6ral», Clinker (meeting Dr. Probe)—Look here, doctor, what's a good thing for a cold? ,"i'. Dr. Probe (gruffly)—Consult a phy* cian.—Brooklyn Life. On the Wi*mg Tack. Tommy|~Grandpa, are kings and queens alWHya%ood Grandpa—Not always my boy not when there are acea out sgsiast them, —Brooklyn Life. '.' Bat Work On.'9 IfjoarUoodis impareyo* map "work on" fat cMmoteom JOB- 44 fhmkofetteS' The blood is the greatest so** tamer of the b€dy and whet* you make it pore by taktm# Hood's San the perfect neatth evenhardworkbecomesease* Intensely modern is the aew by BsadsB IroaaTjIer, at mad God w, it» tion in inder sSeaes sdl thing else. Those who read Tyler's "Far Matti After DWe," sad aid the book was clever though perhaps weighted dowa with har ness transactions, win find in The IHarf Goddea^" inst srm4 a novel dnans in new vem, hut MI oi dramatic disiw To bring hoae the Wiiw^iIS it tmtmmm t» many who never resd voider rtorioL in cidents are ased faariliar. to s3 who amm followed the recent poison eases, Tbe prosectttina officer** theory «f flu crime, the sppeBm* iiuuwiCiim «f the in nocent daughter of one at tbe anwiknJ men, tbe web of exremastaatisl evidence around and against a man of anbieonsfaed character, who is also aiiei—d, the defense less position both of these people occupy before the coroner, the sahseqaeat indict ment without a hearing before a mu&mtiMm —all these things make the leader think. The underlying motive for the crime in troduces a diversion in the pesaoa of an ad venturess, for whose presence vo apoiogjriv offered, as it tarns oat that she is the sad culprit. The occasional glimpses of aa exchange social circle, the charming heroine Helen Brownell, the strong willed bat intensely human Sanford Crane, offer opportunities for Mr. Tyler's ability in character sketch ing which he has. not neglected even the adventuress challenges admiration at times by the boldness and coldness of her awthod. The title, as will be readily anderstood, applies to tbe more serious side of the novel, which has to do with prosecution for cap ital crime bat the well-handled romance running through it all and the satisfactory denouement make "The Kind Goddess" marvelonsly entertaining hook, ruining over with surprises in its movement and its lit erary style. It is more than absorbing it a compelling. Stnyvesant Publishing Com pany, New York cloth, fLOO paper, 59 cents. When Tsae tm "Fifty cents for this beautiful little vase," wiled the auctioneer "going, gom# for 59. Do I hear 55 for this beautiful Tittle vase?** and no one thought anything about tbe auctioneer or tbe vase which went for 39 cents until another one was put up, an im mense affair of cloisonne. "Now we will show you an exquisite piece, not to be du plicated in this country," be went on. "Aa exquisite cloisonne varse—" and there the Wellesley girl said excitedly to her com panion: "Now, that is what I rail true Boston culture. Would you expect a of that kind to make such a delicate dis tinction He must have been educated at a woman's college. When he is selling a 50-cent article be says vase in the ordi nary way, with the long sound of *a/ bat when he comes to a big piece of cloisonne, it is varse, with the broad 'a' every time. That is according to rule. Over ten dol lars in price you find a varse, but under that nothing but an ordinary, everyday vase."—N. Y. Times. Expedited. Lady—I wish to get a birthday pieseot for my husband. Shopwalker—How long have yoa Iws married, madam? "Ten years." "Bargain eosntSr to the right, madam." —Rival. If you would have friends, yon must have faith in them.—Ram's Horn. Aii Excellent ComliiHallw. The pleasant method and benefieial effects of tbe well known remedy, SvRtrp or Figs, manufactured by tbe CAUT(fflSTA Fm Stotp Co.. illustrate the value oi obtaining the Bqnid laxa tive principles of plants knows to be medicinally hmtive and Bvaestng them in the form most refreshing to the taste and acceptable to the system. It is the one perfect strengthening- lm» tive, cleansing- tbe system lfn uallji. dispelling colds, headaches and ferns gently yet promptly and enabling oaa to overcome habitual constipation per manently. Its perfect freedom uum every objectionable quality and nh* stance, and its acting on the kidneya, liver and bowels, without nhi aiiig: or irritating them, make it the ideal laxative. In the process of nauufatfisy to are used, as they are pleasant to As taste, bat the medicinal qnalitie* af tls remedy are obtained Cross mi una sad other aromatic plants, by a method known to the CjuswtmmtA Fsa guar Co. only. In ovder to get its beneficial effects and to avoid iaiifiiliiins uli sws remember the fall wac of theCunjaif printed oo tbe front at every package. CALIFORNIA FKJ SVRKJP OX iwavim IT. Oklahoma Offers Opulent Opportunities tb htfRSt also saMpBswrf for Mtfast rial hw wotOt of ottff ji'Sil.fi«ilKfie. Send 9of face tispy of mm •mm*' .rtaiairtK ft1