Newspaper Page Text
1 1 ' TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, nnllora nr annum., to DO tp be paid wjta- . i nrcu iuu"' j ' - ,i . j.r..ki.iliinr and i,xmontneirorn we .tuna i ""6'":2 TobiuWcribers who have their paper, left tttbeiHoorti $350. u mm -'.t BATES OF ADVMTISIWO. One Dollar per square faihe first three in sertions, and 25 cents for every subsequent . yeoriy adterimngt 1 square perann., $10 4 column,,. " . . 18 i : " 30 Insertion 4iartiaements not accompanied with writ ten directions; will be inserted until forbid and charged accordingly. . Casual Advertisements will not be inserted until paid for. ' Notices by associations, half price. ' JOB PRINT! G ' ''' Of every description, executed with neat ness and despatch at ting office.: ,.r ,; u ' ' AGENTS FOR THE EXPRESS. JTm. Ewwos, Providence. ,' . ' ' Vnxa Wi Hkdoks Weston, . ' dm" c JtfuDOET, Brunnersburg. Fbederick Lord, Esq. Napoleon. - Doct. Wsccomk Pray, Esq., VVaterville. , Crarlss V. Jrnison, Oragon. ,. .. John Crum, Tiffin, Seneca co. O. 0. P. Johnson, Manhattan. Gilbert Beach, Perry sburg. ' Sherman, Wilson & Co., Fort Wayne. ' ' D. Strayrr, Esq. Jtfbnclova. -;r. ' JohnCrom, Middletown. ... -. ' ' , : BUSINESS DIRECTORY. MAUMEE CITY. ;. MAY & YOUNG, Attornies & Counsellors at Law. REED & HOSMER, Attornies and Counsellors at Law.', jtlS&k kND' PDBtrtHBDllVBtr SATUIDAT. ""- NATHAN RATHBUN, ' Justice of the Peace. '- ' T. HORATIO CON ANT, Justije of the Peaces . 7 ' ' JUSTUS D WIGHT, "' " Physician and Surgeon,' : " ? WM. KINGSBURY. ' Portage county .Mutual Insurance Office. HUNT & CONVERSE, , : Forwarding ,-. and. , Commission Merchants, .i -.'. : , Water sstrect. . ' S. Ai fc iLH.' HAKGENT,' a- Forwarding and; Coumnssion Moichdnts, i' - Water street. , , . WHITE fa KIRTLAND, Forwarding and Commission Merchants, !.'' ' "' : Water street. FORSYTH &. HAZARD, Forwarding and' Commission Merchants, '' " '' Water street 'i u , - . BINGHAM & FUREY, Forwarding and Commission Merchant, '' , . '.'' Water street "" I . D. STEELE. , Forwarding and commission , Merchant, ' - Water street. 'v ELISHA MACK. - m , Dealer in Dry Goods Groceries and Crockery w.- . : ' Front street. i.. S. A. &. T.H.SARGENT, I' Dealers in Dry Goods, Groceries, fee. be. Water street. ,h;t.,. '. O. WILLIAMS. 6ry Goods, Groceries,' Hardware, Crockery ' &c. iJrie street. ; B. D. COFFIN, -Clothing &c. &c. Erie street. a f n BACKER & KANADY, -Dry Goods, Groceries, .Clothing &c. . Canal street. ,. , be. v ii IRA WHITE, ' 1) Dry Goods; Books be. Canal street. T" SMITH & CROWELL, Dry Goods, Hardware and Groceries, Detroit !: f. st. street.' ! J. H. FORSYTH . . Dry Goods, Groceries, Hardware be. G, C. NOBLE, ' Groceries Si Provisions, Detroit street. A. G. , WILLIAMS, , , Groceries and Provisions; wit- HASTINGS, v Groceries. and Provisions. i.t o, rti.-.ir i-A;lCAREY;,i r;:' ---'. Dry; Goods, Groceries. Hardware, . faints, V1,; r Oils bct Front et... . BOYNTON b GANNETT. " Dry Goods, Groceries, Provisions, Hardware -. -T f ii acciront street, .v-r- i: . I CASE & MEACHAM, c Tailors,' corner, of Erie and Conant streets. ! ALLEN b GIBBONS, ., , ; ; Groceries and Provisions, Front, street. GRIFFITH. McELVAIN fe CO.' i Dealers in Groceries, Liquors and Provisions, j-, . Front street.. ..,, . ;., T. T.jWOODRUFF, , ; 'y , n Carriage and Wagon Maker. 1 s 4U. J. WOODRUFF, , , .Wter; Glazier and Chair Factory, Dcteoit street, iti k: JEFFERSON HOUSE 5ti.-iH. Steele, Erie street. .,,.((; s ' '-i WASHINGTON HOUSE. 1 "I ' W'hil W. Converse. Canal street.. ;.! fel, CENTRAL HOUSE, 1. Agn U ribbons, Erie street. iPliRRYSBURG.'v r. ' - 4i in "l,l,""ley ana counsellor at Xiaw. ; Attorney and Counsellor at La wV ' 7 . r GEORGE POWERS ' '.-r,! i iv, riaj Hardware nd Dotaeatic; Goods, ii, ; Louisiana. Avenue '' f!'. f VViwinnliwif - u VfWiiieaii elicit lifea.UljfUek'bni -li'.'f t!i. iifi Volume I. u MISCELLANEOUS. From the New Yorker. , PASSAGES IN THE LIFE OS" TIMOTHY JENKINS A Tale of (tie Shin-Plaster Currency BY OCR BACHELOR ASSOC TATE. " ' PART THIRD CHAPTER I. Showing how Timothy Jenkins learned that ' in the watch-house which he afterwards ' turned to much account. V ;' " The lane must be a long one that has no end," soliloquized our hero, as he left tho lock-up-house on the morning after his frustrated attempt at suicide. "1 have played my game with honesty for the trump, and - what have ' 1 gained f The contempt of my political associates, the anger of the lovely Angelina, the ri dicule of Hank clerks, loaters, and Char leys i in addition to all which 1 have been robbed of ray money, my word doubted by my friend, and passed a night in the watch-house. So much lor hon esty : and now" He left the sentence unfinished, fof he had reached his dwel ling, and the strange events of the night had sharpened his appetite and some what confused his ideas. ' ' Timothy Jenkins felt that he was a persecuted man. With every intention to act well his part, he had encountered difficulties insurmountable ; and like ma ny wiser men, he resolved to alter his position modify Loco-Focoism, and see whether some pecuniary oeneht could not be gleaned from the disarranged state of the currency. Great men, like the blossoms of the aloe, arc scarce very scarce ; but there are times when, from the womb of rev olution, anarchy, or politics, minds of distinguished calibre will assert their su premacy over the common herd, and ride upon the tempestuous billows of popular tumult to wealth and honor. Our national strusrcle caused the devel- opement of those high powers which the whole world coniesses to have been cen tered in George Washington. " Anarchy made Cromwell Protector of a nation, which, grown and strengthened in the aristocracy of a dozen centuries, never theless swallowed the semi-republican pill he offered it, with tolerable grace ; and politics, or what is the same thing, humbug gave an opportunity to Timo thy Jenkins of building a new currency upon the ruins ot the old, and substitu ting in lieu of a specie medium1 a most convenient and "valuable shin-plaster currency I '.'. '' .,,. ,.i It, was even so, and loth as we are to record such a heinous dereliction from principle on the part of our hero, yet, truth-constrained, we announce the fact, that Timothy Jenkins, who the day be fore was the warm advocate of a specie currency, came lrom confinement deter mined to make a rag medium, in the government of which he was to be Pre. sident and Cashier.:' ' ' ' "I am in debt," cogitated he, when he had again entered his chamber; ?,this money must be paid and I can never raise it by ordinary means. '. These are shin-plaster times, and I will profit by them. I must select a new cue. Ha I have it ! ' the democracy never was in favor of an exclusive metallic curren cy P. No: down , with the monopoly banks, and give us tree banking a Mu dicious' admixture of coin and paper, capital and credit,, mint drops and shin plasters, will furnish the true golden mean the most desirable ' circulating medium. " , . , He had pondered over his wretched situation whileconfined the night previ ous, and resolved to commence business in a small way, issue his Own notes, and, upon the lately created principles of free banking,' engraft a paper issue, which, although seemingly irresponsible, ho was satisfied would be liquidated so soon as he received the proceeds of his poem; .. .Behold. , then, 'Timothy Jenkins,. 'no longer, a specie advocate, but a warm friend ot scotch banking and a shin-plas- ter icurrency..,,'..,,, i , ; ,. f ;;;!; ;pr::;CHAPTER.ir:A,;,':Iin Timothy commences'busihesB His early sue. cess tie pays up jonn jones. To resolve, with Timothy Jenkins, was to ao, ana in aa nour auur ureas- fast, he wis , closeted with his friend Simpkins, the grocer, who vends mus tard and molasses in the second ward. Simpkins, like Jenkins, is an extraordi- nary man, ana can iouow an iaea, wnen furnished, with sleuth-hound' torecision ; but like Peter Spuvk,he was never con victed of giving breath to an opinion of his own. - ' -r ' '; Long arid animated was the confer ence of the two worthies, and the sun had clambered up .the eastern skies al most to its' meridian;' before .Timothy Jenkins might be seen wending his way again homeward, with a flashing -eye, indicative of highsatisfa'ctioni' iTri umph sat -enthroned upon hiri classio brow, and he spoke certain, words to himself, which led many ol the by-stand- ers to' suppose that he was a member of the Legislature, just returnea irom Aina ny, wimoul having! "hjad ai opportunity IWAIJMEE CITY,' OHIO.; SATURDAY AUGUST 5, 1837. to deliver his maiden speech. - But his expressions were of shin-plaster, not of I Safety t and notes. , "It will do," chuckled Timothy Jenk ins, "it must do. I will see how ' my experiment will work. The free bank: ing system will enable me to pay my debt, extend the business of my friend Simpkins, and be the father of a curren cy, like Nick Biddle and General Jack' son. This new circulating medium is a happy relief to the dangerous issues of our unwieldy State corporations, and the shy' mint-drops of the Benton cur rency. What a fool I have been to serve as a drummer in the tents of Lo co-Focoism, when I might have amassed a little fortune before this by extending the system of free banking, and making a shin-plaster Bank myself both Lash ier and drawer!" j Timothy laughed, fixed his beaver a la d'Orsay, and smiled upon the pretty chambermaid who opened the door to him on his return. . , . , , ; :- " 1 will give her some of my curren cy ," said Timothy Jenkins, as he gained his apartment, and threw down upon his secretaire some packages ot blank shin plasters. i While our worthy banker is filling up his blanks, it may be as well to state .to the reader, that he. had entered into contract with Simpkins to receive his paper in exchange for ; groceries he, Jenkins, arguing that it would have the effect of increasing the; sales of Simp kins. "I will pay you, with interest, when my poem is published, said the poet ; and the man ot mustard assented. The plan succeeded admirably. The grocer was known to be a man of integ rity, and the promptitude with which he honored the bills gave confidence to the holders; and iimothy Jenkins disposed of them readily, at a discount of only thirty per cent. flushed with success, he, on the third day of his induction into the privileges of a banker, entered the store of John Jones, who scowled upon his late friend. Timothy quailed not beneath the glance of the indignant Jones, but drawing from his pocket a well-lined wallet, he count ed out bills to the amount of one hun dred and thirty dollars, which he handed over to the astonished Jones. Why, how is this, Mr. Jenkins?" said Jones. , " Mav I ask how vou came into possession of this money 1 Have you recovered your stolen book 1" " "Mr. Jones," gravely replied Mr. Jenkins, " there was a time when 1 es teemed you my friend.; That time is past, and now we are strangers." .' '.-v. "Humph I" muttered Jones, "how we apples" ' M - " Mr. Jones," continued Timothy, " I am now a banker upon the Scotch plan. I have made an arrangement to have all my notes taken in payment for groceries by my friend Simpkins." ; . i " And so,"t sneered Jones, " the Loco Foco Jenkins has turned shin-plaster agent ! But how do you expect to re deem them i ' t .. . . r i Timothy Jenkins scorned to reply. : ,i; " When you sell your property at the mouth of the Oregon, I suppose, eh 1 queried John Jones. " Mr. Jones," said our hero 1 " ' " Mr. Jenkins," broke in the other, M are you aware that your new curren cy is a swindling operation ? and you are irresponsible, and cannot redeem them." ' ; ' , " " take the responsibility, sir," replied Timothy. . ' ' ..v. v.- . " You are a knave, Mr. Jenkins," said John Jones, as he handed a receipt for the money. ' ; : : , 3 ' , ": CHAPTER III. ?,i i , Miss Angelina Tompkins again A reconcil- i , . : i , lation and declaration ot love. , , , ' -i iHiss Angelina Tompkins was a sin gular compound of good feelings and carelessness. ; It is not to be doubted that Timothy Jenkins had won her sus ceptible heart ; he had written verses to her eye-brows, eulogized her hair, and published some stanzas in a magazine addressed to ner. . : These delicate at tentions have a great effect, and notwith' standing she had treated ' him harshly. she still had a place tor him in heyr heart, more especially after his success , in his Danking speculationT , ( She therefore penned him a short note written, on rose colored paper, and seal ed with a motto " Pensez a mio.' . In it she asked forgiveness for the past, and Timothy no sooner perused - it than he cast aside his pen, and flew to the, resi dence of his beloved. 'An effecting scene ensued -vows of eternal constancy were exchanged, and trip to Staten" Island arranged for the; afternoon, . -i f, , bu . "I will go and get some of my new bank bills," ' said Timothy " they ; are excellent small change, and will prevent any' sad accident."; xoa remember HO boiten, Miss , Tompkins?";; :.'( . "Oh Mr. Jenkins," simpored the lady, "you promised to forget all that.'.' v i " Deaf Angelina, I have forgotten it.-i'-if She is. a sweet girl " said the enam i ored Jenkins, " and now that 1 have o- pened my eyes to the folly of loco foco ism, and the convenience of a shin-planter currency there can be no possible reason why I should not marry and thrive." Ho was enraptured with the pros pect, and when he again returned to An. gelina, his looks were so tender, his words so eloauent. that the loving An gelina willingly, though blushingly, mur mured her assent to his declaration of love. ... Happy Jenkins but let me close this chapter. , CHAPTER IV. The lovers go to Staten Island the star of Timothy declines reverse and collision "The course of true love never did run smooth," said one who had studied the philosophy of the tender passion ; yet Aimotby Jenkins with his fair Aa gelina upon his arm, seemed to afford one exception to the general rule of the poet. A sail upon the waters of our magni- ncent oay yields delight to the sear heart of stoical age, as well as joy to the bo som of sweet sixteen. There is true poetry in such an .excursion. The long line ot hills on the right, as you ap proach the quarantine ground the gen tly swelling ,. slopes of Long Island, stretching away as far as the eye can reachjclothed intheir raiment of green the blue waters and the cooling breeze here are the elements of joy, and the heart of the city s wearied son throbs with pleasure as the steamer glides over the yielding waves, r: Timothy was occupied in pointing out these beauties of nature to his be trothed, when the boat arrived at New Brighton. They strolled along the beech, or wandered among the hills until the shades of evening gathered around them, and they returned to the Bay House, where Timothy ordered supper. The bar-keeptr hearing Miss Tompkins ad dress Timothy by his full name," inquir ed of him whether he was the gentleman generally known by the appellation of " Shin-plaster Jenkins i Mr. Jenkins answered that he was a banker on the shin-plaster currency. : .' " You of course have specie to pay for your supper V said the sub-Boniface, i " 1 have not," replied Timothy, "but I have plenty of my shin-plasters." " They won't do." " Why ?" said Timothy. ' " " You ought to know, for Mr. Simp kins the grocer has refused to accept any more of them. He says you are a swjndier. " What do you mean sir ?" indignant ly answered Timothy ; " do you know who you are speaking to r . " Ay l know you ; you are the man who used to stir up the loco-focos, and cried down the banks;' and now you have coaxed Simon Simpkins to take your shin-plasters, but ho was over here this morning with Mr. John Jones and so your bank must stop payment." Bon iface turned on his heel, leaving our per secuted banker to digest tne strange in formation he had heard. ' 1 It was even so ! John Jones had cau Honed the grocer, and the consequence was that the latter refused to meet the issues of Mr. Jenkins. Timothy turned to Angelina for con solation, but he was appalled by the look she cast on him. 1 " Dearest Angelina," he said, tender ly pressing her, hand, " this is all a mis take, which will oe rectined the mo ment I see Simpkins. It is all owing to that scoundrel Jones. Mr. Jones . is not , a scoundrel, and would scorn to do a mean action," said the lady it was evident she feared new edition of the Hoboken excursion, " I wish to return to the, city, Mr. Jen kins," she continued. ... . " But I have no money but shin-plas- ters, and they won't take them," mourn fully answered the gentleman, . ",Yery, well, sir," was the cruel reply of the hele lair : "l have a shilling ot your old specie currency, Mr, Jenkins, and I leave you to the pleasure of a moon-light :" . . j .i , , ".i . I . .iiV.auie oi itic nuis, ana me consolation of knowing that the shin-plaster currency is about as available as your specie hum bug. ,' Good night, shin-plaster Knight," and she accepted . the arm ot the bar keeper, who very politely escorted her to the landing. ., ' , , V Timothy J enkins cursed himselt, Miss Tomokins and the currency. He saw that he was an object of suspicion, and the , landlady .r.carefully removed the the silver spoons. With a sigh he rose and Jet the hotel.; (i : . ; ; .. t q The kiss of .morning aroused the vic timized banker from his slumbers, and he started from his couch on the cold earth with a shudder of disgust. : ! - . How ant I to get home ?" he groan ed ; " the whole story must be known, and I shall be gazed at as though I was an escaped convict. ! 1 am almost urn-. ished."!! ?!! il-!M ! Number 18. ..He searched his pockets, and with a shout of joy drew out a sixpence. With the coin he went to the ferry and told his piteous story. -.' ,, .. i ., Charon generously allowed him to go on board, and 1 imothy new on the wings of appetite to Bleecker street. A crowd was gathered before his dwelling, and no sooner did Timothy turn the corner.than a wild shout broke from their midst, and in an instant he was surroun ded. Cries of" Villain 1" Cheat !", " Swind ler!" fell upon his ear, and every hand was extended towards him, filled with his unfortunate shin-plasters. Timothy in vain attempted to speak, the mob grew fiercer, and trembling with fear, he betook himself to flight, with his victims upon his heels. , Fear lent him wings, and he distanced his pursuers who sent after him yells of baf fled rage. Seating himself upon a step, he burst into tears, and an officer passing him, judged him to be intoxicated, and drag- geanim to me ponce omce, the victim no more of the banks, but of a free banking shin-plaster currency. The Sailor and the Dandy. The New York Emigrant tells us a capital anecdote which we give below, i We confess that nothing pleases us better than to 6ee that mawkish class of beings dandies " used up." We have had oc casion heretofore, to handle them with out mittens we shall do it again. . We are opposed to dandyism alias puppyism principally because it de stroys the energies of the mind. It pros trates at the shrine ol self that noble and godlike gift. The intellect is the boon ol the Infinite One. He breathed it in to man, and this made him, in a lesser degree, like himself, Yet he who cen ters all his thoughts upon ruffles, and canes, whiskers, and cologne sacrile giously tramples it, virtually, beneath his feet. Such a merit brings the most intense scorn. It depends upon the ladies to produce a revolution upon this point. So long as they encourage fops, so long will they exist. Let them measure a man by the size of his mind. A Captain of one of ourNantucket wha lers an eccentric fellow, and rather of an uncouth figure, v isited one of our cities after a cruse of three vears, ning attended the Theatre. As a mat ter of course, such a rough dark com plexion old character, in a box with scv. eral fashionable ladies and gentlemen, at tracted some considerable attention, and created much merriment among the ex quisites. Several times every opera glass in the boxes were thrust at him until he, finally aware that he was the attraction of the evening, left the house, determin- ed that he would repay such impudence, with their own coin, on the following night. , Accordingly, on the succeeding evening, enveloping beneath his great coat the .'tip's spy glass, about two and1 a half feet in length ! started for the Theatre. As - soon almost as he entered the box, the opera glasses were in commotion. He waited until the play commenced, when, upon observ- mg a young gentleman, wan a cane un der his arm, and a glass at his eve pointed directly at him, he drew forth from his outer garment the spv-glass.and drawing it from the case the entire length, aimed it directly at the dandy. and continued to look until the house was in a continual uproar, and the fop with mortification left the box for the lobbies. A Quaint Sermon.- Mr. Dodd was a minister who lived many years ago few miles from Cambridge ; and having several times been preaching against drunkenness, some ot the Cam 11 II y I Driage scnoiars (conscience, wnicn is sharper than ten thousand witnesses, be ing their monitor,) were very much of- fendod, and thought he made reflections on them, some little time after.Mr. Dodd was walking towards Cambridge, and met some oi me gownsmen, wno .as soon as Ihey saw him at a distance,resol- ved to make some ridicule of him. As soon as he came up they accosted him with ." Your servant, sir I , He replied, xour servant gentlemen, l hey asked him if he had not been preaching very much against drunkenness of late r He answered in the affirmative. They then told him they had a, fevor to bee of him. aim u was uiai ne .would preacn.a set moh , to them there from a text ; they should choose. He argued that it was an imposition, for a man ought to have some consideration before preachinc. J ?. .1 L 1 . ' "i They said they Would not put up with a denial, and insisted upon his preaching immediately (in. a hollow tree by the road side,) lrom the word M.A.L.T. He then began, ". Beloved, let me crave ; your attention, I am a little man come at a short notice to. preach a short ser monfrom a short text-to a thin con-r gregation in an unworthy pulpit. ' Be- oved. my text is Malt. I cannot divide into sentences, there being none s nor into words, there being but .one ; I must therefore of necessity, divide it into let. ters, which I find in my text to be lhes four M. A. L. T.'.r,",., :,"r.;:tr:--9. M is Moral. ' ' ' A is Allegorical. I ' . ."'"t 5 L is Literal. " 1 ! f "T is Theological.1 " v - " The mOral, is to teach 'you rustic good manners i therefore M my Mas ters, A all of you, L Leave on, T Tipling. a. , . . :-r The allegorical is, when one thing is spoken of, and another meant.' The thing meant is the spirit of Malt, Which you rustics make, M your meat, A your ; apparel, L your liberty, Jand.T, your , trust. , , . 5 " The Literal isjaccording to the let-, ters, M Much, A Ale, L Little,' T Trust. ' '! ' '-:''' ; " The Theological is, according to the effects it woiks in some M; Murder in others, A : Adultery ; in all.L : Loose ness of Life ; and in many T: Treach ery,..;l.- . . , ., .. - " 1 shall conclude the subject, first, by exhortation. M : my Masters, A : All of you, L : Look for, T : the Truth, which is this A drunkard is the annoy ance of modesty ; the spoil of civility ; the destruction of reason ; tho robber! wive's sorrow; his children's trouble j his own shame ; his neighbor's scoff; 'a walking swill-bowl; the picture of a beast; the monster of a manl" A Highland Echo. In the course of last summer enmo atrnnrrrs nf Atalinn- tion were induced to visit a wild retreat in a distant part of the highlands, chief ly from the report they had heard of an echo, remarkable for the clear and distinct nature of its reverberation. , Oa reaching the spot from whence the trial of its powers is usually made, their guide put his hand to the side of his mouth, and bawled out with the lungs of a Stentor.a salutation in Gaelic, which was repeated with a precision that was beyond the expectation of the party. One of the gentlemen by the way of trying the strength of his voice, nut Ina hnnrl tn tlio cirto K!o mmitli In vtw ...u v viuv. VI IIIVUVIIp ill the same manner as the guide, and cal-1 led out, " How far are we from home 1" These words much to tho - surprise their conductor, were also repeated, when poor Donald, with a simplicity that brought a smile over the features of all present, observed, " You may think it strange, gentlemen.but this is the first time I ever heard our echo speak English." " I have no doubt," said the gentleman, " but it can repeat other lan guages if put to the test," and instantly hnn. .J . . I.' I. I" - l f uan cu iiiil istiiut: i' I r.i ii-.il. .imniKii xiriri ; . rv,.M...w.., wt.It Italian. Donald looked more bewilder ed than ever. " Wool, I must ay, that's very queer; my own father and my own selfhave known that echo for more than seventy years, and we never knew it to use no language but the Gaelic language before." " Your echo is more learned, then, than you supposed." said the gen tleman laughing, though at a loss wheth er to impute Donald's remarks to arch ness or simplicity. " You may say that but can you tell me,'sir, said the poo fellow with an expression of earnestness that appeared highly'amusing to those present, "as the echo has never been out of the country, where can she have not all her education ?" Laire of Ijogan. Novel Courtship. courted her under singular circumstances. I won her through a rash vow. Thus, I saw her; : 1 loved her ; 1 proposed ; she refused me. 'you love another r 'Spare my blushes.' Mknow him,' 'Do you.' 'Ve ry good, if he remain here, J'll skin him. Lord bless me I" exclaimed Mr. Pick wick involuntarily. ' Did you skin tho gentleman sir?' inquired Mr. Winkle with a very pale face. I wrote him a note. . I said it was a painful thing. And so it was.' 4 Certainly,' interposed Mr. Winkle. I said I had pledged mv word as a gentleman to skin him. My character was'at stake. ' I had no alter native. As an officer in his majesty' service, I was bound to do it. I regret ted the necessity, but it must be done. He was open to the conviction. He saw that the rules of the seryjee were imperative. He fled. I married her.- Picwick. ' A queer notion. An Irishman havl ing a looking glass in his hand, shut his 1 eyes' and placed it before his face an other asked him why he did so ? ;.i M Up on my soul, exclaimed he with an air of seriousness, " it is to see how I look when I'm asleep, jist." ' , " The Eastern Argus savs that a man can't begin to get into the best society in Middletown Ct. unless he Jias failed three times, and the last time for over $40,000. ' ' ; . A witty Auctioneer. -An auction' eer said of a gehtleman who had boughl a table, but never came to take it awar that he was one of the most un-come-for table persons he ever knew in the course of his life ! Scraps from the Eglantine. Bass once met a man pretty'1 well over-done by the too frequent . use of stimulating beverage. As he . came limping up street, pur joker asked him the cause. " The rheumatiz," responded the ether.' " Yes I see" said Bass The rum it it." VA profjssorsbip of Irish is about tot ' established in Trinity College, Du&ia. ' :