Newspaper Page Text
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CAIBO CITY BIKDEBY,
w ,B- JC AAA BO WW.
; poptjio-, -
BINDERS AND BLANK BOOK
BuUatln BnlMinar, do. Twolfth trao
. a,d WMhUtwt Avoaao, i
' Ovlzof Zlllzxola
rjpConty tad RaJlroadWark a Bveeleltv
ABE 10 NMVt4
tufftttr, vieUm n
frvWtad afttt, tbt
tint, bow they ratov
. . , end Bcalth,cbcrrul
tplritt, and good ap
ptH they will tl
mon't Liver Heg
lator. 'J Wl CHEAPEST, AMD BKbi KAAILV MKD
ICINa.M' 1HK WORLD.
For DTSPEI'SIA .CON8TIPATI)NHTud.t,
tlilou attack. SlOK Hr.AUALIlt, Colic, t
v'OMioa of spirits, SOUK STOAIACU, Ji art
Burn, tut. MO.
ihie unrivalled Southern Remedy la wr
rsDtl not to contain t-artioie of Mercury,
ui any iujurloiu substance, but U)
tvnteinlng Uiom southern roots and beibt which
an all wis Providence haa placed in eountrie
where Liver Diteeae prcv.il . It Will cure all
UlMuet caused by daiauemcnt 01 tbt LTW
To symptoms of Liver Complaint an a ibit
in or bad uulatlM month fain in th aaot
eidaa or joint, often mistaken lor rbaaina
u.iu aour etonaaeb, loeewt appetite. bowU
alternately coalive and las, Baadaebe. lott oi
iik mo rr with a painful acntalloa of having
aile-i i do aomalhing which ought to have
len don deuUity, low apiriu, a thick yel
low a.,warance of tbt skin and ey, a dry
txUKb ortea niialaaen for oooeuinatlon.
iaJmet many of theaa symptom atttnt
tha diwauw, at other vary few, but tha liver, ihe
largest oman in tha body, la centrally tha fat
of dueaae and if not regulated in tiiee. Kruat
sabring, wretchedness and DKAl U Will en
I san recommend at an efflcadont remedy for
dieweee ot the Liver, Heartburn and Drapeptia,
MiminoM' Liver IteKOlalor. Lawit WuDe.
1?m Manicr street, Atelatant foauuaatcr, Pnil-
"We have teeted ila virtues, personally, aid
now that for trjepeptl., biliouanwie a'i'l
ikrobutng Ueadaebe it u tlie bent medium la
world ever aaw, W bava tried forty other
rr medio before Simmon' Liver kclruUU'r,
but none of tham gave u more thin tempor try
relief, but the Kegulator not tnly roller d
but cured u."-Ed. 1 IxaoiAT" AD Uus"
taa, Macon, Ga.
Nothlag ta to aapMaaant, BothiaR to eomraon
a bad breath, and ia nearly tvry cata it come
froni the stomach, and can be ao eaaily eorrejt
d If you will take bimmona' Liver liegulatur,
Do not neglect to aure a remedy for Uua ro
puUlv disorder. It will alaj improve voor
AiptlM, coinplezion, and Ocneral ileal lb.
Thia dlatrattlng affliction oecnra moat fre
quently. 'Jhe disturbanc of the atoratCi,
arumK from luperfecUr digealcd ontca,
caoeea a aever pain ia tha bead, accompanied
with diaarreeJ4 nauaea, and tfala coosiua
what ia pupiiJaily known aa hick lieadacbo. f or
TAKE SIMMONS' LIVER
REGULATOR, OR MED
ICINE. Contain four medical lmeata, avr
luund in tlie auua happy proportion in aiy
oiaei preparation, vi: a genua Cathartic, a
powerrol tonic, n nnexoepurnaMe aiu-railve
nod a oerula Cvrreetivc olall impart tie oi
the body, bnchtigual anoea hat attrnded lu
u tat It ia now regarded aa lh
a Kernedy in
MILAM0U.3 FEVKtt.1, BOA EL COM
1'LALSn, DYSFKfolA, MENTAL Oll'Uan.
mc.S,llK-iiLi.l58NS.-i, JACN01CK. NAU
HE . iCK HEAUAtJHJS, UJ'JC, CONSllf
AXIOS and HI -ilOL'H.NEaS
IT ilail .NO EQCAL.
ArmedwitbtbiaANTIDOTE.au ehangea of
llinat aad water and too may h faced with
out tear. Aa a Hemcly in MALABIOIM
rKVKS, HOVtL CoMPLAl.NXij, JtbbT
J.ErlH.NEiS, JAUN'OICK, .NAUSEA,
MAHlTidLlliD OXLT BT
4. il. ZKILKX,
rricefl.oo. Sold by all Druxk-ilU.
. F. Eunkel' Bitter Wine of Iron
Tfce greit u MM I and delight of tha people,
ia tact uoitiiog of tna kind ai ever been offem 1
to tbt Amvicta people which bat to quickly
uaod m idU Uelr goo-t favor and hearty
auprjval at L K. Kankai'a liltter Wine of Iron.
it Joa ail It propoie, and tha give anlera
tlf action, it it guarantaed to cur the war it
cate ofdyipepiia or indigattioa, kidney of
liver diM, Wjatnet, nervotuaeM. csnvtipa
aion, ariiity of the aiouuch, Ac. Oct tnegun
uioe. Only aold in tl bottle. Depot and of-fV-e,
'J.Sortn Ninth ttreM. Pniladeiphia. A
hit K.unkel't aadtak no other. Sold by all !rug
Dyspepsia. Dyspepsia. Dyspepsia.
K. P. Kunk!' Bitter W lac of Iron it a ture cart
for thia disease, it hat been prescribed daily for
many year ia the practice of eminent phyiicUni
w.ih unparalleled luoteM. Sympiorai ar lost sf
appetite, wind and rising of food, dryoe in mouth,
bcadaohe, diuiaen, lecpleaaeu aad low iplritl. .
(ct the genuine.' Not told ia bulk, only in Si bot
tle: Sold by all drugzliu. Ask for K. F . Kun
ktl't Bitter Win of iron and uk ao other. SI
per bottle, or in battle for $.r. All 1 ak i a trial
ofthi valuable m?dicitte. A trial will conn no
you at enoe.
Worms, Worms, Worms. ,
K. r, Dimkel' Worm Syrup never fail t
rrnwv all kinds of Worm, rieati pin and
uiom Worm are readily removed by Hun
ker Worm tirrup. ir. KunkH ia the only
iiitxxssful pbiiioian In thU country that can
rumoT Tape worm In from two to bar hour,
lie h ia ao fee until head ana all paste alive aad
tn tbi ipaoe ot time. Common tense teaches
if Tape Worm can be removed, all other Worm
can readily be removed. Atk your druggist for
a bottle ol Kunkel't Worm avrup, Prioc tl.uO
iter bottl. it never fail or send to tha dotr
fnrtirvular. No. 26i .Norta Ninth hi., Phild ti
bia. Advlct free.
II Bitplanaor ltiaerr. ttiat It l!i
Dr. W. E. lloyt of 25 years successml
liractlce iruaiantee gpeeuy and permait
cnt cure ot all Chronic, Scrofulaus, Pri
vate, Syphlletlo and Fomala Diseases,
Spermatcrrhuea, or selt-abuso, at bis
Medical institute, Agan & Cheney Blook,
opposite the City Hall Park, Syracuse,
N. Y. Medicine sent to all parts ot tne
U. S. and Canada. Don't be deceived by
advertising quicks who throng our large
cities, but consult Dr. Hoyt or send for
circular treating on hit specialities to his
I. 0. Box 276. '
Lames. My tfrcal liquid French
remedy, Amle Do Femme, or Female
Friend, is unfailing In the cure of all
painful and dangerous diseases ot your
xex. It moderates all excesses, and
brings on the monthly penod with regu
larity. In all nervous and spinal afloo
tions, pains In the back or limbs, heavi
ness, tatlgue on slight exertion, pal pita
tlon ot the heart, lownest of spirit, hy
gienes, sick headache, whites, and alt
painful diseases occasioned by s disorder
ed system U effects a cure when all other
means tail. Price $3.00 per bottle, sent
by mall. Dr. W. E. Hoyt,. Box 278,
Syracuse, N. Y.
By vlrtn of two fat bill ta ma directed, by
the clerk of tht supreme ooart temhern grand
division at Mount Vernon, in tha ttat of II 11
noit. in favor of John 0, Abreght all. and
against Jaton B. Smith et ala., I hart levied,
upon tha following deanrlbed property, to-wit i
lit fourteen (M) In block tlevtn (11) lota twen.
ty-tl V), twenty-sevta (17) and tweniy
tight (M). In block venty-two (7) Ion thirty
on and- thirty-two (3S), to block iwoaty-ala
I'io). All tht above detcrlbad property it situ
ated to tuaaity of Cairo, county of Alexander,
...I .t.ia nt tfiinni. whlrh I ahall offer for tale
at publio vendue at tha front, or weat door of
ih nonrtboust, In tht city of Cairo, eomty, of
AMtxtaaar and auta or iiunots, a ine ei uj
of Ft knurr. l7g. at 10 a'cloak a-m. liatti
thia Calro.liL, lath day nl Jannary.A.P. m,
.mavauw,tiw7rm .p sh4rlft
.-ai --' l ,.,.
. VOL. 10
: "ri "
Dwiela not thou unall thing I
Tneaoul that loim for wlnu
To toar toximeamd height of saeTUlce, ton ofl
rorgeia uie uauy runno.
A od abakea off UlUe duties while alia look alofl.
' Ood bat net om below,
Who inuat tiialr all foratfo.
And at bl bidding givelbelr loved, tbelr btatt,
10 lot oiaume, iiat mm,
la ainall tiiinn to nutn.
Yet Ifthougiv alUuaUUit, then tboo,too, art blast
he willing day by day '
To give uu IIltlHouuifMrtat (M'tcaul;
To yiam np cnaariuiiy,
When lie ahall crave thy dearest and thine aU.
i nn, iuuu uwj a. nwij uai
Earth I onr little bland horn.
And liotiTen Ui neighboring oanUnaut,
And tnderet whisper tliene) w bear,
t rmu ihiiai. who lately aailed acruaa :
They love u aiill i aiuce haavan la near,
, Death la not lot.
roia Blonntaln aloeia of brfand balm,
WLat nieuxllea arreit th ear i
Mt'lial uenioneerlpiiletiirouab thaealtnl
We'll keep near abore,
tui: COMIC side or LIFE.
Laughter is the language of merri
ment the speech of - humor the elo
quence of fun. Without it wit becomes
cold and pulseless, and social chat lows
its attractiveness aud life. It infuses a
spirit of cheerfulnecs into whatever cir
cle of society it reaches. " It is endemic,
cpidc-imi-, ntid ppnrndic, and all are
sure to catch it who come within its
reach." A good laugher is a welcome
gutl at every gathering, unless it be a
funeral ; and even at such a gathering
he hi not to be excluded, because pathos
and humor are so closely allied tne lat
ter, it is said, secretes tears. We know
that Hood, the king of humorists, wrote
" The Bridge of tighs," and that the
words of that poem sound like "the
dropping of teaw from the eaves of the
eyelids." A pleasant wag who laughs
with everybody, and who laughs at ev
erything which is ridiculous, can be a
useful man in his neighborhood. He
will be considered the " caustic burveyor
of events," the critic of society, who
weighs and mcsumros our words and ac
tions. He laughs at the Grecian bend,
and the echo of his mirth reaches the
cars of those who " stoop to conquer ;"
and alter his laughter comes the lemon
of " bend over tho waah-tub " and " bend
over the cradle," but not upon Broad
way. "He recasts, restatm. renirbuh-
es, and recirculates the old pieces of wit,"
as men in the mint change panih dol
lars and rrench Irunc into American
When you meet nub a man in the
arena of discussion it is folly to argue
with him. Yoo can not put down a
pun by the use of the mot profound
philosophy. Argument will not answer
a joke. If you open your mouth to rea
son the case you may find yourself in the
position of Munchausen's Hon, width
swallowed the ass and found itself in the
harness dragging the chariot. You muft
put him down with the logic of laughter,
or suffer defeat. If he iiuns, pun back.
If he jokes, joke back. If he dimples
th; town with laughter nt your expense,
join with the Iaugiiers and show that
you can appreciate a good thing. Lord
Chatham AhLed ilenmker to define wit
" Wit," replied the wag, " is like a pen-
sion bestowed by your Lordship upon
your humble servant a good thing well
applied. V hen a man becomes angry
at a joke circulated at his expense, he is
like the eagle which stole the meat from
the ultar ot the gods, and burned the
ntt with the brand which accompanied
the .sacrifice. If ho flames out an in
dignant rejoinder hw hot thought con
sumes his wlf-control, and he will make
hiincclf contemptible because somebody
dfc has mado him ridiculous.
When a was flashes his wit in your
fucc, dip the torch of your wit into the
run ot your genius, il you have no
genius, into the light of omc other per
son's sun, and light up the firmament of
fun at his cost, or join with the multi
tude "In showing tocth wifheut biting."
You must, however, always keep truth
and justice on your side. Truth and
justice have a cuiras impenetrable
that tho arrows of wit and humor rattle
about them as harmlewly as hail on the
helmets of the gods. Jt is impossible to
laugh truth into a lie, or to cxtinguifh
justice by ridicule culminating in roars
of laughter. Dr. Bothune, the poet and
preacher, and a man of weight in every
sense of tho word, on being introduced
to a tall, thin minister of the " Baptist
persuasion, - remarked, "bhrunk after
the wetting, I see This specimen of
genuine humor, with just enough wit in
it to make it "sparkle like salt in fire,"
could not fail to provoke a smile. Had
it kindled "anger, the shrinking of the
body would have been followed by tho
shriveling of the soul.
A New York Bohemian, speaking of
the price of meat, said that " beef was
never so high since the cow jumped over
the moon." Now this is pure humor,
and the author of it laughs with every
body, and he laughs at nobody. 1 shall
not attempt the difficult task of defining
wit and humor. Hwlitt says : " Dr.
Fuller's remark, that the negro is the
image of. God eut in ebony, is hu
mor: and that Horace Smith's inver
sion of it, that the task -master is
the image of the devil cut in ivory, is
wit." Wit and humor are as closely re
lated as the Siamese twins, and like that
couple they go together, and it require
a aharp blade to separate them. . Fun is
a fine art, and ho who-is master of it will
know how to stop short of that line which
separates it from the absurd and ridiculous.
Wit is crank, scornful, analytical, , It
inaksa invidious contrasts, tosses analogies
in yonr teeth, ipoHs no good stories tor
relation av sa$a, n imou a reauerea
iSi'V" 'A- i ttfi , ' '
OOca, JBUtiTV SvkUd.lzr, Oomai Twtlft. Staawt tuad
CAIROIIJilNOIS, SUNDAY. FEBRUARY 17. 1878.
hail before you can lift a shield, and is ,f
sure to hit a tonder pot If a man l0UieV
as invulnerable as Achilles, whose
annf Wna in Vila it wnnlrl K .
wound him nnlces he wore thick boots,
which, unlike his line, should be water
proof. Americans do not laugh enough.
Ve scarcely rcognize the comic side of life.
Artcmiu "the delicious," as the author
of "Griffith (jaunt" calls him, shook onr
aides with laughter, and a few others did
so all of them, however, can be counted
on the fingers of two hands. These
jokers liave'ruade us laugh a little when
out (if the range- of the roars of bulls and
bear iu Wall Street; but we, u a people,
have foiled to sustain first-class comic jour
nals. The humor of Lowell and Uulwes
and the wit of Saxe are appreciated by
a few the choice few because the aroma
of their poetry gives a pleasant odor to ;
lata merriment. lirUi loJJows us in
the street, and overtakes us at our occu
paiions; it tickles the rib of sleep, even,
Why, then, do we not respond to her ex
hibitions of cheerfulness? Because we
are in haste to nail a bargain or. fasten a
contract. Because we want to U the
money market so many are " teetering"
on the beam of speculation. Now gold
goes up, and they go down. Now stock
goes down, and they go tip. Thus they
'te:ter" day after day, and when they
truiuble headlong in the crowd, they can
uot see where the joke comes in. Becchcr
says that the creed of most men ia: "The
chief end of man is to glorify gold. Life
is the time afforded by Heaven to man
to get rich in, death the termination of
a great speculation, heaven a place where
the streets arc paved with gold, and hell
a place where shiftless men are punished
with evcrhthting poverty." As we grow
older and more opulent," we shall have
more leisure and more time for laughing.
As it is, there are multitudes who find
time to laugh, and they find that " laughter
doeth good like a medicine." We see in
the lowest phases of mirth little to laugh
at ; it crops out in puns and sudden turns
of language, and is to the genuine article
what tinsel is to gold we Biuile at it
once, and then forget it.
Puns are the erysipelas of speech.
Four puns out of five are failures.
Holmes says no young man or woman
should indulge the habit of coining puns,
for it debases the currency of language.
"A punster is like a boy who puts pennies
on tho railroad track he may upset a
whole freight train of conversation in his
efforts to flatten a witticism." Hood said,
"If I were juwbhed for every pvn I shed,
I should not have & puny shed in which
to hide my punished head." The highest,
purest, and most perfect specimens of wit
ring like the music of golden eagles when
dropped on marble. A good pun must
have three qualities a body of speech,
a soul of thought, and heart of acnti
nient. Words without thought or feeling
arc of dead letters. The head and the
heart must put thought and feeling into
the syllables before they can inspire
Tlie manager of a theatre in St. Louis
offered a silver cup to the man who
would make the best conundrum. This
won the prize: "Why is the man who
presents this cup like a liquor-seller?
Because he presents the cvp which brings
many to theiV, while those above are in
tier$." Here is another: l'Parva$cin
tilla magnum iynern incitct," said a wag,
pointing to a small man who was court
ing a large woman. He said in plain
English, a little tpark kindles a great
flame. Fun is volatile, and assumes all
phases and postures pinching you with
quotations, coruscating in conundrums,
laughing at you from behind the mask of
metaphor, shooting its Attie arrows who
you have no fortress to fly to. An En
glish bishop said, " If the devil should
lose his tail, he could get another where
bad spirits are retailed." ' -
Wit is artificial; humor is natural.
Wit illustrates bv uncomplimentary com
parisons; humor is careful not to give of-
"Have you seen my descent into hell t"
inquired an author, a great bore, who' had
written a dook wiin a ncry uue.
"No," replied Douglas Jerrold, "but I
should like to."
"Do you see any thing ridiculous in my
wig?" inquired a judge of Curran.
t "Nothing but the head," was the reply-
Thcse aro specimens of real wit wit
snarn as a Damascus blade. Some one,
speaking of Holmes, said: .
" A (Toctorhla profeaalon mns Into th ground.
And soma of bis patient tlcep uoiler the mound,
Yet hi wit could awaken tbelr risible oougii,
Though their tplrlt had gon whara the ITotoo't
A Vcrmonter on Mr. Evarts.
At the great meeting held in Cooper
Institute in October last, to sustain the
administration of President Hayes, at
which it had been announced that Mr.
Evarts would bo present, a gentleman
from Vermont, who .had never seen the
secretary of state, but had a desire to do
so, said to tho person seated next to him,
" Is Mr. Evarts on the platform? "
" No ; he has not yet arrived. "
" He's expected ? fi
" Oh yes ; he'll be along presently. "
" I've never seen Mr. Evarts, though
I ve heard a great deal ot him.
got a farm up to Windsor, in our State."
"Well, when he comes in I'll tell
you. The' boys generally give him a
cheer when ' he . comes on the stage,
Ah, here he comes!"
" Well, I declare 1 " exclaimed tha .
Vcrmonter. - "Why, ho bok at though
h boarded !' " ' '
! TW;. mm r-haWln MaiM -
than any othrui State ia the Uniun. .... i
TIT FOIt TAT.
" t.- "
Coantry tklitjr. and the
hUTCh Festival JDcad-liettt.
. lie was the manager of a church fair,
and one morning he walked into tlie
newspaper office and said :
" Want an item this morning?"
"Of course," replied the editor. Where
upon the visitor laid the following note
upon tho tabic :
'The ladies of the Street church will
give a festival at their vestry hall ' next
Friday evening. Literary and musical
entertainments will be provided, and a
supper will be served to all who desire.
The ladies in chargo of the afair have
much experience in such matters and are
mire to provide a good time, The admins-
wn will be only fifteen enU, and it is
ceruim uiat uo one cnu -sijcuu uiui amuuni
to better advantage. Bonmre to go and
take your friend." - -When
the editor had read it, he said :
"Ob, I see, an advertisement."-
"No, not an advertisement. We pre
fer to have it go in the local column,"
replied the manager.
And seeing, that the editor looked skep
tical, he continued
"It will interest a great many of your
readers, and help a good cause ; beside,
we have spent so much money getting up
our entertainment that we can't afford to
advertise it without increasing the price
of the tickets. In such a matter as this
we ought to be willing to help each
"Well," said the editor, "if it goes in
to the locals, a suppose you would recip
rocate by reading a little notice in your
own church next Sunday."
The visiting brother asked what notice,
and the editor wrote and handed him the
"The' Weekly Clironick for the com
ing year will be the best and cheapest
family paper in Maine. Its proprietor
has had much experience and has all tho
help which a large outlay of money can
procure. His paper has a larger circulv
tion than any other published in the coun
try, and is to be furnished at only $2. It
is certain that no one can spend that
amount to a better advantage. Be sure
to take The Chronicle and subscribe for
The manager hemmed and hesitated,
and then said, solemnly, that he doubted
whether it would be judicious -to read
such a notice, but suggested that if it was
printed, copies of it might be distributed
at the door of the vestry on the evening
of the entertainment.
"Yes," said the editor, "but it would
attract more attention in the middle of a
sermon. It will interest a large number
of your congregation and help a good
causa ; and oesides, so much money is
spent upon Tlie CliTonkh that I don't
see how the owner can afford to print
handbills to advertise it without increas
ing the subscription price. In such a
matter as this we ought to be willing to
help each other."
Then the gentlemen saw the situation.
A new color in artificial flowers is
Pluih is used for Collars und cuS's of
Ribbons with fringed edges are coming
- Camel's hair woolen socks are shown
Satin ribbon is very fashionable for
In spite of all that in said against high
heels, they are still worn. . ,
Rings of milk-white agate are imported
among Chinese novelties.
Cock's plumes and cock's feather ruches
ore favorite trimmings for felt hats.
The fashion of wa xiats seems to gain
more and more favor with the ladies, T
Fine silver ornaments, set with rubies
and malachite, are coming in fashion.
Bonnets are more fashionable, than hats
for young ladies as well as for matrons.
Black silk and black velvet continues
to be the favorite combination costume
of American women.
A new lace for flannel skirts is knitted
in a varioty of patterns of Saxony yarn
the color of the skirt.
Moonlight pearl beads and variegated
pearl beads take the place of moonlight
jet for evening toilet
Four or five bows are used on each
slipper, fastened high on the instep by
means of elastic straps.
Light cashmeres in evening colors are
combined with gros grain silks of the
same shade for the evening.)
Uncut figured velvet having a white
ground with the figures in colored de
signs, is exquisite for ladies' wear. ? -
TuE emigrating instinct of John
Chinaman, suppressed so long and dcvel-
oped recently. with such remarkable force,
! has at last found a welcome response.
i Kicked, cuffed and despised, both in Cali
fornia and Australia, the Chinese are
welcomed in Peru. There are now 70
000 of them in that country, and the Gov
ernment have engaged steamers to bring
more.' They intermarry, it is said, with
the lower classes of whites, and are ac
1 corded the full right of citizenship. .Tho
two races agree and get along comfortably.
The farmers of York county PennsyU
vania am raisin it saffron, an herb they
tell to the dmg itorw at remunerative
yX t, )ir - v
There are no national banks in Mirrv
A Utah man sold thirty thousand head
of cattle last year.
: Counterfeit Mexican dollars ore in cir
culation in Indiana.
Council Bluffs' improvements for 1877
amounted to $195,010.
A bunk with a capital of $150,000 is
a'xmt to be opened at Fargo, Dakota
' Money is lying now in Philadelphia in
vaults, begging for employment at 3 or 4
The great bulk of the cotum crop is
how grown by white labor, and upon
Kentucky talks of udoptuig die " Moffett
punch," with a tax on " drinks " after the
manner of Virginia;
Bowman McEwan is planting upon his
farm in Renville county, Minnesota, twelve
thousand cotton-wood tree-.
The Father De Sinet, Golden Gate,
Belcher, and Justice mines, of Deodwood,
have been sold lor 1400,000.
The New York wholesale dealers in
butter have orgHiiizisl to put down tho
traffic in oleomargarine, or "bull butter."
During the year 1877, 43,260 paupers
in Indiana were cared for at the expense
of the various counties of the state, at a
The best Migar works :it Itdeton, Cal.,
1 are said to be working night and day,
and using about seventy tons of beets in
The American publio use in paper
collars eight tons of paper daily, and over
eight million five hundred thousand yards
of muslin annually.
A little over $20,000 was disbursed
among the soldiers at the Walla Walla
garrison a few days ago. It was their
first pay since List July.
Lynn is said to be losing its trade in
boots and shoes, which used to bo almost
a monopoly. Western manufacturers are
getting a large share of tlie business. .
The vineyardists of southern California
are discouraged, and many are proposing
to cut up their vines, because they tan
only realize $5 a ton for their grapes.
The exports from New Haven last year
were $7,590,300, against $3,049,400 in
1876; but the increase is accounted for
mainly by the number of valuable cargoes
of arms and munitions of war sent to
In 1850 Minnesota contained but
5,000 souls and had but 1,900 acres of
under cultivation. In 1877 it contained
750,000 souls and nearly 3,000,000 .acres
under cultivation, of which nearly 2,000,
000 were in wheat.
An intelligent traveller for one of the
largest business houses in Galveston,
asserts that tlie country merchants and
people generally, in the interior of Texas,
are in a better financial condition the
present season than for several years past.
The Chaplain's Story
Tlie Reverend had been uu army chap
lain during the war, and while we were
hunting for a road that would lead to
Hamilton, he told a story about two dy
ing soldiers which interested me in spite
of mr feet Ho said that, in tho Poto
mac hospitals rough pine coffins were fur
nished by the government, but that it
was not always possible to keep up with
the demand; so, when a man died, if
there was no coffin at hand he was bur
ried without one. . . One night late, two
soldiers lay dying in a, ward. A man
came in with a coffin on his shoulder,
and stood trying to make up his mind
which of these two poor fellows would
be likely to need it first. Both of them
begged for it with their fading ey
they were past talking. Then one of
them protruded a wasted hand from his
blankets and made a feeble beckoning
sign with the fingers, " Be a good Mow ;
Sut it under my bed, please. The man
id it, and left. The lucky soldier pain,
fully turned himself in his bed until he
faced the other warrior, raised himself
partly on bis elbow, and began to work
np a mysterious expression of some kind
in his face. . Gradually, ; irksomely, but
surely and steadily, it 'developed, and at
lost it took definite .form as a pretty suc
cessful wink. Tho sufferer fell back cjr
haustcd with his labor, but bathed in glt
ry. Now entered a personal friend 01
No. 2, the despoiled Bolaicr. No. 2 pleaded
with him with . eloquent eyes, till pres
ently he understood, nd 1 removed the
coffin from under No. I'i bed and put it
under No. 2's. ' No. 2 indicated his joy,
and made some moro signs ; the Iricno
understood again, and put his arm arounc
n. , 11. .1.
ivm a atu mniu waa )-
trWli. and this timo ho slowlv butt
...... . a a, a
The picture sticks by ni yet. The '-' U-
uation " is unique.rJiir& Twam
r- .. . . ! .,.- , ..,
The CTrutiati , IrorM, of London, tayt
i that vrresbytcwM iu England, with
few exceptions, , favor a revision of tht
jno. 21 snouiaer ami imea nun paruy --- - - --. ,. onftnn( .
.p.t Then the dying hero turned the Tr
dun exultation of hlaeye upon No. l,.nd bemg about 60 pounds for every one of
began a slow and labored work wife his j the popula ion. Raw sugary when im
hands: gradually he lifted one hand up ported, contains from 2 to 3 per cent, of
tow J WfJ, it grew weak 1 .111 f purities, As much as three tons of
dropped back again ; onw more h madt have been found in a sindt cargo,
the effort, but tailed again ,ne took a t According to exrnnicnta made by Dr.
.11 aCmv.ant. ftf hi E Cameron of Dublin and Dr. Uassell of
guroly earned his thumb, to the sido ot - . uB..
fcisnoee, spread his guant fingers wide : A case . waa : ktely before the Circuit
t- t,mni: anrl . rlmnr-J . tapir . at. oil. .. Court, GlaSEOW, which sllOWftd that aT-
aUS 'W wviarwvt. arerava; wB . a r
A Mule's Wonderful Trickery.
u Speaking about mules," remarked a
sixfboter in Arkansas, as he cracked his
whip at market, "I've got a mule at
home which knows as much as I do, and
I want to hear somebody say I'm half a
fool." No one said so, and he went on.
" I've stood around here and heard men
blow about kicking mules till I've got
disgusTed. When you comes down to
kicking, I want to bet on my mule. A
friend caraa along ami took dinner with
me the other day, and as he teemed a
little down-hearted, I took him out to see
Thomas Jefferson, my champion mule.
. I was telling tho good man how that
niulo would flop his feet around, and lie
said he would like to see a little fun.
He'd paused his whole life in tho South,
but had never teen a mule lay his whole
; soul into a big time at kicking. " Well,"
' he said, after borrowing tomo tobacco,
" 1 took i nomas out of the stable,
backed him np agin a hill, gin him a
cuff on the car, and wo stood by to see
the amusement. It was a good place to
i kick his durndest, and what d'ye s'pose
be aid f In ten minutes by the watch
he was out of sight. . In five mora we
couldn't feel him with a twelve foot pole,
and and " the crowd began to yell and
sneer, and tho narrator looked around
and asked : " Does anybody think I'm
lying? Would I lie for ono mnlo?
Right here under my arm is a pound of
tallow candles which are to light the hole
j for to go in after Thomas ; and I got
word not an hour ago that the hind icct
of a mule were sticking out of a hill
thirty-nine miles as the bird flies from
where my mule went in. I'm shaky on
religion, gentlemen, but our family never
had a liar iu it."
Evils of Gosbip.
We have known a country society
which withered away to nothing under
the dry rot of gossip, Friendships once
as firm as granite, dissolved to jelly, and
then ran away to water, only because of
this; love that promised a future as en
during as heaven and as stable as truth,
evaporated into a morning mist that
turned to a day's long tears, only because
of this: a father and son were Bet foot to
foot with the fiery breath of anger that
would never cool again between them ;
and a husband and bis young wife, each
straining at the heated leash, which in the
beciuiue had been the golden bondage of
a God-blessed love, sat mournfully by the
grave where all their love and all their joy
lay buried, and all because of this. I have
seen faith transformed to mean doubt, joy
give place to grim despair, and charity
take on itself the features of black male
volence, because of the small words of
Scandal, and tha magio UlUtteringa (if
gossip. Great crimes work wrongs and
deeper tragedies of human life spring
from the larger passions; but woeful and
most mournful are the nncatalogucd
tragedies that isuo from gossip and de
traction; most mournful tho shipwreck
often made of noble natures and lovely
lives by the bitter winds and dead salt
waters of slander. 80 easy to say, yet so
hard to disprove throwing on the inno
cent all the burden and the strain of dem
onstrating their innocence, and punishing
them as guilty if unable to pluck out the
stingB they cannot see, and to silence word9
they never hear gossip and slander are
the deadliest and crudest weapons man
bos ever forged for his brother s heart.
A discharge under the insolvent laws
of one State will not discharge the insol
vent from a contract made with a citizen
of another State.
Common carriers ore not liable for ac
cidents or detentions arising from the vis
major, which human power and forecast
could not provide against.
When A consigns goods to B to sell
on commiisbion, and B delivers them to C
in payment of his own antecedent debts,
A can recover their value.
At an auction or sheriff's sale s bidder
may retract his bid at any time before
the property ia knocked down to him,
no matter what tho condition of tho
Permanent erections andfixtures, made
by a mortgagor' after the execution of
tho mortgago upon the land conveyed by
it, becomes apart of the mortgaged prem
ises, '.' ' , ., , .
An agreement from the holder of a note
to give uie principal debtor tune for pay
ment without depriving himself of the
right to eue does not uncharge tho surety.
Under the rule eaveat emptor a teller
of goods, chattels or other property, com
mits no fraud in law when ho neglects to
tell the purchaser of any flaws, defects or
nnaxiuttdness in the same.
i tna amount 01 sucur annua uv ooo-
m, . a . 1, '
T 1 Vrt Ann .
I0"1, ".'"ny 100,000 mite' are
tenia was mixed witu sugar. A captain
was cliargcd with causing tho death of
several seamen by serving 'out putrid
V a a a .a
-pojj,.- them, .but, on. the sugar being
., suaipcu py at. luaciagau oi ainuurgn,
.WJP uflicicnt arsenic
, to cause death. This sugar was supplied
rata rmin rl it ok Minrl aP Man am i-wnaj ,
A aaw and watauUrtivt l-i . .
waaaing.. Waaiaai Us uattt', banar kin
soap for washing anything i waeM ta .
third of tha Umt t waabaa la fear 4 M toft,
hoi or eottt water; tho only pTparatlo
ver lnvtoud thai will prtvent woolana
frtm ihrlnking; worth four Unci lu brlea
for washing woolens bJom, .
Mm. Henry Ward Beechsr
roeomnuods It to all kotutkttptr, asm
"They will rtjotea) both tar teononry't takt)
aad tita taftty 01 taalr clothing, tod thai it
eaa no mora injure clothing ay kinds tot
common warm water." .
. BEABCmT A JOflHSOH,
11 PUtt Stmt, Maw Tork.
r7"JBartlay Bros, will supply trado la
The ordinary Poront Plaster, on eeeount
if iu peculiar mechanical action, U esteem
id ao article ol merit; but Benson's Capdno
P trout Platter It considered an artlcla of
extraordinary merit. It hat tht tamt
mechanical action, and, la addition, poe
tesses medicinal qualities ol remarkable
tature, which causes it to act at onct,
rttleye pain Immediately, and euro when
other Porous Plaatort will not tvtn rtlltvo
For Rheumatism, Lame aa Weak Back, Spina
Disease, Crick ia the Hack, Kidney Olseaav,
9praina and Bruises, Severa fains aad Butch
11 1 -. . n . ij - ...
IV eakna of the Hack, etc
Th manufacturer of
Benson's Capoine Plaster
Beoeived the Highest Medal at the Centennial.
It It now the standard remedy. Its aa.
tonishlng pain relieving and strengthening
qualities attracted the attention 01 tbt Cen
tennial Jurroriand thousands of physician
who vUttadtha Centennial, who pronounc
ed it tbt bttt remedy ever invented for too
iSova ailment, gold py all Pmgglsta.
Prico.2octntt. . V
US' Barclay Bros, will supnlv the trado
l In Cairo,
City National Bank
W. P. HALLTDAF, President.
HEMUY L. HAIAlbAT, VioeFnal.
A. B. rUrfORD, Cashier.
WAlTIii maibV, Ata'tCMhian.1
. Staatc Tatlob, ;B. B. CtKwrxanA,
H. L. ILtlAfDAT. W. P..Halldat.
U, D. WiuxaJttoN, STaraaN Bian,
A. O, BAITOHD,
Exchange, Coin and United States
Bonds Bought and 8 I'd.
DEPOSITS received and a general banking
OHcVHTCACD MA.R0H XI, IS t
CITY NATIONAL BANE, C AIBO
A. B. SArPORD. Prenlilent.
B. I. TAYLOR, Ttoa President.
- W, HYBLOf , Seo'y aad Xrasaiaaar.
r.w.BaaeLAV, Crua. OtLiaaaa,
Y. M. Stocijtj rn , Fact, O. Bcatm
li. H. CtntmjitinAja. 9.. L. ELtLupax,
i. kl. PmutPt.
IKTKKKST paid on deposits at the rata of aU
percent, per annum, kiarehlstand Septesa
Mr let. Internet not withdrawn is added 1mm
Lately to th principal of the deposits, tbarabf
rlTtnv tfc.ni --...-i-wi uttereM.
Married Women and Children may
Peposit Money and no one
else can draw it.
Opeatvery buaineatday from 9a.m. to! p.m.
1 Saturday evenings for savings deposit, only
roots tot o'clock.
W. HTSX.OP, TtWtTaMf.
r. Bota. President. H. Wells, Gashiet.
P. NeiT. Vice Prae'L T. i. Keith. Asst. Ceth'r
Gn-nar Ooaunarclal At, aad Bth Bttoo
; DIRECTORS, '
P. Bros, Cairo. Wm Xing, Cairo.
I' KIT llairn. Wn WhL l',ix
A. fcnaanka, Cairo. R. h. BUlingtly, Ot, LtataJ
a,. Duiier, mini. n. nana, Cairo. ,
f.U. lirlnkman, st Loul.
J. T. Cleruaon, Caledonia.
A eeateiavl Banattna; Baalneaa Boat
KJ-Exchanir told and bongbl. lattMOt pa
nd all bualaes uronmtlv attended to.
n uim navinira iinrtniiiMiK. i:n iMttmna
WHOLESALE AMI) EITAIL.' '
Ooods Sold Very OlM0w j
Corner 19th otroot an fTtinmotol Wo
OATJttO, XxaUNOia. ; ; '
C. O. PATIER & CO
AU tuff erert from thU dltttto
xlontt o bo eurod thould try Dr. Kb
ners voieDratoa vontumpiivo rowatr
Theto powder art tht only preparatio
known that will euro Coot um prion aad o
ditoatet of tho throat and ntofti Udttt
to ttrong It our faith la tham, and alto
eonvinoa you that thty art ao huotbag,
will forward to ovtry tuflertr, by av
pottptid, a frto trial box. I
V? don't want your mosty on UI yotjr
porftctly wttaflod ot aholrountivo powt
If yon lift la worth taviof , deaf 4tby
giving tbttt rowdart a total, at they V
aurely euro yoo. . ,-' 'v s. . ;
Jot, f or largo DOX. tl ttoS It aww r
r the ftalttd Stataa or Canada kr
moiptof prlto. iAduwta, , .i v . v