Newspaper Page Text
: r- w m.x i
FCBUSH-D BT " ( TERM:
BARNS & FOSIIA. "independent- $100 'PER ANNUM
WA9HlaTO BTRKIT. ) ' ( ' ADVA sc..
VOLUME I. OPt-AJSTD KL-VElSr, MICH., WEDNESDAY, M-AJFIOH: 30, 1859. XTTJISBEH, 14.
i ri MncA ttur wtrtDir at
Ciraad Haven, Ottawa Co., Hirhigaa.
Offi o, a ATUiojlon S Ireet,
JSffJm Utrtt eWe, jifHil tk Pvt. Ojf!(.H
Bates of Advertising.
6iu fin lliu
Twelve) line or lee (Minion male 1 pjr.
Bailnea Cm Ii, tot exceeding ix hue. 13,00
AdTertietueutJ unaccompanied with written
or Terbal direction, will be puhlih.d until or
Wed oat, and ebar;red for. When a postpone
ment U added to an adrtienietit, the whole
will be charged, the nio a fur the firt insertion.
Letter relating to buine. to receive atten
tion, luut be ad treated to the Putlibe .
S. R. San ford, Sheriff of Ottawa Co.,
James P. Scott, Clerk an 1 Register
of Ottawa County, and Notary Public. Oflice
t the Court JI. .!.
Georg Parks, Treasurer of Ottawa
County, Grand Haven, Mich.
Augustus W. Taylor, Judge of
Prnate. Ottawa County. i'ort-Omra I'Mrrm
Ottawa Center. Court day, Firt and Tbir I
Mandstr of each M-.clh.
J. D. Vandervoort, Justin f the
Peace and Land AjrnU fiflicc in'bi new build
ing. oi'iMirit the pot-ffire, Wabii:eto St.,
Oram! Harm. MhIi.
James Sawyer, County Surveyor.
Pe.H-Oflice Addre.-; Latmanviie, C'tuaa
Count v, Mich.
Win, II. Parks, Atmrw-y and Coun-
aeiorat Law. Office n Washington StrM-to'P
;if o 1 t Cony, Church.
Atwood & Akeley, Counselor at
" Lacy orBec,iui.cooraoK. t'jr!fritr-,
XVa.hinclon Street, tirand Haven, Mirh.
Grosvenor Reed, Attorney ami
( oniie1nr at Law, an I Suloitor in Chancery.
Office. XVabinjrton treet, firtt dwr Lact of
tha llirlwre nr.
J. B. McNett, IMiywinnan.l Sur.n.
OISce.iein l l'r aWe Nrw Orrirt , Vah.
tngton htret. tru-l Harm. Mirh.
S. Munroe, Physieiati m Sur.-oti.
0!fic at bia reiliuie, Wathington Ui-et,
(lran.1 Havo, Mi' h.
Henry Griffin, Drut, Commis
sion Merrhaut an'4 tJueral AjtiL Corner c-f
Wathiiifton anl lt Street
Wm. M. Ferry Jr.. Manufacturer
of Stationary and Marina, Li-h vt low rc
ura Kojcine. Mill tiearinj. Iron anl Urana
rulings Ottawa Ir'B WirV. Ferryrf.
Ottawa Co., Mich. Post-Offlc aUreaa, (Jrand
John II. Newcomb, Dealer in Dry
Oooi, Orerie, ProTifina, Croekery.llari
ware, Dootn and Shoe, etc. SUU Sir!,
Mill Tflnt, Mi-h.
William Wallace, Grwer an I Pro-
-iion Merchant. One J-y-r bc!w thf Vtl
Office, Wahinr'" PtreeL
Cutler, Warts &. Stedgman, Doal-
trt ia (Icncml Mcrchandi, l' rk. 1 l.r. Salt,
lirain, LuinVer, Kbingletand Lath. Water Ft.,
Grand Haven, Mich.
Rhodes & Co., Whlsali ami Rtail
(rocer. Provi'ion an t Tec I iKalerr-, Firt
Street, (Jrand Haven.
Noah Perkins, Doaler in Dry Cools
fliwerief, ProiMonf Iroekary, Hardware,
ltooM aud Shoe. Ac Oppii tha t..re of
J. 11. ewsitnl. State rt., Mtll IVmt. Mich.
Jas. Patterson, Dealer in Xewia-
pera, Peri.idieal. S bool Ilo"k, Slatiooery;
alio Ietr .it Dailiea aud Wf-llic. Yankee
Notion, Tcbaero, l'i?ar, Candle. Nut, Ae.
Firt d-wr blow lirilTin' Urujj Store, Vah
J. T. Davis, Merchant Tailor, Dealer
ia Ocnta FurnUhinjt OoU, Broadcloth, Ca.
aimerea, Vetlinjr. Ae. Shop, Wathinjrn St.
next door ti the Urg Store.
J. St F. W. Fechheimer. erchant
Tailor. Dealer ia Ready-Ma le tMMn and
GenU Furnishing Uood. Broadcloth. Cafi
more, Veling Ac. At tha rt-0fflcc, Wh
tnirton Stmt, Grand Harco.
Porters & Mathison, Manufactur-
rrtf and Dealers ia C'lothinc (JooJu. No. IS,
Canal Street, Uraod Uapidn, Mi-b.
Ferry & Co., Manufacturer of Lum-
Ker, Lath, Timber, Pirkcta, Ac., and Peeler,
la all klndl of Merrhaadi. Prori.wo, Shin,
trie Bolta and Shingle. Ferrt.Tille, M bit
Ferry & Son, Manufacturer an,i
Wboeal and Retail Dealer in LamWr.Shin.
;le, 1-ath, Ticket, Timber Ac. rtu.inex Of
Bee. Water Street, Orand Haven, Mich., and
139, Adam Street, Chicago, 111.
Soot & Shoe Manufacturing anl Ro-
peiria; Shop. (ap rtair.) over Wallae'i
ttre. Wa'hinjton Street, Grand Haven.
V. Kt"rv, ren. R. c. F0S1IA.
laouero I t 4 I 1 1 I f 2 I
lrolainn I 2 1 31 7 1
leoluinn t 7 10 IS I M I ?H 3"
tr Aixto miio.
Tier l a tint at twiL'rht' eve.
That the heart I aoethed to ret ;
And the wild tumult of the I ra.t,
Lie calm, eaccfuL aod blent.
At twilight' eve, the wearied mind,
Findrtt in gi ldcn thought,
Aud fvtd tceinori'. (teal ba k again
Of bj Lwr youthf ul rport.
At twi!jglit eve, I love to it,
And ponder o'er the pat;
Chafing each halcyon thought
Of tboe I lun the hetf.
TJIC RLWAKD OF COL'I'.TEST.
A few j ears ago, on a raJiant after
noon, lo wen, who from their conserva
tion ajjeareJ to be forx-irjers 8tojjxJ
U'fure tha at of one of our large work
hop in lMiiladeljIiia, for tha manufacture
of locomotive engine. EnU-ring aauiall
office, the cM'.st of the men inquired of
the ,uj-ririteii lent in atlnJarH-o if he
wouM jern)it thorn to insrct the) worka.
You can -ass in and look about, if
you j.lfaso;" ail the Ktij-enntetKlviit,
vexel aj'j'arontlv at lelng inteiruj'ted in
the jx-rusftl of hw ncwjJijors. lie then
vanned the lrar.e-rs mre clly.
Thy were ri"i tfully but lainly clad,
and e ilently !iad no rreteri.sions to of
ficial dignity of any kind.
44 1 there any one ho can ahow u.h
ovr tliA .tablishimnt and eij.lain mat
Urs to us!'' aske.1 Mr. Wolfe, the elder
of the atraip r.
You mut lick your own way gentle
men," replied the niju'rinU'tidf-nt, we
are all too busy to attend to every party
hat comes along. I'll thank you not
to interrupt the workmen by asking ques
tions." J I was not so much tho matter, a the
manner of his rej.lv, that was offensive
to Mr. Wolfo and his ompnnion. It
U kjxiWlq will: a tTitaii) oillciaj atMiuij
tioii of aiiiK'fiority, miiiolol with cin
tetnjit for the visitors, indieaU-d a haugh
ty and seltUh U-mjvr cn the j-art of Uio
1 tlimk w o w ul not trouble you, miiJ
Mr. Wolfe, bowing; and taking hunoin
raniota arm they jse-l out.
" If there i any thing I dislike it is in
civility," aaid Mr. Wolfe, when tliey were
in the htrH t I do not blame tl man
for ikI wUhing t") t.how u over his es
tablishment ; ho is no doubt annoyed and
interrupted by many heed lest vihitori;
but ho might have dl-missed us with
courtesy, lie might have sent away
Ix tter content with a gracious refusal,
than with an ungracious confent.
l'trhais we bhall have Utter luck
here," said the other stranger; and they
stopped before another workshop of a
similar kind. They were ret ired by a
brisk little man, the hd clerk apjArent
ly, who in reply to their request to bo
shown over the establishment, aiujwcrvd,
Oh yes! Collio wilh low g.iAlclVieli.
This way." So saying, he hurried them
along the arena strewed with irou bars,
broken and rusty wh-vls ( iron, frag
ments of old t jliuders, into tho priiicij-al
Here, without stopping to exolain anv
one thing, he led the strangers along witli
tho evident intention of getting rid of
them as soon as ossiLle. When they
ul where the workmen were riveting
the external castings of a Nier, the cWk
looked at his watcli, tappl his right fx't
against an iron lube, and showed other
ngtiS of impatience. Whercujj'n Mr.
Wolfe remarked, We w ill not detain
you longer sir," tnd with his friend took
"This man is an improvement on tho
other," said Mr. Wolfe, M but all the civil
ity he has is on the surface; it does not
como from trie heart, wo must iook
The strangers walked on for nearly
half a mile in silence, when one of them
joiutod to a picture of a locomotive engine
with a train of cars underneath. It over
topped a titnall building, not more than
ten feet in height, communicating with a
yard and workshop. "Look," said tiro
observer, Mhert is a machinist whose
name is not on our list. rrolably it was
thought too srcsll a concern for our pur-
.," said his companion. M Neverthe
less lot us try it," wiid Mr. Wolfe.
j hey entered, and found at the desk
a tnid.Ilc-aged man, whoti grimmr aspect
anl aron nntnd his waist, shewed that
he divided his labors between the work
shop an1 th count ing-tocm.
" W want U look ovei yotjr wirks, if
you hav no 4jAr-tiin.M
M It will rive me great pleasure to show
you all there f to be seen," said the me
chanic, w ith a plcasel alacrity, ringing a
bell, and telling the boy who entered to
take cLarge of the office.
He then lead tho way, and explained
to the strangers the whole process cf con
htructing a ! cotnotive engine. I le show
ed them how the various parts of the
machinery were manufactured, and ta
tiently answere.1 all their piestioUs. He
told them of an improrod molo of lull
ing loilers, by which the power of gene
rating steam was increavxl, and showi-l
with what care he provided fr security
Two hours passed rapidly away. The
strangers were delighted with the intelli
gence, displayed br the mvhaniV, and
i ...(. .... .:... i ...
V tua tfiKWSStUMU'S aaaMUi'VCC'ua
manners. M Here is a man who lives his
r.rofessien so well, that he take pleasure
in explaining its mysteries to all who can
understand them.' thought Mr. Wolfe.
44 1 am afraid we have given ou a deal
of trouble," said the other stranger.
"Indeed, gTithmen, I hare enjoyed
four iit," said tho mechanic, 44 and shall
a glad to soo you again."
44 1'crhaps we may," said Mr. Wolfe
and the Strang rs lej nrted.
Five months afterwards as the niw han
h with limited mentis sat iu hi offiee,
mtxliuting how Ijirl it was to get busi
by the tide of nn h large establish
ments as were his competitors the two
strangers tiitervl. He pnve them a
brarty wel-ne, handel chairs arnl s:t
"W come," sai.l Mr. Wolfe, with
rojs:tioiis to ou from tlio KmjTor cf
" From the Emjwr ! I mo.sible T
44 Hero are our eredi titials.
44 Hut, gentlemen," wiid the uow agita
to 1 tnorhanic, ' what doe this tneniif
How have I earned such an honor!"
44 Simply by your straiiforward courU-
y an,l fnitikneiktoUib;ii! wi'Ji profess-,
ioiml ititollijjetK-e, said Mr. Wtilfi.-.
" Ihhuho wo were strangers you did not
think necessary to treat us with distrust
or coldness. You saw we were in earn
est in acquainting ours-Ie.s w ith ) our
works hd n -l ak us U.forc extei.d
ing to us your civilities, what letters of
introduction we brought. You meas
ured us by the spirit wo sliowol, aud
not br tho dignities wo could have ex
hibit." Tho nuvhanic isitel St. Peterabugh,
and soon afterwards me.vel his whole es
tablishment there. Ho had imj'erial or
ders for as manv l.comities as ho could
contruct. Ho has lately returne.1 to his
own country, and is still receiving largo
returns from his Russian workshop. And
all his prosj-erity grew out of his unself
ish civility to two strangers one of w horn
was the secret agent of the Czar of Rus
sia. Custkxtmkxt. I have a rich neigh
bor who is always so busy that ho has no
leisure to laugh; the w hole business of
his lifo is to get money, that he may still
get more and moro money. He u still
drudging ou, saying that Solomon sajs
"Tho diliigent haid maketh rich." And
it is true, indeed; but lie considers not
that it is not in the power of riches to
make a man happy f r it w a w iv ly sail
by a man of great observation that "there
lo as many miseries beyoixl riches as on
this side of them." And yet (! deliv
er us frtm pinching jovirty, and grant
that, having a con-.jete!cv, we may bj
content and thankful. I't us not repine,
or so much as think the gifts of God un
eouallv d alt, if we see another abouud
w nit rienes w nen, as vj u Knows me cares
that are the keys that keen those riches
hang often so heavily at the rich man's
girdle that they dog him w ith weary days
and retloss nights even when others sleep
quietly. We see but the outside of the
rich man's happiness; few consider h'm
to be like the silkworm, that, when she
seems to play, is at the ery same limo
spinning her ow n bowel and consuming
herself. And this manr rich elo loading
themselves with corrtsding cares to kec'p
what they have already got. Let us
therefore, be thankful for health and com
petence, and, alovo all, for a ouiet con
science. Izaak N alten.
Tattlixo. Like a bell that's rung for
fire; like a ceaseless auction crier; mis
chief making, stopping you with quaking
fear, whispering, as you lend an car,
"Mercy ou us did you hoar I Rty
Raker has a beauT
I e letters are generally only a sj
cies of 'Kf' patr!
EATB tKC. no. 28J
RL'PORT OF T11E COMMITTEE ON EX.
Tho committee on Expiring Laws to
whom was referred a bill to repeal sen tion
2383 of the Compiled Laws relating to
qualities! voters in school meetings
ing considered tha same, ak have to re
jiort. Tho quc-lion involved is simply, wheth
er il i advisable to ptrmit negros tojar
ticijAte equally with white citizen in
school distriet meetings.
Your committee are nt ni!ied that a
(rojHisition of that nature should ever
iae eliciled a difference of pitun in a
civilized community. Yet, as a diversity
of opinion d-e exUt they will bri-lly
state sotno ef tho reavr.s which occur to
them, wnv a descendant ot tne Atncan
race shoufd have no fellowshiji, sxial or
joliiieal, with whito persons.
History, sr.cred or prufane, has failed
to furuih any eviden that the negro
sj-rung from the same origin with the
white man. IMausible naturalists have
maintained that he is not strictly man or
lieast, but a sort of hvbrid, or connecting
link letwee:i man aul the lower animal.
Without pausing to s tile this vexe ques
tion, your oom:nillv ary of the opiuinii,
tliat, as ho is au inferior ln'ing, ho is not
entitled to the privileges and immunities
of tho sujerir. As a race, tho African
has made no pncrs, exept through the
remote tr immediate agency of slavery.
n his ow n cemtinent, at no time er
plje, has he advanced in civilization.
Cotiimetieitig at the joii.tof the newt
abj'vt barbarism, the race siuks lower aiel
lower till they approach tho brutes that
roam their foto-sLi. Nothing but alavery, as
jet, has, l-ecn able tshed a ray of inu lli-p-nco
or humanity into their liiiightsl
mind. Your Coiumitteo confess and de
plore tin -so truths.
An t iiiincnt Kngli-h w rit r, w ho con
curs iu many e.f the views cntertaine-l l)
ititllctujl and phrsira) ergnijvtion 'f
tLe African, says:
44 In all the ntticularj just enumerated,
tho negro stni. tnre npj romhes uneuiv
caliy to that of llio monkey."
"It not only differs from the Cuca.
ixin nil lej, but is distinguishesl from it
iu two respvLs. Tho inteivtual charac
teristk-s are reliK-el, the animal feature
enlarged and exaggerated. Tlu's inferior
ity ef faculties, may 1 provel not so
much by tho unfortunate U'ings who are
d''grall by slavery, as by every fact in
the past hiatorv and prewnt coteliti' ii uf
Such may lo reganld a the univer
sal opinion of mankind. Rv tho Knglish
commjn law, 44 the negro i;ad no rights
which the white man was lound to re
sect." Every State in thi L'niou (New
llarnphiro esj-cinlly iiK-ludel) lias ujn-u
her statute looks laws which direvtly er
by unavoidable implication, deprive the
negro of the rights privileges and fran-iiiL-
of cilii. (iovemed by the
same principles all tho States formed eut
of tho territory embraces! in tho ordinance
cf 187 have imiv.d uj-oti him j-!iti-.nl
disability; and to sevtiro and pe-rjicluate
the elividing line U twvn the negro aid
a citiz- n, according to the ordinances of
heaven, each e f them has incoqieraUsl
such disability in her organic law, by a
nearly unanimous Votoof the p-oplo; aud
so strong ha lxyn this sentiment that
some e-f them have gono so far as to f r
lid him even a renting place ujmn their
Tempted by tho foregoing inve terate
trocedents tho Supreme Court if the
Jnited States has lately decided that a
d'scendant of tho African race have no
status in our federal court.
Although lhat court, from its habitual
ly conservative cliararter, is far behind
the ,e formed under the aegis of the gical
majna charta of 1780, yet your commit
tee think it is plainly di-coterable, iu the
opinion alluded te that if the peint had
been at issue, tho court would have de
cided lhat tho ne-gro is not, and fUr the
credit of humanity ought not to bo a
citizen of tho United States. If motive
of policy required, the decision of that
august tribunal might lie disregarded, as
not being applicable to this sovereign
State, in her jobce regulation touching
this unfortunate race. Yet the fact can
not be disguised that the pat amount ju
dicial tribunal of this State, movel by
the settled maxims of tho law, and im
pressed with a lively sense of the inferior
and degraded character of the n'gro, has
lately, aole mtly adjudged that be is not
only not entitled to the rriv ilnrw of a cit-
uen and a man, but that from bis inhe- J
rent offensiveneis may be excluded from
Whatever might !e their privato opin
ion, your committee fstl bourd to defer
to that decision till the same le re verod.
Were the black equal to the w hite race
in poiut of intellet t, your committee wo'kl
still bo compelled to admit, that in tho
breast of every refined while man, there
is implanted, by his Creator, an invinci
ble repugnance, to fellowship with tho no
grt. To tlisregnrd this impulse of our
nature, i to violnto the laws of our so
cial and moral N-ing. and to remove it by
legislation, is to re-nl the wilt of Heaven
by mortal laws.
Your eorumit.-o nrv ui unmindful !
tho f:tct that pohlkal parties have arisen
aud flourished (or a while ujou negro
.r.. V, e ,:. r el . v
.J .......... ... V( ......... ...vt
can bo regarded only a j-e-riodical social
excreseenivs which a returning sense ef
deerncy will s.in slough from tho b-Iy
jK.'l.tic; nor are they unmindful that mem-U-r-i
f I'gislalive Udi'-s lin sometimes,
so far forgot their duties to their race, as
to prose rit the j- tition of negroes pray
itg f r black and white sisial esjuality,
and make strenuous e iTorls to pl:ies: them
selves on a level with tho jh titiote rs.
To such legishitt.ri your commitUv most
bvoutly exclaim, thank (ud that they
are n--t as such nen! It is ln-j-s that
sm h a are panting, with groan unultcr
ah!t for negro nssiation, will 1 cvn-;
t ntol with sj-vi.d laws giant ing to them
elves exd;isiely a nioiiop ly of that lux
ury. It is coumiI'TisI by state. men that the
presence e f an inferir r:ice i injurious to
the suj-ri.'r; that it tends more to do
grade the latter than toelevj.to I ho form
er. Hence, it too!ues the duty ef the
sur-erior, as a undo ,.f preservation and
cif dotation, t take eve ry step j isti'ied
by humanity to remove the ol.noxioiis
race, or at leftt to s'o that the elividing
line Utwecn the races r3 maintain.sl.
"Evil e'ommun!atie.n e-t.rrupt go.l
manners." Thrs ndmouitioii is
strikingly exenq lified in Iho fae.t that
there riro wliitee jiersems among us, 1 tear
ing the imngi'snd sufeervrijtii!j of white
me-n, who lit. -rally e!okv.ic d bv an
un!:a!lowesl Atlrlinu f-r a race iijhti
whiih he-aveti, after stsmj ing it with in
feriority, pla.es! e n a remote continent
and imrked the ed ji-ct eif diviti-' indigna
tion with a el grading color, r.s if to pro
serve and jierjs tuate his inscrutable fore
irdinatHin. Against such tnorbi I affec
tions your eommitlco proUst, and therev
(r rcjert tin bill and recommend it
pas.sago, and that they U discharges! from
further consideration thereof.
All of whie h i rospoe tj'ully submittesl.
T. F. RROIUIEAD,
A ODE TO A MtKEn:il.
Yu wiked ldu-1 suekcr, by ibiaiit
You urn vur livin nun wa lienide
I.itinjr il-'Wii on peuple and murl n yura
11 ( l ii to z,i tin I, litiil i. n
F.W"i ii'.e and whin tl.a k-it in ad an
litjcin t ;, lcMc' llaint yni p..t no fcrltnk ?
tirvat c.ikvr! how vu.lejrit n.M-ked if you wa
A lirjj a um l.i I, jrd l.lud u kcr a u
Round l erc, w.t war kl.i-c. Whl Wont yn
Lite d"iin a Ilia an t U.-.U cm f re
Tha uo it. withoat lmli. ri j oil the wl.jl- I
Vur a kaotlxd ! y"i do a Li.' buni on a
Siuaal kail, yoa .u k iuro Llo'nl out .f a
Fl!-r than a Wcijnt ran, and yurv dueller
Airit l.alT 'n. Yu wiiVe up f. ke
Wlicu tha ar.lr. j io, and tha ir
Venfti. IIuv .In yu wurk it to krap
Yure 111 m rharp Without jrraidin Whi
I. nt yu !-( k w urru owt of tree'.
A cte nel, you l"i' t lc)f.'d rur ?
Whnt fe.wn I it ru ynt; o mirh.
lining' r.wJ ami yure fttl.tr h't "ph.
Seakeo hume you tua devowvr mm body J
V m in tu to a kin t n ti I bur I from yure
Synj;in, aud on; louili when yure
lluiijcty i"t. I hml tbynk yud wanton
Root or panty le-K tu kee-p yure long
Leg froiu be in k'.al I thy wetiier.
IniH'k your ueelie. yn kaut ebaw, butt
Yure umin on nen, ka yu net ir
tilt wtane-d. I jvk, a Jew.
Horse vs. Men. "Why, eloctor,"
said a lady, yeu talk a though a hor.-e
was better than a manr "He is"
thedoctir; "ho never deceive a lady
lie bridle his tongue he follows no fash
ions and ho hates hoe'p !"
When the tailor !ksl at tho Falls
of Niagara, with its thick cloud of spray,
"(iod 1 w hat a place to Rjonge a coat T
When a black republican politician
looked at a neat in the Michigan. Legisla
ture, with all its facilities for sacrificing
the interests tf the r-eople, to the "high
est bidder," he mentally exclaimed,
44Gi!s! what a p'aee to snge th
. - The reason w by some jeeple put on
airs is U-causo they have nothing else to
There L only one bad w ifo in the
werM, and every crusty husband thiuk
that she i fallen to his" lot.
A rah young mnn ha thre atened
to apply tho Maine liquor law to his
sneol-hinrt, ho intoxicates him o.
Tho won.an who held her tongne
for fitlee-n minute-, has U-en se nt te the
A g'xd many flv ing rumors eif the
lay would le more appropriately designa
led by taking ff tho F.
Snow kr or Ru:Kik. The wife of
Mr !!.rM- f.f P.iOrinmilli 'm r-w.l,
rrese-nted lo r husland with three Cno ba
bies two l-'vs aud a girl.
- Tho moeiueet of all tcean things is
tho man who slanders under a mask of
A horso d aler, devribing a used
up horo, aid ho looked "a if ho had
boon esliting a daily now spaje'r."
Small Newsley to Horrifies Dandy
"Won't you rateh my 'cad Mister;
my 'and is so coll I can't f
A Dutchman's heart rending seililo-
1 1 1 v is dentilid thu: " S!elo(cs hhoti
Kickle so much iser as I, pocauso hes
id ksj.le toll-rs mote ns I hasT
A vemng carpenter having lnvn
told that "tho courMj of truo love ucver
did run snnsdh," toek his piano tind'T
his arm wln-n he weiit eenuting.
A wag rus ho don't care a fj
whether thev get anv currrntM through
tho Atlantic cable or not, but ho would
like a few fredl 7eic.
" Jeff, w hy am em like tho Cislar I"
44 1 guv's it up, Sam; 1 can't tll jou."
44 Ctt.v voit stnvs orten buh sumiuor
- rasliioiiablo wenneu arc articles
m.niiufaetiind by milline-rs:
They want but litt'e here below.
And want that little f r hov.
Kissing a pretty girl 44dow n Seuth,"
a yoit'gt? ntemnn akesl her "what made
her fo sweet!" "Oh," she replies!, in nt
tor innHS is e, "my father is n sugar plan
ter." An exchange paer fay that tho
most dignifies!, glorious and lovely wk
of nature is woman; tho next, man; and
thirdly, the Dork shire pig.
41 Why in tho world do you plant
Uiled pe.taLos Mr. O'FIalu-rly !"
44 Shu re, jer honor, I'm g..in' to try
the ixpirimint of raisin' them already
biles! for my own ait in'."
"Miss Drown, I havo bocn to Joarn
how to tell fortuniss" sai l a young man
to a brisk brunnotte. "Ju,t give mo
your hand, if )ou plea.se."
" Ijv, Mr. White, how sudden yeu are!
Weil, g. ak ra."
1 1 is said to J.O dangerous to le
working with a sewing machine, near a
window when there is a thunder 6torm.
It is dangerous to sit near some serving
machine's w hen there is no thunder stewm.
44 What is the me aning of a backbi
te r?" said a reverend gentleman during
an examination nt a parochial school.
This was a puzzler. Il went elown the
las till it came to a simple urchin, who
said, 4Torliaps it be a fle a."
44 Pomjeoy, what am eJat goes wheu
do wngoti gs stejs when do wagon
stops, it am no u .o to do w agon, and yet
do wagon can't go without it!"
"I gubselnt up, Clem"
" Why, elo noie, of course, yvu stupid
"Ladies ard gentlemen," said a
show man 4he're you Lave a magnificent
joiintitig of "Daniel in tho lions den."
Daniel can easily bo distinguished from
tho lions by the green etten umbrella
under his arm."
"What are you doing f" emeried
a gentleman to a dilapidated urchin, who
was circulating through a crowd of oeuV
tieians liolding eut his band. Nothin'
only tryin' to take the irne v( tho meet
A elanJy who had a ".srendid" mus
tache, luring asked at a party to favor the
ladies w ith a song, replied that he "real
ly aw couldn't recollect the tune." A
b-auty who was near exclaimed, "Oh,
bar! how can lhat be when the hair(AlR)
i hanging on your very 1'pT She has
since been married lo him; fen 1 her
right for her irppudenec.