Newspaper Page Text
fott 0mroti ftitttitd.
HUMOR AMD WIT.
"You cnn't do that again," said the
pig, when tho boy cut off his tn.il.
Did tho horseman who "scoured the
plain" uso soap?
"Cacklino may ho termed, pocticaU
ly, tho "Lay of the Hen."
Tub lady yho took everybody's eye,
TttllQr Imvn miitn n Irtf rp
'lv ii. vi. wil.
It is exceedingly bad husbandry to
narrow up tno toolings of your wile.
One of tho greatest robbers is tem
pcrance, for it robs tho poor-houso and
uu jihsuii ui liiuir victims.
Somebody says that tho best way to
kecpfood upon a woakstotnach, is to
uoit it uown.
How does a school-master differ from
nn cngino-drivci? The first trains the
mind, and tho other minds tho train.
The young woman who was "driven
to distraction," now fears that sho will
nave to walk back.
An .itinerant preacher, who rambled
m ms sermons, wnen requested to stick
to nis text, replied, that "scattering
miui wouiu uii tuo most uirus."
tuuuicAii journal tells or a man
who lived fivo ycnr8 with a ball m his
head. Wo have! known ladies live twice
a9 long with nothing but balls in their
"Now do take this mcdicino, wife,
and I'll bo hanged if it doesn't cure
you." "0, I will tako it then, by all
means, ror it is sure to do good one
way or tho other."
John says that it is bad meddling
with a train of gunpowder; but if you
want to be blown up to a dead cctainty,
;,u-. tread on a lady's tram. Uo met
it, and knows.
A driver of a coach in Texas, stop-
ping to got somo water lor the young
ladies in tho carriage, being asked what
he stopped for, replied : "I am watering
my Rowers." A uelicato compliment.
"Bubby, why don't you go home and
have your mother sew up that hole in
"Oh. jo alone, old woman ; our
folks aro economizing, and a hole wil
last longer than u patch."
An irascible old gentleman was taken
with sneezing in tho cars lately. After
sneezing in the most spasmodic manner
eight times, ho arrested tho paroxysm
for a moment and extricating his hand
kerchief, ho thus addressed his nasal
organ, indignantly saying : "0, go on,
go on you'll blow your infernal brains
out presently !"
John, whilo recently engaged in split
ting wood, struck a false Mow, causing
tho stick to fly up. It struck him on
tho jaw and knocked out a front tooth.
"Ah," said Bill, meeting him soon af
tor, "you'vo had a dontal operation per
formed, I 6co." "Yes," replied tho
A newspaper wac b rather severe
urion tho doctors. A son of Galen who
was very angry when any joko was pass
ed tiDon nhvsicians, once defended him
self from raillery by saying : "I defy
any person whom I ever attended to, to
nccuso mo of ignorance or neglect."
"That you may do safely," replied a
wag, "for you know, doctor, dead men
tell no tales."
An old joker, who never yielded tho
nalm to anv ono in reeling a knotty
yarn, was put to his trumps a,t hearing
n traveller state that ho once saw a brick
house nliicod unon runners and drawn
nn n. hill to a moro favorable location,
somo half a mile distant. "What do
you think of that, Undo Ethel ?" said
a bystander. "0, fudge!" Baid tho
old man, "I once saw a two story stono
houso, down east, drawn by oxen ttirco
miles." A dead silence ensued: tho
old man evidently had tho worst end of
it. anil ho saw it. Gathering all his en
ergies, ho bit off a hugo bit of pig-tail,
hv wav of enininc time for thought.
"They draw'd tho stono house," said
flm old man. eicctinK iv quantity of to
bacco juice toward tho firo place, "but
that wasn't tho worst of tho job, arter
they'd done that, they went back and
draw'd tho cellar." Tho stranger gave
A Treacher of tho Methodist church
was travelling in ono of tho back settle
ments, and Btoppcd at a cabin whero an
old ladv received him very kindly. Af
ter setting provision before him, sho
beean to question him. "Stranger
where raought you bo from?" "Mad
am, I reside in Shelby County, Ken-
tucky." "Wal, stranger, nope no of.
fence, but what roought you bo a doiu
way up here?" "Madam, lam search
inir for tho lost sheep of tho house
Israel" "John, John !" shouted tho
old ladv. "come right hero this minnit
hnrn'n a straneor all tho way from Bhel
by County, Kentucky, a huntin' stock
A T'll i.iat bet my life that tangle'
haired old blaok ram that's been in our
lot last week, is one oj tiia'n .'"
BY MISS MANGY A. W. miEST.
Beyond these chilling winds nnil gloomy skies j
Beyond death's cloudy portal,
There Is a lnnd whero beauty never dies,
And lore becomes Immortal.
V land whoso light Is norcr dimmed by simile,
Whose fields are crer vernal ',
Where nothing beautiful can ever fade,
llut blooms for nyo, eternal,
Wo may not know how sweet Us balmy air,
How bright and fair Its llowcrs ;
Wo may not hear the tougs that echo there,
Through thoso enchanted bowers.
The city's shining towers wo may not sec,
With our dim, earthly vision ;
For death, tho tllcnt warder, keens tho key.
That opes these gates clystan.
Ilut sometimes when adown tho western sky,
The fiery sunset lingers,
Its golden gates swing inward noiselessly,
Unlocked by silent fingers.
And whilo they stand a moment half njar,
Gleams from tho Inner glory,
Stream brightly through the nturo vault afar,
And half reveal the glory.
Ob, land unknown ! 0!t, land of lore divine !
Father all wise, eternal,
flulde, guide these wnndcrlng, way-worn feet of
Into those pastures vernal.
TEST OF CHARACTER.
BY HORATIO A10ER, JR.
"Uncle Henry," said Jnliiv Donham,
"may I seo you in tho library a mo
ment this morning ?"
"Certainly, my dear. I am at vour
command now," and ho led tho way into
He handed his ncico to an arm-chair,
and took a scat opp sito her.
"Uncle," said Julia, with r, little bo-
coming confusion, "I havo received an
"Whew!" exclaimed her uncle, "that
is coming in tho point with a ven
geance." "And I wish to consult you as to ac
cepting it or not."
"A very oensiblo resolution. May 1
know from whom tho offer has been re
"You havn't known him very long."
'Not very," said Julia, slowly.
"But you think you know all about
him, I dare say. Aro you very much
in lovo with him I
"Not desperately," answered Julia,
smiling. "At tho sarao timo I confess
that I am StroiiL'lv meuussesscd in hia
"And this prepossession is likely to
become a warm Bcntimen; wen, my
ittlo ncice, as you havo requested my
advice, I will givo it. I do not object
to this lover of yours. Indeed, L know
nothinir oeainst him. But then I know
too littlo of him at any rato to bo able
to form a deliberate opinion of his
If I mistake not this is also
your case jnow k is my tneory mat
no woman ought to marry unless sno is
sufficiently well acquainted with ner in
tended husband, to havo a pretty conn
dent ossuranco of leading a happy lifo
with him. I therefore counsel you to
delay giving your answer for ft month
and in that time 1 will contnvo to oo-
como better acquainted with him."
"Your advice is good," said Jul!
tkousrhtfullv. "and 1 will follow it."
j . . - ... ... .1...
Thank you," said her uncle, kinaiy
"for tho confidence you havo reposed
in my judgement. I sincerely hope
that tho young man will prove to bo al
that wo can desire."
Edward Fitzroy was in business in tho
neighboring city, lie had embarKeu i
small property inherited from his fath
er. in a, drv-coods establishment on
Washington street, and having a good
business tact was driving a flourishing
trado. His acquaintance with our he
roino had commenced during a summer
rcsidenco at tho villago which 3ho made
her homo, it was not strango that ho
should havo been attracted by Julia
Her gayety, vivacity and beauty made
her generally admired, and had any
thing clso been rcquisito, tho reputation
of being her unclo's heiress would havo
procured her suitors. But it is not nee
essary to dwell tarthcr on this point ot
our story. Wo uro interested to learn
how Uncle Henry's plans succeeded.
tr r . 1 . -
no urst mauo cautious inquiries rum
tivo to tho young man's business stand
inc. all of which wero answered satis
factorily. But this did not satisfy him
Ho wished to seo for himself. Accor
dingly ho purchased a suit of clothing
so different from that which ho was a.c
customed to wear, that with a pair
ereen coccles superadded, ho felt con
vinced would disguise him Bufliciontly
for his purpose Thus uttnod, he
lounged into tho store, and inquired for
somo trifling articlo. Ho was purpose
ly very slow in being suited. Meanwhile
tie wuicneu wun somo attention me uuur
ing of Fitzroy, who was trading with
fashionably attired ladv at a littlo dis
tance. Nothing could bo moro polite
or obsequious than tho conduct of tho
young tradesman. With unwearied as
siduity he took down from tho shelves
and displayed a largo stock of merchan
dize until tho fastidious tasto of the la
dy was at length suited.
"llo is attentive to his customers,"
thought Undo Henry. "That is a good
sign. But perhaps it may bo simply
becauso sho is rich and fashionable.
Hero's a customer of a different kind.
Let rao seo how ho treats her."
At this momont a woman vorv poor
ly dressed, with a worn nnd weary ex
pression, as if sho wero better acquaint
ed with tho dark than tho bright Bide of
lifo, cntcrod tho Btreet door and ad
vanced to tho counter. Tho affable
smilo which Fitzroy had worn in his in-
. ! - . .
turview wiui mo last customer, disap
peared, and in its placo was seen a su
"I would liko to look at somo cali
coes," said tho customer.
"Ilcro aro some," said Fitzroy, curt
ly, pointing to a pile which luy upon
Ho did net stir from his position, but
gazed at tho woman with an air that
scorned to indicate how utterly indiffcr
ent ho was to her patronage.
"Will you show .no somo of them ?'
asked the woman, mildly.
"Ihero they are, ma'am ; you can
seo tnem for yourself."
"What is tho nrico of this ?" sho in
quired, looking at tho ono which lay at
"Nincpenco a yard."
"I don't altogether liko tho figure,
sho said, after a pause.
"Don't you ?" returned Fitzroy, in
Tho customer becan to examino some
of tho other prints. Of courso in doing
so 6ho was obliged to disarrange them
"Don't pull them all to pieces," said
Fitzrov. rinlnlv. "Thorn isn't miirh
difference in them. You'd better take
tho first that comes. How much do you
"Well, you'd 1
better let mo cut it oil
uick, as l can't stand waiting on one
customer all day."
Thus importuned, tho woman hastily
indicated ono ot tho prints, id tho rc
uirod quantity was measured oil.
utange was hastily mado and tho wo
man departed. Her placo was taken by
wealthy ady liko thr hrst, tho rustlo
of whoso silk proved an immediate pass
port to tho good graces ot tho young
"I don't liko that," thought Urclo
Icnry, who hid not been unobscn ant
of this littlo scene. "Ho has no fight
to treat ono customer better than nil-
other. At all events nil ought to be
treated with common civility, whatever
thoir attiro lliur UU, OT IIUMUVC'l BUI 111
may ho their purchaso. Thcso gloves
aro half-a-dollar, aro they : ( these
words wero addressed to tho shopman
who was waiting upon him,; very well,
will take them."
Meanwhilt tho woman who had mst
purchased tho calico re-entered the store
with a hurried step and a look of troub
oho waited until l'ltzroy was
through with tho hdy upon whom ho
was attending, end then pressed to tho
Well, what now?" asked tho young
"I believe you mado a mistake about
tho chango you handed mo."
"A mistake I" ho repeated. "It is
"But," said tho woman, anxiously
"don't you remember that I gavo you a
two dollar bill, and you only handed
mo back two quarters."
"Wasn't that right t"
"No T bought ten vards. at ninc
penco a yard, which mado but a dollar
and a quarter."
"And you handed mo a two dollar
"Then I must havo given you hack
"But sir, it cannot be. I havo only
'0, you'll find tho other in your
pocket, if you havon't spent it," said
T he woman colored.
"Indeed, sir, I know 1 am right,"
sho said, troubled.
"It is for your interest, too," ho re
turned with a sneer.
"And you won't rectify tho mistako
then ?" said tho poor woman faintly ?"
"You mako a great tuss about o
quarter of a dollar."
"It is of somo importance to mo,'1
said tho woman.
"I can't roturn it," said Fitzroy
shortly. There is no end to tho impo
sitions that would bo practiced upon
me, if I allowed everybody to come
back and claim that thoy had not ro
ceivod tho right chango."
Here Undo Henry, who had listened
with indignation to this sceno, inter
"You aro mistaken," said he, decid
edly. "I saw you hand this lady her
change, and you passed her lu two
Fitzrov glanced at tho speaker. It
has not bcon mentioned that Uncle Hen
ry, the better to conceal his identity,
was coarsely dressed, and accordingly
Fitzroy set him down as a person of no
consequence, iio thercforo answered
"1 shall need moro than your word,
my good sir. How do I know but you
aro in league-"
"Good morning, sir," said Uncle
Icnry, abruptly. "You may hereafter
regret this gratuitous insult. Madam,
will you allow mo a word with you ?"
The woman followed him out of tho
shop, while Fitzroy in no very pleasant
mood muttered about tho "airs ot these
"Madam," said undo Henry, after
they wero in the street, "will you accept
rom me this picco of gold, will in a
measure atone for this man's rudeness
andyourloss. Nay, no thanks. "What
havo witnessed has been worth moro
to me than this small sum."
At tho end of a montli Edward Fitz
roy enmo to receive Julia Denham's an
swer to his suit. He felt quite confi
dent of bucccss a confidenco which was
somewhat diminished by tho coldness
with which she returned his greeting.
"I must decline the honor or your al
iancc," said she, in answer to his ur
gent proposal. But what can havo
wrought this chango in you ?" ho asked,
his countcnanco changing.
"1 must refer you to my uncle."
Undo Henry, who entered tho room
immediately, explained in a few words
in what way they had gained nn uufa-
vorablo impression of his character. Ho
concluded by saying : "Tho man who is
obsequious to tho rich and impertinent
to tho poor, shall not, with my consent,
marry one in whom I feel un interest."
A ycav attcrwnrds, Julia formed an
allianco with ono moro worthy of her,
1 never had causo to regret her un
Tho Bummors Disbanded.
That unique body, "Tho Bummers,"
is disbanded by tho following order,
which is doubtless authentic, because
wo find it in tho Army and Navy Jour
Headquarters, Ciijef of Bummers.
1 Bummers. )
i, N. 0.,
I 27, 1805. )
In the Field, Raleiou
General Orucvs jNo. Ibua.
I. After four (4) years of arduous
struggle in the perpetuation of war, the
bummcr3 ot tho Military Division of
tho Mississippi, unsurpassed in pure
cussodncjs, aro forced to abandon their
profession of arms, by reason of the
promulgation of peace an event over
winch they had no control.
11. 1 need not tell the surviving iium
mcrs of so many thieving expeditions,
that this unhappy, unthought-ol, and
uncalled-for result was brought by no
effort of theirs.
TIT fPhrt itaifl ImrnMo.kort .wtl 1
the adopted badge of tho well kaown
command, and will bo worn by every
member, on all occasions; as a mark of
di junction from other commands
IV. Your Chief takes pleasuro in
tendering to you his sincero thanks for
tho noblo nnd efficient manner in which
you havo performed tho arduous labors
of your department, knowing that, in
many instances, danger was more plen
ty than plunder ; and a desire to obtain
tho latter moro evident among you than
a will to bravo tho former.
V. Feeling assured that each ono of
you will eventually bo cared for in your
respective Stato pii?ons, your Chiof ro
f rains from issuing further orders for
your future welfare and discipline.
VI. And now, trusting that each ono
of you may pass the unexpired term of
your lives in enjoying acquired wealth
and happiness, your Chief, with much
regret, is reluctantly compelled to bid
a. V. ltAGls, vJhief of Hummers.
Preserving Shingles on Roofs,
Tho following articlo wo copy from
tho Rural Intelligencer, as worthy of at
tention by thoso who desiro to preserve
tho roots ot their habitation and build'
"aomo paint roof shingles after they
are laid. This makes them rot sooner
than thoy othcrwiso would. Somo paint
tho courses ns thoy aro laid ; this is a
great preservative, if each shingle is
painted tho length of tuto courses.
Uut about as suro a way to preserve
shingles, nnd that with liulo or no ex
pense is a mode recomiUtinded to us bv
Hon. David Hunter; of Clinton, on the
2S5d of Fobruary list. Wo republish
so much of his lotted as relates to this
subjoct, in hopes tlifjt it may bo of ser
viiu vu iuuiiy ui uuijiuuuuiB ;
" 'Thoro is ono tjpg moro that near
ly all pooplo knowr'f theyewould. only
attend to it: that 1$. to snrinklo Black
ed limo on tho roofsxf their buildings
in rainy days. Put ifcjpn considerably
ttiici;, o as to maKo tnnroof look whito,
and you never wills'bA troubled with
moss ; and f tho .blunf Jcs are covered
ever so thick with mosj by putting tho
limo on twice, it willAako all tho moss
off, and leavo tho rooI.Mito nnd olean,
and will look almost if well bh if it had
beon painted. It aMit to be dono
onco a year, and, in
long aB they
shingles will last almost
mill f 1a- VAnpvAll
will to let tho roof'oll
w over to
moss. I tried it on tho
bk side of
my houso ton vcaW) ago, xrhon tho shin
gles wero all covored over with moss
nnd thoy appeared to bo nearly rotten
I gavo tho roof a heavy coat of limo
and havo followed it nearly every year
sinco then, and tho roof is bcttir uovr
than it was then ; and, to all uppcar
anco, if I follow my plan, it will Inst
ton or fifteen years longer. The shin
gles havo been on tho roof over thirty
years. Thero is no moro risk about
sparks catching on tho roof than on a
newly shingled roof. Thoso that do
not havo limo near by, can tie good
strong wood ashes, and these will an
swer ti very good purposo to same
Waitino for AVeeds. Our best far
mers havo stopped waiting for tho weeds
to appear before commencing to cult!
vato their corn. They havo concluded
that of all tho foolish racing matches
in tho world, thoso botween "hoed"
props and tho woods, are tho most fool
ish. It is a match in which tho weeds
aro bound to win, unless the greatest
possiblo efforts aro used to encourage
tho corn. Just wait for the two to start
even, and tho driver of tho rom will
find that ho must urgo his nag to 'he
utmost or'ho is bcaton, tho loss ia his
nag itsel f. Tho farmers havo conclu
ded that there is always foul divisions
among their opponents, and thero is no
preventing it. Tho only wav is to Btnrt
ahead of them ; it is comparatively an
easy matter to keep tho advantage. It
is certainly timo to bo in the field as
soon as tho rows of corn can be scon,
and it is well to stay there most of the
time, until corn is sufficiently advanced
to bo "laid by." Prairie Farmer.
The deaths in our army, during tiie
war, officially ascertained, ninount3 to
threo hundred and fifty thousand. Add
to that tho helplessly crippled, the one
legged and ono armed soldiers, und the
broken down in "constitution, nnd what
a price to pay for tho experiment of
The demoralization, disaffection, an '
Indolence of tho people of Alabama it
described as perfectly frightful, nnd
nothing but military protection snves
tho Stato from popular anarchy. .
TAKKN up, by Lucas Dnum, on hl plantation
In Nodawny Township, Holt Cjuii'j', Ho ,
nn tho 2Jcl ilny of June, 18(5.1, a ctTtiiin sorrel
marc nbout tlx 'years oi l, fifteen n,tnt u h:lf
liitnils high, a stnr In her furehcivl, ain the ri;lii
hind foot white ; nnd wns appraise i by lumo II
Iddlngs and Uehert Davidson, two di'ititii-te1
house-holder of Holt County, Mo., on tho 21th
day of J line, 18(55, at tho etim of feveo'y-fiu-dollars.
Taken up nnd nppnilaid 't fore me,
.liimes S. Hart, Mayor of Oregon, nnd i r Olficio
Justice oT the l'eaco in nnd fur Holt CmiiU'. Mo
Oiegon, Mn , Juno 2-ltli, ISO nl Jw
LETTMUS of Administration upon tlu nt ite
of Joliu Mnrkweli, deceased, not ivlu.'mj.t r
cd upon by Samuel It. Young, lute A l.nm.-.fa
tor, havo been granted to the umlernlgiuM iy Hi.
County Cmrt, dated tho 8th day orPcliruury,
18115. Tho authirlty of the said !ioimI t.
Young censed on the 8tU day.of Felt: jur) Wil,
by revocation of Letters.
DANIHL ZOOK. Adm'r U nm.
JOHN MARKWI5LL, Ucco.doI.
June 22d, 1805. 4-w.
ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTK I.
TVTOTICU Is hereby given that lett' t m
ll ministration upon tho cstnto i
Thorp, deceased, have been granted i ro t I
ibo Holt County Court, bearing date hs di
of June, 1805.
All persons having claims ntralnst s'tt t "'0:it .
aro requested to exhibit them to roe for nllo
ance within ono year from tho data of tuld 1 I-
ten, or inoy may na preciuuoi rrom nor txnt it
of tald estate; nndlfsnid clitims bnurM !
leu witutu tiireo years rrom tue ilato or siwl ' t.
tcrs, they will bo forever barr d,
JOSEPH THOMPSON, Adm'r
Jnne 22d. 1805. nMir
NOTICE Is hereby given that letters of d
ministration upon tho estnte of It. P. Pol
lock, deceased, havo been granted to n e lij tlx
County Court of Holt County, bearing h.to Muv
All persons having claims ncainst said estate.
are required to exhibit thorn for a'! w moo.
wllliln one year from tho dato ofiald letters, or
tney may ne precluded rrom, any benefit of rush
estato ; nnd If said claims be not exhibited with
in three years from tho dato of said letter's they
win do lorcver uarreu.
II. C. OFFUIT, Adm'r.
Juno 22d 1803. 4-w.
WHEREAS, William Lorancc. by 1. i .bed,
eommniilv cnllpd n. deed of tni.t. ilnt!
June 20th, 1850, convoyed to the undurHlgntMl
tho following real estnte, eltnnte, lying nu be
ing in tho County of Holt, and Stato of Missouri,
to.wlt : The West hair or section twenty.tno
(22) in township sixty-one, (01) ofranr.o thirty
even, (37) whloh snid conveyance was made to
secure tho payment of a oertaln Promissory
rtotolnenlu uceu ueacrlbeu. Anil niierens, i;
was further provided In aud by said deed of trust
that If tho sum of money scourod by t ald deed
of trust, should bo paid at tho timo the fa mo
should becomo duo and payablo, then fiildilreil
and tho convoyanco of the real estate therein
oonveyed, Bhould btcomo void nnd of no effect ;
but If tho said Loranoe suouid rail to p iy bald
sumofmouey with tbe intorest thereon when
the same should becomo due and paynlh as
aforesaid, it was further provided that the un
dersigned should, nnd ho was by said deijd of
trust nutiiorlseu to sen sam real ostate arter glv
ing thirty days notice of tbe time, and place of
sucn saio, wun n uescripuon ot me property to
bo sold In tbe County of Holt, and State of Ml,
sour! t And whereas, the said Loranoo ha4 fulled
to pay said sum ot money in taid'Fronussory
Note specified, and tho same still remains due
nnd unpaid, therefore notico Is hereby given that
1, tbe undersigned as Trustee, will, on the
1th day oJlufiusl, 1865,
at the North door of the Court false In the
town of Oregon, Holt County, Mo,WJTjeeii Urn
hours of nine o'clook in the ftffKl tfrflfoVjIt
o'olook In tbe nftornoon of said
J ' ' 7
sell said described Real l.ntj'.w
Hon to tho highest bidder for.n's
satisfy said promissory note aiF
together wUh the costs of thliL . .
J. F. MARTIN, Trustee,
Juno 20th, 18CC. t
Itolt County Sentinel
OFFICE In brick block , Mrtlnccst
corner Public Stiarc.
UTE WOULD JtKSrEM FULLY AMNOUXCB'
it tn the public that wo are now prepared to
PROMPTLY AND W ITA NCATSES3,
ALL oriUrs for
Job Printing !
&c., &c, tec
OUR Facilities for Executing
Or All TClml
Arc not surpassed In this pitrt of the SUt.
Order by mail promptly attended to.
CIIA8. V. BOW