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Eaton weekly Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, August 25, 1870, Image 1

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GEO. W. MEHAFFET, Proprietor and Publisher.
'PRINCIPLES, 3STOX MEN."
Two Dollars per Annum, in Advance.
VOL. V -NO. 29.
EATON,, OHIO, THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 1870.
WHOLE NO. 237.
POETRY.
FARMER SLACK!
BY O. HOWE GREEN
O, Fiwn slack I O, Farmer Slick !
Tour pi are bone 'neath a stack ;
Tear steep UN gorges, themselves with corn,
Tonr com bar cot ma hollow horn I
Bon, Farmer Black 1 Bun for year life I
Run, save your children and your wife ;
Run 1 run to save your house on Ore ;
The flames are mounticg ever higher r
O, Farmer Slack, you pay too dear,
why don't you keep your chimney c
Green wood will make more soot thai
rknf
iam dry ;
insn cut your wow ana mj n uy.
Why I Farmer Black, whan la your plow?
Keeled up beside the fence, I trow!
Tour rake aad reaper, both are eut.
Why t Fanner, what or you about?
Now, Farmer Black, don't blame the times ;
Ton can't expect to make " the dime ;"
a our energies nave iu oeen Dene
Western Rural.
THE LOVER'S FEARS.
t like to ask a question, if
' I thought you'd answer " yea,"
How very hard a ' no " would be,
I'm sure you'd never guess.
Bat, sh t tho' long I've waited,
A chance like thai to find.
in wnen you say you u listen
I can't make up my mind, Just
For fear you'll answer " no ;"
And it la such a treasure that
I want you to bestow I
I dread lest you refuse it,
Aad yet oh, happy thought
It may be that you'll give me
What I a long have sought.
" Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.
That must my motto be.
80 now I'll ask my question.
And you will answer me.
, I want your band, fair maiden.
And with It, all your heart.
Ton blush! oh sweet, sweet answer
My foolish fears depart.
THE LOVER'S FEARS. MISCELLANEOUS.
WYBROWE'S WILL.
BY "BUY."
I.
my way a party
Fulham one fine afternoon, with my
friend Charlie Twistleton, I heard the fol
lowing story of a lady concerning whom
everybody was just then talking.
Wybrowe, Brazilian millionaire, tetat,
seventy, or thereabouts, marries Helen
Chetwynd, impecunious belle, sctat. nine
teen, daughter .of a British diplomafte in
those parts ; and, after two years of con
nubial felicity, considerately dies. Wy
browe is tealous as a Spaniard; and his
jealousy looks beyond his own life. So
he leaves a terrible wiU behind him. This
cunningly contrived document provides
that his widow, then just twenty-one,
shall receive and enjoy an income of some
15,000 per annum so long and only so
long as she shall remain unmarried.
That if she do marry again, she shall re
ceive absolutely nothing the entire
estate of the deceased passing to two dis
tant relatives, believed to be living in ob
scure poverty in London.
Now comes the most curious part of the
story.
A good many men besides old Wybrowe
went mad about la belle Helen out in Bra
zil ; notably a man who was thought to
be nearly as big as Crowns a half-Spaniard,
half Englishman, by name Alvarez
Smith. This hybrid was said to have the
temper of a fiend, the face of a baboon,
and the complexion of a jaundice patient
The frantic vehemence with which, When
at last he did speak. Smith pleaded his
case to her, nearly frightened Miss Chet
wynd into hysterics ; the malignant black
scowl that twisted his ugly face till it
grew absolutely awful in its hideousness
when she unconditionally declined his
proposals and shrank away from him,
haunted her sleep for many a night after
ward. Alvarez Smith went away and thought
out his vengeance. This is how he took
it, after waiting patiently for three years.
During Wybrowe's lifetime he kept
quiet, and made no sign. When the old
man was dead, Smith broke in upon the
widow .and with fail knowledge of the
provisions of Wybrowe's will, renewed
his former propositions. They were re
jected again this time with the addition
of certain words that Helen Wybrowe
would have been more prudent not to
have spoken to such a man.
The same steamer which brought the
widow home to England had among its
passengers Alvarez Smith. He never
once spoke to her, or molested her in any
way during the voyage.; but his hungry
black eyes would rest upon her in a way
that frightened her in spite of herself.
Those eyes watched her into the rail
way carriage at Southampton ; met hers
as he got out on the platform at Waterloo;
and, again, as the doors of her sister's
house in Park-lane dosed upon her.
Every time she went abroad she met
them; sleeping and walking, Alvarez
Smith haunted her. It was intolerable ;
but what could she do ? She left town ;
he followed her. She shut herself np in
the house for days ; and the first person
she saw when, by day or by night, she
came out again was Smith; always Alvarez
Smith. Mrs. Wybrowe grew nervous and
ill under this implacable persecution,
which it was impossible to put an end to.
And the worst of it was that she felt her
persecutor was gaining a certain powei
OTer her ; that those terrible eyes of his
fascinated her like aba sUiek's. Bhe never
avowed this feeling to Lady Oswestry, her
sister, but she couldn't help confessing it
to herself.
In a few weeks after her arrival in Lon
don, old Wybrowe's lawyer communicated
the following startling Intelligence: A
person had bought np the reversionary
interest of her husband's two distant rela
tives in the income that had been left her,
subject to her remaining unmarried.
Wybrowe's kinsmen, too poor to be
troubled with many scruples, and consid
ering that it was barely likely a woman
would give up fifteen thousand pounds a
Star when she could keep it on tuch easy
rms, had greedily accepted the offer that
had been made them ; had accordingly ex
ecuted the necessary legal documents;
had received a stipulated sum down, and
had emigrated to Australia.
The person who had thus bought them
oat was, consequently, the person who
would chum the heavy forleit from Helen
Wybrowe in the event ot her marrying
again. And it was hardly needful to tefl
her that person's name. She guessed it
instinctively Alvarez Smith.
This, then, was her position ; she must
either, at one-and-twenty, condemn her
self to a life-lone widowhood, or relin
quish a magnificent income to the
she detested. True a court of law might,
as her lawyer told her, set the will aside ;
but how could a woman petition such a
court f Her woman's delicacy, at all
events, rendered that out of the question
in her case. Again, there might be men
who would think (and who could afford
to think) lightly of marrying a beggar ;
and among them there might be one
whom she could love. But, wise in her
generation, Mrs. Wybrowe built no castles
1 the air of this sort. She accepted the
situation telle qu'eUe etait ; shut herself up
no longer; went among her kind; en
countered her basilisk with an impassable
visage, and tortured her tormentor by an
ingeniously arranged sequence of flirta
tion with passed masters of the art,
II
I knew it, in that moment when oar
eyes met. I knew that I, Francis DrasdyL
world worn, case hardened, poccorantic
cynic of seven and twenty, was to love
this woman ; that I did love her already.
Rather tall, graceful as Diana in her
statuesque summer draperies, a
' Helen of the low-arch'd brow.
And amber hair, and dewy violet eyes ; "
a woman with a child's face stamped be
fore its time with the mark of passion or
of pain, a little thinner and a little paler
than it should have been, perhaps, but
withal the stronger, subtler, attraction for
me that it wan so this was Mrs. Wybrowe,
as I saw her that day.
I don't remember what she and I talked
about when we were left alone, or how
long we sat under the big beech.
I know she spoke, and that every now
and then the great violet eyes turned
slowly upon me; and, when she was
silent,
" Filled with light
The Interval ef sound."
I was in Elysium, and lost the count of
time. A step, soft and cat-like, that
neither of us heard, came down the walk.
A dry branch cracked under the cautious
tread, and then we both looked up. A
man passed us. I knew him instinctively.
The fierce black eyes, contracted in their
wrath, which met mine in one brief, vin
dictive glare, could only belong to one
man.
That lithe, dark personage with the fe
line tread, and the ugly, yellow physiog
nomy, must needs be the hero of Charles
Twhstle ton's story, the man who had
bought up the arbitrament of Helen Wy
browe's fate Alvarez Smith.
He never looked at her this time, only
at me. I wonder whether the man's in
stinct told him, even then, that I loved
her r
Mrs, Wybrowe rose, a little pale ; the
dark circle under her eyes more plainly
visible ; a sort of haunted look upon her
face that made my pulse throb angrily.
" Amy seems to have forgotten me,"
she said ; " let us go and look for her."
We walked across the croquet lawn for
a while silently.
Then she said, " Ton know that man
who passed just now t"
"I know him now," I answered; "I
never saw him before, and only heard of
his existence two hours ago."
Her pale cheeks flushed painfully.
" Then you have heard T
'Everything," I answered, stopping
her. " There is Lady Oswestry yonder.
Mrs. Wybrowe quickened her pace, and
said nothing more till she was safe under
Amy Oswestry's wing again.
III.
The season was over ; London empty
ing fast; duns pressing ; the heat intoler
able. Howbeit I abode still in the Sahara
of Bruton street. Aunt Medusa had gone
down into Kent with the Boodles, having
extracted from me a promise to come
down for the September shooting a
premise I only intended to keep if
The "if" was in Park lane. Lady Os
westry had not yet made her move, hesi
tating between Buxton aud Linderbad;
and I was watching the turn of the scale.
For with Lady Oswestry would go Helen
Wybrowe. And where Helen Wybrowe
went I meant to follow. I had not spoken
yet, though nearly at month had passed
since that day at Fulham I had marked
with a white rose. She had hardly given
me a chance. And yet she knew, who
knew me as I was, that I loved her had
loved her from the vary moment our eyes
met for the first time. And I knew my
strange, willful, passionate darling my
Helen, who was like no other I knew
she loved me with the one love of her
life. Only between her loving me and me
winning her, there was much. Neverthe
less, the mask we both wore, before each
other as before others, was getting to
stifling to be worn much longer. It fell
from both of us at last.
I had been sitting with her in Lady Os
westry's morning room, wider the shelter
of the sunshades, among the flowers, one
day for nearly an hoar. My lady was,
heaven knows where ; and we had been
alone all the time. Commonplaces had
languished and died. There had been a
silence, which those heavy violet eyes fill
ed divinely enough, but which both of us
knew must be broken ; and only in one
way.
1 looked up into her face in its passion
ate pallor; in the trembling lids I read
what made me take her swiftly in my
arms ; and then the silence was broken by
the sweet sound of her own name
" Helen t"
She shivered, as she had shivered in
that valse, only, this time, not with fear.
And her head, with its diadem of amber
hair, sank down upon my breast ; and I
bent mine till my lips touched hers, and
clung to them. I had won her t Not yet.
The next moment she had freed herself.
" Oh, why have you done this ?" she
sobbed walled almost
"Why? Because I love yon, Helen.
Because you love me. And because you
and I know this is bo."
" Yes," she murmured ; "yes ; you love
me. I know that. I knew it that day at
Fulham As no one ever has loved
ever will love me. I know that"
" And you love me, Helen. You know
that, too.'
" Yes, I love you I" she cried, passion
ately. " I know that, too."
And yet you ask me " I began, so
far osT my head as to be going to argue
with her.
" Because this should never have been.
All between us roust end here and now."
" In heaven's name, whyt" I broke in,
rather mad with this piece of feminine
cruelty. " Why must it t"
"Frank," she said, coolly now, " Frank,
this is folly. You know my story. You
cannot marry a beggar as I shall be."
" Nor you a ee gu'il parait"
" Selfish and cruel I"
Even at that moment I couldn't but
admire that truly feminine retort
Bhe went on.
"IT Am I thinking of myself t And
Set this is my molt I knew what has
appened must happen. Yes ; it is I who
have been selfish. I knew it; and I
ought . But oh, Frank, I knew you
loved me ; and my loveless life seemed so
bitter so bitter ! And "
And here she broke down sobbing.
My willful, passionate darling. She
was trying to persuade herself that she
was acting nobly and disinterestedly ; and
being noways fitted for such self-martyrdom,
was failing signally. She ought to
have nipped this love of mine sharply in
the bud, but lacked the will. And now
she was trying to sacrifice it and her own
love on the shrine of duty now when
she was my own, when she had rested
her head upon my breast when she had
given her lips to mine.
I didn't repeat my folly of attempting
to argue with her. Her hand was strong
enough against me as it was without such
strengthening. I didn't take her in my
arms again and stifle her feeble special
pleading with kisses. I let her say her
say. And then, when she had sunk back
into the low, deep fauteuil, weak and
trembling and defenceless again, I knelt
beside her ; and, holding fast in mine the
little soft white hand I never meant to let
go, I told how it must needs fare with me
if she had her way,
And I was conquer-
ins what I knew all
along was my own of
right : and the violet eves were full of
happy tears ; the words 1 looked to hear
already trembling on the full lips that
had grown meek again, when there was a
rustle of woman's draperies; and, through
the chialoscuro of the room, Lady Oswes
try bore down upon us.
And Helen rose, and before I could stay
her, had fled away swiftly upon her feet
leaving me to face my lady alone.
The which I did as best I might
For a while Lady Oswestry looked
grave and indicia! ; then, by degrees, be
nignant but mildly reproachful ; when I
took my leave, protective and honestly
propitious. It was arranged between as
that I should come to Parklane early the
next day.
At a frightfully undue hoof I drove
there. A hansom had just palled ap at
the door ; the late occupant was speaking
to the groom of the chambers in the hall.
I was just in time to hear the functiona
ry's answer to the question put to him i
"No, sir. My lady and Mrs. Wybrowe
left town for the continent last evening."
The other swung round on his heel
with a fierce "earajof" and again I stood
face to face with Alvarez Smith, the man
with the evil face.
IV.
That night some twenty minutes past
eight of the clock, my hansom, turning
the Bruton street corner at a sharp trot
was nearly cat over by another hansom
charging furiously down Bond street
The two drivers exchanged a broadside
of doable-shotted blasphemies, flogged
their horses clear of each other, and
Started again, the offending Jehu leading.
I was bound to Charing Cross, en route
to Dover, Paris and Lindenb&d, in the
track of Lady Oswestry and Helen Wy
browe ; and, in consequence of this delay,
only saved the o mail by about two
seconds. Another man, however, ran it
closer rtUL A man in a fur lined travel
ing robe, and a peaked cap pulled over
his eyes, took a through ticket to Linden
bad after me, and followed me on to the
platform, half a dozen yards behind.
I heard him hurrying after me ; just as
the guard had opened the door of the
empty carriage he caught me up and got
in too. The door was slammed, the
whistle shrieked, and the Dover mail
started.
I had dropped into one corner ; my
companion rolled himself in the opposite
one. I lit a cigar; so did he; and we
cleared London, and had run a dozen
miles down the line before I looked at
him again. I was thinking what Helen's
sudden departure boded me; whether I
was so sure of winning her, after all ; and,
deep in speculations of this sort, I had no
eyes or thought for anything else.
Besides, that shapeless traveling robe,
and that peaked cap that kept his face in
an impenetrable shadow, would have
puzzled me, even if I had had a suspicion
as to who the man in the opposite corner
a as. And in the preparations for my
sudden departure I had forgotten all about
him.
So that it was not till he tore off his
cap and flung aside his wrapper that I
knew that Alvarez Smith and I were
alone together in that carriage of the
Dover mail train ; and that he was glaring
at me with all the furious hate he felt for
me in his evil eyes.
I looked at him tranquilly enough, I
think, but I couldn't help feeling that the
rencontre was by no means an agreeable
one ; that the express stopped nowhere
between London and Dover, and that
Alvarez Smith was probably as mad as
any inmate of HanwelL
However, I am not easily pat off head,
and as I say, returned his glare with a
tranquil stare, ana went on smoking.
Whether he had expected this melodra
ma to produce more effect and was dis
appointed; whether my calmness irri
tated him afresh, I don t know. Certain
it is that he rose and came toward me
with an oath.
It struck me forcibly that he was dan
Serous, and I gradually slipped my hand
lto the inner breast pocket of my travel
ing jacket, and unfastened the loop which
kept a useful little revolver de poche steady
there.
There seemed likely to be a necessity,
disagreable but imperative, for shooting
this man before we got to Dover. And it
so happened that I felt in no humor to
run any risk by the exercise of an unwise
forbearance toward a mad brute like this,
if it came to a fight
It appeared, though, that he had some
thing to cay before he began, for he seated
himself exactly opposite to me, and mut
tered hoarsely :
"Be we are alone at last ; you and L"
"So it seems," I returned. I saw that
if he meant to have a row, he didn't feel
quite up to the mark yet and wanted to
talk himself into the necessary fury ; so
I thought I might venture to light another
cigar, which I did, loosing my grip on the
pistol but for a moment, but keeping my
eye on my man the while.
He actually gnashed his yellow teeth
at me. He looked so unutterably hideous,
and at the same time so intensely ludi
crous while he was doing it, that I
laughed.
"Take care f he screamed, shivering
with wrath. " You laugh now ; let him
laugh that wins ! Caramba, you have not
won yet."
" No ?" I inquired, insolently.
" No ! curse you t you never shall."
" Bah I who says so. my good man ?"
"Ill have sworn it ! '
" You T" I sneered, rather enjoying his
niry, and with no mind to spare him any
stab I could give him. " You ! You are
madder than I thought you were."
" You shall never have her ! Madre de
JHoel never."
" You're wrong. I thaU.
He smiled in a ghastly fashion with his
white, dry lips.
"No," he said, and if his tone was
calmer, it was twice as " dangerous " and
threatening now. "No I I shall keep my
oath be sure of that Listen I" he went
on, after a pause, and with that same
forced calmness; "from the day I saw
her first and each day more and mora,
I have loved her1 this woman, who'"
" Who, from that same day, and each
day more and more, has loathed and
hated you." I struck in. "Well?"
By the light of the lamp above us I
could see his yellow face turn the ashen
hue of a dead man's, as that cruel taunt
of mine hit home.
He covered his face with his hands and
uttered a faint dull moan, as though he had
in very deed got his death hurt
The crisis was evidently approaching ;
the mmirnan could hardly contain him
self much longer. In another minute he
might.be at my throat ; and then, disagree
able as it would be, I should inevitably
have to shoot him Alvarec Smith was
by no means the sort of person to stand
on much ceremony with whan the in
stincts he inherited from the Spanish
creole of a mother of his were in the
ascendant ; and it was his life or mine. I
began to think. I drew the revolver
quietly out of my pocket and covered him
from my knee in anticipation of his rash.
" Now," he hissed " will you promise
me never to marry this woman f
" I'll see you in Gehenna first!"
"You will not?"
" Confound you, no ! But IU promise
Sou this," I added, as I saw him crouch
lg like a jaguar for a spring at my
throat " that madman or no madman, if
you lay a finger on me, I will shoot you
in your tracks without further warning."
Raising my right hand quickly, I cov
ered him fairly now. My amiable com
panion dropped back into his seat with a
hideous Spanish blasphemy, most unex
pectedly baffled and beaten.
" That's right," I said, considerably re
lieved to find he was not so mad as to
have lost all fear for himself, and put me
under the painful necessity of winging
him; " of coarse yoa didn't expect me to
be so well able to take care of myself; and
I suppose you've only a knife. I don't
much think you'll kill me to-night, after
all, though we are alone, etc., as you were
good enough to remind me just now."
"Oh!" he snarled, "I snail kill you
yet!"
" I differ with you there. My own im
pression is that you'll be in Hauwell or
C hare n ton before long. Meanwhile, let
me advise yoa not to try this again, it
you do, remember, I've warned you."
He flung a curse at me, and, turning away,
rolled himself up in his cloak, and never
moved again till the mail ran into the
Dover station. Then he rose suddenly,
opened the door, sprang onto the plat
form, and disappeared.
V.
"And so you ran away from, me, ¬
ear'"
It was some three or four hoars after
my arrival in Linden bad. I had forced
the consignee, carried Lady Oswestry's
rooms in the Russia by storm, utterly dis
comfiting the garrison by the suddenness
and vigor of my assault insomuch that
after a brief, hopeless struggle, it surren
dered at discretion. My darling had
spoken the words that bound her life to
mine forever.
Under the summer stars, in the hush of
the summer night she and i were sitting
on the balconv of their room that over
looked the river and the purple woods
beyond ; at her feet as I loved best to sit
and watch toe great violet eyes turn Slow
ly on me ; at her feet with her hand m
mine again.
" And so you "ran away from me, Hel
en" "What else could I do f I was so weak
with you, Frank ; so weak against my
love. And, for your sake, I felt it ought
not to be. So I ran away. It was terri
ble work to get Amy to start that night,
though ! She was horribly cruel to me ;
she fought for yoa. How I loved her
when she did ! Bat I would go ; and so
we went"
" And then yoa thought yoa were
safer"
""Safer. Away from you I was strong."
"And did yoa think you would be out
of my reach long f
She gave me a smile, delicious as a ca
ress. Then she said :
"Out sail! I thou eh t vou would come
but not so soon. Not till I should have
time to harden my heart 1 knew I was
doing right Frank. But I thought too,
that 1 might never see you again. And
then her face told me the rest
" Enfant ! What had you to do with it
right or wrong, if you loved me t You
were mine. How could you ever think I
should let you go ? Let you go, who have
given me new faith, new hope, new life
made life precious to me, now how could
IT Helen, my Helen, nothing can take
you from me now. You cannot take your
self from me."
From my arms, where she had nestled,
on a sodden she started.
"There!" she whispered, pointing to
the deserted river walk; "there I Did
you not see him t"
On her face, yet wet with happy tears,
had come the haunted loot once more
in her voice was the old fear, though m;
arms and my love were about her.
knew what had done this ; the sight of a
man for whom I was beginning to feel
something of the hate that kills.
"I saw no one, you know. And if
Alvarez Smith wants to do me a mischief,
why on earth should he turn out and do
melodrama in the moonlight, threaten me
with imaginary daggers, and that sort of
thing, to put me on my guard r
" I saw him standing there," and she
pointed again straight before her.
" And how was he dressed ?"
"In a short cloak, it seemed. 1 saw
him throw It back when he lifted his arm."
"And then he disappeared where?"
"Into the thadow of the trees."
That was perfectly possible. A couple
of strides would take any one out of
sight who had stood even in the centre
of the broad allee.
H Helen had really seen Alverez Smith,
he might be hidden in that shadow even
now, watching us. My blood began to
stir at this.
I had been just a week in the Bad when
the denouement of this story came oat
We had gone up the river one morning
in a "hen coop," had landed some three
miles or so above Lindenbad, and strolled
away, oat of sight of the boatman, along
the bank, down to which extended the
low scrub and bushwood of the forest
We sat down on a sort of a little crag
which overhung the river, and from which
Helen had discovered a view which she
was doing her best to sketch under an or-
Eimzed series ot interruptions rrom me.
ying there at her feet, watching her
eyes, and drinking in her voice, thinking
of that new life she had given me, and
that was precious to me for her sake, I
was terribly near my death.
There was hardly a breath of air astir ;
and yet, all at once, my pot hat that was
tilted over my eyes to keep off the sun
glare, rolled away lazily over the turf,
dipped, so neatly and lightly that I hardly
leit it, on my head.
A sharp crack and a little puff of white
smoke rising above a clump of brushwood
explained this phenomenon.
1 saw at once what it meant. I was on
my feet, and half way across to the cover
which sheltered my would-De assassin in
a couple of bounds Another bullet
whizzed by my ear, and then I had
sprung into the thicket struck by one
lucky blow a smoking revolver from the
shaking hands, and flown at the throat of
Alverez Smith.
It was well I had lost no tune ; he sot
no chance ot using his suite
1 heard Helen scream, and then saw
her fall lifeless on the turf where we had
been sitting, and then I was wrestling for
dear me with a madman. lie had no
science, but he held me like a fiend. I cut
him off his legs again and again ; but he
clung so desperately to me that I couldn't
drop him Each fresh struggle brought
us nearer and nearer the edge of the
little crag. I guessed what he wanted to
do, and put all my remaining strength
mto one fierce, desperate enort to rung
him.
This time he went down, but mv foot
had slipped on the dry, short turf, and he
managed to pull me down upon him.
1 telt his arms close round me in a grip
ot steel as he twisted and writhed toward
the edge ; I heard his yell of diabolical
triumph in my ears ; knew that we must
roll over ; felt the mad rush of air by me ;
telt a shock that seemed to stun me ; and
then, locked in each other's arms, the
water closed over us like a thick dark
ness.
He must have struck against something
in the fall, and have been dead or stunned
when he reached the water.
In a second I had wrenched myself
free from that deadly grip, had risen to
the surface, and was striking out for the
bank. Ten minutes more and 1 was kneel
ing beside Helen, slowly recovering her
consciousness under the sympathizing
care ot a forest-keeper s wire.
The body of Alvarez Smith was picked
np next day. He had disguised himseli
so well while waiting his opportunity to
settle matters with me, as to have eluded
detection by the Polizei-Amt, but I was
able to swear unhesitatingly to his identi
ty, and did, with some pardonable satis
faction.
He is believed to have left no one to ex
act the forfeit from Helen Wybrowe when
she marries me ; and, supposing his bar
gain with the original claimants to nave
been a lawful one, there is an end, you
see, of "Wybrowe's WW.' Lanaon bo
dety.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Tub Dreams fob Htjnokt Men Pro
visions.
Bethlehem, Perm., has a hand fire-en
gine built in 1698.
The French population of Vermont
numbers 15,491 persona.
The inn-experienced make the best ho
tel servants.
Missouri has 937 miles of railroad, cost
ing $51,000,000.
California produces 3,000,000 pounds
ot quicsBiiver annually.
Dividends are applied in the Washing
ton Life to make the policies larger.
At a late fire in Pitchburg, Mass., a
steamer played for thirty-six consecutive
hours.
Tht.re are twenty-one prisoners in the
North Indiana state prison who are sen
tenced for life.
Thb stockholders of the Washington
only receive the interest their own money
Sevsntt-vtvh brides sat down to din
ner on a recent Sunday at one hotel at
Niagara Falls.
The winner of a floating match at Long
Branch lay on his back three hours and
forty minutes.
Wht are pimples on a drunkard's face
like the cats in a London paper ? They
are illustrations Of Punch.
The Romanist population of the
French Empire is 36,800,664 ; the Prot
estant, 1,501,150; the jewian, ioo,4.
Why are country girls' cheeks like a
good calico dress t Because they are war
ranted to wash and retain their color.
A fane of glass seventeen feet high
and ten feet wide, lately set up in New
York, is considered the largest in the
country.
Several young men of good families
in New York have been taken to the
Binghampton Asylum to be cured of
drunkenness.
On a gate-post in front of a farm house
near Indianapolis, is a sign which says
" No life insurance nor sewing machines
wanted here."
A servant girl, in Toledo, frustrated a
burglar's plans by throwing him out of a
garret window to the sidewalk. He nev
er recovered from the shock.
Gen. J. T. Pratt, of Wethersfleld, has
been a member of the Connecticut Legis
lature for fourteen sessions, and during
them all has only been absent ten days.
A discriminating young lad of our ac
quaintance says that he likes a rainy day
one that is too rainy to go to school,
and just rainy enough to go a-fishing.
Thb latest style in gold bracelets is in
the shape of a fluted muslin cuff, and is
made of burnished gold with a diamond
button, and a ruby button hole.
" How about the small pox excitement
up yomr way t" asked one countryman of
another. ' Oh I" was the reply, " it's dy
ing out with the patients."
Benjamin Oris wold, of Cambridge,
Vt, now in his 78th year, has just finish
ed reading his Bible through, by course,
for the one hundred and thirteenth time.
Dr. Lb wis Satrb, of New York city,
has written a pamphlet, describing three
cases of lead palsy, resulting to ladies
from the use of cosmetics containing a
lead poison.
A smart young lawyer's clerk, hearing
it stated by a lecturer that " man is mere
ly a machine," remarked, " I suppose an
attorney may , be called a rating ma
chine."
A flmalk factory operative of Water
ville, Me., died, a short time since, from
the use of jute switches. The autopsy
revealed the tact that the bkuu nau Deen
perforated by vermin, and the brain par
tially eaten away.
A woman of Troy was lately brought
before a justice, charged with stealing a
sum of money rrom her husband, she
was dismissed on the ground that a wife
could not steal from her husband.
Edwin Forrest, at the age of sixty-
four, has recently concluded an eight
months' season, in which he has traveled
over six thousand miles, played in ntty
two towns, and averaged five perform
ances a week.
Or six hundred and twenty-two mur
ders committed in New York during
the thirteen years ending with 1868, the
perpetrators of one hundred and fifty-five,
or one-quarter of the whole number, nave
never been discovered.
The champion shoemakers live at Lynn,
so far as length of service is concerned.
Edmund Lewis and James Barney have
worked at the trade seventy-one and sev
enty years respectively, and now work
every day.
A last recently deceased in New Hamp
shire has left $300,000 to found a college
for young women, wherein they shall be
taught all the higher branches of educa
tion enjoyed by male students in other
establishments.
The English Daoers report that in an
action brought against the proprietors of
Lloyd's paper for damages for not insert
ing a newspaper advertisement correctly,
the verdict was for the defendant with
costs, on account of the illegibility of the
writing.
What is the chief use of bread?"
asked an examiner at a school exhibition.
" The chief use of bread ?" answered the
urchin, apparently astonished at the sim
plicity of the inquiry. " Why, to spread
butter and molasses on."
Abb you not ashamed to beg T" said
the philosopher Montague to a strong,
healthy beggar, who was soliciting alms,
" you are certainly able to work. " O,
sir," was the knave's rejoinder, " if you
only knew how lazy I am !"
A tocno Italian, by the name of Brado,
who is a clerk at Indianapolis, has lately
fallen heir to 11,000,000, a rich Italian
having left his fortune of $2,000,000 in
fold to his two nephews, who proved to
e Brado and his brother.
A bowbx intending to he witty, thus
accosted a lady in the street : " Madam,
can yoa inform me where I can see the
elephant?" "No, but if I had a looking-
flass I could show you a very large mon
ey." The rowdy sloped.
. A robust hod-carrier in New Hamp
shire, recently, carried a barrel of floor
from the sidewalk to the third story of a
new building, and retained with it upon
his shoulder to the street where he sold
the flour for eight dollars, and received a
handsome sum from the lookers-on.
Thb old proverb says, " every man is a
physician or a fool at forty." Sir Harry
Halford, a distinguished physician, hap
pening to quote this old saw to a circle of
friends, among, whom was Canning, the
latter inquired, " Sir Harry, mayn't he be
both?"
A man in Concord, N. H, has in his
possession a biscuit which was set upon
the table at the collation given on Lafay
ette's visit to that city in 1885. It is ob
long in shape, has stamped upon it the
words, "Welcome, General Lafayette,"
and many of the letters can still be distin
guished. A Storm Laxb correspondent of the
Fort Dodge Time says : "We had a vis
itor here from the East, a few weeks ago,
looking for a section of land he had pur
chased. Said he paid $4.50 per acre.
Upon inquiry, it was ascertained that he
had bought all of Section 10, which lies
in the centre of the lake."
A toll gate keeper was recently
brought before a magistrate on the charge
of cruelly treating his daughter. He had
discovered that the girl, who was fre-
Suentiy left in charge of the gate, used to
How her sweetheart a young butcher, to
drive his cart through free. Bhe never
tolled her love.
A Saratoga tombstone bears this in
scription: "Emma, dau'r of Abraham
and Matilda Cox, and wife of Theodore
Bchallehn, died August 10, 1868, .aged 28
years, leaving five children married too
young, against her father's will. Single
women take warning."
A gentleman in conversation with Dr.
Johnson, having, to some of the usual ar
guments for drinking, added this, "Yoa
know, sir, drinking drives away care, and
makes us forget whatever is disagreeable.
Would you not allow a man to drink for
that reason V "Yes, sir, if he sat next
you," replied Dr. Johnson.
At Lt Roy, Minn., one hot day, a switch
had been opened for the purpose of letting
la a freight train, and when it became
necessary to change the switch back to the
main track the rails had expanded so
much by the action of the sun's rays that
it could not be done. Cold water was
poured upon several sections of the track,
cooling off the iron and allowing the
switch to be shut
A clergyman in Washington county,
Me., driving along a lonely road, overtook
a countryman on foot, whom he invited
to ride. After the crops had been dis
cussed, the clerical gentleman asked his
companion "If he was prepared to die? "
whereupon the countryman leaped from
the wagon and fled to a place of safety,
doubtless considering this question
synonymous with " Your money or your
life?"
Medical statisticians of England and
France have discovered that laborers in
copper works almost always escape chol
era and diarrhea, only one oat of 1270
being attacked during the epidemic in
1865-6 in France, while among workers
in iron and steel one out of every 209 was
attacked, and of those engaged in other
metals than copper and iron one out of
1T8.
A Rochester paper tells a romantic
story of a young dressmaker who became
infatuated with a young man without his
knowledge. To make herself worthy of
him she took to study, and, after a severe
course of French, Italian, and piano, dur
ing which she worked at her occupation,
and only slept three hours out ofthe
twenty-four, the young man married
another girl. The blow was too much
for the young lady's reason, and she is
now an inmate of an insane asylum.
The Dubuque Time says that George
Ade, of that city, was the owner of a dog
that had actually saved four human be-
inc-s from drowning, in consideration of
which distinguished service " the Mayor's
oroclamation during the dog days, warn
ing all cars, of high or low degree, to
- - m, MN ,,r ln.fr. mfr AmtU
never applied to him, and he was granted
the freedom of the city;" notwithstand
ing which, he was shot by somebody who
could not resist tho temptation to make
fifty cents.
Thb Keokuk Gate Oity says : " One ef
our well known grocers bought a nice lot
of honey and had it in his store for sale.
He noticed all day Saturday that the bees
were flying in and out rather lively, and
making free with his honey. He ' shoo
died ' them in at mild way with a brush.
That was all. He left the honey then
over Sunday. He went down Monday to
find every drop of that honey gone, and a
small swarm there trying to carry off the
wax. There is some beeswax for sale
cheap at that store."
A colored man recently sjsjiMad to a
prominent gentleman rtaeJaBs. oa Fifth
avenue, New York, for a letter of recom-
dation, by means of which he hoped to
obtain a situation. The man, being well
known to the gentleman in question, the
testimonial was reaolly given, it was
even more complimentary than Scipio
himself had expected, and that worthy, oa
recovering from his astonishment ex
claimed : " Say, Mr. , won't you give
me something to do yourself on that rec
ommendation T"
A Fifth Avenue Hotel waiter was dis
charged the other day, and vented his
spite by advertising in the New York pa
pers for 500 Irishmen to go to France ;
application to be made at Room 68, Fifth
Avenue Hotel. Result the halls and cor
ridors of the hotel were filled, by 10
o'clock, with hundreds of applicants so
crowding the guests and visitors of the
house, that there was a necessity of clear
ing the intruders oat ; aad it was not un
til they were put oat that the proprietors
knew to what circumstance they were in
debted for such a i i leasee i , .
Ah eccentric Parisian recently died,
who had travelled all over the world aad
spent fifty years to secure materials for a
work on humpbacks, which he left in
2,000 sheets, with numerous drawings aad
curious observations. He discovered that
humpbacks are. most numerous in the
temperate zone in Europe, and that the
bumps have some connection with the
formation of the country where they are
found, those in the Pyrenees showing the
angular, jigged shape of the mountains,
while those on the sea coast have a gentle
descent on one side.
Ah old man, of very respectable appear
ance, has of late been swindling the store
keepers of New York city in a novel
manner. It is his custom to ask to be ac
commodated with a $5 bill for that amount
in currency, as he wishes a bill to sead in
a letter to his son, who is at school in the
country. He has the letter already direct
ed and a stamp on it In counting the
currency it is usually short ten cents. The
old man is very sorry, but as he passes
the store almost every day, he will hand
it in, which he never does, and thus makes
ten, fifteen, or twenty-five cents, as the
case may be, out of each storekeeper who
may be generous enough to give him the
$5 bill.
At a tea party in Washington, where
General Butler was a guest, the- fibetesa,
glancing over the table, perceived his
cup unfurnished with ap important im
plement of which he was supposed to ap
preciate the value. " Why, General But
ler," she exclaimed, in a little womanish
flutter of consternation, " Haven't you a
spoon t " "No, indeed, madame !" quickly
responded the General, springing from his
Stat with well acted earnestness,
and slapping his peckets, one after
the other, "upon ray word, mad
ame ; if yoa don't believe me, mad
ame, yoa may search me!" The ap
plause which greeted this spontaneous .
sally " may be more easily imagined than
described.
Thb Gettysburg, Pa., Star tolls the fol
lowing story i " One day last week a little
son of Daniel Musselman, near Fairfield,
aged about eight years, was oat picking
blackberries ; a large black snake, unseen
by him, coiled itself around his legs, as he -was
nicking berries through a fence.
The little fellow, finding himself a pris
oner, and no help near, showed ngnt
caught his snakeship by the neck, and
choked it until he got two small stones,
when putting his head on one, with the
other he soon had the snake dead. Then
freeing himself of it he went to picking
berries again. The snake was of the racer
species, from four to five feet long. The
little fellow's legs showed marks of the
squeeze for several days."
Ingenious.
Well, three men suddenly rushed for
ward, determined, as they swore with a
dreadful imprecation, to have the money
or. the lives of the travelers.
Spare our lives, take all I have," said
it is," offering a handiul ot
silver ; " but my companion has a larger
sum hid away in his left boot"
" Traitor I exclaimed the other ; while
the highwaymen, with blackened faces
and cocked pistols, proceeded to take off
his boots.
" If you've spoken false," shouted one
of the marauders, " I'll give yoa an ounce
of lead for your pains."
"He's spoken truth," responded the
searcher. "Here's a prise! a hundred
pounds in Bank of England notes."
Securing the prize, the two travelers
were blindfolded, and bound to the fioger
post, while the horse was taken out of
the gig, and turned loose upon the com
mon. It was an hour before they were
released from their position, during which
period the ill-used victim vented his
imprecations pretty loudly.
Upon reaching the next town, where a
deposition was made before the magis
trate, the worthy justice commented in
rather a severe strain upon the base con
duct of the wretch who could act so
treacherous a part
"Hear my palliation," meekly said the
accused. ....
" Ob, stand down 1 responded the man
In authority. ,t
" One word (" continued the other, toy
object in the declaration I made was not
to screen myself at another's expense. I
knew that my companion had a hundred
pounds hid in his boot I bad twelve
hundred pounds in my waistband. Had
J been searched that turn must have been
discovered. I thought it better to sacri
fice the smaller to the larger sum. 1 rw
return the money I was the means of his
being deprived of, and in future recom
mend him to be more prudent in keeping
his Own counsel."
"Ma," said a youngster in a grocery
store, "if I oat these green apples will
they make me sickf" " Yes, I am afraid
they will," replied the mother. "If I eat,
them both will they make me ajck r'
"Yes, yea 1" impatiently replied the moth
er. "Well, then," and the juvenile drop
ped tho smallest "I'll eat one anyhow,
I'm willing to be half sick." ,

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