Newspaper Page Text
, L. O. GOULD, Publisher. Devoted to the Interests of the Democratic Party, and the Collection of Local and General News. Two Dollars per Annum, in AdTance,
VOL. VI.-NO. 43. EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY, AUGUST 14, 1873. WHOLE NUMBER 329.
THE LAW OF DEATH.
BY JOHN HAY.
The song of Kilvany. Fairest she
In all the land of Savatthi.
She had one child, as sweet and gay
And dear to her as the light of day.
Nbe was so young, and he so fair,
The same bright eyes and the same dark hair,
To see them by the bloesomy way
They meemed two children at their play.
There came a death-dart from the sky.
Kilvany saw ber darling die.
The glimmering shade his eyes invades ;
Out of his cheek the red bloom fades ;
His warm heart feels the icy chill.
The round limbs shudder and are still.
And yet Kilvany held him fast
Ijong after life'a last pulse was past
As if her kisses could restore
The smile gone ont for evermore.
Bat when she saw her child was dead
Sue scattered ashes on her head,
And seized the small corpse, pale and sweet,
And rushing wildly through the street,
Bhe sobbing fell at Buddha's feet.
" Master I all-helpful I help me now I
Here at thy feet I humbly bow ;
Have mercy, Buddha I help me now !"
She groveled on the marble floor.
And kissed the dead child o'er aid o'er.
And suddenly upon the air
There fell the answer to her prayer ,
" Bring me to-night a Lotus tied
"With thread from a house where none has died.'
She rose, and laughed with thankful joy.
Bore that the god would save the boy.
She found a Lotus by the stream :
Bhe plucked it from its noonday dream,
And then from door to door she fared,
To ask what house by death was spared
Her heart grew cold to see the eyes
Of all dilate with slow surprise :
" Kilvany, thou bast lost thy head ;
Nothing can help a child that's dead.
There stands not by the Ganges' side
A house where none hath ever died."
Thus through the long and weary day
From every door she bore away
Within her heart, and on her arm,
A heavier load, a deeper harm.
By gates of gold and ivory,
By wattled hnts of poverty,
The same refrain, heard poor Kilvany,
3'he living art ftathe dead ore many.
The evening came, so still and fleet.
And overtook her hurrying feet,
And, heart-eick, by the sacred fane
She fell, and prayed the god again.
Bhe sobbed and beat her bursting breast: a
" Ah ! thou hsst mocked me 1 Mightiest !
Lo 1 1 have wandered far and wide-
There stands no house where none hath died."
And Buddha answered, in a tone
Soft as a flute at twilight blown,
But grand as heaven and strong as drath
To him who hears with ears of faith :
" Child, thou art answered ! Murmur not !
Bow, and accept the common let."
Kilvany heard with reverence meet,
And laid her child at Buddha's feet. '
Scribner's for August.
THE MEN WHO FACE DEATH.
Don't you go and make any mistake !
The pictures in the comic papers, and
all the rest of the jokes about police
men, may be all very well in their way,
and I can laugh myself at a good joke
at the expense of the force, bat for all
that there is not so much, in them as
some of the would-be sharp ones make
ont. Most of 'em are as stale as they
well can be, and though for anything I
know they may have been to the point
sometime, they ain't now-a-days, not by
a long way. There's a saying about liio
being all beer and skittles, and you may
take my word for it that life ain't all
cupboard courtship for a policeman.
Even if he had the inclination for it, his
superiors would take precious good care
that he didn't spend his time on duty
making love to cooks and feeding in gen
tlemen's kitchens. That may be very
well in pantomime, but it's about as
much the real thing as pantomime fish
and carrots are, and, whatever people
may think, policemen don't always come
up just when the fight is over, and it
isn't only women and little boys that
they collar I should like to see some
of them that talk that way have to
tackle some of the customers that we
have to do ; they'd mighty soon alter
their tone, I expect. Why, taking it all
through, there are few businesses as are
more risky than a policeman's. In
plenty of neighborhoods he goes on duty
with his life in his hand. People read
and talk about the dangerous classes,
but it is the policeman that has to deal
with 'em, and it's him as knows how
dangerous they are. They know wheth
er it's only women or boys we collar';
they know who lays them by the heels,
and they remember it with a vengeance.
" Revenge is sweet," is a motto with a
good many of them, and when they are
loose they will .often go a long way to
have it on the man that has been the
means of caging them that was how I
came by the gash you see on the side of
my face here.
1 had got a customer two years ago
for stealing lead, and I was one of those
that escorted him to the van after he
was sentenced, and as we passed along
he growls out to me under his breath,
" You scored this chalk, but you may
lay odds that I'll score the next, if I
have to die for it."
I could tell that he meant what he
said, and I bore it in my mind. When
he was out again, I kept well on my
guard, whenever x saw him lurking
about ; but at length he was too sharp
One rather foggy night I was passing
the top of a dark side street, when hear
ing a rush, I wheeled around as quickly
as I could but it was too late. I just
caught sight of the scoundrel making a
swing hit at me with a bottle tied in a
handkerchief, and the next instant I was
stretched senseless. I Bhall carry the
mark of the blow to the crave with, me.
as you may see, and it was very nigh
carrying me to the grave ; I was within
half an inch of death, as you may say.
for had it been half an inch more on the
temple it would have been an end of me,
As it was it laid me up for about three
. months, but beyond marking me, it did
me no permanent harm.
When I got on duty again I said noth
ing, but made up my mind that there
should be a third chalk to the game be
tween me and the fellow that struck the
blow. He had bolted as soon as he had
done it, and hadn't been heard of since
but for all that I felt quite sure he would
turn up in his old lurk again, sooner or
later, for his wife and all his companions
were there. So I watched and watched,
and sure enough, at the end of a couple
of vears. I spotted him again. I found
out that he bad only been back
week, when I caught sight of him,
and so I didn't try to flutter the news
too soon. I let three months go by, so
that he might think he was all right,
and then I went in to score my next
I reported him, and half a dozen of
us were told off to take him. Three
went into the house after him, and two
kept watch in the front, and I took my
stand at the back, the way he was
likeliest to come if he managed to
. . .
make a run for it. As it turned out
he did make a run, or at any rate he
got a start.
It was a low-built house, and before
those who went in could get up stairs
he dropped out of the bed-room window,
coming down safely on his feet but be
fore he could take to his heels I was
facing him, my right hand holding
my staff ready-drawn behind my back,
my left hand ready to collar him.
" Oh, it's you, is it ?" he grinds out
between his teeth, and before I could
say a word or move an inch, he whipped
out a large clasp-knife. I could see
murder in his eye, and I dashed in at
once to seize, him ; but before I could
lay hold of hrm he had gashed my hand
to the bone -and then it was my turn.
He was drawing back to make a running
Btab at me, when, quick as lightning, i
and all the strength I could put into it,
I swung around my right arm and
caught him with the staff in the face,
felling him like a bullock. He was
quite senseless, and by the time the '
others got round I had him quietly
handcuffed. When we got him to the
station we sent for a doctor to dress his
wound, but he wouldn't have it touched,
and insisted on being taken into court
next morning without being washed and
his face all marked ; but though he cer
tainly looked horrible enough, he didn't
make anything by his move. He was
well known, and besides, though I
struck with a will, I struck in self-defense
and for life. He had penal servi
tude, and didn't live to do his time
That is the sort of a customer a po
liceman has sometimes to tackle, and he
never knows the day or hour he may
have to tackle. Men as are wanted will
generally come' quiet enough when they
find they are fairly dropped upon ; but
still you can never be quite certain of
them ; if the drink or the evil is in them
at the time, they may take it into their
heads to show fight, and when they do,
they're not particular as to trifles the
first thing that comes handy they'll use.
But, as I said before, it's when they go
in for being revenged on you that they
are most dangerous. It isn't a case of
fighting then ; they don't give you the
chanee to fight ; they creep upon you
in the dark for choice and aro up to
all sorts of cruel, cowardly ways of lam
ing a man. Many a fine man has been
made a cripple for life, in doing, or for
having done his duty as a policeman,
and some have been killed outright.
Then see how a policeman has to go
into a row and take his chance of what
may happen from interfering with wild
or drunken men with their blood up ;
again, see how he has to go into a house
where " murder 1" is being shouted,
and where, perhaps, the first thing that
meets his sight is a man more than half
mad, slashing right and left with a
poker. Then there is being at fires, and
being out in all kinds of weather, so
that what with one thins: and what with
another, a policeman's is both a hard
job and a risky one. If there's any one
as thinks it ain't risky, just ask any po
liceman's wife as cares for her husband,
how often she has lain awake, fearing
something might happen to him, when
he's been on night duty in a bad quar
ter. What class of criminals are the most
dangerous for policemen to have to deal
with ? Well, I hardly know ; the regu
lars, or " habitual criminals," as they
are called, are mucn oi a mucnness. a
sneak-thief may turn Turk upon you,
while a burglar or garroter, as you might
think likely to show fight, will often let
himself be took as quietly as a xamo.
The chance cases are often rough ones.
A mad-drunk sailor ain't a nice custom
er to handle, and a mad-drunk soldier-
especially when he takes to the belt is
a decidedly nasty one ; and sometimes
your swindling clerk or aDsconaing
bankrupt will show his teeth pull his
... , i i i
pistol, or pick up a decanter or a ciiair,
and talk of knocking your brains out if
you lay hands on him ; though of course
we do lay Hands on em ior ail mat. xi
you dash in boldly at them they gener
ally Knock under. ,
Conners used to be about the worst,
but there's not many about now. There
is one customer, however, as is more
likely than not to make a fight of it be
fore he'll be taken, and as is generally a
rough un to fight, and that is the es
caped convict It's generally a rough
and desperate hand that does manage to
escape, and one that's dreadfully fond
of his liberty, and knows that if he is
took again he may bid a long good-Dye
tn it. A cnntleman of that stamp crave
me the toughest tussle I ever had, and
the one I'm proud of, for I fought him
fair and took him single-handed. When
he made his escape he got clear away,
and he had sense enough not to nark
back again to his old Jjondon haunts
while the search was hot : but about a
fear afterward he did venture back, and
accidentally got wind of it.
1 knew that tnere was nve pounds ior
any one that took mm. and x nau
pretty good idea that the governor of the
prison he had Droke out oi wouid hiuiiu
something more : but more than all
that. 1 weu, I may as wen say it x
had not been long in the force at the
time, and 1 wanted to show that J. had
something in me ; and so. though
could have asked for help, I made up
mv mind to try and take him myself.
was twenty-seven at the time, stood five
foot eleven, weighed twelve stone
good fighting weight and, though I say
it that shouldn't, the convict, escaped or
unescaped, didn t breathe that 1 feared
to take single-handed.
It was not of the man himsen that
was afraid, though 1 knew he was
Tartar : what made the job so risky was
the danger of. being Bet upon by the
whole of the gang to which he belonged,
and who always went about together,
and would, I knew, think nothing of
murdering a policeman. I waited a few
weeks to see what chance might turn up.
and at length one afternoon I heard that
the gang had picked up some sailors
and were spreeing with them in a public
house some little distance from their
regular lurk ; and thinking to myself
that I might wait long enough without
finding any much better opportunity,
determined to try my luck there and
then, and down to this public-house
There was no one then particular
the bar, and so I passed through to the
back, and there in a shut-in skittle alley
caught sight of the gang, eight in
number, and with three sailors in tow.
felt qualmish, but X knew that it
wouldn't do to give way to that feeling,
and so seeing my gentleman there in
the midst as large as life, I put on my
boldest face, bounced into the alley, and
shutting the door, placed my back
gainst it. Though the gang were
taken by surprise, they acted cleverly
enough; they didn't know which of
them was wanted, and neither of them
said a word or moved an inch, but
noticed my man pick up a beer-pot
and make a pretence of sipping at it,
though I could see easy enough that his
real move was to be ready to fling it at
my head if it should turn out that he
was the man wanted.
I caught his eve, and in an off-handed
tone said :
" Oh, you know it's you I've come for
then ; but take my advice, don't do any
thing in the pot-throwing line. It will
only make things worse for you, for the
house is surrounded, and there are men
enough in reserve to take a houseful of
I shall make it death or glory this
time," he answered, " and so here goes;
and as he spoke the words, he threw
the pot as hard as he could, and then
made a dash for a window at tne end oi
the alley. The pot just skimmed my
ear, and then I was on him like a pan
ther, and dragged him back just as he
had got about half out the window. I
downed him, and had all but mastered
him, when one of the gang, that had
popped out as soon as soon as my back
was from the door, came running back
to tell the others that it was au gammon
about there being a reserve. This was
enough for them. Without another
word said, they made a rush towards
me, and, though I still held my man,
my heart grew cold, a prayer flashed
through my mind, for .1 felt that I was
face to face with death. I knew that
they'd stick at nothing, and that the
very same gang had kicked a man to
death only a few months before. But I
was in luck.
I would have called to the sailors for
help, but they looked helplessly drunk,
and two of em was, but the third, as it
happened, was only half-seas over. He
was a lig lump ot a leiiow, a Yankee
mate, as I knew afterwards, and about
as cool and bold a card as there well
could be. As they sprang forward, so-
did he, in an aggravating son or way.
Uentlemen, fair play is a jewel, and x
like to see it respected and bo I will.
They are man to man, and pretty fairly
matched, and if the officer can take him
he shall." Whether or not he would
have fired at them, they must have be
lieved so, for they slunk back. All the
same, they had done a good thing for
While this had been going on I had.
without knowing it, slackened my hold,
and mv man putting out all his strength
in a sudden move, threw me off, and got
on to his feet, and before I could close
with him again, had drawn a life pre
server. He made a dash at me with it,
and aimed a crushing blow at my head.
Fortunately it only reached my leit
shoulder, but even there it was a cnp
pler for the time being, for I felt my
arm drop useless at my side, ne stag
gered a bit from partly missing his blow,
and before he could recover nimseix x
was alongside of him, and he went over
like a mnepin, and held up his hands to
have the bracelets put on.
It was only about a two minutes job
altogether, but it was mighty tough one,
I can tell you, and a dangerous one
too ; and what I say is, that when people
talk about policemen, they should re
member that they never know the day
or hour when, in the way of duty, they
may have to tackle a job in which their
hie is at stake. vasseu 8 Magazine.
Yesterday a Park street man thought
he would use his garden-hose. In fact,
this is a thought which strikes him reg
ularly three times a day, and his neigh
bors reckon he has lowered the Leices
ter reservoir elven inches himself since
April 1. So he got his hose and screwed
it together, and put a piece of paper
around the pipe to keep it from leaking,
and Bridget -turned on the water for him,
and as he squirted away calmly at a post
on the opposite side of the street, a grat
ified smile rose softly on his manly
features, like the glow of a pumpkin pie
just out of the oven. And he didn't
wet himself much, either, only one
boot and his false wristbands. By-and-
by his wife called him in to supper, and
he left his hose squirting on the lawn, so
as not to lose any time, and went right in.
His f our-vear-old son stayed behind and
took up the hose and began to play at
that post across the street, and squirted
the water all over ueacon uurcneu, wno
happened to be going by on the nearest
sidewalk. Then the Deacon set up a
yell like a nitro-glycerine explosion, and
the father came out of his house and
went for that boy, and the four-year-old
calmly turned the hose lull upon tne
author of his being, and that man almost
immediately became wetter than the
author of anybody s oeing has been
since the days of Noah. The water
strnck his clean shirt-bosom,, and mean
dered silently but speedily down his
boot-lees, and the pockets of his new
summer suit filled up. and the hair-oil
all came out of his head and ran down
the back of his neck, and the only thing
about him that was not cool was the
words that came out of his mouth. He
is now dry, but that four-year-old re
ceived a lesson in logic last evening,
with illustrations in the argument a pos
teriori, which he will remember until he
has reached the age of forty-four.
The robust managing editor of the
Pittsburgh Disvatch toils with the flan
nel conundrum. A year ago he bought
a full suit of white flannel. After
the first washing his son, who
weighs 102 pounds less than the father,
found the suit just fitted him. Two
more washings made them just the size
of his five-year old, and at the end
the season there was not enough
them for a good-sized dishcloth. Where
has all that flannel gone to r lie sayi
he would willingly take his whole family
and his mother-in-law to a lecture which
would explain it, and pay double price,
Darwin is a member of the Church of
The Central Pacific railroad owes
The total number of Methodists in
Ireland is 10,000.
The outstanding debt of . Vermont
amounts to only $297,500.
" John," the New York Sun's fool, is
drummer for a Philadelphia house.
American girls are said to expose the
biggest braids at the Vienna Exposi
tion. A woman always carries a letter in her
hand, but can usually find space in her
pocket for a pork-steak.
SoMsrarNd that Takes. The three
fold combination agency for selling " Wealth
ana vyonaers of tne Jtounatess west." There
mucn sure money in it. see advertisement.
Hindoo women own $500,000,000
worth of ornaments. They must have
jewelry, even if they wear nothing
The name of Kosciusko, it seems, was
not Kosciusko, after all, but Koscius
zlio. How could freedom shriek such a
name as that ?
Persons desirous of learning the size
of shoes worn by a lady friend should
praise the beauties of the foot of some
Henbt Wilson thinks that Phil Sher
idan stands as good a chance of being
the next President of the United States
as anybody else.
Hartford has nearly $12,000,000 in
vested in manufacturing enterprises, be
sides upward of $100,000, 000 in bank
ing and insurance.
The Colonial Government of Queens
land, Australia, has offered to pay the
passage of 10,000 skilled laborers from
Ureal Britain to that colony.
Bx sowing pine seed 1,000 acres of
barren land in Eastham, Mass.. have
been converted into forest, where auail.
plover and other game abound.
The first Christian school in Jerusa
lem was opened in 1817 with nine mem
bers ; now there are five schools, with
upward of four hundred scholars.
The most recent inventory of A. T.
Stewart's property gives him $100,000,-
000. He will nevertheless continue to
fine cash boys for looking out of the
Commodore Vandebbilt, accompan
ied by a cigar, lately made the trip from
New York to Saratoga, on a regular
train, at the rate of fifty miles an hour.
Timid individuals got off. .; ...
The exports of coin from .New York
since Jan.l, 1873, are stated at $35,941,-
85U, against 3544,145. bll in the same
time last year, and $48,103,898 in corre
sponding time the year before.
One of the survivors of the wrecked
steamer Atlantic has brought suit
against the owners for $100,000, claim
ing that he has been disabled for life
by reason of having had his legs badly
The editor of a Russian journal has
been punished with imprisonment and a
fine for publishing four words of the
Czar addressed to the Khirgistan envoy,
Mohammed Sultan. They were, "Ah,
you speak Russian.
This is one of Josh Billings' latest
strokes: "I have eat these lamented
Nu Jersey ham sandwich, and must say
that I prefer a couple of basswood chips
soaked in mustard water, and stuck to
gether with Spalding s gin.
The average salary of 61,000" clergy
men (Protestant) in the United States
has been put down by one who has been
gathering the facts at $70U per annum,
and while the whole receive an average
of not over $500, about one-third do not
Mb. Li. T. Out, of Otoe county. Neb.,
is the happy father of a recent pair of
a - 1 . i nil r
twins a giri and a uoy. xiie lonner
has been baptised Betsey, and the lat
ter I. xi. Out. That settles the ques
tion between Carletop and the other old
maid about the pedigree of ' Betsey and
x. it. Out."
Sixteen years ago, a Carolina father,
who knew the virtues of the rod.
thrashed his big boy, and sent him out
to hoe corn. The hrst seen ot him since
was last week, when he returned from
California with $50,000 on his hoe,
When you send a boy to hoe corn
always "lick" him first.
In spite of the opinion of Prof. Wy-
man. the ancient mound-builders of
Florida were cannibals. This conclu
sion is based upon the fact that many
of these bone-heaps contained human
bones, which were broken in the same
manner as those of certain animals
that were killed for food. The splitting
of the bones had been resorted to
a means of obtaining the inclosed
A man of Springfield, Vt., has invent
ed a now suspension bridge. It consists
of a single wire stretched across Jjlack
river, and a car that will contain two
persons travels back and forth on the
wire. The east end of the wire is the
highest, and the momentum of the car
serves to carry it across, a distance of
two hundred feet in fifteen seconds. Be-'
turning, the car travels to the center of
the wire without help, and from thence
is drawn up by a cord attached to the
car, the entire trip occupying only thir
Ottar of Roses. From a recent
paper on the " Ottar of Roses," we learn
that this rare and fragrant oil is obtained
mainly from the southern slopes of Bal
kan, Turkey, where there are over one
hundred and fifty stations where the in
gathering of the rose-blossoms and the
manufacturing of rose-oil take place.
The quantity of oil produced in. the
South of France is unimportant com
pared to the Turkish product. The
rose-trees are planted in rows, as the
vines in a vineyard, at time twos being
grown together. The roses are gathered
in bloom during the month of May, and.
while fresh, are subjected to distilla
tion, together with their green calix-
The Davenport (Towa) Gazette vouches
for the absolute truth of the following,
though from obvious reasons all names
are suppressed : One of the leading citi
zens of North Davenport had an only
daughter who was betrothed to a young
man of fair promise, a clerk in a leading
commercial house at Dubuque.
lis visits to that city were regular.
and arrangements had been made for
an immediate union, when the bride-
elect was stricken down by typhoid
fever, and, in spite of all which skill and
care could do, died. The Gazette re
porter says : " We saw her in her coffin,
dressed for the bridal of death, not for
the consummation of all earthly love.
We witnessed the agony of her lover as
he bent "in speechless, tearless abstrac
tion over the satin-lined burial case."
After the melancholy journey to Oak-
dale the young man returned to Du
buque. Nervous fever set in. and a
peculiar hallucination seized him that
his lost one was present in the room,
draped in the garb which had enveloped
her clay. All remonstrance was in vain.
He minutely described her dress, her
appearance, and her position in his
chamber; even when his parents or
friends would sit or stand where he de
clared her to be, he saw her glide away
and take another place. This went on
for weeks, and the patient was gradually
Binking under the physical and nervous
excitement, when a friendly ruse was
tried to cure him of his ecstacy.
Uoming to Davenport, his mother
found that the funeral garments were
purchased at the store of C. & M. and
made by Mrs. B. She procured the ma
terial, had it made up in fac szmtle.
and returning, a young lady as near in
height and appearance as could be
found, was dressed to resemble his de
ceased love, and during one of his
fevered and brief slumbers was intro
duced into the room, taking her seat in
His awakening was anxiously watched.
and sanguine hopes of removing his
hallucination were indulged in. He
woke at length, and, turning his eyes in
the direction of the pious fraud, stared
with fixed eyeballs for a few seconds,
then raising himself almost upright in
his bed, flung his arms aloft, and shriek
ing in an unearthly voice : My uod.
there are two of them ! fell back and
Facts Worth Knowing.
One-tenth of the entire railroads of
the United States are in Illinois. This
State leads all others in the extent of
its railway facilities. Its present total
mileage is about midway between 6,000
and 7,000, with new links being added
all the time. The total of this State is
about the same as the amount added to
the total of the nation during the last
twelve months. From " Poor's Bail-
road Manual " we take the following
condensed paragraphia worthy of special
'The earnings of the roads of the
different sections, of course, differed
greatly, the most productive roada
being those of the six New England
States, the earnings of which, the past
year, were $48,519,835, or 21.11) per
cent, on a cost of $230,&oy,7y4 The
cost per mile of the roads (4,574 miles)
was $50.418 : the earnings per mile.
$10,636 ; earnings per head of popula
tion, estimated at 3,586,000, $13.53.
The number of inhabitants to each
mile of road was 709.
' The cost of the 11,617 miles of road
in operation m the six -Middle estates
equaled $922,700,774, or $79,427 per
mile. Their earnings were $169,205, 702,
or 18.30 per cent, of their cost. The
earnings per mile were 3514, obo, and
$15.86 per head of population. The
number of inhabitants to each mile of
road was 792.
"For the ten Western States and
their contiguous Territories, the cost of
the 28,778 miles of railroad in operation
was $1,472,625,232, or $50,550 per mile.
Their earnings equaled $193, 82b, 258, or
13.10 per cent, of the cost. Their earn
ings per mile were 86.735 : per head of
population, $13.76. The number of in
habitants per mile of road was 4U0.
With such profits for railway invest
ments, no wonder the people "groan.
being burdened," and ask in a tone of
command for transportation reform.
A Cat's Jump.
The following statement, of the dis
tance leaped by a cat, is made by the
Messrs. Stanford Brothers, ot Ithaca, m.
Y.. who are not only reliable but accu
rate observers of the doings of animals.
" When our cat was about a year old,
he was seen on several days to take po
sition upon a show-case four feet high,
and to watch a canary in a cage hanging
from the ceiling eight feet from the
case : the ceiling was eleven feet from
the floor ; 'and the cage an 'ordinary
cylindrical one. One day, as we were
observing him thus engaged, he suddenly
sprang at the cage and caught his claws
upon it ; his weight swung the cage up
against the ceiling, spilling all the ves
sels, and terrifying the canary ; after
swinging to ahd fro several times, tne
cat dropped to the floor uninjured ; we
measured the distance from the top of
the case to the cage and found it to be
ten feet ; so that the cat made an ascent
of six feet m height, or upon a incline oi
nearly thrrty-fave degrees.
"What Am I?" At a meeting of
woman suffragists in Cincinnati, Mrs.
Talbert. a somewhat colored woman,
was introduced, and in the course of
her remarks she stated that her father
was Dutch-Indian and her mother Irish-
negro, and then asked " What am I?"
The audience incontinently "gave it
up." when she informed them that she
was not a negress ; she was neither
white nor black, but simply a woman of
color. They assented.
A gentTjEman was chiding his son for
staying out late at night, and said
" Why, when I was your age, my father
would not allow me to go ont of the
house after dark." " Then you had
deuce of a father, you had, said the
young profligate, whereupon the father
very rashly vociferated : "I had a con
founded eight better one than you have,
you young rascal,"
[From the Danbury News.]
New apples are one dollar and ten
cents a quart. Ten cents for the apples
and a dollar for the doctor.
When you see a man who is hasten
ing across a street to avoid a team, step
on a piece of mud, and lose his bal
ance, and come to the earth, and tear
the skin from both his wrists, and
smash his head against a post, you want
to shout as quickly as possible : " The
more haste the less speed." Then you
want to pick up your feet, and get out
of that neighborhood like lightning.
-An exchange tells an interesting
story about a little boy who applied to a
city store for work, and while searching
his valise for a letter of introduction let
fall a copy of the Bible, and the city
merchant asked him what he did with
that, and he said he read it, flashing his
eye in a gritty way at the time. Then
the city merchant took him in. and
made him his clerk, and by and by his
confidant, and eventually his partner.
we have no doubt of this, it is a
probable story, and anybody who is in
terested in it can find the concluding
chapters in the telegraphic columns of
the daily press.
A stranger who is visiting Danbury
proposed to one of our citizens, Satur
day, that he would get a barouche if the
citizen would furnish ladies, and take a
drive out of town in the evening. The
citizen agreed, and went home to get
ready. His wife noticed the particular
toilet, and asked him what was up. He
didn't appear to know that anything was
up, and she said no more, shortly after
he left, she went to his place of busi
ness and learned that he was to take a
drive. The carriage was out in front of
the hotel the party was to start from.
and near it the curious woman found
her husband's partner in the scheme.
bhe asked him if the carriage was going
to B . and he believing her to be one
of the invited, replied in the affirmative,
and helped her in. one was no more
than comfortably settled in the back
seat, when her husband came down the
hotel steps with the couple he had
engaged, and reaching the carriage, pro
ceeded to bow them in, when his smile
was petrified Jnto ghastliness by the
vision of his affectionate wife, pleas
antly located on the back seat, and
going through a brief rehearsal with
her fingers. One instant he gazed
frantically at her, and then giving ex
pression to his pent-up feelings with the
simple exclamation, "By hokey 1" he
turned and fled.
A Nelson street dry goods man. who
is weu known lor his politeness, has a
father who is an excellent citizen, but
not a very smooth talker. They were
so busy at the store Saturday afternoon
that the old gentleman was called in to
help. Among the customers was a
young lady who appeared to be waiting
to trade with him whose elderly appear-
anoe invited her confidence. Boon an
opportunity offered, and leaning over
the counter as an invitation for him to
do the same, she whispered her order.
He bent closer to her, and said, "What's
that ?" in a voice that started the per
spiration to her forehead. Again she
whispered. " U, elastic I said he in a
tone that could be heard on the walk.
and looking much pleased with his suc
cess. " What kind of elastic ? he
added, bending his head closer to the
burning face of the perspiring maiden.
Once more she tremblingly whispered.
" For garters, hey ?" he repeated, even
louder than before, without noticing the
horror-struck expression of the almost
fainting young lady, " Somathing
fancy. I suppose, he went on to say.
in happy oblivion of the store full of
people ; young people now-a-days
want things nice. My old woman uses
a shoe string, and sails around without
noticing the difference." Then he got
down with the box, and turned around
to show it. but the customer was gone.
He stood around with the elastic some
five minutes in waiting, but Bhe did not
return, and it is likely he has forgotten
all about the circumstance now,
A True Story.
Mr. Joaquin Miller must have had
some queer experiences in his short me,
if his own record of them is to be be
lieveu. we nave ajreaay seen aim
"with Walker in Nicaragua;" he is said
lieved. We have already seen him
to be writing an autobiography, in
which he tells of his residence and ad-
ventures with the Modocs, and here is
the substance of a " true story of fron
tier life, which he relates to the readers
tier me, wnicn ne relates to wie readers
the story is laid in Shasta county, Cali
fornia, a 'few years ago, and the
rl.m.mn.tij nersnntn are a little company
of miners, of whom six were suddenly
prostrated with the scurvy. They were
very likely to die, for the camp was a
lonely one. far away from all such looo,
medicine, and conveniences, as the sick
require. One of the miners, however,
had heard of a remedy which he had
proved while he was a sailor, and which
was not beyond reach, and to make
trial of this was at once resolved upon.
Six deep pits were speedily dug in the
warm soil in the shadow of a huge pine;
in these the patients, stripped to the
skin, were placed, and then the fresh
earth was carefully shoveled back, so
that each man was securely buried up
to his chin. In this position they were
to stay all night. Now, the sleep of the
miner, when his day s toil is over, " is
not so much a sleep as a stupor," and,
soon after the last of the buried men
had dozed off, their friends also sought
their beds and fell into a slumber, from
which none woke till dawn. At that
hour thev went to visit their buried
comrades, and, to their horror, found
that the wolves had come down during
the night and eaten off every one of the
heads level with the ground 1
At a social meeting in Boston, Gen.
F. A. Walker read a paper on the pros
nective Tjonnlation of the United States.
in which he contended that, instead
rAochitur 100.355.185 in the vear 1900.
as calculated by Elkanah Watson,
100,337,408, as calculated by DeBow,
107,000,000, as calculated by Uommis-
sioner Wilson, it will only be some
where between 6,O00,OOO and 84.UO0,
000, most probably 73,000,000 to 76,
I never saw an angel,
Except the onea in books ;
I don't believe a mortal
Knows how an angel looks.
We guess at something misty.
With trailing wings of while.
With amber tresses floating,
And garments strangely white.
But I believe earth's angels
Walk here in mortal guise.
Though we discern but faintly
Through heavy-lidded eyes.
Or see them as they leave us.
Who walked beside us here.
Their angelhood quite hidden
Because it lived so near..
I can remember angels
Who seemed like common folks,
Who wore old-fashioned bonnets,
And f sded winter cloaks :
Who came when dire disaster
Crowned lesser home mishap.
Or younger claimants crowded
The dear maternal lap.
With curving arms wide open
To take the weary in,
With patient love to listen
To childish want or sin.
What better thing could angels
For childish sinners do.
Than listen to their story,
And bid them promise new 7
I think of fireside angels.
Upon whose faded hair
There shone no crown of glory,
And yet the crown was there ;
When tender love, true-hearted,
Forgave the wrongs it knew.
And patient voice gave answer
The days of trial through.
Ah, me! the childish angel
Who beckons as I write 1
Perchance 1 should not know him
In mystic robe of white. .
He wears a schoolboy's Jacket,
And cap, and boots, to me,
As when we walked at twilight,
His head against my knee.
There are dear mother angels
We each perchance know one
Whose robes of better glory
Are daily being spun.
With loving hands to guide us.
With loving speech to cheer,
Said I not well, earth angels
Walk daily with us here T
A pretty hard case A coffin.
The Indian question "White man
got any rum ?
" New way to pay old debts " Settle
them promptly and in full.
When is a fowl's neck like a bell?
When it is wrung for dinner.
" Fob what port is a man bound during
courtship ? Bound to Havre.
Why is meat not done like a good
conundrum ? Because it is rare. .
When is a captain in his heaviest
attire ? When he wears his ship.
We all should remember that a seedy
coat often covers a heart in full bloom. '
E. Hannafobd & Co., subscription
book publishers, have matured a plan of sell
ing books that enables their agents to coin
money. Bee advertisement.
Why is the warrant for a suspected
persons arrest like a. very old coat r
Because it's (s) worn out.
Aw "Flno-linh ladv has wrirten a book
to show how a lady may live on $75 a
It didn t cost Hive anything like
Tim " coming man " is delayed, not
being able to get through, because he is
a dead-head and the pass system is aooi-
A TiAdy from a benighted region.
hearing for the first time that matches
were made in heaven, said sue was
ready to go.
A Western editor insists that he
wrote the word " trousseau" plain as a
nikestaff in connection with certain
bridal presents. The printer, however,
vulgarly put it " browsers.
The ladies of the harem of the King
of Siam have put off the Siamese cos
tume and donned the European barem-
scarem costume, consisting of chignons.
hich-heeled gaiters and back files of
The following pathetic lines are sup
posed to have emanated from the obitu-
... -, . i i - r ,
ary genius oi tne xrniiaaeipnia jcagcr .
The death-angel smote Alexander MoGlue,
&nl ct.vm him nrotracted renose :
He wore a checked shirt and a Number Nine Shoe,
And he had a pink wart on nis nose.
No doubt he is happier dwelling in space
Hv.t thnr nil the everareen shore '-
nis friends are informed that his funeral takes
Precisely at quarter past four !
A fond mother in Norwich. Conn.,
, ,A .twi OT. nnfAf
of fish tackle. Soon she heard a shout
from Willie, and, running out, found
one of her best hens fast winding up
the line in her crop, whither the hook
had already preceded it. Willie, ob-
the troubled look of his mother,
Unietlf remarked: " Don't worry,
mother, I guess she will stop when she
gets to the pole.
"Isav. old fellow, what are your
politics ?" said a witty Aberdeen man,
quizzing another artisan. " Conserva-
Uye my muivr ww wuocivauto,
replied. " And what is your religion ?"
continued the other. " Protestant
my father was a Protestant," was the
answer. And wny are you a paoio-
lor?" said the other. "Because my
father was a oh confound it 1 don t
bother me with your stupid questions."
A Novel Lottery.
The directors of the Dublin (Ireland)
Tramway Company have become sus
picious of their conductors, and have -been
trying to circumvent them. At
first each conductor was given a strip of
tickets, and he was to give one ticket to
each passenger, who was then to tear it
up. The conductor s receipts were to
correspond with his ticket strips. But
people hated the company worse than
the conductor, and would not tear up
the tickets ; the conductor would use
them over again, and thus his income
was kept up. But now the remedy is
reached. Every ticket is numbered,
but the number is printed on it ; and at
the end of each month the company nas
a grand lottery with three hundred
prizes, ranging from ten pounds to one
one shining, xacn ticses nas a cnauuo
in the drawing. Nobody throws away
his ticket now ; every passenger is too
busy looking after his own interests.
Persons of nobility travel incognito in
the cars for the Bake of chance in the
lottery ; and the affairs of the company
are unpreoedentedly prosperous. The
plan is soon to be imitated in England.