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THE SWUATpN IN OHIO
Ex-Governor HerricK Pushed Himself
Will -the Republicans of Cjnio Stand
It Booms that the Republican
Central Committee, vhicli waa
clioaon by ox-Govornor Horrlok'B
machine and which ho still con
trols, is determined that lie ahull
bo vindicated nt wlmtevor cost of
When ho was defeated by -18,000
majority, whilo all the rest of the
ticket was elected by about the
smile majority, it was hopod that
ho and his partisans would havo
tho good sonse to absent Jthoni
selves for awhilo from tho center
front of tho Kopublican stugo in
But ho is still able to control 14
out of 21 votes of the Committee
and now ho is brought forward
for "vindication." It appears to
theso astute gontlomeu that it is
safe to again ail'rout the 150,000
Republicans who voted against
him, by appointing him to sound
their "keynote." It remain'f to
be seen how many of them) will
dance to the .Herrick piping.!
Senator Overturf has announced
that tho reason the Convention
was tnkon from Columbus to Day
ton is in the interest of ' "har
mony." "Said Senator Overturf of Dola
ware, member of the committee
from the Eighth district, 'The
primary reason that your city was
not chosen was the f act that tho
pseuuo party organ wus hostile.
r'IMli ucra itfnPA anlrl utifl lnn f.linr
H" -" ...... ..,.. X.VS..U v..v
did not promote party harmonv
and there was no earnest that
there would be any cessation of
this policy.' Other committee-
nen expressed similar senti-
trfieniB. uincinnati inquirer.
yj Uut it seems to be thought ex
B&edingly conducive to party bar
ony to Haunt Mr. Herrick in the
ces of his lf0,000 Republican
It seems that tho sober sense of
onio of tho twenty-one members
of the Republican Central Coni-
mittoo was opposed to tho Herrick
slate. But as in the last Republi
can convention, there wero enough
muck to the man who had ofllcinl
ly created them to put the plan
It was an open secret that lie
wns not wanted at the front. The
Ohio Sun account, July 19, soys:
"Ono of the stories that was cir
culated Wednesday wns that Sena
tor Dick really wanted Governor
Harris as temporary chairman of
tho convontion ; that formor Gov
ornor Horrick desired tho vindica
tion that ho felt such an honor at
the hands of his party would give
him and therefore made a person
al ploa to Governor Ilnrris that ho
refuse to act as temporary chair
man. Out of courtesy to his run
ning mate on tho ticket lust fall,
it 1b said that Governor Harris
could not refuse and therefore
stood firm against pressure that
was brought to boar on him. For
this rcuson, so it is suid, Secre
tary Fliokinger went to the com
mitteemen Tuesday night anil ov
ulated tho word from tho Gover
nor that undor no circumstances
" would ho be a candidate nor would
ti 10 accept the honor if tendered.
In The opposition to Horrick wns
tot thought to be as strong as it
ulprovcd Wednesday afternoon,
when sevan districts rullled around
Gonoral Koifer, who is not bolioved
ihIo havo known of tho plan."
M Wo wish to say that according
JJto our reliable inside information
In, the above account is true, so far
'uat least as reluotanoo to bringing
JjuHorrlok forward wus concerned.
fl'lie samo peoplo who felt that his
tt candidacy last year was a burden
aUield that tho purty ought not to
-Icnrry hitu again, They did all
ruUhoy could to shelve him, short of
hi ijb ren king with the organization,
ji?lnit tho Ilerrlok grip on his coui-
rinittoe was too strong.
brl Frederick Bader, of the First
jdistrlot, in explanation of the
fjioppoItlqu of his district to Her"
ered it. Uiid :
'"Uj our way wo think that
hik should not be
nindo an issue in tin coming cam
palgn and thn ; is why wo voted
ngainst in a It in, g him chairman of
But 11 ot' tho ill meuiborH
thought it would bo a good thing
to mnko lilni an issue. Thoreupon
they made him an issue.
It wa& known weeks ago in this
olllce that tho slate had boon mado
up for Horrick's temporary "koy
noto" chairmanship, in order to
his "vindication," and that it was
no inoro possible to prevont its
going through than it wus possible
to prevent his rcnomination at the
last Republican Statu Convention.
In this security his partisans were
resting, with no expectation of a
break in the smooth operation of
But it seems that, without pre
meditation or prearrangement,
thore was a spontaneous outburst
of effort ngainst liim by seven com
mitteemen who had not yet been
dragooned into absolute silence
and submission. The Cincinnati
Enquirer tells the stor' thus:
"Then came the surprising ac
tion upon the chairmanship.
Maurice Maschke, of Cleveland,
when the names of candidates
wero called for, arose and brielly
presented that of formor Gover
nor Myron T. Herrick, Tt seemed
to bo that hifi election was to be
unanimous, when suddenly George
Drake, of Parry county, represent
ing tho Eleventh district, popped
up and named General J. Warren
Keii'er, of Springfield. On the
roll-call, Messis. Bader and Mnag,
of Cincinnati; Richard McCloud,
of London; Norman Overturf, of
Delaware; George Drake, of Corn
ing; Congressman Dawes, of
Marion, and Judge E. S. Souers,
of New Philadelphia, voted for
"Amid a dead silence Chairman
Gould annour.ced tho result: Her
rick 14, and Keifer 7. Exactly
one-third of the committee had
opposed the former Chief Execu
tive. No motion waB offered to
make the selection unanimous. In
stead Mr. Drake aroso and said
that lie desired to explain to the
committee tlmt the name of Gen
oral Koifer had been offered as a
candidate without his knowledge
or consent. Immediately Mnschko
jumped up to suy that Governor
llerrick's name had been offered
without any solicitation on tho
part of that gentleman. 'It's n
closed incident, gentlemen,' said
Chairman Gould, as ho deftly
turned tiie current of business in-,
to another channol."
rno auove, wiuou is a true au
count, shows tho fooling of at least
a minority of the committee. It
was so strong against Horrick that
it was not safo to try to make his
appointment unanimous. The
"deft" chairman slickly manngod
to got pnst tho wholo ail'air with
out open revolt, it remuiiis to bo
seen whether it is "a closed inci
dent." Wo again call attention to tho
purpose of this astonishing action
of the Committee:
"Formor Governor Herriok want
ed the vindication tlmt he felt
suoli un honor at the hands of his
party would give him."
This can bo tho only purposo of
bringing him forward. It is a
direct ohnllonge to all who voted
against him before It will bo so
rogardod by tens of thousands of
Republicans, Stalwart Republi
can voters wo havo Just mot on tho
street declare they will voto the
whole Democratic tickot this fall
us a rebuke to tho Horrick ma
chine, This fooling is common,
Scripture deolures that 'u word
iltly spoken is like apples of gold
i'l plotures (oru fruine) of silver."
Whon 150,000 nnti-IIerriok Ro
publicans of Ohio see him sur
rounded by Orrin B, Gould, and
Murk Slater, and John Malloy,
they will think of an apple of
brass iu a frame of load,
Orrin B. Gould, chairman of tho
Republican Committee, is tioHuie
for Such a Bar
boss who hns boon repudiated by
tho hotter element of Republican
ism in his county. As warden of
the penitentiary, to which politi
cal Job ho was appointed by Hor
rick, ho embittered tho lust hours
and hastened the death of Govern
or Pattison by helping to organize
a movement to defeat Governor
Pattison's rights in tho peniten
tiary control. For this, Gould
was condemned and repudiated by
every respectable Republican pa
per of Ohio. Ho is a typical pro-
saloon politician ull his sym
pathies lie on tho saloon side. He
is chairman of the Republican
Committee, and voted to bring
Horrick forward again.
Mark Slater, another Horrick
heeler from Dayton, und member
of tho Republican Committee, who
voted for llerrick's resurrection,
ombnrrussed and humiliated Mr.
Pattison in his last hours b' de
manding that Secretary Ilouck
should admit him to Mr. Patti
son's sick-bed in order to satisfy
Slater that the Governor wub in
command of his mental faculties
suillciently to put Slater out of
olllce as State Printer. Tho in
fernal insolence and indelicacy of
tins demand was properly resent
ed by Mr. Houck, and was in turn
repudiated by decent Republicans
all ovor Ohio.
John Malloy, temporary secre
tary of the Convention, is the man
who was stopped from this build
ing in his attempted manipulations
of election roturns by the Associ
ated Press the night of the elec
tion last fall, iu order to recoup
himself for his lost election bets.
Malloy, Slater, Gould, Horrick,
this is tho bright galaxy that is
to bo central in the Republican
skies at the noxt Convention. It
is supposed it will attract tho
wandering independent Republi
cans back to the fold. On tho
conrrarj, it will insure and perfect
their disgust for the Herrick fac
When the report of tho Commit
tee came out of their room into
Columbus, a prominent Republican
Representative in tho General As
sembly was sitting in the Noil
House lobby. Whon the action of
tho Committee was told him, ho
"My God! Look at what this
Committee hns done! If we poli
ticians, who aro on the inside feel
about Hprrick as wo do, what will
the rank and file of the hundreds
of thousands of Republicans of the
State, who do not have or want
any offices, think of this putting
Horrick forward again?"
This is the conundrum which
the intention to "vindicate" Hor
rick has picclpitated upon tho
Thore Is strong presumptive evi
dence now in existence that ull
this is part of a scheme to pick
Horrick up out of tho position
whore tho Republican votes of
Ohio havo put him, and send him
to tho United States Senate
Don't have a falling out with
your hair. It might leave you J
Then what? That would mean
thin, scraggly, uneven, rough
hair. Keep your hair at home I
Fasten It tightly to your scalp!
You can casilydo itwith Ayer's
Hair Vigor. It Is something
more than a simple hair dress
ing. It is a hair medicine, a
hair tonic, a hair food.
The beat kind ot a testimonial
"Sola tor over lxty yean."
lhd by 3, 0. 4yr Co.. Lawall, Mul,
Alto uuiuufuifi os
HrtkUJrint wft,Mr, ttiUUW
(bene Merely a Trifle Lets 3ad Than
Other, That If All,
Seriously speaking, n funny story
is no laugliiiig matter. Humor is
one of the world's great institutions,
a thing to be approached with rev
erence akin to awe, as something
cold as tho pole, imperishable as the
pyramids and often a grout deal
more ancient. If wc abase ourselves
before ancient and holy things, cun
wc afford to laugh at the capers of
the convict chimpanzee, who in
point of ancestry antedates the Pe
ter Lclys and Joshua Reynohlsos of
our baronial hulls ?
J'uuny stories, furthermore, are
usually bused on something which
is not funny at ull. Their point,
in fact, often depend solelv upon
an unsympathetic view of some
great humun misfortune. What is
more pathetic to a sane mind than
a funeral or a harelip or a divorce
or a molher-in-luw? Vet, shades of
Ranieses, how useful they have be
come in vaudeville!
J don't think that fhoie uic unv
rcnlly side splitting stories in tho
world. Some arc merely a tiiile lesj
sad than others; Unit is all. How
admirable is the calm philosophy of
tho man v ho refused to nde villi
his mother-in-law at his wilW fu
neral "because." as he explained, "it
would spoil the day's pleasures for
mo!" And yet there aie persons
careless as to rcgaid this as mote
And m the endless pioppssion of
anecdotes fih'a by, none of them, as
1 hae said, really funtiv, but some
a little lea" ad than the others. In
the jocund days of heraldic eld,
when the woods veto teeming with
parfit jjenlil knights and the hen-u
of humor wi less paiticilar I ban
nowaday, eveiv king had a jester
hiied by the vcek. and (lie i loun
'U3 furnished with a eoituin appli
ance which made all his j"L" n.rne
diutcly appreciated. What, prithee?
Xolhing more than a bhuhW on a
stick. When the jester ( iime to the
point of the joke he popped tho
bladder smart I v on the floor. That
was a signal. "'All luugh !" So the
uproar was deafening. Tho-e were
golden d.ns to live in! Wallace Ir
win in Succoi-, Magu.itie.
Ancient Uso of Concrete.
The use of concrete mu'-oniy prob
ably begins vith the Romans, who
employed it in road building and
foundation work. Coming do,n
from the tunc of the Romans, the
ancient city of Ciudud Rodiigo has
walls existing at the present day in
which are buried large Inwldora ol!
stone. These walls uie in a good
state of preservation at the piesent
time in fact, so much -o that thev
still bear the prints of the boards
which made up the foiiu which
held the concrete in its soniiliquid
state at the time it was put in. It
is an interesting matter to note that
the modern pructice of putting large
masses of stone iu concrete masoniy
follows e.acth the scheme mod in
building these ancient walls of Cm
dad Rodrigo. This method not only
reduces the cost ot the resulting
fabric, but also makes it stronger.
Curran and the Tailors.
Curran, the famous oiator and
wit, never hoaitatod to sacrifice hi-,
friends for the sake of u joke,. On
one occasion the Men hunt Tailor,'
guild ot Dublin guw a banquet, to
winch lie vas i'nileU in Jact, ho
was the guosi of hcior. He kept
his hosts ui'ui-etl all e.ening. Them
were jusl eighteen ot lus etitoi turn
ers, and when Curran look hi.s leave
he waited till he rea hod the door,
then with a smile and a bow said,
"Aud now, gentlemen, I have the
honor of saying goul night to both
of you." He made his o-cape before
the eighteen tailors realized tho
joke, und then it was too Into to
Sudden Chaiijo of Mind.
Pulling and blowing, the fat pas
seuger began to climb to the upper
berth iu the hluepuig cur.
"Pretty hard woik, isn't it?" said
the man in the lower berth.
"It is," ainwerod tho fat passen
ger, "for a man of my weight."
"How much do you weigh, may 1
"Three hundred and eighty-seven
'Hold on! Take this one!" ex
claimed the other, his hair begin
ning to rise on end. "I'd rather
Bleep in tho upper berth anyway.
Tho ventilation is hotter." Chica
A Little Vague.
A Uoston lady seoking summer
board on n arm saw an advertise
ment giving a dosciiption of about
such a place as she wanted and
wnt a letter of inquiry. She ro
oeived the following information as
to terms :
"We charge $5 a week for men,
$4.fi0 for ladies and $4 for children
old enough to eat. All ages and
seres to pay more if difficult,"
A tlilliblr So ll jr.
I'll umka the soap amis vlevr and
And blow the ouhblea one by one.
Thou we'll nIiik our liutble sous,
Such u men J. foolish one.
We bubble of bubble? lll thin, you
Ulbbely bobble the bubbles uo
Jlubbllntr bubbled blow.
Jlubblos (tparkllnc g n nnd fulr.
lIubUfi'H lofckii i t i li iir'
See tbt in dun. e and flo.it (lloritf
Am vm einif our bubble sous.
-Cuolj a v ei in at Nlcholm
miin mniiiuaxztamaaamtmmrf,iw.mnumj,isuiaxujtiKsamaBsB' jjagca,"'--ttaMam!iuuijjsaTnB3aBMi mm miwwil
ON BRIDGE WHIST.
By HUGH McllUGH
GEORGE Y. HOBART
"In One of Those Department 8tore Mobs."
I received a letter tho other day
that 'put me over the ropes.
I'll paste 1L up heie just to show
you that It's ou the level:
"Philadelphia, This Week.
"Dear John: I have never met you
peisonully. hut I've heard my brother,
Teddy, speak ot you so often that you
really seem to be one of the family.
(Teddy talks slang something
(lei ce. )
"Dear John, will you please pardon
the llheity I take In grabbing a two
cent stamp and jumping bo uncere
moniously at ono who is, alter all, a
"Dear John, if you look around you
can see on every hand th.it the glad
season of the year is here, and if you
listen attentively you may hear the
hoarse cry of the summer resort
beckoning us to that bourn fiom which
no traveler returns -without getting his
"Dear John, could you please tell me
how to play biidge whist, so that when
I go to the seashore I will be aimed
for defraying expenses.
"Dear John, I am sure that If I
could play bridge whist loud enough
to win four dollars every onco in
awhile I could spend a large hunch
of the summer at the seashore.
"Dear John, would you tell a lov
ing but pei feet sti anger how to play
the game without having to wear a
"Dear John, I played a couple of
games recently with a wide-faced young
man who grow very playful and tlitew
the parlor furniture at me because I
trumped his ace. I fancy I must have
did wrong. The fifth time I trumped
his ace the young man arose, put on
his gum shoes, and skeedaddled out of
the house Is it not considered a breach
of etiquette to put on gum shoes in the
presence of a lady?
"If you please, dear John, tell me how
to play bridge whist.
"P. S. The furniture which he threw
was not his pioperty to dispose of.
When my wife got a flash of this let
ter she made a kick to the effect that
it was some kind of a cypher, possibly
the beginning of a secret correspond
ence. It was up to me to hand Gladys the
frosty get-hack, so this Is what I said:
"Respected Madam: I'm a slob on
that bridge whist thing, plain poker be
ing tho only game with ranis that ever
coaxes my dough fiom the stocking, but
I'll do the advice gag if it chokes mo-
"Biidgo whist is plajed with cards,
Just like pinochle, with tho exception
of thu beer.
"Not enough cauls is a misdenl; too
many caids is a mistake, and catds up
tho sleeve Is a slap on the ItontpIaa
if they catch j ou at It.
"You shouldn't got up und dunce the
Eiiakeutliio dance eveiy time you take
a trick. It looks more genteel und
plctuiesque to do the two-step,
"When yom opponent bus not fol
lowed suit it Is not wise to pick out a
loud tone of voU'o and tell him about
It Reach uudui the table and kick him
ou the sliiuH. If ii hurts him he Is a
"She Gave Me a Qlud Smile,"
cheater; If It doesn't hurt him always
remembei that you are a lady.
"Dou'i forget what Is trumps more
than IS times dm lug one hand. Tlu
limit luseil to be 26 times, hut since the
Insurance people have been playing
Hyde and seek the host biidge whist
authorities have put the limit down
"It isn't wise to have a conniption fit
every tlinu you lose a tiick. Nothlni
looks no bud llf ft rointiitlou fit Wbn it
loexn't mutch the complexion und gen
"ully It delays the game
When the ganio Is close don't get ox
cltud aud clhub up un the table. It
( 'T&' iV I
a- -j. s-d
shows a want of loliuement, especially If
you are not a quick climber.
"Never whistle while waiting for
some one to play. Whistling is not in
good taste. Go over and bite out a cou
ple of tunes on the piano.
"When your opponent trumps an ace
don't eer hit hitu caielessly across the
lorehead with the bilc-u-biac. Always
remember when you are In society that
hiic-a-hiac Is expensive.
"Don't lead the ten of clubs by mis
take for the ace of trumps and then get
mad and jump 17 feet In the air because
they lefuse to let you pull it back.
"In order to jump 17 feet In the air
you would have to go through the room
upstairs, and how do you know whose
loom it Is?
"Theie, Gladys, If you follow these
niles I think you can play tho game of
biidge whist without putting a bruise
on the Monroe doctiine.
"P. S When you play for money al
ways bite the coin to see if it means
as much as it looks."
The next day, In order to square my
self with my wife for getting a letter I
hadn't any use for, Iwenttooneoftho.se
New York department stores to get her
a birthday piesent.
Say! did you ever get tangled up In
one ot those department store mobs and
have a ciowd of perfect ladles use you
lor a door mat.'
I got mine!
They ceitalnly taught me the Ro-
jestveasky glide, all light!
At the door of the department stoie a
nice young man with a pink necktie and
a quick foiehead bowed to me.
"What do you wish?" he asked.
"Well," I said, "I'm down here to get
a birthday pi esent for my wife. I would
like something which would afford her
gieat pleasure when I give it to her and
which I could use aftei wards as a pen
wiper or a fishlng-iod."
"Second floor; to the right; take the
elevator," said the man.
Did you ever try to take an elevator in
a department store and find that 2.U43
other Amei Iran citizens and citizenettes
were also trying to take the same ele
vator? How sweet It is to mingle In the arms
of utter strangers and to feel the gentle
pressm e of a foot we never hope to meet
I was standing by one of the counters
on the second floor when a sin ill oleo
crept up over a few bales ot dry goods
and said: "Aie you a buyer or a han
dler."' "I am looking for a bhthday present
for my wife," I answeiod. "I want to
get something that will look swell on
tho pallor table and may be used later
ou as a tobacco jar or a tiousor
"Kouith floor; to tho left; take the
elevatoi!" said the lady's voice.
With bowed head I walked away.
I hpg.iu to feel sot ry for my wife.
Nobody seemed to bo very much In
tel ested whether she got a hltthday
iu esent or not
On thu fouith floor I stopped at a
counter where a lot of eager dames weie
pawing ovoi some chinchilla ribbon and
It lemlnded me of the way our dog
digs up the vegetables iu the garden.
I enjojed the excitement of the gamo
for about ton minutes and then I said
to the tleik behind the counter who was
lefeieelng the match: "Can you tell
me wheio I cau buy a sterling silver
birthday piesent for my wife which I
could use afterwards as a night key or
a bath sponge?"
"rifth floor; to the rear; take the ele
vator!" said the clerk.
On the fifth floor I went ovor to a ta
ble whom a young lady was selling "The
Life and I.ibinilosof Audi ey Cat negle
ut foui dollars a month aud DO cents a
week, and in tinea years it is youis If
you don't lose tho receipts.
She gave mo a glad smile and I felt
a thrill of encouragement.
"i:cuso me," 1 said, "but I am looking
for a bit (Inlay pi esent for my wife which
will make nil tho neighbors jealous, and
which I can use afterwards as an ash
recel er or a pocket flask."
'I he young lady cutout the giggles and
pointed to the northwest,
I went over thoie.
To my surpi Iso I found another coun
ter. A pule young woman was bohlnd It.
I wus just about to ask her the fatal
question when u young man woailng a
ragtime, expiesslon on his face rushed
up and said to the young lady behind
the counter: "I am looking fur a suit
able pie.ient for a young lady filenr. of
mine with golden blown hair. Could
you please suggest something?"
The saleslady showed her teoth and
uusvveted him in a low, rumbl'.ig voice,
and tho man went away.
Then camo an old lady who said- "J
bought some organdie diess gooda for
a bhlit walat last Tuesdiy and I would
like to exchange them (or a music box
fr my daughter's little boy, Freddie, f
The saleslady again showed her teeth
nnd the old lady ducked for cover.
Aftor about i0 people had rushed up
to the suleslady and then rushed away
again, I went over and spoke to her.
"I am looking," I said, "for a birthday
present for my wife. I want to get some
thing that will give her a great amount
of pleasure and which I can use later on
as a plpo cleaner or a pair of suspend
ers!" The saleslady fainted, so I moved over.
At another counter another young
lady said to me: "Havo you been wait
"No," I replied; "I have been ctepped
on, sat on and walked on, but I haw
not yet been waited on."
"What do you wish?" Inquired the
"I am looking for a birthday present
for my wife," I said "I want to buy
her something that will bring great Joy
to her heart and which I might use after
wards as a pair of slippers or a shav
The young lady caught me with her
dreamy eyes and held me up agnlnst the
"You," she screamed; "you complete
a total of 2J.19S people who have been
in this department store to-day without
knowing what they aie doing here, and
I refuse to be a human encyclopaedia for
the sake of eight dollars a week. On
your way for yours!"
I began to apologize, but she reached
down undei the counter aud pulled onl
"This," she said, with a wild look iu
her side lamps; "this is the happy sum-
" A Pink Necktie and a Quick Fore
head." met- season, but, nevertheless, the next
guy that leaves his brains at home and
tries to make me tell him what is a good
birthday piesent for his wife will get 4
bitter swipe across the forehead!"
It was up to me, so I went home with
out a present.
(Copyright, 1S01. by G. W. Dillingham Co,)
JEFFERSON AS YOUNG MAN
Third President of the United States
Was an Athlete, But Was
Thomas Jefferson, when he left col
lege was one of the best Latin, Grek
and Fiench scholars In his native state
of Virginia. At his majority he came
Into ,iu Income of ?'J,O0l) a year, which
In those days, 1757, was as good as
$d,000 a year in these. Jefferson was
six feet two in his stockings (they
didn't wear socks in those days), and
an all-round athlete, a dandy dancer
and an expert violinist.
As Washington's secretary ot state
he advocated state sovereignly and de
centralization. Alexander Hamilton,
Washington's secretary of the treaa
uiy, was just as stiff for centralisation.
Washington took tho middle course
between the two gieat ilvals.
Jelferson, as president, eschewed all
pomp and ceremony On his two in
auguration days, instead of driving to
the cnpltol in a coach and six as bad
been the practice, he rods theie a
horseback, without u guard or even a
servant In his tialu, dismounted with
out assistance, and hitched the bridle
of his horse to a fence. He could be
gentle as a lambkin and as bard as
It is said that Japanese wrestling Is
l-olng taught Iu the London night
schools. Punch gives color to the ru
mor. There had been so much noise that
the mistress ot the house went below
stairs to see what had happened.
"May I ask," she said from the
kitchen door, "the meaniug ot this dis
A new Buttons, a very small boy,
"The butler and me, mum, ad at
little difference of opinion, mum. So
I give 'im a little joo-Jitso, mum,"
The mistress ot the house, in obe
dience to a gesture from Uuttous,
looked under the dresser, where the
tall butler lay in a state ot astonished
Advice for Change.
A young lawyer received a call
from a farmer in need ot legal advice.
The lawyer looked up the statute, and
told the farmer what he should do.
"How much?" said the farmer, "Well,
let's call It three dollars," said the
lawyer The farmer handed over a
five-dollar bill. The jawyer seemed
embarrassed. After beaiching hU
pockets and the diawers of his dealt,
he rose to the occasion and pocketed
the bill us he reached for a digest "1
gueaa, neighbor," he remarked aa he
resumed his neat. "I shall have to give
you two dollars worth more or aa-
If- . $R '