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DEVOTED 10 NEWS, POLITICS, LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE, MANUFACTURES, AND 2 HE GENERAL IN'I ERES1 S 01 ' HIGHLAND COUNTY.
Vol. 37 No. 35.
Hillsborough, Highland County, Ohio, Thursday, December 11, 1873.
Whole No, 1959.
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C. U. OOIilSa. B. II. F-ABKBIl.
COLLINS & PARKER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
HILLS BOKO, OUJO.
Office over noun's Drug Store, High Street.
Will practise their profession in Highland and ad
joining ouuuuee. 1
A. Q. Matthews. Hkhbt M. Hcooixs.
" M ATT 11 K H'S A ISttUUl.S.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Office on Iligh Street, opposite Court House.
A TTORA E Y A T LA W,
OFFICE Above Hayaes Store, Ililisboro, Ohio,
1IKNUY A. SIIEPiliiHD,
IIILLSBOSOU 311, O.
Office on Hih Street, between Short and Boech
Streets, r. O. Drawer, ox. "" '
G-. B. GARDNER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
HILLS BOROUGH. . - OHIO
FI1C1? in Smith's Block,
second floor, 8. E.
flnnwr Vftin and Hieh Streets.
rCulleirtiie. Partition and Probate business.
together with tlie ortier brancties of his profession,
wfil be promptly attended to.
Jane 8, l"syl
JOHN' A.TItmiUiL, Sen.,
Equitable Life Ins. Co. ofN.Y.
. Odice witi Ja& H. Thomtison, Main street, over
murt. vl Waddell's Jewelry Store.
!fOS HOIJlES, X. D. B. HOLMES.
E. & B. F. HOLMES,
PHYSICIANS 6 SURGEONS,
" HILLSBOROKUGH, OHIO.
OPTICS on Main Street, S doors wwst ot Eilicott
House. Especial arteutiun given to treatment
. of c'urouiC diseases. All calls promptly attended
dy-wight.T .. .. ocm
jj.'t v i m.c iV : -
Physician. Sgrieon ind Aoebuchsur,
. lULLSaORO, 0:110. . . -
OITice Main Street. n-xt doir eat ofTrtft OflTee.
Beridence South nigh t-t Boatli of uth Street.
. mytyt 1
W. W. SHEPHERD, Til. D.,
I'll juiflaii Hfl Snrgf.n,
IIIL.Ll!iUOaiOi'ill, - - OHIO.
Office on Short Street, two doors west of Itiijh St.
Of KICK liuU iti Kro.a 8 to A. iL, IBti'.M,
to 8 P. M. and ali day Haturdsy. d-2yl
A. J. STRAIN, if. D.
I'ltjairina and .Surtft'ou,
,1 J)ASVTLi.E, OHIO, '
f AVIXG pnrmahenHy Jocated In Dam-iff?, ten
1 ders hi pr ite-'siooiil services to the citizens
HiL'Uluud anJ a'1j'inlng counties. Ail cuSs i-:iher
y day r nl'it promptly resiHMided to.
AUgJBl Zl, IBkH.
int. A. KVAM",
4 u. r" 6 o o n. 13 oiitisit,
Office Comer Main au High Street, np stairs, over
Evans & Ferris's iiauk. ALL Wollii WAit
February , 1371. feb9yl
J. E. BALES,
ALL those wishing my services as Auctioneer,
for seilioz all kiwis of property, can procure
be same by calling or leaving word at the
Will attend sales in the country and adjoining towns.
- jyiotf J. E. BALES.
C. B. fvllLLER,
f ATE of the Brm of Amen, Miller & Co., will
I contiune the KeUil Grocery and Produce trade,
wt the old stand on High street, opposite tile Court
Houc, where he will keep a large and complete as
sort Jtent of Fresh Family Groceries, at prices as
low as tbev can he bought in this market.
Also Family Produce of all kiud" such as But.
ter, Eetrs, Dried Fruit, Poultry, c ;j
Cash paid for Produce of ail kinds
HilWx.ro. Feb . f-bBtf
KANSAS and MHSOURI
OHIO AND MISSISSIPPI
3 EXPRESS TRAINS DAILYO
RUN THROUGH FROM O
CincimiMll Without Chance ol
THE OHIO & MISSISSIPPI
Owned and operated by one Company from Cincin
nati to 8L Linus therefore passengers are SL'KE of
being carried Uirongn without change of cars, thus
a viui.y uie pua&iuillty lnciucui 10 ouier rouiso.
(which are made up of several short roads) of miiw-
iiigconnectiiHtsaud subidctiug their passengers o
disagreeable changes and deUive.
" FAMILIES AND OTHERS SEEKING HOMES
In the rich vnlleys and on the fertile prairies of Wes
tern Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, or the more die
taut Stale of Oalilonna, will consult their own in
terest by calling on or addressing die undersigned,
Contracting Agent, as a long residence in the West
era country has familiarized hiin with the best lo
dalitiea. THIS ROUTE IS 87 MILES SHORTER THAN
Through tickets can be purchased at Cincinnati
prices, of E. Carson, at ililisboro, or at our offices
u Cincinnati, HI) Vine Street, and at Depot, loot of
FRANK VAN Dt SEN, Gen. Passenger Agent.
JOS. W. AMBROSE, Traveling Agent
apt 371 y
LOCKVIOOl) at HIKE It,
Sole Western Manufacturers of
Cocoa Ha triii sr,
PLAIN A FANCY STRIPED, suitable for Chorehes,
Halls, ix. Also Wool, Cocoa & Manilla Mats,
Cor. Bank Jt Central Avenue, Cincinnati.
Bill Heads and Statements.
Every Business man should use neatly printed
Bill lieiads and Statements. We can furnish them
nearlv as ciiedn as von ran hn th hlsnk naner.
1000 good Bill Heads on 1 lb. paper, f or (a ; ouu fur
AU other Printing in proportion, at the
eploU It EWS OFFICE.
HOW THE BABY CAME.
The Lady lloou came dowa last night
She did, yon needn't doubt il
A lovely lady dressed In white ;
I'll tt 11 you all about It.
They harried Leo and an to bed,
And Auuty said, "Now, maybe .
Taat pretty moon up overhead
Will bring os down a baby.
"Too lie as quiet as can be ;
Perhaps you'U catch her peeping
Between the window-bars to see
If all the folks are sleeping.
And then if both of you keep still.
And all the room is shady.
Shell float across the window-sill,
A bonnie nioou-wbite lady.
Across the sill, along the floor,
Yon'll see her shining briirlitly.
Until she comes to mother's door.
And then shell vanish lightly.
But in the morning you will Dud,
If nothing happens, maybe.
She's left us something nice behind
A beantif nl star-baby."
We didn't jnsi believe her then.
For Aunty's always chaffing ;
The talcs she tells to me and Len
Would make yon die a4aoghing.
And when she went out pretty soon,
Len said, "That's Aunty's hnniming ;
There aint a bit of lady moon.
Nor any baby coming."
I thought myself it was a Ah,
And yet I wasnt certain ;
So I kept quiet in the crib,
And peeped behind the curtain.
I dldnt mean to sleep a wink.
But, all withont a warning,
I dropped right off and dont yon think,
I never waked till morning I
Then there was Aunty by my bed,
' And when I climbed to kiss ber,
She bugfced and said, "Yon sleepy-head,
TonVe got a little sister!
What made yon shut your eyes so soon T
I've half a mind to scold you
For down she came, that lady moon.
Exactly as I told you !"
And truly it was not a joke.
In spite of Len'e denying.
For jnst the very time she spoko
We heard the baby crying.
The way we jumped and made a rush
For mother's room that minute !
Bat Anuty stopped as, crying, "Hash !
Or else yon shan't go in it"
And so we had to tiptoe in.
And keep as awful qniet
As if It was mighty sin
To make a bit of riot.
But there was baby, anyhow
The funniest little midget !
I jnet wish you conld jost peep in now,
And see her squirm and fidget. '
Len says he dont believe it's true,
(He isnt snch a gaby)
The moon had anything to do
With bringing as that baby.
But it seems to me it's very clear,
As clear as running water
Lat night there was no baby here,
So something mast have brought ber !
[Mary E. Bradley, in Christian Union.
Tis not in seeking,
Ti8 not in endless striving.
The quest is found :
Be still and listen ;
Be f till aud drink the quiet
Of all around.
. Not for onr crying.
Not for our loud beseeching,
Will peace draw near :
Rest with palms folded ;
Rest with eyelids fallen
Lo ' peace is here.
An Oyster Story.
This is an original story. It originat
ed with somebody years ago. It is
highly interesting story, said never
have been published before it ap
peared in some newspapers many
years ago, and as it's exactly in sea
son, it will be relished by all lovers
the delicious bivalve.
Scene A steamboat pantry Enter
"Sair, you keep ze raw oystair?"
Steward "Yes, 6ir; fine fat Prince
Frenchman "Tres bien; I will eat
some raw oystair."
The steward opened a fine raw one,
puts it on a plate before the French
man, who eyes it some time, then
Monsieur, you will call this good
'Yes, sir; prime."
The Frenchman swallows it, (the
first he ever ate) opens his eyes, and
puts his hands on his bread basket,
and "Bl a up" comes the oyster on the
Sacramentum! by gar, zat is no
"You do not put on 6alt and pep
"Oh, pardon me;" pr.ts on salt and
pepper, and swallows it
'B1 a up!" up it comes again.
uNow you tell me zat oystair
"Why, sir, you must use vinegar."
"Oh! oui certainment! be gar; oui,"
and swallows the same again.
"Bl a np!" and np again it comes
on the plate.
Just then a Bohemian enters.
"Give me a dozen raw."
Tiie Frenchman turns to him:
"Ah! my friend, you eatze raw oys
"You call zat ze raw oystair?"
"Yes; fine fat one."
"Ha! ha! tink zat is good oystair,
suppose you eat him."
With pleasure, sir," and the man
of notes gave it a dash of pepper
sauce, and bolted it.
The terrified steward stood aghast;
he don't mind 'sawing' a Frenchman,
but an old customer was another
The Frenchman turned on his heel.
"My friend, zat may be a good
oystair, but I don't like him I swal
low zat oystair three times."
"Bl a up," and np came the oyster,
and the Frenchman danced with de
light "Ah! monsieur, bad oystair, oui cer
The reporter, speechless with hor
ror, ran to a brandy decanter, swal
lows about half, and mizzled.
The Frenchman followed, remark
ing, "zai tarn bad oystitir."
Who finds peace in his home is happiest,
be he king or peasant.
What Shall We Do with Our
What Shall We Do with Our Boys?
It is as impossible to "make" a
chemist, or an engineer, or a natural
ist, of a boy, if he has no special taste
or aptness for these studies, as to
make a poet out of a Digger Indian.
It is no unusual circumstance for par
ents who have boys just entering
upon manhood to come to us desir
ing counsel in regard to placing them
in a chemical laboratory, that they
may "learn the trade," as to their
eyes the business appears remnnera
tive. They have no special genius,
no training in preparatory studies, no
decided leaning toward chemical matt
ipulation or research, but the desire
is to have them "made" into chemists.
There is a mistaken idea, common
with many parents, that their chil
dren are as well adapted to one em
ployment as another, and that they
only need opportunities to learn re
garding this pursuit or that to be
come proficients and rise to eminence.
Mora than half the sad failures so
commonly observed are due to being
forced into the wrong road in early
life. Young men are forced into pul
pits when they should be following
the plow; forced into courts of law
when they should be driving the
plane in a carpenter's shop; forced
into sick rooms as physicians when
they should be guiding a locomotive
or heading an exploring party in the
Rocky Mountains; forced into indus
trial laboratories when they should
be in the counting-room or shop.
It is a wise provision of Providence
that nearly every boy born into the
world has some peculiar distinctive
capability, some aptness for a partic
ular calling or pursuit, and if he is
lriven into channels contrary to his
instincts and tastes, he is in antagon-
sm with nature, and the odds are
against him. One of the earliest and
most anxious inquiries of parents
should be directed to the discovery
of the leanings of their children, and
they find that their boy, who they
earnestly desire shall adorn the bar
or the pulpit, is persistently engaged
in constructing toy ships, and wading
every puddle of water to test their
sailing qualities; if he reads books of
voyages, and when in a seaport steals
away to the wharves, to visit ships and
talk with sailors, it is certain he was
born for the sea. Fit him out with
sailor's rig, put him in the best pos
sible position for rising to the honor
able post of shipmaster, and you have
lischarged your duty.
If, on the other hand, he is logical,
discriminating, keen, fond of argu
ment, let him enter the law; if he is
fond of whittling, planing, sawing,
constructing, and neglects his stud
ies, turn him over to a good carpen
ter to learn the trade. If he begins
early to spend his pennies for sulphur,
nitre, oil of vitriol, aquafortis, etc.; if
he is such a persistent experimenter
that you fear he will kill himself or
set your building on fire; if his pock
ets are full of abominable drugs, and
his clothes so charged with the odor
of stolen eggs that you refuse to ad
mit him to the table at meal times,
why the chances are that he is a
born" chemist, and it will be safe to
start him off to some technical school
The question is, not what we will
make of onr boys, but what position
are they manifestly designed to fill;
in what direction does nature point,
as respects avocations or pursuits in
life, which will be in harmony with
their capabilities and instincts? It is
no use for us to repine and find fault
with the supposed vulgar tastes of
our boyes. We must remember that
no industrial calling is vulgar; every
kind of labor is honorable, and it is
far better to be distinguished as a
first class cobbler or peddler, than to
live the contemptible life of a fifth
rate lawyer or clergyman.
There are thousands of boys born
into the world possessing scarcely a
trace of ambition. Such do not care
for distinction, or even for wealth. If
they can procure the humblest fare
by constant toil, the aspirations of
thtdr boyhood, and subsequently of
their manhood, are fully met They
are negative characters, happy with
nothing, and suffer no elation or de
pression, whether in sunshine or
under a cloud. These boys, who
often afford much mortification to
ambitious parents, fill a most impor
tant niche in the world; in fact, the
world could not do without them.
They constitute the great army of
men who build our railroads, tunnel
our mountains, load and unload our
ships, cut down our forests, and man
ipulate the red hot iron masses which
come from our blast furnaces.
Scold and fret as we may, we can
not alter the temperament or procliv
ities of such boys. Nature is strong
er than we are, and it is well for us
that it is so. If our boys are born to
live in subordinate or humble posi
tions, we can hardly help it; we may
hold them in a false position by the
power of wealth, or strong controll
ing influence, but when those fail
they fall at once to their place, in
obedience to a law as irresistible as
that which Newton discovered in the
fall of the apple.
What shall we do with our boys?
Study to learn what they are capable
of doing themselves; aid them; en
courage them to do well whatever
work is suited to their natures, re
garding every calling as honorable,
the labor of which is honorably per
formed, and thus insure happiness
and prosperity to our offspring.
Boston Journal of Chemistry.
Death of the First-born.
This beautiful extract from Dr.
Holland's new book, "Arthur Bonni-
castle," will be read with deep and
tender interest by many whose ex
perience it truthfully portrays:
"I stand in a darkened room before
a little casket that holds the silent
form of my first born. My arm is
around the wife and the mother, who
weeps over the lost treasure, and can
not, till tears have their way, be com
forted. I had not thought that my
child could die that my child could
die. I knew that other children had
died, but I felt safe. We lay the lit
tle fellow close by his grand father
at last; we 6trew his grave with flow
ers, and then return to our sadden
ed home with hearts united in sorrow
as they had never been united in joy,
and with sympathies forever opened
toward all who are called to a kindred
grief. I wonder where he is to-day,
in what mature angelhood he stands,
how he will look when I meet him,
how he will make himself known to
me, who has been his teacher! He was
like me; will his grandfather know
him? I never can cease thinking of
him as cared for and led by the same
hand to which my own youthful fin
gers clung, and as hearing from the
fond lips of my own father the story
of his eventful life. I feel how won
derful has been the ministry of my
children how much more I have
learned from them than they
ever learned from me how by hold
ing my own strong life in sweet sub
ordination to their helplessness, they
have taught me patience, self-sacrifice,
self-control, truthfulness, faith, sim
plicity, and purity.
"Ah! this taking to one's arms a
little group of souls, fresh from the
hand of God, and living with them in
loving companionship through all
their stainless years, is, or ought to
be, like living in fteaven, for of such
is the heavenly kingdom. To no one
of these am I more indebted, than to
the boy who went away from me be
fore the world had touched him with
a stain. The key that shut him in
the tomb wa3 the only key that could
unlock my heart, and let in among
its sympathies the world of sorrow
ing men and women who mourn
because their little ones are not.
"The little graves alas! how many
they are! The mourners above them,
how vast the multitude! Brothers,
sisters, I am one with you, I trust
with you, I belong to you. Those
waxen, folded hands; that still breast
so often pressed warm to our own;
those sleep-bound eyes which have
been so full of love and life; that
sweet, unmoving, alabaster face; ah!
we have all looked upon them, and
they have made us one, and made us
better. There is no fountain which
the angel of healing troubles with his
restless and life-giving wings so con
stantly as the fountain of tears; and
only those too lame and bruised to
bathe, miss the blessed influence."
Meaning of the Hands.
Profound study has led a M. d'Ar
pentigny to the conclusion that the
hands represent three . types. Those
who have fingers with pointed tips
are possessed of a rapid insight into
things; are extra sensitive, pious and
impulsive. To this class belong the
poets and artists. To the "square
tops" belong scientific people; sensi
ble, self-contained characters, profes
sional men. The spade-shaped tops
thick tips, with little pads of flesh
on each side of the nails are mater
ialists, commercial, practical, with a
high appreciation of all that tends to
bodily ease and comfort. Each finger,
no matter what the kind of hand, has
also one joint that which is nearest
the palm representing the body; an
other the middle the mind; and
the top, the soul. Each of these di
visions corresponds with one of the
types above given.
Wishing to keep a souvenir of his
vifdt, an excursionist to Brighton,
who had never seen the sea before,
thought he would take home with
bi n a bottlefull of sea-water. While
he was in the act of filling the bottle
an old salt, who had been watching
"What are you up to?"
"Why, filling my bottle with salt
water, as you see."
"Well, you must only half fill it"
"Cos if you don't, when the tide
rises itU be sure to overflow."
An aged Highland divine having
occasionally to avail himself of pro
bationers, a young man, veiy vain of
his accomplishments as a preacher,
officiated, and on descending from
the pulpit, was met by the gentleman
with extended hands. Expecting
high praise, he said, "No compli
ments, 1 pray. "Na, na, na, my
young friend," said the minister;
"nowadays Ini glad o'ony body!"
A Chinaman came down one of the
main streets of Millerton, Cal., on
election day, in a 6tate of inebriation
and of joyfut exaltation, and thus de
livered himself: "Hoop la! me all
s.une Melican man. Hair cut short
and drunk like h L' Hoop la!"
An Open Letter to Any Girl
Who Claims It.
They tell me you are what the
world calls a flirt; that all the little
attractions which nature has given
you have been subordinated to base
uses, and you have openly boasted of
the conquests you have made through
the power of coquetry. Pause, I beg
of you; it is not yet too late; you can
not know whither this tendency is
leading you, or you would never have
entered the path. There are many
reasons why you should pause. The
fact that you are so debasing your
womanhood proves conclusively that
you could have never have known the
power of a passion ' that has many
times made angels of demons. Oh!
you blush. It is well; it gives hopes
for the future; it tells that you are
not dead to reason and shame. Shall
I tell you why you are on the brink
or temoie aangen jjoes not your
own heart tell you that some time, as
there enters into the heart of every
man and every woman, sooner or
later, a love stronger than death and
true as truth, so it must come to you,
and in your soul of souls you must
feel that the only man worthy of
the admiration and love of any woman
is one that would not for an in
stant trifle with the affections of an
other? Do you think the true man
Tjhom you could honor r.s a husband
would care to take to his embrace a
wife whose lips" had been sullied
by careless and promiscuous contact
with any who had chanced to be the
plaything of the hour? You may
plead, in extenuation of your fault, that
you were engaged to those whose ca
resses you permitted, but, in the sev
eral instances referred to, discovered
before it was too late that you had
mistaken a passing fancy for a life
long affection. It is no excuse at all.
Indeed, it proves you weaker than be
fore. You have no right to promise
yourself in marriage to a man whom
you are not sure you can love until
death. Then, when you so far forget
your womanly dignity as to snap at
any chance bait that may be offered,
to find out later that you are mistak
en, you must not wonder that your
name is bandied carelessly about
among your masculine acquaintances,
and the better kind of men begin to
There is a difference, my young
friend, between prudishness and wo
manly self respect, and you will al
ways find that any man, high or low,
pure in thought or thoroughly de
based, will not forget the deference
due to a true woman. Yrou ought to
know instinctively that familiarity is
no evidence of manly regard, and the
proffered caress too often springs from
a motive so base that I need not
name it. Guard yourself, then, that,
when the time does come in which
you can truly say to any man, that he
is more to yon than all else, you will
have no reluctance to lay before him
the history of your past life, unspot
ted by the breath of suspicion, un
tarnished by practices not open to
the world; and, when the time does
come, as you would have true sym
pathy and happiness in the future,
give each other your confidence re
garding the past: let there be no
sealed pages, no forgotten details,
whose ghostly presence will haunt
you ever after, and, if discovered,
cast a shadow between you and him
who trusted you.
The Way 'Twas Done.
The following dialogue between a
highfalutin lawyer and a plain wit
ness is a good hit at the fashion of
using big, crooked words:
"Did the defendant knock the
plaintiff down with malice pretence?"
"No, sir; he knocked him down
with a flat-iron."
"You misunderstand me, my friend;
I wish to know whether he attacked
him with any intent?"
"0, no, sir, it was outside of the
"No, no; I wish to know if it was
a preconcerted affair?"
No, sir; it was not a free concert
affair, it was at a circus."
bir lletciier isorton, wno was
somewhat ill-mannered, when plead
ing before Lord Mansfield on some
question of menorial rights, chanced,
unfortunately, to say, "My Lord, I
can illustrate the point by an instance
in my own person; I myself have two
little manors." The Judge immed
iately interposed with one of his
blandest smiles, "We all know it, Sir
A Western paper says that Letty
Hough will never lecture any more
in public. She has made a perma
nent engagement. lis name is
Gregory. Lucy lectured last winter
on "Popping the Question," telling
how it ought to be done. Gregory
did it This illustrates the advan
taeres of the scientific education of
An unstamped letter was deposit
ed in an Indiana postoffice last week,
and underneath the address was the
endorsement, "Let her slide, Post
master, she s all iiunk; inside air one
of ihem post-hole keerds."
The Congregationalist has seen
tiiia item in a late invoice af fashion
al le New York furniture. "Elegant
ly upholstered kneeling benches
for the weary and heavy laden."
The Cash System.
The determination on the part of
our CTOcers. to eell rroods for cash
only, after the 10th of this month,
has given rise to considerable discus
sion in the community some taking
one side of the question and some
the other. There cannot be a doubt
that the cash system, if it could be
introduced, would -work to the ad
vantage of both seller and buyer.
Our grocers are terribly crippled in
their business by their inability to
collect .what is due them. Their long
standing accounts are numerous.
Many persons come in and buy goods
month after month, and sometimes
year after year, have them charged,
and never say a word about paying
for them. Their accounts thus run
up to large amounts before they are
aware of it, and when a bill is pre
sented, they are not only surprised
that it is so large, but they have not
the wherewith to pay it The result
is that our grocers are obliged to do
without their money. There ia not
grocer in the place who has not
hundreds, and some of them thous
ands, of dollars thus outstanding,
which he greatly needs just now to
enable him to replenish his stock and
pay his own debts. It is to put a
stop to these long standing accounts,
to get what is actually due them, to
guard against loss and to put them
selves in shape to do business as it
ought to be done, that our grocers
have adopted the cash system. Such
system, every one knows, will work
But it will work to the advantage
the buyer as well. Let us see
1. The buyer will not purchase as
much under the cash system. When
man buys goods on credit, he inva
riably is more extravagant than when
pays cash. It is easy to go to a
store and buy things, when one has
them charged. Besides, a thousand
little things are bought under such
circumstances that would not be
bought if he had to pay cash. Thus
is seen that the cash system leads
person to be more saving of his
money, and will enable him to lay up
mora than he would under the credit
2. One always gets goods cheaper
when he pays the cash. A grocer, or
any other business man, who sells on
credit, must charge a per cent ou his
goods, over and above living rates,'
sufficient to pay a fair interest on the
money he has standing out and to
cover all bad debts. These two items
foot np a large amount in every gro
cery in town and the buyer has to
pay them. But under the cash sys
tem these two items are canceled, and
consequently the price of goods is
lower to that extent. The advantage
this is all on the side of buyer.
When he pays cash, he has nothing
to pay, except what the goods are
worth and a fair per cent, of profit to
the seller for his trouble in handling
Our advice to eveiy one, whether
he sells or buys, is to do a cash busi
ness as far as it i3 possible. He will
find it greatly to his advantage in the
long run. Exchange.
One who can always get bread
when he kneads it A baker.
To Our Young Readers.
The long evening9 have come again, and the boys
and girls have now more time for reading and writ
ing. We want them all to try to contribute some
thing to the "Youth's Department" of the News,
which is Intended for their special beiient. Let ns
have original Enigmas, Charades, Puzzles, Prob
lems, Rebuses, Anagrams, Conundrums, &c. Ac.
Be careful to make no mistakes in tpclling, and al
ways send the correct answers, together with your
real name, which will not be published, unless yon
desire it, but the editor wants to know mho the con
We know there is talent enough among the bright.
wide-awake young people who read the News, to
make this Department Interesting, and keep it sup
plied with original matter. Let all of them put on
their "thinking caps," at once, and send ns their
productions. Ed. T. D.
My first is Jane, bat not in Sue,
My second is in brown, but not In bine,
My third is in high, bnt not in low,
My fonrth is in rain, also in snow,
My fifth is in two, but not in four,
My sixth is in roof, and also in floor,
My seventh is in orchard, but not in fruit,
My eighth is in pants, but not in boots,
My whole forms the name of my son-in-law.
Mowrytown, O. FL'NK.
A girls name.
Problem—An Answer Requested.
There were fifteen travelers who baited at a pub
lic house, and called for a dinner. It was served np
and placed upon a three cornered table, live sitting
on each side. They invited the landlord to dine
with them. After they had finished their meal,
they proposed to count, commencing at some one
and count five, and who ever counted five was to
leave the table, or in other words, every fifth man
was to step out. They further agreed that the lost
man left was to pay the bilL They so counted as
to have it fall upon the landlord. Now, what seat
did the man occupy who started the count?
My first is in yon, but not in me,
lily second is In latch, but not in key.
My third is in cold, but not in heat,
My fourth is in hands, but not in feet,
My fifth is in thirst, but not in slake.
My whole is often to be seen on a lake.
Ililisboro, O. J. S. II.
Mb. Editor: Answer to "Einalc's" Enigma in
Ne-vs of Nov. alth, is the Kiver Euphrates. An
swer to 240'8 Problem In News of Nov. 7th is.
Thomas's share would be IDS', James' share would
be Stf . W. SCOTT HOLMES.
Ililisboro, 0. Nov. 2T, 1873.
Sarah Brown, Buford, also sent the correct an
Bwer to "Einalc's" Enigma.
Enigma by "Haras" is accepted, and will appear
Answer to Enigma in last week's News. "O for
a thousand tongues."
Answer to Decapitations in lost week's News.
Chat Hat At,
Why People Don't go to
Why do people not go to church
more? One thinks it is this, and an
other thinks it is taat lou can
open a church in a hovel, and let a
voice go forth that has tho power of
touching men, and you will find it
crowded and thronged. You do not
want the cobs that used to have corn.
That which man wants is sappy food,
refreshing food. Men are willing to
be dealt with, to have their sins
flashed in their faces, willing to have
their conscience aroused, but do not
want to be nandled. bney want a
preacher that takes hold of them in
some way, and if he can do more
than that; if he can give to them
that which every man needs;
some men have aspirations, and some
more indulgent in superficial thought
and if he can give him strength to
bear his burden. Men that are sore
life; men who are in sorrow; wo
men who don't know how to bring
up their children, and who are con
tinually having more and more added
their flock; people who want to
know where the next hod of coal is
coming from; people who are afraid
the Sheriff; men who are pricked
with the ten thousand nettles of hu
man life they come to church and
hear a long discussion on the fall of
Adam. Well, that is not importune,
but still they 'res so flat themselves
that they feel as if they would like to
know something that deadens the
struggle that is going on within them;
minister who brings God down to
the side of men, not as an everlasting
condemnor, but one who brings God
down as a present help in the time
trouble. Henry Ward Beecher.
Almost every boy who goes gun
ning, il be can nnd notmng tnat ne
wants to bang away at, considers it
the next best thing to kill a few wood
peckers. They look so funny, wrong
end up on the side of a tree, bobbing
and whacking around the loose bark,
that the temptation is strong, and
the poor, jolly hammerer has no
friends so bang! and down he
comes, and he is given to the dog to
play with and tear to pieces. That
poor little bird, if over a year old, has
killed and eaten many hundred thous
ands of bugs' larvsc, in the form of
grubs and worms, and almost every
one of a kind which is injurious to
vegetation. The cat-bird, one of our
finest sinsrers, and a bird that is al
ways sociable, if ever permitted to be
so, eats a cherry occasionally, and of
course he must be banished or suffer
death. He pays a better price for
every cherry he eats than any fruiter
er would dare demand in the market,
the worms he destroys, and throws
a complete Dira-opera several
times a day in the bargain. From
St Nicholas for December.
"Have you ever read the 'Ancient
Mariner?' " asked the Eev. Mr. Spurg
eon one day of his congregation
"I dare say you thought it one of the
strangest imaginations ever put to
gether, especially that part where the
old mariner represents the corpses of
all dead men rising up to man the
ship dead men pulling the rope,
dead men steering; dead men spread
inr the sails. I thought wnat a
strange idea that was. But do you
know that I have lived to see it done?
have gone into churches; I have
seen a dead man in the pulpit; a dead
man as a deacon; a dead man hand
ling the plate; and dead men sitting
Fiatterry iz a very powerful stimu
lant, but its grate strength lays in
being delikately administered.
Thare iz some men who will take
az they dew hasty puddin and milk,
just gap, and swallow.
Honest flattery stans in the same
relashnn tew just praze that interest
duz tew money.
Every man iz entitled tew the in
terest on hiz munny, and seven per
cent of flattery wont hurt any man
who iz honestly entitled tew the
Flattery alwuz makes a wise man
humble and kerful, but it haz the
same effek on a phool that a band of
musik has on a plough boss, the fust
time he hears it
James Jenkiss," said a schoolmaster
to his pupil, "what is an average?"
"A thing, sir," answered the scholar,
promptly, "that hens lay eggs on."
"Why do you say that, you silly boy?"
replied the pedagogue. "Because,
sir," said the youth, "I heard a gen
tleman say the other day as a hen
would lay, on an average, a hundred
and twenty eggs a year."
A young poet once asked Douglass
Jcrrold to pass a candid criticism on
two of his productions. Jerrold
waited rather impatiently until his
tormenter had concluded reading the
first poem, and then quickly exclaim
ed: "I like your other poem the
best" "But you have not heard it
read." "That is why I prefer it."
There is nothing "goes against the
grain" more than mill-stones.
A legal tender A lawyer minding
"Talk about the jaws of death,''
exclaimed a henpecked husband,
"they are no circumstance compared
to the jaws of life."
When a baby comes into the house
hold, it is only a little shapeless, red
faced thing, with tiny double fists
that move themselves about at noth
ing, and an appetite disproportion
ally large in comparison with its
T7 -L . - .
acs, is comes as a sort oi mon
arch that helpless little handful, and
it begins to reign forthwith.
Its voice not exactly the voice of
a turtle, either being heard in the
land, all other sounds are forgotten.
It matters not who has no dinnerr
so that he has his, nor who is tired
so that he enjoys himself. Ordinary
occupations cease, and the group
gathers ubout the cradle to see him
put his fists in his mouth. A small
fringe of hair on the back of his head,
is more beautiful in the eyes of the
household, than the floating locks of
any golden blonde on earth; and
while some adult is quietly advised
to have his aching wisdom tooth
pulled out and not bother any more
about it, the family rush pell-mell to
the cradle side, to see what a won
derful thing baby's first tooth peep
ing through its gums.
King Baby, do you know any
thing about all this? If you did
you might look forward very sadly.
In after life there will be. no such
adoration of you. Words of wisdom
will fall unnoticed from your lips
then, though when you have learned
to say "bla! bla!" the household now
goes into ecstacies.
Your little natural kicks and wrig
gles that are so charming, are noth
ing to tne bard work you wul do
without a "thank-you" from any one.
Your sleeping, eating and smiling will
interest no one but yourself when
you are a man. It is well that you
do not know it But now you are a
king, and, in truth, a home is made
happy by such a little monarch.
Reign on. I am one of your subjects,
and I pity any one so stern and cold
that he does not bow a little before
the great Grand Llama, the Babe of
the House. Mart Kyle Dallas.
Talking of lessons, I wonder if the
St Nithola3 children have any idea of
how many girls and boys go to
night schools. The poor little things
have to work during the day, and so,
rather than not to have any school
ing at all, they say their lessons at
night. Not only young persons,
but middle-aged men and women at
tend these schools. I know of one
man past forty years of age who has
learned to read at a night school
within the last two years. All honor
to him and tho school too. Such
schools ubound now in the large cit
ies. They have fine rooms, good
teachers, and many thousand pupils
in alL Capital thing; but (whisper)
I'm glad I don't have to go. Jack-in-
tiie-Pulpit St. Nicholas for De
ceiaber. A German peddler sold a man a
liquid for the extermination of bugs.
"And how do you use it?" inquired
the man, after he had bought it
"Ketch the bug, un drop von little
drop in his mouth," answered the
"Pshaw!" exclaimed the purchaser,
"I could kill it in half the time by
stamping on it."
"Veil," calmly explained the Ger
man, "dot is a good way, too."
A full set of false teeth were pick
ed up in a Fifth avenue stage the
other day by a "country member,"
who offered the corpus delicti to ev
ery lady passenger in turn. They all
disavowed them, and one was so in
dignant that she could not be induc
ed to open her rigid hps in response
to the inquiries of Busticus. She
left the stage at the next crossing.
A Dacotah Sheriff attached a show
the other day, and while tacking np
a "sale notice" on the elephant's
hind quarters, which the official took
for a small barn, the animal swung
his tail around. There were eight
hacks at the funeral.
Husband who had been out West
on business, and left his wife some
bl. :nk checks "Mary, I find that you
have considerably overdrawn at the
bank." Mary "Nonsense, John,
how can that be? I've two of those
blank checks left yet"
At a juvenile party one little fellow,
rejoicing in the splendor of his new
clothes, went up to another with the
triumphant remark: "You ain't dress
ed as well as I am." "Well," retorted
tb 3 other, "I can lick you, anyhow."
The reputation of a man is like his
shadow it sometimes follows and
sometimes precedes him; it is some
times longer and sometimes shorter,
than his natural size.
"Grandma, why don't you keep a
servant any longer?" "Well, you see,
child, I'm getting old now, and can't
take care of one as I used to, you
Men of decision judges.
A rising man A lamplighter.
The oxidizied buckle mania is sub
The young man who boasted that
ha could marry any girl he pleased,
found that he couldn't please any.
. A good joke is told of a little four
year old fellow who, having disobeyed
his father, was about to incur the
penalty a switching. The father
deliberately prepared a rod, while
liis son stood a sad and silent specta .
tor. As the parent approached to
the unpleasant duty, the boy started
at a brisk run toward a neighboring
hilL The father pursued, and for a
time the youngster increased the dis
tance between them; but gradually
his strength began to fail, and when
he reached the hill and began to as
cend he soon lost his vantage grouud.
Nearer and nearer the irate father
approached, ami just as the top of
the hill was reached, and as he
came within arm's length of the
little fugitive, who was ready to fall
from exhaustion, the boy quickly
faced about, dropped upon tho
ground, and with an indescribable
cast of countenance exclaimed: "Pa
pa, that makes a fellow blow
don't it?" This changing of the sub
ject, was 60 extremely ludicrous
that the' father laughed, heartily over
the strategy which his hopeful son
exhibited, and the rod was not used.
Seem What You Are.
If God made you half a fool, it is
better that you should seem to be
half a fool than that you should make
believe that you are wise. AH sorts
of animals are willing to seem what
they are. An ass is always willing
to be thought an ass; and he honors
God in it An owl is always willing
to be thought an owl; and he fulfills
the function given to bim, even if 1ft
does look wiser than he is. And a
man should be willing to be just what
God made him. Not that he should
not desire to increase, to augment,
his talents; not that he should not
put his money out at interest; but a
man who is ignorant, had better ad
mit himseif to be ignorant A man
who is not a genius had better .not
think himseif to be a genius. A man
who is poor had better think he is
poor. A man that is unskilled had
better admit that he is unskilled.
Whatever you are, while you strive
for greater excellence, stand on that
which is true and great, and do not
make yourself out to be more than
you are. Do not attempt to put on
guise and pretense, in vain hope of
winning praise. Beecher.
When to Cry.
At a mission Sarnlay-acUool, not long
since, a little boy in the infant class was
seen crying bitterly. Tlie teacher upon
inquiry, learned that he had lost a mother,
and she said, no one knew what loss it was
until they had lost a mother, and that John
ny Lad a good cause for crying. At this
moment a little urchin jumped up and said,
"Oh, teacher, you just wait till he gets a
step-mother, then youH hear him cry."
A gentleman the other day, saw
his daughter dipping her little doll-
baby's dress into a tin-cup, and in
quired: "What are you doing, my
daughter?" "I'm coloring my doll's
dress red." "With what?" "With
beer." "What put that foolish no
tion in your head, child? You can't
color red with beer!" "Yes I can pa,
because ma said it was beer that made
your nose red." And tho man had
business that required him down
"What is love, Nanny?" asked a
Scotch minister of one of his parish
oners, alnding of course, to the word
in its Scriptural sense. "Hoot, fye,
sir," answered the blate Nanny, blush
ing to the een-holes, "dinna asked
me sic a daftlike question. I'm sure
ye ken as weel as me that lov's just
next to the cholera. Love is just the
worst inside complaint for a lad or
lassie to have."
It takes a smart woman to be a
I don't think, from what i kan lam,
this iz a good year for mothers-in-
law, i hear a good deal ov komplaint
There is only one way to suckceed
in the mother-in-law bizziness, and
that iz, don't run after yure children,
but keep back, and let them hunt
Good mothers-in-law don t hve much
nearer than fifteen miles ov their
children and alwus let the children
do the heft of visiting. Josh Bill
Probably the only man who iaiows
anything about the provisions of A.
T. Stewart's will is A. T. himself, but
a correspondent says that in addition
to giving large sum3 for hospitals,
museums, and other things, he will
give his splendid mansion to the city
for an art gallery. He is seventy
eiht, and never had any children.
A wag who thought to have a joke
at tlie expense of an Irish provision
dealer, said, "Can you supply ma
with a yard of pork?" "Pat, gave
this gentleman three pig's feet."
If i was a minister, and had tew preach
the gospel tew mi people, whose religion,
nine-tenths of them, waz the result of their
fears, and who want willing tew giy me but
four hundred and fifty dollars a year, (half
store pay, and the rest after harvest) i
should resigns mi charge, and enter that
field az a missionary. -
A farmer in Augusta, Ga., lately
discovered that his dog was in the
habit of milking a fine cow for his