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The Vinton record. (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1866-1891, April 04, 1867, Image 1

Image and text provided by Ohio Historical Society, Columbus, OH

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85038222/1867-04-04/ed-1/seq-1/

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!,ifeusnt every Thursday, r
Mis. KUTII C. UHATIJON,
,.. ai iiraiun s uulliling, aat of the. ,
' Court-House. '
TERMS op aCiscitiPTioy.
Eight months,...,.,.,.,,..,.,..,., J 00
n.Y uiriii in nuvnuce in an cases.
, , A. Ilrntlou, .
A TTUKNEY AfLAW, MoARTUUK, OHIO,
fx will attend to nil leg! buainus euUuatod
uis caie m vinlon. Athefn, Jacket
Koti, Hocking, and adloininir counties. Purtlu.
Ur ttteatioa given loth oolreclon of soldiers
claims for petinioim. bounties, arrears of pay,
ete., against the U & or Ohio, iDcludl g Mur-
(SB raid Oiaime. : . . jant
Back Taj-, Bounty and Fen
. ions ..." . ..
ILL bo eol looted promptly by -
EUWAKU A.
PKATTOM,
i i ' M ARTIIL'H. OHIO
oil souiiers, woo. are by Jaw, entitled W
A H -.1 I . '
,Pt uotiuty and 1'cnsions, od. wld
i.s,itiieia, mothers, Mothers, and sister of
ucccaFca soiaicrs- claims will bo prcniptlv at-
IWdQd tO. - . . j'jtf
. a- Hi to.
ARCIUBLD SUTO,
II. A; A. JIavo. ,
ATTCENEYS AT LAW, MoARTliUR, 0.1
will attend promptly to all legal busluoss
aiiinma to ftciu. ymce lu Uuurl Uouso, ate.
nrmur, umu. , ltny.
l - . y
1A1ST. AGEHT.f-BwkTuy. BoU it
"1
ledY'1
arttf
VV PenrioLS will be pjm ally ovIUel.
Of.
Boa to tlia Court JIwwmt, Mo Arthur, Ohio, i All
ikiir o. a :ntuld
bf law to baok p
a
nuupiT ana pensions, and .b claims ot w
owt, fatheso, mother. Jrohoia aud Ntera will
be pomptlT attend, dto. jiit
. . -J. J. JIcDowcll,
ATTORNEY AT LAW 0 CLAIM AGENT,
will praclicein Vloton ai dadioiniog ooun
AltK), Do t If illector of lnteru U Kov
enna. -Uffiua In tliaVlntep Co. Bauk. jns
Homer C. Jones,
ATTOKNEt AT LaW.M.jARTHUU, OHIO,
J will attend pron.pdy to ull busino.ts 'utrus
Ud to bit care.
Offloo-OTerT. B. Da via' Store, Main efoct,
Ko.irtbur, Ohio. jan24
T
II O G 13 S S
RESIDENT DEX'iIST
JACKSON, C. II mo.
i HTTeoth pxtrncted by the use of Li on-
i. W. J. AYoUz,
WATCH Miul t'LOCK-MAKEK
ilulbirt'g Jliiildli. Mc.lrthiir U.
Wutehc.s;i!UK'kf;jt'vt'lry; iVciilwiivstin
hand. TCairiiijr tlone to onlrr. Juiilly
HiSttlIaiiias,
TIHSOH SO, Mil
, UXINXORPOKATED,
M'ABTHUR
stockiiolders;
Joseph j. Mcdowell, rn$'t.
JAMES W. DELAY, Cash.
II. S. Biindt, K. 1. Dodok, A. Voi.k,
II. V. Avstiji, D.VJUNXKr.a, F. Stuoko,
A. A. Al'MTIX.
Hank of DUcotint and IXKsit.
Will buy and sell (Jovcruuiuiit Securi
ties, Honda, Ac.
Collations niado at the usual rates.
jitnjMtf '
Change of Time.
M. A C. ii.'lt., TIME TABLE.
1?K0M and alter Sunday the Uth day of Dee.
1 1886, Iraina will leave- Station named at
follows !
OOINO KAST.
itfort.
0 15 u m
1 fi7 p m
3 36 s m
8 62 it m
4 13 p ui
- 8 03 piu.
001X0 WK8T,
Mail.
6 40 a in
10 10 a m
10 33 a in
10 45 a m
, 12 28 p 111
8 00 p m
Stations.
Ciucinnnti,
Chill ieothe,
IliUuden,
MoArtliur,
ZaleHki.
Marrletta, .
ft(itinn$.
Marrietta,
Zaleski,
MeArthur,
Ilaiudcn,
Chillieotlir,
Cineinnati.
Kight Ex.
12 H5 a Ul
5 05 a ru
8 28 a ni
6 41 a ui
7 01 a n.
10 43 u m
Xight Ex.
7 05 p in
11 00 p m
11 31 p ui
11 42 pm
. 1 20 a m
ft 50 a ui
L. ENQELBRECHT,
WHOLESALE GROCER
' -AND
TIIOD UCE DEALER,
Corner of Front and Madison Streets,
Portsmouth, Ohio.
BUY. all kinds of Country produce;
novSnit
Z. Thomas,
BOOT AMD 8HOKMAKEK, Logan atreet.one
door South of Mra. Dodge'a Millinery Es
tablishment, MoArtbjr, O., manufactures to
order all wok in bis line. '
Repairing also done with leatn'sa and dis
patch. Satlafaotion guaranteed std price
derate. , - .. .reozsmS. -
TRACY, IRWIN & CO.,
" il 'u Hi Broadway, New York,
Dry Goods Jobbers,
, ESTABLISHED 1835.. :
srsma trade ise7.
WKteqneet the epeoial attention of Can n try
' Merohanta to the large and attractive
stock of alt tloods In the Wholesale Dry Goods
line, whtoh we .are aow offering at oar new
rarehonae, No.4Ii BroadwaT.New York. -Buysra
visiting the dty are aolioited to call
,pon . . . v . . .-, . r r
. We give Particular attention (a nrJm
nail, wbioh will b filled at aa low prlcea a if
.L. LnA mm Wa .AHbakaIIm . '
ui.du;ii n poiDvoauj pieaeni. circulars,
with full particular, eent on raqoaat. . , ,
i ' We ealt attaotion to the high repwtatJoa ear
.honae haa enjoyed for many years, and aaanre
U who may beil with ur cf fair and liberal
traertunt.., .TPACY, IRWIN A CO.,'
mtrUHf I -i '.i. i 417 Bieadwey, Xi jfii
: ' '
,AT4a!'C i mini a I : . )i u i . , v' . . 77, . . . .
VQLI 2. (1 9 r f j tM'ARTHUH VINTON COUNTY. OHIO, APRIL 4.
f - - ... .1, -r ' .
1867.
i r
NO. 14
CHASTELLAR'fl
UAlR-'liXTERHLYATOR !
For IteiiiovjBff Svptrfluous Hair.
To tin ladle tapacially, thla lnvaluublo da
pllatOfTioirimeud itaL Micitiff an.abaMt
UdlKpaipile Viclao,few ajboaiity 'a iwily
applied, doaa not barn or Injure the akin, but
aota airactly on theroote. It la warranted to
remove opeinuouneirtftom low forohiade, or
irum my ran oi tne ooajr, ccniplololy , totally
and radically extirpating the tame, leaving tbe
ii,aniooia it natural. hm m tne o
iy allele uaad bthe' French, fend la the on
real effeolaal, d llatori ia, ala(anm. i Pri.
75 ceaita per faokK aent poalpaid, e any al
dreH,on rfipt of an ofder, by
oinuin, onu r,i v.u., t herulPta,
marSly "23D Klver at., Troy, N. Y
7 0 ItBEJAJCX'intTIJiM
Anbnrn, Oplden. Tlaxen
. and Silken Curw,
L FK1BER LK CHEVECX. Oue applica
tion warranted to earl tiro most straight ana
stubborn hair of either sex Into wavy ringlet,
or heavy mawlveaaru). Kb been tired ky the
rihigubkis of ", ri4.'andL(tdorl,iWi. the
most gratjfyin.resulU. Doee no iijnry to trie
hair. Price b mill, eealed and postpaid, l
Descriptive Clrculsra mailed free. Address
BEKGElt, SHL'rrS CO., Chemist, ho. S8J
BiverSl ,Troy, N. Y.V Bole Agent for the
luitedStaw. - - nurtly
PIANOS & ORGANS
Anyone who can Pay ' '
$10, 90, $30, 810 or $50
a month,
Can ruroliaae"
Melodeon, Organ or Piano,
By tlii ay tern.
I will soil any of my large and cerofully so
looted stock of
rianog.Orgaii & nelodcoim
on the following y'rtrn:!
' JVr month
vntihmitl for.
O.-Rims and Melodeous, worth
?HH)triev, at $10
do do from 100 to MOO, 15
riunosaud Orwitig, worth from 200 to
m 20
do do dof:X)toljitlN).... 25
do do do 100 to V00.... 30
do do do$.-00 to SHOO 40
do do do 80110 to S700. ... 50
' By '.bis system of easy Monthly Famenu,
muny pe rona who v.ould And it impossible to
pay tliu full price of an lnlrnmer.t at once, are
enubled to pmohase and pay for one without the
leat Incnnvemence. ,
For full particulars, address
JOHN CHURCH, JR.,
West Konrth st., Cincinnati, 0.
Wholesale and Retail Agent for
Tne Knaiii Gold Mxiial 1'iamo, ..
8oubaiit. ScHaiB ACo.'s Dsraaioa I'iahos,
Maun ds Hamlin' Cahinkt OuoaxSj
SiioNiNoiK'a Gem Organs.
And various other good IMsnos, Crgan and
Melodeon. rnuiSlmt
There oomrth glad tidings of joy to all,
To young and to old, to groat and to sruull;
Tb beuuty whi.h onoe was so precious and
rare,
Ia free for all, and all may be fair.
By the ue of
CHASTELLAR'S
WHITE LIQUID
For Improving and Beautifying the Complex
ion. ,
Tbe moat valuiblo and perfeot preparation in
use, for giving the skin a beautiful pearl like
tint, that is only found In youth. It quickly
romovea Tan, Kreckloh, l'imples, Blotches,
Moth Tatcbes, Sallownena, Eruptions, aud all
impurities of the skin, kindlir healing the
same lasving the skin white ana clear rut ala
batter. It is tbe only article of tbe kind used
by the French, and is considered by the Puris
iun a indiapen able to a perfect toiloc. Up.
ward of 80.1H0 bottles ware sold during the
past year, a suttlcions guarantee of it etllcaoy.
Price only 76 oents. Sent by mail, post paid,
on receipt of an order, by
liiKCEK, 6I1U fT8 & CO., Chemists,
aar21y 583 River St., Troy, N. Y.
H TOTJ WANT GOOD
V Photographs, : 'A
Ambrotypes, Opalotjrpes,
Or Auy Other Kind of IMct tires,
. ErTGO TOJ
C. J. RILLliXGUlRST.
He la better prepared than ever for Enlarging
Pictnrasto any the. . .
Take your old, faded, acratohed, and' defaced
piotnresto him, and you can have tbe fluest of
pictures made from them.
If yon want any kind of pictnrea framed',
large or small, he is always prepared to do that
kind of work. ' . ., -
If jou want a FINE GOLD RIHQ, or other
JEWELRY, call and eee him. , -, ,' '
If yon dont want anything, call! and eee his
pictures. -
He will always be (band at hi rocm dnrlnv
business hours, , fn T, B. Davis' building, np
stairs.
mart I
CRISPER COMA.
;. , '
Oh I h was heantiful an fair, '
v With atarrv ejre and radiant hair, u
Whose nrling tendril soft, entwined,-'
' ', Enchained the very hear: sad m.ind -n
:-,. :':. .-1
CRISPCR COMA :
For Curlinjf the EaMf either 'Sex' into
. Wat f and Gioy llitigleti or Heavy ; ,
W jm$K',vuru.-
Y uninJ tli'a article Ladies and Gentlemen
' eati beantify then selves a thousand fold.-
IE
ivrs tlieoolT ariicle In the world In at will earl
sVslbt hair, and at the aama tlm give'(t,a
b$adTiful, ' glossy appearance, Tbe Ciisper
Coma not only curls the hairV bat invigorates,
beautiflas and cleanses it; is highly and delight
fully perfumed, and ie the most complete arti
cla of the kind ever offered to the American
public. Tbe Crisper Coma will be sent wen y
address, sealed and postpaid for $ 1 .
Address all ordere to . i
. W. L. CLASS fc CO., Chemists, ' r
. . Ne.8 Wst FsyetU at., Syracuse. K. Y. .
a aril y - . ; . : , . , . ... ,
' Manhood and youthful vigor
r retained, by HalmVold's Extract Bn?ha.-'-;
POETICAL.
THE NOBLY BORN.
Who counts himself as nobly born,
, , , 1. noble iu U;Hi)it pf pluue, t ., .
' Ailit honors, are butbHuds to one
, W lio , wear them not with nature's
MM
i T)ie prince may sit with clown orchuri
"Sor felt his stifte disgraced thereby;" '
i Biit he whohas but HiiiHU eateeui, '-iu
:1 I;
AAisjuftMtisyiaimye (sarcfuiiy. ,u vj
J ThcTibetriou iieasantic tliiiti iwr.:ui:
1 : Count 11. still more tlmiv art thy own,' 1
. otimu u larger Heraldry ; ,i
i nau mut, or nation or pf ;
zone.
'...... I, . ..... :1 1
n
i What thotiKh not bid to knightly hulls
I ThoMi bulb liuve niiiHl a courtly guevjt
. a mi i, nmiiKuiu is nut prpvjirvc " , ,
;' J Which is not opened to the best.
'. --.'li ..: .ti. .
Give honor due when ctihtoui asks, .
Xor wrangle for the Jesser claim.' "'U
-It 3 not lobe 'destitute ' Vi'' :
. Jo have the thing without the Dame. ' i
"Tli(Si;'tto8t 'tn6u cime''6f'iioVeloolll! '
'" Disarrae nbt thv iroerf mtHmlir j li'-O
9 If lowly .fcornv sbea tlyir j i,;-; ni
, .xta.viuiu Wivuy Uvj tVUIV VI blirC
THE NOBLY BORN. LITERARY.
We clip the following articles
from the Annual Offering of the
MeArthur Young Men's Christian
Association:
Our Association. Who knows
what distinguished personages may
be able, in the future, to trace
1.1. m
uieir eany training back to our
Association. Among the members
may be silently rearing Washing
tons, Jeflersons, Lihcolns, who may,
in coming time, guide the Ship of
State. Here may be Luthers, Cal
vins, Wesleys, to be the standard
bearers of another Reformation,
and to proclaim to' the world, in
tones that will echo through all
time, the mercy of Ilim who died
to redeem us. There is nothing
like keeping the lamp of Hope well
trimmed, because it is the anchor
to the Soul ; and, even if we should
be disappointed in the anticipation
that great characters will be de
veloped in our midst, the idea is a
very' pleasant one to entertain.
But then we've mentioned only
the members of our society, whose
minds are to be expanded into
great intellectual proportions. We
would not forget the ladies ot Me
Arthur. Is there not enterprise
enough in them to form a society
to cultivate their minds, so that,
with our distinguished men, we
may have growing up in our midst
Hannah Mores, Mrs. Stowes, He
mans, and similar literary women?
Up, girls! and be, doing; laurels
await you perhaps.
'
Tue heaviest member in our so
ciety weighs 180 pounds; the
lightest 100 pounds; average
weight 147. The whole body, if
weighed at once, 3,830 pounds.
Tallest member, six feet ; lowest
five feet, one inch ; average hight,
five feet six inches. - The members,
standing on each other's heads,
would be 157 feet. Oldest mem
her, forty-four years ; youngest, 17
years ; average 24 years. The
age of the whole is 638 years. We
comprise two dry goods merchants,
one hard ware merchant, four clerks,
two stock-dealers, two cabinet-makers,'
one saddler, one miller, two
carpenters, one butcher, one shoe
maker, two law-s'tudents, two farm
ers, one teacher, two preachers,
and three 'gentlemen I . We don't
mean to say, however, that we are
not all gentlemen. We have one
Captain, one Lieutenant, one Ser
geant, one Chaplain, one Quarter
master,' and four privates, U. S, A
also, six ,0.,'N. .Guards. , We are
taller than a church steeple, weigh
more than a hay-stack, and are
four times as old as Abraham !
General Jackson and the Turtle.
Among the many charges brought
by the opponents of General Jack
son against him, to prove that he
was not fit .for the Presidency, was
that he was illiterate, and this was
the honegt belief of a great many
everywhere.' . ; .
' During his administration a ves
sel arrived at Norfolk' from the
West Indies, and on it ii deck were
several sea turtles; ' Among them
was a giant of iv reptile which at
tracted the attention of -everybody
who Went aboard. The captain had
them all taken on the wharf and
exposed for sale. Among those
whe admired the huge fellow above
mentioned were several leaders of
tne unterrified," four or five of
whom made up a purse, bought the
monster, and by the next Washing
ion Doai 8jnt it up as a present to
iiick ry.
lie was much gratified at such a
present, and the inmates and visi
tors of the White House enjoyed a
fare treat in the way ot ''turtle
syup" of the most magnificent de
scription.
:''!Tne General wrote a very polite
rilote acknowledging the receipt ol
the prAsentjWhich was duly receiv
ed by Dr. A., who had sent it in the
nm of himself and his other De
hiocratic friends.
bhortly after the receipt ot the
General's answer, Dr. A. was hob
Wing along Main street, and just
when nearly in front of Mr. B.'s
book store, he was hailed by fivo
ami-jacKsonians as follows :
, "Well Doctor, have vou heard
from the General about your tur-
a 1 04
tie I
jf ps, answered Dr. A., "and
have his reply in mr pocket."
; "Let'bsee it! let's see it!" they all
cneu in a Dream.
"Here it is," Dr. A. replied.
He produced the note, and thev
read:
"Gentlemen: I thank you lor the
very fine tortoise you so kindly sent
me," c.
4here," said one of the gentle
men, "we had always heard that
your great man could not write
English, and now we know it. Who
ever heard of a turtle being called
tortoise?"
"Will you take a bet on it?" said
A.
"That we will,' answered tley,
and we will decide the point by
going into inend Ji.'s
So in they went, and both par
ties agreed to abide by the defini
tion of a certain dictionary then
the standard of the language. One
of them turned over its leaves till
he reached the word turtle. The
definition was, "a bird of the dove
Kina, ana in tne next line, "this
word is sometimes used to desig
nate the toitoise found on the
shores of the West Indies. It is a
corruption used by sailors and il
literate people?
"Are you satisfied, gentlemen?"
exclaimed Dr. A.; "I know you are
not sailors, so, by your own author
ity, you are illiterate. Be pleased
to pay your bets, and never after
this say that General Jackson can't
write Fnglish.'
They did as requested, givinir
each an order for six bottles of Ma
deira; and, as they went out of B.'s,
a bystander observed that there
was in the ear of each a very large
flea.
How to "Finish" a Daughter.
The following is said to be a sure
"rule:"
1. Be always telling her how
pretty she is.
2. Instil into her mind a proper
ove of dre' s.
3. Accustom! her to so much
pleasure that she is never happy at
lome.
4. Allow her to read nothing but
novels.
5. Teach her all the accomplish
ments, but none of the utilities of
6. Keep her in the darkest 'ig
norance of the mysteries of house
keeping." 7. Initiate her into the princi
ple that it is vulgar to do anything
herself.
8. To strengthen the latter be-
ief, let her have a lady's maid.
9. And, lastly, having given her
such an education, marry her to a
clerk upon five hundred dollars a
year, or a lieutenant going out to
a lort. r . ;
"Keno."
We have heard of a good manv
good ones, says an exchange, con
cerning the "little" game of "Keno,"
but tne following, perpetrated by
a local editor of a country paper,
will pass with any of them. Those
who are posted do not need to be
told where the "laugh comes in."
An honest, and unsophisticated
Teutonic; but who is a diligent
searcher after truth, made the.fol-
owing . pertinent inquiry of a
triend : - "Vat ish dat leedle games
ven'all der fellers set round mitder
dables, and ' put buttons on paste
board carts mit Jiggers on 'em, and
don't say.'; soxnedings already and
den bye und bye one fellers he says,
Genoo,' 'und deh all dem udder,
fellers -sarsOhh-U'
The American Captain and the
English Lady.
Captain Pearce was a gentleman
a merchant, a seaman, and a true
ana tried patriot in the American
devolution; neither his friends nor
his enemies eve doubting his val
or or pruuence. Alter tne peace
cf 1783, Captain P., was one of the
first of our citizens to ' attempt - a
commercial intercourse with the
subjects of Russia; and if not the
first, was one of the first that ever
displayed the Stars and Stripes at
vronsiaai. .
bhortly after hi arrival at St,
Petersburg, he accepted an mvita
tion to dine with his merchants.--There
was a large number at the
table, and nmong the rest was an
English lady, who wished to appoar
one oi me Knowing ones. This
lady, on understanding that- an
American was one of the guests,
expressea to tier tnends a determi
nation to quiz him. Accordingly
sne lastened to him like a tigress.
maRing many inquiries respecting
our habits, eustom, dress, manners,
uva uiuucs ui me euucauon,amuse
ments, fcc, Ac. '
To all her inquiries Capt. Pearce
gave answers that satisfied all the
company except the ladv: she wna
determined not to be satisfied, and
, . . . '.
mo lottowing uiaiogue toolc place.
Lady. Have the rich people in
your country any carriages ? . for 1
suppose there are some who call
themseives rich.
Captain P. My residence is in
a small town, on an island, where
there are but few carriages kept ;
uui in me larger towns and cities
on the main land, there are a num
ber that are kept in a style suited
to our republican manners.
L. 1 can't think where vou find
drivers. I should not think the
Americans would know how to
drive a coach.
C We find no difficulty on that
account, madam ; we can have plen-
f-1. .lt.il.n-r. mm A - l." - 1 ,
vj vi uiHa ur BCUUlllK lO ALIlgiauQ
lor them.
L. (speaking verv nuicM I
think the Americans ought to drive
the fnglish, instead of the English
driving the Americans.
C We did, madam, in the late
war; since tne peace, we permit
me angiisn to drive us I
1 he lady, half choked with rage.
sat mute a minute, and then left
the room, whispering to her friend:
"Ihe lankees are too much for
us in the cabinet as well as in the
field.
Parents and Their Children.
There is nothing better, nothing
safer, nothing so 6ure of bringing
forth the right fruit in the end,than
truth. Tell y&ur child the truth.
Tell him that obedience rea aires
unpaid sacrifices. Tell him that
he need not expect that a purse of
gold will drop into his hand the
moment he denies himself of a
coveted pleasure. Tell him that
the path of duty is often terribly
hard, and seldom leads to an oil
well, or a seat in Congress, or to a
Drown 6tone iront house. Tell him
that virtue sometimes brings t horns
enmities neglect. But tell him
that it is virtue, nevertheless; the
brightest, the noblest, and the best
of gifts,' and whatever come3 of
goodness, it is the one thing desir
able, itself above all price. Make
him leel that obedience is pleas
ure, that goodness is delight, that
love is altogether lovely, and he
will not expect to be paid for the
smallest service, and be tempted
to withhold a kindness when he is
not sure, of a reward. Parents
must cease appealing to the appe
tites and the avarice of their chil
dren, if they would have . them
anything but selfish and sensual.
a
Hints About Housekeeping.
We will give to Intellect, to re-
igion, and to all virtues, the honor
that belongs to them. And still it
may be boldly affirmed that econ
omy, taste, skill, and neatness in
the kitchen, have a great deal to
do in making life happy and : pros
perous. i
Nor is it indispensably necessa
ry that a house should be filled with
usuries. Ihe qualifications for all
good housekeeping can be display
ed as well on a small scale as on a
arge one.
: Skillful cooking is as readily dis
covered in a nicely baked potato
or a respectable johnny cake, as in
a nut brown sirloin or a brace , of
canvass backs. 1
The charm of good housekeep
ing is the order of econbmy and
taste displayed in attention to lit
tle things, and these ". little) things
have a wonderful influence.
a
.
f- ..cri u:xr-Ti
On annar. tn Hni-i
Each additional irihertloii:'.
II ....!
Cards, per yenr, ten hat, 8 OO
Wm
notices of Executors. AdAUuLUra)-' - A -1
tors and Guurdiaus, 2 OO
Attachment notices before J. P, . , A OO
Local notices, per Hue, ...... ..rry10
Yearly advertlsmenttrwlff be tharfred
90 per eolumti, and at porpiirtlonate
rates for Jew than coluwu. .ayablt ia
advance . v . -
On the Course Again.
( As was generally expected, the
unique Shillaber, having harnessed
Mrs. Partington to the car of the
American .Union, troted thereout
as a tandem teamlast week in
the following style:
"What's the matter, dear," said
Mrs. Partington, as Ike threw the
morning paper, that he had been
reading, do wn'on-the floor, -and
stamped upon it." "What makes,
you so-' bbstropolus," Isaac It
."They're going to stop the. im
portation of fire-crackers." reoMefl
Ike, with a flourish of his stupenous
ns" .. ' . -'A
"Well, well," said Mrs. P., as
soothing in her tone as; a poultice.
"I don't see anything harmonious
in that. And you need not be so
pugnascent about it, either, be
cause it doesn't infect vou. . an v.
how." ' '
"I'd like to know how they're
going to keep Fourth of Julv"
cried he, wiping an indignant tear
irommseye. "Uidn'tJobn Quin
cy Adams .tell us to burn all tin
tar-barrels, and ring the bells, and
nre an me crackers we wanted to!
And now Mr. Fessenden, only be
cause they burnt his citv down
last Fourth of July, is going to stop
their importation. I wish I was a
member of Congress. v
"Don't Isaac." the old ladv inter-
rupting him. "don't wish such
wicked thing as that. Remember
you have got. the family virtue to
maintain.' '
She looked tin ns aria annVn or
tho picture of the corporal of the
bloody 'Leventh on the wall: a sirrh
raised the white kerchief on her
breast, at the sis-tit of that S nnrrnn
embodiment of virtue : and. civinc
Ike a new - three-cent pieco that
she mistook lor a one. she relaosed
into the stew then pending., .i ,
Premiums to Subscribers.
Some editors have rrown bo rich
and liberal that they now hire sub
scribers to take their paper. An
Eastern editor takes tho load in
liberal inducements, as follows: ' '
. bubsenbers for one copy of the
Cancer will be presented with one
box of petroleum paste .blacking.
This is a very superior article; . it
will black boots, or stoveB, and
may be used as a hair dye; (for tes-;
tiraonials from leading clergymen,'
statesmen and boot blacks, see ad,
vertisiug columns of the Cancer.)
Subscribers for two conies will
receive a box of sardines.
Subscribers for five conies will
presented with a pair of iron
clad spectacles, with glass eyes
warranted to suit one age as. well'.
a3 another.
Subscribers for ten conies will bo
entitled to a patent adjustable'
boot-jack, which can also ba used
as a cork-screw, coffee mill or ink
stand. . ..
Subscribers for twentv-five. con-.
ies willjreceive a marble bureau'
with a mahogany top to it. " '
Subscribers for fifty copies will
receive a seven octave sewing-ma
chine with the Agrafie attachment.
Subscribers for seventy-five cop
ies will receive a basswood parlor.
suite oi lurniture.
Subscribers for one hundred
copies will receive a burial, plot.
with an order lor a tombstone de
livered when required. .,;,,-,
Subscribers for five hundred cop
ies will receive a nomination for-
Congress .. " . '
Subscribers for a thousand con-
ies will be presented with a farm
in New Jersey, fenced in and mort
gaged. , 1 ;; ' , . .
- . urn i r;
Keep vour boy a bov while he is -
x -
boy; a well-behaved, polite' boy;,
no milk-sop boy tied to his inoth-
er's skirts, but still a boy; not a,
weakling fop, a precocious snob, ; a -conceited
monkey, aping the airs ,
and acquiring the habits of grown i
up dandies, and fast characters.
Don't make a self-indulgent small i
gentleman of him. Teach himjto,
wait upon and take care . of him-.
self, and to respect his inferiors
and treat them courteously and;
kindly. Prav. save him from. tha
absurdity of a cane and kid gloves,',
and garments that are not suitable
for down-right heaitv, plav. v It:
may be pretty and aristocratic,. and
sign of your opulence, to dress
him up in - the height f fashion;;
bnt in doing so. von ran thertak-nf
spoiling ' him , for anv robnst and
useful living..;., . , 3l,
"Mt friend." s&ki one sren'tleman
to another, u your hair is getting
quite gray." M Yes," Was 4he 1 an
8wer; M old father 'Time has been
sweeping np the years aTOnndi e
and the dust has settled;' tpcri my;
head," ' '':'" '-i-u Irofivj i-b

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