Newspaper Page Text
WSltf finbn gifiri
Oldest Paper in the County.
iniTKD ASD rURMMiKD BY -
UlPEllt & ltOUIXSON.
OFFICE On Lognn St., three doors
north of Main.
TEHMS-3 OO per year, Inva
riably ill iulviuico.
HANDS A I.E. is bill., hit,, quarters, and bottled
Basa lor prlc.-li.l. J. L. llwila, agoat, 31 W. Third At
hoots & shoes.
JOHN (JATKS dc CO., Wholeialo Ueal.rs It
DvuU A tihos. Ciuuin work warraaul. 64 1WI til
lilt I DUE 110 LIS & lilt I DOES.
CliAM. tiitAIIAMf Manafartnrsr ol Uridgo Dolts
Iroa ttrHf.., Ou Uvldgrs, and Wruughi liua Work.
76 WmI t'nnt rjlrs.l.
) HHVSUES & IriViA' (JOOUS.
' Witt. BRO.WWKffT. & CO. i m.U til klndi
f lirasbsa, anil .Tory thing mails o( Win), buad 101
101 nataui Dtrvttt.
BUO.MWKLIj HAM I.0O.H nnn 11 M
srp.1, tt.arnloM Barka. lllankcts, lAutey, J.ana, sto.
ibdCorsaulosus. W'm. Uroiuwolli Co., lsl Walnut bl
C Alt JU AGES.
J. K, HK.AATS dc CO., Carrlaa;a Manufactors,
014 work bouttlit, told, fend sachaiirtid. l'rouipl altaa
ftloa giroa to ..pairing. 6611 Cvntral Ar anus.
fiNOWDON OTTR. Carpeting! and Curtain
Ooodt. Mauufacttmn of Window Shades, 171 and III
Mala St, wtat slds.
JN0. A. SMITH. Carpets, Oil Cloths. Wlndw
Bhasss, ate., Isea than Mew lurk prises. 22 W. lillLSl
CLOWES HAS U EH t WltlXQEIt.
TI1B II YDllAUliIll Clothes Weibar Wrings!
ftl emphatically the heft. Head for description, prises, eta.
Address, steam l-aoeury annul, w., juim rropi ata.
COCHHAN & NHWI'OIIT, t'ommlulon Mor
sheet, la Hour, Grata, l'roruwiu, oels, eto. 1U1 W.
trUllrVl'l IIIHFr., CK ..IF. n.y. ur.in, wn
tral Produce Dealer. aDdConimiaftoa Morcuaal!, BaokJ
luralaued. eUir at, ana it) laves.
M'CAFFUEV cV IHWOVKKN, Commlloo
Merouanti in Hour, (iraln, llulter, Checie, Eggs l'0
loee, Applee, Dried Fruits, eto,, purobue on orders, at
lowoil marsee prioe, eery u..i;cjiuuu v. euetbuauiu..!
IT Walnut Street.
Oppoilte 0. II. A !., A A. A U. W. it. II. Depoti, W A
VIH I.IM A WltlftllT.Comratulon Merchants,
sos w. liitn ot.
TUIH, nil'llUOOK iV CO. i Htoamboal and
Forwarding Agouti. CommUilon Llualora In Flour,
Oraia, Whuky, and Uoneral iTouuco. 13 nator at
WASHON, niOliriAN l V(H:, General
ComniUiion Merohanti apd Ucalori In 1'roviiiona. l'ar.
iloolar attention to lelliag (iraia A l'roduce uf all klndi.
IU Viae bu.el.
COI.LAHI), C'liAYTON 4; CO., Commlnlon
Mrd, Dried tltul, Beeaa, and uenerai i'rouu:e. a nai'
nerenanU tor laie Ol u utter, uieoio, CKKit ceauivre,
.Ktll V 1M. Tlllttt AM .V- CO.. Flour and Orals
OotnnUiloA MeroUauti aud Uoalora in Produce genor
ally, make advance! on eoniigaumnU and furaUU aaoki
or urain. no. a xs ater oi,
B. W. KKI.1I & CO., Coufeotlonory. Foreign
tnd Canted Fruiti, Nute, tire Work', Tuye, eto. All
leading brandi of t ine-cut Vltewing, l'lug, and Siuoklug
Xobaooo, 26 alaln Street.
Bit. COIiTON, the ItoviTer of Nitroua Oildc.
rU eitraotcd without rain. Ilea glron It to 40,0u0
aereoal, llil Elm Bt,
VIItE MUCK XlLJi CLAY.
TAYI.OIli THOMAS CO., Manufacturer,
at belotoville, 0. OUioe, Vil Water bt., Cincinnati.
i'.A Ill'ENTKIt, UKOWN fc Kl.MOTT.
(Vliolaiale Ureoeia and Couuulailoii Alorcuauti, 7 weal
' COAN, Til K IIATTKIt, 64 Weak Fourth St.
ftaarly oppoelte I'lke'l Upera llouie.
Vihnloulo llealert U Uat.
Cape, straw Oooda, and Furl, 14 W. rotrl Bt.
tTAUlll KltS wanting tmKllKtiT HAND LOOM 11
too fi.r weaving all kinda of cloth, enould procure mkci
DKMIALIVB, with lata IraproveraonU. It it tlmple
a child can opnrate it. For circular, and aamplit ol
rravlng, addreee, with Itamn, OHEKNWOOU l.OOH
CUMrArf y, ciiiuiuuait, o. Omce cuwured to 10 Uour
Utreet, between 11 ace and Kim.
HYATT'S LIFE HALS AM
flu cured ove 100,000 etui of Hlieumetiam. Hcrofula
Old Uloeri, llyipepiia, and all Oiecuet arlaing Iron
lmpnrlty of the Blood, fl a bottle i ei for $6. Certlt
etoe of III Wonderful Curoi eaa ba had of K, F. 11 aw.
lit, Urn Bt., Cincinnati, O, i
JOI VIN'H Kill ;i,ovi:s, 1.2.' per pat:
awrthli at llcll A Millon, 141 W. Fourth bt.
VSIOX COAL OIL Jt LAMP CO.
W. II. Al.DIlKII, A cent. I.ampi, Lantern,
OlUi Ware, Window (iliwi. Fruit Jara, Carbon, llenliav
Uu ei and Urd Oili. No. 6 W. Bccoird Bt.
(JIKSSLKlt &, HCHI I.T, tniuotMliUa
Bhop, B. K. cor. Uocond A Kim btl,
J. A. KAY tt CO., alanufacturori oferery variet
af l'atont Wood Working Klacliinory, 1'laalag alachinea
Baah, Molding, and Tenoning Machinol, uui. Warraute.
auperior to any in oae. Alanufictory and Office, oerea.'
fobn A Front Bit. bond for circular,.
I.KK V IiKAVITT, Mnnuracturore of Circuit
Aaw-Milll, Tortable k Htatiouary btuam Knglnot, HeUar.
and Mill Machinery of all kind,. 1 DO W. Second .
MILL I VHNlSlll
TIIOS. IlltADKOltO As CO., French Iron
Mill-Mono Mauulactorr. Mill Uonrlng, Uoltlhg Cletlia
Portable ftlilli, bmut ililli, Leather aud Gumjteetlnj.
19 Walnut Street.
T. WII1TK HON, Importer! of the oclokrated
footch Urauito, lulian Marblo MnnumDntt. lJealen la
til Native Uranitci. 266 and 1167 W. Fifth St.
CIKIHKIl Si IUl'NI). Sheet Muilc, Muilcal
inetrunente. Bele Agouti for Traaer, Bobinton A Co.'l
fiance. Si2 W. Fifth St.
W3I. It. COX Si CO.,
rVnOlF.PALK A RETAIL DEALERS IN PAIKT9,
511.8, WINDOW ULABB A rALNXKllS' MATlbiUAL,,
IJJ Itaoe Street, .
PALldEIt'B LOTION & l'Elti'VMKUY.
PALMKU'S VEUEIAULl'A'USMKTlfl LOTION
a) the toverelgn halm for the enaUcet pimple on th faca,
well aa the inoat diitrening cutaneoue dueue that eaa
iQUot any part of the perton.
DiriTir.M, Ixn Oct. 2S, 1K4.
Hi. B0U) Pi txm : Dtv Sir Your Lotion has cured
ba of Tetter of thirty yean' Handing. No amount of
oeney would tempt me to be without it for mysrlf of
kmlly, aa I Ond it equally good for every thing where af
attentat application la required, aa well aa ouu, aruliet,
end all aimilar accideutit alio burn,: preventicg the
brmetfoa of a bllater, aud takiog out the toreneet almoat
anmately. I have not written the above aa a pelf for
aeorjuilieine, but purely from a deeire that thote aOlicted
a ItlfgietMr, or any other dlseaae of tlia tkin, ma aval)
tMoumves of thia prlcelew ronu'dy,
Hot peetfully, etH J0I1N KISlXCll.
fotaalebjallDraggiiU. lTcrued only af
t V BOLON PALMER,
r-'No. 30 W. Fwarlh Hi., Cincinnati, 0.
Alto manufacturer of Perfumery and Jobber tk Comb,
Irtuhet, and Toilet Ooodt generally.
8. HOI.ME4 6c S0 Manufactonas and la.
tortert of Taper Hanging,, 171 Main St.
CAMAKGO MANCFACTLHIffM CO.
faper llangingt and Window Sbadea. 67 MCrth Bt,
BOTAltY PUMP EXQLSE CO. .
Uanufacturert of the Hardy A Morria Patent Ciitero
4 Power Pumpll Oil, Urd, and Deer Pumpa; Steam
rtrt Puaape t Steam Engine,, eto. Office 67 W. Fifta
It. Work, cor. Third A Phila. Sta., Covington, Kf.
addreu J. E. Baker, agent.
COl'K ic CO. Htean Pumpt tnd Boiler Feeders,
team Pips and Fitting,, Water and Bteara Onagea
ieneral Urate Work. Bend for Illustrated Circular and
rriet-liaa. 118 K. Second Bt. '
EGQERT, DILI.S efc CO., Buccewort to Wnv
(ggert. UomeaUe and Bpaniah Leaf Tobacco, User
iahasm and Briar Pipee. b'i W. Seoond Bt.
MITCHELL CO. Oio Coricait -coi
Cnawian Toaioco Wouu: alo other brands of Chaw.
sag and Smoking Tobacco. 13 Water Street.
VISES AXli LAYED PLAN1NQ BITS.
LOMAS e HAG Ell, manufacturers of Viset
tayed Planing Bite; Paper. Shingle, and Agricultural
Knives i Bridge Bolts. Anvils and Vises repaired. Bolii
Viae Boies on hand. Ill W. Beeond Bt.
II. BROWN de CO. Hosiery, Vares, Zephyr
Conete, Ekirts, Umbrella,, Parasols, Dreat Trimmings
Bilk Nets. -Kbits flood,. Laces, Embroideries, Oaau
niMilliq uvm, VOL lean m.mmm vw.
ADA il liril. ev HON. IloslsrsvuioTes, ns
loas, Dreet Trimmings, ivn Skirts, and Whits Oooda
Wt Pearl Street.
' TUB OLD RELIABLB O. K.IIKME01
kas not failed, after twenty years' trial, la a iligla saa
If Ooaorrhea. Out a treatiee oa Venerial DmasM el
TVudfgM gratis. Wholesale Depot, K. Maerely 4
Srw":sor. Colnmbla A Walunt CilawaU,).
Advertise In the Ilccortl.
M'AltTHUl., VINTON COUNTY, OHIO.
OCTIOBEI. 17, 1867.
gwufetf' ' -Cavils..
lloiucr . Jones,
TTOHNEY At LAW, McAUTHUK,
il OHIO, will nttend promptly to all bus
IncsH B ilrtiHtnd to his cro.
Ollico over T. B. Duvib'Etois, Main
street, Mo Arthur, OLio. jau24
C. JU. PPITY &U07,
GENERAL Commission MoroliantB, 20
Morwiu St., Clovoluntl, Ohio.
Jii:fi:rkscf.s: Everett, WeiluVli &,
fo.,JI:inkfr?; Porter, l'lattit DeWolf
flour Deitlera. mylhj
A TTOKNEV AT LAW 5 CLAIM A(J
iV NT, will practice in Vintou ord aj
joinir.g eoiintios. Also, l)opry Collector
of IutornM Uuvonuo. Ollico in'llio Vinton
Co. Uhllk. ' jallSl
JOBKl'H llHAIHlLKV , ,TTM M AUK.
IiltAII5UKY & IAlt;C,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
JIcArtiiur, Vintou Co Ohio.
Will uttond promptlj to all busiuoss
wtroslod to theif car.
K. A. BRiVTTON. '; SOUS MAYO.
BRATTON & MAYO,
Attorneys at Jmw, .
. ' McAIliiIUR, OUIO,
WILL give prompt attention to all lepnl
biisinoss ontrustod to tholr caro in
Vinton and niljoiniug countico. may 2
mm y. ksag,
BOOTS AND SHOES.
Hatlo of Ecst TiC.iUirr,
At Lowest Prices!
au,';22y Jluin slroot. MuArthur, O. '
Mitnufacturcr and 'leiilcr In
Saddles, Bridles, Harness,
Korth Hide- Main street,
WAGONS, EUGOIES.CAKUI ES, ETC.
Opposite Court IIoiiho, WcAi thnr, 0.
J" Kopairlne, ruintlnrr, nnd Trim
miii),' done neatly and promptly, and all
work warrauUd to givo sntisl'aotion.
ILL bo colloetod promptly I17 ED-
.ir.ni. A mit'hri'iv at..
1 v ww.L i . uun. 1 xvj.v, dieArviuir.
All BoUliers, who aro by law, eutltlod
i Back l'ay, Butinty and roifinnx, and
itLivtg, littliors, niotliors, lnotlierH, und
...... .1 . 1. . ......l ...,l.l:...ui .,l..i,..u ill
WlU'Vtl,, IJlUlilin, IIIUI.IIvin, t'lunuin, uiivi
sisters of deceased Huldiors' cluinis will
.1-. i. i..o. e
;o promptly at, rnueu wi. jiijjvi
11 L A C K H M ITU ,
GOLD'S OLD STAND,
KE.1R THE STEAM MILL,
..... . I., ,
IS prfparttu to do nil manner 01 innoi
sii itnini?, siiuli 8 liorso nlioein(, Ironing
of biiL'ir iuH. wuL'ims, eto., nnd tlio n 111 11 11
faotiiro and repair of i ll kinds of Apri-
cultural implements ana tugo toois. aii
woik dono ;u 0 subsuiutiitl manner mid
warruntod. sopt i oj-iy. 1
JAMES BOUI.flEll. ( JOnN BOULOER.
JAMES BOULCEIi & CO., dcalors In
Foreiftu and Domestic Llq iors, Oro
eorits, Alo ami 1'orter, Water St., near
l'aint, Chilliootlio, Ohio. aug22y
WM. CLAHC. al.
Clarke &. I2o;?s,
WIIOL E SA L li O li OCJJJl S
10 and 11 Wator st.,
nu(r22y ' CIIILLU'OTIIE, 0.
J. S. MACKLV.
2nyiooI & ITIackey,
WMOLfJ S ALE a BO C E 11 ,V .
No. 22 X'uint street,
ATTORXEY AT LAW,
PUACTICES IN BOSS AND AUJOIN
1N(1 Cull 11 ties. All business entrust
ed to liis unru promptly attomlod to Hn l
rcinlttaiiccs in ull cusos mode without do
lay. Sopt. 8, 1307.-1
. 0., keep constantly oil hand a
lariro and oomploto assortment of Build
ers' llirdwuro, SuJJluis and Couch Ilnrd
waro, Wapon-makor'a Mntorinl, llub.,
8p)hos, Felloes and Bolts, Iron and Steel,
of ovory sizo, Glass, SdbIi, Ac, &o '
Wo can mako it profltalua fur any par
tics who wish to purchaso Goods iu our
lino, to 1,'ivo uu a onM.
Me LEWIS & CO.,
outr25y Chillicotha, ().
T AM CAKUY1NO ON THE ABOVE
I rum'nrMin nl. thft nhl fttund of (. SoHfnan.
on Watr Street, botwoon l'nint and Wal
nut. Chillicolho. Ohio. Always on hand.
at wholesale or roluil,
CAKE of all KINDS,
Also a good stock of Family Grocorios,
Everything warranted to bo as rop'rosentcd
aur. 29, IS07.-raB.
C.T..DUS-KU. J. H, afCCOMklOK.
C. F. DUFEU & CO.,
(SOCOEBC.ORS TO E. P. PRATT,)
"Watch Makers & Jewelers,
NO. 23 PAINT STREET,
. tS?Spociul attention (fiveh to the re
nairiuj; of Watches, Clocks and Jewelry.
Wedding Blngsand Jewelry of evory de
scription manufactured to order. All
work warranted to give satisfaction.
. iscpt. ia,1807.-ly - i
J. SHI, itt.
WAJTSENBEB GEE & EIEF
"' . rnorwETOM,.: ...
l Ula street, bet. Paint and Walnut,
l5yGood furo and reasonable torras.
Eiprces to and from all trains. aug22m6
Front Street, below Court,
(Sipn of tho Anvil.)
Fancy Halter and Confectioner,
Ccrncr Fourth ond Court Streets,
FSTWcil linff and other partioa fur
nished with everything in Ins lino with
promptness, and at
Is O W 12 S T
It. ISUIili & CO., .
. . Wholeutlo Doalora iu
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS, CAPS,
LEATHER AXD FINDINGS,
No. 5 Entctjifiia Hock;
WE nro uow In rcco'nt of onr Fall nnd
Winter Slock or Goods whieh is
very full and coinplcto, and fool conlldout
wo car! supply tlio Trado with na pood
goods aud ut as low prices as can bo had
of any Jobbing IIouso in the West. Spocial
attention paid to any order.) that may be
ontrustod to our euro. sept. l'J-m3
AVholosalo Dealer In
fomcN and Domestic
NO. C FliONT STUEET,
ecit. in, I?07.-ly
v. ur.iNiiAivr. J. i. ltrixiiAUT
1HJIMIAHT & BKO.,
And J)eidora In
Foreign and Canned Fruits
NUTS, F'.KEWOKKS, TOY3, &C. '
XadTl tU, t, - - - - J'urtamunlh, 0'.
sept. 19, lS'j".-inO.
T. J. PVESSflsLEi & CO.,
Importers nnd Dealers In
QU EE NSW ABE,
CHINA AND GLASSWA'UT:.-
CA1JBON OIL, LAMPS ANP
No. E.Uerjirisc lilock, Front St
tSTAsanrtcd rackugea for Fumaco nnd
Country Trade. sopt. !.- ly.
D. DUNCAN, - - Proprietor.
MMIIS HOUSE HAVING BEEN NEWLY
X repaired and arranged is uow In sue
ccsstHl operation . Its loeatinn is conven
ient to bnninoss and to tho Bui lrmtd De
pot, which mitkcn it a desirable Btopp'ng
plut'O foi all visiting Zulcski.
Sept. 5, lS37.-yl.
JOSEPH.!. McDOWELL,. Trrs't.
JAM ICS V. liEI.AY, Cash,
IT. S. P.I XDV, E. U. IOl)dK, A. Woi.v,
II. F.Ai-stix, D. V. JtAXXi.r.a.
F. Stuoxo. A. A. Ai i4tix.
(1 of Discount ami Deposit.
,t L-iiynnd sell Uoveriiuiout S
olliM'tions iniiilo at the usual rates.
li receiving her Full Stock of
Consisting of the latest styles of
Bonnets, Rill on 8, Flowers,
Fancy Woods Generally.
(lall and cxamino her stock. Sho will
J boII asohoapastliochunpe8t,aiid has
a aplendid stock from which to mako se
lections. . 13T01,1 bonnets bleached, pressed, and
altered to tho latest styles.
Mrs. S. 1. KINO,
Main Street, Me Arthur, Chio.
sopt. 12, lS07.-m2
ST. BUR K LEY,
Water Street, Above Paint,
- C11ILLIC0THE, OHIO,
Kocps on hand all kinds of Musical In
strnmonts, such as
Pianos, Cabinet Organs.
Guitars, Violins, Accordcons.
Also Sheet Mnslo and the best Italian
Strings for Violins and Guitar. Evei
tl,infftnh found in Muhio Stores can
had at thia ftore. Sheet Mneic from any
Fnblishing House In the United States
furnished at the publisher's lowest rules.
TnoMinr. fnrnixhod at nublishor's wholo-
Wo hivo novcr, we believe, soon versos
raoro true and tonuhiog than thoso which
wore found under '.lis pillow of a soldier
who was found dead in a hospital tioar
Fort Boyol, South Carolina. Littell'a
I lay me down to slocp
Willi littlo thought or caro
Whcthor my waking Hods
Mo lioro or thero.
A bowing bardonod Iioad,
1 hat only aski to rest,
A loving broast. a
My good right hand forgot
Its cunning now; f '
To maich the wo'ary nurch.
I know not how.,
I am not eager, bolJ,
Nor strong all that is pist;
I am icady not to do, '
At last, a', last.
My half Jay's work U dono,
And this is all my part;
I givo apatloiit On
.My prtiont hour
And grasp his banner still,
Though ull its blue lo dim,
Thcso Blripes 110 less than stars,
Lend uftor Him.
Afflicted by a Fat Woman.
BY JOHN QUILL.
I am at tho' soa slioro, trying
to get a littlo recreation and to
hnprovo my health; instead of
T4hat, I am as likoly to lose what
littlo creation I have, and ruin
my constitution. Adiposo fo
male is my complaint, and Tvo
got it so bad that sometimes I
seriously think of throwing my
self in tho undertow and lloat
ing out to becomo fuod for
This is the way it occurs:
Ton sco thero ia a maiden hero
frhoso father is acquainted with
my father, and whose robust
pocket-book correspond?, com
paratively, with tho sizo of his
She, forsooth, is a maidon
who assumes to havo seen but
twenty summers, but she has
put in the time so well that
sho ha3 collected moro beef
and tissue, and so on, on her
skeleton than woud servo six
ordinary womip ..
Well, you see this heavy
father has his equally hoavy
daughter on hands, and ho
conies down here and lays for
his chance to throw her over
into matrimony with some un
suspecting man. In an evil
hour I was induced to borrow
money of him, and now he
threatens mo with tho sheriff
or clso his daughter, whichev
er I choose. Of courso I pre
fer tho sheriff, but I., worry
along with tho fat wonian until
I see a chance to bolt.
You havo no idea haw try-
ing it is. iter namo is lunri st
and sho is always wanting' to
go into-bathe. So wo go down
to the beach; I walk in her
shadow to get out of tho heat.
Wheir&ho comes to tho bath
housemen chances to ono that
sho nearly rips tho clothes off
of her in trying to get through
tho door, and then just as hko
as not, I ve got to walk back
and get a carpenter to come
down and take out four or livo
planks so as to get her in, and
then when sho is in, it is nec
essary for mo to stand thero
and hold tho looso plunks in
placo while 6ho takes off her
lheu she comes out anu tried
to trip lightly over tho sands.
Did you ever seo the elephant
danco at tho circus ? Well,
that's her; sho looks moro liko
a molasses cask on two. legs
than anything else, and she's
about as gracoful as an ox.
And sho wanted mo to teach
her to swim. Wouldn't I hold
her bv tho waist while sho saw
if sho" could Jloat? Waist! Talk
about putting a girdlo around
tho earth, tho equator or the
ring3 ot Saturn I Why, I tell
you, you might as well try to
embraco tho domo of tho capi
tol at Washington. No, I would
grab for a hold anywhere else,
but sho must not expect mo to
take her by tho waist; I would
rather go and givo myself up
to tho sheriff at onco than do
I got hold of her, and she
laid over on her back to such
an extent that it caused a flood
tifliv nnd then her head went
under; and she came up blow
ing like an organ bellows.
'Time "said-1, "boys como
. But she couldn't appreciate
innnp.nnt amusement, und 6aid
;f T trif.il to drown her she'd
tell her na.
' ' Blast her pa, a watery grave
? iust what she is suffering for.
t Why didn't I hold -her up!
sho said. I wasn't a Sampson,
I raplied. I had never taken a
prize at the gymnasium for lift
in gTvfch'GhuiKl rod pounds.
What did she take mo for? So
sho laid over again, and just
then a breaker came, bo that
sho lost her balance, aud ono of
her lcg3 went up so that she
kicked mo on tho nose. I don't
soo how sho did it. It 6ecms
Hut sho didn't caro anything
about my agony. Indeed, I
thiiik sho was proud of Jiavfhg
drawn tlio first blood, but she
didn't say anything, exceft that
ho wanted to try flixitiiiag
.again. Hut 1 believed I would
not go in for another chalice; 'JU
a"'T 1 I 1 1 -
was airaiu siios-niigiit ron ov
on mo and flatten mo out.
Then sho said sho didn't be
lieve I loved her, and C told
her that as a guesser I 'rcve'r
saw her equal. ' Would I swim
out to savo her if sho w;is
drowning? she asked. I thought
not, as I hadn't my life insured,
and no horso power about me.
When sho camo out you
ought to havo seen her. She
left tho bar high and dry all
along tho coast, and in her
clothes thero was enough wat
er to float an iron clad.
Tlion you ought to soe her at
a hop. Sho has an idea that
sho can danco, nnd when sho
expressed herself to this effect,
I went down 6tairs to 'seo tho
man who owns tho place, and
advised him, a3 a friend, to
shore up tho floor with any
.pare timber ho might have
around, for I knew if sho got
to hopping thero would bo an
earthquake somowhoro in that
Slio wears a gaiter that takes
a wholo side of leather, and if
sho onco puts her foot on yours
you aro a helpless cripplo for
life. So I was unwell that
night and couldn't danco.
But sho danced. She got her
hand on another of pa's vic
tims and tried to waltz with
You ought to havo scon that
man. You rccolloct when you
were a boy socing other boys
try to climb very largo and
smooth chesnut trees with no
branches within a quarter of a
mile of you. You knew thoy
could never get their grip on
it. Just so with this fellow; ho
would clutch and grab for a
hold on tho place where Maria's
waist ought to havo been, but
ho would slip off every time,
and you never saw a moro mis
erable man ia your life. I be
lieve that ho committed suicide
threo days afterward.
Sho wanted me to drive her
out in a carriage yesterday, but
thero was iot a man on tho is.
land who was willing to take
iicr. And they were right: no
man wants his vehicle broken
to pieces. So wo went round
to tho light-house, and Eho in
sisted upon going up to tho top,
but tho keeper, ho said tho
thing was not very stoady,any-
how, and didn't want it mado
top-heavy, and havo any acci
dents happening whilo tho
Government debt is so large.
If you can do anything for
this man I will foel obliged. I
consider him a valuable official.
Would I tako her out iu a
yacht and let her catch some
tish? sho said. 1 toJtl her no,
thero was no use, because there
wasn't any canal boats down
here, and I didn't want her
lather to havo to pay for rais
ing any sunken yachts. But
she had set her mind on it, so I
bribed a man to tako her out
in a schooner.
It seemed to mo that we must
havo fished for a week without
any good result, except that a
million or so of green-headed
flies eathered around Maria,
and 6cemcd to enjoy thom-4
selves cutting out chunks of
I like thcso insects; they are
intelligent animals; you just
leave your green-headed fly
alone to hunt out foraging
ground. They go right to the
spot by instinct.
When 1 got Maria homo 6ho
was covered with blisters, and
swelled to twice her natural
size. Tho hotel man thought
I was bringing homo a mass
meeting of a woman's rights
But what am I to do? Here
1 am with this woman on my
hands and no mean3 of relief.
Can't you suo out a writ of ha
beas coipus and get tho gov
ernment to send out a. fleet to
bring the corpus home? Some
thing has got to be dono or I
Kvn. nnrsuoth sinners : but
to tho rightcpuB good shall bo
repaid. ' "
A correspondent of tho Cyn
thiana Columbian tells tho fol
At Lafayette a well-dressed
man, accompanied by an interesting-looking
his wife, and two sweot little
children, entered tho cars, lie
was short of stature, with a
short, turncd-up noso, a short,
thick lip. small eyes, and im
perceptible eyebrows. The
yftdv had a nleasinir expression
in her palo countenance, that
boro tho impress of suffering
patience. Her younger child
appeared sick, and tossed fret
fully on her wearied knees.
Tho other soon grew tired of
the irksomenossof the car, and
became fretful and impatient
Tho man, for 1 cannot call him
gentleman, lay lazily reading
a paper, lounging on a whole,
seat ho monopolized to him
self, though other passongors
At length tho lady, perfectly
unablo to attend tho two child
ren, in a tone of gentleness
that had something of fear in it,
besought him to attend to the
wants of tho older. Sho was
answered in a loud and abrupt
tono that -attracted every
"Don't bother mo!"
II er eyes droppod; a look of
mingled sorrow and 6hame
camo ovoriher face, and sho
said not a word.
A few moments afterwards
tho conductor, Mr. Paul, camo
along, and the man inquired
of him tho distance to Michi
gan City. With a tono model
ed to tiio lifo after that previ
ously usod by his interrogator,
Mr. Faul hissed out
"Don't bother me!"
Tho man's eyes glared fury
as ho demanded the roason of
6iich an insult, and threatened
to resent it unless a proper ap
ology was immediately offered.
"I shall oiler no apology for
my language," said tho noble
hearted conductor, "neither
will you resent it: for a man
who deems himself injured by
having applied to him tho
samo language he has disgraced
himself by applying to alody,
is too httlo of a gentleman to
bo apologized to, and too much
of a coward to even dare re
Credulity and Incredulity.
I low nearly alike credulity
and incredulity aro is well il
lustrated in the following an
"When a sailor told hismoth
cr about flying fish, the old la-
dv shook her head and said:
'John, John, what a liar you
aro." But when ho told her
about fishing in tho Bed sea,
and at tho first throw of the
net hauling up a chariot wheel
made all of gold and inlaid
with diamonds, which ho sup
posed belonged to Tharoah's
chariot, who was drowned while
pursuing tho Israelites: 'Lord
bless us now,' said sho, 'now,
that is possible Tell mo such
stories as ttat and I will be
lieve you, but never talk to mo
of 6uch things as flying fish.'"
New Illustrated Edition of
This seemingly dry and cer
tainly ponderous book ha3 its
peculiar charms. Hero is col
lected and tersoly set down a
vast quantity of various and
useful knowledge, 6uch as is
indispensible to educated men
and women. Here aro a hund
red and fourteen thousand
words,deflned with a clearness,
fullnessrecisionnd wealth of
illustration, that aenote the
soundest scholarship, and the
most cntiro fidelity to labo-
1 s I it
nous details. Aitogeiner mo
work is a marvelous specimen
of learning, taste, and thorough
labor. We praise it heartily,
because wo believe it deserves
Girls, let us tell you tho
sluborn truth! No young wo
man ever looks so well to a
sensible young man, as when
dressed in plain, neat, modest
attire, without a 6ingie orna
ment about her person. Sho
looks then as though she pos
aessed worth in herself and
needed no artificial rigging to
enhance her value. If a young
women would spend as much
time in improving her mind,
hat JsJfcer. training and cher
ishfts kindness, mercy, and
good qualities, as most ef them
do in extra dress charms.' she
would, at a glance, be known
among a thousand her charac
ter would be read m the coun
tenance; j :.. -.- . v -.
Ono qimn, $100
Each additional Insertion, ... . AO
Curds, poryear, IO 00
Local notices, per line 10
Yearly advertisements $100 per
column, and at pornortionata rotes for
les space, l'ayabie In advance.
t3 The Record being tho olBctal
paper of the town and county, and
havliiK the largest circulation of any
paper in the county, offers superior
inducements to advertisers.
A Boy's First Composition.
The Terro llaute', Indiana,
Album gives tho essay on "The
Ox" from one of its young con
tributorsust as it camo from
his pen. It is so natural and
spontaneous, that wo doubt if
Shillabar or Josh Billings
could equal it in- genuine
"Oxen is a very slow animil,
they are good to break ground
up, I would drathcr havo horsea
if they didn't have tho kolick,
which they say is wind collec
ted in a bunch, which makes
it dangerser for to keep horses
than an ox. If there was no
horses people wood have to
wheal thare wood on a wheal
barrow. it wood tako them to
or three days to wheal a cord
a milo. Cows is useful to. I
havo hersoam say that if they
had to bo tother or an ox they
wood be a cow. But I think
when it cum to have their tits
pulled of a cold mornin they
wood wish thay wasn't, for ox
en don't generally havo td
raise caves, if i coodent be a
hefiur and hod to bo both i
wood bo an ox."
The following conversation
occurrod between a graceless
boy and his toacher:
"What docs your father dd
when he sits down at tho ta
ble?" "He asks for tho brandy bot
tle." "I don't mean that. Wcllj
then, what does your mother dd
when you 6it down at tho ta
ble?" "She 6ays she will wring our
necks if wo spill any grease on
The editor of the Dos Moines)
Register has had presented to
hiai a grasshopper which ho
says "weighs three to tho
pound." Ono cabbage head
makes just a nice supper for
four f this sort. Ho is two
and a half inches long, and still
an infant, his wings just be
ginning to come out of his
A man in Maine has invon-'
ted a machine tor digging po
tatoes. It consists of a scoop
made of boiler iron, which ia
driven under the potatoes and
lifts them with the earth upon
a hopper on which tho earth is
shaken off, and the potatoes
thrown into tho furrow bohind
A diddled soldier has madd
enough money to buy a wood
en leg, by cutting up his old
crutches into half-inch bits and
selling them as portions of tho
staff from which Ellsworth
hauled down tho rebel flag.
Womest in Nebraska aro by
law allowed to vote at tho dis
trict school meetings. Omaha
papers regard this as a prelim
inary step to tho adoption of
The sweetest word in our
language is love. Tho great
est word, God. The word ex
pressing tho shortest tirae,now.
The threo mako the greatest
and the sweetest duty man can
TnE Philadelphia Ledger
tells of a school teacher who
makes the reading of tho
newspaper regular exercise ot
the school, and says tho
scholar likes its greatly.
PitEStDENT Johnson has not
a single newspaper supporter
loft in New York outside , of
the Democratic party, and
scarcely one in it.
A dancer once said to Soo
rates, "You can not stand on
one leg so long as I can."
"True, replied the philosopher;
but a goose can." '
Mankind have been learn;
ing for six thousand years, and
few have learned yet that their
fellow-beings are as good . as
SrEAKiKO of " George III;;
Erskine remarked that what wo
call firmness in a king we call
obstinacy in a donkey.
One charge in a lawyer's bill
agaiDst a client was, for Mwa'
ing up in the night and th;
ing Of your business, $5."
The man who pays m
his shop rent than his r
ing, don't know his bu
Greeley. 1 '
. Jones' landlady is ,
talker. "Jones says it, 1
in tho contract that he
havo rooms and bored.