THE VINTON RECORD.
JOHN T. RAPElt,
litlitor and Proprietor.
OrFIOE U. W. Corner of Main and
Logan fits., Ooposite. Oonrt House.
$3 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
Devil Smart. Samuel W. Kllvert, Jr.
SMART Si KILYERT,
SUCCESSORS TO PtVlD SMART'
OD COMMISSION MEEGHAHTS.
frompt Attention given to the
Transfer of PIO I ICON and
other Property from and to
Railroad and Canal.
TValer Slreet.betteeen 1'ainl and Walnut
mar 11 lituu It
Lienor and Commission Merchants"
NO. 20 WATER STBKKT,
' Ale in Barrel!, Half Barrel and Botttei.
TOWN LOTSAND LANDS
THR Znlaskl Company, with a view to Die
development of Ihe local Interests of Zales
ki, to secure it permanent i o-pority, m.d to
add to its population and wraith, are now
ottering to actual settlei a, town lot ami farm
'lands Hi low price, ami on liberal terma.
Persons desiring to examine the properly
and to buy cheap houses will apply at the
Company's offices to
R. THOMP-'ON, Manager.
Zaleaki, Ohio, Muv 18, 1871. tf
DENJ. F. ARMSTRONC"
A TTO RNE Y A TLA W.,
H2c YISTIll li, OHIO.
OFFICE --In Davis' Building, opposite
the Vinlmi Oouuty National Hunk, up stuirs,
A Fine German Chrono.
VI tr.SB AM ri.KHAST llltnHO. Mlll'XTKD AND
unlit rua ruAHiNU, rate to nvtui aqe.nt run
LIFE BELOW THE SURFACE,
$42 P'gs Octavo. 130 Fine Engravings
Relate. incidents and accidents beroud llie
light of day; Hurtling adventure In all pari
of the worlil nunc and moile of working
them; undercurrent of society, gambling
end its horr rs cavern anil their mysteries,
the dark ways of wckcIim-ss; prisons ami
their secret; down in the deplh of the sea
.strange atone of tile detention of crime.
The book I real ol the experience wnh brig
and; in npiiim ,len ami g imbiing hella, li l
n prison; slnrie of exih'H; nilvciit irc
monj Indians; journey- through severe and
catacombs, accident in mi nen; pirate and
piracies; torture ofllie i tl i u i f i t on; wonder
I ill bn riil irie.i; iimlerwnrlil of the great citie
rtr liiii. aork. Kxclneive lerniorv given
.Agent ean m 'kt $n n per week in selling this
liook. Send lor circulars and terms to agent.
jr. n. it inn time,
JTAFTFOR ft, CONN., or OHICAfiO I LI,,
A BOOK FORTIIE MILLION 1
JLtirriGlgQ, rri,d or Iho.e .bout W
mm Diarry en the phviMoirtcaJ
j n I myiterlrindretlliouof
mm W1 tbe sexual yeteu, within
1tM dlMoreriet la prodMlng ao4 prt rtiiUog offspring,
feow 10 preserve the completion, Ac.
ThUl laWrttliBf work f tw kandr4 tad ilitf
tttgea.wUi auoertui tnrvtORi, and eoouios valuabl
iBrorauiloafor ihon wbvarc oiirrledtorooDtiDpUtmar
riit. Utill ltd a book that oub tul kept under lok
nd key, and ooilaid eartletalj about tbe bouit.
It toataiai (he eipcrleac and adrlct f a pbrttetat
VfbAierepuiatloall world-wide, and boalr beta tbe pri
vate drawer of every male and fen ale throughout tbe eotlrt
(lobe. 1 1 embrace! ever(hlii on the subject of tbe rco
ratlva RTitea tbat le worib kaowlog, aad Buek tbat U
Bat pubHabcd Id aor olber work.
Sent u any one (free of poiuge) for Tift Cente.
AddreiiHr. Batu' DUpeaiar.N. laK.KifbtAitrtti
01. Lwulet Ha.
Notice to the Afflicted and Unfortunate.
Before applrlnf te the notorioue quack who ad Teniae la
fa bile pier,or mlnf inr qutek remediei peraet Dr
Vuiu' work no nm tier what your dlieaeeU, or bow deplor
able your condition.
Dr. Bum occunke t doable hoaie of lweatyieTea
Twemi;! indorsed by eotne o f the reoit eelebretcd medl
Calrrofeieonof tbUcouniry and Kurope, and can be coo
ollrd prunnlly or by mall, on ihedlieiiei mentioned la
lie worke. Ofltce and parlore, No. IS N. Kigbth atret
twtweea Market and Cbcinut, Ht, Louli, He
THE GREAT ALTERATIVE
AND BLOOD PURIFIER.
It is not a quack nostrum.
Tbe ingredients are pnblished
on each bottle of medicine. It
ia used and recommended by
Physicians wherever it has been
introduced. It will positively
and kindred iiuate. RHEVMA.
l'JSM, WUITKSWELLim, OOUT.
QOITRB, BRONCHITIS,NER V0U3
DEBILITY, WCIPIBNT COIf.
BUMPTIOXxai all disease a riling
from an impure condition of the
Blood. Send for our Bosadau At
mahao, In which too will fludceriin
eatet from reliable and trust-worthy
Physicians, Minister) of tbe Go. pel,
Dr. II. Wilsoa Carr.of Balti
more, aaya be baa nsed It In cues of
Scrofula and other diseases with
Dr. T. C. of Baltimore,
recommends it to all persons BufTerw
lngwlth diseased Blood, ssying It It
superior to uiy preparation he haa
Bev. Dubney Ball, of the Bal
tlmore M. E. Conference Sooth, sayi
he has been so much benefitted if
1U use, that he cheerfully recom
mends It to all his friends and ao.
Craven C-. BrngirlsU, at
OortlonsriUe, Vs., say it nsrer haa
failed to give satisfaction,
, M.B.JJU 1SN
P7dJ freesboro,t Tennessee, says it cured
ra him of Sheamatiam when all else
THIS BOSADAJJS TO 00KSECTI0W WITH QTJtt
wfllenre Chills and Fersr, liver Complaint, Dya.
twnaT eto. We guarantee Bosporus superior to
lbe? Blood Purifiers. Bend for Descriptive
Circular or Almanac.
Address, CLEMENTS k CO.,
t g. Commerce St, einor, Ud.
Jiemember to asi your DruggUt for BosadaxM.
VAekltl FOU AIli.
'1HE Jennings farm,
one mile norm .weal
kof Hamden, adioining
.farm of Hon.T M. Ha.
eont lining 180 acres, 180 acres in grnvaalid
b4lani:e in timber, A new twostorv frame
hou-e, barn, smoke. house and oiher nece.sa.
ry out-houes are among the improvement.
The larm lies well, is well watered, fencing
nd everything eonnecled wilh it in gooil re
I air. For further information inquire of
aep B.8.V1L00X fiamdeo, Ohio,
f m i i i la m.i k
VOL. 21 NO. 2 1.
MO ARTHUR, OHIO. .OCTOBER 1G, 1873.
WHOLE NO. 1,227
O. T. CUNNINC,
M'ARTH l, O.
OSFICB AT 0
STOEB, MAIN STREET.
EDWIN N. BARNIIILL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Will attend promptly to all bimneMntmleJ
to his csre. novll
fj. S. OLAYPOOLE,
ATTORNEY AT L.AW,
Will practice it Vinton ami adjoining roun-.
ties. Ilun, e-neniriii.eil to limcare piompt
ly alien. led 10. Utlke in Court iloie.
HOMER c. joni:m.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Orrici: One door west of Pan Will k Bros,
OPPOSITE R. R. DEPOT.
II A MDEN, OHIO.
R. FOX, PROPRIETOR,
liver Stables Attached.
HEAI.S READY FOR ALL TRAIN'S.
The House has uet been reflirmehed
lliroiiKliout. Kooma clean and comfortable,
the table mpplied with the ll ihe market
Hllords, and no pains spared to aeenmodate
ljuests. mar4 lDiiS ly
Main Street, Opposite Court House
IVsc Arthur, Ohio,
JAMES WORKMAN, Proprietor
I HAVE taken ponseion of the above hotel,
rennvnled and partly refurnHied it, and
wil. be kII I" serve tbe old cu-tomcrs of ihe
house, ami esneeinlly my old friende of Ihe
llockinff Vnllev who may he riailing this
I'Olnl The Inb'le will be liirninhed with Hie
bent the market arlords, and eare taken to
mnke gueln rnmlnrtalile. Good ctnlihr.g at
lai hed lo ihe house; CliarRPb reaaooable.
ir 1 1,1, attend to all businesa entrusted to
V I Ills enre.
P. 0. ADDlfEfS:
Vinton L'ouuly, O.
Haa jurt receired his
FALL AN I WINTER STOCK
Of the latent alylca of
Uoths, Cassim?ses and Vestings,
Which 1 will sell Very Law for t'nuh.
IISTOM work done in the moat faeliiona
I yble and durable manner.
Thankful for lbs libeml palrnnBffeexleniied
o me heretofore, I solicit n eonlinunnve of
heauine. Uemembir ihe plnee
Formerly ot Hamden.l
NNOlTNCR8tohis friendt in V'lnlon and
adjoininaeounllea thai he haa hoiiuht the
lotel lormorly Kept by Chas. Smith
Three doors west cl Mndmon,on
ehua refllted it throughout, and la prepared
) entertain the liavelinjc public at reaannl.e
North-east corner of M ; in and Jackson street
JEO. W. BRUIN' TON, Proprletoi
Jarrtages, jtvuities. Jixpreaes, etc
.tso, waaoNa add ail sinus or waooh woes
one to order on short notice.
Painting and Trimming
l all kinds executed in the neatest and mol
BUPAlklNU ol all kinds in my hoe will be
rouiptly Hnd neull done.
. Work done at'lln esiablishmcnt ia war.
nu U to be substantial, put up solid and exe
u'edin the nioi workn aoliVe manner, not
u oe excelled in any respect b ny other ea
THAT WHIG J IS
IPRNT AN I PROSPER
The Favorite Fine-Cut
HE"Chewers' Choice, is how taking Ihe
I lead ol all other Hrands. bright in color,
pleasant in taste, tough and Issiinr in chew,
this tobacco possesaea every quality to suit
chewers, and fella by the 10 poond bucket
fully lOo cheaper per pound, thau any other
brand of the same grade and perhaps leas
quality. 100 bnckelH of Ihis celebrated brand
have been oll In Chillieoihe alone within
the lact two month, and trade Mill inereaa.
ling. Mr) It" bCHMfftH a RH AM KK
tiiiiincoine, unio, are me nanumcturers
genta and pellet leweet rectory fnoea, .
r. m u n u
l WjHfcJ e )
C3 J CO -"3
a r-e-ji-i o
w p 5 hoS
-.J a m
eH O C3 U
HCQ Oh ft
SPRING AND SUMMER
CLOT EE I IN" G-
At his ne plsce of biiHluess,
COEY'S BLOCK. OPPOSITE UBION
I! AS THE
Spring and Summer Clothing
I7VER hr.ught to this market, embracing
the Intent and most fahionahla styies,
cm in accordance wilh the latent faihione.
When you want a nobby intdou't fall lo call
on Krauk. He also Cilia auii
Makes Oarmests to Ordei.
and has a full line of
HATS AND CATS, &U.
All elothinB marked down to the LOW.
l.HT ( M:i KKH. Give me a call and I will
Uiapr FRANK HEM.MAN.
Union Block. Second St.. Lihillicothe,
NVITK tliealtennnn of honaeKee per of
I this place a ud vicinity to their stock or Wall
ALL NEW STYLES,
Spring Trade of 1873
A large HrHurtmeni jut received. Cull and
examine when you are in t'hillicnthe.
Li'hcii aw( I'uper Hliulnw Shadet. Hus
tle Shades, at cost; a good Assort
ment of Miscellaneous ami
School Vooks. Stationery, Fancy
A GOOD BOOK
Dick's Encyclopedia of Practical Rk-
ckii'TS and I'hoc khmci. Conlnining M-2 prac
tical receipt.-, written in a p:ain and popular
nmrner, and ilhmtrated with explanatory
wood-cuts. Beiag a enmprehenxive book of
reference lor the inerchnnl, nuintifitctiirer, r.
Iian, nmaieur and hoiiekeeert including
medicine, pharmacy and domestic economy
Thencnpe of this work i entirely dinVrent
from any other book 01 Ihe kind. Ileiiiex
being a complete nnil nlimst indispensiUe
b ok of reference for the thousand and one
receipt and articles needed in every house
hold, farm, garden, etc., it includes clear and
easily iindorttoud directions for the applies,
linn of nmnv ofiho arte usually acquired only
by long experience, and o nveied of lc h
nichalniea, or ihe technicalilie. ol terms used
so fully explained as to bring the enlire sub
ject within the comprehension of any person
of ordinary intelligence. I'romiioent among
the immense mass of subjects treated of in
the book are the Mlowing:
The Art ol liyeing, Hard Soft and Toilet
Soaps, Tanning, luxlillation, Imitation l.iq
uors, Winrs, linrdiala and Hitlers, Older,
Brewing, Perufmery, Flavoring Essences, elc,
( osmetics, Hair lyea and Wnihcs, Pomades
and Perfumed nils', Tooth Powders, etc., Hy,
lups, Alcohol and Alcnholmetry. Peltoleum
and Kerosene. Bleaching and Cleaning, Vin
enr, Haucea, Cataups and Pickets, Receipts
tor the Harden, To hemnve Mains, Spot, etc.,
Pyroiechny and Kiidesives, Cements, etc.
Waterproofing. Artificial, Gems, Inks and
Writing Flubis, Aniline Colors, Paints and
Pigments, I aintingand Paper-hanging, Kn'
omineanil Whilewash, Varnishing and Pol.
ish ng, Lubricaiors, Japanning and Laequer
ir g, Hoot and Harness Hla:king, Phoiographv,
Mewls and Allora, Gilding, Silvering, eto..
Electrotyping, Electroplating, etc., Patent
Medicines, Medical Receipts, Weights and
Measures. 6U7 pages, rcyal octavo, clolh.
Price 15.110 mar
KICK a FITZtiERALI1, Publnshera, H. T.
J OB WOKE
NEATLY & PROMPTLY
Notice to the Afflicted and Unfortunate. An Amusing Story.
"The rmn in Ihe gallerj
writes to tbe Albany Times:
A gentleman who now occu
pies a seat iu the upper branch,
but at the time wM a member
of the 'Assembly, jrelates the
Perkins wai'as hpnest a roan
as ever set foot lin Albany.
Money wouldn't bay him, and
I knew it, but I thought I
would have a littlje fun with
him so I went down, to liia room
one evening and laid: "Fer
kina, what do you think ot that
underground railroad bill! Are
you going to vote for ill"
'Well," said reruns, "I have
not made up my mfud yet, ex
actly. I am inclined to think
it is a good, Lili, but why do
"I thought you were in favor
of it, said 1, "and as long as you
have concluded to vote lor it, I
just want to say that the men
interested in it are paying five
hundred dollars for votes, and
as it is coming up on its final
passage to morrow, you cau
just as well have the money as
not, you will vote for the bill
'Vote for the bill! I'll bo
hanged first,' exclaimed the
irate Terkins. Wo, sir. If im
proper means are being adopt
ed to pass this thing,as yu'i say,
I, fur one, shall vote against it
evtry time. You can't put me
"Oh, I don't caro anything
about it, I tho't lo do you a ia
vor, ana I think I can yet, lor,
to tell you the troth, the rival
companies are here ia full
force and are moving heaven
and earth to deieat it. They
are paying the same amount
ior "noes," and as long as you
are bound to vote that way, Til
get you the five hundred all the
"Can such things be?" ex
claimed Perkins rising from bis
seat, and tearing up and down
the room in a whirlwind ol
righteous wrath and virtuous
indignation. ''What a state of
things this iI A plague on
both our houses. I won't vote
'All right," said I, as I laid
my hanJs on the handle of the
door, 'Til gel you five hundred
dollars for being absent.
The came laws oi Ohio make
a staple article ot local litera
ture about this time, when so
many sportsmen are scouring
up their pieces lor the fall
snooting. The following is the
subi- ance of the game laws ot
All kinds of wild duck may
be killed any time from the
first day of September until
the 15: h of April Wild geese
are not protected by law.
Meadow larks and kiMdeers
may be killed from October 1
until February 1.
Woodcock may be killed
Irom the 4lh of July until the
1st of February.
Quail, phesants and wild lur
keys may be killed Irom the
15th of October until the 1st
day of February.
Doves and rabbits may be
killed from November 1 until
It is unlawful to catch, or at
tempt to catch, with a net,
snare or trap, any quail or Vir
It is unlawiul to kill the fol
lowing birds at any time: Spar
row, rob bin, bluebird, martin,
thrush, mocking bird, swallow,
oriole, redbird, catbird, chew
ing or ground rotbin, kingbird,
bobolink, yellowbird, pewee or
phcebe, wren, cuckoo, indigo
bird, nut hatch, creeper, yel
ionhummer or flicker, warbler
The fine for violating the law
is not less than two dollars nor
more than twenty dollars, or
imprisonment ia the county
jail not more than twenty days,
or both, at the discrtUon .of
An Odd Pet.
A writer in speaking of sail
ors' pets, tells us ol Jock, a seal
of tender years, who for many
months retained the affections
of all hands, until washed over
board in a gale of wind. This
creature's time on board was
fully occupied in a round of
duty, pleasure and labor. 11 is
dutv consisted in eating seven
meals a day, and bathing in a
tub after each; his pleasure to
lie on his side to lie on the
quarter-deck and be scratched
and petted; while his labor
consisted ia ceaselessly en
deavoring to enlarge a certain
scupper hole sufficiently to
permit his escape to his native
ocean, liow indefatigably he
used to work day after day and
hour alter hour, scraping on the
the iron first with one dipper,
then another, then poking his
nose in to measure the result
with his whiskered facet lie
kept the whole bright and
clear, but bid not sensibly en
large it, at least to human
A Safe Lock.
An invention has been pat
ented which will prevent the
recurrence of robberies like
that at the Waterford bank, by
rendering the unlocking of the
bank vault at any unusual
time, even by the officers, an
impossibility. The invention
consists in attaching a clock
to a combiuation lock, which,
previous to locking a safe, may
be set at any hour, aud until
that hour comes, unlocking or
pickin the safe is absolutely
impossible. A bank, ior in
stance, is to be opened at 10
o'clock in tbe morning. The
clock if set so as to permit the
lock to be turned at 10 o'clock
and the cashier himself can
not open the bank, unlil that
hour, for the clock is set from
tbe inside, and can not be tarn
pered with after the door is
closed. When 10 o'clock ar
rives, any one having knowl
edge ot the numbers indicat
ing tbe combination can un
lock the vault in tbe usual
Tiierk are in actual opera
tion in this country 67,104
milps ol railroad, ol which 6,
429 miles have been completed
since 1872, and over 30,000
miles since 1863. Of this to
tal ol mileage there are com
plete ntatistics Irom only 57,
231 miles, the balance oi 9,
871 miles being so nearly com
pleted as to have yet made no
reliable returns. The cost of
construction of the roads
whose figures are given was 4,
159,423,057, and is represent
ed by $1,511,578 944 oi capital
shares and 81,323,844,113 ol
bouded and other indebtedness
Their total earnings for the
year amounted to $473 241,055,
of which $132,309,370 was
Irom transportation of passen
gers. The earnings weie over
15 per cent, on the money in
vested. The cost of running
for the year was $307 484,362,
and the net profit $165,743,705.
Their earnings averaged $11 76
per head of the entire popula
tion of the United States.
The editor of tbe Knoxville
(Iowa) Democrat thus jokes
over the condition ot ihe peel
ed and scattered parly in that
There is Hot enough left of
the old banner under which we
have been fighting lor years, to
patch the seat of tbe trowsers
of a Court House rat. We are
scattered; and in the race
through tbe brush, the devil
will not only get tbe hindmost,
but may gobble the whole lot.
Which will be a good joke on
"Fixcf, you needn't wait any
longer; it is star-light over
head. "Yes, but we ain't goin'
A Simple Croup Preventive.
a piece of black silk
two or three inches wide; sew
it round the child's neck, let
him wear it constantly chang.
ing when it becomes much
worn and thin. Our little one
who was always subject to the
croup has never been troubled
in that way since we used the
silk. Although many a night
he has gone to his crib so
hoarse he could hardly speak.
Try it mothers! It certainly
will do no harm it it does no
good, you had better bave your
little ones cased in black silk
than see them suffering by that
Laura Cuppv Smitu, the spir.
itualist and free lover, writes:
"The lover of my girlhood now
walks the viewless causeways
of the air, and inasmuch as he
was cultured, lofty-souled and
large hearted, he doubtless
loves and is beloved by many
a fair and queenly woman, in
'that land of light and song;'
yet he finds time to return to
earths turbulent scenes and
bathe my toil worn spirits in
the deep waters of his passion
ate and intense affection, and
those chords in my inmost be
ing that first responded to his
touch, remaining mute in pres
ence of all others, thrill and
vibrate as of yore, in ectasy of
rapture when swept by his
spirit touch.'' Which, says the
editor in commenting upon
this poetic effusion, is blissful
Is Sullivan county, N. Y.,
there is published the Liberty
Register, and of those who en
rich its advertising Columns is
one Dusenberry. Ilis notice
thus begins: "It is admitted
that we not only love our
wives, but also our children,
brothers and sisters. They die
We want a suitable coltin or
casket lor the jewel and a ten
der and careful hand to take
it up and bear it to its last
resting place. Who will do it
lor us?" Dusenberry answers
this by saying he will, and he
further remarks: "A good
hearse and peerless team ol
horses in wa ting, at all times,
to receive or deliver a corpse
at the railroad station, or go
elsewhere as far as human
voice is heard or human track
BisiiuP imi'son u laithful to
his committals on "Woman's
Rights," though be has been
somewhat quiet on the ques
tion since it was taken in hand
by an exceptional class) of wo
men. Recently at South Bend
he said: ''Pardon a digression.
I want the day to come when
women will vote. Without
their vote I tear we will never
be able lo put down the houses
of infamy and liquor saloons
of our country. N thing is so
ruinous to the country, it is
true, and it is my opinion that
we can't get along without the
women voting. It is not good
for man to be alone "
A paragraph: is going the
rounds ot the press to the ef
fect that at Lafayette, Ind., the
papers are complaining in
right down earnest because
troops of girls go in swimming
in conspicuous places in the
river. It is a device of tbo
newspapers to draw the atten
tion of rest-seekers lo the
charms of Lafayette as a wa
The "mention" with which
the Omaha editors take pleas
ure in honoring their friends
is illustrated hy the following
choice morsel of recent dale:
"W. M. Madden, commonl
known as 'Fatty, the grea
American traveler,' arrived in
this city recently, And sampled
forty kegs of beer, besides at
tending the circus, and eating
eight straight meals at the Wy
IIashiqua ia the name ot n
town in Noxwbee couuty, Mis
ADVEltttSLNO TEH MS.
Otoe aquare,.. c
Each addition, asertiort ... fill
Cards, per yea- 1Q OO
Local notice er line, 1ft
Yearly advertisements $100 00
column, and at proportionate rate pe
lesanpaee. Payable In advance.
tJThe Record being the oflltln
paper of the town, and having tl i
largest circulation of any paper in the
jounty, offers auperloi InJuccmctf
A Yocno couple in moderate
circumstances, at the time of
their marriage were over
whelmed by considerate friends
with cake-baskets, fish-knivep,
and similar indispensable ar
ticles tor housekeeping. The
lady, however, who was of n
practical turn, traded off the
whole lot for a cook stove, nn
article she was more accus
tomed to "wrestle' with.
A terrible accident ocourred
at the Chillieoihe Foundry and
Machine Works on Second
street, on the 23d ult, about
noon, in which a man by the
name of John Metz lost his life.
Lie was engaged wilh others in
moving an immense furnace
cylinder, when it slipped from
their grasp and rolled over
Caleb Crjauiso says that he
believes his late affair about
the yellow dog has given hin?
greater notoriety than any oth
er act of bis lile. He is ccd
stantly receiving newspapers
containing editorial comment?
on the suit, and people point
him out in the streets as the
man who put an injunction on
''Tiifi University Press at
Madison, Wis., in publishing
ihe course of study at the
Mate University, printed
k'comic lectures" in the list of
studies ior the first term ot the
Sophomore year, where tho
professor had written "conic
"Yes, take her and welcomi,"
responded an Illinois farmer,
when a young man asked for
his blushing daughier. ''She'?
run away wilh a school master,
eloped with a showman, Bhot
wildcat, and whipped her moth
er, and the sooner you take
her the better."
Two Milesians were stand
ing at the Fairmount water
works in Philadelphia, watch
in tbe big wheels splashing the
water in ever direction, when
one of them remarked: "Mike,
isn't this a quare country,
where they have to grind their
water before they can use it?'?
OsLt last week a beloved
and gracious Princess-Mar-chinoness
attended at Wim
bledon so fcays a daily paper
to "witne-s the shooting of
her husband!" And they have
b ea married but little morn
i ha i a year.
The gentleman who asserted
that Jhis friend never opened
his mouth without putting his
loot in it, being called upon to
apologize, said he was very
sorry, but when he inade the'
assertion he did not see the
size of his friend's foot.
"If you don't want the so'h,
don't go up the chimney," wa?
the reply of an editor lo re
spectable" parties who request
ed him not to mention the fact
that they had been arraigned
in the police court.
The precocious scholar, who,
quoting from a distinguished
statesman, said he "knew no
North nor South,' was sur
prised to find himself put At
tbe bottom 6f the clase in ge
ography. An old lady Irom the Coun
try, with six uamarried daugh
ters, went into Augusta, Ga..
he other day, hunting for the
Patrons of Husbandry. She,
A Texan town was recently
visited by a clergyman for the
first time in iU history, and the
hospitable inhabitants pro
oosed getting up a horse race
for his entertainment.
A Prudeni clergyman, un
wilting to accuse a citizen o"
lying, said he nsed the truth
with penurious frugality.
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