Newspaper Page Text
How the Pretty Daughters of the New
Haven Prudent Mothers', Club Hope?
Like "Naomi, My Restaurant Queen"?
to Capture Millionaire Husbands by
Serving Hot Butter Cakes and Coffee
with "Special" Cream to Yale Bovs
The buckwheats now are flat and stale,
The coffee's turning gray;
The milk is sour, the eoup Is jrale?
Naomi's gone away!
Oh, sweet Naomi Campbell Stearns,
You've busted Cupid's darts;
You've stirred a fire that sears and bTirns,
You've broken all our hearts!
?Butter Cake Chorus of Yale Freshmen.
THEIR last faint spark of hope h?s ex
pired. Never again will the ears of
^ s-jsceptible Yale freshmen be
charmed by the dulcet tones of sweet
Naomi Campbell at "Old Ell Lunch," war
"One dark! Fry two! Rush them there
"When sweet Naomi eloped with George
Sullivan Stearns, a freshman In the Shef
field Scientific School at Yale, the shock
was hard to bear; but they bore up, say
ing to each other:
"She'll be back on the Job. George's old
man's a millionaire. Business of proud
family spurning blushing brido?charge of
cradle-snatching?marriage annulled. 'Tls
ever thus?no chorus girl, no candy shop
girl, no butter cake-tosser, need apply.
Consult the newspaper files. Oh, yes,
Naemi'll bo back on the Job?ve should
worry and get an indigestion!"
Blasted hopes, alas! It was barely a""
week ago that the news reached the Yale
campus and the New Haven Prudent Moth
ers' Club that the happy couple had been
received Into the bosom of the opulent
Stearns family. Sweet Naomi, erstwhile
lovely hustler of butter cakes at "Old Eli
Lunch," Is mistress of a handsome man
fion in the smart set district of Capitol
Hill, in Denver, Colo. Far from feeding
butter cakes to Yale freshmen, she is now
serving afternoon tea to the elite of the
Rocky Mountain metropolis. And she has
a husband who is now a solid factor in the
mattress manufacturing Industry which, in
Cincinnati, made a millionaire of his
father, Edwin R. Stearns, of that city.
In the Prudent Mothers' Club, of New -
Haven, this news, while it scatters woe In
the ranks of Yale freshmen, Is received
with exclamations of rapture. It Justifies
the purpose of their organization. It prom
ises opulent husbands for other daughters
of the Prudent Mothers. It demonstrates
the principle that, among Yale men as
well as among all other men:
"A man's affections are reached, r^
talnc-d and controlled through his Etom
ach- Don't rc-ly on your beauty," say the
members of the New Haven Mothers' Club,
"but feed the brutes. Yenuses of the
chorus and Hebes of the candy shops have
won these Yale sons of rich fathers, but
thev knew nothlner nbrriit thn
true that even then the Yale hoys sting her
charms and brought much trade to the
shop so graced by her presence
But soda water Is not ""filling;" college
boys have ravenous appetites and cannot
live by soft drinks alone. Accordingly,
sweet Naomi took counsel with her moth
er?that was before the Prudent Mothers'
Club was organized?and took the step
that was to make her mistress of that
Capitol Hill, Denver, mansion.
She applied to "Sig" Hartenstein, pro
prietor of "Old Ell Lunch"?a favorite
Yale Btudents' eating place established by
his father more than sixty years ago?and
he lost not a moment in engaging her serv
ices. He had already heard of Naomi's
winning ways, and his wisdom was Iden
tical with that of the founders of the
Prudent Mothers' Club.
Frcmi that day business at "Old Ell
Lunch" boomed as
never before. Rich
students who formerly
knew butter cakes only
in theory now received
them eagerly, from the
soft white hands of
Naomi, deserting^ the
gilded cafes to be
come steady customers.
T"p to the beginning
of the last Fall term at
Yale It could not be
seen that Naomi's gra
clousness had specially
marked any Individual among the scores
of her college devotees at "Slg's." She
treated them all alike. Evidently some
thing was needed to fire their competitive
spirit. And that "something" arrived in
the person of George Sullivan Stearns.
This fine-looking, manly and enthusiastic
son of the rich Cincinnati mattress manu
facturer looked upon Naomi when his first
order of butter cakes was fresh from her
hands and lost his heart completely.
From that moment he haunted the place.
A Yale poet has immortalized that first
meeting In verse:
"George Gtearns, a Dauntless Durham'
One day meandered !n,
And sat among the other folic
Amid the crash and din;
And as Naomi wandered by
I saw him start and Btare
With admiration In his eye?
For she was passing fair
I noticed, too, that when she came
To ask him what he'd eat,
Her dimpled cheek burst into flame-*
Oh, my, but she looked sweet!
I saw her fair hands tremble, too;
"Her voice took on the shakes
of feeding them.
H on ey moonbl i s s
the pains of
row Id live on
couldn't. He ap
peals to father,
'Can phe cook?'
fatal truth, >10
1 ut come alone.'
Bride goes back
to her old job.
It's all off."
Thanks to the
(rs' Club, and
to the triumph
ant example of
the tid*} has
tons of rich men
who flock to
Yale are Favf'd
merits w i t h
in a r b h mfilov
bride.?: thev can
"Evenings the fellows all gather around to see
Naomi smile. That's what they're about while
she hands the victuals out?dressed in the
And when you gaze !n her eyes divine.
Like them all you'll say:
"(Spoken.) 'Well, -what WILL you Bay,
"Oh, gee, Naomi, my lunch counter girt.
P'raps It's your size, dear,
P'raps It's your eyes, dear,
Sets my heart awhlrl.
Kiss me, Naomi!
Oh, hon', don't he mean!
Oh, you beautiful big blond baby,
Naomi, my restaurant queen."
In the meantime young Stearns was con
centrating all his faculties on segregating
the lovely waitress at "Slg'B," if not aB a
waitress, at least as a sweetheart, with the
purpose of making her his very own for
life. Too late his fellow freshmen wer?
Front of the
Won by the
V t nutritious hu'ter cakes and capable
wives Ht the same shnp.
No longer will the pretty daughters of
New Haven, "with an eye ou freshmen of
the famous "Gold Coast," seek positions in
the musical comedy chorus. The Prudent
Mothers will ste to that! They will find
light and congenial employment fit "Old
Kll Lunch" and other restauranth popular
with IreEhmcn, and will see that the but
ter cakes are well buttered, the "ham and"
hot off the griddle, the soup fragrant and
nourishing, and the crea::. in t m coffee
skimmed only on one f-ide. They are
already doii* it.
The romance of uweet Naomi was the
prompt reward of her perspicacity. She
would have graced any musical comedy
chorus that ever turned the heads of Yale
freshmen. 5 ;t she was wise, and got a
job at "Old i Lunch.'" It is true that,
four year:* an, at the age of fifteen, pretty
Naomi Campbell left school and went to
work at a New Haven soda fountain; also
In calling forth: 'One dark! Fry two!
Rush them there hutter cakea!'"
George never put the soft pedal on hl3
enthusiasm for Naomi. Ho let It he known
from tho start that ho was "In to win."
I.Ike an electrical wave his enthusiasm set
the whole freshman contingent aflame.
Verily, George had h!? work cut out for
"Sweet Naomi," with a hundred verbal
variations, was on evr-ry freshman lip.
Songs were written about her. At least
one v.as published in regular sheet form,
enUtU'd "Naomi, My Rf-staurant Queen."
Here are the Umpiring words:
"Down in a restaurant not far away,
Where peaches bloom fo ?weet,
There's a littlo queen that has it on them
Pretty and trim and petite.
Fandwlches. "special" cream, "ham and"
Bho hands out all day;
to learn that thlB could happen to tho popu
Now, alas! they romember how she
would lean over his shoulder a hit lowor
than necessary as sh<- served him, whilo
her lips moved Inaudlblv- inaudlbly except
to George. Now they realize that she was
"You like 'extra' croam for your coffee,
"Are the butter cakes hot enough??
hush! the boys are rubbering!"
"Cook? Of course I can cook. What does
a girl amount to If she can't, cook?"
Suddenly one day In February George
Sullivan Stearns was absent from class.
He failed to show up on tho campus. Agi
tation among the "freshlfs." Dark suspi
cion. Grand rush to "Old Ell Lunch."
Worst fears realized?Naomi mysteriously
"They've eloped." ??
Howls of ra^e. Gnashing of teeth, but
not on butter cakes. Then n^ws from
Stratford, Conn., that on Febniary 27 the
Rev. N. Ellsworth Cornwall, rector of
Christ Episcopal Church, had applied thn
bonds of matrimony to Miss Naomi Camp
bell, of New Haven, and CJeorgo Sullivan
Stearns, Yale freshman.
General stupefaction, succeeded by a
flicker of hope?as mentioned near the be
ginning of this story.
"She'll bo back. Rich papa won't stand
for it." ^
They took comfort in recalling the
"Lefty" Flynn-Irene Leary case; the caso
of Howard Sykes, football centre, who also
eloped, and also had his allowance cut off.
They resurrected quito a number of such
Incidents. Was it not an unbroken tradi
tion that sons of rich men at Yale couldn't
?marry "beneath their station" and "get
away with it?" Besides, wasn't it an open
secret that Stearns' parents expected him
to marry an aristocratic young heiress in
the Cincinnati "400?" "Pish, tush!" Naomi
would he back again on tlio job at "Sig's." (
In the meantime JLhey tried to "save their
faces" with published congratulations.
The Spring vacation started at Yale on
March 19. On the day before there ap
peared on the campus a bright little anony
mous sheet called "The Eavesdropper." It
contained this comment on the culmina
tion of tho Stearns-Campbell affair:
"Naomi.?It would be hard to over-esti
mate the terrible loss that our Yale com
munity has recently suffered. The sudden
departure of Naomi from our very midst
has created an aching void that cannot be
filled in a hurry.
"Suffice it to say that Cupid has once
again succeeded in spanning one of tho
pulfs of society. Tho Eavesdropper
wishes the young couple godspeed, and
begs leave to quote for the benefit of the
readers Mr. Hartenstein's touching tribute
to his former employe:
"She was a girl, take her for all In all* ^
I shall not look upon her like again."
Now you will understand the shock?"
Verily, the paralyzing shock of the newa
just received on the Vale campus from
Denver, that Naomi basks in the approval
of her husband's rich and powerful family;
that she is an established factor in the
social life of fashionable Capitol Hill; that
Yale's musty tradition is shattered; and
that, to wit.:
If you want a Yale husband?win him
To which the minutes of the New Hr,ven
Prudent Mothers' Club add:
"A good waitress cannot fall to become
a capable cook. No father of a Yale man
is too rich to understand the advantages of
having a capable cook in the family. Ergo
" etc. 'Nuf said.
The Prudent Mothers' Club la attending;
to the rest , ,j