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TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 37, IS9B.
A DEAD PARTY
The so-called National Democratic
party, having passed its brief existence
on the political stage, now makes a
back-door exit to obscurity. The resig
nation of Its chairman, some days ago,
was a kind of official notice to the faith
ful that the days of the organization
were numbered. Sufficient interest in it
could not be aroused in any state to war
rant the effort of holding a convention.
One of its warm newspaper supporters,
two years ago, now says "its experience
since 1896 shows that It has no sort of
place in the political n>ldi" In fact, its
usefulness ended when it was no longer
needed as an adjunct of the Republican
party to entice Democrats away from
their political allegiance.
While the Gold Democrats made a
comparatively insignificant showing In
1896, they were of some consequence In
the balance of power. A few votes may
be potent in any state, as experience
proved two years ago in California. And
hence if the coming election In this state
should be very close the numb-r of votes
cast for Palmer and Buckner ln tihe
presidential election might be decisive
a£ the result.
Since the Gold Democrat organization
Is now officially declared dead, by the
action of the chairman of its nationa'
committee, its members will have to
decide whether they shall return to the
old party or stray away to the Republi
can fold. All their votes were cast
against the Democratic ticket in ISSfi.
but they were not cast for the Republi
can ticket. They will now decide wheth
er experience in the gold field makes
them yearn to go into training in the
ranks of their old opponents.
There la grave danger that an era of
rational extravagance may develop as
one result of our recent achievements
In war. The European powers seem to
regard the United States as a d-butant
ln international society. They are most
effusive in compliment aid flattery.
They admire not only our style but our
figure, and particularly the number of
naughts that follow the figure that tells
the story of the nation's wealth.
There are some Indications that this
flattery by foreign admirers, coupled
with a new estimate of our own Im
portance, may lead us to drop demo
cratic simplicity ar.d' adopt the extrav
agant habits of European governments.
The temptation is strong. Our wealth
and prestige entitle us to a high plac"
amor.g the nations, ar.d it will require
much self-restraint to be content with
the modest role of other days.
We notice that President McKlnley
already manifests signs of yielding to
those allurements. It Is said that he
determined, weeks ago, that the United
States peace commissioners should ap
pear in Tails in a style commensurate
with the dignity of the nation which they
are to represent. From statements that
now app-ar, as to the equipment of the
commission, we should say that the
presldent'l purpose will be fully realized.
It is understood that funds amounting
to 1260,000 have been deposited In a
Paris, bank, to the credit of Judge Day,
for the expense account of the commis
sion. This stems to be a large figure
for the purpose, but a glance at some of
the details of expense indicate that it
will not be too large- The following ex
tract is from a special telegram from
Washington to the Chicago Chronicle:
From a reliable source it is learned
a daily allowance has been made to t/ie
various members nf the commission *:s
follows: To each of th' commissioners,
$]'.') a rla.v; to Secretary Moore, $7.; to
Assistant Secretary Mac Arthur, fSO; to
Disbursing Officer Brsnnlgan and Chief
Translator Rodriguez, tZr, to each of
the nine Interpreters, attaches, stenog
raphers, etc., HO, and to the iwo mes
sengers, ?.". pe;r day. making a Mia! of
$!(':•:. per day, or. for the ninety days
that they are expected (o be away, a
gratid total of 192,260. This is for the
personal expenses alone of the various
members ard does not include any sal
Another Unified States commission, the
one having charge of matters pertain
ing to the Spanish evacuation of Cuba,
also seems to be upholding the dignity
of the United States on expensive terms.
The last Information from that commis
sion was that lt was enjoying life In
the suburbs of Havana, at an expense
to the government of $1400 a week. It Is
reasonable to assume that (he Porto
Rico commlssdon will likewise hold up
Its end 1 ot the national dignity, and that
a rich field of like kind win be found In
the Philippine arehJpelago.
There is no penuriousness in the aver
age American, and the country will up
hold any reasonable expenditure In
maintaining the national dignity. Man
ifest extravagance, however, should
not be tolerated. This rule Is as appli
cable to a government as to am Individ
ual. Once loosen the nation's purse
strings, ln offlolal extravagance, and the
gravest danger Is Imminent.
Every dollar of money expended by
the government, we must remember,
comes out of the pockets of the people.
The man who labors' for a pittance con
tributes his fhare, indirectly but surely.
In view of the unexpectedly lavish pro
vision made for the American commis
sions abroad It will henceforth be Im
portant to keep an eye on metheds
adopted by the administration for dig
THE COUNTY NON-REPUBLICAN
A careful examination of facts, unin
fluenced by political bias, will convince
any one that Los Angeles county is
reasonably sure to return a plurality
for the union county ticket. In the
marvelous Increase of the country's
population, within recent years, there
ha* been a preponderant ratio of Demo
cratic voters. This assertion Is easily
provable by election statistics. This ra
tio of increase, if it has been main
tained during the period since the last
election, will insure a safe plurality for
the union ticket in the coming election.
In the presidential election six years
ago the vote cast In this county for
Cleveland was 8119. for Harrison 10.226,
the Republican plurality being 2107.
Four years ago, in tire election for gov
ernor, the vote for Budd was 7619, and
for Estee 11,255. The Republican plu
rality In this case was 3636, the large
figure resulting from local Influences
that are familiar and need not be ad
verted to now. Two years ago the county
vote for Bryan was 16.015. and for Me-
Klr.ley 16.839, the Republican plurality
The salient fact ln these figures we
find in the doubling of the Democratic
vote, as shown In presidential elections,
with'lr. the four years elapsing between
1892 and 1896. With any approach to
such increase within the last two years
(ard there Is no apparent reason why
the srime rntio should not continue) thei
Republican ticket will be decidedly In
the minority next November.
In addition to these Indisputable facts
we have incidental assurance of vic
tory to* the tit lon ticket. It has the
unanimous ar.l earnest support of the
three parties, while the Republican ticket
is handicapped by dissensions ir. the
party. The wrangle among Repub
lican leaders over the state ticket and
the choice of campaign managers is cer
tain to be detrimental to their county
ticket. The outlook, therefore, we re
gard ns highly favorable for the election
Of the ur.ior. county candidates by sub
SAYINGS OF REPUBLICANS
Newberry is the discoverer of Waters.
1 only aidjd his nomination. Newberry
and Waters were acquainted over at
Riverside or some other place in that
part of the country. Being a man of
w-alth and a banker, I suppose Waters
was familiar with finance, in" most im
portant question before the country. If
not he ought to be. with his experiences.
I do not approve his "slop-bucket"
speech. He was indiscreet, and, if he had
been a mar. of reading, he would not hay
mad» the blunder. The old philosophers
say "the truth shou'd not be spoken at
Bay, Parker, what has become of
He'a gor.e east. —Parker.
What ti r? lie ought to be here. The
fight is going hard for us. ano. all the
fellows that are up to sr.uff ou£tht to
be or. hand.—-Fiir.t.
Billy is dlsgusti 1 with Waters. He's
had the msmagement of Waters' iighi.
and won th* nomination for him; but
Waters don't pan out as Hilly supposed
he would. Waters can't make a sp-eeh
v. >rth a damn, ar.d when he tries there
is no telling what fool thing he may do.
It seems to me there isn't much b°lng
done. Trie's we car. get up some enthu
siasm we're gr.lng to be licked.—Flint.
I krow it. There is but <n« way to
animate the boys, and you know what
that is. They've got to come down with
the spondooiicks. There are not offices
enough to go round, and the only other
thing to do Is to pay cash for work.—
Don't you think Har.na will help?
I s>ee the president has called him back
to the holm— FUnt.
Those manufacturers down east have
got all the legislation they want, and
th»y don't like to put up any more.
Perhaps Hanna can make them shell out.
I have half a notion that Hilly Dunn has
gone to see what h* can do.—Parker.
I hear a goe>d deal of dissatisfaction
with the county ticket.—Flint.
There oughtn't to be, for the push had
their own way. The defeated' candi
dates are sore, but the party can't be
run unless things are passed around. It
Is Important to keep everything in the
bands of the push. You must under
stand that I am a graduate from the
Llndley academy of political art, and
was Llndley's favorite scholar. Rlvei
is another graduate, but he especially
studied the agricultural branch. The
Times needn't worry about my being
cm the executive committee. They can't
get along without me. Dan Burns and
Major McLaughlin know my worth. I
represent Dan down h*re.—Parker.
When will Dan be down here? Will
he bring the supplies?— Flint.
Dan will be down in a few days. He's
coming to the races, but he'll come well
heele-d, I thlr.k. McLaughlin'la coming,
too, but If he brings' anything it will
be from Hanna. Dan. doesn't handle the
regular funds, He co-operates with the
LOS ANGELES HERALD: TUESDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 27. 189.
committee, but his resources aire on the
It is related that Cicero and Rosolus
practiced making speeches Jointly.
Cicero talked and Rosolus gestured. If
Gage would play the' part of Rosclus
with me I think we would make a sensa
tion, but I would like to have him prac
tice a little ln the graces of gesticulation.
I feel that I am ln an awkward posi
tion. When I was an orator for the
Prohibition party I said the Republican
party was assembled around a beer
hogshead, and all had straws In their
mouths. I expect that at any moment
they'll present me with a straw. —Will
It isn't as pleasant as I thought lt
would be. Those fellows down ln Los
Angeles put me up to be a candidate In
order to beat Cox and Downing out of
the Pasader.a delegation. They were
willing to knock out Newlin to save
themselves, but they all got knocked out.
Newlin had kept me In office three years,
and I felt that I ought not to b* candi
date against him, but those fellows down
there said>,"evcrything Is fair lmpolitics,"
and they overcame my scruples. If I
had lt to do over again I would show
my gratitude to Newlin by trying to
help him. I am a boy In politics-by the
side of those old stagers in Los Ange
Pomona was satisfied by my nomina
tion. I used to live over there, and I
will see that the people are pacified. If
I had not been put on the ticket there
would have been some trouble.—Ksllogg.
"Out, damned spot!" They keep harp
ing on my nepotism, the bungling legis
lation that passed through my hands
as chairman of the judiciary committee,
and my vote for the appropriation to pay
the Duckworth supernumeraries.—Simp
LACK OF SCHOOL ROOM
From various parts of the country we
get reports of inadequate school accom
modation. Los Angeles Is not more for
tunate in this respect than many other
olttes and towns, although there Is no
reasonable excuse for any lack of rccm
here. In some localities in the east,
however, neglect to provide sufficient
school room reaches the level of crim
New York, for instance. Is receiving
deserved censure from all points. The
head of th" great foreign mission sys
t- m. which employs thousands of per-
• Bona to look out for the welfare of the
heathen in foreign land?, has forty
i 1 thousand chlldiren who are deprived of
school privileges for want of room.
. That was the situation at the begir.r.'ir.g
■<,f the term, although some emergent
j shifts have reduced the number.
Th.' stupid shortsightedness of munle
ij.nl officials is the primary cause of all
the trouble relative to School accommo
dation. They fail to comprehend the
i constantly Increasing demand for more
room. Here In Lis Angeles, for exam
j pie. a capacity sufficient for the present
I y-ar will be utterly inad»qunte next
! year. The approximate increase should
! always be- kept in mind, and timely pro-
I vision should be made to meet it.
There is r.o difficulty about getting)
sufficient money, ir this or any
j American city, for school purposes. The
taxpayers are the parents of the child
ren, and if there is any deficiency of
I room the fault is not theirs. The- illlter-,
i ate children of today are the criminals
of the future, and to deny scrim.: priv
ileges to any of th'm Is to propagate
ENOUGH OF WAR
a New York religious Journal wildly
demands that the government at once I
fend a fl»tt of war vessels to the Bos
phorus to compel th* sultan to pay the;
Armenian Indemnity. This eagerness
i for cash nr blood hardly comports with
1 the teachings of the New Testament. It
Is suggestive of the lion and the lamb
1 lying down together with only the lion
We have no dispute with the peculiar
views of the- religious Journal alluded
to. We decidedly object, however, to
seeking another war before th; balance
sheet is struck in the account of the one
Just ended. The United States is not
In the mood to go about looking for a
shoulder with a chip on it.
This religious journal says that "the
whole- American people would approve
if our fleet should be to force our
just claim against the Turk." Th'
Americar. people will approve any meas
. tire, no matter how drastic, necessary
. to maintain the honor and dignity of dis
united States. It will be time enough
to let loose the dogs of war when the
necessity arises. Even our religious
contemporary should try to curb its
eagerness for another conflict.
This paper's appetite for war Is only
worthy of notice because it is an ex
ample of pro-war bluster that we may
now expect to hear whenever opportu
nity occurs. There Is a larger class of
people who want war ffr what they car
Incidentally make out of It. We Judge
from the attitude of the paper referred
to that this class may be re.prr-sentpd
within the religious fold. However that
may be, the experience of the recent
war Is not likely to make the United
States anxious for another.
President McKlnley's secretary, John
Addison Porter, Is being raked over hot
newspap'-r coals ln Connecticut for
what Mr. Cleveland called "pernicious
activity." Mr. Porter was a candidate
for the Republican nomlnatkm for gov
ernor, and made himself very obnoxious
to a wing of hits party by his personal
efforts. He failed to get the nomination,
and now the Republican leaders are
Importuning the president to bounce his
secretary. But the president Is "faith
ful to his friends."
Another American Industry has been
successfully developed In England. A
series of railway wrecks has lately oc
curred on the Northwestern' and MldV
land railroads, caused by track obstruc
tions. The report cays that "one theory
Is that the crimes- are the work of a band
of train wreckers looking- for plunder
and emulating the far west holdt-ups."
The work Is evidently not done by Amer
icana. The latter would not merely look
for plunder; they would get It.
A chip of the old block Is Lieutenant
John C. Fremont. After distinguishing
himself ln the Cuban campaign he was
appointed supervisor of New Tork har
bor. One of his duties Is to see that the
beaches are kept free from refuse. There
were garbage-Uttered shores, but the
offenders could not be located. In order
te solve the mystery the lieutenant dis
guised himself as a flshermanand finally
discovered that th* hotel keepers were
Cases of Insanity are not Infrequent
in Los Angeles, but Just at the moment
of writing we do not recall any that re
sulted from overwhelming prosperity.
Such a case we hear of from Topeka. A
Chicago man suddenly became violently
Insane, ln the Kansas town, and his
brother, who responded to a summons,
attributed the mental upset to "excite
ment over large proflt6 recently made In
business transactions." The moral, of
course, is obvious.
When young Letter was ballooning
wheat he claimed that he was greatly
benefiting the farmers by advancing
prices. The wheat growing states give
evidence that he was at least measurably
correct. Kansas, for Instance, claims
to be in better financial condition than
ever before, although farmers In some
sections of the state were abandoning
their hcrr.rs only three years ago. There
!Is a vast difference between fifty cent
and dollar wheat.
Illlncls Is still agitated about the liquid
that shall be used In christening the bat
tleship that is to bear the rtate's name.
A canvass of Chicago clergymen has
been made for expression of views on the
subject, with the surprising result that
the ministers generally express a pref
erence for wine or else manifest in
difference. And now the temperance
people retort by saying this is because
the ministers use nine In the churches.
A train of cars absolutely unique Will
probably soon be*on Its way from Phila
delphia to San Francisco. There will be
llfteen cars of freight, carrying fifteen
tons each, and the goods will be sliver
bullion, consigned to the San Francisco
mint. Th" treasury department intends
to save money by being Its own express
company. It Is r.-eed'H-ss to say that op
portunities for the "hold up" industry
will be limited.
An example of the figure ths United
States cuts in the merchant marine of
the world is shown by the business state
ment of the Sue* canal. For the past
■ fiscal year 1792 ships passed through the
: canal, of which only four were Ameri
can. Spain beat that record, ir number
of vessels, when Camara's fleet passed
through and then passed back again.
— a> • *$)
Pasadena is looking for a man who Is
immune from social obloquy to act as
official dog catcher. No person ln the
crown city can be found to take the Job,
ard so search Is being made in Los An
gers. The trouble with the Pasadena
fellows le piobnbly not so much the ques
tion of obloquy as th« necessity for
taking out accident policies.
i Now we hear of another source of In
come derivable from the Alaska pur
-1 chas*. The Aleutian islands are said
I to offer rich pasturage-, where vast herds
of cattle might t>« maintained. The
United States Is making a specialty of
islands now, and we should rot lose sight
inf th«*r we already have In stock.
A lucky star must have been in the
ascendant, as astrologers say, when
j Llenter.ant Hobson was born. Fame
: threw a garland to him for sinking a
vessel, and he Is likely to get another
! Cor raising one. When lt comes to re
\ naming Cervera's cruiser why not In
fanta Maria Teresa Hobson?
In summing up his Impressions, after
visiting the soldiers- in various camps,
Secr«tary Alg»r says he is delighted.
That is one opinion. Now let us bear
from the soldiers.
Truly we cannot have everything' to
pleas" us. The longed-for rains have
appeared up north, and the plaint comes
from Merced that the grape crop is
THE MISSING ONE
I don't think I'll go into town to see the
boys come back;
My be-In there would do no good, in all
that Jam and pack;
There'll be enough to welcome them—to
cheer them when they come
A-marchln' bravely to the time that's beat
upon the drum—
They'll never miss me ln the crowd—not
one of 'em will care
If, when the cheers are ringln* loud, I'm
not among them there.
I went to see them march away—l hollered
with the rest,
And didn't they look fine, that day, a
marehln' four nbreast.
With my hoy Jamas up near the front, as
handsome as could be.
And wavln' back a fond farewell to mother
and to me!
I vow my old knees trlmbled so, when they
had all got by,
I had to Jlst set down upon the curbstone
there and cry.
And now they're comtn" home again! The
record that they won
Was sleh ns shows we still have men, when
men's work's to be done!
There wasn't one of >m thnt flinched, each
feller stood the test-
Wherever they were sort they sailed right
in and done their best!
They didn't go away to play—they knowed
what was ln store-
Rut there's » trrave somewhere, today,
down on the Cuhnn shore!
I guess that I'll not go to town to see the
boys come In:
I don't 11st feel like mlxln' up ln all that
crush and din!
There'll be enough to welcome them—to
cheer them when they come
A-marehln' bravely to the time that's beat
upon the drum.
And the bovs'll never notice—not a one of
'em will care.
For the soldier thnt would miss me ain't
a-goln' to be there!
—S. E. Itlser in Cleveland Leader.
Things Told by Our Consuls
The general business ot the United States
of Colombia showed Improvement last year,
notwithstanding the unsatisfactory condi
tion of the coffeo market. The country Is,
however, cursed with a fluctuating cur
rency, and an Instability results which ex
tends to all branches of trade. A man
worth Jloo.OOO In Cartagena may ln a week's
time be worth not more than $80,000, though
he may have carefully refrained from do
ing anything of any kind. Some actlvitly
in railway construction has been shown;
there has been a large Increase ln the
wharfage of Cartagena, Just.fled by an in
creasing export and Import trade, and
there has been some construct lon of steam
ers Intended to operate upon the rivers.
© © ©
On May 6th Consul Sorsby wrote from
San Juan del Norte that the foreign debt
of Nicaragua amounted to $1,400,000, and
that the government had defaulted two
years ln Interest on lt. Some of the officials
have called to see htm ad Interim, and he
now writes that the foreign debt Is only
$1,552,000 and the 4 per cent Interest on lt
has been promptly paid when due, "ln
spite of political troubles and other serious
upon the resources of the country."
© © ©
Writing from Dawson City under date of
August 4th, Consul McCook says some suc
cinct and savage things about the Klon
dike country: "Prices of provisions are 25
per cent higher than they were last year.
Lodging is hardly to he had at any price.
Outsiders cannot realize these conditions.
Destitution and starvation arc Imminent to
many who cannot get away. No one should
come here without a couple of thousand
' dollars and provisions for two years. The
output of gold has been exaggerated five
© © ©
During IS!>7 France produced 864.713.420
gallons of w ne.f) decrease cf more thar.
3.000,000 gallcns. In a list of twenty-five
wine-producing countries the United States
stands sixteenth, with 30,603,740 gallops, an
increase of SO percent over the production
of 1596. Italy stands next to France, with
a production of 685,000,000 gallons, and Spain
is third, w.th 319.000,000 gallons to Its credit
© © ©
Consul Nusbaum says that there are a
thousand F.ngl.sh-speaking residents of
Munich who would buy American slkcs f
they hail a chance. He adds that Ameri
can shoe manufacturers cm build up a
lucrative trade In Germany if they nil
open large stores and display their goods.
Bavarians have sh-rter feet than Ameri
cans. People ever there w.ll not buy cr.
the representations made by English oata-
i logues. "I am convinced," he says, "that
jth'.s district would become a profitable
market for American-made roller-top
desks, brass bedsteads, wnshirtc machi: es
and wringers, if the proper method of in
troducing them were adopted."
© © ©
The business of meat extraction in Uru
guay paid last year a dividend of ?> per
cer.t. The geld production of the republic
w.is inly 138,506. The Germans have made
grctat inroads upon Uruguayan trade, driv
ing out English competitors. Their goods
are not so durable as the English manu
factures—are. in r.tct, of distinctly poorer
Quality—but they have studied the demands
ot the market and met lt. while the Brlt
:shers are tco conservative to change. The
Germans, however, will be forced to prove
I the quality of their goods In order to held
their own. In cotton girds the United
I States is making satisfactory advances.
! This year has seen the largest Importation
of agricultural machinery jet recorded !n
Uruguay. The consul at Montevideo says:
"Our machines have won their place on the
market by sheer merit, being more ser
vieeihlc. lighter, less Table to breakage
and better suited for the purpose intended.
Intelligent age-.ts have done excellent work
in this line, and the machines will do their
:wn talking n the harvest fields of the re
public ln ISi'S. As long as the quality Is
maintained our exports will :ncrease in
these l:r.es st the expense of those of for
eign make, some of which are rank eoun
• terfe;ts of American goods."
© © ©
I In Guadeloupe there la practically n
meat famine. The Island's supply of beef
learn- from Porto Rico, and the Spanish
war stopped exportation, which has not
1 been resumed. The last steer has been
slaughtered. Diseased cattle are being
killed. Beef sells at 35 cents a pound, flour
at $10 a barrel and small chickens at $1
© © ©
In Switzerland, where the railway sys
tem Is controlled by the government, pas
senger rates have been reduced to a basis
that seems Incredibly low to an American.
There railway tickets are sold by time and
j not by mileage. On application a non
transferable ticket, good for fifteen days,
| w ill be Issued to a person. The cost Is
$11.88. During these fifteen days the holder
may travel as much and as long as he likes
over the entire railway system. The lake
steamers are also available, a second-class
railway ticket giving the rlptht to n first
class passage on any one of the steamers.
One may travel for an entire ye»r for $115.
These tickets are rigorously personal, and
each has the photograph of lis holder at
tached. No baggage, however. Is carried
free. No allowance is made for tickets
unused. On the Franco-Swiss frontier all
vexatious questions, demands and delays
have been done away with for members of
the French Touring club. Their bicycles
are admitted free of charge. There is no
longer a charge for permit of entrance. The
wheel is treated simply as ordinary bag
© © ©
No bicycles are made In Mexico. Several
firms Import bicycle parts and set up the
machines. All of the parts come from the
T'nited States, and every leading American
make has representatives ln that country.
The demand for bicycles in Mexico has In
creased for the last four years at therat"
of 5 per cent each year ever the preceding
year. The consul at Monterey thinks thnt
any American firm having the capital to
start a factory IP Mexico would grow rich,
as the duty of a cent a pound on un
nickeled parts and 10 cents a pound on
nickeled parts would be avoided. The raw
rubber for the manufacture of tires could
be cbtalned in the republic—ll. S. Canfield
ln Chicago Times-Herald.
A Tribute to Maguire
Mr. Phelan at the opening of the Demo
cratic campaign In Sonoma county ln Santa
Rosa last Saturday night told, amidst tre
mendous applause, of the noble light Ma
gulre had made aga nst the funding bill.
After touching on the very good reasons
Mr. 1-luntlngton has for opposing Judge
Magu re, Mayer Phelan said:
The opposition press ar.d others have
told the people that Mr. Huntington !s
not in politics. It would be a very for
tunate thing for California If he were
- Why, be figured In the contest (or
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First and Spring
timm . ! —sb ama a a ij-dx-LL^g)
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208-210 8. Spring St., Wilcox Building
Removal Notice . . .
Pending the erection of our new Music and Art Building at 133*235
South Broadway, our temporary warerooms will be at 311 West third
street, between Broadway and Hill streets.
BLAWCHAPD PIANO CO.
lrlv»t» Sanitarium. Be port •( eim sent free. 41»4 Bcatk Sprint; st.Loa Aac slat, Osi.
governor, for congress, for senators,
fjr the board of equalisation.
Men w.th unswerving loyalty to right
and. their constituents are what are
needed in office, 'vi c know Judge Ma
guire. He has always faithfully served
the people. He has been subjected to
tho greatest temptation and has not
yielded. The Democrats present such
a mar. against one we do not know
one who has had no public experience.
If you do not reward such a man—a
man who has served you faithfully—you
do net offer an Incentive to goodigov
We can't discuss Gage, for there Is
nothing to discuss. It would be pre
posterous to compare the men. In
Maguire's hands the state Is safe. He
is a worthy man and will serve you
Mayor Phelan paid a fine record to Ma
guire's record In congress and character
ized him as a man of whom not only Cali
fornia but the United States is proud. As
a lover of Justice and honor he was un
Housekeeper-If I give you a meal will
you cut our grass? Weary Walker—l.ady,
1 11 cut lt dead; I'll scorn ter notice It—
Dusty Koades—They say the earth makes
a complete revolution In twenty-four hours.
Weitry Wraggles—That must be the rea
son I'm always so tired. I hadn't any
Idea 1 was taking so much exercise.—Bos
The Philanthropic Gentleman—My friend,
do you know that the use of alcohol makes
:i man less able to work? Hungry Hlggtns
—That removes my last scruple agin the
stuff.— Indianapolis Journal.
Lady—Now that you have finished a good,
substantial d.nner, I suppose you will not
object to saking a few sticks of wood?
Tramp—l'd like ter obleege yer, lady, but
me togs is so thin dat I'm afreed I couldn't
stand the cold. Lady—Cold! And the ther
mometer at iiO in the shade! Are you crazy?
Tramp—Nope. I knows it's hot, but den
t'll be a cold day w'en I saw wood. See?—
All Must Pay Board
Boston Herald: When members of the
Queen's family or any wandering Oerman
relatives of high degree visit I,ondon and
occupy apartments in Buckingham palace,
"by Invitation," they pay their board Just
like common folk in a nrst-class hotel.
This prevents the sovereign lady from hav
ing too much company and makes things
very pleasant for the palace servants. The
independence it gives some of the royal
guests is not wholly appreciated by them,
but, as the Queen early in her reign deter
mined on this economical course, her sub
jects cannot Justly complain of her extra
vagance. It is a very expensive piece of
pleasure being a guest of royalty, and even
the Queen's own children must pay their
way out of their allowances when not di
rectly under mamma's roof.
Saved the Supplies Anyway
Now that Camp Thomas has been aban
doned it Is found that there are twenty
carloads of hospital supplies left over
there. And General Boynton actually
points to this as a vindication of his re
port exonerating the hospital management
at the camp!— Buffalo Express.
A Trustful Barbarian
In the simplicity of h!s heart Aguinaldo
ventures the opinion that the great na
tions should aid and protect a young na
' tlon. Instead of grabbing her territory;
which shows that the Filipino leader has
yet much to learn regarding the piratical
ways of great nations.—Buffalo Courier.
When Willie Joined the volunteers
tie looked so tall and grand,
With his rifle on his shoulder
And his prayer book ln his hand-
And father said to Willie:
"Shoot a Spaniard every crack,
And then you'll wear the shoulder straps
When you come marching back."
Two months went by; pa went to camp
To see If Wlll'.o wore the straps,
But instead of shooting Spaniards
There was Willie shooting craps!
i —Atchison Globe.
THE FAIR SEX
Why don't some of tbe married women
look as pretty as the widows?
An Atchison woman owns a hone and
buggy, but has never been able to drive out
In the country. The horse won"t go.
When a woman's hOTse gets ready to go
home he turns around and goes.
Every fat woman should be sympathetic.
Somehow when people look at a fat woman
they wonder If her friends don't cry out
their troubles on her shoulder. A statue
of a thin woman representing Sympathy
Is never tree to Ufa.
An Atchison woman: whose husband re
fuses to let her give parties la compelled to
move every year ln order to let people sea
her new furniture.
Every girl about to be married aaya that
It la In tha contract that she will not have
to ask her husband for money, but we no
tice that every married woman does It —
Senator Peffer's Potatoes
Senator Peffer Is fond of reflating the
story of how he once duped the managers
of a Kansas county fair. "On examination
of th* sweet potatoes exhibited," he says,
"I saw that the size of the rpeclments wot
nothing to brag of, and I sent out to a
grocery store and purchased a bushel of
fine ones; took the small ones out for home
use, carried the rest up to the fairgrounds,
entered them ln my own name and drew
the premium for the best specimen of
sweet potatoes grown ln W..son county."—
Tim says that one day he was walking
down the main street of Dawson City, when
he met Emma Kelly, the Topeka girl, and
said; "Miss Kelly, your nose Is frosen."
Miss Kelly looked at him a moment and
then replied: "Well, sir, I think yours Is
too." And so it was. Connelly say*he saw
the remains of two men who had been
buried at Forty-Mile five years ago, and
the bodies were frozen as stiff as on the
day of the funeral.—Lacrosse (Kan.) Re
A Klondike Nugget
A young man of Hamilton, Ont., who
went mining to seek his fortune, wrotg
back to his father that he had done well,
and added this P. S.: "I will be bi<mei
Wednesday evening. Meet me at dark Just
out of town, and bring a blanket or a whole
pair of trousers with you. I have a hat."
Seen Too Often
A Kansas boy writes home from Manila:
"There nre many queer customs to be seen
here. The native women do not hold up
their skirts while crossing the streets. They
have no skirts to hold up. But that Isn't
:he strange custom. The men don't look."
—Kansas City Star.
Being "In It"
We are always hearing of the desirability
of being "in It," There Is nothing to it.
To be "ln it" means late lunches, late hours,
a bad stomach, poor work next day and a
dissatisfied employer. To be "in it" long
eventually means to be out of a Job.—
Parrot (scornfully)— Aw—what a hat!
what a hat! what a hatl
Old Dady (Indlganntly)-The ungrateful
beast! I'll resign from the Audubon soci
ety at once and trim my bonnet with par
rot wings!— Harper's Bazar.
SONG OF THE MAUSER BULLET
(Those who have heard and felt the Mau
ser bullet say It sounds like "ping an*
again like "z-z-z sew!" The movement of
a Mauser bullet Ira Its effective range of
two thousand yards Is like that of a top,
first rotating evenly, then flying straight,
and finishing in wide wabbles.)
Armed to kill, set loose by hate,
I've blood to spill and bones to break;
I stab, I slay, I lame, I malm.
Till I rest ln the breast of him I've slain.
But to me no blame ln this battle game
To exchange my rest in the breast I've
For my z-z-z, ping, sewl and Its gift of
Z-z-z ping! z-z-z zew!
Two thousand yards of cleft air thro',
Six hundred yards of spiral whirl,
Six hundred yards of level hurl.
Eight hundred yards of gouging swirl!
Z-s-s ping! s-s-a sew!
May heaven help the gray and blue
In the path of my wrath when I've work
In two thousand yards of z-z-s ping! sewl
—Emory Foster ln the New York Herald
> . ' ' * ' 'i.