Newspaper Page Text
4
FRISCO'S POLICE
ARE CHAMPIONS
DEFEAT LOCAL BLUECOATS BY
CLOSE SCORE M|
GAME GOES TO TEN INNINGS
Negto Matcot and Great Gobs of Luck
Aid In Snatching tha Victory
From Loa Angeles'
One insignificant, forlorn looking,
Woolly headed descendant of Ham,
known as "Midnight," dressed in a
mouth of enormous size and a pair of
overalls, caused the baseball team of
the Los Angeles police department to
retire from Chutes parn yesterday af
ternoon in defeat, while the 'Frisco
nine, although marching back with
colors flying, fully appreciated the fact
that their ten-inning victory to the tune
of 7 to B was not all the result of good
playing.
| The performance of the day began
yesterday with a parade, which formed
at the police station with a sauad of
bicycle officers in the Tan. Chief of
Police Hammel, Capts. Auble and Brad
ish and the two teams riding in auto
mobiles formed the body of the pro
cession, while the new electric am
bulance brought up the rear guard to
pick up any officers Injured by the au
tomobiles or to serve as emergency in
case the Lob Angeles team should find
it necessary to arrest any of the good
'Frisco players to keep them out of the
game.
"Midnight" Was Mascot
Just before the start the afore-men
tioned little negro hove in sight from
| Hill street. He was as black as the
proverbial ace of spades, and as the
ball players caught sight of him there
was a general scramble in his direction.
Escola, the 'Frisco catcher, caught him,
bore him in triumph to the 'Frisco
auto and dubbed him "Midnight," and
' when his cap was removed each player
rubbed his hand over the kinky wool
to put luck into his batting perform
■ance. :v '•'>''■■
The game was arranged under the
direction of the Los Angeles Police Re
lief association for the benefit of the
department relief fund, and the work
of Capts. Bradlsh and Auble, Officers
Walsh and Tyler and Sergts. "Williams,
Harris Craig and Haupt was apparent
in the fine program and the smooth way
In which the performance was carried
out. The association will probably be
substantially benefited, as a crowd of
nearly 3000 persons was in attendance.
' Preceding the game it was announced
that Ludwig & Mathews would present
a great basket of fine fruit to the first
man making a home run, and the
,'Frisco bunch went to the bat de
termined to carry away the Juicy prize.
With two strikes stowed away,
Plume, the first man up for the visitors,
sent a safe one singing down along
the right field line. He waltzed down
to the Initial bag, but on a very ques
tionable decision was sent back. After
that' the outs came In one, two, three
order under the effective curves of R.
Whaling.
Held* Home Run
And then came Los Angeles' Inning,
and Percy Held, captain of the locals.
Beau Brumrnel of the department and
general good fellow, picked up his wil
low, received the blessings of his team
mates, walked to the plate, hitched up
his trousers and— won the fruit basket.
j Blrdsall, captain and pitcher for the
northerners, evidently had respect for
the able Percy, for' with great care
he picked out his finest spit ball
from the dope collection and served it
daintily up to the plate. And Percy,
closing his eyes and seeing only a
basket of fruit before him, drove at that
very first ball, and when the dust
cleared a man was climbing back over
the fence with the stray ball, while
Percy was receiving a huge bouquet of
alfalfa as a reward for his meritorious
performance, t
From that time on the teams settled
down to consistent playing and put up
one of the best exhibitions of amateur
baseball ever seen in Los Angeles.
Luck With Visitors
The luck, however, was all with the
Visitors, and some of their lucky plays
called forth expressions of wonder until
the bleachers caught sight of the
'Frisco players constantly replenishing
their store of good fortune by rubbing
the little coon's wool.
•Frisco came back in the second with
two runs. Los Angeles repeated this
performance in the third, and at the
start of the ninth both teams were at a
tie with five runs each.
With a man on first and third in the
ninth Inning, Whaling settled down and
gave a remarkable exhibition of clever
pitching, sending three men to the
bjench in rapid order. Los Angeles then
•went to the bat, and at the decisive
moment, when a hit would have won
the game, the luck of the north was
again manifested and Smith, driving
out what appeared to be a safe hit over
short, was scarcely less surprised than
the shortstop when that player, after
making a frantic dive In the air, came
down with the ball stuck in the palm
of his bare right hand. The tenth'fln
lshed in a whirlwind, 'Frisco hammer
ing out two runs and Los Angeles go
ing over the road in rapid succession.
The score: ■
LOS ANGELES.
Held, lb 8 12 2 4 12
V. Whaling, lb 4 0 1 0 15 0 0
R. .Whaling, p 5 10 0 16 0
gtory. sa 41 10123
Bmlth. rf 4 0 1:0100
Graham. If 3 '13 1 0 0 0
lluase, cf , 5 0 10 10 1
Healy. o lb j 0 0 0 3 0 \
Longeman. lb 2b ... 3 1 0 .0 3 0 1
Totals ..39 5 ~j 1 30 jo oo
BAN FRANCISCO.
ABBBHBBPOA E
Flume, S3 fl 3 0 1 2 « y
LOS ANGELES POLICEMEN DEFEATED BY TEAM FROM SAN FRANCISCO DEPARTMENT
LOS ANGELES POLICE BASEBALL
TEAM
Jaeger, 3b • 6 0 0 0 3 10
Tsola, o 5 0 10 8 3 0
Blrdsall, p lb 4 1118 0 0
White, lb p 3 0 13 3 2 0
Hurley, rf 5 110 0 0 1
Proll, 2b 6 2 11110
Hamlll, If 6 0 3 0 2 0 0
Becker, cf 4 10 0 3 11
Totals 43 7 8 4 30 14 2
RUNS AND HITS BY INNINGS.
Los Angeleß ..1020011 0 0 o—s
Base hits 112011210 0-9
San Francisco.. 0200111 00 2—7
Base hits 020012210 1-9
, . SUMMARY. ,
Home run — Held. Three-base hft— Story.
Two-base hit— Graham, Tsola, F. Whaling.
Sacrifice hit— White. First base on er
rors—Los Angeles, 1; San Francisco, 9.
Left on bases — Los Angeles, 10; San Fran
cisco, 11. Bases on balls— Off Birdsall, 4;
off White, 3; off Whaling, 2. Struck out-
By Whaling 14; by Birdsall, 2; by White,
5. Passed balls— Whaling, 1; Healy, 1;
Tsola, 3. Wild pitch-White. Hit by
pitched ball— Becker, Graham. Time of
game— 2:lo. Umpires— Knell and Ham
burger.
STANDING OF THE CLUBS
Pacific Coast League
Played. Won. Lost. P. C.
Tacoma 89 64 34 .614
San Francsico .... 94 60 43 .538
Portland 83 41 42 .494
Los Angeles 87 42 45 .483
Oakland 69 38 49 .437
Seattle W 35 47 .127
American League
Won. Lost. P. C.
Chicago 41 23 .611
Cleveland 42 25 .627
Philadelphia 41 26 .612
Detroit 33 34 .493
Boston 29 33 .468
New York 29 34 .460
St. Louia 25 44 .362
Washington 23 43 .348
National League
Won. Lost. P. C.
New York 52 21 .712
Plttsburg 46 2S .622
Philadelphia 43 29 .697
Chicago 43 31 .SSI
Cincinnati 38 35 .521
St. Louis 27 47 .365
Brooklyn 22 51 .301
Boston 21 SI .292
NATIONAL LEAGUE
ORVIE OVERALL PITCHES
WINNING GAME FOR REBS
By Associated Press.
CINCINNATI, July 9.— Three bases on
balls and a balk gave St. Louis Its only
run in the first inning. Sensational
fielding by the Cinclnnatis kept down
the visitors' score. Attendance, 4200.
Score;
Cincinnati 6 11 1
St. Louis 13 2
Batteries— Overall and Phelps; Taylor
and Leahy. Umpire— Bausewine.
CHICAGO AND PITTSBURG
IN TEN.INNING TIE
By Associated Press.
CHICAGO, July 9.— Plttsburg scored
two runs in the fourth by bunching
their hits. Flaherty had the locals shut
out, , with only j four singles in eight
innings, but went wild in the ninth,
giving: a pass, forcing in Chicago's first
run by hitting a batsman and being
hit for a single and double, good for
two runs. The game was called at
the end of the tenth to allow .both
teams to catch a train. Attendance,
6500. Score:
Chicago 2 6 2
Pittsburg 2 11 2
Batteries — Wicker, Reulbach and
O'Neill; Flaherty and Peitz. Umpire—
O'Day.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
CLEVELAND WINB TWO j
FROM ST. LOUIS MEN
By Associated Press. •
ST. LOUIS, July 9.— On a soggy field
and in a drizzling rain Cleveland took
both ' games in a double-header today.
The second game was stopped In the
fifth inning by a heavy downpour. At
tendance, 3900. Score:
Flint game—
St. I.oula 3' h 6
Cleveland 6 7 1
Batteries— Sudhoft and Roth; Ilhoads
Bernhard and Buelow.
Second same—
St. Louis 3' <j i
Cleveland 9 11 0
Batteries— Morgan, Buchanan and Suk
den: Donahue and Burns.
BUNCHED HITS GIVE
GAME TO DETROIT TEAM
By Associated Press.
CHICAGO, July 9.— Detroit defeated
Chicago today. Detroit bunched their
hits in the seventh and with a sacrifice
and an error made their tally. Mullen
pitched in fine form. Attendance, 10,600.
Score;
Chlcap V4 E i
Detroit i I i
llatterles-Wblte and Sullivan; Mullen
Gold I.rur Frame*
Make your old pictures new by havinr
them appropriately refrained—the lartEeHt
line to n«lect from. Lowtsat price*. !*«.
gliding and rejMilr work a specialty, store
closed 13:30 Saturdays. Banborn, Vail &
Co.. 387 South Broadway* : .
LO3 ANGELES HERALD j MONDAY MORNING, JULY to, 1905.
WILLIAM PROLL, SECOND BASEMAN OF THE VISITING TEAM
PARALYZED CHINAMAN IS
DEAN OF COUNTY'S WARDS
IS FINISHING TWELFTH YEAR INI
HOSPITAL
Ah How Is Expert Wood Carver and
Saves Money Raised by Sales of
Fancy Articles to Provide for
Himself When He Leaves
After twelve years of contentment,
Ah How, better known among the
nurses and physicians at the county
hospital aa Charley, has expressed a
desire to leave the public Institution
and return to his friends in China
town.
A history card, grown yellow with
time, hangs over the head of Charley's
bed and tells the story of an accident
which occurred on December 31, 1893,
when the Chinaman was so severely in
jured that he has since been paralyzed
in the lower limbs.
Each day, when asked If he wished
to leave the hospital, the same reply
was received by the physicians, thnt
he was perfectly contented to stay
where he was, but last. Friday, much
to the, surprise of the nurses and doc
tors, he expresses the desire to leave
the confines of the public institution
where he has spent so many years.
. Charley Is busily preparing to raise
sufficient funds to take him away from
the hospital. All day long he sits In
the sun on the veranda and carves
away on knotty pieces of wood, slowly
carving fantastic briar pipes and unique
razor handles.
No amount of persuasion will lead
him to tell the cause of his sudden
change of mind. He sits cheerfully
carving away with a smile on his face,
willingly answering every question put
to him until mention of his contem
plated departure is made, when a sud
den silence seizes him.
He is fifty years old and has spent
nearly one-fourth of his life in the
county hospital. He Is well educated
and speaks excellent English. He de
lights to tell of the nurses and phy
sicians who have come and gone since
he went to the Institution, and will
talk by the hour of the happenings
of the last decade at the hospital.
Whether Charley's determination to
leave the hospital is but a passing
fancy, is a question that the attending
physician is unable to solve, but his
sudden change of mind has at least
caused some interest among the friends
who have known him for years.
Charley has no difficulty in disposing
of his' wares, as he has proven himself
an artisan, of no mean ability, and if
he continues in bis determination, it
will be only a short time until he will
have sufficient funds to leave his little
bed in the Chinese ward forever and
the county hospital will have lost Its
oldest patient.
MINOR BASEBALL
The Home Ice company ball blnglers
won a double victory yesterday by de
feating the Pirates and the Hlnes &
Gentry teams in rather handy fashion.
They met the Pirates on the Seventh
street grounds and annexed the long
end of a 2 to 0 score. Whalen and
Whalen formed the battery for the
winning aggregation and Black and
Mockler for the Pirates.
In their second game the icemen
hooked up with the Hlnes &. Gentry
diamond artists and won their second
victory by trouncing the opposition 11
to 1. Roeger and Whalen formed the
battery in the last game and Bressine
and Lyons divided the honors for the
Hlnes & Gentry team.
The Morgan Oyster company baseball
squad defeated the Morans yesterday
by a score of 9to 6. Both teams played
snappy ball and will probably come
together again in the near future.
ONE-ARMED PITCHER IS
HERO OF BASEBALL GAME
The Johnson Machine works em
ployes defeated the American Engin
eering Foundry Co. team at baseball
by the score of 5 to 3 yesterday after
noon at the county hospital grounds.
The feature of the game was the pitch
ing of George Fly, the one-armed pit
cher, for the Johnson's. '
TIDE TABLE FOR SAN PEDRO
Date. — P'eh — Low
r, ,» A> . M - PM - AM - P - M
July 10 3:31 4:24 9:17 11:10
July 11 5:04 6:17 10:18
July 12 6:22 6:08 12:17 ' ....
July 12 .... 11:16 "*'
July 13 7:25 6:53 1:12 12:08
July 14 8:19 7:36 1:68 1:00
July 15 9:05 8:18 . 2:41 im
July 16 9:43 8:58 3.23 2:>3
July 17 10:28 0:38 8.59 8.12
July 18 l:0» 10:18 4:35 3:07
July 19. 11:52 10:58 6:12 4 48
Ju y 20. 12:33 6:44 5:33
July -20 11:32
July 21 1:14 6:15 6:33
July 22 12:09 1:69 6:47 7:47
July 23 .13:51 2:62 7:20 9:24
Juy 24 2:03 8:46 8:01 11:06
July 25 3:46 4:38 8:01 ' ....
July 26 5:19 6:24 13:04
July 26 .... 10:03 ....
July 27 6:30 6:06 12:38
July 27 .... . U.-03 ....
July 28 7:23 6:46 1:13
July 28 11:66
July 29 S:O6 7:24 1:49 12:14
July 30 8:44 8:M 2:21 1:27
July 81 9:22 8:44 2:57 2:10
-„■ . » , «
Do Not Nritlrct the Children
At this season of the year the first
unnatural looseness of a child's bowels
should have immediate attention. The
best thing that can be given is Cham
berlain's Collo, • Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy followed by caster . oil as di
rected, with: each bottle of the remedy,
Vor sale by all leading druggists. J
DOUBLE VICTORY
FOR THE ANGELS
CAPTURE TWO GAMES FROM
ATHENIANS
GOODWIN AND TOZER PITCH
Morleylte Twlrlers In Good Form and
Locals Win Third Successive Dou
ble Header — Spies Swings
Big Stick
Special to The Hertld.
SAN FRANCISCO, July 9.— The
Angels took their third consecutive
double-header today, winning the morn-
Ing game from Oakland by 7 to 2 and
in the afternoon by 5 to 4. Ooodwln
and Hogan were the opposing pitchers
in the morning and Tozer and Iberg in
the afternoon. Hogan was hammered
hard, but Goodwin seemed to have the
Commuters in submission at all times.
The afternoon game was rather slow
and uninteresting. The Commuters
made a desperate finish in their half of
the ninth, but Tozer was too much for
them and held them safe. A week ago
the bleachers were yelling "Back to the
kennel, Towser," but today he got the
glad hand from grandstand and bleach
ers alike each time he came to bat.
Flood hurt his hand in the second, but
refused to retire, and ns a consequence
fumbled about everything that came
his way. Spies connected safely with
three of Iberg's floaters out of four
times up.
The Angels got two In the first with
out a hit, another In the fourth oh hits
by Brashear, Spies and Egar and two
more In the fifth on' safe singles "py
Bernard, Flood and Dillon. Oakland
took one In the first, when Francks got
in the way of a wide curve, two stolen
bases and Kelly's sacrifice, another in
the sixth on hits by Dunleavy and
Moskiman, their third in the eighth on
three successive drives through Flood,
and Francks came in in the ninth on
two hits and an out, and there the
game stopped.
The scores:
Morning Game
LOS ANGELES.
ABRBHSBPOA E
Bernard, cf 6 1112 0 0
Flood, 2b 5 13 13 0 0
Smith, 3b 4 10 0 0 6 0
Dillon, lb 5 1 1 0 10 1 0
Brashear, ss 3 110 2 2 1
Ross. If 4 1113 0 0
Spies, rf 6 0 2 10 1 0
Eager, c 4 0 2 0 3 2 1
Goodwin, p 4 1 1 0110
Totals ..39 1 12 1 27 H ~2
OAKLAND.
AB RBHSB PO A E
Van Haltren, cf .... 2 0 10 2 0 0
Francks, ss 3.0 1 0 1 3 0
Kelley, 2b 4 110 2 5 2
Dunleavy, If 4 0 0 0 2 0 1
Kruger, rf 3 0 10 8 0 1
Moskiman, lb 2 0 1 1 13 0 0
Devereaux, 3b 4 0 0 0 0 2 0
Stanley, c 4 0 0 0 3 1 0
Hogan, p 3 110 12 0
Totals 29 2 6 1 27 13 4
RUNS AND HITS BY INNINGS.
Los Angeles 010100113—7
Base hits 03011022 3—12
Oakland 100000010—2
Base hits 111001110—6
SUMMARY.
Two-base hits— Kelley, Eager, Van Halt
ren, Bernard. Sacrifice hits— Ross, Brash
ear. First base on errors— Los Angeles. 1;
Oakland, 1. First base on called balls-
Oft Goodwin, 3; off Hogan, 2. Left on
bases— Los Angeles, 8; Oakland, 6. Struck
out— By Goodwin, 1; by Hogan, 3. Hit by
pitcher— Kruker, Moskiman. Double
plays— Smith to Brashear to Dillon; Smith
to Dillon to Eager Passed ball— Stanley.
Wild pitch— Goodwin. Time— l:ss. Umpire
— Perrine.
Afternon Game
LOS ANGELES.
ABRBHSBPOA B
Bernard, cf 3 2 10 10 0
Flood. 2b 3 2 10 12 2
Smith, 3b 3 0 0 0 0 10
Dillon, lb 3 1 2 0 13 1 0
Brashear, ss -. 3 0 10 14 0
Ross, If 4 0 10 1O 0
Spies, rf 4 0 3 18 0 0
Eager, c 4 0 10 6 1 1
Tozer, p 4 0 0 0 1 2 0
Totals 31 1 10 1 27 11 1
Oakland;
ab rbhsb po a b
Van Haltren, cf 6 1.10 3 1 0
Francks, as 4 12 3 2 4 0
Kelley, 2b 5 0 0 0 13 0
Dunleavy, If 6 110 10 0
Kruger, rf 4 10 0 10 0
Moskiman, lb 3 0 2 0 13 0 1
Devereaux, 3b 3 0 2 10 10
Byrnes, c 4 0 115 2 0
There, p 3 0 0 0 1 6 0
Stanley. * 10 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 37 11 1 27 17 1
• Stanley batted for Iberg in ninth.
RUNS .AND HITS BY INNINGS.
Los Angeles ....20012000 o—s
Base hitß 0003 3. 102 I—lo
Oakland 1 000010 1 I—4
Base hits 01011202 2—9
SUMMARY.
Two-base hits— Ross, Van Haltren. Sac
rifice hits— Smith. Dillon, Brashear. First
base on errors — Lor Angeles, 1; Oakland, 2.
First base on called balls— Off Tozer, 2;
oft Iberg, 2. Left on bases— Los Angeles,
2; Oakland, 9. Struck out— By Tozer, o: by
Iberg, 4. Hit by pitcher— Francks. Dou
ble play— Devereaux to Francks to Moski
man. Passed ball— Byrnes. Time— l:6s.
Umpire— Perrlne.
SMASHES TROUNCED
AGAIN BY PORTLAND
By Associated Press.
SEATTLE. July 9.— The locals played
a miserably poor game In the field to
day and Portland won easily. Fitsspat
rlck was not hit much- harder than Ks
slck, but the latter was effective with
men on' bases and only one tally was
scored by the Seattle aggregation. In
terest in baseball seems to be reawak
ening In Seattle and the size of the
crowds Is increasing. Score:
It. H. B.
Seattle 00000010 o—l 6 7
Portland ... 11001010 4—B 8 3
Batteries— Kltzpatrlck and Dash wood;
Esslck and McLean. Umpire— Bray.
TACOMA TIGERS TAKE
TWO FROM THE SEALS
By Associated Pr«M.
TACOMA, July 9.— Tucoma took two
games from ■ San Francisco today. , In
both contests the visitors took the lead,
but the home team fought against odds
and won out. In the morning there was
H . ■ y<
1 Talking \j^% <
I Machines .pp-j3IJ I
3$ Do You Know All About the (
| Offer<C j
§ Now Being Made by the Los Angeles Record (
S A Free Talk-O-Phone I
(S£ Come and We Will Explain, or Sec Their Advertisement (j
0 £ , g== We Are Agents for the £=?- (
i "Talk-O-Phone" and "Victor" I
2 Southern California Music Co. \
<I$ V 332-334 South Broadway / (
®V / i
■r^—lL. __ ■ll& M . Every mother feels a
IS2lil.lß Silßll^ great <lrcad of the pain
li mm I 1 H H It? H EM d and danger attendant upon
MJ^HUB/Uil If QI3HH N^ the most critical period
kJP of her life. Becoming,
a mother 6hould be a source of joy to all, but the suffering and, -
danger incident to the ordeal makes its anticipation one of misery..,
Mother's Friend is the only remedy which relieves women of the great , j
pain and danger of maternity ; this hour which is dreaded as woman's
severest trial is not only made painless, but all the danger is avoided
by its use. Those who use this remedy are no longer despondent or, ,
gloomy; nervousness, nausea and other distressing conditions are ,
overcome, the system is made ready for the coming event, and the ;
serious accidents so common to the critical
hour are obviated, by the use of Mother's Dfl jfkltErfeA|rk9af> '
Friend. "It is worth its weight in gold," [fgHBH JHtTIT
says many who have used it. $i.oo per ifHvflHHwl w
bottle at drug stores. Book containing I* •■'"
valuable information of interest to all women, will BCn\3 /knTfcifl
be sent to any address free upon application to IT H HH|||f| '
BRADFIELD REGULATOR 00., Atlanta, fia. SI 1 IVll\l
much wrangling, Graham and Goch
nauer being fined and put out of the
game. Lynch's steal home was the fea
ture. In the afternoon Thomas was
hit harder than Hltt but Tacoma took
advantage of San Francisco's costly
errors at critical times. Score:
Morning game—
R. H. E.
San Fran... 100400000-6 9 2
Tacoma ....020 2 0020 x— 6 13 3
Batteries— Henley and Shea; Fitzgerald
and Hozan.
Afternoon game—
R. H. B.
San Fran... 200 00000 o—2 9 5
Tacoma .... 001 00120 x-4 6 1
Batteries— Hltt and "Wilson; Thomas and
Oraham. Umpire — Davis.
TYPEWRITER GIRL
DIDN'T LIKE HIM
DIALOGUE THAT INCLUDED AN
INVITATION
When the Mall Order Superintendent
Found Out That the Stenographer
Pined for Company He Changed
His Mind
From the Chicago News.
"I don't see how you make your fin
gers go so fast," said the young mall
order superintendent to the young wo
man stenographer as she stopped to
make an erasure.
"It's quite easy to make your fingers
go," said the stenographer, pointedly.
"You make mistakes, though, I see."
"I'm but human. If I .never made a
mistake I might qualify for your job."
"But you're doing good work, on the
whole," said the mail order superin
tendent, patronizingly.
"You'll get me all puffed up If you
talk like that? Kind words can' never
die, can they? Scatter a few of them
over the office toy. He'd appreciate
'em."
"I didn't mean to offend you," said
the young man.
"You couldn't," she retorted calmly,
and resumed her letter. The mail or
der superintendent lingered until she
had completed it.
"I heard a joke the other day about a
stenographer who ' married her boss."
he said. "Before they were married he
dictated to her and after—"
The stenographer rapped briskly on
the bell of her machine with her pencil.
"You've heard It, have you?"
"Not for some years. Isn't much
business in your department this morn
ing. Is there?"
"Do' you want me to go?"
"It doesn't make much difference tc
me," said the stendgrapher. "If you
didn't talk or get In my light I wouldn't
know that you were here."
"Well, If you don't want me to go I
guess I'll stay. I like to watch you."
"No extra charge," said the stenogra
pher. "I'm on exhibition from 8 till 6."
"Where do you go to lunch?" .
"Sometimes to one place, but I often
go somewhere else for a change. Where
do you get shaved?"
"I shave myself."
"Do you ever talk to yourself? If
you don't you might go away some
where and try it some time. I don't
think you'd learn anything, but I'm
sure you'd appreciate your conversation
more than som« other people do."
"You're pretty sassy, aren't you?"
"I'm juet an cute as I can be, but I'm
not sassy. Were you going to ask me
to take lunch with you?"
"I was thinking of It."
"You've got . another think coming.
You'd better brace . yourself for the
strain, i You're new to tt."
' "Then you won't come?"
"Would you order blue polntB?"
"Sure.'!
, ."Anything I wanted to order?"
"Certainly." ',
'■ "And any -place I wanted to go?"
■_ .■•.... . ■■ ..'■
Pale and QzjCJ2%Z Bavarlan
On Draught at
Jos. Melczer & Co. 141*147 S. Main
The mall order superintendent hesln
tated. "Where do you want to go?"
he asked. .
"I'll see where my aunt wants to go,"
said the stenographer. "She's more
particular than I am. You wouldn't
mind if I invited some one else, would
you?" i
"What do you want Some one else
for?" " '."■"''■■■.' T . ■"'';.'
"To talk to me while you talk 1 to
auntie," replied the stenographer. "Be- 1
sides, he wouldn't like it if I went with-" 1
out him."
"I guess we'll call it off," said the
mail order superintendent as he moved'
away. - -3
Hurrying Hatching
Even the incubator is not regarded
as sufficiently advanced in these days.
An English resident of China has per- :
fected a device for hatching eggs within
an hour. • '-;.v
The egg is placed in a chamber filled I
with compressed air and warmed to a
certain point, and is there revolved by.'
a clockwork attachment. At the end
of three-quarters of an hour the eggs
begin to hatch and the entire batch is
ready for the brooder. ;
According to the inventor the' proper
compression, temperature and rate t of
speed of the revolutions combine : ,td
bring about the desired result, and un
less these ' three factors are properly;
determined a scrambled egg is more
likely to result than a chicken. ; ; {■ ,
Owing to the present difficulty in ad-,
justing these three points the Incubator
will not be placed upon the market for
a, time. . Possibly by then 1 a forcing
brooder will turn out genuine . "spring**,
chickens In twenty-four hours..
Sentence Sermons
Modesty is a mark of might .'*. - •■ ■
It is easy to call our impulses Ilia
inspiration. •
Faith builds no fences between "US'
and our fellows. , , ,- ..'
Men need new hearts more than
stronger harness. .... ■.-...-.
Envying another's cake only spoils,
our own cookies.
Men who intend to be good tomorrow
always die today. ■
Life is all song when one lives in
harmony with the Infinite. \ '■.
God waits for ub somewhere on cv»
cry pathway of pain. •
■ The fragrance of a life depends "on.
the fullness of its love. '~~FimZM
The heart gains no rest through the
gold cross carried on the breast. -''■
It's no use agonizing in prayer for
the light when you keep the shutters
locked.
The more haste men make for hap
piness the Übs acquaintance they -set'
with it.
Heaven has feasts for home coming
wanderers but not so much as a hand
out for the tramp.
The best friend is not one who
gives us most cold cash, but tho one
who imparts most warm cheer. — Henry
F. Cope, in Chicago Tribune. • ■:
Undelivered Telegrams
There are undelivered telegrams at tho
ofnee of the Western Union Telegraph
company for Francisea V. Fontes, H. C.
Brown, 01ms. Boone, Dr. K. Loder, Sus
slo Chattom, Mrs. Geo. 11. King, N. Glass,
A. Simon, H. K. Hardy, Mltw C. 11. Wold.:
Harry it. Chase. Mrs. I. S. Watson, U. A.
Hullo, Dr. C. li. Pinkham, Collins ■ Hoi
comb, James C. Falrchllds, Edward
Brady, 11. P. Ward, Mrs. Ferelne, J. M.
Ledgerwood, Ethelyn Lord.
There are undelivered telegrams at the
Postal Telegraph company, , 238 South
Spring street, for (!. V. I'urulto, A. L>.
Castle, Thos. C. Kurt*, Alma Heyn. \y
The Rev. Edward Uunbur, who wroto
the old Sunday school sung, "There 1b a
Light in the Window for Thee, Bro-i
ther," sleeps in a pauper's , grave at
Coffeyvllle, Kas., where he died a
tramp in the town Jail twelve years
ago. ■
An Arabic translation of Homer's
"Iliad" has been published at Cairo by
Bulelman Vlntu.ul, a Moliainmod«m" stu
dent at i Khartoum college. Moslem
circles have received it enthusiasti
cally,
