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LOS ANGELES DAILY HERAIR
BY THS MKRAI.D COMPANY.
fit't'VK O. PIKMT«O» .••■><• ,rr«M»t
Hour. m. y05r.............. < '......««.G«>«rai ttaaas**
' OLDEST MOKNINO PAPER Iti LOS ANOTCt.K9. '
reuntfed Oct. 8, 1873. Thlrty-aecond Year.
Chamber of Commerce Bulldlnjj.
TBtjßt'TipNK3*-flun»at. Press 11, Home, Th» ftefald.
OFPICtAt PAPER OF LOS ANGKLKS
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■■■ *HB HERAMJ IN BAN FRXNCIBCO-Loa Anvelea and
IwUttMrn California visitors to San Francisco will find The
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Ati News Co.. ft. P. F>rry. and on the streeta by Wheatle/.
THE HERALD'S CITY CIRCULATION
' The Herald's circulation In the city of Lea Angela*
la iaroer than that of. tha Examiner or tho Express
M 4 Mcond only to that of the Tlm«a.
Population of Los Angeles 201.249
, That was a ridiculous failure of the automobile man
who tried to beat a train in a race from Carson to Sac
ramento. It is safe to say that many a tramp has beat
ft train on that line.
: , A Minneapolis man shot himself to death in . his
church petr on Sunday at the conclusion off the sermon.
It must have been a terribly bad effort that would drive
a man to immediate suicide.'
The latest ' development of opportunities for women
In these parts was disclosed by the arrest of two women
last Sunday at widely distant localities in the city on
the charge of operating "blind piggeries."
I On Sunday a man who had a narrow escape from
drowning while bathing at the Santa Monica beach re
fused even to thank his rescuers. But the man knew
best whether the preservation of his life was worth a'
thank. '
■ Boss Shonts of the Panama canal job is on his native
Heath again talking about the snap from which 'he draws
a salary of about $100 a day, plus perquisites. -Shonts is
an able talker, but as a dirt sllnger he has been a flat
failure bo far.
Every man who is familiar with one feature of the
czar's domestic experience will deeply sympathize with
him now. A simultaneous crisis in Portsmouth and a
cry bub in St. Petersburg are enough to drive even an
emperor to distraction.
I A dispatch from Shanghai says "an Imperial edict
discloses that telephones and wireless telegraph
throughout. China are government monopolies." There
are times when the telephone in this country shows
signs of China management. . '
In the divorce case of a couple named Trout an
Ohio court decided that the refusal of the wife to stay
at home nights and to cook her husband's meals Justi
fied' a divorce. The woman seemed to think her duty
was done when she landed her Trout.
One official of the United States assay office at Seat
tle estimates that the gold output of Nome this year will
reach $10,000,000, about one-third more than the figure
for last year. And think of the total cost of Alaska to
the United States in 1867— 57,200,000.
A recent bulletin from the federal census office shows
that in the larger cities of the United States about
four-fifths of the school teachers are women. The school
room man with the twig or ruler, more or less dear
to the hearts of youth a generation or two ago, has gone
to his deserts. .
; The anthracite coal miners of Pennsylvania are very
considerate this time in making a demand upon their
employers. They defer the date for the demand to. take
effect until next April. Eastern coal consumers will be
able to pull through next summer without freezing even
If the mines are closed.
■ The yellow fever at New Orleans is stubbornly re
sisting efforts' to stamp it out. The highest number
of deaths for a single day, as reported on Sunday, Is
not encouraging. Warm weather, unforunately, is favor
able to "the spread of the disease, but the medical au
thorities in charge are confident of controlling it very
soon.
People up in Oregon must have thought the solar
eclipse had got off its scheduled track and called on
them ahead of time. One point reports that the town
■was "so shrouded in darkness for ten minutes that it
was impossible to distinguish objects five feet distant."
It is not stated whether this occurred in a temperance
community.
. It Is noteworthy that the piece of property credited
with making two or three moderate fortunes lately by
change In ownership is called "Gray Gables." That is
the name of former President Cleveland's seaside resi
dence. There may be luck in a name associated with a
man who won two out of three races for president of
the United States.
What might be called a strike in the kindergarten
class Is reported from San Francisco. The choir boys
In a prominent church are associated In a union, after
the adult style, and they "struck" because certain mem
bers were suspended from the choir for cause. This
strike in the infant class will serve to fill In the time
between greater events of the kind in San Francisco.
Massachusetts is agitated over the question of "race
suicide." In order to get bottom facts the state census
enumerators are instructed to "ask questions of every
married woman In the state calculated to show whether
race suicide Is the actual or merely the apparent out
growth of present conditions." It Is presumed the
enumerators will take precautions In the way of life
and accident insurance.
Two or three real summer days, with hot sun rays
rapidly vaporizing water in city reservoirs, and then
we have the warning that "should the hot wave con
tinue it will be necessary to stop street sprinkling."
This. because of the city's short supply of water, with
tvery available resource In use. Note that object lesson
and remember that tho' water bond elect lou will occur
September. 7.
LOS ANGELES HERALD* TUESDAY MORNING, AUGUST so, 1905.
WORKERS HAVE. MOST AT STAKB
.: A statement wotthy of thougtitfnf pondering by < all
tiltl*«n« of Los Angeles wM made recently by Superin
tendent Mulholland of tho water* department tt was to
thft effect that he "had been eal led ofl by a walking dele
gftt« of the CArpentcri)' union, who stated that the union
.'la opposing the acquisition of Owerii fiver water." The
superintendent's relponsO ws« that "If the carpenters
succeeded In defeating the purohsia of the Water there
would be no earpsnters' union left In tha city, m build'
Ing would oorne to a eudden end." ■''•'',/:]
No sagacious observer can doubt that a deadly blow
to the growth of Lot Angeles would bo delivered by a
defeat of the water proposition, The acceptance or re
jection of that proposition will be determined Thurs
day of next week. Assuming for thh moment that a
majority of rotea will rejnot th« project by voting
against the bond Issue, wh&t 'will bo the logical conse
quence? ' . '■■'■ ;i V' V; "
Every person who has given 1 Intelligent consideration
Id the subject knows that Los Angeles now la draining
its available wator resourced to the bottom. Geologists,
civlt englneers,,practlcal water developers and all other
competent to express an opinion on tha subject declare
that Los Angeles has* reached tha limit of it* water pos
sibilities except by the last retort now provided for In
the Owens valley proposition. ' ' .
Defeat the bond issue intended to clinch the water
shed purchase in that valley and what then? Los An
gelea will have attained Its maturity— lts full stature.
It Jb ns Impossible for this city to grow bigger without
more water as it is for b youth to grow without more
blood. A stunted and dwarfed Los Angelea, wlthbut
ample water for Us Increasing population, Is Inevitable.
Where would the Carpenters' union and all the other
building trade unions be in such ah eventuality? Capi
tal would cease to flow into new buildings, the purchase
of* undeveloped property Wduld end and a reaction in
property values would set In. Not only would there
be no work In the building trades,' but the value of every
home In the city would depreciate, ft la the future prom
ise of a steadily expanding city, under the most favor
able circumstances in every respect, that now is en
hancing the value of all real property and making all
owners of homes richer thereby.',. '.
The manual workers of this v city, In the building
trades and all other vocations', have, a more vital in
terest than any other class of cltliens in clinching the
greater water proposition. , Not. only the prospect for
employment, but the value' of every home owned or
bargained for is directly associated with the issue in
that election nert week. If the -bond election should
fall, and Los Angeles come to the inevitable standstill
in that case, the thousands Of cosj\ homes owned by
workers or in process of . paymenfwould decrease rap
idly in value and the hardest of hard times would con
front a large" element of the "city's population.
" The manual worker has another direct incentive for
favoring the water proposition In the fact that at least
120,000,000 will be expended ■ by the city, mostly for
labor, in - constructing the : greater water plant. The
workers will receive the lion's share of that vast sum.
To assume that the voters Of Los Angeles are likely
to, vote against the water proposition would be equiva
lent to saying they think the city has reached the limit
of its usefulness and that, with thanks to Dr. Osier
for hi* idea, it ought to, be chloroformed.
RETRENCHMENT IS PjOT FATAL
"It does a city good to get a, checking up once in
a while," ia the tersely expressed Judgment of a city
cduncllman, as reported . In The Herald. The remark
related to the slashing of department estimates, to
which the councilman in question contributed an ax
and a- brawny arm in his capacity, as head of the finance
committee of the council. ■ ;
',• Councilman Smith, thus alluded to, thinks none of
the departments will suffer necessarily because of the
reduced- appropriations. He says the city is "like one
great family," and that It should live within its income
in business-like fashion. The necessity for economy
will result in more effective work and greater care in
expenditures in the Judgment of this councilmanic "man
with the ax."
Frequent examples in every-day life are seen of bene
ficial results following enforced 'economy. Men are apt
to expand their expenses in proportion as their incomes
increase. As the councilman before cited puts it: "Now
take a man who has been making $1000 a year, and he
manages to live on iti and to enjoy life and keep within
vis income and even save a little. Perhaps he prospers
and gradually gets where he can spend $6000 a year and
he lives up to that." Then comes a Jolt and the man is
forced to retrench. "Perhaps he has to go back to that
$1000.' It is killing at first, but he finds he can do it."
There is meat enough for a lecture on both domestic
and municipal economy ,in that report of Councilman
Smith's observations, as printed in The Herald. The
very fact that it is possible for either a family or a
city to survive the jar of sudden curtailment of In
come and to get along comfortably on a more economical
basis shows how easy it Is to save money in ordinary
circumstances. ' .- • ••- .
In time of prosperity prepare for adversity.
NO ORANGE COMPETITOR
In the course of a communication relative to the ex.
orbitant retail prices for fruit in this city, as revealed
by. The Herald, the writer says: "Owing to the won
derfully productive soil in Cuba and the minimum cost
of freight from that point to New v York and New Or
leans, and the hundreds of thousands of acres of fruit
which is being put out by 1 scores of corporations, each
representing millions, it will be "almost Impossible for
California to stand BUch competition.",
All that remains to be tested. Cuba is an extremely
fertile island, but its products .are' almost unknown
commercially outside the linos of sugar and tobacco.
Whether the soil and climate are well adapted to the
production of : fruits and vegetables suitable for the
American market is questionable. ' No attempt at such
production has been attempted on a considerable scale,
except in the orange business.
Twenty years or more ago, before the . California
orange had become a . factor in the eastern markets,
and when the Florida product »#as meager, , Cuba or
anges were shipped to New York In considerable quan
tities. But they were of greatly inferior quality com
pared with the present California and Florida fruit.
They were small, thin-skinned, full of seeds and ex
tremely perishable. ' ; ♦ •
The humid atmosphere Of Cuba,' the frequent rains
at unfavorable poriods and the terrific hurricanes that
visit the island make it certain that Cuba never can be
• formidable competitor In orange culture with Callfor
nla or even with .Florida! 'Southern* California seems
to be the only spot on. earth* where all conditions com
bine to make the ideal land of the orange.
That Chinese boycott is working in the Celestial em
pire very much as • it. does <Ju the United. States— ln
boomerang fashion. Tho accumulation of goods as a re
sult of the American boycott in, tt>« Chinese ports' is
threatening 'g> financial panic. Even j a Chinaman should
know better than to monkey with /» redhot poker.
RED LETTER NIGHT
AT THE BELASCO
"RICHELIEU" PUT ON FOR
FIRST ANNIVERSARY
BARNUM IN THE TITLE ROLE
Brilliant Performance of Famoua Play
•hows Strength of stock Com*
party— Souvenir* for
the Audience
.—. — "—" — •" • ■ ■ . t
The BelascO theater stock company
last evening opened the second year of
Its existence with a magnificent per
formance of Lord Lytton's "Richelieu."
George Barnum In the title role. The
production of such a classic at a stock
house with only one week's rehearsal
and the interpretation of a role asso
ciated with the greatest. names of the
English and American stage made this
opening an ordeal for Mr. Barnum and
one through which he came with flying
colon.
It was Mr. Barnum'* evening. He
carried the play on his shoulders as ta
necessary for one In the role of Riche
lieu and he made every point, which
the great. cardinal wins In his political
game, strike Into the hearts of the
audience with remarkable force. The
role stands highest In the brilliant rec
ord of the Los Angeles achievements
of this actor.
Adds to His Achievements
The first night nervousness Increased
some of the Barnum mannerisms to a
certain extent. He often failed to con
vey an adequate sense of power by
shaking his finger or his hand too vio
lently either at the cardinal's enemies
on the stage or at the audience. He
exhausted his reserve force In several
instances. But these are minor faults
and the virtues of his performance
would give him high rank among tho
actors of the country, if he were not
already possessed of such a position.
The points to be brought out In the
character of the cardinal are his cun
ning, his courage, his vanity and his
terrific power and these were conveyed
in a virile and Illuminating fashion.
His appearance gave the famous char
acter verisimilitude. ,-•■.. ■
Not only for the finished execution
of his own role but for most of the rest
of the play is the credit due to George
Barnum. He directed the rehearsals
In which he shaped the company until
the members work together perfectly.
The scenic effects were brought to a
high standard and for this also Is Mr.
Barnum responsible.
Support Is Strong
Among the supporting company there
stood out most prominently Thomas
Oberle, Joseph Galbralth and Richard
Vivian. Mr. Oberle brought out the
role of Barradas with force and hU
personality saved many a scene from
sinking to nothing for lack of contrast
with the leading character. Mr. Gal
bralth displayed his usual pulchritude
to excellent advantage in the costume
clothes. His acting was marred by too
much swashbuckling. Richard Vivian
itld not allow his ambition to overreach
i.v mark and his performance was clean
and effective. . * • . .
The others of the cast fitted well Into
the picture. Miss Lemmert. who playc.l
the leading woman's role, was handi
capped by bad news, In addition to
first night nervousness, but her role of
Julie was well sustained. She dis
tinguished the part with a gracefulness
and charming personality.
In commemoration of the first annl
verßary week handsome souvenir pro
grams were given to the women of tho
r.udlence. They gave besides a list of
plays which have been presented at this
theater during the year excellent half
tone cuts and the autographs of the
ylayers of the company. ' ' ■
Orpheum
Attractions from last week's program
are features of the new bill for the
Orpheum and Edmund Day's Arizona
sketch and the witticisms of James J,
Morton, the fellow of Infinite jest, still
prove most popular with the audiences.
The new bill, however, has some re
markably ; attractive features, one of
which is "The Queen's Fan." The act
Is one of delicate grace and beauty,
rarely seen. on a vaudeville stage and
the playlet of one of the most fanciful
of French legends proved moat attrac
tive. -
Miss Josephine Alnsley, singing com
edienne; Jacobs' dogs, „. Col. Oaston
Bordeverry, with his crack shooting;
August 29 in the World's History
X 284— Era of Diocletian (or . the martyrs) commenced, still used by the
X Copti and Abysßlnlans. n received Its name from the persecution
v . of the Christiana In the reign of Diocletian, and was much used by
• the Christian writers until the introduction of the Christian era In
i> . the sUth century. '
" 1350 — Great naval battle in the English channel, off Wlnchelsea, be
.,. ', tween the English under Edward 111 and the mariners of Biscay,
. . 1692— C01; Benjamin Fletcher arrived at the port of New York with a
;; commission as governor of the province, which he published the
. i . next day, ■
■ ' 1776— Americans retreated from Long Island. ' Mlfflln commanded the
', ! rear guard, with whom Washington remained until the retreat was
• > ■ effected, The army amounted to 9000.
' ' 1778— The rear of the American army under General Sullivan attacked
! ! by the British, who were replused. . /
• • 1779 — The Indians defeated by Sullivan at Klmlra.
]| jgo4 — Commodore Treble's attack on Tripoli.
■ I 1851 — Lopes, who had invadud Cuba with American volunteers, after
< ' sixteen days of reverses and having lost nearly all his followers,
; | was captured in tha mountains by the aid of bloodhounds.
< i 1851— A convention of twenty-five delegates assembled in .Lewis county,
• ' < Oregon, and appointed a committee to prepare a memorial to con
', ', grass to procure a division of. the territory and the organization of
• • a separate territorial government. . ... .... , , .
CAPTAIN OF BASKET BALL TEAM TO ATTEND VASSAR
MIS 3 CLEME GRIPFEN
Miss Cleme Grlffen, captain of the
basketball team of the high school for
the past three years and one of the
most popular and accomplished young
woman with an enviable record on the
ear this year.
Miss Orlrten Is the daughter of Mrs.
Georgina B. Grlffen and is a young
women with an enviable record on the
basketball courts of, Southern Cali
fornia.
the Yankee Doodle boys and motion
pictures form the remaining attractions
of one of the best programs given by
the Orpheum for some time past.
Fischer's Theater
Another success marked the Initial
performance of the new bill at Fisch
er's theater last night and the crowd
that packed the house applauded
"Breaking the Bank", from the rise to
the fall of the curtain. The piece
proved to be one of the funniest farces
yet presented by the stock company
and proves Harry James' ability as a
writer of musical comedies. The play
is replete with good comedy situations,
pretty musical numbers - and catchy
specialties, with handsome costumes,
and appropriate stage settings add . to
the completeness of the production. The
vaudeville part of the program con
tains some excellent features this week,
Including Dußols, a clever illusionist,
George W. Leslie, comedian, and new
motion pictures.
WHY HE WAS TIRED
Smith Murder Case Was a Severe
Oratorical Test
"There are tricks In every trade,"
said E. K. Simmers of Shamoktn.
"There are tricks In bronco-busting,
tricks in surgery, tricks In'the law."
Mr. Simmers was lunchincr In a
Washington restaurant He had Just
come from the White House, where he
had been calling on the president. It
was Mr. Simmers, years ago, who
taught the young and ' Inexperienced
Theodore Roosevelt the cowboy's art.
Hence he Is today the president's warm
friend.
"Yes," he resumed, "there are tricks
In every trade. Take the trade of a
lawyer, for Instance. Did you ever
wonder why lawyers make such long
speeches— speeches a day long, two
days long, and even three days long?
"I used to wonder about- this matter
myself. One night a lawyer accidental
ly explained It to me. We were taking
a walk together and he said:
" 'I'm tired •to death. I'm simply
tired to death." '■■ .
" 'Why are you so tired V said I.
" 'On- ■ account of the Smith murder
case,' he said, a little Impatiently.
'You knew I was conducting that case,
didn't you?' •
" 'Oh, yes, I knew It,* I admitted.
'But I don't see what there Is In that
to'tlre you.'
" 'Well, you see,' he eald, 'I am mak
ing the final speech for the defense. I
have been speaking two days now, and,
tired or not, I'll have to go on all day
tomorrow and possibly half of the next
day.' ■ '
" 'But why?' said I. 'Why so much
talk and wind? Can't you cut it short?"
" 'Not till the Jury has had time to
forget the evidence against my client,'
said the lawyer."
She is a tall girl with e> wealth of
beautiful brown hair and the general
ftlr of a healthy, happy athletic young
woman.
Miss Grlften has gone north to spend
a week at Berkeley to be followed by
another week at Stanford, and will
then go on to Vassar. While In the
northern cities she will probably have
several delightful social affairs given
in her honor.
TO PRESERVE THE BUFFALO
Efforts Are Made to Protect the Few
Remaining Herds
A pica was recently made to congress
to . preserve the few remaining herds
of buffaloes in the United States. By
maintaining several herds the govern
ment hopes to preserve this almost ex
tinct race which at one time roamed at
will over the western prairies. Most of
the herds of buffaloes now in this coun
try are private property, though' there
are a few in the Yellowstone and other
parks. Of those owned by private par
ties there are, as a rule, about sixty In
a herd, and as they are allowed to roam
at will over the farms they are prac
tically harmless, though wild.
James J. Hill of St. Faul has a large
6000-acre farm in Minnesota on which
there are about twenty buffaloes.- A
large herd is owned by Buffalo Jones of
Kansas, and Montana boasts of a herd
near Kalisplel numbering seventy-five.
Maine has a herd owned by. the Blue
Valley Forest association. These are
about all there are , of these valuable
animals, but enough to extend their
cultivation." A queer herd -of pure
bloods and half-breeds roam at will In
Missouri, and in Texas there is a herd
of small buffaloes at Goodnight.
Bits of Wisdom
We are often disappointed with what
the press agent told us was a distin
guished man. ■
Many persons are not listening — they
are asleep.
What's ten years on the shoulders of
a man who thinks! i -
The fellow who stops to explain
everything to everybody will never
reach the end of his journey.—Ameri
can Illustrated Magazine. ■
Education reduces ! the commercial
value of humbug.
How fleet Is the foot of a He!
Nothing bores an Ignorant mind like
a work of art.
Many a fellow gets a reputation that
goes farther than he can go.
Sometimes what we take for envy Is
Pity.
Make a caricature of yourself once
In a while and laugh over It.
Give me one sincere friend— you can
have all the rest— American Illustrated
Magazine.
What They Took
It is reported that on a certain occa
sion when Arthur Balfour, Joseph
Chamberlain, Lord Charles Beresford
and the Japanese minister were dining
out together, Mr, Balfour, who was
standing treat, asked Mr. Chamberlain
what he would have.
"Thanks, I'll take Scotch, Arthur,"
was the response. , ■
"And what will . you take, Lord
Charles 7" 1 • .
"I'll take Irish. Arthur."
"And what will you take?" address
ing the Japanese minister.
"I'll take Port Arthur, thanks," was
the answer,— Harper's Weekly.'
Why?
Small Ethel was spending a week in
i the country with her grandparents.
"Why can't chickens swim, grand
pa ?" she asked, as she was feeding the
poultry. :
"Because they don't . know how, I
suppose," replied tha old gentleman.
"Well," continued Ethel, "why don't
they get the ducks to teach 'em?"—
Chicago News.
End of tho Honeymoon
She— We »eem to be boring each other
already. I wonder. why?
Ha— l haven't an Idea,
She— Yes; 1 t'poae that's the reason.—
Plck-Me-Up.
Man U made of dust— other wine wo.
man would not havo much uf« (or him.
M-llnes aid Mck-nps
Knock
(With apologies most abject.)
Knock, knock, knock,
On tha t>l«.n§ for the city's Rood;
While we would that th« yellow'd ttttef.
One word that was understood!
Oh, well for Its readers few,
And -well for Iti raving* Insane;
The city goes on Its prosperous way (
White the yellow raves in vain!
The United States bureau of animal ln«
dustry ranks the milk gout Above the
cow When It comet to the William goat,
however, he makes the best butter.
Cheese it!
How's this for consistency: Mies Jester
Is clerk for Kapp it Bell's 1 dry good*
Store in Marshall, Mo.
The New York smart snt, It Is reported,
Is now. preparing .to welcome the Tag
garts to Its Inner circles, their eilgablUty
being beyond doubt,
Standard oil peddlers kick dents In their
moAsurea and thus cut patrons out of
their full allowance. Hence, that $1 In
crease In dividends, perhaps.
A boy Who stole kisses from two Phila
delphia girls was given ten days In Jail/
This was Insult added to already sufficient
penalty.
, ' ' '.-.. .' t
Plum— Have a cigar? It's not half bad.
Prune— Which half? '■'.*, ••V' 1 '. 1
A Colorado -Springs preacher . asks 1 .
"Does Qod think of us?" Yea, brother
sorrowlngly.
A Missouri man who was shot coughed
up tha bullet. He had to be shown that
he was hit. - . .^
James Hazen Hyde will now take a rent
—not "the" rest, notice.
As the Wyoming editor views It: .
"The self-appointed ' executioners of
Thermopolla Who killed Bob McCoy at
tempted to assassinate Jack Hamilton and
notified 'Cherokee Tom' and others to
go hence or be shot in the back, have ,
gone to tho seathore for the dog days..
The time for shooting 'Cherokee Tom,',.
If he didn't vamoose, is now a week In'
the dim past. Tommy Bays he is going,
to stick."
It should also be remembered that the
first recorded scandal was in the earliest
agricultural department— in Eden— and a
woman— Eve— was the cause of it. too.
A new gramaphone ' can be heard three
miles! Help! . , ;!
Don't make a mistake; it's the birth,
not the bErth, rate that's declining.
All the Rhodes will lead to Rome (N.
V.) next week. The clan holds a reunion
there. ' ' .-■■'■;;,•■-;; - .:v : ;V
Circuses have been so numerous in Kan
sas this season that ye editor is satiated
with 'em. One had to get a woman press
agent to break into print at all.'
Gov. Folk of Missouri smokes twenty
cigars a day. What he needs la to ' put "
the lid on himself, or get a smoke con* • - ■
sumer. • < . ■ ■
Because John D. Is going barefoot, don't
think It's because ha has to. It hasn't .
quite come to that. , : . .
That indemnity seems to be the real
"bones" of contention.
In and cut
'Twas when she was a school girl,. '
. I sought on her to call; ■
But mamma said: "She can't see you: .
It wouldn't do at all!" ,
And all my hopes she put to rout—
She bade me "wait till she. Is out!";
But now she Is a belle, why,
I seek to call In vain;
Her mamma says: "I'm sorry, quite—
She isn't in again!" ' ■; . '
All I can do is turn about;
She bids me "come back soon— she's out!".
When she was in, ' she wasn't ' out— lt
really was so queer!
Now she Is out, she's never In— it puzzling
is-oh. dear! _ w . H . C.
The Personal Point of View
The lunatic is always sure
That he Is not Insane;
The homely woman, too, believes
That she Is far from plain;
The hypoorite supposes he
Is not so bad at heart, \
And every dauber fancies that
He daily adds to art. ,v ;,; ' .-'■ -
The doting mother always thinks
She has a model child
And that her neighbors" girls and boys
Are terrible and wild; . ■ -.
The man who owns a savage dog
Is sure It wouldn't bite; •-■ „
The village cut-up thinks tha.t all
Of his remarks are bright.
The deacon, when he . trades his hora«
And gets a better one,
Discovers nothing sinful in
The thing that he has done; ■ r
The girl who flirts and casts the boj,
Heartsore, at last, aside .• -
Supposes she has done a thing
To justly give her pride.
The man in stripes, who eagerly
Peers through the grated door,
Thinks he is sadly sinned against ;
And trusts in men no more; ■
No bard has ever called the muse.
- To help him sweep the strings
Without supposing- he was born
TO do Homeric things.
Of all the planets that are hung
Above the deeps of space
This good green earth that you and k
Have for our dwelling place > . ■ .
Would be the richest and the best "
And merriest, by far, ■■ >
If all of Its inhabitant* .
Were what they think they are. ;
— Chicago Record-Herald.
The Financier ,
"That man over there is one of .the
greatest financiers In the country."
"Indeed! What Is ha accused off"—
Town Topics. ■ , ,
Safe
Mortgages
We haye 1 for sale-
at all times well
secured mortgages on;
city property .*. .'. ,'.
Merchants Trust. JEjbc
' 209 S. Broadway ttiktJffli
