Newspaper Page Text
LOS ANGELES HERALD
, or tub iii.n\i.n company
r iIAXK a. viyi.wsny PrvaUteat
lIORT.I IORT. M. YOST . Editorial Maamget
» . II LAVP.ftTV BtnlwM Mmmstrf
OLDEST MORNTNO PAPER IN
» <-«.it»<lert Oct. 9, 1873 TMrlr-fourlh Year.
Chamber' of Commerce HnllHI«i«
TELEPHONES — Sunset Presa 11,
Home The Herald.
The only Democratic newspaper in
Booth*™ California receiving the full
Associated Press report* j
NHWS SERVICE — Member of the A*
poclntad Press, receiving Its full re
port, averaging 2K.000 words a d«y.
EASTERN AOENT— J. P. McKlnney.
» 06 Potter building, No.w York, 311
ltoyee building, Chicago.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION WITH
Peilly. by carrier, per month $ .85
ally, by mull, three months 1.93
ally, by mall, six months 3.90
Dally, by mall, one year. ..' 7.9"
Sunday Herald by mall, one year. . 2.60
Weekly Herald, by mall, one year. 1.00
Entered nt Postoftlce, Los Angeles, as
THE HERALD IN SAN FRANCISCO
AND OAKLAND— Los Angeles and
Kouthern California visitors to Sun
Francisco and Oakland will find Tho
Horaid on sale nt the news stands In
the San Prnnclsco ferry building and
on the streets In Oakland by Wheatley
. and by Amos News Co.
Population of Los Angeles. 251.463
The rnr'.y buyer gots thp turkey.
Don't let the gold brick twins do you.
Wnltor find ' Walter, the gold brick
"Smash the machine" Is the Gates
After all the old coal burner Is the
Today the turkey gets It where Willie,
Hearst got It.
Beware lest the gold brick twins work
you next week.
"Walter Parker Is good enough for
me." — "Doc" Llndley.
Anyhow^ the gas will be on in time to
Cook the great American bird.
Don't be discouraged; It won't last
long. The sun shines once more.
San Pedro Is about ready to come
In. Welcome, Bister, to our fireside.
Washington reports n cold wave. The
Vice president has just Rrrlvod there.
That shoestring seems to have a
Ftrong pull; San Pedro feels it mightily.
There would be more cause for
Thanksgiving if Gates were already
elected, but —
Los Angeles will hold another
Thanksgiving a week henc. to rejoice
over Gates' success.
This is the day when it Is better to
be tough than good — if you are a
The Standard Oil will pay out $10,
00,000 in dividends next month. Notice
the raise In oil prlcea.
Remember in purchasing the Thanks
giving bird that fine feathers have noth
ing to do with its eatability.
Many a candidate will ©at turkey to
morrow who will be glad enough to
dine on crow a week hence.
Caruso will tonight deliver his famous
top note, but It won't attract near the
attention that his $10 note did.
If the gas company had only hired
the campaign orators it could at least
have filled its mains with hot air.
Twelve hundred voters have been
lidded to the lists since the election
three weeks ago. That's growing some.
The president has one advantage in
his reply to Poultney Bigelow; it won't
cost him anything to print or dis
Among other things which go up In
smoke are dividends for $4,000,000 which
the tobacco trust will divide next
xnonth. Smoke up!
The registration for the city election
Is 64,000. Two years ago it was 27,000.
It has doubled in that time. Who says
(Los Angeles doesn't grow?
One hour is to be clipped off the run
ping time between San Francisco and
Los Angeles, thus still more expediting
the Inrush from the quake town.
The one great thing the coming
City administration must carry out la
the Owens river project. Do you want
B doctbr to look after that? Hardly.
The Southern Pacific is to run three
new trains from San Francisco to Los
Angeles. Simply can't take care of the
people who want to come here; that's
The Los Angeles District Federation
of Women's Clubs is entirely right in
lv attitude of hostility to the bill
board nuisance, but entirely wrong in
declaring a "boycott" upon all mer
chants and business men who may see
proper to patronize billboards. The
"boycott" Is ÜB-Ainerlcan, unfair and
the last act of a cause whloa has no
argument. Now in this c.aHe there is
plenty of unanswerable argument
against the billboard, nuisunee— argu-
>"• "i which in time will convince even
the dullest merchant that the bill
board is not the place for advertise*
But the boycott i» a lliuinb-
Icrew and a boiiu-br«-uki;i- win, -h be
longs to the middle uk*'». It Is the
Igltutor'u unickeißiieo and the walking
lelegatt'w brainless bludgeon. The la
liea of tho federation uiiould take, it
town under the bed' it
them vi their right
ABOUT THfi MAYORALTY
The Llndleyitea neem desperately
Afraid to try their Issues before the
people of Los Angeles. » . J /- >I
Prom the very beginning Jof the
mayoralty campaign they have cau
cused and conclaved and played kinder
snrten politic* by endeavoring to get
(tome other candidate to withdraw.
They tried to flim-flam Lee C. Gates
lnto retiring from the field, but he dis
covered the gold brick In time to up
set all the pin us of the schemers.
Then the Llndleyltea conceived the
funny notion of trying to boom the
Socialist candidate, as a little Hide di
version; but that was too palpable and
had to be dropped.
Flnnlty, In tho Inst Wttt Of Mil
vnss, they calltfd upon tho Merchants
nd Manufactnnn' association for
help in (rotting Ontes out of tho way.
but at the round-up It wns dlf
that If U:itos wore wlthdrnwii Tlnrper
WOtlld be tho choice, and the Llndleyltea
It sopms vory strange thai if the I!' -
publican machine Is so enck-sure Of
T.lnHoy's election It should spend so
much of Ms time behind closed doors
Inventing gehomps for the withdrawal
of oppnsilng candidates.
Why, If Dr. Walter Llndley Is so
poptmir aAd such a good selection and
wniiM make such a splendid mayor,
does not tho machine assume its mmnl
black-flaif tactics and neither give nor
take quarter? The answer is plnin. It
Is because the machine Is wobblier. It
isn't at all certain that Undlcy can
be elected. In fact the indications are
growing that he will bo defeated, and
the horror of having Lee Gates In tho
mayor's chair gives to the Republican
machinery the flesh-creeps and groans
After all the dust-throwing and all
the mud-slinging are eliminated the
mayoralty campaign simmers down to
the open Issue— that of non-partisan
ship in municipal affairs. Do you want
it, or do you not? The answer to that
question will very nearly decide who
will be elected next Tuesday.
Outside of the fight for mayor, the
non-partisan ticket, includfng all the
non-partisan nominees for the city
council, Is considered so excellent that
nearly nil the newspapers In Los An
pales are supporting it. Only the head
of the non-partisan ticket la being- at
tacked, and that because of the pat
ronage of the mayor's office. The
Democratic organization has indorsed
nearly tho whole of the non-partisan
ticket, but put up a straight Democrat
for mayor, because of the patronage
that may be handed out to "the boys."
The local Republican organ Indorses
nearly the whole of the non-partisan
ticket, but stands up for the Republican
machine candidate for mayor.
Do you see the point? The non-par
tlsan ticket is beyond cavil, dispute or
criticism of any kind. From top to bot
tom it bears the stamp of honesty, in
tegrity and competency, and all the
hullabaloo over the mayoralty Is
simply the shrieking and creaking of
the two machines, Republican and
Democratic, over the probable Inaugu
ration of civic righteousness in the
election of Gates.
The people of Los Angeles want their
municipal business conducted in a
business-like manner, in the highest
form of efficiency and economy. They
can hardly expect to realize their desire
by choosing for mayor the representa
tive of the Republican or Democratic
machines, whose first business would
bo the division of the jobs among the
ward workers and precinct heelers.
Elect Lee Gates and the whole non
partisan ticket and th' , great f . city
would at once feel the impetus of a
new regime, the inauguration of
honesty and competency In every de
partment of the city government.
LUMBER TRUST METHODS
A partial explanation of the present
inflation of lumber prices Is given in
the last bulletin issued by the federal
department of labor and commerce. It
appears that the exports of ivood and
•wood products from the United States
have Increased more than one
third within the last few months.
These exports represent lumber, chiefly,
from the sources of supply on the Pa
cific coast. The total during the pres
ent year, mostly shipments' from our
northern ports, have been at the rate
of nearly $5,000,000 in value per month.
This enormous) drain of lumber for
foreign account is given an the chief
reason, by the northern lumberman,
for the extraordinary marking: up of
their prices during the present year.
The several advanoas in lumber prlcea
in the Los Angeleß market during the
year are equal to a total increase of
about one-third over the figures a year
ago. That tallies with the statement
concerning the increased exports of
lumber from the northern ports, in
shipments that have gone as far as
Australia. South Africa and other re
mote parts of tho earth.
The northern lumber trust is operat
ing on the general plan of all the big
American trusts that are seeking con
trol of foreign trade. The largely In
creased lumber exports are made at a
small margin of profit— so small that
Canudlan and other lumber producera
cannot successfully compete. Other
trusts carry this policy to the point of
selling their products abroad at coat
for the sake of killing competition, and
there is not much doubt that American
lumber is Hold abroad at cost in cases
ulitn: that 1* necessary to freeze out
. But American home builders and
other lumber users are made to pay
for the low figures at which foreigners
thus get their supplies. The domestic
markets are wholly at the mercy of
the lumbermen and there Is no escape
from the merciless advances in prices
that come with alarming frequency.
The cost of monopolizing foreign mar
kets' by all American trusts Is saddled
upon American consumers.
The only ineuii» ,, ,|,jm
tyranny i>( the lumber magnate* lies
ii Canadian competition Th.v is
LOS ANGELES HERALD: WEDNESDAY MORNING, NOVRMRRR 28. IQOfi.
h»rre<l, however, hy the tnrlff, whleh
protects tho lumbermen In their
And there Is nn hope of relief from
thst monopoly so loiir ns S IJopnhllcnn
COngrtn controls the tnrirr.
A PRECEDENT SMASHER
President Roosevelt's fondness for
breaking precedent* reached the climax
in his recent voyage to thj isthmus of
Panama. He not only Ignored the time
honored presidential custom of keeping
within the boundaries of the United
Slate*, but ho traveled thousands of
miles beyond, including a visit to an
Thorn Is no substantial ronsoii why
:m American president might not go
I" vniiij the line of his own country.
Tho brails of Kiiropenii scovornments,
Rlngl ,'md emperors, ro OtlttMe of their
respective mints wlthoul exciting
much comment. Bdward of (front
Britain nnd William or Qermany, pnr
tlcularly, nre (|iiiir frtqtteni visitors
abroad, Thr chieftain of th^ great ro
nubilc snroiy should not be subjected
to restraint In personal freedom that
i-j not imposed upnn the inonnrchs of
Ami y.-l Hip rtCtnt journey of Presi
dent Roosevelt is rautttive or the lBt«
ter day tendency to discard customs and
precedents Of the early days of the
republic which formerly were regarded
BS almost sacred. Even fit so late a
period as the time of President Me-
Klnley's visit y> the Pacific const the
precedent In question was observed.
At El Paso President McKinloy wrnt
to tho middle of thp bridge over the
Rio Grande, the dividing line betwepn
the United States nnd Mexico, but he
would go no farther,
But President Roosevelt's Inst act In
precedent-breaking is a trivial mat tot
compared with the smashing of other
precedents established by tho fathers
of the republic. There Is but little lef:
of the simplicity that distinguished
federal administrations down to tha
period of the Civil War. The war In
troduced a new political and social era
in which the spoils of office became the
foremost consideration politically and
the spoils of wealth the primary aim
socially. Carpet-bag government In the
south and shoddy aristocracy in the
north almost obliterated the honored
traditions, precedents and customs of
the olden time.
Mr. TV. C. Patterson, one of the noml
noßS on the Republican ticket for mem
ber of the boord of education, today
asks thf electors of Los Angeles not
to vote for him. because, on account of
his pressing business duties, if elected
ho would be compelled to resign.
His wish should be respected. Mr.
Patterson hns the fullest confidence of
tho people of Los Angeles, who would
be glad to vote for him upon any
ticket, but It should be remembered
that perhaps no other man in Los An
geles has given so much of his time
and attention to civic affairs, serving
the people faithfully and well, and
without pay. His business duties now
intervening, he is entitled to decline
Owing to the wood and coal famine
in Los Angeles, caused by the unex
pected advent of cold weather, the Los
Angeles Gas company has been sud
denly called upon to furnish both heat
and light in double the amount ever
before demanded. The company esti
mates that it pushed directly through
the pipes more than 1,500,000 cubic feet
of gas per hour, and oven then could
not meet the public requirement. The
new gas tank lacked a few days' work
of completion, so that assistance could
not be had from that quarter until
today. But by active effort on the
part of the company the situation is
materially improved and conditions
hereafter are expected to be much
THE "DANGER" OF HOME
"Home is the most dangerous place
I ever go to," remarked Mr. John Muir,
the famous geologist and naturalist.
He was on the train returning, from
Arizona to his home in Martinez, Cal.,
after the earthquake. "As long as 1
camp out in the mountains, without
tcnl or blankets, I get along very well;
but the minute I get into the house
and have a warm bed and begin to live
on fine food, 1 get into a draft and the
first thing I know I am coughing and
neesinff and threatened with pneu
monia and altogether miserable. Out
doors is the natural place for a man.
"Walk whore you pleave, when you
like, and take your time. The moun
tain! won't hurt you, nor the exposure.
Why, I can live out for $fiO a year, for
bread an 4 tea and occasionally a little
tobacco. All I need Is a sack for the
bread and a pot to boll water in, and
an axe. The rest is easy."— World's
CORDAYLIA OF THE ALLEY
At the corner >■' the alley
sits Cordaylla MoNally,
At the corner o' the alley where Un
people com* an* ko.
in a penitent procession,
r.issln' to un from confession
In tin- ould Churoh Of St. Joseph that
wan bullded long »go.
(), 'tis well she knows there's many
lias the charitable penny
More oonvaynient to their fingers then'
than any other day.
An' her toagUS It Is bo sooth'rln'
An' so maahterful deiuth'rin'
There art! mortal few whatever she'll he
li'ttin' Ket awaj .
For. O, the Irish eyes of her
They twinkle at ye so,
V< hate to think the sighs of bar
Are ijart o' the dtsguUe of her.
So, falx, Him has yer penny gathered In
before ye know,
There's small use in walkin' fanther
.Unlit to hurry In apast her,
Shine, she'll let ye go, unnoticed, \\-l<l
- yer little load o' sin.
But, O, man, she has got ye spotted.
An 1 yer penny good as potted.
Km- she knows ye'U be softer comln'
out than ajoin 1 In.
Fur there's nothln' but good nature
in the m'anast Irish cray( h
Whin he feels the soul Inatdc o' liim Is
cleansed o1o 1 lv'i-y hioi,
should Cordaylla then mKirrss ye
Wid IKer south' riii' "IJod bless ye!"
'Tls not you will dare to Judge, if uhe'B
i In 1 it or not.
Tor, •). the Irish eyes of her
They twinkle at ye bo,
Ye hate 1.. think the sighs of hr
Are pttrt ■>' the dUculae of her,
8 0, falx, she lias yer penny gathered In
before ye know. 1 /
T. A. Paly in Catholic Standard anil
LUXURIES AND COMFORTS IN THE MODERN TOURING CAR
Chauffeurs of the Newest Car* May Be Signaled by Electric Motor or
Reached by Telephone
From the New York Herald.
Tho development of the automobile
ln UN luxury of It* equipment has kept
pace with the progress In the matter
Of speed. The perfecalon 1., which the
modern cam havo been brought In
their Interior furnishings Is less fa
miliar than their possibilities for speed.
The racing car Is naturally a familiar
object, On the other hand the most
luxurious enrs are. as yet limited In
number and their most remarkable
features are. not arranged for display.
The modern automobile of the more
expensive type makes the most lux
urious railroad car seem barren by
comparison. It Is difficult to Imagine
how luxury within such narrow boun
daries could be carried further, The
up-to-date automobillst, If he be v.in
lngllng to pay the price, may dine In his
private car, write, rend, make an el
aborate toilet, control his machine by
telephone or electric signals without
lnterrupting .-i pace of d mile a minute,
ln the tests of High Speed In long
runs the American cars have been
beaten by foreign rivals, Bui In point
of comfort and luxury the newer Amer
ican model i, ii In safe to say, stand
alone. Considered as a boudoir, for
lnstance, the cabs or an automobile
may be somewhat cramped, but II can
compare very favorably In point of
equipment with any similar Interior,
Here "my lady" will find mirrors very
conveniently placed, even hand mir
rors, as on her dressing table. There
R i-o electric lights so distributed that
any Illumination desired may be
thrown UPOn any object. There are
spacious leather bags with compart
ments Into which (It elegant cut glass
bottles, with silver tops, for carrying
a variety of toilet preparations. In
one of these car* there Is even ii dimin
utive wash stand, with running water
concealed beneath the leather uphol
As In a Smoking Room
A man Will find another class of
COmforte. He can make himself quite
as much at homo In this luxurious
interior as his wife. There will bo a
locker for his cigars, so placed t fin t no
heat may reach the tobacco. Swing-
Ing within easy reach of his hand
there will be an electric cigar liphtor
with an ornate dip for cutting the ends
of his cigars, A touch of a button
and a flame instantly leaps from the
lighter to br> extinguished by another
touch. There will be a writing desk
folded up ingeniously beneath the up
holstery, well supplied with ink, pens
and blotters and every brand of sta
tionery especially prepared for the oc
casion. This automobile paper is
stamped with the number of the ear
with the expreslve phrase engraved be
neath it "en route." There will bo
pockets arranged for carrying books
It Is but a few years nt most since
tho attention of tho driver of a closed
carriage could only be obtained by
hammering on tho windows or, In tho
most luxurious equipages, by pulling
a cord. Such a cord at best could
impart no very definite information.
Today in the driving of an automo
bile equipped with the latest improve
ments there is instant communication
with the Interior of the cab, so that
anyone riding inside may control every
movement. Leaning back luxuriously
on the heavily upholstered cushions one
may by the pressure of a finger stop
or start the car, turn to one side or
tho other and accelerate or retard tho
There are two means of communi
cation between the Interior of the cab
and the chaffeurs. The driver may
be reached by telephone or by electric
signals. The actual distance between
the driver and the one driven is, in
cidentally, probably less than three
feet. In winter, however, the distance
between the two positions may be
equivalent to that which separates
Maine from Florida. The temperature
may be. zero or below, with an icy
wind, while in the car a lady may bo
riding with bare neck and shoulders
with the temperature at 80.
Tho telephone between these two
zones Is a flexible tubo hanging on the
Interior of the cab. The other end of
the telephone is equipped with a small
megaphone-like attachment within a
few inches of the driver's ear. It is
always possible to ring up the chaf
fuer in this case and be sure of get
ting him on the line. The receiver in
the cab is, besides, supplied with a
small bellows, so that by merely press
ing this a low whistle will be sounded
Miss Wisely— l suppose that was your
valet I saw with you yesterday.
Heggy— My dean, don't say "valet."
That word, you know, is not used now,
Miss 'Wisely— Well, then, your "keep
Reggy— Cawn't Imagine what's th«
matter with Harold. There aaems to be
something preying on hi* mind
. Mlv Quick -Oh! whatever It Is. let It
alone. It will probably die of starva
Nt tho othor end of tho Tln<". whleh
"'lll Instniitly patch Ihe i hniiffour's flt
Ie slgnnl. a new fonhir* of
the automobile*, and only found In the
inn«t rostly rnvn, Is Intended to sim
plify tho telephone With tho atd of
this signal d< trice anyone riding In thr
r-ar practically controls the mnchlnp nt
•■my Instant, The device mnk*s II pos
sible to keep in Instant touch with the
chauffeur and will givo him n variety of
directions morel] in touching a button,
At iho side ..f n car nn Inconsplcu
oils little dlnl of ivory Is placer] fitted
\.iih a series or buttons, which are in
turn electrically connected with fi sim
liar dial directly before the chauffeur.
It Is, of eon; to touch the
signal buttons with very little effort
wlthoul even rising Prom tho luxuri
ous cushions of the i iih.
Giving One's Command
Th ■ little Ivorj dlHl suggests I tnste
rnl menu, uilh a list of possible orders,
ill nous button before
( aeh word, These orders or dlrei lions
anticipate the pleasure or the automo
biiist hy making v possible for him m
go Faster or slower, to go ahead or
lum in iii. rlghl on left, at to turn
■ to Btop, "I tO sin it. or to go
home, The Instant one of these buttons
is pressed on the dial In the cab or
the *ir a busser hell sounds in tho
dial in iho front of the driver, and the
.void Indicated within is Hashed out
by nn electric light suddenly appear
ing beneath the corresponding word on
ihe second dial,
Th.- contrivance hns s practical util
ity quite apart from its more con
venience. The driver or a pair or
horses may safely enough give them
'heir heads foi- a moment while ho
I urns to the open door of tho carriage
to get a direction, The picture of a
lady or gentleman reaching far out of
the window of the carriage door while
the driver makes „ similar contortion
In order to get within range Is of
course, familiar, such an arrange
ment would be quite oul or ihp ques
tion in driving an automobile. The
chauffeur cannot for a moment leave
iho machine to guide itsoif. The ciec
trlo Indloator gives him a variety of
directions without for an instant dis
tracting his .-mention.
THE CITY OF GREAT BRITAIN
Unless we command the soa we can
not keep open the roads by which our
people are fed. Britain has in effect
ceased to be ii country. Kho Is now,
considered from tho political and
military point of view, a city, though
a city with very largo pnrks and
pleasauncos and kitchen gardens In
which to grow her flowers, fruits and
vegetables. A city, from tho point of
view of war, may ho described as a
place which if besieged long enough
lnust fall, since supplies once con
sumed cannot bo replenished. ' Britain
answers to this description. The
moment tho SP a roads to her are
closed by an enemy she is. ipso facto,
in a state of siege. Face to face, with
a need so imminent, It would be mad
ness for us to give any consideration
to what we hope or believe are the
intentions of this or that foreign pow
er. All that we can rightly do in con
sidering- how to secure our national
safety and independence is to count
ships and guns and to compute the
units of naval efficiency.— London
TO TRIPLE YOUR MONEY
"Do you want to triple your money
in three years? Then buy French wine
of this year's vintage," said a wine ex
"The year 1906." he went on, "is
destined to go down in history as a
vintage year. The great dry heat, the
fierce, Invigorating sunshine of the past
summer in France made a grape har
vest of unexampled splendor. The
grapes were like plums, big, sweet,
juicy, of superb flayer— the kind of
grapes that make a wine both delicate
"All the French wiseacres— the little
innkeepers and hotel men, the head
waiters, the bartenders — are putting
their savings into the new 1906 wine,
well aware that a quart of this wine,
worth this winter 10 cents, will be
worth 30 cents in the winter of 1909,
while in 1915 or 1920 a quart of the
famous 1906 white or red, a quart of
the great vintage year, may easily be
worth $5 or $6.
"Put your money in 1906 French
wine, and later on you'll thank me."
'She Willie Boys
GEORGE O. BAKER
THE WHOLE THING.
R'ggy— should have seen me In ma
new uroir togs UiU afternoon. .Bah Jove!
lf I do say It myself, I lookfti out of
Alias Cruel— suppose you looked the
• Rcggy— how d'you mean, "the
Miss Cruel— Out of night, out of mind.
A N EXPLANATION.
Cholly— Er— really, I cawn't understand
why lome fallows get rich and I always
stay »v poor.
Mil* Slick— Perhaps It's because ma
many people amuse themselves at your
BIMON GUGGENHEIM. SENATOR
Simon Guggenheim, ft Republican,
slated for the United States senate
from Colorado to succeed Thomas M.
Patterson, « Democrat, is one of seven
brothers known .is M. Ouggonhelm'B
sons. They dominate the smelting
business of the country and practically
control Its sliver output and a consid
erable portion of the copper production.
They own the Guggenheim Exploration
company, which has developed Im
mense mining properties In Mexico and
the far west and which has a vast on
terprise now under way for making
the mineral wealth of Alaska acces
Simon Guggenheim hns been the
western representative or the family
for nearly a dozen rears, lie tins a
knowledge, of the smelting business
and Is regarded ns one of the ablest
mining experts In the country, s.i
enormously has the wealth or this
family multiplied In recent yean that
men familiar, with the facts hesitate
to set any figure, fearing to expose
themselves to a charge Of exaggeration.
They assert that the combined wealth
of the seven men runs Into the hun
dreds of million! 1 !.
The coming senator is next- to the
youngest of ihe seven brothers, lie
was horn In I'hiltidPlpliin liocomhir 2!)
1867, hence, ho will be .19 years old ne:;t
month. Fin was educated In the public,
schools of Philadelphia nnd graduated
from Its high school and wns then aenl
abroad i>\ his father to pick up a
knowledge or foreign languages and tho
business methods or different European
countries, Mr. Guggenheim reads,
writes nnd spmks fluently French
Spanish and German.— New v.nt
SPELLING AND SUPREME COURT
i 'ih ■ Carnegiefled ipellera an not oon
i'til tO lend tholr horse to water, they
Insist iinit he shall drink. Of course he
kicks. lie kicked somevvhiil over the
recent attempt at simplification hy
executive order. Mora Intely a proposi
tion to Introduce the improved orthog
raphy Into Iho public schools of Now
York made the horse ve>y restive. lii
the person of Mr. Rolatter Johnson ho
reared right up and threatened to pull
his halter out of the rostra ining grasp
of Prof. Brander Matthews. Is It ex
pedient to crowd the horse so hard?
Must wn come to blows over simplifica
tion? Can't wo. play with it a little
while? If the conflict Is irrepressible
and It is already patent that the Ameri
can language cannot endure half spelled
nd half simplified the old order will
win. Persuasion is the only present
hope of the slmpliflers. They cannot yet
accomplish anything by main strength.
The supreme court of the United Ktntos
gontly recorded its preference for old
fashioned, unabated spoiling when the
chief justice blandly Inquired of Solici
tor General : -t whether a quotation
in his brief from an option rendered
by Justice Bradley was "supposed to
be a quotation from Justice Hradley's
official opinion." Tho trouble was that
Mr. Hoyt, bowing to -executive order,
had represented Justice Bradley as
spelling "through" t-h-r-u. Mr. Hoyt
apologized, and will not again interpo
late the president's spelling into ofihiHl
opinions of the supreme court. As for
htfl own spelling he said: "We follow
the president's order in preparing
original briefs." Hut how mad it must
make them! — Harper's Weekly.
TWINS BORN IN DIFFERENT YEAR
"I have often been present at the
birth of twins," said an old nurse.
"Only once was I present, though,
when the twins were born In different
"Twins born in different years? You
are crazy," said the young bride.
"Not a bit of it," said the old nurso.
"The thing happened In Pittsburg In
'99. The first twin was born at half
past eleven on the night of December
31. 1599, and the second was born at 1
o'clock in the morning of January 1,
"There are, mam, a number of
other cases recorded of twins born
in different years. '
TIT FOR TAT
He rejoiced in the not very humor
ous name of Wood, and he prided him
self on his jokes and smart repartee.
Few of his friends had escaped the lash
of his tongue, and he had victimized
many by his practical jokes— in fact, he
never lost an opportunity of being
funny. One day he met a friend whose
name was Stone, and naturally a name
like that was too good a chance to miss.
"Good morning, Mr. Stone," he said
gaily; "and how is Mrs. Stone and all
the little pebbles?"
"Oh, quite well, Mr. Wood," was the
reply. "How's Mrs. Wood and all the
little splinters?"— Stray Stories.
Slie-Wliat la your dearest wlib, Mr.
He— Ah! let me seel Oh! yes! I wish
thy man could ovah lealin to lay out the
twouaeha I wunt to wear In the malm-
Ing* without my being bothered by hav
ing to choose, fwom (oh or live palha.
It'a 10 exawipehwatlngl
Harold (who had finally ■uinmed up
courag* to propose)— l'vu sot uuinuthinv
tv *ay to you, that— aw— may mirprla*
you. I tlilnk — -
Minn Hartlaaa- You do? That cortaluly
When nrrmll boys He In bed and douse
When .-v.-, v nchool door has to clone,
When there la respite from all woes,--
That's Thanksgiving morn.
When tin-key crowns the table's hend '
Surrounded by cranberries red.
And every one. on mince pie's fed —
That's Thanksgiving noon.
When every youth m football clothes
And tries to slide upon his nose,
And breaks his arm and stubs his toes -
That's the 'ihnnksglvlng game.
And when at last he's home to bed,
Oilm monsters crowd around his bed',
And mince pie. feels as light as lead —
That's Thanksgiving night.
-HOWARD U. KRUEOER.
lnI In time we may learn to forgive
Count Honl for making such an ass of
himself, unless he finally concludes to
write a book.
Sarah Bernhardl li broke. Sarah's
Brent financial mistake was not in be
ing a member of the original Florodora
The difference between a sailor and a
lawyer Is that one enlists for fights on
lea and the other enlists for fees on
lt Is easy enough to become famous.
am you have to do Is heave n rock at
marriage, the family, or the Ten Com
Booze drops continue to be sold nt
Washington, D. C. because a chemical
analysis shows that they are not
"legally Intoxicating." Just Illegally In
tcxlcatlng, which, of course, does not
There Is just one trouble about .-ill
the scientific systems of training girls
to be wives. They would consider
themselves far too good for the few
men who would be fools enough to ask
such superior persons to marry them. ,
ln the $100,000,000 spent for luxuries
in this country last year lio account
was taken of Hearst's political boom.
P alm—l— I just kissed a Boston girl. '
Pepper— Broke the ice, eh?
AA A London doctor says bridge Is a dis
cease.e ease. The remedy is tho same as for
appendicitis— cut it out.
Some Doubt as to What Happened
Luther ('order had his runabout
smashed up last Thursday evening
while It was hitched in front of a resi
dence In the west part of tho city.
From the effects of the wreck it must
have boon hi* by an automobile or an
other buggy which must have been
fining at top speed as one front wheel
was completely destroyed the shaves
broke and the harness torn from the
horse while it escaped injury. The
smash up occurred quickly and quietly
as Luther, new nothing of it until he
started to unhitch and found his buggy
dragged some distance from tho horse.
No clue os to who the other follow was
could be found, but who ever it was the
still have Luthcrs' brest strap among
their trlmings. Wheather It was an
auto or another rig, it Is remarkable
how the horse came out without ,a
scratch.— Girard (111.) Gazette.
Secretary Shaw will retire, but he
hasn't announced what bank he'll bo
P oppy—l shall have to put my foot
down when I return to Chicago.
Magnolia— no small undertak
ing, is it, dear? — - — ■■-
Even the sunny haired- girl can have
a cloudy disposition. /,
Baiting rebates Is a favorite occupa
0, Mr. Caruso,
What ever made you do so?
The man who draws the color, line is
not necessarily an artist. . : ,;
l Lipton says Philadelphia .girls are
"simply lovely." Probably New York
girls are elaborately lovely, then. . •.'
That western man who has a record
of every quarrel with his wife must
run a "scrap" book. . , ■
Orange — Misfortunes never come
singly, old man. ,
Lemon you only wed one woman
a', a time, y'know. .-.-.-%
The octopus will have to lose a good
many limbs before it Is on its last leg.
Hetty Green's prejudice against trusts
hasn't led to her refusing to hold stock ,
in any, as yet.
ln th« Neck
There's excitement in the barnyard,
There's a flutter in the coop;
There's a flurry around the henhouse
As if chickens had the roup.
Feathers flying in the breezes,
Squawks are hear all round the place;
Ax Is smeared with blood and down, too.
Which is scattered 'bout the space.
Pot's abolling In the kitchen;
Something smells so fine. By heck,
Now I know what's all the trouble-
Turkey's got It in the neck!
. — W. If. C.
INCOMES FROM PHOTOGRAPHS
As the celebrity passed out of the
s-tudlo, the photographer gave him a,
check for $200.
"He's easy," said th-e man. "Ho
ought to have copyrighted and handled
his photo himself. He might have mudo
$WX) a year out of it for life, provided
that he kept on writing books as pop
ular as "The Swamp.'
"You'd be amazed If you knew hoy.
many public characters handle their
own photos. There's bishops, there's
statesmen, there's artists, there's labor
leaders, and, of course, there's tho llshla
of the stage.
"These people got tired of seeing
their faces selling like hot cakes every
where, the photographer and tho dealer
getting ull the profit, they themselves
put off with a beggarly hundred or ao.
And so they took the matter In their
own hands, and today, when you buy
their pictures, the cent or two of prolit
goes into their pockets instead of the
middleman 1 !?. And that profit very fre
quently runs up to $600 or $700 a year."
Homesuktrs' Club Tonight.
Every on* deilrlng to secure a farm horns
In California la Invite* to the meeting at (t
o'clock this evening In Home Extension Hall.
Chamber, of Commerce. Fourth new town ana
colony now being formed, also the Lot Ange-
les Acre Lot Club. Land distributed at whole-
•ale to member*. i Come and learn. < .
- r _
■ , , Best Set or Teeth ML
~~~fc^»^^^- ,|ii-^P' T 1
|gk.~BW ,a~rls~s~ifc»_ phone >
f~gV~ r^P4~B ~~~~~PS£-^'"
Ilfl Wjmw jU ' ««• a
t ™(aJßlß^ii^Basw"^-- Broadway
ftE^"" OENTISTS. '
Open evenings till 1:30; Suudayt 4 to 1i. ..