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AUSTIN'S HAWAIIAN WEEKLY.
How a Story is Written.
A writer in tiic Academy, who
evidently belongs to the class of
readers who insist upon remember
ing popular authors through the
things which the authors them
selves have forgotten, rather than
those which have since made them
popular, has recovered from his in
convenient memory the fact that
once upon a time Anthony Hope
began in a magazine, the name of
which he omits to mention, a series
of articles entitled The Fly on the
Wheel, and that they came to an
untimely end, a circumstance which
terminated Mr. Hope's connection
with journalism. In one of these
articles, this writer says, the ques
tion was asked by a woman, "Oh,
Mr. Fly, how do you think of those
lovely stories?" or by a man, "I say,
Fly, old chap, how the deuce do
you turn out all that stuff of
yours?" which question was an
swered by a page from the Fly
Journal, the genuineness of which
will, we think, he acknowledged
by the experience of most writers
who are dubious of themselves and
the work in hand. But here is the
Fly's, or, rather, Mr. Hope's jour
Let us suppose I am bidden to
write a short story. I arrive at my
working den at' about 9:45 and
read my letters. The rest of the
day is as follows :
10:00 Put on writing coat; find
a hole in the elbow. ,
10:03 Light pipe and sit down
in large arm chair by fire.
10:15 Who the deuce can write
a story on a beastly day like this?
(It was quite nice weather, really
that's the artistic temperament.)
10:45 I must think about that
confounded story; besides, I don't
believe she meant anything after
11:15 I wish the these
I people hadn't asked me to
write for their paper!
11:45 Hullo! Will that do?
12:00 Hangit, that's no use!
12:30 I suppose if I happened
to have a head instead of a turnip
I could write that story.
12:40 Yes! No!" By Jove,
yes! Where's that pen? Oh,
where the ? All right, here
it is! Now, then. (Scribble.)
1 :oo Lunch ! Good ; I believe
1 130 Now T'll just knock it off.
2:15 Well, I don't quite see my
way to . Oh, yes, I do ! Good !
That's not so bad.
3 :oo One, two, three 300
words a page. Well, I've put that
in in good time, anyhow ! Where's
,3:i5 T think I'll fetch 'em.
Pitched in passion, by Jove!
3:40 Oh, say, look here! I've
only got about 1,200 words and I
want 2,000. What the deuce shall
3:50 I must pad it, you know.
She mustn't take him yet, that's all.
4:00 She can't take more than
a page accepting the fool, though ;
it's absurd, you know !
4:15 Oh, confound it!
4 145 Now, let's sec two, four,
six, seven. Good! I'm in the
5 :oo Thank Heaven that's
done! Now I suppose I must read
the thing over. I know it's awful
rot. Well, that's their lookout;
they've bought it.
5 103 It's not so bad, though,
5:11 I rather like that. I don't
know, but it seems rather original.
5:15 M'm! I've read worse
stories than this.
5 :2o No, I'm hanged if I touch
a word of it ! It's not half bad.
5 125 Pretty smart ending !
5 ".30 Well, if there are a dozen
fliii 111 T Hrvlmwl ti'ln- (tin ittfifn o
iiivii ill jiiiticiiin uu v.1111 1 iiv. a 1
better story than that, I should like
to see 'em, that's all. j
5:35-ruff, puff, puff! Well, I
shan't touch a pen again today." I
She Was Too Mad to Speak.
The Washington woman came
across some excellent tea in England
tea the like of which she had never
known before. She knew there was
none of it to be had in America, so
she bought pounds and pounds of it
to bring home with her. She didn't
mean to pay duty on it, for she felt
that no really patriotic American can
consistently pay a tea tax after what
our ancestors did in Boston harbor,
so she made herself a petticoat, and
into the lining thereof she quilted the
tea. When the steamer drew into
port, she put on the garment. To
wear it was martyrdom. It seemed
to weigh a ton. She could scarcely
walk in- it, and the- hang of her new
going ashore gown was utterly ruined
by it, but the custom house officials
let her pass without suspicion. She
went directly to the railway station
and started for Washington. The
journey will live long in her memory
for its discomfort. Her husband
met her at the station. He marked
her pale, worn look. As they
stepped into the carriage she told
him the story.
" I wasn't going to let them get
ahead of me," she said proudly.
"Wasn't it a lovely idea ?"
Her husband fell back in the car
riage and roared.
" Lovely !" he said. " Lovely !
I should say it was. Why, my dear,
there isn't any duty on tea."
And let me remark in passing that
the child's sob in the silence isn't
by any means the only thing that
curseth deeper than the strong man
in his wrath.
The signal department of the
United States army has awarded a
contract for three electric automo
bile telegraph and balloon wagons
to be used by that department of
the army. Two of the vehicles are
to be designed for heavy work, and
one for light work. They are to
be used in connection with balloon
work and experiments in wireless
telegraph. The heavy wagons must
be able to carry not less than 803
lbs., besides the driver, and must be
capable of storing a sufficient charge
of electricity to run twelve miles.
These wagons are to be arranged
for conversion into a signal corps
station, with telegraph lines for use
at military headquarters; and a
switchboard will be provided by
means of which the entire output of
the battery at fifty-five volts may be
available for general service. The
light wagon must be able to carry
at least four persons, and to run
twelve miles on a single charge.
The vehicles will be supplied with
duplicate batteries, and so fitted that
they can be drawn by horses. Each
wagon, including the extra battery,
will cost about $3,300.
Three very similar railway pro
jects are now claiming the attention
of the engineering world. The
trans-Siberian railway, across the
backbone of Asia, will shorten enor
mously the time necessary in a trip
around the world. In Africa, Cecil
Rhodes has an elaborate scheme for
a railroad from Cairo to the Cape,
and in this hemisphere the Inter
continental Railway Commission
has just completed a seven-volume
report on tne surveys tor a railroad
which would make a through line
from the States to Buenos Ayres.
Three continents it is thus proposed
to span with iron highways.
Why Kettles Sing. The rp
son is a very simple one. As the
water gets hot little bubbles of
steam are formed at the bottom of
the kettle. These in their rush up
wards .strike the sides of the kettle,
and set the metal it is made of in
vibration, thus causing the hum
ming sound we call singing. You
will notice that a large copper ket
tle the sides of which are thin will
emit a much louder and more mus
ical note than a common iron kettle.
"I gave that poor man one dollar 1
a few days ago, and told him to
come around and let me know how
he got along."
"Oh, that was good of you 1 He
was your bread cast upon the
"I suppose he was. Anyhow, he
came back 'soaked.' "
Mr. W. J. Clarke has suggested
a means of detecting the presence
of a ship or an iceberg by wireless
telegraphy. The apparatus which
he proposes is so arranged that
when two ships approach each other
a large vibrating gong will ring in
each, and the transmitter is so ar
ranged that the signal would be op
erated at a distance of from one to
ten miles. Mr. Clarke claims that
if it were made compulsory that sea
going vessels should be so equipped
with the necessary outfit, it could
be carried out at a small cost.
It was the shank of the evening
in Berlin. "Good evening, Herr
Police Officer," said the citizen.
"Come with me," was the police
"Donner-wetter ! Was ist lost?"
asked the astonished citizen.
"You that it is evening assumed,
have when the emperor not dined
has yet already."
The Emperor of Japan is entitled
to be considered the most aristocratic
ntler on earth. The Royal Family
of Japan has a geneological tree
which reaches to Adam. There have
been 121 Emperors of Japan, and
they all belong t this family. The
first one governed Japan just about
2500 years ago. He was on the
throne 300 years before Alexander
the Great thought he had conquered
the world. The Japanese have the
history of all thtir Emperors from
that time down to this, and they as
sure you that the Mikado is a lineal
descendant of the first Emperor.
One day Dr. Talmage, the famous
American preacher, opened a letter
in his pulpit, according to his custom,
which he found contained a single
word, "Fool." He mentioned the
fact to his congregation, and then
quietly added: "Now, I have known
many an instance of a man writing a
a letter and forgetting to sign his
name, but this is the only instance I
have ever known of a man signing
his name and forgetting to write the
Newspapers for One-tenth a
Penny. Owing to the cheap quality
of paper used for Chinese newspapers
and to the low price of labor, both
literary and mechanical, the native
papers are issued at an extremely
small figure. The price of an ordin
ary Shanghai journal is four cash, or
about one-tenth of a penny.
A Curious Custom. A singular
custom prevails among the Tartars
or Kurds. If a man loses his cattle
or other propeity he pours a little
brown sugar into a piece of colored
cloth, ties it up, and carries one such
parcel to each of his friends and ac
quaintances. In return he is pre
sented, according to circumstauces,
with a cow, or sheep, or a sum of
Admiral Dewey's favorite watch is
made of steel from the sunken battle
ship Maine. Captain Sigsbee, who
commanded the ill-fated war vessel
at the time she was blown up, carries
a simple timepiece.
New Zealand Birth-rate. The
New Zealand birth rate has been
steadily diminishing during the last
two decades. In 1882 it was 37.3
per 1000; to-day it is 25.96.
The Ainu women in Japan tattoo
their faces to give them the appear
ance of men with whiskers.
" She says her husband is awfully
obliging. He'll eat almost anything
that's set before him." " Dear me I
She couldn't expect him to eat it if
'twas set behind him, could she."