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The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, May 01, 1909, Image 5

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85058179/1909-05-01/ed-1/seq-5/

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I ILLUSTRATED I
WITH CUTS
By E. D P.on.
Uopjnht, b7 J II l.lpplnoit Co.)
"You fellers needn I talk about trou
hie i nil ii i n a newspapei remarked
Col. Snapper, an he drew a mighty
draught fiom his glass. In the days
n' '49. when 1 wan hnldin' down a' ed
itorial aheet, a feller aldled Inter the
mom. mighty muffled up about the
throat, an' his head skewed to one
nlde like II hed b'n aei on the bias.
'He waa a long-geared galoot, what
carried a sinister smile with him an'
0 n long, muddy frock coat that reached
to hie heels. There waa on'y the brim
of a respec'able hat on his head; a
ragged par o' white kid gloves waa
tryln' to cover his han's. Oh, he was
a Christmas ornament!
"'la the wall-eyed hyener that runs
this rag ler hum?' he axes, with a blsa
like a buttled hller.
"I thought shorely that I had ter
do with a manywac, or some freak
what got loose from a side show. There
upon 1 reaches for me gun.
" 'Drap that'' aez he, mighty ca'am
like, 'an' set still,' at the some time
flourishing a big knife above me nose
"Then he sot down, and looka at
me with a most raischeevous eye. He
looks aroun'a him for a spell an' then
he heada for me When he come
abreast of me he regards me for awhile
an' then he aez:
" '1 aee now,' aez he, ' 'at you're the
red nosed pirate I'A lookin' fer.' aa he
drawed a cheer and drapped into It.
'I was Home dubersome about yer iden
tity at fuat, owin' to the clean paper
collar ye have on, but I see I've came
to the right shop all right.'
"An' the wry-necked ruffian Axes his
lamps on me in slch a way I concluded
not to move, hopln' all the time that
old linltly llutterfoot, my pardner,
would, happen In 'fore he got vl'lent.
" 'My name,' sez he, 'la Hloaker
Sllaa Kllliigham Hloaker' aez he,
stroppln' that meat-cleaver on his boot
and regnrdln' me melevolent like.
" 'Oh, yes,' sez I, 'you was the gent
that took 50 of last week's papers fer
me puttin' yer picture in on the eve
of yer marriage.'
"1 did recall the critter, but he didn't
look like a man who had been enj'yln'
the honeymoon more like a feller
that had had a wrastle with a caty
mount. " 'That ain't no lie,' sez he. with a
grin thai showed his teeth, p'lnted aa a
beaver's.
" 'Well, wa'n't they all right?' I axes.
'1 took a sight of palna to get your pic
tur' took well.' 1 was wonderln' what
kind of keerda he was holdln' up his
sleeve.
" 'Yaa, ye did,' sez he, and flips a
copy of the paper out of his pocket,
' flares it out under my nose, and pints
to his portrait, that looked fair enough.
'Dint's me. all right, but what Is the
Inscription underneath?' and he read
with a mar: '"This Is the notorious
desperado, cut throat and train-robber,
iluck Dllnders. Look out for him, citi
zens of Calamity county, and hang him
on alght" '
"Blamed ef It wa'n't so! That old
mushrat, llutterfoot, had went and
mixed things up, and the desperado'a
picture waa Inscribed with the notice
of Bloaker's approaching marriage.
" 'Why, ye don't mean to say ye're
goin' to git mad over a little thing
like that?' sez I, thin kin' a soft answer
might come in handy.
" 'Oh, no,' sez he, 'oh, no, I rather
like it, I do,' flourlshin' that meat-ax,
or whatever It was, close to my nose
What happens when I goes gayly to
meet my bride, rigged out In a $1-' suit
with suitable trimmln'a? what hap
pens?' bellerln' like a cow buffalo
"Your paper had got there ahead of me.
They was some hundred men folks at
the depot when I got off. An' every
man had a rope, some had two. When
they Beta eyes on me they lets off a
bowl like a pack of wolves. Owin' to
your facetlousness a depltatlon of the
fust citizens conducts me to the near
est telegraph pole Ef the county
sheriff hadn't arrived, what knowed
me, I'd be hangln' there ylt. Look at
that neck!' workln' his head up and
down like a tortle that won't aot
right tell the crack o' doom, to say
imiiiiii' of my loaln' the lady, wuth
1760, Mexican, two mules, an' a bull
heifer. She laid she wa'n't goln'
though life bitched to a freak that
could look down the back of his neck
and bad to k-p his back turned
when he made love.'
" 'If you will egscuse me,' I sex, 'I
think 1 had better go downstairs and
tart the press,' attemptln' to rise.
"I changed my mind sudden about
departin' when I aee the bloodthirsty
look on hia face.
" 'You air, I see, mighty fond of tllus
tratln' your remarks with cuts,' aez
he.
" 'Why, yeB as a progressive ed
itor' l , v " 'And so be I.' with a whoop like
n Digger Injun, wavtn' that shinln
blade 'round his head.
"Well," concluded MaJ Snapper. ,i
he felt an old scar on hU furrowed
forehead, "he done it!"
Wagner to the Musicians.
His little admonition to the mu
sicians waH rnost characteristic anil
worthy to be tiloted by many an oi dies
tra of this dajl. "Gentlemen," tie huIiI
"I heg of you not to take my fort is
slmo too seriously' Where OU
ff' niiike a f' of It. und for iilano
piny pianissimo, Remembei bos man)
of you thii'io are down there agaliiBl
the one por single human ilunat ap
here alon on the stage "
It la i well to "hold harl when
writing 'letters Written words have
double vaijjht.
n
ASHINOTON. It la the desire of 8ec-
Wretary of State Knox as It was that
of Secretary Root, to put the couku
I lar service of the Vnlled Statea as
2JjiiFa nearly as it Ih possible so o do. upon
raxlan the plane of the civil service All
consular appointments today are
made largely upon the recomiiiendntlon of sena
tors and representatives and other men of politi
cal Influence, but the appointees are given places
of the lowest rank In the service and muat de
pend upon the excellence of their work to secure
promotion. Moreover they must pass a satisfac
tory examination before the department will as
sign them to posts of duty.
The administration, it is known, would be glad
If It were possible to apply civil service rules to
these appointments of ministers and ambassadors,
but aa the holders of these high Diplomatic offi
ces are forced to great expense of living, and their
salaries are comparatively small, no man
can become a first place representative
of his country abroad unless he belongs
to the class of the millionaires. The re- ,
suit of this Ih that in mnny cases money I
rather than ability fixes the appointments V
of some of our ministers and ambassa- Jf ,
dors. tl(k
In the past there were many literary m I If
men of standing but whose books did not I m
bring them in a large revenue, who ll
sought places In the consular service In It
order that they might have a regular In- I
come, comparatively little office work, W
and an oportunlty also to get the attnos II
phere of Europe or Asia or of some other -.) I
continent to give life and color to the I . i
bookH which they Intended to write. The V ,"
literary man to-day has to stand on the Bame I
level In seeking nn npimlntment as a conHUl aH
that occupied by ibe lawyer or the merchant.
There are not as many writers of books and es
says In the service to-day as there were in the
past, and In one way the I'nlted Stales govern
ment Is the loser thereby.
If some one would go far back through the files
of the state department nnd read the consular re
ports contained therein, he doubt less would run
across some clever bits of writing put on paper
by men who knew the art and who gave Interest
and color and life to some seemingly dry as dust
trade subject. It in very likely that the reports
t'.iHt Krancls Bret Harte wrote when be was consul
at Glasgow, Scotland, would make delightful read
ing even though they treated on the subject of
wool or. It may be, of Scotch whisky or Scotch
catlle. There huve been other literary men in the
service, some of them better known than Hret
Harto. It Is only necessary to give the names
of Washington Irving and Nathaniel Haw
thorne to prove the iiolnt. Not long ago In the
service abroad the government hud Albion W.
I'ourgee, Arthur Sherburne Hardy, James Jef
ficy Itoach, and George Hortou. Two of theBe
men died comparatively recently, but they lived
long enough to see some of their writings ap
pear In print as public documents and to know
that the manner In which they treated their
p4 W i lb ny ( War JXmc"T J-909
' v $( ;?C7rV JKSOraCTyi PArrfRoN
If Xyjf i
""JtSS Ba ilA'rsajH LslsassamBBBasw WmJaJ I gp
.4TjnJjjJiflff U.ttthJ rJLips
' ' v i W Tvkviwi 'II aw f"? ArF
vX Jflrf
scrub oak. and .
thickets of jWi
white and pur- r
pie gorse, fight-
lng stubbornly
for a hold upon the shift
ing sandH. with here and
there some straggling
groups of pine, the pro
testing Mimiins of a great
forest which wind and
sand, and tire, and water
had spared."
ThiH whs a description
3S535P5 frrrcA-MC !MfeciN TtttfflSv v rY. cyat
HiibJectB waB appreciated by thousunds of their
American countrymen.
Some of the other consuls abroad, men who
made no pretense to literary ability, have
turned In from time to time trade reports that
were pictureKque in their nature and written
with extreme cleverness. Not long ugo the gov
ernment decided to iHHiie In a form between a
pamphlet and a magazine the Dally Consular
Reports As the editor of Ibe pnlilic.ii inn u
veteran newspaper man, MaJ. John M. Carson.
h.i. appointed. With his tialnlng he bbw to It
that the best of the material received from the
consuls wnH given u place or prominence, and
1 e aucceeded in making of th consular report
h publication or real Interest
In the records or the depaitment there Is
one iipoit which from list first pai am api lioldn
the close attention of the render it was read
the oilier day by one who did not know until
the lust line wus reached whose liiind had been
at work in Uh willing The thought was. BCTS
1b something worth while.
The title of the article waa mply Refor
estation in Krunce," and the . st few lines
bowed little of luien st. Then lbs eye reMkod
ibis 'One aftci SBOthSf great waves of sand,
moved by fce restless winds that swept act'OBH
ihe Atlantic continued their unceasing march
across the lulr plains of southern Kiance, bury
n all before tbeni fields, meadows, vine
yards, houses, cbiircbeH, even villages- leaving
iiehlnil them only gru billows, to which clung
Lunches tif biacken, u few starved bushes of
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Bs BBresI fcsVST V BsT ssBBBsr fl flBBBfl
I snr '-' 'JsV " m W- I i ' StJsnV I
ffSPRSf(( ' St(PHms Harems Their I
ffjMffP toft J I
' I VrlTTTisMlp .T I
m lHsk'5 i II vLV' ysWsf H mWmf V gLsSJ
Iff ilv BtayViav I
b ml A J -olW' ' f issnste---sa L t snm v knsnsl
l V JsMlW' m yftlek Wv t H
of the Irresistible march of the gray sand
dunes from the shore of the Hay of Biscay to
wurd the heart of the most productive land
in Kurope. The description was embodied in
;i consul's report, and It was so utterly different
from the descriptions written by most consuls.
or b) their clerks, as Ih more often the caBe,
that the reader's eye and mind went on won
dering, with curiosity held in check until the
signal in e should come at the very end. The
i bought was that here un a consul or a clerk
who should be writing books Instead of com
mercial pamphlets intended for the eye of the
few. The story this official communication
is a story und nothing else leads to the final
planting of the pines under the direction of
Napoleon pines which saved the fields of
France
"Wherever ihe foot of the sand dune rested,
there was hopeless blight. A little wiry giass
grew In the shadow of the heather and gorse.
on which the sheep browsed nuclei the eyes of
solemn laced shepherds perched on stlltH and
knitting an they watched On and on crept the
phalanx of Ihe terrible dunes, slowly but surely
blighting all In tbeir path, not ouly dealing a
desert but destroying hope As long as the
winds blew from the west Ihe dunes inaiclied
to the east; the desert fires ravaged the Inter
veiling spaces; Hocks giew fewer, the, desola
lion mors exlieme. In Ihe heart of sunny
Fiance a desert was established, ever lncrcas
lug in extent anil threatening " stretch across
Its lairtsi Ileitis the urld - "a Sahara."
'"mWr rJf llMOUGtl 'DAMM6CI6 '-frmffC
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The official document then tells us In the
W'ords of Its contributor how Krunce was saved
bv the adoption of the Idea of Hremontier, one
of the sons or the seemingly doomed region.
The seeds of the pine, the "pin maritime" of
t lie French, were gathered and sprouted care
fully and the young trees were planted In
plSOSS "where the moving sands did not over
whelm them until their tough roots had taken
a firm hold, their wiry leaves, which loved the
briny spume, would offer no resistance to the
wind, and, falling about their roots, would give
shelter and nutriment until a forest grew which
would bold the Hands In check and save the
threatened Interior from desolation. "
It was Napoleon who seized upon the idea
of Hremontier. "His vision penetrated the
centuries and he bbw the march of the deadly
dunes arrested and the desert they had created
made to blossom like the rose."
The consul tells us that after a century has
passed the statue of Bremontier looks down
one of the great furrows which lie between the
dunes he showed how to conquer. To
day, as we are told, "the dark squad
rons of the pin maritime are posted on
i lion .11 1 ih- of sandy slopes, faithful guardians
In the shelter of which thevtneyards und wheat
fields rest secure. The gray dunes which were
sweeping over the land have become serried
fortresses which shelter civilization and pros
perity." At least one real live item was contributed
not long ago by (i. Hie Huvndal, lulled States
consul at Beirut, Syria, to the pages of the
consular reports. When this was put Into the
publication it Is probable that the editor-in-chief
wub on a vacation. Othsrwlss the Beirut
consul's tale would have bees put on ihe first
page Instead of being sandwiched In between
"Rubber Cultivation" and "Commercial Fail
ure In Germany."
ccoidlng to the consular report I'asha Ab
dul' Rahman at one time Imported into Damas
cus a booster steam threshing machine through
the agency of a gentleman named Michel Kl
rendi NaBser of Beirut. It Is the belief of Con
Hill Ravndul that the Indiana thresher will rout
the Bedouins of the desert, and he leads up
to this clliuux with u picturesque recital of the
facts attending the arrival of the machine and
its subseqin nt career. His tale of the thresh- H
er follows:
"Its triumphal march through Damascus M
stirred the White City of Hie Fast from center H
to circumference. On Its way into the country H
it broke down bridges innumerable, but pulled M
itself out or the creek beds beautifully, and it M
bad the honor or being slarted on Its pioneer M
career in the presence or Hie governor geneial H
of the province, the field marshal In command H
of the Fifth army corps and many other gen- M
tlemeii or high station in Ottoman civil and M
salUtary life. With its self reeder, automatic M
bagger, straw bruiser, etc., It is a marvel of in- H
genuity, and Its service to this country In bias- H
lng the way for labor saving machinery, with H
It accompany lug amelioration of industrial and H
social conditions In a region east of Mount M
Hermon, where people live and work a H4 H
their forefathers when Abraham crossed their M
past tires with his Chaldean flocks, Is beyond H
estimation. In the Hainan to-day thousands M
of acres arc lying Idle; they are likely now to B
be reclaimed, and the predatory Bedouin tribes H
who infest the country will have to retire he- H
fore the new order of things." H
Consular positions do not puy large Bums of H
money, but the IH,- Is In many respects an at- H
tractive one and there are always many ap- H
pllcants lor any vacancies which may exist H
It is virtually a necessity dial Hie person who H
desires u place in ihe consular service shall be H
able to Hpeak at lemst two modern languages; J
that Ib. one in addition to English. While the M
examinations are not supposed to lie hard some H
men who have been through college with credit H
ill their studies have tailed to answer properly H
enough of the questions put lo l hem to give H
them a hold on the service. H
At nines the (lilted States consuls have H
dangers lo encounter. It wus exceedingly un- H
pleasant In Spain lor some of I'nele Sam s H
representatives during the mouths just prist H
to the beginning of actual hostilities at Manila H
bay. In Chill and in Turkey within a compare- H
lively short I line the consuls DATS had oci asloa
to put up a brave front agalust the populace fH
ami to show the bluff thai the) were ia E
Fiesh in the memory of everybody Is ihe awful
time which ihe beleaguered legations bad with H
in the walls of "the. forbidden city" in China. IH
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