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title: 'The Garland globe. (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, July 31, 1909, Image 6',
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Image provided by: University of Utah, Marriott Library
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H tL WPKof-y-AGUARANTLL
M "The Gleam of a Moonbeam on
M the Water."
HHj This is one description of a din-
HHj mond, the most beautiful jewel on
HH earth. $150.00 per carat will buy
HHJ perfect cut, flawless diamond now.
HH Stock is limited. Advance certain. As-
HHj aortment of sizes. Each stone guar
HHJ B " iain it.
HI SALT LAKE CUT. UTAH.
bHHH 1"i A T1 1"" XT' TO Advice it to pii-ni-
PATENTS ss r,:X'r
HH 5i lttco and ascription of your invention.
HHjl Harry J. Robin.on, Attorney it Law and Solicitor
HB i P.t-nti. 304 5 Ml a Bu.l.lm,. Salt Lake City
M ARE ILL-MATED COMPANIONS
HB Remarkable Fact That Humor am'
HH Melancholy Seem Fond of Each
HB Other's Company.
BHJ Too often humor and melancholy go
HB together. They keep company like a
HB girl who likes to dance, and a fellow
HB who writes nice, gloomy poetry. They
HH fi tied together, but they don't hitch.
H They sympathize like oil and water
HB not. They tell us that some of the
Hl newspaper humorists, who actually
HH make people laugh, are sometimes
HB very glum and melancholy at home,
HH and can't see a Joke any quicker than
HB anybody else, when It's on themselves.
HH It'a too bad that a humorist should
DBl thus be'.'e his profession, but he's mor
Hi tal anyway--and who doesu't? It was
HH aald that Lincoln had to make Jokes
HH to relieve care. He said: "Were It not
HH for this occasional vent, I should die."
HH The vent of the humorist Is melan-
HH choly. Let him kick the cat, let hlra
HH complain of the oatmeal, let him look
BBJ glum as an owl he, too. Is entitled
Hfl to a little variety. Let him read "Bur-
BBJ ton's Anatomy of Melancholy," or
HB "Mrs. Caudle's Lectures" for that mat
HB tar he's entitled to something pen
HB aire. Dy the way Burton aforesaid
BH baa given In hlB "Anatomy" a plctur
HB esque description of mirth: "It Is," he
Hfl snys, "a principal engine to batter the
BBJ walls of melancholy." He must have
BH had horse-play In mind. Our ISea Is
I that humor Is a little eddy in tho rush
HI lug tuiii.tr. : in of life where a fellow
BH can rest awhile and fish.
M How He Kept His Clothes Dry.
HJ -Among a large shooting party on a
HJ Scottish grouse moor was a certain
BB elderly professor whose skill with his
Hi gun was hardly equal to the profundi-
HJ ty of his intellect. Suddenly a heavy
Hj etori.i of rain came on, and as there
HJ was no shelter on the moor the shoot-
Hm tfs got thoroughly drenched through.
HJ At least, all but one suffered the pro-
HJ feasor. He had mysteriously ill sap
Hb peered when the rain camo on, and he
Hj did not rejoin the party until the sur
HM was shining once more. To the
Hi amazement of the others the erudite
Hh one was as dry as a bone. The others
Hj drenched and disgusted, inquired ol
Hi blm how It was he had escaped i
Hi wetting "Directly the rain came on
Hb replied the professor, 'I went off by
Hf myself, stripped off my clothes, am.
HJ Kt on them until the storm was over."
HJ May Have Been Asleep.
HJ The man who cannot remember the
HJ text or aught of the sermon is hyp-
HJ notlzed or has worked himself into a
HJ trance, and sleepiness and inability to
HJ tell what the preacher has said must
HJ be considered as an Indication of a
HJ piety that has passed beyond the con-
Hj trol of its possessor or of attention
HJ so acute that it concentrates Itself on
HJ the words and race of the speaker, to
HJ the disregard of thought expressed by
HJ words Christian Advocate.
H Pat's Appreciation.
HJ An artist had finished a landscape;
H on looking up, he beheld an Irish niiv
HJ vy gazing at his canvas. "Well," said
H the artist, familiarly, "do you suppose
H you could make a picture like that?"
H The Irishman mopped hla forehead a
H moment. "Sure, a man c'n do anny-
H thing if he's druv to ut!" he replied.
H Steins Are Burglar Alarms.
H In a New York rathskeller they
H have devised a novel way to protect
HJ the ornamental steins on the ahelf
HJ running along the side of the room.
HJ bitch atands upon a burglar alarm con
HJ nectlon and when one la removed a
HJ contact Is made, a drop falls on the
HJ annunciator Indicating the position of
HJ the table and a bell rings. In a second
HJ half a dozen waiters are in attendance
HJ at that table and the stein goes back
HJ on lta peg. The proprietors have lost
HJ bo many valuable pieces of brie a brae
H that they were constrained to adopt
HJ ' tbte-BaeaaureBlnre lhfl.aJjmB.tjyi.teni
M has gone Into effect there have een
HJ many surprises, but no losses.
HJ Pity the Ponr Horse Fly.
HJ Every purchaser of a motor car dls-
HJ courages the life of the horse fly.
HJ Some sort of a bug or fly will have to
jH be Invented to bite autos and make
HJ them stamp, switch their tails, and
HJ kick up. We don't know what ef-
HJ feet a cinder beetle would have on
autos The question la referred to
Judge Adna P. Oriatlebone for an ex-
H pert opinion. Oaaawatomle (Kan.) I
Greater New York Is First, with
Clothing Heads Business In Gotham,
While Meat-Packing Holds First
Place in Illinois Metrop
olis, as Compiled.
Washington The Industrial dis
trict of Chicago, embracing an area
Of BOO square miles and a population I
of 1,815,10? In 1900, Is tho second In-j
dustrlal district In Importance In the
country, according to bulletin Just Is- i
sued by the bureau of the census. I
The figures upon which the comparl- I
sons are based are taken from the I
manufacturing census of 1900 and
1906. New York, of course, ranks first j
in Importance, while Philadelphia,
BbgtOB, the U-on and steel region
around Pittsburg, St Louis, Baltimore,
Cincinnati, Cleveland. Buffalo, Minne-apolls-St.
Paul, Snn Francisco and
Providence follow In the order named. I
The bulletin shows the influence of
the largo urban populations, with j
their enormous wealth and transpor- ,
tatlon facilities, upon the manufac
turers of the country.
The bulletin, which is a summary of
the conclusions reached In a long re
port, Illustrated with maps showing
the cities and townships In the dis
tricts, with the eteam and electric
railways, rivers and canals says:
"Products valued at 12,144,488,093
were manufactured In the factories of
the Industrial district of Greater New
York during the year 1904. The In
crease In the value of the output of
the entire district in 1904 as compared
with 1900 was over half a billion dol
lars ($530,220,746, or 32.8 per cent.).
The Increase Jn the number of per
sons engaged In these Industries was
140,906, the number of employes In
1904 being 735.460.
"The city ol Greater New York was
credited with products valued at $1,
626,235,006, or 71.2 per cent, of the
total value for the district In 1904.
In the 376 square miles that were
outside of the corporate limits of the
city, but were so closely allied with
it Industrially that they were Included
In the industrial district, the manufac
tured products were valued at MIT..
965,087. The increase In value for the
the city was 30.2 per cent., while for
the remainder or the district there was
a gain of 40 per cent.
"The manufacture of men's and
women's clothing was the foremost
industry In this district In 1904, tho
products being valued at nearly one
third of a billion dollars and constitut
ing 14.5 per cent, of the value of the
products of the entire district. The
average number of wage-earners em
ployed in the Industry was over two
per cent, of the entire population of
the district. The printing and pub
lishing industry ranked Becond; the
' I was Juat In time to see Blackle, for
whom 1 wouldn't take a thousand dol
lara. Jump after him.
"A life buoy was thrown out Imme
diately, and I stopped the Bhlp, or
dered the lifeboat lowered, and David
Iablster, the chief officer, went out in
ber and picked up both the dog and
the man. Within fifteen minutes
I from the time the Malay Jumped the
"the prince of wales.
v. jf "wT' Si
v 3hI j $ - ' W
H i !hhhhhhhhhbV i IbhI '"
From a recent photograph of the heir to the throne of Great Britain.
refining of sugar and molasses third,
the smelting and refining of copper,
lead and zinc fourth and the manufac
ture of textiles fifth, with products
aggregating over $465,000,000 in value.
"The industrial district of Chicago
comprised an aren of 500 equare mlLm
and had a population of 1.815,107 in
1900. The city of Chicago is credited
with 35.8 per cent, of the area and 93.6
per cent, of the population of the en
tire district. The vulue of products
for the district In 1904 was $970,974,
2S0; the number of wage-earners and
salaried persons employed, 288,869;
and the number of establishments
reported, 8,382. The increase in the
value of the products for the district
In 1904 as compared with 1900 wis
$164,489,639, or 20.4 per cent. The In
crease for Chicago alone was $157,
157,136, or 19.7 per cent., while the
gain for the surrounding places was
$7,332,503, or 85.6 per cent. Thus the
rate of gain for the section outside of
the central city was much greater
than that for the city Itself.
"Among the Industries, slaughtering
and meatpacking was the first n
value of products, with $269,581,486.
or 27.8 per cent, of the total value of
SEEKS DEATH AT SEA
Two Men and Dog Jump Over
board. Malay and Lascar of the Crew of
the British Steamship Kabinga
Delay Vessel in Vain Attempt
to Commit Suicide.
New York When the British
steamship Kabinga came Into port
the other day from Calcutta and other
far eastern ports, Capt. J. Arthur
Smith, her commander, had a yarn
Furthermore, every word that Capt.
Smith said 1b corroborated by the
ship's log ,and are not Abdul bin
Mohammed, the ship's quartermaster,
whose grandfather was a Malay pirate
and who looks as If he ought to have
been; one Sheikh Monwaralla, a I .as
car fireman, whose father once made
a pilgrimage to Mecca, and, above all,
Blackle, the Japanese dog, on hand to
support 'ho captain's testimony. If
support were needed? Both men
Jumped overboard during tbe voyage
in an effort to commit suicide, and bo
attached was Blackle to the Malay
that be followed him into the eea.
"On the morning of the 5th, five
days out from Calcutta, aa we were
coming down the Bay of Bengal," Bald
Capt. Smith, "I was finishing my
breakfast, at five mlnutea before
-ajtgMr 4in- L. bjjaL Ulg cry, -lMa,i
overboard!' I rushed out upon Hie
bridge and found that Abdul had
Jumped Into tbe eea. As I came out
rescue had been effected and we
were on our way again.
"I aBked the Malay why he wanted
to die, but all I could get out of him
was, 'Me tired work."
"Well, one attempt at suicide is
enough for any one voyage. But I'll
be blessed If on the night of the next
day a Lascar fireman, who goes by
tbe title of Sheikh Monwaralla, did
not go and try the same game.
"It was pitch dark at tr time, but
we carry a new patent life buoy that
sends up a flare of light as soon ae t
is thrown overboard. One was thrown
after Monwaralla, a boat was launched
immediately and within twenty-two
minutes we had tbe Lascar on board."
Child la Offered for $500.
New York. Harry Beach, 23 years
old and out of employment, and his
wife, both of whom have been hungry
much of late, have offered their two-week-old
baby for sale for $500 cash.
When Beach's first wife died, two
years ago, she left him with two chil
dren and he married bis present wife
six months later. In discussing their
offer of the new baby for sale Beach
and his wife said that to keep the
child would only inflict their hard
ships upon him and that by selling
the boy they would provide him with
a good home and bring prosperity to
The flat dwejler stood In her kltch
enTlookTng" across TneaTeT)n-the-next
floor at the man who stood In his
kitchen at the sink, washing the
dishes. The man bad some hair, but
not much. The flat dweller looked at
him a while, then sighed and went to
work washing her own dishes.
"I don't know why It Is," she said to
hriseli, there being nobody else In
the kitchen but the mice to talk to,
"that it is bo much sadder to Sis a
bald-headed man washing disheti 15 n
a man with hair."
the manufactured products of the
Chicago district. The steel Industry,
the manufacture of foundry and ma
chine shop products and the printing
and publishing industry were of great
Importance, with aggregate products
valued at $230,413,938."
FATHER OF THIRTY CHILDREN.
John Guy, Maryland Farmer, Thrice
Married, Still Robust and
Beaver Dam, Md. Col. Roosevelt
started for Africa before being ac
quainted with the fact that one of the
best exponents of his anti-race suicide
theory Is John W. 'Hy, who has been
the father of 30 children, 20 eons and
ten daughters, of whom there are 21
living, his eldest child, a son, being 53
years old, his youngest, a daughter,
being two years of age.
Ouy, who Is a farmer, resides about
one mile from Melfa station, on the
New York, Philadelphia & Norfolk
railroad, and was 75 years old on
In U55 he was married to Mary Ann
Rayfleld, a farmer's daughter, and to
this union seven children were born.
On September 12, 1868, he married
Miss Margaret Elizabeth Ayers, after
a romantic elonement. who bore him
18 children. His third wife was Miss
Lola Crockett, a beautiful girl of 16
years, whom he married when In his
sixty-fifth year, In 1898. To this union
five children have been born.
Despite the fact that 16 of hlB chil
dren are married, he lias only 23
grandchildren and three great-grand
children. One of Guy's sons, by his
first marriage, married a sister of his
present wife, and a daughter by his
second wife married a brother of hla
present wife. Although well advanced
In years, Guy still is robust and
hearty, without a bend In his body or
a gray hair, and he may be seen each
day working on the farm with his
REASON FOR SWINGING ARMS.
la a Reminder of the Days When We
Walked on All Fours, Says
London. Sir Victor Horsley, lectur
ing before a medical society, explained
the habit of swinging the arms when
walking. He said it was unnecessary
and a relic of days when we walked
on all fours. He said we still keep on
moving all four drubs alternately when
we walk upright.
Sir Victor set forth tome ideas con
cerning the functions of the cerebel
lum. Primarily the cerebellum must
be regarded, said the lecturer, as an
organ which has an Important part In
correct performance of many of our
Walking, standing, running are ex
amples of such actions, he said, which
-cannot, be. -accnjat.eJi.caju:lado.uJ; with
out normal, well balanced cerebellum.
New-born animals, he said, cannot
stand. They sprawl, and before they
can stand or walk or run there must
be a development of the cerebellum.
In proof of this Sir Victor pointed
out that the cerebellum of a full
grown cat showed fully developed cells
and fibers, whereas in the brains of
new-boru kP.tens this portion 1b not
yet organized Into active neive tla-sues.
COULDN'T GET SI TO ENTHUSE M
Hired Man'a Remarks Could Hardly
Be Said to Be in Nature of
of Compliment. JK
The young lawyer, havifig been
nominated for the office of county at-
torney, thought to surprise an eccen
tric genius by the name of SI who
was working as a hired man on the
young lawyer's father's farm. SU
"Well, Si, what do you think?" the Jp
young man began i
"Sometimes one thing, Lonny, an'
sometimes 'nother." jj
"But, SI, they have nominated me . 'HJ
for county attorney."
"They might 'a' done worse, Lon
ny. Howsomever, don't holler till
you're out of the woods."
The young attorney was duly
elected, and on his next visit to the
farm announced the fact unctuously
to SI, who was at the woodpile, saw
"Well. SI. I am elected by a large
majority. What do you think of
"Well, Lonny, down In our parts
where I was raised, when we wanted
a stopper V hadn't any cork, we
generally took a corn cob." Youth's
I SBS3K " 1
fflrte I I
"jLiLfcy ?w.- 3Hp
1 jjIffflHBi I
Man in the Water Help! Help!
Droll Gent What! you don't need
help to drown, man.
The Thrifty Scot.
A Scotsman and his wife were com
ing from Lelth to London by boat.
When off the Yorkshire coast a great
storm arose and the vessel had sev
eral narrow escapes from foundering
"Oh, Sandy," moaned his wife, "I'm
na afenrd o' deein', but I dinna care
to dee at sea."
"Dlnna think o' deein' yet," an
swered Sandy; "but when ye do, ye'd
better be drooned at sea than any
"An' why, Sandy?" asked his wife.
"Why?" exclaimed Sandy. "Because
ye wouldn't cost sae muckle to bury."
1'nder the auspices of the Swedish
National League Against Tuberculo
sis, the International Tuberculosis con
ference held Its annual meeting in
Stockholm July 8 to 10. Among the
American speakers on the program f
ere Dr. Hermann M. Biggs of New
York and Dr. John C. Wise, medical
director of the I'nited States navy,
who was the official representative of
this country. Two subjects of special
interest discussed were: "Care of
Tuberculous Families, Especially of
Healthy Children," and "Tuberculosis
and the Schools."
Doctor's Test of Food.
A doctor in Kansas experimented
with his boy In a test of food and
gives the particulars. He says:
"I naturally watch the affect of dif
ferent foods on patients. My own lit
tle son, a lad of four, had been ill
with pneumonia and during his conva
lescence did not seem to care for any
kind of food.
"I knew something of Grape-Nuts
and its rather fascinating flavor, and
particularly of its nourishing and
nerve-building powers, bo I started the
boy on Grape-Nuts and found from
the first dish that he liked it.
"His mother gave It to him steadily
and he began to improve at once. In
less than a month he had gained
about eight pounds and soon becarae
so well and strong we had no fuuher
anxiety about him.
"An old patient of mine, 73 years
old, came down with serious stomach
trouble and before I was called had
got so weak he could eat almost noth- "T"
lng, and was In a serious condition.
He had tried almost every kind of
food for the sick without avail.
"I immediately put him on Grape
Nuts with good, rich milk and just a
little pinch of sugar. He exclaimed
when I came next day 'Why doctor I
never ate anything so good or that
made me feel so much stronger.'
"I am pleased to say that he got
well on Crape Nuts, but he had to
stick to It for two or three weeks,
then he began to branch out a little
with Tlce or nn gg or -two.- He -got
entirely well in spite of his almost
hopeless condition. He gained 22
pounds In two months which at his
age is remarkable.
"I could quote a list of cases where ,S
Grape Nuts has worked wonders."
"There's a Reason." Read "The
Road to Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read (he nbove letter? A new
one appear from tin,, i., time, i i,. ,
re genuine, true, and full of human