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THE OBJECT HE HAD IN VIEW
Farmer Had Not Much Expectation
of Turkeys, But He Was Not
A Rhode Island farmer set a ban-
tnm hen on 14 turkey prrs, nnd ureat
was the scandal thereof throughout
the neighborhood. Friends from far
and near dropped In for to see and
for to admire the freakish feat.
"Sa-ay, Silas," asked envious Hiram
j Haggers, "haow many turkeys d' yew
cal'late ter git outer them algs?"
'- "Oh, shucks!" Silas answered. "I
ain't cal'latin' V git many turkeys. I
Jest admire V see that pesky little
critter a-spreadin' herself." Harper's
WHY, OF COURSE.
I rr JsiBEm A-ss BsW
vTj ! sV
' ''aBV BBBBBtl V aaaaral P- 1
''H 1 Aasaau j vJO
"Farmer, which of those cows of
yours gives the buttermilk?"
"None of 'em. The goat"
The city man was jogging on to
ward th- summer boarding-house in
a rickety old wagon. The driver was
glum and far from entertaining, and
y the city man felt rather lonely.
"Fine field over there," he ventured,
' after a long silence.
"Fine," grunted the driver.
"Who owns it?"
"Old man Bitt."
"Old man Bitt, eh? Who are those
children stacking up hay?"
"Old man Ultt'a boys."
"Aii'l what is his idea in having
them out there in the field such a hot
"Wal, I reckon he thinks every lit
tle Bitt helps, stranger. Anything
else you want to know? Get up here,
"A Cheap Skate."
"Joel Chandler Harris," said an At-
i lantan, "used to write comic newspa-
per editorials. Sometimes he made
fun of other editors in them, too.
"Simon Simpson, a rival editor in
Mobile, having been made fun of,
wrote angrily in his rage:
" 'Joel Harris has been getting off
some cheap wit at our expense.'
"Joel, on reading this, grabbed his
pen and dashed off, quick as a flash,
for next day's issue:
" 'It must have been cheap, Simon,
to be at your expense.' "
"your tickets were complimentary,
were they not?"
"Well," replied the man who had
seen a painfully amateur entertain
ment, "I thought they were until I
saw the show."
For Benefit of Women who
Suffer from Female Ills
Minneapolis, Minn. "I was a great
sufferer from female troubles which
I caused a weakness
tMadjgljL and broken down
M;IPl condition of the
jskNw !? system. I read bo
m ' much of what Lydia
w Wb T w ' I'iukham'a veg
Kv ; etable Compound
Ljf had done for other
Lt suffering women I
j. felt sure it would
oalj help me, and I must
fc-pb- N say ne me
T fliam wondei fully. My
I i Hi H pains all left me, 1
grew stronger, and within three montht
I was a perfectly well woman.
"I want this letter made public to
show the benefit women may derive
from Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound." Mrs. John G. Mo loan,
2115 Second St., North, Minneapolis,
Thousands of unsolicited and genu
ine testimonials like the above prove
the efficiency of Lydia E. Pinkham'a
Vegetable Compound, which is made
exclusively from roots and herbs.
Women who suffer from those dis-
not lose sight of these facts or doubt
the ability of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound to restore their
If yon want special advice write
to Mrs. Pinkhaui, at Lynn, Mass.
She will treatyourletterasstrictly
confidential. For 20 years she
has hcen helping sick women in
this way, free of charge. Don t
hesitate write at once.
Two hotels and seven houses nt
Long Mranch, N. J., were destroyed
by Are, causing a loss of $100,000.
A strike in every city an'l town in
Oklahoma In support of the eight hour
law, involving 30,000 laborers, is pre
dicted. Iwenty workmen were killed and
a large number Injured at St. Peters
burg by the collapse of a building In
Course of construction.
The prosecutors of Harry Thaw are
criticised and Insanity experts scored
In a twenty-page booklet, which Mrs.
Mary Copley Thaw, mother of Thaw,
issued last week.
Seven men are dead apd one man
in dying as a result of an explosion
of dynamite at Vails, N. J., where a
branch line of the Susquehanna rail
road Is under construction.
The Russian admiralty has decided
not to send any warships either to
the Hudson Pulton celebration In
New York or the portola festival ot
San Francisco in the autumn.
Secretary Meyer has ruled that the
spreadeagle figureheads which are to
be removed from warships of the navy
may be loaned to the states or cities
for which vessels are named.
Hy the recklessness of a chauffeur,
who attempted to cross the railroad
in front of a passenger train at San
Diego, Cal., seven people, occupants
of the automobile, were seriously in
jured. i.ouls Brown. 9 years old, whlK'
playing ball at Pittsburg, tried to
catch a fly batted into lert field. The
lad stepped off a steep embankment
into the Allegheny river and was
A dispatch to the Ixrndon Times
from Teheran, reviewing the situa
tion, says both Great Britain and
Russia will be thankful to withdraw
and let the Persians work out their
Miss Eliza Warren, a well-known
actress and head of a local school of
elocution and acting, probably was fa
tally stabbed at Cleveland, O., by her
sister, Mrs. Mary Sutton, who was
Without firing a shot, a mob took
Albert Lawson, the negro who shot
Sheriff R. M. Compton, at Parl3,
Tenn., from the Parts jail and hanged
him to a tree. Thirty minutes later
the body was cut down.
Jose E. Tiperina was killed, Cayet
tano l.jpi-y. badly wounded and two
other Mexicans were shot near McAl
len, Texas, by Deputy Sheila' i. l.
Mayfleld. The deputy was trying to
arrest the men for gambling.
Emphatic denal of the report from
Mexico City that the United States
contemplates establishing a protector
ate over Honduras is made by state
department officials. Statements of
that character, they salu, were merely
Capt. Peter C. Halns, Jr., improv
ing it, e time he via., seuienceu to
serve in Sing Sing for killing William
E. Annis, has invented an appliance
that is said to have Increased the ef-
nciency ot a struet-cleuulng machine
used in New York.
"The Ella Glngles case is abso
lutely closed so far as this office is
concerned," said State's Attorney
Weyman, one day last week. "If Ella
tries to bring additional charges
against Miss Barrette, I shall tell her
to keep out of my office."
A party of twenty-flve senators and
members of the house is preparing to
visit Hawaii. The visit will be in re
sponse to an invitation extended by
the Hawaiian legislature at its last
session, and the party will sail from
Sun Francisco August 24.
Within a few feet of his bride ot
four weeks, George Click Orr, aged
22 years, an attorney of Atchison,
Kan., was drowned while bathing In
the surf at the south beach of Lit
jola, Cal. He went into the surf, and
a strong breaker drew him under.
Stanley Ketchel, the champion mid
dleweight pugilist, was painfully in
jured by being thrown against the
front of the automobile in which he
was riding when the machine collided
with a wagon in San Francisco. It
was feared at first that his arm had
The Iowa board of pardons has rec
ommended an unconditional pardon
for Francis Smith, son of the author
of the hymn "America," who was con
victed five years ago and sentenced1
to the penitentiary for eleven years
on charges of perjury, larceny and
The suffragettes who recently were
sent to prison for taking part in dis
turbances in Downing street, London,
wero liberated from Holloway jail last
week ua Vhe result of "hunger strike."
food for 126 hours. She is now un
der medical care.
An appeal has been made by Ital
lans of Plttston to the Italian consul
for an official inquiry into the death
of Fedelar Lardenz, who shot two
men at Plltstou and was then said to
have killed himself to avoid belna
lynched. Lardenz's friends believe Ua
was killed by a mob
!& 1 .1 Ad I II lllil T,, Kiml Yo" IInvo Alw,l Bought, and which 1ms been M
ImS:? 1 "'ll iu uso for ovor 3 years, 1ms homo tho signatnro of H
Hii M.u. ,:,itr!ggrrr 11 ml li: lw-i-n ninln mul.T Ma Wf- H
HHil AHOHOL 3 pER cknt. , (f?-?;-, Sonal supervision since its Infancy. M
wfam AWtfetable Prcparafton firAs A 0mlH Allow no one to deceive you In this, H
'M Slmil.llin$lhrF(Mf,imlRr0til,i All Counterfeits, lmitatlous and" Jnst-as-good " are bnt M
pWE 'wcSiomacitsnndliowlsof Experiments that triilo with and endanger the health of 1
Sa56'" k TlfTRTTTnTi Infants and Children Experience against ICxporinicnt. H
ill iToffioinwrfs What Is CASTORIA I
8Jc m'ssanrlRi'sl.CtiiUalnsnfillWf ... - . , , , , , H
S2o ' Opium.Mornhinc norMiueraL Castorla Is a harmless snhstltute for Castor Oil, Pare- M
?" NOT NARCOTIC. gorlc, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant. It 1
'3 .... contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotio H
rji A&tatoMIk2lMLmam substance. Its age Is Its guarantee. It destroys Worms M
;"" flrut W- and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind H
8w . AMuliti- J Colic. It relievos Teething Troubles, cures Constipation M
&3i hafarf ( and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the H
p -? f jn&fjb Btomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. M
isflffi VtS&f' I Tl Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend. H
'.0 AncrfcrtRcnipdyTorroinftpj GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS M
$& lion. Sour Stonach.Dlarrhofj r s ws -
i,1g5,U WormsjConvulskms.Fevcri$k Bears the Signature 01 . M
ly ncssatulL0SS0FSLLP. mimm M
'aSj FacSumlf SinmrtnT f s Sf 7 J jf j" 1
fe NEW YORK. WttYj VVt
m saM The Kind You Have Always Bought I I
kWEST naarantccdundeiTneKooda U m
mmimmuhm 1 In Use For Over 30 Years
Exact Copy Of Wrapper. Tt oim oo.mi, tt .utiMiT. lTOin. H
CALLING DOWN THE BOASTER
Good Little Story Told by William
Dean Howells as a Rebuke to
"It was William Dean Howells,"
paid a Chicago editor, "who first re
buked un AtnerlranB for our spread
eagleism, for our foolish boasting. I
see that Mr. Howells has Just Joined
a men's society for the promotion of
woman suffrage. Trust him to be in
the forefront always.
"I once heard Mr. Howells deliver a
fourth of July oration in Maine. The
nrrtor preceding him had boasted a
good deal. Mr. Howells showed that
some of the man's boasts were even
"He said that these spread-eagle
boasters deserved the rebuke that the
little child administered to the cack
ling hen that had Just laid an egg.
The child, angered by the hen's con
tinuous cawk-cawk-cawk, cawk-cawk-cawkcawk,
shook his little finger at
her and said:
" 'You fink you're smart. But Dod
made dat egg. You touldn't help but
SKIN ERUPTION CURED.
Was So Sore, Irritating and Painful
That Little Sufferer Could Not Sleep
Cuticura's Efficacy Clearly Proven.
"When about two and a half years
old my daughter broke out on her hips
and the upper parts of her legs with a
very irritating and painful eruption, it
began in October; tho first I noticed
was a little red surface and a constant
desire on her part to scratch her limbs.
She could not sleep and tho eruptions
got sore, and yellow water came out
of them. I had two doctors treat her,
but she grew worse under their treat
ment. Then I bought tho Cutlcura
Remedies and only used them two
weeks when sho was entirely well.
This was in February. She has never
had another rough place on her skin,
and sho is now fourteen years old.
Mrs. R. R. Whltaker, Winchester,
Tonn., Sept 22, 1908."
Potter Drug & Cbeoi. Corp., Bole Prop,., Boston.
Privilege of English Husband.
A wife who complained at the
Marylebone police court in London the
other day that her husband used
abusive language to her was informed
by Mr. Plowden that this was one of
a husband's privileges.
"You must put up with, it," the mag
istrate told her. "lletter an abusive
husband than no husband at all"
"But T have had so many years of
this kind of thing," she protested.
"I cyinnot give yotl nny redress,"
Mr. Plowden replied. "You must ex
pect a certain amount of abuse in this
WeM, Not Very Often.
Tho little da"ugh"teroT 'allepiIOTciuV
candidate for a local office sown in
Philadelphia, when told that her fa
ther had received the nomination,
looked serious for a moment, then her
wee voice trembled a bit aB she ex
claimed: "Oh, mamma! do hey often die of
Spring Poet Yes, sir; I can write
about anything, sir.
Irate Editor Well, then, suppose
you Just right-about face and head for
"The Autocrat," remarked the Re
condite Person, "made a remark the
import of which escaped me until the
other day. He said: 'Many a man
has a reputation because of the repu
tation he expects to have some day.' "
"That's not a half bad remark," sug
gested the Practical Person, "but my
son Just out from, college, you know,
and In the habit of thinking hump
backed thoughts, as it were suld
something only this morning that ap
pealed to me: 'Some men,' he said,
'get a reputation and keep It; other
men get a reputation and make It
keep them.' "
A Baseball Preacher.
It was Just at the beginning of the
baseball season when an Episcopal
clergyman, who is an ardent and en
thusiastic lover of the great American
gume, inadvertently remarked at the
end of the portion of Scriptures which
"Here endeth the first innings."
Then he woke up.
It id a mother's duty to keep conRtnntly
on hand Rome reliable renuMly for UM in
case of Hidden accident or inMiap to the
children. Hand ms Wizard Oil can be
depended upon for juHt ouch emergencies.
When a fellow begins to feel that
he couldn't live without a certain girl,
he ought to marry her and Bee.
FKKKY WAVIS' PA INK I I.I.KH
for all soriH nf cuts, him. hum n ml Mralns.
'l.ilci-n 1 1 T niitlly It cures 'ti irrhr.i ;mil tl) t, iihiy.
Avoid substitutes. .e, &c ami MJe.
He never has a message who does
i not know how to listen.
Mrs. Wlnalow'a Hnotlilna; s, nip.
For children leetlilng , .oftenn tho gum., reduce. In
D.niiuutlou, alia) palu, cure, wlud collu. 23c a oolt.e.
Duty has a stem face only when
, looked at askance.
BHkjdssflZ mTwMJjEifni ilun
tBItt li .1 -1 TIM r - Ndilijr
W. N. U., Salt Lake City, No. 31-190. M
' - H
CAMPBELL SUB -SURFACE H i
We me III.- S"l.-sH fc Thi. it J I
this .,u M
Sub-Surlaru Packor, have heard 1
ilic i. ill) ono nH evorvono talk 1
made. lJB ''"" "'"'"'-
! A Hilt A A AffflAiH I
I Send for our Special Pamphlet en Sab- if H
I Surface Packing, the bent known ayitem II H
J for "dry farming," a method of absolutely M
insuring bumjicr crops with minimum H
rainfall the salvation of semi-arid regions. H
This packer is made in two sizes, with to
and 16 wheels, is heavy and strong, and H
the frame is made to carry all the extra H
weight needed. Ask (or Catalog No. Wt H
Parlln t Orendorff Co., H
Portl.nd. Ore. CANTON. ILL. Spokaoa, Wash. M
IUlsh I niplcmenl-Vehltle Co., Sail lake City, lllak. H
Burton Impleneat Co.. Ocden, Ulsk. M
Rlchllcld Implemeat to., Rlchtlcld, Utsk. H
Saakc Itivsr Implement Co., Barky, lash. H
sick Sad ache I
rrrriPolvely cured by H
CARTERS ,hese Lm,e puu- I
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Wm f e dnena, Naif M
B J rl LLv Hea iM-m-. .in,--.-., n.idi H
H M Taate In the Mouth, Coat- H
ORdnpjHM ..I 'I '.in vin , l'n in In ilia H
mmmTmml If Ida, l VICE. 1
I l'liej regulate the Ilowela. Purely Vegetable. H
l SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE.
iniQTCD'cl Genuine Must Bear ," H
WHItKd Fac-Simile Signature
I SS f I
Hal 1 REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
"I have used your valuable Cascareta t
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some time for indigestion and biliousnesa H
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will never be without them, -in the H
family." Edward A. Marx, Albany, N. Y. H
fleasant. Palatable. Potent, Tasta Good. H
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10c. 2Sc, 50c. Never sold in bulk. 'I'lie gea- 91
ulna tablet Rtataped C C C. Guaranteed to M
cure or your money back. U2B M
I V&8XW electrotypes! I
6 In rem variety for wle ut Uuilowi-hl urines-1,. I Bssl
iWltgTKHM MWUFtl-kK IHM. I. w. llU,. s Yu,,
AQQAYQmte" I 1
as as .Tl Jaa W J (),iW.75 UlaiiJ M
I ,23J53tr hilver. II.UU: (iold, !
BHvit SM CTiiiiM-?; r(l.T7r)TiT armrmivei leliaasl-,- .
ami limiiilil. Write fur tree mulling Hacks. 9
(K.IIINAKS.VVIO.. I4SS Iv.rl H.e., Dmr, OsL H
WAUTprt ' '"' '" - i r -i ti.-. - m.-ii. Wo give big nay H
nNnir.ll and uioiuoteuy Hytrteuof KiintH. Wa M
pay tor ability to buMnesh getler. Si-ud II tor book, R
upblteittlon blank und IriHtruetlop. how tu win aa obb
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DEFIANCE STIRCH ftJftSSL I
MMMsaaV i w' IbsbbI
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