Newspaper Page Text
H Holding Hands.
H Mr. Hqll Klbbcy Bpcnt Sunday night
BBBB1 with -Ml sb IUhhIu Walsh, holding hnnu.
BBBB1 Ttlnnnilngdalc correspondent Hilton (Wis.)
In iho tnttcroil linzc of a vision old
BBBB 1 page thruuKh the years that tho mists
BBBB1 , .
BBBBl At a sacred niche In a grcit best room
B W'lltfr; J once held hands In the friendly
H 'V Aid.KI0hdd U'.fchi tlRht with a l"lrn caress,
BBBB Whllo I bugged tho mnldcu to say me
H Then I pressed her close to exultant
BBS In tlto sllenco there. In tho nlcho apart!
BBBB Ob, the truHt and liujic of an unscarro
BBBB-' As It Joys, unntunc by thorn or tooth 1
BBS How we felt tho world was nglow with
BBBB-1 As wo sat alone In tho clouds nbovol
B Oh, reluctant hnndsl Oh, thoso lovc-wnrm
BBBBb As thty tender grow 'nenth affection s
BBBBI I cm feel them now In my sordid room
BJBBBJ Hut beyond Is the liazu whoro tho shad-
BBBBB l'"or shu llos nslerp on the wooded hill
BBBBB In that holy ground where the world Is
H Hut my heart knows well when the trum-
BBBflBJ pet calls.
BBBBB When the end Is here and tho black
BBBBBJ Thiro nro soft whlto hnnds all npulse wl'h
BHBBl To carcjs and hold In the land above!
H Very Exclusive.
H-' Thoy do strango things out In Wnsh-
H Ington sometimes. At Harrington two
H bachelor r-huinti went visiting, mid
H while absent ono of them, renouncing
H bohomlnnlsm and celibacy, was se-
H crotly married. Tho bride nnd groom
H reached homo first nnd rctlrod In tho
H bachelor apartments which tho two
H chums had occupied In common. In
H tho night tho remaining bacholor ro-
V turned and entering prepared for rest.
H caring his friend peacefully sleeping
H ho decided to get Into bed without a
B light. Tho resufts wero somewhat ox-
H citing, but after tho firo brigade had
H NOT III3 WEDDING.
T the Savior of mankind juld.m
n-irrKoirrtoirOnuea' to bo so
H 4 '5:j?itjbxc1u8Ivo tho bacholor had to hunt
K anothor couch on which to court Mor-
H pheus that night. Now what do you
H J Married.
BBP ' Fold summer gowns and place
BBB-I In scented, cedar chest.
BBBH Tho screen door wul.it nnd slclrt,
Bpjt Tho hoso and all tho rcstl
A Hunt madly through the house
BBBBJL - For furs and heavy wraps,
BBBB Shako moth-balls from the folds
And find the winter caps!
H Bring on tho thread and cloth,
BBBB ' Tho sewing girl nnd shears;
BBBBl Qot busy with the stuff
BpB,. And spurn your hubby's sneers!
BBrJ Tho tlmo of year has como
BBBBl When you must spend a lot,
BBBBL 'For when you como out new
BBBBL Tour clothes must touch tho spot!
BBBBl s' How can I Joke nnd sing -
BBBBL. Of this, light verses make,
BBBBBBM When even now my purse
BH 1 Jo flattened llko a (pan) cake?
Four eagles for a hat,
BBBBBl Twclvo dollars for some braid,
BBBflP- Five extra belts at ten
MMMM How can I stand tho raid?
H Six twenties for the silk.
BJBBBJ A couple moro for shoes
BBBBM ! 'No wonder that n man
BpBpMpJ ", Is cross and gets the blucsl
H Bo fold tho gowns nnd laco,
BBBJBJBj. Tut nimy things away,
BBBBBBB Just Hpcnd and sew and rip,
mmmMMm And 1 the bills will pay!
BBW A Sorry Plight.
mw.,r v Two hilarious companions with un-
T stable equilibrium wero standing
L 'f on a corner in tho suburbs, yes-
P " 'terday, much engrossed. One was
B without a hat.
H j. Passing along a neglected, vacant
Br" lot, tho hatloss mnn had evidently
y gallon head foremost into a patch of
HF Iprlckly, sticky burrs.
m Ills companion, steadying himself as
V ,best ho might, was picking tho stick
B STINOETII LIKE AN ADDEH.
fl. ors from the hair of tho unfortunate
H who was shaken with conflicting emo
B tlons of laughter and pain.
BBBkl Perhaps tho Dlblo bad burrs In mind
r whon it warned thafVstrons drlnlx
H fltirigeth llko an adder!
I Lyre Lisps and0ther Mention I
f B y HARLAN Fl . BABCOOk
SETTIN' 'ROUND THE FIREPLACE.
When tho lonvos commence a-turnln- m'the air begins to blto;
When it's bracin' in tho daytime, i" ScvlspyHIco at night;
..,.,.. Whon ,you ,fccl ke shoatln' "Glory!" every tlroo ypu.
iSS&l w, brGn.tl10 ll '";
Mm I01"0 hU"Fry cver7 mlnutoyos' nn' thlr8tlr'n
!Oi WMm Thn got 80 awful happy when tho chores has nil been
JjjfVw w) H ' dono, vu
"JzJJ&Jh: fkMv?J el ,6ui my hormonlcy, nil ready, for lhofttnc-.
tTS? ,; T!int v0 havo most every cvcnln' 'round tho fireplace,
Ttt(WM wl'ero wo set
Ws2&$5ihy. Toll,n' 6trloB an' a-drlnkln' all tins elder wo can got.
,A ' Maw fiho s,ts tho "t8 an' nDDlea-baked ones, Juicy, big an'
v"... 9 PP3 lo corn an' says, "My gracious! what a lot of stuff to
Paw goes out an' draws 'tho cider, sweat but nappy, in tho jug
I in tho ono that alliii pours U-ovor'body riU a mug.
Wlmmen folks tnko thelr'n plain Bnys JfBt Uiotit tho "blto;"
Dad nn mo takes our'n with "ilxlnW homIh' ttoritfi to innko us tight
Jost a little dash of homo-mndo popper saucb to nuV.o It "nip"
ltcd-hot poker makes it sizzle-drink 'or down an' kill tho grip!
Oh! I'm hnppy, happy, hnppy. when the fun Is goto' on,
An' I'm hnpplost of all when Maw she paya to me "Now, John,
You an' Susie play somo music, whllo your paw an'" me'll
So I tunc up my hnrmonlcy nn glvo 'cm onnythlng- tJJ X&
"Homo, Sweet Homo," "Tho Swaneo River," "Harvest Moon" ffl ' 'ILU,
an' "Nelllo Gray" Mb J
Slater fingers tho melod'on, nn' you ought to heafus play! Whjf
Why, it's bcttcr'n onny circus, so tho neighbors all do- Sao )J
Say It makes 'em feel so skittish llko they didn't havo a Wv 1M
I oxpect up in tho city, where tho tony folks hang out l0 " "
That they have some starchy doln's an' I've hecrd'thoy ti?
gad about i i
Llko all sixty to them bankwits, jost dressed up ff fer to '
Flllln' up on high-priced vlttlcs wlno an' such like stuff until
They ro just sick nn' got tho headacho. Ain't no fun In that fcr mo
GImmo cider, apples, popcorn, an' n heart that's light an' free;
Gimmo mother an' tho music; glmmo father an' the farm
Its as sweot to mo as heaven, an' it's Jest as froeirom hnrra.
' X X X
When Adam awoko Just at dusk and saw his Htfcd floating rib standing
before him in tho form of a beauteous female (tho vcr oilo of his dreams),
attired not In choico raiment, but wearing Blmply a smile and a fig leaf, ho did
not get fresh and say, "Good morning, Carrie!" He just towed very pollto-liko
to tho lady and said, "Good Evo." And that's how sho got her name.
v v i
IT HAS JUST BEEN DISCOVERED.
That Mary's lamb had fleas as well as fleece. I
That tho boy who stood on the burning deck was po)ter player and had
decks to burn. jVJi
That tho man who wroto "Beautiful Sno"'",1?! In a hot climate,
ff&l'"!-""-' fr'fri' Tniilrt'Trrl t nr'T1 V
l3.3x;ctii)ofcnlidren"ln tho "B" class nro most apt to havo hives.
That Noah and not Edison was tho Inventor of tho ark light.
That tho Old Maids' Association ha3 started a crusade to have tho Islo of
Man blotted out of nil tho geographies.
That tho Naples authorities havo at laHt succeeded in stopping- tho erup
tions of Vesuvius by tho uso of sulphur and molasses.
That In Missouri thoy call chewing gum statistics "wax" figures.
That tho reason Georgo Washington cut down tho cherry treo was to glvo
his father a chanco to got a reputation.
That Evo was tho originator of the phrase "Thero ain't a-goln' to bo
no core." r
That tho person who reads Longfellow's poems Is apt to got full of
That while honesty is tho best policy, somo mun havo tho habit of letting
their policies lapse.
That tho "Chargo of tho Light Brigade" was Inspired by a visit from tho
That Lord Bacon was a high liver.
That tho King of Yap who recently died and loft $1,000,000, was not tho
only rich member of his family. Thero nro numerous wealthy yaps In tho
U. S. sonato.
V s ?
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
A. Q. Kumbor: Tho best way to romovo warts from pickles Is to first
plnco tho pickle in a blacksmith's vlso and keep screwing, until tho plcklo
omits a soft moan. Then tike a hammer p.nd a sharp cold
chisel and deftly dlscngngo tho warts ono by one. If the """ffiy WM
plcklo shows signs of suffering glvo It ether, but never WSkP
manifest any sympathy. Then Mo tho rough cdrcs oft, ySfPjjPv
bolng careful not to mar tho plcklo's complexion. After i "YMfR 2r
releasing tho plcklo from tho vl30 dip It In a mlxturi of A vatl$tf? ,
gluo nnd horse rndlBh to closo tho pores. Batho In warm wiyitv T?T
rain wntor scented with bergamot. Wipo dry with a damp WWki'
dishcloth, sprinklo with paris green to glvo it a natural "ME3iS
color and sorvo with whipped cream. &&&!&&
Tootslo Poochfcxc: To removo freckles first, drive S&Ss2fS
a tack in each frecklo to hold it in placo, then tako a sharp CHTP'5
paring knlfo and cut around tho edgo of oach one, afterUpy fw
which removo tho tacks quickly and tho freckles will cimr-l tl 'i If
away with tho hardware. Carefully putty up tho holfs Uu.L '
aro left, sandpaper tho surfneo and coat tho entlro faco with nlnk porch paint.
For a week or ton days eat nothing that will rust tho skin being especially
careful about swallowing iron filings. At tho ond of that time tho paint will
peel off, tho freckles w 1 all bo gone and you will not rccognlio yourself.
Mrs. Jess Wedd: Tho reason your spongo cako wa.i a falluro was becauso
, rOy0U. 8h?1? havo USC(l "our ,nBtea'1 " cornmoal as tho
1 ,p?y baB,s- mixing freely with sorghuct and Cnnary Island
-sj!fiir BPnBa. Instead of carriage sponges and lard The latUr
rlWi brand of BPOiBoa I? no longer aw fwrh To makfi the !ako
fyW? extra light Inflate iho spongos with h bicyclo pump.
Mgj? O Myo Bunyan: Tho qulckestund cheapest way to
SWltc?4 get rhl ot a corn ls to p,HC0 yu' "are- foot on a stump,
ItSr f "?c,h,?s th, K t0 ovcr th0 rar edge, then take a sharp
OVJM Hatchet and by a dextrous, swinging movement separate
W U, T" nm US ba80, " th0 ,0 8U remains and tho
PMtff , "orn has d sappeared, cover tho freshly exp,8ed root with
1b l'TOtf5 "hoemakert wax wrap with binding twlno Boakcd In lard
g JimJ ol, and Bet a pair of crutches.
Sfr.W f 3l Madgo: Sapollo will not help your caso Tho 8Ureat
' ,. nTTaV01" bUCkWhCat ,tCU ,8 t0 bUy a 5S?7St
nothing but codfish balls. ""u"
V s 'V
Tho Flemish for automobile is "8nelpaadelzoons(lorsn(rntroolrittfe:,
Horrors! Think of getting run over by a snelp-woll, you knoJftteMt.
There is a great deal to be picked up by tramp- J
inrf the roads leaders keep close to nature.- --
i. , m
!' TM accuracy review
tOFflfi. department i for co-
S&'&f operation In informa
rfJ3y7Q)f "" on the enemies
ff? . ..i r-i 1 f ta,y rrori and
l-l 1 7?J l" I frteni1 of forethought,
13 KCJ &i jgl to reduce mutually tx
S 10520 Ventfot, mlitaktt. lilt
jP JV je for mechanical, com-
"' merdal and jirofes--
" - ' ttonal people; the In
employe and customer, and conslitt of extractt
taken by permlttlon from the copyrighted lettert,
the lecturee, notebook! and ttbrarlei of JCarl f.
rralt. Oak l'ark, Illinois, lie te hunting the
xcholeuorld over for Information, of every day
u$e to you, and he regrets his inability, personally
toreply to contributors. So far as possible he
wishes to have in this space the very idea you
would like to find here. You are at liberty to send
him any suggestion you may care to. Ills collec
tion was started in 1813 and now contains un
published information dating back to noe, with
systematic plans extending to 1953. Your short
story of some example of forethought given to
him may prove to be your most valuable gift to
ABOUT SOME EASY ERRORS. '
When I saw tho word "weird"
printed where tho word "three" should
havo been tho only thing I could do
was to Invest It In this kind of a re
port. A man sold mo a flfty-cont micro
scope for threo dollars. When I found
out the vnluo of It I told tho story
for a New York magazlno and they
sent me $2.85.
Soon nftor tho microscope experi
ence I found a log in a path which
led from a railway station to my homo.
If tho train happened to bo Into I
would uso that path In tho night, and
If tho night happened to bo dark that
log was "apt to make mo trouble.
I asked tho owner of the log how
much ho would tako for it. He named
the price and I took him up; then I
asked a neighbor if ho would turn
that log into stove wood and put hnlf
of tho wood In our shed for tho other
half of the wood for his own shed. Ho
said yes, and did so.
When my peoplo found out about
tho price of tho log and the quality
of tho wood they felt that I needod
somo kind of an education that I had
not secured. But-whon that Now York
magazine sont mo 60 per cent moro
for the written report than I paid for
the log, my peoplo began to think that
T llr1 1mxr onmatfilnfr
I did Know sometning.
The other day 1 went to a suburban
station at 1:30 p. m., and tho day was
Thursday. I soon found that tho 1:35
train which I had como to take ran
Saturdays only. This mado mo feol
llko framing a sentonco for my own
uso, and I soon saw that tho Informa
tion at tho top of n column ls as Im
portant as tho train tlmo In tho col
umn. What to do with tho hour In hand
was tho next question, and after mak
ing a couple of calls near tho station, I
made a third call on a gentleman
whom I had met soveral times. It was
with somo dlindonco that I opened the
subject, but I bollovo that tho forty
minutes spent with him were as useful
to mo as any forty minutes that I .avo
Recently, whllo at a hotel in a south
western town, 1 went to tho letter box
lato in tho evening to post some mail.
Tho box was near tho clerk's desk In
tho hotel, nnd on It hung a card. Tho
hook which hold tho card was a largo
piece of hoop Iron bont nt both ends.
I had read tho card boforo, and yet
nt tho tlmo I was so thoroughly occu
pied with some foreign subject that
with considerable effort I pulled down
tho shutter and dropped In my mall.
With that act my mind dropped tho
foreign subject, and seemed to bo
ready to rest, and then I re-read tho
card on tho box, which said, "Hand
mall to tho clerk for trains east and
Just how I could got thnt shutter
down and tho bont hoop Iron mado it
particularly difficult, Is somothlng that
ls not very clear to mo at prosont, but
teachers claim that ono can bo so
thoroughly occupied with an idea that
many things can bo dono unconscious
ly. You may havo hoard of the man,
while taking a bath, who got to think
ing In nn original way and continued
wiping ono of his feet for twenty min
utes until ho 'finished his lino of
thought and came to himself. I hoard
Cough say that during ono of his ora
tions he seriously Injured his hand
by Btrlking a railing near tho table,
but that ho did not know of tho in
jury until after ho had finished hlB
oration. Ono of tho host business
mon ot Chicago loft a basket of grapes
on the train and never saw thom again
bocause ho left the train In tho midst
of ananlmnted conversation with n
friend. Whon wo go to bed wo want to
Bleep and got rested. Whon wo work
wo want to concentrato in a way to wlu
and when wo start on a lino of origi
nal thought wo should havo upoclal
tlmo for that kind of brain work.
A CHEMISTRY ANALYSIS. H
Men can bo divided into personal !l
qualities Just as a grain of wheat ,y
can bo divided Into elements. 'A
Thero is organic and Inorganic 4f
chemistry, and wo might havo a third
chemistry dealing with tho elements. f,
of personality. 7 "
Tho only reason for giving theso el- j'
ements of tho mnn himself Is to stato Jtf
tho subjects to bo studied. Tho fruit- 1.
ful part of research is tho finding of jfi
useful information on the dally ,?Jg
sources of the desirable qualities. .,
In an aggressive effort to grow do- .-
slrnblo forces tho undesirable are " fl"" '
overcome, displaced, crowded out and f,I
Few men aro perfect, "rather no A
man ls perfect," fow men npproach ft
perfection. Aro not tho strong tempt- 1.
cd to bo dishonest and tho weak . I
tompted to inactivity?
Certainly men should learn to work tffr
together, to help ench other, to look to '.jjj
each other for each other's wisdom. !
Tho plunger and tho over-conserva- fl
tlvo should recognlzo peculiar quail-
ttos of each other and unlto to make o M
strong nnd very successful team. I
Inherited tendency, environment jJL
nnd education compound a man just fl
as a chemist would compound a prod- I
uct of tho laboratory. II
Desire and reason enable a man ta .IL-
resist, counteract and conquer en-
emlcs within and around him. Hnve I
you noticed that some very strong I
mon physically aro most particularly I
tempted to bo mental Imitators, moral j -C
cowards and treacherous friends? Un-
less they know this, and know how to
fight the tendencies, they become vie-
tlms of them. PI
Very weak mon, physically, aro I
tempted to seek escape from physical. L
demands, and unless they recognlzo- I
their enemy somo dlstanco r-way, and' Jfi
light It skillfully It will mnko thom. g
trouble, it will muko them slas. "rmEp
In Bolnc among all classes ot work- F
era and all degrees ofmental altitude,. r
I find some men aro unconscious spe- I
clnllsts In .the management of them- I
selves. They havo had tho compan-
ionship or wise men uuu auammu
wisdom nnd thus ncqulred intuition. JJ
Somo become wise also by gottlng "I
down nnd helping others up. I
A young man alighted from a train
and had Just twenty-five cents In his 1
pocket. This money ho paid tho hack- JL
man to carry him to his unclo's homo. T'
Tho young man's father was a poor
business mnn. Tho undo wns a good
business man. Tho young man became
a good business man and a very suc
cessful lender and collector of monoy.
The young man's mother may havo
given him commercial elements of
success, hut tho unclo's instruction,
year after year, must bo recognized
as of great value. A banker toldmo
that a certain amount of executive
ability could bo acquired by instruc
tion and attention.
An advertising concern starts with
a half million dollar capital and loses
It. Another concern starts with threo
thousand dollars and makes a half
million. Why and how should bo 1
worthy of careful Investigations nnd
beglnnors should respect reports that
Somo claim that unless thero Is a tg.
man Inside with sufficient lndcpen- W
dent ability thero ls nothing outside
of a concern which can lead It to per
manent success. Can a man with
nearly enough ability acqulro a neces-
. ... Vno tm .nn If Tin ift I m
sary amount r tea, uo tun . .
willing to go at it In the right man-
A man comes to town with four
million dollars and losos all of It. An
othor man Btarts on four dollars and
builds up a successful business. The
details of tho elements of such ensea
contain basic truth mon should know
moro about. And to all such these
lottors aro endeavoring to roach.
Some days tho climbing la slow nnd
tho products small, but tho latter aro I
beginning to amount to something. J
What you put down In black and i
white and add to will help you aeo ,
moro and soo it better also. Why not 1
start a blank book for basics for your- t
self to-dny? I
Four Hundred and Ninety-Two Daya. 1
On Juno 4, 1002, I wont before an ,1
organization and announced my ac- A
curacy researches. This organization l,
appointed a committee of threo that I
evening. October 10, 1903, I received f
a favorablo report from that commit- I
tee. But a manager of a storo tolls 4
mo ho has waited longer than that i
for Eomo things and has not got them il
- w A