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I BBb BBl t: hA wh Hl wwm Bl ,;vW'$C. H What Attracted Him. HB "I'm n-goln' to lie a Arctic explorer," BH announced Tommj Twaddles, who was BB reading about the Peary expedition. BBl "Indeed?" asked Pa Twaddles. "Are BBg you so anxious to And the north BH polo?" I BBl "Kaw, t don't enro about that. Hut BBl up In them cold regions It's dangerous BBl to wash ycr facet" BBl Catching. BBl "Where did ho catch his wife, any- HB way?" BH "He didn't. She caught him." BBl "If that's the case, ho caught a Tar-, BH tar, eh?" BBl "Yes, and he's been catching It ever , H I H GOOD ADVICE. HB Miss Oldono I wouldn't havo refused Chnrley nanks If I'd been you. BH Miss Swcetglrl I don't bellevo I would either, If I'd been you. ewwwwvvwvwwwwwwvv H& Absurd. Hfr "Last night I slapped a mosquito on HBV the fa'co " Hjmkl "HoV absurd!" H "What's absurd?" V "Slapping a mosquito on tlio face!" H "Vou didn't lot mo finish. I slapped HB blm on the face, of my girl; and her Hi father thought it was tbo smack of a BBl kiss ho had heard and ho bounced BH down stairs and chased mo a block." H Wham the Old Man Feared. BH "Say," said Mrs. Nurltch, "your HB father's got to stop smokln' his plpo HB In the parlor. You'll havo to speak to HB him; he won't mind mo." HB "He ain't afraid o' mo, neither," ro- BH piled Nurltch. BBl "Well, something's got to be done." HL lb. "It I wasn't afraid o' scarln' the old HTlk man too bad I'd get the butler aftor Bfl Mk, him." Philadelphia Press. M JK. The Three Flddle- Bfl x "And what did you see at the eon- fl &rt, Wllllo?" asked tlio father. Bfl TI saw a man play a Uttlo fiddle and Bfl Another one play a big fiddle," said BB the boy. Hi "And don't you romembcr tho 'collo HJ player, too, Wllllo?" suggested tho flHJ mother, who accompanied him. flfl "Oh, yes; and then another man HHJ played a half-grown Qddlo." H His Mistake. HB "It Is strango that n man llko Mr. flHJ f' Draynes, with so many good Ideas as BBL ' to goveimueut, should command so Bfl little attention In public life." BBf "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum. BBJ "Ho Is ono of tho pcoplo who flguro BBJ out how things ought to bo, Instead ot BBfl. finding out how thoy aro going to ho flBJT und laying his plans accordingly." IH Washington Star. HH Liable to Damages. BBV "Papa, what's that rod light out In HBg tho street for?" BBl "It's to wnrn coplo that the strcot BBJ Is dangerous." BBg "Do they always sot lights out when BBV n street Is dangorous?" BBf "Not always. -Novor heard of 'em i setting nny out In Wall street." Do- BBfli trolt Tribune. f V Her Object. i "Did you hear that statomont Mrs. HBu Tattlo Is making." HBr "Yes, and ey.ory word of It Is truo." HHU "But I supposed Mrs", Tilttlo was BHy meroly n gossiping romancor." BJH "Well, she's tolling tho truth this IBfl tlmo becauso slio knows It will make BBV more trouble." BBV L,ots of Deaux. H "Then," aUl tlio jlltml lover, "am BBTk I to understand that I no longor sway H your iicrt?" BlB "That's v,lmt!" replied tho Bumraor BBVJ girl; "for awhile, at least, my heart BJ will bo controlled by o syndicate." BBBe Enjoyed the Cnange. K "He's married, all right." BHfi "How can you tell? Ho has no BlBi: wire with blm " BHW "I know, and eco how happy be Is BHt even at this dull summer hotel." HBflf; m ' BJHhkJ-jfcwj n.. -ji A Collection of Idiots. "I want to ask for tho hand of your daughter In marr'gc," said the young man, "You're an Idiot I" said the Irate father, "I know It. lint I didn't suppose 'you'd object to another ono In the famllyl" ' Clear the Track. "I sen that some of the Sioux tribe of IndlniiH nru buying automobiles." "Oettlng 'em cheaper than white bikers' Could, I suppose." "Why so?" "Ilecaiise they don't need any honk honk! They can furnish the wnr-whoops!" Similar In One Respect. 8ho Occasionally, wo hear n wom an speak of hcavoni.n about tho same tono sho would usty In speaking of a summor resort. Ho Well, she has causo for It. That's whoro we'll havo to go to or suffer from tho heat Detroit Trib une. Quoting Him. "I was Just quoting Senator Sugaroft as you camo up." "How Is ho quoted?" "He saya times will be good this fall." "Oh, I thought you were quoting his price." Houston Post. 8trlke Breakers. nilklns What! You did not at to him back when ho slapped you In o face? Fllklns How could I? I had my um brella in ono hand and my gloves In tho other. Translated for Talos from Meggondorfcr matter. Mutually Satisfactory Arrangement. They had been married In duo and nnclcnt form. Ocoffrey," said the young wife, "you endowed mo with nil your world ly goods, didn't you?" "I did," answered tho young hus band. "Well, I hereby glo them back to you." "Owcndolen," ho sold, "you prom Ised to obey me, did you not?" "I did." "Well, dear, I hereby solemnly com mand you to do as you pleaso hereaf ter, no matter what orders I may glvo you." On that basis they lived happily over after. Reminiscences. Mario (after tho honeymoon) Max, denr, hero is the trco uador which you kissed mn for tho flrst tlmo. Max You're always raking up old memories. I'll have that treo cut down. Marie (after tho treo has been cut down) Do you remember. Max Dear, this Is the very spot where tho trco grow, Tableau. Translated for Talcs from Kllcgondc Blatter. Fit. "It fits you," nrgucd tho modlsto, but tho summer person shrugged her shoulders archly. "It fits mo," sho said, drily, "but It doesn't fit the' exigencies. I am 30 5 ears old. My tlmo Is short. My bathing suit should correspond. Do jou understand?" Tho modiste bowed and went for her shears. Puck. Where He Fell Down. Archibald I wll do anything In the world for you. dearest. Hclcne Will you? Archibald If you would only try mo! Hclene Then take this collarette to Catchcm's department store nnd ex change It for n slzo larger; I've lost tho slip. Puck Cause of the Change. "Tho water was cold when I came In," said the thin bather, "but It feels warm now. I suppose It's because I'vo got used to It." "Huh, uh," responded tho fat bath er. "A Iloston girl Just wont out e?rf a New Orleans girl camo In." Detroit Tribune. Where They Were. "My husband and I read to each oth er every uvenlng. now; It's Just splen did," said Mrs. Nowllwed; "why don't you and your flanco do that when ho calls on you?" "Ornclous!" replied Miss Do Mulr, "how can you read In tho dark?" Nothing Doing. Nell I told him If he dared to kiss mo ho'd be sorry for It. Hello And was ho? jj' " Nell No; but I was; I was soildo told him. y. Unkind. vL Dlgby I lost my mind when I was sick. Hlgby When do you expect It back? Judge. VERY OBLIGING. : ' "? '& rvuirev. Orocer Ten pounds of flour, ma'a ra. Shall I send It for you? Mrs. Takltt No, I'll tako It with mo If It Isn't too heavy. Grocer (absently) I'll make it as light for you an I possibly can. Quite Hopeless. "Dear Pop," wrote tho boy from tho art school, "don't sond mo any mora monoy I havo saved halt that which you sont mo last month." "Como homo," wired tho old man, "you'll novor make an artist." Puck, A Come-Back. Mrs. Mayhom I'm suro I don't know why I over married n one-eyod brute like you! Mr. Mayhem I do. If I'd had two eyes. I'd havo looked further. Choice of Evils. ! Singleton Just ns soon as a woman can raanago a man her lovo begins to cool. Weddorly-Yes; ond Just as soon as sho dlscoers sho can't manage him J sho boglns to make It hot for him. The Czar's Thoughts. "I wonder what tho crar thought when ho heard there was dynumlto undor bis apartments?" "I guess ho thought he'd prefer tb ground floor of a cellarless houso." t I f 1$1XKGES tefe lDBEHf.f v-csvV uryjyf3f in I S--rWtZyi'. vd' fill teuMvft fcp wSW Mother'! Doughnuts, 11 you llilnk llicros no line trilne To do anything or orlh, If ou think jou're but n cipher In the multitude of earth; Jut rememlxT motlirr s doughnuts And prra onward to tho goal Finest doushnuta In crpntlon. They were made nround n hole. If the patch In on your garment J - Whore It never was before; If vour pocketliook In empty Of ltd hoarded little nture, Jul remember mother- doughnuts When the cloud of trouble roll Hweetent douglmuts manufactured, All were built nround n hole If ou think our next door neighbor Had n better iitart than you; If ierhnn Jou mads a failure And KiicceKH I hard to woo; Set jour teeth the way ou unci! to, Ijiv the comfort to your noul Itecollect the grand perfection That was circled round a hole. Puck. A Novel "Twlrler." In somo experiments you may need a "twlrler," which Is nn arrangomco. used for spinning objects rapidly. -Mid. as you might llko to add one to jour "homo mndo laboratory," a description of It follows: It consists usually of two wheels Hied on a stand, nnd so connected by means of a band that by turning a handle, on tho larger wheel tho smnll cr one may bo mndo to revolvo rap idly. Tho object to bo twirled Is fixed to this second wheel. This twlrlor can bo bought, of course, from a dealer In scientific sup plies, but tho wheels of an ordinary toy cart can sometimes bo utilized. Turn tho cart ttpsldo down, and tack or pin tho object to bo twirled to ono sldo of the wheel, and spin It from tho other sldo by tho forefinger. Dut It tho object Is to bo twirled In a horizontal position, as a pall, for Instance, tho cart must bo placed on Two Kinds of Twlrlers. Its sldo on a table, with tho whcol projecting over tho edge. The cart must bo weighted to keep it In placo and the string to support tho pall must bo tacked as near tho ccntor ot the hub as possible. Uy twirling tho wheel from abovo you may malto tho pal!, with water, or whatovcr It may contatn, spin around and around. An oxcollcnt twlrlor, howevor, can bo mado. If you have no cart, with merely a plcco of board, a hook, and a pleco ot twine. Got a pteco of board "Jut two feet long by twolvo Inchos la, and placo It over tho top of a cr slightly ajar, tilting It so that Tao end ot It may rest under tho top j of tho door framo and so bo bold In place. Over tho other end slip a loop ot cord that will hang down within two feet ot tho floor, and to this end faston a hook. Tho board must bo far enough under tho top of tho door frame to hold firm when tho string Is pulled on. Tho loop of cord should now be twisted tightly, and then the object to be twirled should be hung on tbo book. Ab tho cord untwists the object will bo twirled nnd It will twirl more rapidly If a stick bo pressed down ward just abovo tho twist. Flat pieces of cork may bo Btrung on tho cord, bolng held In placo b; knots. Alphabet Trips. A gamo that requires no material and no preparation, but may bo play ed off-hand, Is sometimes just tho thing to know, particularly at a party. Hero Is ono that tho older boys and girls would enjoy. Let us call It "Al phabet Trips." Any number of persons may tako part In tho gamo. Tho first thing to do Is to chooso a leador, who stands In tho middle of the room, with tho players seated around him. Then he tells thorn that they aro each to tako a trip somowhoro, and must announco to htm, In turn, where thoy are going nnd what thoy Intend tp do whcn,tboy got there. Now, tho odt'l of this gamo con sists In tho fa that overy word in each Individual answer must begin with tho samo lottcn If a "player, for example, says that ho Is going to a placo, tho namo ot which begins with O, every additional word In his answer must begin with G. Tho game Is real ly a trial of wits, for tho better tho 'answer, and tho more quickly It Is giv en, tho more credit a player dosorves. A prize may or may not bo offered, to ho awarded by tho leader, or by a vote ot tlio players, to tho ono who mokes tho best and readiest answer. Tho leador begins tho gamo by tho announcement just given, and then asks tho first player where ho Is go ing. For tho sake ot Illustration, wo will glvo a tow nnswers In alphabet ical order. Tho player answers, there fore, that he Is going to Athens, and whon the leader asks him what ho Is going to do there, tho player says, "Advertlso athletics." I ' " n goes to Iloston to buy baked henna; C to Cincinnati to collect curi osities; D to Denver to defy dentists; K to Knglnnd to entertain Kdward; F to Franco to fry frogs; O to Glas gow to gathor guineas; II to Halifax to hold horses; I to India to Introduce Idols; J to Jericho to Jostlo Jersey men; K to Kentucky to keep kindling; Ii to Louisiana to lie low; M to Mon tana to mako money; N to Now York to negotloto notes; O to Oklahoma to open oysters; P to Philadelphia to pil fer pennies; Q to Quebec to quoto quinces; It to Homo to rend ritual; S to Savannah to sell sauces; T to Tur key to tell tnles; U to Utah to uso umbrellas; V to Vermont to vend ver milion; W to Washington to waste wages; Y to Yazoo to yell "Yokels"; '. to Zanzibar to zoutch zebras. Tricks of Animals. There aro a surprising number of Quaker animals nnlmnls whoio regu lar method of self-protection Is to of for no resistance to their enemies. Tho 'possum's trick of "shnmmlng dead" Is nn old story. Tho hedgehog and somo of tho nrmadlllos refuse to fight, but tney nro protected by sharp spines or nrmor. Among mnrlno animals Is a starflsii, often called tho "brittle star," which Is tho despair of collect ors. It seems to mako It a point that nono ot Its family shall bo shown In a bottle or on a musotim shelf. When taken from tho water this starfish throws off Its legs nnd also Its stom achs. Tho story Is told ot ono col lector who thought ho hnd succeeded In coaxing a specimen Into a pall, only to seo It dismember Itself at -ho last moment. W. H. Hudson describes tho death-feigning habits of a smnll South African fox common on tho pampas. It caught In a trap or overtaken It col lapses as If dead, and to all appear ances Is dead. Somo kinds of beetles, mnny of tho woolly catorplllars which havo poisonous hairs on their backs, and numerous spiders aaopt tho same trick. Perhaps tho commonest In stance ot passive resistance Is tho land tortoise, which draws up Its front pteco and pulls In Its head and legs and defies Its foes by locking them out. A Few Don'ts. Don't wrlto on soiled or torn sheets of papor. . Don't write letters with a lead pen cil. It Is very bad form not to say unpardonable breach of correct letter writing. Don't seal a lettor of Introduction. Tho person to whom It Is given Is sup posed to Inform himself ot its con tents. Don't fall to Incloso a stamp to car ry an answering letter to a lettor ot business. Don't wrlto carelessly. Spell cor rectly and bo painstaking about your punctuation and tbo language In which you express your thoughts. Don't send a letter bearing blots or scratches. Mako a now copy It neces sary. A Problem In Arithmetic. Jack had two apples; Fred had throo; Alice and Dertha, betweon them, had soven. Tho girls being un selfish put their fruit In tho lunch baskot and told tho boys to help' them selves while thoy went to gather May flowers. They walked a mllo and eight furlongs to a field, which the boys said was full of flowers, but there wore nono. Then llortha bit hor Up nnd said something to Alice, nnd tho two ran back ns fast ns they could, arriv ing at thirteen mlnutos past thrro Opening tho basket, how many apples did thoy find? Tho answor Is conceal ed In tho abovo paragraph. Peace Problem. Tho quarrel began simply enough, Nolllo wnntcd to help Dorothy cut out n doll's dross, but they couldn't ngrco how It wns to ho done Finally thoy began tugging at tho scissors nnd when Dorothy saw sho was going to lose them sho promptly boxed Nelllo's ears Nellie let go of the scissors, but retaliated by pulling Dorothy's hnlr. After that they quieted down some what, but tho Instant the doll's dress wns mentioned the dispute was renew ed as to how they should mako It. Up stairs papa, who heard tho noise, de cided to end the quarrel nnd appeared promptly on tho scene. Tho dress, he snltl, was ot secondary consideration, so ho would tnke It and tho scissors to his study. Then he gave them somo advice about tho quarrel, but you must find this out for yourselves. It Is concealed somewhere In tho above paragraph. Game of Bird Sellers. The game of bird sellers Is played as follows: Tho children stand In a row, lenvlng two outside. Theso two represent tho bird dealers. Each child represents n bird ono being a crow, another a crnne, another a can ary, and so on. Ono bird dealer says to tho other: "I wish to buy a bird." "What kind of n bird?" asks the sec ond dealer. "A bird that can fly fast," says tho . first dealer. "Very well," answere the other deni er, "take what you wish." "Then," says tlio first dealer, "I will tako a robin." As soon as the word Is out of his mouth tho "robin" must leap from tho row and run nround to escape. If tho dealer catches the bird ho puts It Into a cage, where It must stay till all tho other birds nro caught. Nine Men's Morris. This gamo was played by William Shakespeare when ho was a boy. At any rate, ho spoko of tt In one of his dramas, "Midsummer Night's Dream." It can be played in tho house by pre paring a board with holes, as In the p 5 C W 6 61 o po O. o o o o o r) . O b 2 Si i b 2 SJ diagram horo pictured, but Is more fun played out on the turf. Just as mumbletypeg and so many other games ore played. Two persons play tho gamo. If they aro Insldo the house, using a board, thoy uso nlno chcckcrmon, or pegs, apiece, differently colored or shaped. If out ot doors, marbles or pebbles may be usod. The players lay down their pieces, whatovcr they are, in tho holes, one at a tlmo, alternately, and It is each playor's business to provont tho other ono from placing three ot his pieces; so as to form a row of tbreo without any ot the opponent's pieces between them. Whonovor oltbcr ono succccda in forming a row, he may then take up and rcmovo any one ot tho othor play er's pieces ho pleases, excop from a comploto row already formed. When all tho pieces nro laid down, thoy are played backward and forward In what ever direction each lino runs, but a piece can bo moved only from ono spot to another at a tlmo. It Is still tho object ot each player to keep tho other from gottlng threo men down In an unbroken row. When ever ono succeeds In forming a row, ho removes any ono ot bis opponent's men ho pleases. Tho player who finally takes off nil his opponent's pieces wins tho gamo. Novelties In Skirts. 8klrts of oyolot-workcd lawn or lin en, somewhat tnllorllko In mako and worn with long-fitted coats of cloth, aro nmong tho novelties. Tho open work llngorlo skirt may match tho cloth In color or mny bo In whlto mado over a foundation in tho color ot tho coat. wnryryryryrrynmrnyrnnrnnnnmrfryn f liujuu--u-ir-1j-Lrij-j-lnj-. Puzzle of ihe Poor Men Hero Is an amtizlng puzzlo which looks awfully easy -aftor It is solved. Onco upon a tlmo four poor men settled nround thq banks ot a vory small but vory beautiful lake. The white squares represent thplr our nt 1 a FIG.Z j a a (g FIG.3 (Wr houses, ns shown In flguro 1. Now it seems that Jour ilch men coveted the lake. They tried to buy tho four poor men out at flrst, but theso people refuses to sell. Then t! o rich men, knowing Just hov. much land each of tho poor men owned (which wns hard- Ily more than that covered by tho poor men's houses), bought overy foot of tho property around tho lako and around each poor man's land. After which tho rich men erected a "ducal pilo," as shown by tho black squares In flguro 2. Thon tho rich men, being strongor and more Influential Uinn tholr poor neighbors, dcrldod to exclude tt?m entirely from the uso of tho -nco. To do this they had to build a high stone wall. What shapo was tho wall? Sofore looking nt flguro 3, which is the solution, see If you can trace thfc 1 correct shape ot this very peculiar' wall on flguro 2.