Newspaper Page Text
FROM ALL OVER UTAH.
William Chadwlck o Maploton, Is
minus a great toe. He didn't know
the gun was loaded.
Spring City has an epidemic of
whooping cough, sixty-one homes hav
ing been quarantined for the disease.
Mt. Pleasant wants a Commercial
club and the local paper Is agitating
the question with much vigor nnd
earnestness.
According to the Record, Dr. Cheek
of Kentucky, Is going to locato at
Mammoth. He ought to have no trou
ble In doing well.
John P. Cahoon of Murray, has add
ed newspaper work to his many occu
pations, having recently purchased i.
one-half Interest in the Murray Eagle.
Provo Lodge 14, I. O. O. P., had a
good time dancing at Eureka last
Wednesday evening. An excursion
was run over the Rio Grande West
ern and was largely patronized.
Parowan authorities have decided
that in future when a man gets drunk
inside the town limits, it shall cost
him $3. The first victim pungied up
without a murmur.
W. II. Harper has been experiment
ing with a new potato near Smithfleld.
It didn't hello its title either, for Har
per found 500 bushels to the acre, and
they are uniformly largo and sound.
Four hears were killed one day last
week, just east of Mt. Pleasant. John
ZarbrlskI got three of them with a
Winchester, while the third fell be
fore a target rifle of 22-callber, in the
hinds of seventeen-year-old Rafe Jen
sen. The Randolph News gravely asserts
that there Is nothing to bo dreaded
more than an epidemic of whooping
cough. Oh come now; suppose yellow
fever should strike the town, what
then?
Jim Jensen, formerly recorder of
Salt Lake county, has been appointed
clerk and recorder of Wasatch county,
to fill a vacancy caused by the death
of Squire Watson, who held the place
for many years.
Logan is debating the prohibition
question. Some people want the sa
loons closed while others are "agin"
the movement. Among tho latter Is
tho Journal. Tho Journal, it is al
most unnecessary to add, is tho prgan
of the Cacho county Democracy.
In future it will be proper to alludb
to them as "tho choir that made Og
den famous." From now on wo pre
sume that Editor Glasmann will feel
justified in locating tho western ter
minus of every eastern road, and tho
eastern terminus of every western
rosd at tho Junction city.
As an instance of how great minds
often run In tho same channel wo re
produce tho following, both papers
Soing to press on tho same day and
each printing tho matter as original:
Wizard Durbank is reported to havo
developed a golden plumb. Tell us
where tho tree Is nnd tho best method
f shaking it. American Fork Citi
zen. Wizard Durbank is reported to havo
doveloped a golden plum. Nothing Is
said nbout what sort of a tree It grows
n or tho best method of shaking It
Murray Eagle.
I
I
TRUTH 7
WOPK FOR THE PARSON
Street Car Conductor Was Altogether
Too Busy to Preach.
An open car in the Sixth avenue
shopping district was well filled with
passengers. One row of seats was oc
cupied by three women and a o'orgy
man, who manfully maintained the
outside seat A small boy with a
large bundle pushed his vay past them
with much inconvenience to tho sit
ters and established himself at the in
side end. When the conductor came
around the boy pushed out a transfer.
Tho conductor looked at it and aiked:
"When did you get this?"
"Just a minute ago," was the prompt
reply.
The conductor scowled. "That'll do
for you," he said.
In a minute or so the man at the
end asked: "What was the matter
with that transfer?"
"Six hours old," was the conductor's
laconic reply.
"Then, my man, you should put him
off the car. Why didn't you?"
"Didn't want to annoy these Indies,"
snapped the conductor, moving along
the footboard. When he came back
he was assailed again.
"You are teaching that lad to bo dis
honest. You are robbing his employer
and yours. You"
"See here, ain't you a parson?"
"I am," was the dignified reply.
"Then invito that lad to your Sunday
school and tell him what you've got to
say about dishonesty. I ain't got no
time for preachin'." said the conductor.
New York Times.
o
RED TAPE OVER TWENTY CENTS.
Gift to Civil Service Commission
Starts Departments Working.
"Can a government department re
ceive donations." Is the question that
has been raised by the reception at
tho Washington city postofllce of an
lnternatic al money order to the
credit of the civil service commission.
The amount contributed, or Intend
ed to be contributed, to the commis
sion, Is twenty cents, but the matter
Is held to Involve a precedent.
Accordingly, tho advice of the con
troller of the treasury was sought,
and that official, after duo considera
tion, decided that it would be Illegal
for any branch of tho government to
receive money outside Its regular ap
propriations by congress, but that It
would bo permissible to return tho
money into tho treasury, where It
would find its placo either In tho con
science fund or appropriations unpro
vided for."
The controller further remarked,
unofficially, that tho amount so gen
erously donated might, on account of
its magnitude, bo put to such uses as
the commission decided.
Tho latter, through its custodian,
turned the order over to the post
ofllce, and that Institution will, In its
turn, endeavor to give it back to the
sender, a citizen of Austria, or to the
Austrian government. Now York
Sun.
Husbands and Wives.
African husbands never Kiss their
wives. They would consider this too
familiar expression of devotion. A
Mnndlgo wife meeting her hsuband
who has just returned homo hrows
herself on the ground as a token of
greeting. In Loango the women
and as they rise they clap their
hands.
The Maiden's Lament.
Tl 10 : Will,! locks 11,0 foiOHt,
Ti,nhc cIi,!m,s KiUior ',ui-j
Tho mnldPii slt.s lon.'Iy '
Th f?ll,t; lllp Brou ro;
10 wUh'.r ,,,lBh,,,B w,th ml"t.
An1 trSil her s""3 ", tho
And her eyes mo" dim with tears.
"Tho earth la a desert.
And biolsen my hoiut,
Nor might to my wishes
.rhnT1y, mki cnn Impart.
bc?w- ' cn" now thy chlla frm
1 haV can'bt'towL"10 Joys tlmt th wnl
I have lived nnd havo loved."
"In vain oh how vainly,
I' lows torn- upon tear!
Ilumnn woo nevir waketh
DuJ death's heavy inr;
Gt "vanffi To "00t,, fr ",0 swcot
AnT,hoI'bta,.m1rCSti!y1brea1S?.,.,.Ca '"'" aboVO
Let ever, though vainly.
Flow tear upon tear;
Human woo never waketh
1- . Dull dentil's heavy enr;
lot still when tho heart' mourns tho
sweet vanished love,
r.o balm for its wound can descend from
nbovo
Like love's sorrows nnd tears.
Schiller, Bulwer's translation.
O
Bronze Coins.
Bronze coins consist of n mixture
of copper, tin nnd zinc.
i
A Neat Retort. i ,
In a certain street in the Enst-cnd I I j .
of London is a three-story building. I '
On tho ground floor Is a public house; i I
on tho first floor lived a son of Erin, I
whom for convention's sako we'll call II '
Pat; on tho second floor resided a I Li
true son of Israel. Whenever the last- i"
named gentlemnn felt thirsty ho would I
lower a can by a piece of string down I
to the ground floor, nnd tho publican I
would extract 2d which the Jew hnd I
placed there, and All tho can with 1 i
beer. As the Jew was hauling It up 1
ono day, Put caught sight -of tho can 1
slowly ascending outside his window. 1
Like a flash ho grabbed hold of it nnd 1
drank nil the beer at ono draught, let- I
ting tho empty can go on Its way 1
towards tho top floor. Tho Jew 1 i
quickly perceived his loss, nnd lenn- 1
lng out of tho window he encoun- 1
tercd tho fnce of tho Irishman grin- 1
ning up nt him. ms rage knew no 1
bounds. M
"Oh, you Irish thief!" ho yelled; I
"you miserable Irish thief!" ' I
"That's all right," taid tho smiling 1
Pat. "A good job for you I nm an I
Irish thief. If I'd been a Jew you I i
wouldn't havo got tho can back." 1
London Answers. I
LYRIC THEATRE I
WEEK Beginning Saturday Sept 2nd. I
MATINEE Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday. 1
Georges & Turner presents
The 3 California 3 Girls j
EXTRAVAGANZA CO.,
In tho Musical Novelty
"THE GREAT WHITE WAY."
Qrr The Electrical Swing Tho Silver March !
OLL Tho Dance of tho Honrs-Tho Girls of tho U.S.A
40 - CLEVER PEOPLE 40 I ;
Nloht Prices: Lower Floor, 25c, 60c, 75c. Matinees! All Seats, 25c. I 1
"The Store with the Roputntlon"
WALKER'S STORE j
Each day marks the arrival of some new surprise Generous w
indeed has Dame Fashion been this season Beautiful color effects, I
in fabrics, soft dainty pieces of neckwear, artistic masterpieces of 1 ,
the tailor's craft and all the rest of the beautiful thing's which go to 3
complete a perfect showing of Fall wearables, are now to be seen at I
the Walker Store The store noted for always having the best of 11 j
everything at the most reasonable price There can be only one j
' best store ' ' the people have to decide on the one The amount Mi
of business done by this house is a pretty fair indication of the way I i
the wind blows. j 1 ; l
Walker Bros.' Dry Goods Co. I
ASK FOR i I
SticRney's fine 0aar$ j 1
Wm. A. Stickney Cigar Co. j
SALT LAKE CITY BRANCH ' ft
I 229 SOUTH MAIN STREET ijl
A. E. WALLACE. MGR. f ,j
