Newspaper Page Text
T J1UTM, 7 I
Ettabllthtd 1BG4 W. P. RISEN, Mir.
I Brewing 5
f "LAGER'BEER & PORTER I
m Special attention given to bottled
m beer for family trade. Free
delivery to all parts of
m the city.
0 fficc :
j 74 c st first south
m phonc ata.
TRIBUNE FABLES REGARDING
THE INTERNAL REVENUE
Tho Tribune has tried to work up a
sensation, based on a fable of Its own
creation, that the Internal revenue of
'flce for the district of which Utah Is
a part, will be removed from Salt
Lake and that a new revenue collector
will bo appointed In place of the pres
ent incumhent, E. H. Callister. The
Tribune fablo Is so silly that It scarce
ly merits any notice. The animus ot
the author of the fable Is very ap
parent. The Tribune is engaged In
a futile attempt to make people be
lieve that Tom Kearns and Furious J.
Cannon are the only men who can
effectually represent this stato In the
United States Senate. As a matter ol
fact their "influence" at tho capital Is
nil. They have neither the confi
dence or respect of anybody either ai
homo or abroad, and Kearns enjoys
tho utter contempt of President
Roosevelt, Sutherland and Smoot,
on the contrary, stand well with the
people of Influence In Washington,
because of their ability and Integrity,
tho latter a quality of which both
Kearns and Cannon are utterly de
void. There will bo no change In either
the location of the internal revenue
office or the personnel of the collector
for many a long day.
COLONEL SHAUGHNESSY ILL.
The friends of Col. Shaughnessy
will regret to learn that tho colonel is
very ill at tho Holy Cross hospital.
He underwent a critical operation on
Wednesday, but fortunately is getting
along all righf, but it will be some
time before ho is able to get around
She Doesn't Need to Have Dollars.
(i In every town It is said of the pret-
i tlest girl: "She has no sense." At
j Made Him Jump.
i Rodrlck "So you went to see that
nervo specialist? Did ho test your
nerves to see if you were nervous?"
(Van Albert "He did, and I almost
Jumped out of the window."
, w Redrlck "What kind of a test was
? Van Albert "Why, he crept up be-
j -hind me and tooted an automobile
horn when I wasn't looking."
MR. GRADGRIN1VS GOOD ACTIONS.
Providence Enabled Him to Do Three
In a Bunch.
Gradgrind, hunying from his office,
was about to stoi into his automobile
when a poor woman accosted him.
"Oh, sir," she Bald, "will you lend
mo a dollar?"
Tho millionaire's hard features did
"What for?" ho asked harshly.
"To got my baly christened with,"
sho answered. "My new baby, sir;
and $1 is tho fee."
"Gradgrind produced a ?5 bill.
"Hero, tako this," ho said, "and
bring the change to my ofllco in an
Tho woman's wan face brightened.
"How good you are," sho said, "to
trust me. sir."
"There, there," said Gradgrind.
"Don't betray my trust, that's all."
And In his hugo automobllo he toro
An hour later, suro enough, his ?4
in change awaited him in his office.
"My dear," said Gradgrind virtuous
ly to his wife that night, "I did three
good actions to-day."
"What wero they," Mrs. Gradgrind
"In the first place," said tho pluto
crat, "I was tho instrument, through
Providence, of helping a poor woman.
In tho second place I aided in adding
a now member to our church. Third
ly, I got rid of a bad ?5 bill."
The callow youth thinks to poko
fun at the young woman who has
just obtained her degree of M. D.
"Aw, Miss Heeler," he says, "I won
der if you can tell me anything about
"I am troubled with shooting pains
all tho time."
"Where are they shooting?'.
"Through my head."
"I wouldn't worry if I wero you.
They'll not hit anything."
Pitched too High for the Choir.
A good many years ago, beforo the
lato Dan W. Palmer moved from
Georgetown to East Boston, ho was a
choir member and played a musical
instrument in the church at tho for
mer place. Some weeks after his re
moval the tenor singer of his old choir
camo up to visit him. Tho first ques
tion Dan asked him was how matters
went in tho choir.
"They don't go worth a cent," was
tho reply. "The new leader we've got
pitches tho tunes so high that you
couldn't play the bass on a fife." Bos
First Application to Burns.
For burns, the first thing to do is
to exclude the air, but do not use
water, or put on dry cloths. Tho best
things are caron oil, vaseline, cosmo
line, lanoline, olive, linseed or castor
oil, or even lard and butter, provided
they are not salted or rancid. If
nothing else Is near by use muscllago,
molasses or milk, especially cream.
Trj Shepard Co. on collections.
Salt Lake City, Utah Established 1859
A General Banking Business Transacted
Safety Deposit Boxes for Rent
.',.' t I
SALOON MEN: ... I
Wo carry everything . re- , I
quired In a Bar. I
CIGAR MEN: 1
Thero aro 73 brands of CI- I
gars In our stock. I
Wo want your business. - I" ' I
RIEGER & LINDLEY, . :. I
Tho Whiskey Merchants. I
" The store with tho reputation " I
WALKER'S STORE I
Great Factory Lots and Tear end Sale iLnl.d.ayr'DSerr2": I
To give this great sale unusual significance in the minds of I
Bait Lakp shoppers, wo have carefully gone through every
stock in tho house and wherever lines wore at all depleted, wo I
have included them in tho undorpriolng. I
Every department has contributed to this sale and with many fresh ' I
seasonable factory lots sent, us by our New York representative, we, I
are prepared for the greatest, selling week In the history of this City. I
See Sunday Papers. I
Come f . , Uonio
Monday. W"lW$nArirC,. A11 wcek- I
I In a COLD SNAP I
I Are you looking for Practical I
I suggestions for conducting-your . .,,
affairs? . . M
Here's the best, one H
Castle Gate Coal I
Will make the winter shorter. H
THE UTAH FUEL COMPANY I
ELIAS MORRIS & SONS CO. I
NEW AND BEAUTIFUL CONSIGNMENT JUST RECEIVED I
ASK FOR H
$ticktKV$ fine fym I
Wm. A. Stickney Cigar Co. I
SALT LAKE CITY BRANCH
229 SOUTH MAIN STREET
A. C. WALLACE. MOB. H