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I TRUTH ! I
I LEGISLATIVE WORK (?)
And now tho legislator
9 Has come upon tho stage,
And efforts oratorical
iWlll be the ruling rage.
With broadened chest, In ponderous,
1r The man from south will roar:
"My fellow senators, I rise
To this distinguished floor.
"To advocate a noble cause
Which long has been defiled,
A cause of justice and of right,
And fraught with mercy mild.
"We want a statute down our way
Which will protect tho frog,
That blithe and happy denizen
Of bank and brake and bog.
"Wo'vo learned to love his evening
, It cheers us when we'ro sad,
It lulls us peacefully to sleep
Wnen dreary days wo'vo had.
"And we are shocked yes, horriftei
That any man should dare
To put our friend's extremities
Upon a bill of faro.
"And so I introduced this bill,
Which makes of it a crime
To take tho life of any frog.
And hush his volco sublime.
"Now, senators, it's up to you,
It's you who make tho laws;
Be loyal to this bill of mine."
( Anplause ! Applause ! ! An
plause! I !)
And then they'll argue, pro and con
The merits of tho caso:
"Are frtr legs really wholesome
"Do singing frogs abase?"
"When Is a bullfrog fully croaked'?'
"Why, when he's in the pan."
"How old's a frog whoso birth oc-
Before tho .birth of Ann?"
But, gentle public, do not chldo
Their mild and foolish play;
They must do something If they'd
Those four big "bones" a day.
I The Value of Courage.
1 Courage Is tho first component of
I character. No man can be truly a
gentleman If a coward. 'There is no
I true manliness without courage. Cour-
H age, if accompanied by good judg-
H mont, Is tho most valuable of business
K assets. John Brlsbano Walker.
H Memorial to Cr-v In Church.
H Memorials to animals aro fairly
B. common, but there Is one In England
S existing insldo n church. This is tho
MLQ efllgy of a cow displayed in Durham
S cathedral. Tradition asserts that It
W was placed there in order to keep In
Hi remembrance tho facts relating to tho
Hj burial within tho sacred edifice of tho
Ht remains of St. Cuthbert.
jR Miners Use Tons of Stuff.
VJ Tho miners of Cornwall, England,
M aro the best customers of snuff
V merchants, their consumption being
m enormous Nearly 100 tons of snuff
what Is known as "violet snuff" is
their favorite "sneeze" will go down
r to them in a year, all done up In one-
'"' pound packets.
Have You Noticed That ,
If what men term pleasure be care
fully analyzed it will be found to bo
generally only enthusiasm.
His Jc' ..
The professional humoiist was hav
Ing his shoes shlncd. "And Is your
father a bootblack, too?" ho asked the
boy. "No, sir," replied tho boy. "my
father Is a farmer." "Ah!" said the
professional humorist, reaching for
his notebook, "ho believes In making
hay while tho son shines." Topckn
Clocks of Early Times.
Tho earliest seventeenth ccntuvj
clocks had the names of the maken
put on In Latin and sot straight nerosi
tho bottom of tho dial. Tho next
period showed the maker's name
placed across the lower part of tho
dial face between tho figures V and
"I understand that you have beei
"I have," answered the man with
i cold, calculating nature.
"I suppose you feel pretty bad
"Yes, but somehow I don't Boem to
feel as bad as I ought."
To sail in n well-found American
vessel manned by an American crew
from captain down to the boy who
carries countless boiled potatoes from
tho gullery to tho forecastle, to be
cared for by stewards who Miswer
yuor questions with unaccented "No.
ulrs," and "Yes, sirs," to be, in a
word, "home," during your entire trip
Is not the least of the joys of a voy
age to Porto Itico. Tho Travel Maga
zine. J o
Not His Job.
"Young man," said tho stern par
ent, fixing tho trembling suitor with
a glare, "do you know enough to sup
port yourself under reverses?" "No,
siree!" cried the youth, emphatically
"I ain't no hard-luck acrobat!"
CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH TUE. EVE,,
miuj -.."iSfflr' 'ii'iir.'; "" ' '" iiift' '" "" jgw-
ARTHUR HARTIYIANN 3
HAEN3EL &. JONES
642 FIFTH VE.. NEW YORK
University ol Utah Course of Lectures and Recitals
"Speaking of applying the artistic
to ordinary duties reminds mo of my
unmarried aunt with whom I lived
when I was a child. Sho used somo
times to do such a fine job of making
the beds that she would make us
sleep on the floor, becauso she hadn't
tho heart to seo her work spoiled."
Disappointments, obstacles a:i
trlols are distasteful, hut do not fo
this reason resent their coming, lr.
overcoming obstacles, In meeting dis
appointments cheerfully, In bearing
trials patiently, you will gain
stiength. Never mind the bitterness
of a tonic, If it gives you what you
The Justice's Admission.
Tho proprietors of a celebrated
toilet preparation havo been collecting
testimonials from tho leaders of
Indian society. One learned justice
Ingenuously offers tho following sur
prising testimony: "Very efficacious
for weakness of the brain. I use It
Cause far Corroding.
It has been noted that wire nails
and wire fences corrode more quickly
than Iron In other forms, under like
exposure. Tho theory Is advanced,
by way of explanation, that tho cold
working processes leavo unusually
large lutermoleculnr spaces in tho
Helping on His Finish.
"You'll find I'm hard to dlscourago,"
said the persistent suitor, melodramat
ically. "Some day I'll make you ad
mit you love me and then and not
till then I will die happy."
'I'll say It now," replied tho heart
less girl. "I don't mind tolling a Ho
for a good end."
An acre of performance Is worth
the whole land of promise. Anonymous.
The Woman That Rules. HI
It Is not tho merely cold or the Hi
merely emotlonnl woman who can In- Hi
flueno a man's llfo, hiu the woman Hj
with self-control; which, In Its high- Hj
est form, is self-abnegation. John HJ
Oliver Hobbes (I'cnrl Mary Cralglo). Hi
Sailer Bern Under Lucky Star. Hj
The captain of the llaragua llht- HI
ship, off the Uuriiin coast, put or'. In HI
n skiff and was swept out to sea by HI
the heavy current. lie was rescued HJ
by a st earner after being -10 hours HJ
without food or water. HJ
Call 'Em an Isosceles Triangle. HJ
The euro for prof.inlty reformers Hi
and educators please mako n note HJ
Is merely wit enough to li audio your Hi
words so that swearing will Bccm Hj
Hko baby talk In comparison. Con- HI
cord Patriot. Hj
T ilr Own Way. Hj
"Somo women," said Undo Ebon, H
according to n writer in tho Washing-
ton Star, "not only wants dolr own
way, but doy wants do prlvilego of
blaniln' delr Inn mills fob lottln' dom H
have It If It dr turn out right." H
And Then Some. HJ
11 Is snld that the lmmortnl lines Hj
beginning, ".Mother may I go out to Hj
swim?" aro 1,300 years old. Multl- HJ
plying 1,300 by 1,300 will show the HJ
number of times they havb been HJ
First Use of Side Saddle. H
Acorrespondcnt of tho London HJ
Mail says that women always rode HJ
astrldo until Queen Elizabeth, In or- HJ
dcr to show a magnificent dress upon HJ
a certain state occasion, rodo side- HJ
wise, nnd so set tho fashion. HJ
Georglo found fractions very trou- HJ
blcsome. When tho teacher asked HJ
him which ho preferred, n half or a HJ
third of a pie, ho Innocently said ho HJ
suppesed it would bo easier to have HJ
the whole pie. HJ
Tuesday and Wednesday I
JAN. 29-30 I
AMERICA'S I'OUBMOST KOMANTIO ACTOR . BJ
JAMES O'NEILL I
Supported by a powerful Company of Player! iM
Positively His Farewell Tour I
II In Alexander Dumas' Masterpiece
Monte Cristo I
Prices 25c to $1.50. Matinee 25c to $1.00 Sale Monday. M