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I Will Wi, J ThH5rSHsd
BETTER MATURED I S???r,
I You've seen him in the front mw
H at the theater laughing at the com-
B edy partis afl It he were about to
1 burst. You've oven seen him smllo
I at misfortune, happy when otlois
J were woeplng, mirthful while his
I companions were plunged in gloom.
You may have heard him recite:
I "It la easy enough to look pleas-
I ant when life flows by like .1 ?ong,
I' "But the man worth while Is the
I man who can. smile when evefy-
jl thing goes dead wrong."
j That'! the Fat Man for ou
j For some physiological reason
unknown to the medical profession
: ' J the fat man Is always happy. You
I I rnny have witnessed hl display of
v ' . i! mirth at the theater. He laughed
j j so heartily at the Slightest exhibit
I of humor that you feared the coll-
I Ing would drop on you. You recog
nized that the fat man was getting
l& worth of amusement on his 75-
I J cent admission ticket and you did
' ' not criticise him. You felt he was
I a part of the show and you were
V. I I o pleased with his appreciation of
the performance that you were
1 grateful even to be allowed to watch
H j him
1 You also have felt hit; hearty
i-'-Vi 6lap on tno ljaek when ho told you
; '. I I to cheer up after you had recited
"'.' J your misfortunes. W hen you said
v I r'fi 'he baby was 111. your wife didn't
'. ' V-Hfl 'ep' We tno insurance was duo and
t. V 'tl tlle re"t wasn't paid, you remember
H '''JS. he slapped you on the back and ad-
' ("1 vised you to cheer up.
I i 1 Fat Men Believe
in the Future.
I '.i;r.l "There s better things ahead,"
1;,', '"J was his advice.
J That's the care-free statement of
the fat man. He's always happy
and ne wants you to be happy with
!, w;,l him Happiness is defined by some
I I m r as a freedom from care or anxiety,
''i 1)111 lou cver 8ee a 'at man worry -
'm lne arj0ut an thing? You didn't.
yv That's Just the reason he's fat.
'1 sclentlilc explanation of It Is
, ."'' , 4 tnat tlie f;it man ls fat because ho
does not worry. His occupation has
i:vi a ereat dcal to do with it, phyel-
fCr'vial clans cay. Persons w ho are oc-
18 cupled in outBlde work and men
ttyl $k wh nave no Physical labor to per-
it&U'Aj form, arc generally fat. It is ex-
&jj?l Here ie what one doctor says on
jaSgp.B the fact that some of us are lean
yJgMvjJ and Irritable. yhilo others are fat
ENi and happy:
(ffijMBl "Men need outdoor exercise If
KSglM they are cooped up in offices they
become anemic, one notices that
wl9l clerks, book keepers md others
tjgBjttM confined to offices, arc pallid and
OkPh thin. Persons doing outsldo work
'fffrajfi ar the opposite Policemen who
bABauB walk long beats and who are ex-
gAjfiB pose.l to all condition- of the weath-
HhEH er are generally stout and healthy
WSjSfwjll Persons confined to off.ces are not.
98pB "Solicitors, collectors and others
EHjmH who work In the open air are gen-
BjHH erally fat and. of course, happ.
BHjH Their work is not tedious and Is a
BBjfBj half and half mixture of mental and
physical labor. These men walk a
great deal and occasionally their
mental faculties are iu play so that
1 he development of mind and body
Is a healthy equality. They Inhale
pure air. they have plentifdl exer
cise, as a consequence they have
hearty appetites and as a result
they grow fat.
Naturally Seem to
Have Less Worries.
"They have no mental worries
as a rule and their tribulations are
less numerous than those that como
to other laborers The policeman,
for Instance, has a definite beat to
walk. He has physical labor thai
requires him to patrol In all sorts
of weather In the hot summer he
Is found in a heavy uniform walking
hl beat, and In winter in a uni
form slightly more protective, he is
found covering the same ground.
When other peoplo cannot bear tho
cold for over five minutes at a time
the policeman is walking eight
hours without being warmed at a
stove or finding protection Indoors.
Tho physical exercise hardens
him to all conditions of the weath
er, his appetite is better, he eats
more and consequentl ho grows
Being stout and having plenty of
reserve energy, he is happier, more
contented, and has a rei-orve force
of mirth and laughter that Is in
exhaustible. "We have all seen men who were
enemlc and lifeless. They seemed
to be mentally moribund and phys
Bui b men have Just sufficient
strength to do the work required
of them and no more. " 'hen they
have fulfilled their duties to their
employer they are entirely ex
hausted. The fat man does his work in a
cheerful manner (even If ho does
occasionally avoid physical labor
and then has a reserve force of
energy that allows hlrn to entertain
his friends in meeting, to laugh
v. hen h goes to the theater and 10
retire to bed with a smile on his
The ancmoc, thin man generally
feels tired. Life la -one big funeral
and the wrl3 a lnrpe sr.ivp yard to
nun. Wnen he awakens in the
morning he feels more like being
a pall bearer at his own funeral
than getting up and lighting the fire
doing the chores and milking.
When he gets to the off.ee he Is
in the same physical condition of
exhaustion. Euch book that ls to
be balanced Is a weight on his
Tarts W ith His Bed
in a Friendly Wai .
When tho day Is done he cr.-i wis
home to his flat or his boarding
house and hits the hay" in ex
haustion. In contrast the fat man
gets out of his bed in the morning
"not because he has am thins
against the bed. but because he can
not carry it with him, " as Bill Nye
once Bald. He goes to his work
with a display of vim that all the
tonics and health restorers In the
world could not inspire. He eats
his breakfast In a way that would
Impress you that it Is to be his last
He arrives at his place of em
ployment ready for an thing that
thay come up and appears eager to
perform his duties.
He Is Just as Interested In the
matter under consideration as If It
were his solo interest In life. The
morning passes quickly for him be
cause he is Interested In his work.
Then comes noon.
If you have not seen the fat man
fating his luncheon you hae missed
one of the seven wonders of the
world He docs not approach as if
he were afraid of It, but as if It
were a part of his day s duty and
he dldn t want to negle t It.
He starts with soup and even bit
is swallowed before the meat course
arrives. Then he starts In on the
second round with great devotion.
When one sees the fit man dining
he is forced to admire his thor
oughness and his bstness-llke meth
ods. Not a plate returns to ih
kltchen that has not leen entirely
emptied of Its contents.
This finished, the fat man places
a toothpick between his teeth and
It is a genuine smile of satisf.tr
tlon. It is one of those big. broad
faced smiles that a man may as
sume after he has finished dunnlnir
a. huge section of pumpkin pie. It
Is worth traveling a mile to see
such a smile. To see a fat man
latjgh is better than witnessing a
burlesque show, fietler than being
present at .1 circus.
I'laees Whole Soul
When he laughs he places his
whole soul in it. His bodj ihakes,
his chin wrinkles Into a double chin,
his mouth broadens and stretchea 'J
If it were tryln-r to come Into con
Junction with his ears, and his eyes
twinkle with mirth.
It is not the conservative "iee-
hce." but the loud "haw-haw" that
one hears. It makes the glassware
reverberate and It seems as If the
ceillng werc about to fall.
It is an lS-karat laugh, the fen
Ulness of which cannot he mistaken
"Why is the fat man fat" a re
porter asked a physician.
"Why is the wildcat wild?" was
the prompt reply of the learned M.
D. Then he told the reporter that
fat men are fat because they do
not worry, because their work Is
"Why Isn't a farmer fat " then
Inquired the reporter.
"Because he works too hard. Ho
works all the fat off. Ho is busy
from morning until nlht. He bends
over the plow, he strains his back
vvhllo milking, he labors all day
loner." said the doctor.
The fat man. he explained, has a
reserve energy that allows him to be
happy when others can't afford It.
"Maybe It's because fat men as
similate more sugar that (heir tem
pers are more even and fhelr minds
ireer f-om care, ' said the doctor.
"It is also a fact that their glands
are more developed and in this way
they are functionally gre.ater than
other men. Another thing that aids
them Is beer. If thSj drink It mod
erately it is bound to make them
"It U seldom that oik finds a fat
man who does not drink beer. The
Germans, as a general rule, are
stouter than any oth.-r people. ThM
may be attributed to tlmr fact that
they drink beer. The beverage con
tains plenty of the sugars ne essary
to the human body and thus makes
Again, the fat man's appreciation
of things are greater.
When spring arrives and tho fish
commence biting, whom do you
find seated on the banks of the
Ftrenms and rivers in the country,
his line In tho water and he lust
asleep? The fat man.
i.VN Kest That Thin
People Hope For.
The anemic, thin Individuals ar
locked up In their offlcea pouring
over thrii books and glancing
doubtfully at thccalendar in ex-
pectation of a. vacation, hll !
fat man, without worry or car. "
lurlnp the fish irom the ;tr?ami. '
Come to think of it. Jld ycJ ever
see a fat man return home from
I iy s fishing wilho-Ot 1 cod stncg
Or n you did, was he eer without K
the talc of how he .-.iti.-ht the M- KJ
)i on.- In t Ho pond, but it eluded
him j 1 1 t as h whs r ellng 11 I
In fact, the fat man ?-"m$ ' t
r pon6ihh- lor "the marvelous
stories. 1 1 he falls to make a Sd ,
1 atch h.. will not allow such a uill-
fortune to mar the day for hlr-
hat he missed his imaRlnatlcn vu
If he can't supply his friend
with fi-h he can at least turnlibij
r rop ,.r fish stores that will enter
lain ther.i whether they btl)wl
th m or not.
p. akinc of frh nds. did you r
notice the number of admirer tlu:
gath r about Iho f -t man. 1' jjj1
tr. at to talk with him. to hear hi
laugh his appn I ition of
slightest fill of humor. While
era meet a Joke w itli 1 slUht nP
that Bounds more like a hlccoel
tho fat man will devote a httfl
laugh to the slightest 'juip 10 K
It is appreciated, even If he MU,.M
it before '
So tr.v eK- tho fat man thr3
I ev'a lane, huzm.i: with the
laughing with the jokesmfth. D
in- at dull ear, 1 ini in-' d I
edy, daring fate, care free In
of doom, heerful when wj,
lu, m- to ira l"s-s more oh"
fir If it Will.-
1 It's ha pp 1 ause he h fat. w
lies fat 'cause he's happy
1 r.,dliig Hi) Pr.Mlm liiu' Yin"" !
The 1'nltcd SI nd , i j
the Ic-idint,- Oil-producing ' 3tlc I R
the world, ire the only 11 j M
great powers w hich far from ' K
tcmniatlng the Immlnenl .. k
v. it!, appr. h. 1 ' ';, ,
It lo a profit. Ron'' M . : 5
tb( Dllteh hull, s ' U j
duclns ec.ntries will el .j
hynefll commei cial ! ,n .,. ?
io navies .to Klve th m th JTC.
tuhlty of reaplnR Ihe .olltlc 3
. ml ig - th.-lr 1 'hf!
fields would otlv rwlse '' 10 f .3
furthermore. I" -roat ' ' R
as all the European V s, J
ftrming , dnsl. the ...1 neld ol ,J
weak.. M" lnel" 2 2
seized by the nallcn Ihat 's J
. nosgh to t ike fnem cu. ) I
Th- position of 1 h- I : . ,t f.'w
will b. speclall. ""'''"".rtHlJ D
epoch, first from a " " (t.
Bndpolnt through 15,0 aimf0BBiry K
haustless resources this )(tn 51 1 K
h 1 B U draw upon for its " J
and t. to los, favored n rf .J
..nd I -from 1 ti f?.
or d 3. !
f ,, t that the Amerlt an .
. tflj well advanced pot
tmrnfng progmmmr. fflSi I IC
. - ,le ships Uld JtfttnvMrt j (J
the last six or 1 1,
fped to burn f cflil I I
lively or aa in nuxilia"