Newspaper Page Text
The Junior Call, Third and Market streets,
San Francisco, Cal., Saturday, April 1, 1911.
Here I am, Juniors, bright and early. And already I've been fooled so
many times that my head certainly begins to swim. I actually forgot the time
of year -when I started off this morning, but I wasn't left napping long. Just
as I came out of the front gate one of the neighbor boys hailed me:
"Hey there! Alonzo," he cried, "what's the matter with your tail?"' In
stinctively I wiggled that member and it worked all right. A scream of
derision greeted the wiggle and I quickly looked behind to sec what the
trouble was. "Oh, Alonzo," he cried, "you're easy. April fool!" "Tut!
tut!" said I to myself, "this will never do."
I proceeded on my way, when suddenly I spied one of the Juniors, I'm
not going to tell you which one. "Hello, Alonzo," he cried, "where are you
going?" "Down to The Call office," I replied with dignity. "Terrible,
wasn't it?" he remarked. "Wasn't what terrible?" I asked. "Why, the fire,
of course, you ninny," he replied and turned away. "Alonzo," said I, "there's
something going on in this town that you evidently don't know anything
about Bestir yourself." I halted the lad. "Where did you say the fire
was?" I asked. "The fire? Why, Alonzo, don't you know that The Call
building burned down last night?"
Right then I am quite sure you could have knocked my eyes off with a
stick. "Burned do —" I barked. "Sure. Go down and see for yourself," 6aid
my friend. I didn't wait for any more, but laid my tail flat on my back, put
my ears flat on my head and made for town in a series of long rabbit jumps.
"11l just give those people an imitation of a Httle dog in a big hurry," said I.
I took the middle of Market street, and I surely did attract some attention.
Suddenly I glimpsed the great dome afar. "Thank heaven, it's still standing!"
I thought, and raced on the faster. As I came nearer there didn't seem to be
as much excitement about the fire as I had expected to encounter. I couldn't
see that there was any crowd in front of the building at all, and I began to
slow down. "April fool, Alonzo!" and I looked lip to see my Junior friend
stepping off a streetcar. "My, but you can run!" he exclaimed. "You
beat the car in."
"Inside you go, Alonzo," said I; "you're not fit to be trusted alone. Its
I entered the elevator. "Good morning, Alonzo," said the elevator man.
"Fine morning, isn't it?" He slammed to tbe gate, when without any warn
ing we shot up into space at a terrific rate. Everything about me that could
rise—hair, ears and tail —stood up at a perpendicular angle and rose with the
elevator. When we had reached the sixth floor we stopped with a terrific
jolt, and before I could collect myself mentally, began to drop. I just nat
urally got seasick. That was all there was to it. There are some things
that a dog can't stand, and going down fast fn an elevator is one of them.
I gave vent to a howl of pure dismay, and flat on my back lifted my four feet
to heaven. "Why, what's the matter, Alonzo?" asked the elevator man,
bringing the car to a stop. "Here's your floor." I scrambled to my four feet
in astonishment. "Why, I thought the elevator was falling," I said. "Oh!*
laughed the man; "nothing so serious as that. Just a little April fool joke."
You already know how the Pup took advantage of my trusting nature.
By that time my collar was getting pretty warm, and I decided to take a hand
in the game myself. I sent the Pup out of th< office on some pretext or
other, and while he was away poured a bottle of gory red ink down my front.
Just as he came in the door I flopped over on the desk and began to groan in
a most hideous fashion. Puppy's fur just rose on end. "Run for the doctor,
Pup," I cried; "I've been murdered," One glance at my red front was
enough, and away he sped, returning with a doctor, a trained nurse and an
ambulance in no time. I recovered sufficiently to enable the physician to
diagnose my case. Puppy immediately dried his tears and endeavored to
make me believe that he knew the joke all the time.
This week I received a note from one of the Juniors who said that her
grandfather's dog, Dandy, would like to meet me. Which is very nke of
Dandy, and some time I trust a meeting can be arranged. In the meantime,
remember me to my new friend and give him my very best wishes. I hope
none of you had as strenuous a set of experiences as I had today. It's really
wearing on a person's nervous system. Write to me. ALONZO.
I SHORT BARKS FROM ALONZO ~f
-♦— «•» ! 1 *
The man who invented April Fools' day must have been the victim of a
This is the day we play jokes, by the way
From morning's first rays until night; j
We pu'l the cat's tail
And then laugh at her wail,
And tic the new pop to a kite.
The other day I was hurrying along Grant avenue when I spied a man
ahead of me wearing a most abominably shaped pair of trousers. "Now, wljat
d'ye think of that?" I said to a friend. "That man's tailor ought to be
"Wake up, Alonzo," said my friend; "that s a lady in a harem skirt.
You never can tell.
Mrs. Master is having a terrible time with her Easter bonnet. The
milliner, who is giver, to realism, suggested that the have a cottontail on it;
but Mrs. Master said if she couldn't have a velvet or satin tail, or a real fur
tail, she wouldn't have any tail at all. And now the milliner is wondering
just what Mrs. Master thought she meant.
The Pup expects to get a corner on eggs this Easter. Instead of pre
paring a nest for the bunnies, he is planning to hand up his stocking all same
Christmas, as he figures that the latter will hold more than a nest. But I'm
ciuite sure that no rabbit on earth, no matter how -foolhardy, is going to run
A. •i. t f..»i;.-,rr lUim v vfrirkiiicr. I wouldn't if 1 were a rabbit: would you?
'nil-: SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 1911.— THE JUNIOR CALL.
Two prizes will be given for the two best drawings submitted by the
Juniors each week, the prize winning sketches to be reproduced in the
paper. The prizes awarded will be the best books for boys and girls
obtainable, and will embrace fiction, travel, fairy lore, aeroplane building,
etc. These books are the newest publications, and are being received
every day from the east. This week's subject is:
"CLIMBING THE LADDER."
Be sure to give your name, age and school, as in the puzzle and writing
contests; and, above all things, use black ink for your sketches, as the
blue fluid will not permit of reproduction. Prize winners will be an
nounced in the paper of April 15. '
Below are reproduced toe two prize winners for this week.
"ON THE BEACH"
it , . . —_____ ■—— ; 1 ; »
|: ?- Awarded a prize. Drawn b$ Hazel Pepper, Shson. Age 15. |
> * — : '■ .—. '- : ' •
——, —— »
Awarded a prize. Drawn by Anita Morton, 2025 Alhton J»as, Berkeley.
♦ —■ ■ —♦
LEGEND OF THE WOODPECKER
Away, away in the northland,
Where the hours of the day are few.
And. the nights are bo long In winter
That they can not sleep them through,
They M»H a curious Btory,
I do not believe it is true;
And yet you may learn a lesson
If I tell this tale to you:
Onef, when good Saint Peter
Lived in this world below,
And walked about at preaching
(Just as he did, you know).
He came to the door of a cottage,
In traveling 'round the earth.
Where a little woman was making
And baking them on the hearth.
Being faint wRh fasting—
For the day was almost done —
He asked her, from her store of cakep,
To give him a single one.
So she took a tiny scrap of dough
And rolled and rolled it flat.
And baked It as thin as a wafer,
But «he couldn't part with that.
Then she kneaded another,
And still a smaller one,
But H looked, when she turned it over,
As large as the first had been.
She said, "My cakes that seem so small
When I eat them all myself,
Are yet too large to give away,"
So she laid them on the shelf.
•» 1 —— 1
A pointless hatpin, with interchange
able heads ha» become popular Jn Paris.
Having no point to protrude beyond
the side of the hat, It 1b obvious that
Then good Saint Peter grew angry,
For he was hungry! and faint,
And surely such c a woman . :
Was enough to provoke a saint.
He said, "You 'are far too selfish
To: dwell iln ; human; form.
You have both food and shelter
And a fire !to keep you warm. , ;
"Now you shall live as the birds do,
And get your scanty food . , , " '
By boring and boring and boring '
•*■ All day in the hard, dry wood." '
So up through the chimney she went.
Never speaking a word.
And out at the top flew a woodpecker—
For she was changed to a bird.
She had a scarlet hood on her head,
That.was left the same,: -. .".•.'
But all the rest of her clothes were
burned .; t/ •. ; ■ ■ '■■,■' '-.'>!.
- As black as the coal in the flame, c >
And every country '. schoolboy • ' c ,,;;; i
. Has seen her in the wood, . • V ■■. ■, ■._•
Where she lives to this very day. .>• »
Boring and boring for food. .: : -i
This is the lesson'she teaches: , , -'
". Live not for yourself • alone,* . ...,
l^est : the needs you ;do not pity ■ ..■:,
May one day be your own.
Give plenty of what is given you -
And list: to pity's call; . : :.
Don't think the little you give Is great.
Nor the much you have is small. •;,,"
. .'' —' ' / —-—- ■ i' >
the pin will not endanger the eyes of
other people. Each hatpin is in reality
two pins with one head, the pin part
sliding through a starlike fixture per
manently attached to the hat. Heads
of various designs are provided with,