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EDITORIAL
DRAMATIC
SOCIETY
VOLUME < XIII. -NO. a
A POLICEMAN ON A NEW BEAT AND A
FIGHTER IN A STRANGE ARENA
ROUGH as an equinoctial storm,
chastening as a June shower,
and. withal, as refreshing as
gentle dew in parched midsum
mer, was the triple nature
♦f the epistolary deluge of abuse
wherewith inconstant readers over
whelmed me last week. I think that
nearly everybody in town who hadn't
seen the show took the pains to write
and tell me how myopic my morals
had become in the face of "The Kiss
Waltz," whose improprieties they
neither had seen, but, excelling me in
"virtue, had felt. I was becoming eth
ically nearsighted, so I was informed,
and the abuse in their voluminous
torrent of ragfng, unsigned corre
spondence was reckless enough. To
the Influence of every noxious energy,
from managerial bribery to the smiles
i©f the vivid Valeska. was attributed
my Incapacity to see evil In the per
formance they had not (yet) wit
nessed—for you can not know with
what indecent alacrity the morality of
some folk hastens to suspect the
molality of others. That was the
rough element in the aforementioned
ambiguous stOrm of impolite letters.
Ah, but it was refreshing to reflect
that, after all, so many persons had
been doing me the honor of reading
my "copy." Sad though it is to relate,
candor compels the confession that I
was willing to accept the abuse
unexpected joy of the revelation that
some folks took me with such gravity
as to urge them to the expense of a
2 cent stamp and the pains of an un
acknowledged message in order to
scold me about my review.
Writing hastily between midnight
and morning, a modest critic comes to
think that nobody but copy readers,
linotype operators and a. few others
who are farced to do it, pay any atten
tion to what one says. This torrential
evidence to the contrary thus came as
the refreshing element In the afore
mentioned ambiguous storm of impolite
letters.
Since it seemed settled that I had a
•"following," even if abusive, it be
hooved me, so I advised myself, to es
tablish pleasant relations with my
readers. To/lose the prize of atten
tion the instant it .was gained was al
together too much like the fate that
befell the unfortunate hero' of Calde
ron's ancient play, and was rtOt to be
endured if I could help it. However
lamentable might have been my fall
ure to be as horrified as It was deemed
by those who hadn't seen Valeska that
I should have bean, I would redeem
myself and re-engage their esteem, per
haps, by devoting this page to highly
moral considerations. Thus arose the
chastening element 4n the already
thrice aforementioned ambiguous storm
of impolite letters, and thus, too, I was
guided aright to the policeman at the
Orpheum and to the prize fighter at the
Empress.
* * *
ipv ELIEVING that nothing tends so
r\ much to give distinction to moral
precepts as quotations culled from
other writers, I * may be permit
ted to say that Ed Morton, who
now wears an 'Orpheum starsliip
with becoming dignity, is by no means
in agreement with the great German
playwright. Leasing, who makes one
of bis characters, and a lady's maid
at that, say: "People seldom talk of
the virtues they possess, and all the
more often of that which they do not
possess.'' (I'd give you the original
German, only I don't know it.) Morton
believes rather in keeping his light on
top of the bushel. The musical mono
logist asked me to give this message
to San Francisco policemen, urging
himself as an example of-the beneficent
result accruing to those who heeded:
"I lost my ipb as sergeant of police
when a reform administration got an
innings in Philadelphia. I had a pretty
hard struggle to get along, because all
I made on the job was a hundred dol
lars a month and what else I could
get, and that wasn't any too much to
keep my family and myself in toy five
room home in Philadelphia. But when
they put up a job on me and broke me
I didn't lose heart. I didn't try to
drown my sorrows in saloons.' T claim
and always have claimed that if a man
keeps away from drink he'can* always
get something better. Look at me. I
now. make as much in a few weeks on
the vaudeville stage»as I used to get
in a whole year, even when politics was
in Its Philadelphia prime. So, never
get disheartened or drunk."
Willie Ritchie, the lightweight cham
pion pugilist of the world ,<I guess it's
of the world, but ytfu'd better ask
Slattery), attributes Tils professional
achievements entirely to his abstemi
ous habits. He never smoked in all
his life, doesn't know the taste of
liquor and is now making 11,500 a
week. Thus, as says Gay in his epistle
to Methuen (page 614 of my book ef
quotations), "Virtue Is Its own reward."
THE CALL
SAN FRANCISCO, SUNDAY. DECEMBER 8, 1912.
Being borne mgniy
Moral Reflections,
From Interview
With Ed Mortij
and Willie Ritchl
MORTON, who you will see is per
sonified frankness, told me how
he had come into the possession
of his commendable scruples. # He
wanted me to make a note of it that
his father died of strong drink, that
his mother used to indulge in a drop
too much, much too often and that his
brother, following unsteady footsteps,
bad come to a tangled end. These con
fidences were revealed to me with the
succinct charm and brevity of a ser
geant's report on the police blotter.
"So I made up my mind to keep off
the stuff," said Morton, "not that I
mind seeing another fellow take a glass
of beer or whisky, but X can't swallow
the" stuff; I.'don't* like it myself.' Live
and let live, is what I say.
"So when the reform administration
'broke' me I,didn't lose heart. I always
had a fine Voice and used to sing
around at club affairs and soon I found
a man who paid me 110 a night every
time he got me a job tp sing three
songs. 'Pretty easy,' said I to ray
self, and soon I was getting a whole
lot more money. Keeping sober and
out of'saloons was what did it. There's
nothing to it
"I nearly forgot to tell you that I
Inherited my stage ability from my
father. He was the first Black Crook
In this country. He originated the role
at Niblo's gardens.* Afterward he be
came Mrs. John Drew's leading man
at "the old Arch street theater in Phila
delphia and later he went to' England;
where he died soon after purchasing
from McKee Rankin the European
rights to 'The Danites' and 'Forty,
nine." My father was always very uo»
lucky."
* * *
MORTON is opposed to suggestive
songs.' He says they do not pay.
"I have never sung a song
before the public that I wouldn't sing
to my wife and four children," said bV.
"It's ai mistake to think that the pub
lic want's'smut on the stage.
"High salaries go with high class
songs. I've.found that out. I intro
duced 'Mariouch at Coney Isle," 'The
Right Church But the Wrong Pew,'
'When Mother Plays a Rag on the
Sewing Machine' and a lot of other
classy songs like those, without a
single suggestive line.in one of them.
And when a pal needs a new song 1
give it to him, if I happen to have one
that I don't need. If I say it myself,,
J am one of the most popular vaude
ville stars—among the players thera
selves, I mean—for I don)t believe in
getting the swell head just because
your salary may be a little bigger than,
somebody else's. And it always brings
me good luck to help a pal out."
The advent of-the former sergeant of
Philadelphia police on the Orpheum
stage has heeh quite, an event among
the boys of the billy and blue coat
Morton's audience, has, been swelled by
the presence of Captain Gleeson, Cap
tain Colby, Captain O'Day and Cap
tain Kelly, not* to mention many other
peace provokers and Lieutenant
Wright, who, when' 'I entered the
Orpheum was. leaning in a reflective
attitude against the back wall, listen
ing to the songs that Morton was sing
ing. "I wonder what- he'd do." said
Wright, speculatively, **X I'd blow the
sergeant's whistle on hint?"
Of course I couldn't say, so I asked
Mr. Morton later when we met him
coming off the stage, befda of perspir
ation bespangling bia; brow, and a
Walter Anthony
smile of expansive dimensions lighting*
up his countenance.
The. question was Inconsequential,
but suggested to former Sergeant Mor
ton how he came to be "broke," and
though the narrative may seem to de
part from my intention of keeping
these columns close to moral Issues,
a little reflection may persuade you,
my reconciled reader, that, after all, It
is highly edifying.
Anyway, It starts out with the
Liberty bell, as you shall see.
VFor two years," said the musical
monologist, "my beat from 12 o'clock
midnight till 7 o'clock in the morning
was around the Liberty bell, of which
I was. guard, at Sixth and Chestnut
streets. And many a good nap I've
had Inside it. That was before I was
a sergeant, of course. But promotion
came my way, for I was one, of the
willing workers and merited advance
ment if anybody ever did. I used to
register 16 votes from my little five
room house, and that was some sign
of Royalty. But the little 43 a day
politician gets the worst of it when
a change in administration comes. The
big fellow has 'got his,* and can lay off'
till his crowd gets In again, but the
'little fellow* has only just about
gfuhbed along with all his side lines.
That's the way it was with me. No
sooner did the reformers get in than
they went after my joh. They wanted
me to squeal 'on some of the still
smaller fry, and just because.l wouldn't
they put up a mean job on me. If I
hadn't been square I could have
stayed where I was, but I was marked
for slaughter and they got me. They
had a patrolman swear that he hadn't
'pulled.' when he really had. Of course,
when he 'pulled' I marked him down
as..on the lob. and later, when he swore
that he hadn't 'pulled,' they.broke me
on the charge of having falsified my
report."
Perhaps, intelligent reader, you don't
understand what ''pulled" means. As
I used, to "do" police, It is with par
donable pride that I inform you that
to "pull" means to telephone from your
beat the glad tidings to central station
that you are awake.
Ed Morton, after«, seven years on
tho force, found himself out of a job
because he wouldn't Inform on certain
patrolmen who had been doing, things
they "hadn't ought ter."
"Some of 'em," said Morton, his In
dignation growing at the thought of.
it, "had been on the force for eighteen
years, and had only two years more
to go- before they got their pension
of $50 a month granted by indulgent
Philadelphia to its guardians of the
peace." The thought of these poor
POMcemen being defrauded of their
pension for such pecadlllos*as are Imr
plied in registering at the rate Of
three and one-fifth citizens per room
in their modest homes, waa too re
pugnant to be considered, and so Mor-
ton found himself bereft of his badge
and his cap and also part of the tra
ditional tenants in his five room home.
However, in this climax of his affairs
Morton kept a firm hold on himself.
did not indulge in drink and kept light
hearted, serene in virtue and the con
sciousness thereof. He kept .strug
gling away, likewise, and when he
reflected how easily he "got his songs
over" In the entertainments he had
graced on many a happy amateur oc
casion he concluded to try his for
tune, like Orpheus, with his music
There was a musical comedy raging
at the Lyceum theater, and thither
Morton wended his light hearted way.
He told the manager that he under
stood the show was shy a specialty and
that he had reason to believe he wia
the man to fill the vacancy. The man
ager was, less sanguine, and demanded
to know what experience the applicant
had. "Never mind that." said Morton.
"Let me go on and I'll s!*ow you what
I can do." ' The manager was willing to
take a chance, and Mortdn went on. I
have his word for it that he was a
tremendous and an instant hit, that the
musical comedy manager took him
upstairs at once after the performance
and signed him up for two yeara
"Since which time," said Morton, "I
have quickly made my way to-the top.\
You know, in New York they say that
only the classiest of acts can get Into
the San Francisco Orpheum. A whole
lot of good teams come down from
Portland, play Oakland and then pass
on, never to appear on this side of the
bay. If they book you in New York
for the San Francisco Orpheum you're
»I 1 right.
"Of course I was pretty anxious
about making good on the opening
night last Sunday, and the ovation I
got was so great that I nearly cried
with joy. I could have come out west
before, but I have been busy in the
east, and it seems as though they
wouldn't let me go. I hope to come
west often from now on. My records
that I have made for the Victor talking
machine help to advertise me. -Even
In Boston when I went there for the
first time the audience 'gave me a
band* because they knew me from my
songs in the phonograph."
Impressing once more upon my im
pressionable soul his message to San
Francisco police, Ed Morton, who used
to tend the Liberty bell by night and
politics by day. bade me a genial and
kindhearted good day. That I may
not fail in my trust I shall quote his
message:
"It doesn't matter how humble you
are nor what difficulties a reformed
ministration may plunge you in, if
you keep sober and light hearted you
will surely rise to something better."
So, with the reflection, taken from
Longfellow's "Michael Angelo," where
in the cloud referred to may be the
symbol of the lonesome man,of virtue.
I will take over to the Empress
for a brief chat with Willie Ritchie.
Thif.' is the poetical reflection from
Longfellow, aa brought to mind out of
EDITORIAL.
DRAMATIC
SOCIETY
PAGES 29 TO 36.
Morton's ethical chat on morals, poli
tics and the destiny of the good:
By unseen bands uplifted in the Ugtit
Of sunset, yonder solitary cloud
Floats, with its white apparel blown abroad
And wafted op to heaven.
* # ♦
I WAS quite surprised in Willie Ritchie.
He wears no cauliflower ear, hut
a smile of boyish Ingenuousness. His
recent achievement of the champion
ship of-the world in the lightweight
division of the art of self-defense sits
easily on him. He gives himself no
airs, perhaps because he has had to
fight too hard for bis honors to over
rate their elusive qualities. He says
that he likes the vaudeville game be
cause it keeps him In trim, and Ritchie,
whose real name is Geary Steffen, could
not be happy if he wasn't fit. He
wouldn't say that he believed In the
game of prise fighting, but ha waa cer
tain that every man of family should
encourage his boys to Indulge them
selves in' athletics.
"You see it's this way," explained
Ritchie. "When a boy finds that the
development of hia muscles makes the
other boys run away rrom him he will
take pride in getting more strength,
and this will keep him from bad hab
its. Most boys learh to smoke just
because they think it is smart and in
order to copy the example of their
elders. That's the way most of them
take to drinking, too. If they And out
that doing these things injures their
wind and hurts them in other ways
they won't do It and wllLapend their
time in gymnasiums, which la batter
than being In saloons."
Where Ritchie worked out'his direct
philosophy I can not say. He is lum
ber six of a family of eleven, ajgifhls
elder brother Is his sparring partner in
his vaudeville act. He didn't make his
deductions,-I am sure, from any con
trary habits of those surrounding him.
A pretty and gentle voiced slater had
already knocked at his dressing room
door, announcing the Important fact
that she was waiting for him.
With the air of one about to reveal
an odious weakness Ritchie confessed
to me that he enjoyed the contempla
tion of 25 weeks in vaudeville, because
—and he pointed to an empty box that
once held candy, or Its printed label be
lied it, and an empty carton that lay
on the floor, a mute reminder of an ice
cream orgy that was over. "A fellow
can't eat sweets," said he, **when he's
.training."
This confession of a weakness for
"sweets" and the fact that the cham
pion's brother Frank gets the small
end of the vaudeville salary were the
only items I could glean from my in
terview with the San Francisco boy
that were unworthy of emulation.
"Why should Frank get the big end
"of the salary?" asked Willie Ritchie.
"For the licking he takes three times
a day," said I.
"You're right," said Frank with deep
feeling and a bruised upper lip.
You remember the words of the good
book: "The servant is worthy of his
I hire."
