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two dollaus l'eu annum. <?
GOD AjSTX) OTJROOITNTRY,
3 9, LS77.
always ix advance'
My Great Aunt's Will.
I am a clerk in a country stoic,
and sometimes I wish I'd been a mar
tyr in those days when they stretch
ed people on beds of spikes or roasted
them on a gridiron. Then I think I
could have taken a little comfort in
This is the way of it: I am behind
the counter on the side were wo keep
prints, and there trots up to the
opposite side, where \vc keep flannels,
a customei neither young nor beauti
ful. I hurry around and across, and
ehe asks for calicoes; and then I turn
her about and make my way back,
and 1 pull down half a dozen pieces,
but she just gazes at the shelves, says
(?he'd like to look at the under on the
lop shelf*; I climb up, tit the ri.sk of
brenking my neck, and get the under
piece out, and she concludes 'tisn't
what she thought it \vi>s. Then she
says she would like to look at "that
stripe"; I blunder on to every other
stripe before I get her particular
stripe. Then she say.- she wants a
?little figure, and I get all the little
ifiguros out for her. Fhe wants to
"know how much 'tis a yard; I sav six
vents, and she says she can get bet ter
in Springfield for five cents, and she
looks tit mo suspiciously as if I was a
cheating youth. .She wants to know
if it'll wash, and she looks at mo in
dignantly, ns if I was a saucy youth
Thi n she asks mr. if we take eggs, und
1 say we d?>, and we pny twenty-eight
?cmts, and she pays they're paying
"thirty c< uts at ihe other store; and off
the goes, and I put up the prints, and
am down at the further end of the
mom turning frai'incuts out of a
cracker barrel when back s c comes
-and wants sum pies.
We keep the pnstofiice, and by the
time I cet back, to. my cracker barrel,
in conies a irftiii who wants to know if
Ire lufsti't a letter. He never, had a
Jv^.lIhTli.w-~Ji ond he faimfc^tr
in.d I ? km?w it; 1 ut it is one of those
?UaXs ti.ut both parties ignore and I
?go mid look, and give him the consol
iug nfPiirnnce that in hasn't any, ami
"he departs in peace of mind.
Then there is a lady who wants to
match a confounded bit ot silk braid,
dinl) bordering on the lilac. It takes
me five minutes to find one box of
pilk braids, and five more to find .we
iiavn't drab bordering on the lilac.
Then she wants tewing silk the same
shade, and I hunt through all the sew
ing silks, and there's drab bordering
?on everything else under the sun ex
cept lilac; but I know by the way her
flounces sweep out that a mercantle
house.not keeping drab bordering on
the lilac stands very low.
I get down to the further ond of the
siofe again, and there comes a man to
the front door, nud yells out loud
enough for every customer to hear
that he's brought back that barrel of
flour; says the bread was black and
all dough in the middle. Now that
man understood, when he had that
flour, that it was inferior quality, not
recommended, and he had it cheap,
and. took it because it was cheap. I
help him roll the flour in, and can see
that' he thinks he has circumvented a
That's the way it goes day after
day, week after week, and I hate tea,
detest salerattts, abhor codfish, and
wish, calico, cotton cloth, drilling,
htfofcs, and eyes, and all the rest of the
wretched ? necessities of any artificial
civilization" were at the lnttoni of the
Indian Ocean. I long co be a savage
more than I do an angel, and I shall
be one of these days, though I do
wear cloth suits, and have a shaving
mug at the barber's marked in gilt
letters S.O. Haynes. I wouder that
nil' self-respect and sentiment of hu
manjt/hafiu't long ago perished from
out. my bosom.
Stich ? were my reflections one fine
morning just after train timo, while I
was - weighing out half a pound of
black" tea, when my fellow-sufferer in
the oVy-goods nud grocery infliction
"Heirc's a lady inquiring for you
In distinct outlono before the door
fctood d little woman, her skirls spread
out by a tri-anyular hoop like tho
skirts of the female figures we used to
draw'on our slates at school. I came
up to mnkc my bow, and saw she had
deposited a brown willow basket on
the show-case and dropped a black
glazed hag at her side. She wore a
stringy kind of shawl, with fearfully
long fringe, and seemed to be afflicted
with numb palsy.
"Are you my nephew Sam'wcl ?"
"My name is fianuiel llayncs,
"I'm your father's aunt, Loueczcr
"I'm glad to sec you, Aunt
She looked at me sharply, as if I
was making fun of her. I suppose it
is because tli3 cornets of my mouth
turn up, people are always suspecting
me of making fun of them. I wish
those corners would sink; and wonder
[ they don't.
'?I v?'ttr only living female relative
1 on the father's side," said she.
My business experience with
females had been so inibittering, I
was glad to learn she was the only one
on the father's .side.
"As yuu'.v no mother, I feel it my
duty to help make a home for you."
Instantly I remembered that Aunt
Louisa was worth 875,000. I think I
learned that fact in early years at the
paterna' knee, along with who made
me, nnd \vl at state I lived in. I know
it always stood to my infantile con
sciousness in the relation of a prim try
truth. My father, all his life, courted
poverty through the medium of dry
goods ami groceries, and went through
bankruptcy as often*as the law would
allow. During thu periodic seasons,
before calling the creditors and mik
ing an assignment, he used to cliinp
his hands to his head nud ejaculate :
"Louisa t might help me. if she;oply
Bttf.: L'httvua ?vmTtTTn't, or utTeast
didn't, and whatever may be thought
cd'her filial affection mature observa
tions on the oscillations in the mo?
lasses and ginger market have con
vinced me of the soundness ofher
"I'm delighted to see you, Aunt
Louisa. I'll go right down to my
honrding-place with you."
Hence, with a brown willow bask
et in one hand and a shiny leather
bag in the other, and my great-aunt
trotting behind ?why under heaven
she didn't walk by* my sitle I couldn't
see !?we meandered down tho street.
We met Evelina Angelia Plimpton.
I wa3 engaged to Evelina Angelia.
1 had enjoyed that boner ever since
one July evening when there came up
.a sudden thunder-shower, and she
clasped my arm and ejaculated she
was "so-fiiM-id " An engagement was
an annual episode with Evelina.
When I solemnly asked Pa Plimp
ton's consent ho didn't remove his
pipe from his mouth, butjust uoded,
und pursued his previous train of
thought. Evelina smiled patroniz
ingly upon me. Deference to the
uged I knew she considered beauti
My aunt didn't like my hoarding
place, and wasn't pleased with my
boarding mistress. She thought we'd
better keep house, and I spent the
next fortnight house-hunting with
her. The great desideratum seemed
to bo the right kind of a "buttery";
one would have supposed butter was
to be the staff of life with us. Wo at
last found a "buttery" on the north
west corner, opening in tu both kitch
en nnd dining-room, having the re
quisite number of cupboards, having
shelves that admitted of being takeu
out in house-cleaning time, painted a
bewitching cream-color; and we en
gaged that buttery, regardless of cost
or the character of the neighborhood.
The next momentous step was to
get my aunt's "things" removed.
Wero I writing a st ientific essay on
psychological distinctions of sex; I j
should moko one strong point the
tenacious attachment of the feminine
mind to "things." Ten thousand
dollars in stocks and bonds at ktake
in an unsettled estate havo been
, uown to c.v. itc lcr:^ iulcrc-t and
create less jealousy than the disposi
tion of ah odd table-cloth.
My. aunt was for some days in a
harrowing state of indecision as to
whether she had better have her
things invoiced as freight or to hire a
car. By virtue of the handsomest
figures I learned to make at Commer
cial College, I proved to her it would
be cheapest to hire the car. I had to
go to her former place of abode to seo
about getting tin thingseiiroutc, and
I had to "meet them with a carriage"
nt our depot. I felt like a collector
of antiquities just gett ing an assort
ment over from Egypt. I shall ever
feel gnteful to the small boys of our
village for their self-restraint on this
tempting occasion. I don't recollect
a single opprobrious epithet. They
treated rny loads with a respect to
which nothing but hoary hairs could
There was a cheese press, nnd I j
don't know but a cider-mill; there was I
something, With four tremendously
heavy legs, I alway believed to be
something in disguise of a bedstead.
There were seven bandboxes (four
large and three small), five feather
beds, seventeen comfortables, aud a
great deal of crockery which evident
ly came over in the Mayflower, but
had much better have put back to
land in the Speedwell.
I need not say that our residence
when furnished was neat but not
gaudy. I slept under a "ris ng-sun"
bcd-qui!t, and had a round braided
mnt to put my feet on when I got out
in tho morning. I sighed for my
former cozy quarters, but I remember
ed my aunt's valuation, and reasoned
that if she was my only living female
relative on the father's side, I must
of necessity be her only hying male
relative ot] the mother'a side.
Soon after we were domesticated I
found that my aunt, was subject to
mysterio 113 attacks, which,attacksjji}V.
Vat'hiTiilv^seizjd her in the night tim i,
and made it imperative that I should
run for the d ictor. Liability to these
attacks precluded the possibility of
lay being away from home evenings,
except Sunday and Thursday even
ing*, when 1 wiis expected to see my
aunt to prayer-meetings and attend
I her home, though Evelina went off in
an opposite direction with another
fel!o\.. I didn't know but justice
both to myself nnd Evelina demanded
that. I should have a conversation I
with my aunt, and set before her, in I
language which even a child might
understand, my views of the duties
aud privileges of an engaged man;
but I felt extremely doubtful of her
sympathy, aud seventy-five thousand
was a good deal to risk.
We had one servant, whose wages
my aunt thought it right I should
pay, because, as she said, if there was
no one but herself, she shouldn't keep
a girl. Our cuisine was managed with
strict regard to economy. We lived
j largely upon soup, which consisted
principally of broth. My aunt highly
esteemed marrowbones. I wonder if
it is generally known among physiolo
gists how long a healthy person can
subsist on a persistently boiled mar
For two or three years T had been
in the habit of smoking a single cigar
at the close of the day's labor. One
evening I sitting on the piazza indulg
ing in this luxury, when out cams my
"Sam'wel7" cried she, "me you
"Yes'm," very meekly.
"Well," said she, calmly but firm
ly "none of my money shall ever go
up in cigar-smoke." Then again,
"How much do you pay for cignrs?"
"Now, Sam'wel, I want you take
your pencil and calculate how much
ten cents a day will amount to iu a
year, then how much in fifty years,
then I want you to put this sum at
compound interest, and see how much
it will amount to by the time you are
seventy five years of ago."
It struck mc that I had somehow,
during my lifetime, met with similar
problems, but I conscientiously made
"Aunt,'' cried I, "i am perfectly
appalled. '? Never did I dream of this.
Of whit mall extravnnce have I been
guilty!" and wildly I hurled my
cigar into the camomile bed.
It becamegenerally known through
out our viHage that my aunt was
wealthy and- that I wns heir-expect
ant, nnd I srion perceived that, wheth
er or not licver obtained the gold, I
was going ;to havo the glory. At a
town meoting;, legally called, and with
the moderate in the chair, T was elec
ted one ?ofihe nine prudential com
mitte men ^tjduty-?"to sec about get
ting wood." a Our Sabbath school ap
pointed mo delegate to confereucc at
Commingford-: privileges?to lose my
time, pay n?y own fare, change cars
twice sluge hgfivc miles.over a coun
try road atlil through a November
, landscape: jirospocts?address by
Deacon Tliojoas Jones: music?that
iure and intricate composition. "Shall
we gather at jhe river."
I secured tfre position of watchman
at our store every other Sunday night.
! Aunt asked ;^ roe if I t xpocted extra
pay for thisHferyjce, and said I did.
Evelina hud^4?liUed of green reps for
our pnrlor, bijf J;i'ouinl that her cal
culations hndfonow ascended to sonic
kind of rose c.ojftred sofnething, value
about treble thafcofjthereps.
Aunt was ntjjlongth seized with an
"attack*' of m?ro than ordinary vio
lence. I called three.physicians, for
I shrunk froi.|<cxposing myselfito the
irresponsible ,village gossip which
might acnuse| jap of not employing
every effort ^br-the prolongation of
her life. Wjtbjtbree doctors in at
tendance, sheV'iint unreasonably felt
that this atlncj^ Vbuld prove final and
sent for a lawVer.1 I was in a state of
great nervous'trepi dtition.
"If there ..anything I can do for
you, aunt?" V- ''
"Nothing now.". ' '
"Ha?? yoir-'nurse,' arranged'your
"Perfect ly comfortable."
Solemn scenes have no place in
this narruiive, and I pass on to the
time when we were assembled for the
rending of the will?the lawyer, the
doctor, the minister and myself. That
instrument ran as follows :
I After paying my putt dues and my funer
al expenses, and providing a suitable monu
ment, 1 give and bequeath to my beloved
nephew, .Samuel O. Hayncs, his heirs and
assign?, fur their use and behoof forever, all
my wearing apparel and personal orna
ments, with the exception of my gold beads,
which I bequeath to my namesake, Louis
I Hayncs of St. Joseph, Missouri; all my
beds nnd bedding, household utensils and
furniture, with the exception of my great
anu-ehai r, which, as it came in on the Jones
side, 1 wish to go to some deserving mem
ber of that family. I also give my nephew
Samuel S5, with which to buy a reference
Kibble in my remembrance, nnd al?o the
Healed pador of instruction accompanying
this instrument, which I wish him to read
a year hence in the presence of the witnesses
now assembled for the rcadirg of this my
The remainder of my property, both real
and personal, with the exception of the
legacies hereinafter named, I bequeath to
the American Missionary society, neither
legacies nor bequests to be paid until a year
and a day hence.
When the lawyer was through read
ing I had no clear idea to whom these
legacies were devised, but I remarked
that the American Missionary society
was a most worthy organization.
The naturo of the will was soon
made public. Popular sentiment was
that of resignation, not to say of
satisfaction, on my account. My
companions, who had never seen why
deserving merit in my case should
meet such disproportionate reward,
while their own plodded along on a
weekly stipend, with no great-aunt's
estate in prospective, naturally ex
perienced a revival of confidence in
the equitable government of the uni
verse. Elderly friends in church and
Sabbnth school felt that I had cause
for rejoicing in being spared the
snares and temptations which accom
pany wealth. My employer privately
evpressed the opinion that I hal been
I getting abovo ray business, and ho
was glad to sec mo takeu down a peg.
Evelina said : "Never mind; we don't
care for money." But not many days
after Evelina told mo she had begun
to realize what a solemn ordinance
was matrimoney; she and I were both
young, und had our way to make, and
she thought, perhaps, for the present,
it would be better for us to consider
ourc'clvcs cnlv friend i.
I snid : "Very well," nnd felt that
I was a lonely bark tossed on a wild
nnd watery waste.
I bad read of instances similar to
mine where the scale 1 packet or the
old Bibble proved to contain bank
notes; but finger the paper left me as
I would I could make nothing of it
Fora year I went calmly and hope
lessly forward in the dry goods and
grocery way, and then we assembled
lor the opening of my sealed orders?
the lawyer, the doctor, the minister
and myself. The fist words that met
my eyes ris I unfolded tho paper
"And all former wills by tue made
I do hereby revoke,*' etc. With pal
pitating heart I passed the document
to the lawyer. After provisions and
legacies similar to those in tho first
insttumcnt, this latter document pro
ceeded as follcwa :
To the American Missionary Society 1
give and bequeath the rani of S25,000
To my be'ovcd nephew, Samuel U. Hny
ncs who I hone may have learned, during
the year that has passed, lesson* of wisdom
more valuable than money, I bequeath the
sum of $25,000. which I direct my excutor
to pay over to said Hay no? as soon asmiy
be convenient. I further direct my execu
tor to antiunlly pay to said Hayncsthe in
come from the remainder of my properly,
both real and personal, and to pay from the
principal to said llaynea on his thirtieth
birthday,* if he he living, or to his heirs ro
aligns if deceased, the sum of $2 >,000, and
to pay to Raid Hayneson Ms thirty-fifth
birthday the remainder of my property, be
it more or less.
I went down to thestote just as usu
al the next morning, for I whished to
show people that I had too good seuse
to have my head turned. When I
filled our best customer's molasses jug
with kerosene I knew I had demon
strated my coolness.
The chairman of the board of select
men wanted to know what I should
advise in regard to rebuilding the
Piper stone bridge: the doctor asked
?wh t my candid opinion was concern
of ammonia and iodide of potassium
in a case of pleuritis where cgophony
denotes slight effusion, but with strong
indications of,adhesion of the med ins
I tiiium; aud the minister said there
was an article on "Semi Pelagian ism
; in the Fourteenth Century" in the
JJiL/iofJiccn &ucra he thought I would
enjoy perusing. As I stood on the
hall doO'step after singing school that
evening, Eveliua came out back of
me, aud she, with a little shiver.
"Oh, how (fu ark it is !"
It flashed across me, as I offered
my arm for escort home, that to the
fetnine imagination matrimony on tho
income of seventy-five thousand dol
lars is naturally a less "solemn ordin
ance" than on a precarious salary of
eight dollars a week, and nothing
found but peppermint drop3.
Presently Evelina remarked:
'?Aren't you very lontftj since your
aunt died ?"' tender emphasis on the
lonely. My aunt had been dead a
year, and Eveliua "engaged" at 1 list
once in the meantime.
"Not atall; my time nnd attention
are likely to be entirely absorbed in
"No one can rejoice more sincerely
in your good fortune than do I Samu
"I don't doubt it, Evelina; I shall
always feel confident of your friend
I leave Evelina at her cottage gate,
and I feel tont?
Of all the glad words of tongue or pen,
The gladdest are these?"it wasn't to have
tIic next afternoon my*cmploycr
invited me to be suited behind the
railing that fenced iu our office, and
said he, laying his hand on my shoul
der with a confidential, a parental,
"Samuel, I have been reflecting tip
on my duty to you. You are a young
man just starting in life, and starting,
iu some respects, under favorable cir
cumstances, but everything depends
upon your starting right You have
always been faithful to my interests,
and I have determined t? show my
appreciation of that faithfulness. 1
have decided to sell out to you\"
A glance at the door showed me
thnt the way of cscapo was not cut oft'.
"With all the varied interests of
the bur-iuc you tire already familiar;
we arc yearly drawing in more of tho
trade from surrounding towns; wo'?'??
have the confidence of our customers^ ?
we have the confidence of wholesale ?'
dealers; we can buy to the best ad van"'..!
tage. To all these privileges you will
succeed. Purely is there such an ' '
opening for a young man. Consult
our books, consider our profits, reflect
upon the income from tho post
office?" t . ?
"Sir," interrupted I, in thunderous
tones, "by the blessing of ProVidcnde?!'
and the benevolence of my aunt, who.;?
is to have a monument that willb>in?r.
a glow to the bosom of the president*
of our Cemetery association, J nifty'*
now the recipient of a modest comport
tence, and shall I squander no more
years of precious lifo on vulgar; soul' "'
wearying dry goods and groceries;.-a
subject ever to the fluctuations;of ??
Amoskcage nnd Peppered Is, or shall
1 live on my income and avail myself
of the humnui/ing influences of lois I
urc and culture? Conscience and tho
voice of reason within my soul cry:
'Live on your income!' Nover more"'"
will I lift my aching eyeballs to!ae.auid
yon to shelf for cotton batting and-,.;
Agawam mixed: never shall my
trembling fingers seek to fit on warp
ed pasteboard box covers; never shall?T.
my wearied cars be greeted by tho
ceaseless tinkle of the money drawer
bell, or my sated nostrils by theoders ' :
of the grinding coffee! Ko more shall->j
the brown paper bag and the white
cotton string mioglc in all my deains !
Sir, I hate tea, detest salerattn, abhor'. '
codfish, and loath:- that postoflieo and \
three stamps ?"
I was done, and I knew by the hush'
that fell upon that store that, what-' L
ever else I might be, I was an?ora1;J
tor.? Harper's Magazine.
Tlio*Nation notices tho . fact that j'
at the recent Chambor of Commerce
dinner in .New York M9- reference!J
was mnde to the colored men. Ship
building, civil service reform, the"
tit rill* and the currency were talked
about, but the colored man not men
tioned. Democrats ami Republioans ?
alike are fully agreed at last upon i
this point?the colored man must''
work out his own salvation." When'1 rf
every sensible man has come to this >>\
conclusion, Senator Morton raises the,. i
WltOLlvSALK Executions in
PENNSYLVANIA.?The 2l3t of Juno
will be a remarkable day in the ;
criminal annals of Pennsylvania, for
not less than ten murderers will then
be put to denth ? uinc of them being :
"Molly Maguires." The others of the
same class will be hanged on tho 9th
of August. The number of death
warrants issued by the Governor to
bo executed between this time and
the 9lh of August is sixteen.
The National Rifle Association will
send a United Kingdom team to
Creed moor this year 'Ibis will re
sult in probably the greatest riflo
match yet fought The British team .
will include the nick af the Scottish,
Irish and English small bore shots,
while the American team will com
prise the cream of Crccdinoor, Chicn
go ami other American rifle ranges.
. ?? ? -Ml -
Judge Davis, of New York, has,
made a decision that a corporation
is not liable on forged bonds
where the corporation hit I dono
nothing to induce the puivhasa
by the innocent patty. This is
u decision which will impress on busi
ness men the necessity for greator
care in their transaction'.
In the Kingdom of Prussia, among
0,000,000 births, there were seventy
nine cases of four at a birth and oua
case of five at a birth. No doubt tho
extravagant births were visited upon
poor, cripole men. That's tho case in
Postmnster-Gonoral Key and' tho
commission loft Atlanta, Ga., yes'cr
day afternoon for Chattanooga.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Orai i Lie bury, S- C
fXif Oflico in roar of Masonic Hall.
Ma:ch S iy.