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THE MILAN EXCHANGE.
W. .A.. WADK, XutIlsUcr.
MILAN. - . . TENNESSEE
VOW SWEDEN'S M1XCESS WAS
A pnire who neemel of low rteirree,
Ami Ixiro tin1 nnmo of Knut. w ho;
The fclifh born I'miccs Hiljra. lic.
Ami thnt tho youth huil iprvp(1 hT lonir,
Jteinjr iii:i'lc lit erninils, skilled in nonu.
To Jest witli him hj thought nowrunK.
Anil r it rhuiiwl, ono summer (lay.
At i h'-KM, to while the, time tiwnv,
'i ho 1'iijfe HU'I Princess em at play.
At lensrth shi until: "To piny for naught
Is only cpi'rt to hil-or brouyht,
tfo let a waiter irucr-lnn thought."
4 My fliiitnoni necklneo," th"n shoerlod,
I'll mutch niriilnst thy errenteit priile.
The tiruml hull pen-hint lit thy side,"
lint, though my fnther's u-host be. wroth,
j u rent i in weapon, iioiniujr loin,
Ajruinst thy lovo Bin! virgin troth."
"Thy wonl, boM youth, squill work tho 111;
Thou cun'st not win aiMinst my skill,
lint I can punish lit my will."
" I'ej-ln the (rnmn: thnt hilt no fine
t-h II never more kiss hand of thinn,
ISorthou again be pajju of mine."
Vrnin Hipinro to srpiiiro tho Hishnpa cropl
The nsriln Kniirht eeceiitrio leapt, .
The HBtli'8 onwitnl stntely swept. "
Pawns fell In combat, nni by one;
Knights, linnks mid Hinhnps eotiM not shun
Their Into before that vaiuu was done.
Cheek!" cried tho Princes, nil el-itet
"Cheek:" eriod the pniro, an I pm! 'd tho fato
Of her bcleiiifured Kin; witli "matol"
The Princess smiled, nnd said: " I lose,
Nor ran 1 well to p.iy refuse
From my possessions pick and choose;
'" Or diamonds bright, or chests of gold,
r sti ings of pearls of worth untold,
Tliesu nrny bo thine to have and hold;
Any or nil of such bo thine;
Jlut. save he springs from royal lino,
Ko busbund ever can bo mine."
" Nor .lewels rich, nor lands In fee.
f-teeds, robes, nor castles pleasure me;
Thy love nnd troth bo mino," said he.
"Nor Shalt thou lnek of state nnd pride,
When seated crowned thy lord beside.
As Knut, the Kingot Denmark's bride!"
ltingr marriage bells from sun to sun,
And tell the gossips, as Ihey run.
How Sweden's 1'nno -as has been won.
Tninmit Dunn f-'nyfuift.
A. BE AX.
It was a queer shop in a quaint little
house, about which a large city had
slowly grown. The people were quiet
folk who never hurried. So long; as the
walls sto.xl linn ami strong, and it
rented to peaceful tenants who paid
their rent promptly, it never occurred
to the owner of the old house to tear it
down. There were two rooms up-stairs
which were occupied by an old tailor,,
and two rooms down-stairs where A.
Bean lived and kept his shop.
On one side of the shop were blocks
on which were all sorts of wigs, b'lack,
brown and yellow, and one very funny
woolly wig for a colored person. In the
old show-case was every sort of thing
made of hair, that people ever put upon
their head. Oa the opposite side of
tho room was a long show-ease in which
were pretty laces, real not imitation.
In the middle of the room stood a square
box-stove, on the top of which was- duo
big griddle. ' .
The top of the shop door was of glass
and across it was painted in black let
ters "A. Bean." Whenever any one
opened that door a smart little bell
rang, when A. Bean would dart out of
the back room, which was at once a bed
room, store-room and kitchen. The
back room had in it besides a small bed
stead, an old lounge, two chairs, and a
small table on which A. Bean spread
liis frugal meals and did his work.
There was usually a huge pile of hair
upon it. tind his hatcbcl and the other
appliances used in wig-making. A few
hairs more or less did not trouble his di
gestion. Above the table was a rough
set of shelves, on which was the tin
basin in which A. Bean made his tea
and coffee. , A plate, a cup and saucer,
a knife and fork, and a saucepan, com
pleted the list. None of these utensils
were very clean. On the wall hung
wigs, switches and curls, in various
stages of completion.
A. Bean himself was a lean, little man,
very short-sighted, equally absent
minded, and gion to soliloquizing to
his wig-blocks. He also imagined him--se
If a philosopher.
"You'd lose your head, A. Bean," lie
would often say to himself when ho had
been more forgetful than usual. "You'd
certainly lose your head, if it wasn't
tied on you."
.Just outside the door that opened into
the little back yard was a curious tree.
Years before, a man who had kept an
eating-room in the house had planted
there a seed which he had found in a
bag of cotfeo. Every June it was cov
ored with pretty blossoms, and scien
tilic men often came to seo it; but as
yet no one had been able to tell its
name, or where it camo from, aud A.
Bean felt that somehow this curious tree
Nelonged to him, and conferred distinc
tion on his shop.
It was early in tho morning. A
theatrical company wauted some wigs
that evening, and A. Bean's table was a
perfect snarl of hair. His teakettle was
singing ou tho box-stove in tho shop,
and he had set down his cup and saucer
and the roll of bread he had bought the
night before. "A philosopher," he
enid with a flourish to the nearest wig
block, " is always superior to his sur
roundings, and that is tho reason women
are never philosophers. How glad I am
I'm not tied to one of 'em. little or big."
Just then tho shop-bell rang violently.
"What do folks mean by coming be
fore I'm up'." The little man spoke
angrily for a philosopher; but when he
saw his visitor he laughed.
"Well!" ho said after a minute, "What
is it? A wig? May bo you want a net
of fizzes now, or a lace fichu?"
The rosy lift In girl, apparently about When Dr. Stearns explained thnt it
three years old. hugged her headless I was not the custom of his sect to bap
doll closer to her bosom, and said coax- tixe little children, and that every one
inglv, " Set's come,
urn i siiouiu say sne nau. v nere
The child shook her head.
" Your pay, then?"
Another shake, and again coax ingly,
" Set's come."
It does beat all natcr!" said A.
I'ean, walking about her, and debating
with himself the propriety of taking
her in his arms. " Why, you must
have a may an' a pay. Everybody
The child shook her head. "Sef's
come," she repeated, "an' fief's
A. Bean led tho child into the next
room, and as everything seemed to have
grown disordered and dirty all in a
minute, he set her ou the bed and did
the best he could w.th the hair and
hntchel. and as he had no tablecloth, ho
spread a clean-looking piece of news
paper on tho table, and set upon it his
cupful of milk. It was market morning;
the streets were already thronged with
wagons, and he ran out and coon re
turned with a handful of strawberries
in a cool vine-leaf.
The two made a pleasant meal of it.
So pleasant that A. Bean was frightened
when he saw how late it was, nnd
thought of the wigs, lie. could leant
nothing from the child, save that she
was -ef, and that she and dolly had
come. !She cither could, not or wo ild
hot tell Whether she lt;id any parents,
or where she came from; and to all
questions either shook her head or an
swered with a sigh, "Don't, know
nussin." 'Her poor, plain clothes had a
certain oddity, and her ruddy little face
an expression which struck him as un
usual. " You look furrin. You do look
furrin, you little rosebud," he whis
pered to a wig-block, wlicn alter her
hearty breakfast the child fell asleep on
The next day when no one came to
claim the child, A. Bean advertised her.
And thinking she might belong to some
of the emigrants who were passing
through the city by the hundreds, and
who during the summer often spent the
night on the long platform at one side
of the railway station, he sent a minute
description of her to some ot the West
ern papers that had a largo circulation.
He made a little bed for her on the
lounge at first, but as the weeks went
on. and no one came to claim her, he
bought a crib. He dreaded to look into
a newspaper after that, and when the
shop bell rang his heart beat painfully.
But no one ever came, or sent a mes
sage asking for a child. Sef had come,
and she staid, and from the first mo
ment she and A. Bean loved each other
"You'd better send her to the orphans,
home," said Matilda Haddock, the old
woman A. Beau had hired to make
some clothes for the child, and attend
to her little wants. "You can't never
take care of a child, no how, unless you
V Married!" screamed A. Bean,
"married! You must be crazy. A phil
osopher, ninj I claim to bo one" here
A? Bean dropped his 1 voice, and spoke
calmly "a philosopher knows better
than to to,"'if I rtiay so express it, to
complicate his relations." ! ,
"Hey!" said Matilda Haddock! drop
ping snuff all over herself in her amaze
ment, "I don't make ye out, I"
"Than to -marry," snapped the little
man, quite out of patience. "But I
snail Keep ner. inc hrst thing 1 re-
member 1 was bound out.
know what that is?"
I s' pose you
"Well," continued A. Bean, "that-
was the hrst awful thing. Ihe next
was, I was carried off to a Hat country,
so flat a pan-cake would be hummocky
tojt. The heavens shot tight down to
the airth, an' there wa'n't no folks, nor
no apnle-sass, nor no nothin' ! O Lord!
How I did hate it! An' Ezra Doxtater
and Miss Doxtater how they hated
boys, me special. He used to call me a
cuss, which it ain't for me to say I
wasn't; an' she bcin' what you might
call ugly good was forever tellin' me
what becomes of bad boys that are took
off suddent. An' they were forever a
lickin' me, an' settin' mo to work,
whkm I do say I was willin' enough to
do if I hadn't been forever fit at. The
first thing I did every morning was to
plan out how I'd git to go away. 1
kep' plaunin', an' a-plannin', till the
railway come, an' then I lit. I like to
bo where folks aire, an' things is goin'
on. 1 don't set no store by water, an'
so I come to the city, an' here I've
staid. But bein' with folks ain't havin'
folks, not that I (Jo WHIlt. fnlka retr'Ur
not bein' brought up to have 'em, Tint I
shall keep her. First I had a valler cat,
an' then I had a yaller dog. They were
the cutest critters. But bein' of au in
quirin' turn. Miss Haddock, I think I'll
try a human this time, an' folks kin
clack their tongues olf, I shall keep
When two years had passed, A. Bean
took the child to the pastor of the church
not far from the little shop.
"I'm not a religious man myself,"
he explained, "leastways, not till lhad
her. But havin' children to bring up
doos make a difference, an' I'd like to
make arrangements to come to church
reg'ler. Besides, I want her named.
Named reg'ler, so 'twill stick, an' soein'
ns we've neither on its any folks, I'd
like her to be named Alexandry after
me. A princess some w here has that
name. Miss Haddock says."
" Alice would bo a shorter name, and
less unusual," suggested tho kindly
" We ain't usual folks." persisted A.
Bean. "It's usual for folks to know
where they come from, but wo don't,
an' hero we be; so if it ain't agin all
niter, I'd like to have her Alexandry
so 'twill stick, an' her baptized when
it s convenient. '
! who wished to come, was welcome to
the chur. h, A. Bean was much amazed.
The minister mado a prayer, with his
hand upon Alexandra's head, and
kissed her when she went away. And
by these ceremonies A. Bean was as
sured that her new name would stick
After that, rain or shine, the two were
to be seen every Sunday in one of the
shadowy corners of the quaint meeting
house. The two rooms grew narrow. "She
must have, a room by herself." A. Bean
explained to the tailor up-stairs. "And
we must eat in a decent place. Not
bein' a family man, perhaps you can't
understand it. The hair ami the hatch
el and the potatoes under the table ain't
appeti.in' to her." The tailor moved
away, and with Miss Haddock's help the
room over the shop was transformed
into a young lady's bedroom. "Though
she ain't but ten. she'll grow to it,"
saiil A. Bean, rubbing his wisps of hands
together. " Fix it for a young lady, an'
then it will be proper." White curtains
were hung at the windows, a brilliant
red and green ingrain carpet was laid
on thu lloor, and a big mahogany
bureau, bought at a bargain ?t Isaac's
second-hand store, stood between the
windows. The dainty bedstead of pol
ished brass was bought bv A. Bean him
self. " It's just likelier, heexplaincd
to Miss Haddock, "bright, an' shiny,
an' slim." And Alexandra had grown
bright And slim and wonderfully clever;
for she now not only cared for herself,
but for tho shop, and helped A. Bean
in all his work. When she. was nearly
twelve years old,' they were one, day sur
prised by a call from Dr. Stearns.
A. Bean was very much fluttered, and
ran from his wig-counter to his lace
counter in a bewildered way. "This
here edge," he said, laving out some of
his choicest laees, "does take my eye
more' n anything in tho pile. I s'pose
you come for lace, as wigs don't seem
to have no place on heads as has such
hair as j ourn. I sold Dr. Camp ,i wig
two year ago, a sort oi yaller reil his
hair is, an' mighty hard to match."
"I camo to talk to vou about vour
little girl," said (he Doctor, feeling a
twinge ot conscience at the surprise his
visit occasioned. "Have you ever sent
her to school '
'No, but she an me together have
learned to read, an' write, an' spell
some, along of Miss Haddock. When
had she better begin?"
"She ought to have been in school
ior tno past two or tnreo years, ex
plained the Doctor.
Alexandra was sent to the primary
school the next day, but When the little
scholars laughed at her reading, she
snatched up her hat and ran home, and
nothing would indue:; her to return
But the Doctor had so impressed A
Bean with the necessity of an education
ior net, that all oilier devices failin
he sent her away to a girls' boarding-
school kept by gentle-mannered
l-ricnds. - - -- .
Five Years had passed, full of self-
denial and hard work to A. Bean. It
was the last day of June, and that night
by the owl-train Alexandra would come
home. She had progressed so rapidly
that he had readily assented to her: de
siro to fit herself for teaching. It was
not what ho had anticipated at first; but
she had grown so tall and beautiful, he
did not like to think of her bending
over wig-blocks, and making switches,
"Set's a human bein', though she hap
pens to be a female, an' an orphan, as
was took in, he soliloquized after he
had read her letter. "'Twouldn't be
healthy lor nobody to set up an' tell me
what I should or shoulun t do, much
more so, if they said, got to. Life has
to be worked out .anyways, there ain't
no short cut I'll let her work; it out
her own way." ' '
It had rained all day, and the wind
blew so hard the curious treo by the
back door had broken olf short at the
root. A. Bean, though he had a great
aversion to seeing the moon over his
left shoulder, and dreaming of fish,
pruiea nimseii on nis laeit ot supersti
tion. But the destruction of the tree
atl'ected his spirits, and by night he
had worked himself into a fever of
nervousness. He started out,, deter
mined to take a long walk before the
train was due. Unconsciously he
crossed tho river, and followed the road
that led a mile south along its bank to
the railway-bridge, which was provided
with a narrow way on each side of it
for foot-passengers. It was also a draw-
bridge. A. Bean was walking along
mechanically, when he felt the bridge
move. Like all short-sighted people
his sense of feeling was acute. 'Ihe
movement was slight, it was a gentlo
swaying as if the bridge were leit to it
self and the current. He heard the
owl-train whistling at tho little station
a mile and a half away. He ran shout
ing to the middle of tho bridge. No ono
was there. "O Lord," he shrieked,
"On'y to know how to fix this here
bridge!" He ran toward the coming
train groaning at every step. "O
Lord!' ho cried, with beseeching hor
ror. "She's aboard of it! Think of
her, Lord, an' them that's with her, all
expected by folks! Hear, Lord! Oh!
You must, just this hero once!"
At tho end of tho bridge, he saw by
the dim light of the flickering gas that
the bridge had swung around about eight
inches, yet the light which said "All is
well" was in its place, burning feebly,
it is true, but the night was rainy. A.
Bean took off his hat. It was damp.
He managed to hang the old umbrella
on his head, and tearing off his shirt,
heaped that with his handkerchief into
his hat. There was a sudden rush and
roar, and a shrill whistle which m re
sponded to on the other shore, and tho
train came in sight around the sharp
curve, and began slowly to approach thu
bridge. Tho matches were uainj?. "Ob,
Lord, If you must have somebody, take
me!" ho gasped, as they went out on
( ' t.l- A! ..V lf
ny one in nis lingers. --x ncueve me
Devil's runnin' this here job, but Lord,
I'm ready." The rags blazed up. The
little man stood in ihe middlo of rn
track, waving his hat to and fro under
us dripping unit relliu lhc burning
linen dropped on his face and blistered
his hand, would thetra'ti sweep over
him and into tho liver? No, it stopped
just where he had stood.
"His back is injured," said a doctor
who had climbed out of one of the cars.
"He can live but a few minutes."
"I agreed to it." A. Bean slowly
opened his eyes and looked wistfully
out. "Wheros Sef? She s aboard
They had lifted him upon sonio car
cushions. The men who had come to
see what was the matter stcod one side.
The women sat in tho cars anxious aud
wondering. In a moment a young girl
was kneeling beside A. Bean' upon ihe
" I agreed to it dearie," he mur
mured, feebly. "An' the Lord's come.
The river in the midst of the city. I
hear that, An' Sef, He said a child
you know of such is the kingdom. I
never should 'a know d about it if you
hadn't come. The Lord Christ bless
The doctor closed the sightless eyes,
nnd gently lifted the unconscious Sef
from the earth. There was no sound
but the rush of the great river.
"The bridge is swinging- free,", said
the engineer, who had with the iust'nct
of his craft thought first of the cause of
the warning, "there ain't a soul on it.
The Devil's got the watchman, filled
him full of whisky or stole him out
right;" and swinging his lantern
around and taking oil' his cap, he turned
toward the dead man lying on tho
crimson cushions in the rain "Three
hundred and more of us saved. That lit
tle dried-up feller!"
1 here was a breath of silence, anil
then a brakeman bent and grimy,
touching himself lightly on his brow
and breast, said, reverently: "(Jod rest
his soul. Amen!" .V. Y. Examiner.'
A Shark's lVculhirilies.
A singular thing about the shark
tribe, and about skates and ravs also, is
the number of tho gill openings. A
8iinlish, salmon, cattish, flounder, or
any ordinary lish, has one gill opening.
guarded by an ingeniously contrived
bony door, or gill cover, inside which
may bo seen the gills, usually live rows.
But all sharks have a gill opening to
each row of gills and are entirely-un
provided with a gill cover. .. Ihe
position of the month is another external
peculiarity that will strike anv ode who
looks even casually at a shark, be lt only
a dogfish eighteen inches long. No
mouth can be seen from above. ; It is
not at the end, with a gap reaching
along the side of tiie head, as ini a cod
or a pike. It is below; turn the animal
over and it is plainly to bo seen a
broad, more or less curved slit, with
rows of cruel teeth inside. This position
of the mouth is due to the more or less
projecting nose or snout of the shark.
In the hammerhcadthe front edge of the
hammer hides the mouth; some other
sharks; have a pointed, snout white most
of the skates, have quitealafgo triangle
running out ahead of their "'masticatory
organ's. Only the peculiarly ugly shark
something between ; a shark ami
skate, known, as the angd lish and also
as the monk fish, and the great bat-like
eagle ravs have terminal mouths,
Both of these, like the hammerhead,
inhabit alike the i Atlantic and the
1'acitio. . ; ).
Sharks have no true bones. Back
bone, skull, jaws and lin-ravs are all
cartilaginous tho boniest things about
them are their teeth; but the hardest
things, harder than bone, for they nre
enamel, are tho small tubercles that
stud the skin. In most sharks these are
very small, simply causing (he surface
to feel delicately rough, but in some of
the skates spines ot considerable size
are soattered among the tine shagreen.
Tho hammerhead is decidedly not tho
most graceful of his tribe. The white
shark and the smaller blue shark may
lay claim to graeo of form, but the
hammerhead cannot; yet he is interest
ing from his very strangeness one out
of many singular forms that inhabit the
vast ocean and are little known even by
sight, save to the fishermen whose ar
duous toil leads them to their haunts
Utterly without Tear, blindly ravenous
slaughterers, without sense enough to
bo scared, are all the shark tribe. They
will snap right and left as long as they
live, and danger from them, if thoy
are largo, is not over when they are
safely landed on the deck of a vessel.
Axe and club are needed to keep them
quiet, or thev might do mischief ero
they died, for they die hard. ridladcU
Ko Nonsense About Her.
"I tell you what it is," said voun
Spilkins, " that Bodgers girl is just tho
right kind of a girl. There's no non
seuso about her, you know, and she's so
observing, you know; sues everything
there is to be seen, and she s just as
economical and modest-like as she can
be. I took her out to walk tho other
evening, and she saw everything in the
shop windows. More than a dozen
times she said: Doesn't that candy look
nice?" And two or three times, as we
were going by an open door, she said
'How lovely that smells! It smells
!ust liko ice-cream,
have had some, she
me to give her any.
doesn't it?' But,
she would like to
never once a'ked
I tell you, boys.
you don't often tind a girl like that, so
thoughtful and economical, you know."
Spilkins says if he ever gets married,
Miss l'odgers shall be the happy wi
but Spilkins may be mistaken.
l'odgers may have a word to
troit I'ree i'rena.
FACTS ASP FIGURES.
There ar now fifteen locomotive
works in the United States, with a com
bined capacity f SiOO engines per
The 'amount of 'buckwheat raised
in most of the Western States is very
small, and is ' generally decreasing. .
A rw feet of land in ,Tew York
Cily,'15 by 20 feet, sold recently at the
rate of tl5,4,r)6,(XK) per acre. This is
the highest price ever paid for land in,
this country. i . . , i. y )
-North Carolina has 178 varieties of
minerals, 25 more than anv other Stat
can show up. There nre 112 varieties
of woods, and again we are in tho lead.
The Norfolk & Western Railroad!
Company will pay a tax to the State of
Virginia this year of $78,000. .against
SIS.OOO last year. Tins is by largo odds
the heaviest tax paid to the State by any
of its railroads. ' '
The Kin.ua viaduct, noat Bradford.
Pa , on the line of the New York, Lako
F.rie & Western Road, tho highest in the
world, has been completed. The bridge
is over 2,050 feet loug and 302 feet high.
A' r. Sun.
Minnesota has 83,530 square miles.
or 53,4.-19,200 acres, of which 2.4.W.50O
acres are occupied by about 8,000 lakes
ranging in extent from 100,000 down to
75 acres each. The State is as largo as
all New England. Detroit' Post.
For the week ended August 25
there was built a total of 202 miles of
new railroad, making 5.9H4 miles thus
far this year, against 3.45!) miles report-,
ed at the corresponding time in 1X81,
2,853 miles in 1880, 1, 470 miles in 187!),
1,0 1U miles in 1878, 1,014 miles in 1877,
1.273 miles in 187(5, G13 miles in 1875.
902 miles in 1874, 2,252 miles in 1873.
and 3.9G2 miles in 1972. Chicago Jour
The lirice of ivory is going un in
Europe nt such a rate that table-knives1
must soon rise in price. The recent
Liverpool sales showed an increase of
prices over last year of ten to lifteen
per cent., and only thirty- tons were of
fered for sale.. The top price paid was
three dollars a pound for Angola and
two dollars- and a half a pound for Ni
ger. At London seventy-t wo tons were
sold at greatly advanced rates, the
works at Sheffield may have to content
themselves with, using American ivory
for the genuine article, and that supply
is not likely to fall while tho corn crop
is snllicieht for the manufacture of cellu
loid,' or while the heads of cattle in Tex
as keep up in number sind excellence of
shank-bones. Sun FfUicico Chronicle.
i . . i. WIT. AX1). WISDOM.
: An exchange asks:" "What is Pe
troleum?" It is a very easy 'method of
getting rid of 'fire-kindling servants.
A Baltimore belle has married a
policeman. ,His beat was in' front of
her house for over a year, and she no
ticed that he i never snored Philadel
In 1853' eleven cars managed to
ship all the peach crop of Delaware that
was sent outside of the State by rail.
To day it takes sixteen engines, 400 cars
and ninpty-six men. .
A correspondent wants to know7
"how we pronounce Ras-el-Tin?" Wo
don't pronounce it at all; we only write
it, Do you suppose we read tha
papers to the subscribers? Courier
Journal. . .
Tho Egyptian war will give about a
hundred paragraphers the opportunity
to say that the Bedouins are no great
sheiks, and that no matter how they are
treated they will always Be-do-in some
thing atrocious and inexcusable. War
is, indeed, a great evil.' Texas Sitings.
A Chicago lady Who had gone into
the country at the invitation of some
relatives, wrote to her husband: "Dear
Charley When I loft homo I forgot to
bring my slippers with me. Send them
at once." She received a telegram the
next day to the following effect: "Ex
press companies can't spare the room
to transport them. Buy a new pair."
Brooklyn Eagle. .
Courage. ;"Suffering sisters," ex
olaimed the speaker,, energetically
shaking the hair pins from her head in
her excitement, "women will never ob
tain their rights until they display more
courage. Let mo say to you, in the
words of a famous French orator,
'Courage! courage! courage!' " At this
stage of the ; proceedings somebody
threw a box of caterpillars upon the
platform and the meeting broke up in
great terror and confusion. N. Y. Post.
She said she wanted a; ticket to
Wyandotte and return, and the pale,
gentlemanly agent with the dark mus
tache, asked as he took up the paste
boards, "Single?" "It ain't any of
yourbusinessas I know." she responded,
tartly. "I might have been married a
dozen times if I'd a felt like providin
for some poor shiftless wreck of a man!"
He doesn't ask ladies if they want
" single" tickets any more, he's afraid
to. Detroit Post and Tribune.
-rA nouveau riche had his house
robbed of several valuable pictures. He
appreciated them because they cost him
a great deal of money, and when he
made his appearance in an art-shop he
was in a very excited state. "I want
you to get my pictures for me," he
said. What do you mean?" replied
tho polile attendant "Why, 1 was
robbed of them tho other night, and I
come to you for satisfaction," was the
answer. ' But, my dear sir, we are not
receivers of stolen goods, nor are we
detective officers," said the dealer.
" Then," shouted the indignant million
aire, "you had better take in your
sign, 'Oil-paintings restored.'" lio&U