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The Hazel Green herald. (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, October 14, 1885, Image 1

Image and text provided by University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86063242/1885-10-14/ed-1/seq-1/

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WTXo PHbscriptloH -will be entered upon
rfeeelcs unless acoozsBaafcd by the money
aad e cufeecriptiea will be received for less
libasSlr Months
ABVHKTISIKG BATES
aty tre cents per incb first Insertion and J
twesty mvc cents xor eacu subsequent inser
ties
X IBOB OS6 jCfir yOt
4 innf
W Itates on lrcr adverUseiaeats made
Icaewa on application
Address SPEKCER CXXPEK
Hasol Green Ky
PltOFESSIOWAL
J 3L SASH
ATTOftNEY AT LAW
HAZEL GREEX KTM
Will practice In Wolfe and adjoining coun
ties Collections will receive prompt
PATTERSON HAZELEIgS
ATTRNEYS AT LAW
JCC STERLING KT
SAMDEL McKEE
ATTORNEY AT LAW
No 441 W Jefferson Btreet
lVeUUTIIXE KT
IBractksesJn all the State Courts as4
pedal atteation given to business of all
lcis4i la tbe United States Courts
A PORTER LACT
ATTORNEY AT LAW
EXAMINER F DEPOSITIONS
Hazel Greek Kr
J K QClX tAN j aLYKiss
QU1LLIN LTKTNS
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
AND f
REAL ESTATE AGENTS
Camptos Ky
examined taxes paid for
CellectionB a Fpecialty Real estate
Boapht and sold on commission Will prac
tioe in Wolfe aad adjoining counties
DR R B GARDNER
PMYSCIAN ANI TGEt3fN
Hazel Greek Ky
Offers his ser ices to the people of Wolfe an
adjoiaiBg counties
DR J M KASH
PHYSICIAN ANB SURGEON
Hazel Green Kr
Tenders his professional services to the citi
zens of Wolfe and adjoining counties Offic6
at residence on Broadway
J 33 TATJLBEE M T
HAZEL GHEEN KY
fflSKM SDBfiEDH JM ACCOUCHWR
Tenders his professional services to the peo
ple of Wolfe and adjoining counties Office
at residence on Hazel Green Heights
HOTELS
D A HOUSE
HAZEL GREEN KY
Proprietor
Patronage is respectfully solicited from
everybody more especially the traveling
public Pirst class accommodations and
satisfaction guaranteed
rXIfiRATT PODSB
HAZEL GREEN KY
JOHN H PIER ATT Proprietor
A Ihc table is supplie with the est 1e
the market rb4 rst clas accommodatloc
trill he f urnisbeu f er man and beast
H
MORGAN HOUSE
WEST LIBERTY KY-
JAMES
COLE Froprieter
Patreaage ef the traveling public is re
epectfully solicited Table always suppled
with the best in the market Stable attached
ASHLAND HOUSE
NEAE POST OFFICE
TEXTJfGTOX KENTUCKY
IUST i mm EiSOXULE
B E 0SWELL SOXS Proprietors
OAMPTON HOUSE
CAMPION EX
ILEX J ASBlffiY Proprietor
The table is sappMed with the t hoicest vl
nds la the market and the charges are rea
enable Special inducements t Ccmmercial
tearisti
Insure Your Property
TS THE OLD EELIABLK
Mi iisoraiDc Mm
OrHARTTOKrv CO3TM
is JCeHaMe Icmtj Net
busru
Time Trld and Fir Tttl
IS 9EE CHKAP1ST
f - f
The
SPEJtCER COOPER Owner and Editor
TOLTJME I
Hazel Gehen Herald
k Ifce Mta MMer wa Wished in Welf e Ouatr
MVMaec Mrrelj in the counties of Law-
WK e Morra Powell Menifee Ma
I YrMtMtt flliett Estill Fiord Terry
ce 4 Ksett the latter elevcH feeirar
9t a newspaper of any fclad THE H ERALD
fee Scat jUlTirUrrtc 2BIwm i bKen
aa4 Mvertfeers can reach were people by
fta 4vertteeeet Ja Ms columns taaa by any
brsaeme Try It sad fee convinced
W9CXBHWD EVBRY WBBITBSDAY MOKXTST
ar
SPENCER COOPER
WJB6CKIFTIOX KATES
Obc CepyiBeYear
Six Months
mo
6C
T -
- a-
THE SCARECROW
In yonder field he stands erect
Ko matter what the weather
And keeps a watch so circumspect
On toes of every feather
6o faithful is he to the trust
Committed to his keeping
That all the birds snspect he must
Dispenso with any sleeping
Sometimes his hat tlpa down so low
It Ecems a cause for censure
For then some old courageous crow
Keltevca It tafe to venture
But cRtchlntr siirht of either arm
Outstretched in solemn warning
The crow dccldeato leave this farm
Until another morning
Although his dress Is Incomplete
It really does not matter
Perchance the truest heart may beat
Beneath a patch or tatter
And it Is wrong to base our love
On wealth and name and station
For he who will may rise above
His daily occupation
We should not look with eyes of score
And find in him no beauty
Who stands and guards our fields of corn
And does the whole world duty
But honor him for native worth
For rustic independence
And send a heartv greeting forth
For him and his descendants
Martha Caverno Cook in JIarpcra Youno
People
SALUTATIONS
Varieties of Methods of Greeting
Friends
TJi fr Origin and Signification Good
Bye and Farewell Handshaking
Taking Off the Hat Firing
Salutes Et Etc
alntations in some countries have
Yery dissimilar characteristics and it
may not be uninteresting to explain a
few of them Most of our own gestures
of salutation and civility owe their ori
gin to the warfare of the days of
chivalry indicating deference a8 from
one conquered to the conqueror The
head movement was simply the hand
unarmed the helmet being removed
the party was at his mercy The hand
ungloved was in like manner the hand
ungauntleted Shaking hands was a
token of truce in which the parties
took hold of each others weapon hand
to make sure against treachery We
consider it an incivilty to shako hands
with gloves on and t is contrary to
the etiquette of tho European courts to
wear gloves in the presence of the
Oucens A gentlemans bow is but
tiie ocr of the neck to the stroke of
his adversary and the ladys curtsy i3
but the form of going on her knees for
mercy Kissing the 1 ps by way of
f ect onatf salutaton was not only
permitted but customary among near
relat ves of both sexes in patriarchial
and also later tmes In former days
the English sad God save ou sr
and -Good-bye is for God be with
vou Our farewell is a direct transla
tion of the German lebewohl good liv
ing being it is presumed appreciated
bv tho Anglo Saxon It is highly
probable that sa ing and writ ng our
iprvant and taking oft the hat were
originally demonstrations of obedience
to those who claimed it The different
forms of civility connected with bodily
retures are even more remarkable
than the wohIs mutual contact such
as the pressure of hands embraces and
ksses beng always regarded as the
of kindly intercourse al
though the words may to a certan ex
tent be considered as an index of na
t onal character The theory of tiring
a salute is that it leaves the guns
and at the mercy of the other par
ty and ths is so true that fir ng salutes
with blank cartr dges is a modern in
novat on occas oned however bv the
fact of a complimentary cannon ball
proving fatal oice to the personage
whom it was meant to ho ior When
an officer salutes he po nts his drawn
sword to the ground and tbe salute
of troops is st 11 designated presenting
arms that is presenting them to be
taken
The frequent allusions in the Bible to
the customary saltations of the Jews
invest the subject with a higher degree
of interest than it might otherwise
claim as it affords further confirmatory
testimony of the Good Book from the
exist ng usages of the East where pre
c sely the same forms are to this day
preserved
When the Arabs meet each other the
first thing is tho falute which is re
peated several times and is done in the
following manner Each strikes the
palm of hs right hand on that of his
companion or throws it on his left
shoulder repeating always the same
phrase Salamat caf Halcom tar
bn Peace How are you well
This way of saluting is most beautiful
and striking and when performed
gives a new figure and majesty
to the naked Arabs who are tho
actors of it These gesticulations are
always accompanied with a very grave
tone of voice After the salutation
they inquire of each other the news
about the places whence the came
The r news relates generally tnc
buying and selling of dromedaries
whether there are loads to carry or
some hing of this kind They then ask
each other for tobacco or salt and their
conclusion Salute me Hamed at
Carosco and your All at Barbar Do
j ou understand In peace in peace
After this each resumes his way
Women and children kiss the beards of
their husbands and fathers Their
greetings are marked by a strong reli
gious character such as God grant
thee His favors If God will thy
fara ly enjoy good health Peace be
w th you
Nothing affords more interest and
anrisement than an examination of the
various modes of salutation practiced
by the nations of the earth In some
degree these forms may be regarded as
an index of national character or the
circumstances of national life The
Hebrew salutation was Peace the
anc ent Greek Rejoice The modern
use the form What dcest thou In
Germany How do you find yourself r
and in some parts of the country they
invariably Joss the hands of all the
lad es of their acquaintance whom they
timet In Spain How goes it5 and
Sunnsh grandees wear their hals in
the presence of their sovereign to show
rm xl orrige passes it is the rule to
throw p0 tae ciok to show that th
Jf
a- tr
- -
- i iM WMB
Hazel
person is unannea In the West Indies
the negroes say Have you had a
good sleep In the sickly dstricts of
Egypt where fever was common and
dangerous they salufe by sayihg
How goes the perspratiou Do yon
sweat copously Is it well w th
thee and the inhabitants kiss thU
hack of a superiors hand and as ah ex
tra civility the palm also
Some salutations by reason of their
grotesque exaggeration ae calculated
to impress one with the liveliest feel
ings of wonder and amusement The
negroes whose actions are for the most
part of a burlesque descripton natu
rally aflect the fareeal in their inter
changes of ceremonies Their saluta
tion consists ot the mo3t ludicrous con
tortions coupled with the absurd usage
of pulling the fingers till the jonts
crack and when two ebony mdnarcus
visit they embrace in snapping tho
third finger three times Some nations
seem to consider that they evince the
most delicate attention and respect in
their greetings by a removal of some
part of their wearing apparel or by
temporarily appropriating some por
tion of the dress of the onBs greeted
The Ethiop an will take the robe of an
other and fold it about his own waist
leaving hs frienl but scantily clad
while the Japanese removes hs slipper
when he meets a superior exclaming
Hurt me not and tho people of Ar
racan their sandals in the street and
thoir stockings in the house The Phil
ippine Islanders take possOssidn of the
hand or foot of the pcrsdn the salute
and gently rest it against their own
faces while this ceremony among tho
Laplanders takes the form of applying
their noses with some force against the
saluted ones and treating him to a
species of battering ram greeting Ac
cording to Dampier the peoplo of
New Guinea have a more polite and
picturesque way of exchanging this
kind of civility which they do by plac
ing on their heads the leaves of trees
a beng it may be assume 1 symbol
ical of peace and good fellowshp Other
salutations are of so complex a nature
that this form of politeness is most de
cidedlv irksome and can only be ac
quired after the most assiduous practice
Speaking of the customs of the inhabit
ants of an island in the Straits of the
Sound a French traveler tells us that
they raised his left foot whch they
passed over the right leg and from
thence over his face He however
omits to enlighten us whether he hail
received previous instruction and
traning before taking part in this s n
gular proceeding but the effect on a
middle aged gentleman of aldormanic
proportions in performing such am
acrobatic salutation off hand would
not one would imagine be unattended
with awkward results Although not
so difficult of accomplishment the in
habitants of tho Philippines are lovers
of a somewhat complex attitude in
their salutations which consist in
bending the body as close as possible
to tho eat th placing the palms of the
hands on the cheeks and then slowly
raising one foot in the air with the
knees bent
The Chinese demonstrate their na
tional vanity and affection in their per
sonal civilities and the name of thoir
artificial ceremonies is legion They
are not content with their reverences
and their singular postures but add
quantity to kind the number of their
salutations being calculated to a nicety
and varying in accordance with tho
rank and importance of the per on
they would honor If two persons are
brought together after a lengthy sep
aration it is their custom to sink down
on their knees and bend the face to
the earth this ceremony being repeat
ed two or three times Should you
meet a Chinese and venture a
How dyou do ho will in all
probability reply verbosely in such a
strain as Very well thanks to your
abundant felicity or if he should
take the initiative you will be over
whelmed with some such greeting as
Prosperity is panted on jour face
or lour air announces your nappi
ness But perhaps the most curious
of all these is the custom of salu
tation after sneezing relevant to
which an amusing account is given
of the effect which attends tbe
sneeing of the King of Monomotapa
It is said that those who are near
his person when this takes place
salute him in so loud a tone that per
sons in the ante chamber hear it and
join in tho acclamation in tho ad
joning apartments they do the same
tdl the noise reaches the street and be
comes propagated throughout the
city so that at each sueeze of his
Majesty results a horrid cry from the
salutations of many thousands of his
vassals But perhaps the climax
of absurdity is reached when the King
of Sennaar indulges in this luxury for
the whole of the courtiers turn their
backs on him and loudly smack their
right thigh
The Turks cross their hands place
them on their hearts and bow ex
claiming Be under the care of
God Forget me not in pray
ers Thy visits are as rare as fine
days an ancient greeting as it is
by no means applicable to their
present country The Romans in
ancient times exclaimed What doest
thou Be healthy or Be strong
when it was customary to take up
children by the ears and kiss them
Italians on meeting kiss the hands of
lades to whom they are related wth
the strange inquiry How does she
standi Manillas bend their bodies
place their hands upon their
cheeks raise one leg and bend the
knee Persians salute by inclining
neck over neck and then cheek to
cheek wth the extravagrant greeting
Is thy exalted h gh cond ton good
Mav thv shadow never be less and
Peace be upon thee In Poland the
inhabitants bow to the ground with the
sgnificant inquiry Art thou gay
and How do you 1 ve on -Be well
and a common exclamation which
means literally God be with you
has degenerated of late ears into the
opposite Devil take you The Hol
landers with tbe r proverbial love of
good living salute their friends by ask
ing How do you fare Have you
had a good dinner Laplanders when
they meet on the ice press their nose3
firmly together Bengal ese call
thty are not so much subject to him as selves the most humble slaves of
to the rest of the nation When the those thev desire to salute isoheraans
kiss the garments of the ye sun they
miBk to- honor Siamese prostrate
Green
themselves before superior when a
servant examines whether they have
been eating anything offensive If so
thev are k ckdcl out if not thjv are
picked up Geyloucse On rddotiig su
per ors prostrate themselves repeating
the name and dignity of the individual
The Moors df Mdroccd ride at full
speed toward a 3lranger suddenly
slop and then fire a pistol over his
head Mohammedans say Peace be
wth you to which the reply is On
you be peace to which is added
And the mercy and blessings of
God The Swedes on meeting one
another simply inqure How cant
you The Burmese apply thef noses
fcnd cheeks closely to a persons face
and then exclaim Give me d smell
attributable to their great use of
fumes and the French say Uomment
vous portez vous whch literally g
n ties How do you carry yourself r
There are many causes which in
fluence these diversified salutatons
among the various natons of the earth
some resuting appa ently from the
national temper or disposition of a
people -wind others are doubtless the
outcome of superstition Many are re
markable for their simplicity while
others display considerable coraplexty
and are highly grotesque in form But
generally speaking the further a na
tion degrades from the simplicity of
its infancy the more ornato become its
ceremonies of politeness There must
ecist the outward form and actions for
thdse different customs and it is but
natural for each nation to imagine that
it employs the most reasonable- But
whether we find them in a simple or
complex form it may fairly be inferred
that they are not without their value
in that thoy place in the hands of every
man a prescr bed mole of approaching
his fellow man without giving or re
ceiving offense So that such a cation
oh social observance alike sanctioned
by the individual and the community
in which he lives can not fail in its
beneficial results since it is destructive
of confusion and productive of that
something in our daily intercourse
whih for want of a better name may
be described by the phrase good
form Brooklyn EoqIb
it n
ACAPULCO
How th Marketing of Oar Mexican Neigh
bor is Conducted Aflaat
Perhaps the most interesting feature
of Acapulco is the life of the people
who subsist by the small traffic whch
they carry on with tho few steamers
that touch there One mulatto woman
there is who weighs at lease 400 pounds
and who for twenty years has paddled
out or been paddled out to the anchor
age ground as often as a vessel is sight
ed from the promontory adjoining the
town She always meets the Pacfic
Mail steamships with two bumboats
loaded with her own person beside
some fruits eggs trinkets and curiosi
ties Beautiful parrots of a garrulous
turn of mind may be purchased from
her for S8 each Of course she has
rivals but her good natured laughing
face and abundant charms which re
mind one of the display of dressed meai
a butchers stall seem as a rule to
cai ry tho day and she is credited with
possessing a very comfortaDlo fortune
So sooner does the prow of a steamer
show itself around the sharp corner
which vessels have to turn to enter
the harbor than the bumboats may be
seen flocking out from the shore and in
an astonishing short space of time
they are alongside The bumboats at
all these Mexican ports are the priini
tirao dugout canoe whch as every
one who has seen one will acknowl
edge is not ungraceful in appear
ance especially when tossing about
upon the waves The natives paddle
them now just a their purer
blooded forefathers did 600 years
ago before Cortez set foot in the
Aztec empire The huts of tho bum
boat people are on tho beach close
to the foot of the promontory
Hero naked children hogs fowls
and dogs live promiscuously together
in the sand Bronze skinned young
women wade out with bare legs and
loose gowns displaying the r shoulders
arms and bosoms into the gently lap
ping tide secure their canoes load
them and then embarking push off
for the anchorage ground A peep
into their hut3 shows these people
to be lazily industrious and invaria
ble cleanly Their life is just as
simple and more peaceful than that of
the patriarchs of old Cor San Fran
cisco Chronicle
The
DOWN ON PEDDLERS
Gamin Who Improved Upon
the
Method ot IXin Fathnr
Ho was in trade the stationery trade
and he carried his stock about with
him It required no expressage as it
consisted of six diaries and twelve lead
pencils He had rung the bell of a
Main street mansion No one answered
He had gone down to the basement
and knocked Still no one answered
Then ho had tapped on the window
Silence still But just then he had
been made aware of the presence of a
small boy who had issued from an alley
alongside and proceeded to hurl at him
decajed vegetables and other odds and
ends in the street cleaning departments
line None of them had hit him he
adm tted but for self protecton he had
summoned a policeman and had the
hostile taken into camp
The magistrate tried to look severe
and turned- his gae upon the culprit
at which the latter dug his fingers into
his eyes and struggled manfully but
fruitlessly to crush out a tear
Lookhere William Bronnan
hie
Ho or said is that your namer
Yassar
You hear what you havrt baen
doing
Yassar
Is your father living
Yassar
He is eh And no doubt slaving
to support a worthless bo like 3ou
Now tell me Do you know what hi
would do it he reard you had beeD
pell ing this man
Yassar
I warrant you know Niow what
would he do
Lam me cause I missed the
galoot Paps down on peddHrs
xV T Herald
v
THE HEBAUD OF A NOISY WORLD WITH IfEWS FROM AJJh STATIONS
HAZEL GREEN WOLFE COUNTY KY WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 14 1885
WHOLESOME BREAD
-
i
riie Jfowly Fermented Article Unfit fo
tlie liuinari stomach
It is an absurdity to demand that a
loaf shall be of a required size witu ud
regard to the amount of real siibstaned
contained since the expanson is ob
tanod by over fermentation s nee this
fermentive prdcess is one ol decay and
putrefaction if allowed id proceed
sufficiently far it is evident that a
largo per cent of the nutritive proper
ties of the grains must be destroyed
the starch first then a port on of tho
gluten or the muscle making clement
the office of the starch beng to pro
mote animal heat more especially By
a normal change in starch grape sugar
is evolved giving a natural sweetness
to the bread When however this
fermentation is carried too far border
ing on putrefaction acetic acd is pro
duced to such an extent as to make it
unpalatable in which case an alkali
must be used but which can never re
store the natural sweetness of the
grain After such bread is a few hours
old cold it becomes unpalatable dry
and insipid from which fact it is pre
ferred new
I do not fear contradicton from any
respectable source when I say that new
fermented bread is unfit for the human
stomadh for the weak espccally and
if taken by the strong will soon pro
duce weakness As a general
pie it is hot admissible till it has be n
baked twelve hohrs and not the best
till after twice that time Of course it
changes or ripens more rapidly in
warm than in a cold place ill warm or
hot weather being eatable in half the
t me needed in the winter One ob
jection to its use is the fact that in this
form there is danger of over eating
for the reason that it is moro palatable
to the vitiated taste and from its
softness may be swallowed more readi
ly of course robbing it of the needed
saliva In this adhesve state not
crumbling like old bread -it is nofc
thoroughly chewed and if not it can
not be well mixed with the saliva It
is also true that it will not digest
readily in this condition aside from the
fact that such adhesive lumps ot nait
baked dough are not sufficiently pene
trated by the gastr c juice w thout
which its thorough dgestion is impos
sible In evidence of ths take a mass
of new bread gently roll it into a
small ball and put in a glass of water
putting a similar quantty of stale
bread of the same kindrin also Tho
last soon crumbles away and seeks a
level wh le the first remains in its form
for hours reminding ono of its state
in the stomach as hard as a bullet
for a long time resisting the action of
the gastric juice which must have sur
face that its natural effects may bo
produced All know that a solid piece
of any soluble article as sugar takes
very much longer to dissolve than the
same in a powdered form This is not
as true of the Graham and such
bread the intermixture of the coarser
parts of the gluten layer and the gen
eral bran crust preventing this pecu
liar adhesion This is an important
argument in favor of such bread
It is also true that steaming stale
bread may have one of the objections
of new bread that of being somewhat
yielding and adhesive so much so
that it will not crumble and
be made fine by a given amount of
chewing Of course it is not as un
wholesome as new fermented bread
and yet it is well to notice that from
the fact that it is moist it will not be
as well mixed with the saliva as dry
stale bread and that it will not be
chewed as finely while from its pal
atableness there is danger of over
eating It is best to take our bread
dry enough to demand chewing and
the mixing with it of the saliva one
design of which is to so change the
starch that it may be more easily di
gested Dr Sanaford in Oolden
Mnls
WHY THEY STAGGER
The Stages of Drunkenness as Described by
a Physician
Why does a man stagger when he i3
drunk
A representative Philadelphia phy
sician scientist and philosopher ad
dressed this query to a News represen
tative yesterday afternoon on Chestnut
street as they passed by a well dressed
gentlemanly looking young man who
evidently looked through the bottom of
too many wine glasses
You must know said the Doctor
in response to a request for a plain but
scientific explanation that the nerv
ous system which has its seat in tho
brain and spinal cord divides its re
sponsibility among its several parts
much as in the executive department of
the government tho responsibility is
sub divided but centers in one head
the President of the United States In
the case of man the cerebellum presides
over the co ordination of movement
the cerebrum over volitional life
and the medulla oblongata over respir
ation In the case of alcohol intoxica
tion the influence is first felt in the
cerebellum and the victim loses that
control over the movement of his mus
cles which characterizes him in his
normal state This is the reason he
staggers If the intoxication is carried
further the cerebrum is attacked and
he loses all control over his thoughts
his power of expressing himself intelli
gently and in fact all his intellectual
faculties are benumbed When this
narcotization becomes complete the
man is dead drunk In many instances
the intoxication has so affected that
part of the spinal cord which presides
over sensation that surgical operations
have been performed without producing
the sensation of pain The last portion
of the system affected by the potat ons
of the drunkard is the medulla oblong
ata When this becomes narcotied
respiration ceases and death ensues
1 have gone even further than youi
original question implied and have
given you all the stages of drunkenness
It is when the influence of the alcohol
is felt in no other portion of the brain
than the cerebellum when the individ
ual is sa d o be drunk in the legs but
all right in the head Philadelphia
tfews
5-
-
-S - i
ANOTHER CLUB SCANDAL
Unfortunate Domestic Complications
tended
lllW
m
riie Brown Utnslort
An episode which has just come to light
oncernins the Sisters Club of Chicaao
hrouRh the suit for separation brought
igairisC Mrs Brown one of the Governors
Df the organization by her husband affords
a solemn warnlDg to the membei s of tho
Ladies Club of this city In his complaint
Un Brown sets forth a series of indignities
mm
Hii ij JISm
and vexations td Which he has been sub
jected that will call forth the instant sym
pathy of every husband in the land The
comnlaint alleys a long list of petty
wrongs ou the part of Mrs Brown sucli as
refusals to sew on the plamtiu s outtons a
habit of putting her feet in chairs and neg
lect of her offspring and relates several
specific offenses
On the night of July 30 last the com
plainant alleges that after bathing the baby
and putting the children to bed he sat up
until one oclock waiting for his Wife to
come home several times falling asleep In
his chair Finally he heard excited voices
at the front door and upon opening it he
found Mrs Brown accompanied by Mrs
Tompkins and Mrs Robinson who were
also members of the club and the three
camo into his smoking room and talked
Until four oclock in the morning Upon his
questioning his wife when she finally came
to bed she only informed him abruptly that
they had been discussing a matter of club
management of crave importance and he
afterward learned from Mr Tompkins that
tho topic iihdr consideration was whether
Mrs Smith bhould 1 allowed to flaunt two
EJmM
iff siHo v
new dresses each week in the Crochet Room
of the club
Upon another occasion as set forth in the
complaint Mr Brown was roused from his
bed at two oclock in the morning to admit
his wife to the house She had been
brought home in a cab and was laboring
under great excitement So soon as she
was able to speak she peremptorily ordered
her husband to go at once to tho resideuce
of her intimate friend Mrs Robinson and
cane that ladys husband Upon Mr
Browns refusal Mrs Brown went into hys
terics and he found it necessary to call In
n tihvotmnn Ttwns not until morning that
she was able to relate tho cause of her per
turbation She told her husband that upon
visiting the club the day before she found
that the sole topic of conversation was a re
port that had been circulated to the effect
that the basque of tho new dress she had
worn to church on the previous Sunday did
not fit across tho shoulders and had evi
dently been made by a cheap modiste
Mrs Brown as the complaint goes on to
stnto huntflil this rumor down and found
that it emanated from Mrs Robinson Mrs
Robinson was confronted with this fact
while encaged at checkers with Mrs Smith
and promptly denied the allegation
Brown told Mrs Robinson that Sho had not
believed she had ventured such ah ariion
since it was a notorious fact that she Mr
Robinson had worn an imitation sealskin
sacque only two winters before At this
Mrs Robinson screamed and declared that
Mrs Brown always dressed like a fnght
and that the skirt she had on at that iden
tical moment had been turned twice Mrs
Brown furiously retaliated that Mrs Rob
inson was a spiteful minx that she wore
gloves that had been cleaned with alcohol
and had once come down to the breakfast
room of a Newport hotel in a Mother Hub
bard wrapper Mrs Robinson frenziedly
retorted that Mrs Browns complexion was
purchased that her friends had always be
lieved privately that her front waves were
false and that she was known to have at-
A
Oh of
liS
a ball with
tSs
imitation lace
sleeves
This was too much even for Mrs Browns
angelic temper as she herself stated and
she flew at Mrs Robinson with a shriek
but was prevented from doing any great
amount of damage by the other ladies of the
club who held her while Mra Robinson
fled from the room and hid in the coal cel
lar Upon concluding her story her hus
band alleges Mrs Brown stated that she
would never go near the horrid club again
and for a week she kept her word
Since then however her attendance had
been as constant asbefore and Mr Brown
was left alone at home every night and was
subjected to numerous annoyances One of
the allegations in the complaint isthatupon
one Saturday uight he parboiled tne baby
by leaving it in water that was too hot
and he complains that h is invariably
obliged to get the children ready for church
every Sunday since their mother Is too
weary to rise before noon
The club has employed counsel to defend
Mrs Brown and the members have ordered
their husbands never to speak to Mr Brown
again as long as he lives N IT Times
A Misconception
Just one said the lover as he stood
upon the stoop with his girl just onel
Just one said tho mother putting her
head out of the bed room window above
well I guess It aint so lata as that but
Its pretty near twelve and yoad better be
going or her father will be down
And the lover took his leave with pain In
Jds heart Boston Courier
i
Herald
100 A YEAR Always in Advance
NUMBER 33
CHEERFUL VISITOR
Jobs Comforters Net a
TaLJc to a Sick VWamsau
t4Dear me Yes Mis Moon the doctor
jist right about that you orto be key jec
fectly quiet an not have nothiE happaa fcJ
upset your nerves I was jist sayin so kr
Debby Ann I thought Pd ran in a alaife
whilst the dinner was bum an see et I
couldnt cheer you up a bit I laww yo
feel dreadful downhearted about beln side
so lonr an havin things gouf tcrack an
ruin Town stairs like tlwy always wul
when the heads laid up Land o liberty
whv when I got down stairs after that sgail
a VWffi
typhus I had we hadnt a bull dish to eai
oft of an the dirt and water was enough
to turn your stummick But jist keep
things like that out tf your mind Mist
3Ioon jist bend yourself to gctiin well
Now there was Liddy Ann Crozer I al
ways thought Liddy Annd a got well e
folks would a let her but the neighbors
they kep a runnin in an talkin about how
things was a goin on an telliir how
Philander got to runnin round nights to
saloons an places he hadnt orter yoo
know men will do sich things when l
haint cheerful at home Well they jist
in her
got Liddy Ann worked up to mat aegree
that they tukher to the asylum in a straight
jacket an you knew she ony lasted six
weeks I
44 Yns try an git well Mis Moon think
o your children Think o them dear littlo
creeturs Liddy Ann left Philanderll have
a stepmother over them afore long hes
peartin up wonderful A father haint ar
mother no no Mis Moon nothuv never
was truer 1 was a sayin to Debby Ana
this momin that if it was Mr Moon that
was laid up instid o you little Josie
wouldnt a been a paddlin in the duckpond
in his bare feet sich a inornin as this atf
thediptheerv all over the neighborhood -an
Lavined had her cough tended to
afore this it sounds dreadful holler poor
little thing No a father bainjt a mother
Now Ill have to go or my dinner7
bile dry 1 hate to leave you lookin so
down at the mouth but Ill try an run in
agin soon an do keep these awful folks
out or youll soon jine Liddy Aniun De
troit Free Press
AN ANNOYING POSITION
No Wonder the Toll Gate Keeper Became
Tired
A traveler stopped at a toll gate and
asked the keeper if he had any good cool
water
John said the keeper turning to his
son fetch me the gun the one loaded
with buckshot
Hold on l exclaimed the traveler UI
meant no harm j
Well then Til let you off V
The traveler rode on wondering why ths
question had caused offense He stopped
at a house and asked a man if he could tell
him why the gate keeper became angry
Yes 1 can tell you ie nas to carry
water about a mile and a half and its al
ways warm by the time he gets home with
it Every one that comes along asks if hes
got good cool water He scarcely hears
anything else from morning until night
The man who kept the gate last year went
crazy but this fellow seems to stand It bet
ter He is rather even tempered and al
though he has kept the gate several months
he has only killed two drummers and
crippled a boy I kept that gate once
Did the people annoy youi
Not much I only had to knock down
one man and stab another on but I only
kept the gate a week
Why dont the fellow dig a well
Now look here a thousand men have
asked me that question Strangrr I reckon
youd better mosey Arhansozj Traveler
SEASONABLE
-
Miss Tillie McFidge was a huaaaaer
Sho vowed shed wed none but a plumber
Hut an ice millionaire
Ere she was aware l
Took her off In tho middle or summer
Louisville CoKricr JorJWt
Color Blind in One Eye
RTtamhier What is the color
flag
Engineer Green sir
Right Now close your left eye
Is the color of this flag
Green sir Dark green
Just so Shut your right eye
flag am I waving now
A black one su
uNonsense Its
bright red
of
this
What
What
And this
flag
Black six
Pshaw it Is white Your- left eyr
seems a little off
Well maybe it 13 It is a glass eye 1
sir Philadelphia Call -
A Qaestlas ef Age
Miss Benson has beea called te taka
charge of one of the R B- sai towers
An old friend ot yosrs imt she
Yes Bromley I was rafeedwtth c
Always knew shed ake Iwc waji
She als has charge et He switches
Goodness no Why BreaJv Irasat
to hear it You see tbatwaa her ieaUag
weakness
What was
MlsplaciBg herswilAas There waaart
aaccning that sidWtaT lahaat Jac
ihcMPhilatlpMa C
A
-
V -
n
Hi
T J
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